Little Green Dress- What Works to Wear While Nursing

While you are pregnant, you hear over and over that you look beautiful and that you are doing something miraculous. Fourth trimester, not so much. The only real impulse we see toward the fourth trimester is to render it invisible- the idea is that infant mothers should stay home, put their boobs away, and get back to their "pre-baby bodies" as quickly as possible.

Well, excuse me for existing. Let me just put on my invisibility cloak.

 If 4th trimester mamas have any kind of fashion profile, I would guess it is old pajamas with baby puke on it and unwashed hair. I can still remember going to our infant care class, and while watching the movie (made ten to fifteen years ago), being horrified at the ridiculous black hole of sexiness that were the women nursing. I mean, nipples take on a new role after you see them in a nursing diagram. Also, God bless all participants for being willing to be filmed in their sad pajamas. Now, the second time around, I know there is some truth to the horrors of the sad jammies, but not as much as you would think.

The fourth trimester is not the sad, banal pass through people make it out to be.

Women in their 4th trimester are still pretty damn miraculous. They made a person, they got that person out, and now their body is healing and changing all over again. Not to mention their body somehow can make enough food to be the only thing their baby needs to start their life. Did you know breast milk can actually help heal the baby? Forget hiding- those things deserve their own parade!

I don't want to spend the next six months feeling like a walking nipple diagram, and I am not going into hiding either.I have done this once already, and I know some of this is inevitable, but I don't think I spent those post-partum months looking like a dirty pile of laundry. That's just a bummer. I also don't want to leave my house looking like I am sleepwalking, even if that isn't that far from the truth.


With all of the writing on what to wear while pregnant, you can't find much at all about how to rock the new mom phase (true for non-nursers as well). I think the general sentiment is that it is ok to give up at this juncture, but I refuse! That being said, most of the last month and a half, I have looked like this:

The trick is to find a balance between that comfort/ convenience and to treat yourself as beautiful, because you still are. If pregnant bodies are beautiful and miraculous, so is the body you have now (maybe even more so).  I have learned some things  about what works for nursing and transitioning other than my eeyore pajama pants (super sad. also, I am wearing them as I write this). Nursing poses all sorts of challenges, so I would love to hear what works for you as well! These are my best tips for dressing in those first few months:

1. Thred Up is your New Best Friend- The first time around, I bought a pile of cheapo clothes from Old Navy in a larger size to get me through. It makes sense- your regular clothes and most of your maternity stuff won't work, but you will be back to something more familiar before you know  it, so why waste a bunch of money? A couple of reasons. First, the phase might go longer than you think (or you could be back here again), so the jeans I bought (and a few tops) fell apart so much that I can't use them again. Secondly, Old Navy's clothes are so cheap because they take advantage of cheap and unethical labor- it's just not worth it.

Instead, I highly recommend buying anything you need for this stage at the thrift store. Don't have a good one nearby? Or (more likely) don't have the time for excessive browsing now? Then try Thread Up. I bought every piece for this phase from them this time. I love what I got, it's well-made, it was cheaper than a lot of what I got last time, and I can feel alright if it comes to an untimely (or pukey) end. Fit is going to be a moving target anyway, so I highly recommend buying your new mom wear used,

2. Embrace the Button Up- In the previously mentioned nipple horror film, the new moms were whipping themselves out from the bottom of their shirts. I refuse to give gravity any help, so my boobs only travel upwards. Because of this, there are two options- low cut tops and button-ups. I also have ginormous unruly boobs, constantly trying to find my babies as if he is Sauron and they are the ring. So I have found Buttons are a nursing woman's best friend, that she can free herself in minutes while flashing slightly fewer people. So far, my favorites are long tunics with buttons and soft stretchy jeans or leggings. I even do dresses with buttons.



3. Belts- Yep, they still help. A good investment that can move through sizes with you. Waists are everyone's friend. Just make sure they are easy to get off so you can be comfy while nursing.

from https://www.etsy.com/transaction/238927482

4. Nursing Covers Masquerading as Scarves- Have you seen most nursing covers? They look like puppet theaters mated with seafood restaurant bibs.I don't want to fight with them,  but I would like there to be at least a few people on this Earth who I haven't flashed. Even just one. I found nursing covers on etsy that on first glance just look like infinity scarves but are big (and thin) enough to make really great covers. I also love these ones from Covered Goods, which have a little more stretch (perfect at certain moments).

Even though I am not new at nursing, the Baby Bear is, so I like being able to see him and help him.Plus, these minimize our baggage, which is the key to active and sane parenting. So, if I want to breastfeed in the middle of Seattle Center while eating a doughnut, I can.

5. Hats and Boots- I don't skip showers often, but they do sometimes land in the evening and both boys have  started his day by spitting up in my hair (and the Mom haircut suddenly makes sense). Hats really help cover that mess up. Both hats and boots can make any outfit look like you did it on purpose.In the right, I am literally wearing pajamas, but I look moderately functional, right?

 

5. Stepped Up Sweats- Modcloth has a series of sweater/ sweatshirts in a bunch of colors called Airport Greeting Cardigan that I swear was designed for nursing.  It has a nice drape so it looks more like you aren't wearing cozy home clothes, the zipper means you can get it off quickly (and it still looks nice open if you aren't quite there yet), and it fasten off the center of your body, so your spawn doesn't get uncomfortable zipper face. It's not cheap, but they always have it in some colors, and lower selling colors are often on sale. I got a charcoal one and liked it so much that The Boy got me an oatmeal one for Christmas.

 6. Long Tank Tops- The last thing you need to mess with when nursing is your butt hanging out. They can also be nice to just feel like everything is held in. I love the tank tops from M Rena; they are soft, extra long, and made in America! Nothing like a practical buy that helps an American business.

 7. Don't Be Too Quick to Turn in your Maternity Clothes- Everybody loses weight in different ways, and there is no shame in getting a little more of your money's worth out of what you bought before digging through what has long been put away. When planning for the fourth trimester, assume you will use the 2nd trimester clothes again (if you are really on point, buy pregnancy clothes that will work for nursing.

Both times in the first few weeks after the birth, I lost more than half of the weight I gained (we'll call this the Baby and Support chunk), the other bit didn't budge (I will guess that is the cookie weight, and it was worth it). This time, I know once I hit a certain point, the weightloss will be slow and just happen as I can be more active. It would be great to bounce back into my normal clothes, but that's fruitless energy to worry about. It turns out that my maternity jeans are way more kind to c-section scars, and a couple of my stretchy, buttoned maternity tops have been the best for yanking out the nunjas. I also like the feeling of my tummy being supported right now. I won't retire my maternity jeans for at least 3 to 5 months.

8. Bras make all the difference- Do not buy anything that looks less powerful than your regular bra. Medela and others sell "Night" bras that basically are built like a training bra. That's nonsense. I had one, it was horrible on all counts. Save your money.

Snaps in the straps (no one needs to struggle here), snaps in the back (don't fall for the sports bra business, because your boobs will resemble James's Giant Peach), and don't have an underwire (ow).  This has been the magic formula for me. I like Bella Materna bras, though I think most are imported now.

9. Maxi Dresses- Comfy and you look put together with minimal effort. I recommend wrap dresses for work or more formal events where your boobs still need an easy exit. I still wear my Breezy Night Stroll dress every week.

10. Bring Yourself a  Change of Clothes- Trust me. Just go get a dark colored maternity t shirt, put it in a bag with back ups for everyone else, and put it in the trunk of your car or basket of your stroller. You will get puked on. Just be prepared.

I hope this helps some poor souls like me who want the internet's help in strategizing their boob cover.  I know I said I am trying to avoid excuses, but if you just had a baby, you just had a freaking baby. If you aren't a celebrity who creepily bounces back into their bikini, or you have a colicky baby, or you just don't care, more power to you- you just had a freaking baby.

You aren't obligated to look pretty or disappear or do anything regarding your looks- you just had a baby for goodness sakes!

 The most important thing, I think, is not forgetting about yourself in all the craziness. I like putting a little thought into this, because it is easy for me to let self-care slide completely. Everybody gets through this phase in different ways, so I would like to hear your strategies!

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Quote of the Week- A Baby

I know I am not posting much! We have reached the end of my pre-posting, and I think I have a lot of weeks of uselessness ahead of me. Please be patient! I know you can barely survive without some straw-ranting!

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Throwback Thursday- Ideas for Babymoons (Where you Don't have to be Massaged)

When we started to plan our babymoon, we saw the same list over and over again. They all suggest fancy hotels, lounging by bodies of water, and prenatal massages. Why do people think having a good babymoon just means doing nothing and having strangers touch you? Won't enough randos touch you while you are giving birth?


I also think there is a strain of condescension in all writing about pregnant women- every writer is pretty sure you just want to lounge places, when you might actually feel better up and moving? Wouldn't you like to do something fun before the little one in your uterus covers your life in poop?

I think a babymoon is a worthy goal, but I also know that a good vacation can look different ways to everyone. I think even having a short roadtrip to a nearby town or a staycation in your house is worth doing, because planning a little trip gives you something fun to look forward to (and it can be great for you to have something else to talk about with your partner that doesn't include what is hurting). I will grant that planning a babymoon requires you to consider all sorts of strange factors paired with your financial and physical ability to get away..

So, here are some of my best ideas for babymoons, by the challenges you might be facing as a prego:

Best Babymoon if Food has Turned Against You

The Basic Idea:  So you aren't traveling for the food, and you only have a small list of things you can eat, in some ways you can do a lot (on the other hand if what you can eat is nothing, please stay close to your hospital and feel better). If it is a small and specific enough list, then you basically have to go where that is available to you. If you can handle simple things like crackers, the good news is you can go anywhere, though I wouldn't recommend Las Vegas or New Orleans where you show up for the food (because booze is already out).

Places You Could Go:New York City, Jackson Hole, or Hawaii. If you have been sick a lot, odds are good you haven't had too many adventures the past few months. So if you can do it now, do it big. Stay somewhere where you can see a lot without spending too much time on foot (really thorough public transit or easily driveable areas is key). Places like Jackson Hole give you amazing views and easily distance scenic splendor, but make sure to bring what sits right with you. In a similar way, on The Big Island of Hawaii, you can get most anything you need for food, but you can enjoy the place without food being the main event.

Best Babymoon if You aren't really Moving and Shaking

The Basic Idea: If you don't want to move too much, you might try doing a fun roadtrip! Rather than accepting being totally sedate and sitting all weekend (which I am guessing you are already doing plenty at home), get a rental car with comfy seats and get moving on the road. Plan ahead, so you are never too far from a bathroom, but try to do some strategic sitting (with air conditioning and silly photo ops) and see something newer than your living room.

Places You Could Go: A miniature road trip, maybe through South Dakota or by the Coast? Up and down the Mississippi? I have found that any big roads in the Midwest have all sorts of awesome on them. Set the bar low, so you can enjoy it and take your time, since rushing may be no fun right now.

Best Babymooning if Napping is your New Best Friend

 

The Basic Idea: Time for an eating vacation, because you need those afternoons for sleeping. I took a nap almost every day of our trip to New Orleans. I think the Southern slow burn of days encourages a slightly sleepier vacation. Austin (or San Antonio) might also be great, because you can get a hotel in the thick of things, and feel no shame (or significant time wasted) if you want to take breaks mid-day to lay down for a while.

Places You Could Go: New Orleans, Austin, San Antonio- Southern cities really are a great option, because the vibe is so chill (and people are so friendly and warm to pregos, oh the stories I heard). It makes a huge difference to have those around you be positive and patient. If these great cities are too far now, I highly recommend going to any smaller city or a small town, and booking a hotel right in the thick of things. It helps if you can leave your hotel without committing to being gone for the rest of the day.

Best Babymooning if your Bladder is your New Worst Enemy

The Basic Idea: I get it, you never want to be far from a bathroom, because you are pretty sure you have to pee again by the time you are finished washing your hands.This may be the best excuse for going somewhere that you basically plant it. I still would probably not stay in some super fancy hotel, though if you want to splurge and can, then go for it. But I think a larger hotel or resort guarantees you will never be far from a bathroom. Also, airports. You could just vacation in the airport, because there is usually a bathroom every 20 feet. You could just go from airport to airport, testing all their bathrooms.

Places You Could Go: Las Vegas might be a great option if you like tacky and fun. You go in one of those casinos and you basically never have to leave, you can see all sorts of bad behavior, money loss, and retired people gambling all at once. The crazy thing is there are also great restaurants and shows in many of the casinos. I also think the Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo might be really fun, because if you are going to plant, doing it in the cheesiest knick knack cowboy theme rooms might be a little more fun. You could also go somewhere out in nature, like a cabin, just go for one with a working bathroom. No one needs to push the ruggedness here.

Best Babymooning if You are Saving for Diapers

The Basic Idea: The easiest way to cut cost from travel is to cut out the distance you have to travel. Luckily, no matter where you are, you probably aren't far from something cool or new. If you want to play it even more low key, you could be a tourist in your own hometown, buy a few nice towels, and try turning your house into a hotel room.If you want to get further away and save money on lodging instead (also, you are outdoorsy), camping at a state or national park might be awesome. Just be sure to plan ahead!

Places You Could Go: There is something amazing not too far from you. Get on google maps and start finding things within the distance that feels good to you.  Cast a small net and get on Trip Advisor. Go somewhere with great reviews within a few hours.For example, here in Seattle we could go to Vancouver, or the San Juan Islands, or Portland, anywhere on the Pacific Coast, Olympia National Park, or Leavenworth. If you live in Pennsylvania, you could go to Conneaut and Pymatuming, Pittsburgh, Cedar Point, or Warren and the Allegheny Resevoir. You can even make it into a day trip! Don't talk yourself out of doing anything at all.

Best Babymooning if the Heat Makes Everything Swell

The Basic Idea: There are plenty of literally cool places to go so just free yourself from the idea that vacation= hot or beach. You could try taking a trip in a less hot season, or you could just go somewhere North, where hot is not their deal.

Places You Could Go: Alaskan Cruise (Before 22 weeks), Maine, Vancouver, or Idaho. Have you ever heard anyone talk about how gorgeous Idaho is? I feel it should come up more, because it really is a beautiful place, so you might consider one of these less-discussed but pretty northern places. Or, if you are better prepared (and loaded) than we are, we thought an Alaskan cruise would be a super cool babymoon. The downside is that the cutoff for cruise ships is way earlier in your pregnancy than airplanes. They do not want to risk birthing your child on a boat. The mermaids don't like that.

My last piece of advice? Stop sitting by the pool, no matter where you are at, and get in. Swimming is heaven when you are prego. Also, why do people enjoy just sitting by things? How did that become a big vacation thing?

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Throwback Thursday- 10 Perfect First Birthday Gifts

 One of the unexpected things about having a baby is that you end up with a gaggle of baby friends. This turns out to save your sanity, but for the first time ever, we are looking down the barrel of a first birthday party season. My niece will turn one at the end of the month, so we are starting to look for her as well. The first of the birthday parties is in a few weeks (and they last until into December), but unlike wedding season, we are not seasoned vets.

 We don't know what we are doing! Having a baby only sort of helps!

For first birthdays before, I think we got the babies clothes? Probably niceish clothes because I figured that it's easier to splurge if you aren't responsible for the whole wardrobe. I know I bought my niece Aubrey a purple tutu which she preferred to wear on her head (in my defense, that's some damn foresight, because she woulud love it as a kindergartener)! Now as a parent, I have some ideas of what might make good gifts (most of which we own, so I can vouch for them).

Replay from Amazon

1. Eating Tools, Snack Storage, and Sippy Cups- Toys make great or at least cute presents, but as a mom, I now live in fear of them taking over our house. I feel like if the first birthday party truly celebrates the survival of the parents, help them continue to survive by buying actually useful things while the baby is too small to care anyway. These little ones will quickly grow out of their veggie mush and baby bottles, so getting the next phase of eating stuff could be fun and helpful! It may not seem like a fun gift, but the Bub carried around a spoon for two+ hours today, so he would tell you differently. Sometimes these simple gifts which are useful to the parent can be the most interesting to a curious little one year old.

Green Eats sells all recycled, Made in the USA silverware set that we already use all the time with our adventurous eater. The spoons are my favorite. They also makes all kinds of bright, affordable, and earth-friendly plates and bowls.

I think Re-play has the best selection of sippy cups, some of which we might buy for the Bub. They have some really simple sets that I think would be perfect (and are clearly well-loved). If the baby or his/her parents are obsessed with their lifefactory glass bottles (like I am), you could get them the sippy cup tops, so those same bottles can last multiple years (I think you owuld have to be pretty close to know that). If you want something with a little more pizazz, maybe get them one of these cute Lollaland bird sippy cups!

I know buying people snack storage may sound like the absolute worst, but I think this might be the ultimate first birthday gift. Awesome for the parents, fun for the baby, good for the Earth that baby will one day inherit. We have these stackable containers from Kids Konserve, and we use them every day to lug around cheerios and raisins (The Bub enjoys using them to bang on things on the daily). I can't even imagine how many zip loc bags we will bypass just with these three little cylinders of greatness. I would love to receive a second set or even a different snack set like this Snack Stack from Re-play, because I know things get lost, but I am hopeful we can use these throughout his cheerio-laden early years.

2. Clothes- If you want to give a kickass gift of clothing, I have two very important tips for you. First, buy in a variety of sizes (12-18, 18-24, and 2T maybe?), because parents of babies are always thinking ahead to the next size. Second, buy basics and one cool thing, avoid cutesy sets or outfits that can't really be used on a regular basis. We always need pants, socks, and pajamas. We are in less need of baby suits or foofy dresses (moms of girls please let me know what you think is most useful). We have no need for anything that says "Daddy's Future Accountant" or the like. Babies are cute on their own, so you don't have to point out how cute they are.

About 90-95% of the Bub's wardrobe is used (either a gift from my amazing cousin or bought in consignment), and I know I would think it was cool if people bought clothing items at places like these for gifts. For example, you can buy one super cute button up onesie on the Gap for about 30 bucks. Or you can buy 5 or 6 of them in consignment for the same amount of money. You can get a lot more bang for your buck!

Like I said, I loved buying the babies I knew cute things from the Gap, because they really do have adorable stuff. But they aren't ethical at all. They waste fossil fuel travelling a long way and have pretty unimpressive labor standards. Now, I've replaced their clothes with adorable (and completely reasonably priced) basics from LA-Made American Apparel and City Threads or fair trade companies like Pact.

from Garbella on Etsy

 If you want to get something with a bit more impact, you have lots of great options as well! Winter Water Factory makes one pieces, pajamas, and dresses in really unique adorable prints.

On Etsy, you can get all kinds of baby leggings that are basically the cutest things ever. If Etsy trends are any indication, all toddlers will be wearing these- my favorite came from Lola and Stella, but you can also find cool designs at Hazel and Holly, Haus of Zoe, Hold You Me, Skuttlebum, and Lucky Palm Tree.

Baby Bear Threads,  Garbella, Oh Little Rabbit, and First Love Threads sell adorable t shirts and onesies. Garbella won my heart with their pierogi onesies. I am slightly obsessed with the baby clothes (especially the cuffed jeans) at Mabel Retro out of Vancouver. Lindsey Lee sells super cute Dino hoodies that might be perfect.

 I can't speak for other moms, but I freaking love baby hats and hair stuff, so I feel like this would make for a fun gift. You can get hats for bubs their size in basically every design known to man- pineapple, Yoda, viking, lions, truly anything.  I also love the turban headbands that are very in right now and keep unruly little girls' hair in line (though in general, I support unruly little girls' anything). Haus of Zoe, Hazel and Holly, miniwhatnots, Princessory, Lucky Palm Tree,

 
3. Bubbles- They easily fit in your diaper bag and are endly fascinating to small people. Not expensive, but sometimes the simplest gift is the one that kicks everything else's ass. I think bubbles are the gift that makes the baby ignore all the fancy plastic Fisher Price nonsense. A perfect little addition to any gift. 

Uncle Goose on Amazon

4. Uncle Goose Nursery Rhyme Blocks- This company sells many great sets of good old fashioned wooden blocks, all of which would make a beautiful gift, but I LOVE our nursery rhyme blocks, because it opens up multiple avenues for play and learning at once. We can build towers and I read the nursery rhymes off the block as we do it (I forgot them all). I imagine Uncle Goose as Mother Goose's kid brother, so it serves reason that he make this spectacularly cool block set for those of us who need a nursery rhyme refresher. They also make regular alphabet blocks and ones in other languages for all the bilingual babies out there!

5. Books- If you want to buy board books, I recommend looking at children's consignment stores first, because board books are almost all printed elsewhere. If you want something tactile, you can get soft quiet books at Etsy stores like Rose in Bloom Creations. On the other hand, most regular children's books are still printed in the US, so you can support children's writers, illustrators, and publishers. Books never get old as a gift, as the Bub and I read at least 3 books a day (2 are the same and 1 of those is epically stupid, but he loves it).It's a gift that benefits everyone. And don't get goodnight moon, because every one year old you know already has it. Same with that book meant just to make moms cry.

 I would recommend going to a local bookstore for recommendations- there are still kids bookstores lots of places and lots of people have very helpful opinions to share. There are so many children's books out there, and many of them prove just how hard it is to write children's books. I am no expert, but a few of our favorites so far are The Pout Pout Fish, Giraffes Can't Dance, Pigeon Wants a Puppy, and The Monster at the End of this Book. Dr. Seuss never gets old. We also love all the Little Critter books, The Day the Crayons Quit, and a bunch of books left over from when I was a kid. Going to show, for the millionth time, that kids could care less if something is new.

6. Date Night Gift Card (and babysitting?) for the Parents- Happy parents = happy baby. It's another one of those gifts that encourages family survival, so I am all about it. I have thought about putting a coupon for one night of free babysitting in each of the birthday cards, because sometimes people need a reason to go for it, but a dinner out (or going to a movie, do you know how much new parents miss going to the movies?) might make a perfect gift!

Green Toys on Amazon

7. Green Toys Tug Boat, Airplane, or Kitchen Set- When I found out we were having a boy, I had waking nightmares of trucks, hot wheels, and Larry the Cable Guy as an old truck. Eeek! Still, if you are going to get the little one some toys (even horrifying ones with wheels), it won't get better than Green Toys. These gems are made in the US out of recycled plastic. With that much good behind them, it's hard to fight with a convertible or boat or helicopter, no matter how tedious I find masculinity in general. I personally love this kitchen set, and am plotting the basket it could live in on ou kitchen floor underneath a desk (A+ parenting, but he likes it back there).

We have 2 Green Toys so far, and they remain beloved by Baby and mother alike. If you want to go the toy route, these are a homerun. I also love their kitchen sets, which we may start getting for the baby to play with while we cook.

If you have another plasticy gift you are dying to give, may I suggest trying Buy Nothing or thrift shopping before you get it? Fisher Price is just the worst for the environment, so even if their toy is oh so cute, it may not be worth it.

8. Shutterfly Gift Certificate- I have an addiction, so this feels a little like shouting into the wind that I want cake (I do! I always want cake!), but I think that this makes a good gift for anyone who spawned, because they took lots of pictures in the last year. Shutterfly offers lots of products, but even if they just want to put their instagram pictures into an album, the site makes that happen pretty easily.

from Amazon

9. A First Wagon or Outdoor Toy- I think my mother-in-law buys a wagon for first birthdays (I could be wrong!), and it's a rock solid gift idea, because they will probably need one in the coming year, and children love them. My son loves putting things in things and taking them out over and over again. Those little red wagons are all made in China, so let's look at some other options- Berlin has a wood wagon made in the US. If you want a plastic one, Step2 wagons are listed as Made in the USA and look like the kind of thing you take to a parade.

Other outdoor toys can be real winners as well- Little Tykes still makes about half of their stuff in the US (be sure to check if this matters to you). We have one of their little cars at my Nana's house that was a hand me down when she got it 20 years ago, and it is still a grandchild favorite. So this could make for an awesome gift? Even cooler? Buy an old faded one and refinish it in colors all their own!

Bears for Humanity found on Amazon

10. This Teddy Bear- After doing my research for the babies in our life, this teddy bear and something practical may be the winning combination. The fact that Bears for Humanity even exists makes me feel better about the world. They are made in the US and their filling is even recycled, but best of all, for every bear that is bought, another is donated to a kid in need. You are basically making 2 little ones happy with one purchase. You can get the 20 dollar bears or they have larger 40 dollar ones.  I just love the idea, and I feel like it is doing good on so many levels, so I think we will do this and see how they land. I will let you know, but I highly recommend this if you are thinking about something soft and loveable. This is just awesome.

I would also recommend puppets- we bought an eagle at the consignment store, and our son loves him. Bizarrely, even, because that eagle is always getting kisses. How about a kiss for your mama? I gave you life, for goodness sake.

If you are looking for more gift ideas, shops like Muse and Scripts Gift Co offer all artisan-made, made in America, or ethical gifts. Good places to browse and wish you could buy them all!

Parents of tots, what do you think a perfect first birthday gift is? Do you have one you particularly remember? 

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An Earth-Friendly, American-Made Baby Registry- Pregnancy, Delivery, and the 4th Trimester

Congratulations, you are going to spawn! When you get pregnant, it doesn't take long before you realize that having a baby takes a lot of stuff. A whole lot of stuff.

 If you are trying to be Earth-friendly, this can cause a real dilemma- you are about to get a whole bunch of items that you might only use for a month or two, and a lot of it is made cheaply (meaning some super sketchy labor policies, non-recyclable materials, all sorts of nonsense). If you are trying to encourage American labor, this can be tricky as well, since most major baby clothing brands are made elsewhere. This is the bad news.

The good news is that it can be done! Welcome to the Earth-Friendly and American-Made Baby Registry.

I wish I had realized how many possibilities there are when we made our registry, so this is what I have learned along the way. I will also try to mention products I have really loved, because I know I looked for that when I was perusing mommy blogs to make our registry. Not everything will be perfect, but you can make many choices in baby preparation that do a little bit for the world before your baby even gets here! 

The first huge step you can take toward buying ethically for your baby is when you are planning his or her space and making your registry. You can't control everything that your family and friends buy you for your future spawn (you will get at least one onesie with "Mommy's future ballerina" or "Future Slugger" on it. I am sorry, but we all live through it), but you can try to be strategic about what you ask for. First, think about how you group what you need: 

1. Can you re-use something else to fill that purpose? Old shelves might work for toys or an old dresser for a changing table with a little creativity and a fresh coat of paint. Think creatively about your nursery, because you may have a lot of what you need already.

2. Can I buy it (or be gifted it) used? This is HUGE for clothes. Baby consignment stores are relatively easy to find, and there are usually sizable collections of baby clothes at Goodwill and the like. Gifting economies (like the Buy Nothing Project) have baby clothes up for grabs almost everyday. You can't stop other people, but you can commit to cutting out most new clothes from your own purchases. We can talk more about this later.

 Go see your local consignment places first, because you may be surprised. We got our changing pads there, as well as blankets (those Aden and Anais ones that people love, as well as the little ones with animal heads, which are great but super creepy), toys, and books. Join your Buy Nothing Project (or start one!)- we have already lent out a swing and a bouncer (both of which are absolutely essential for about 5 minutes, and then you never use it again). 

3. Can I find it made in the USA or out of Sustainable materials? Your priorities are your own, but I will try to give you a heads up on some of the products and companies that are more ethical and responsible.

4. Can I find it Open Box? You can also usually find "Open Box" versions on many of the big baby products on Amazon, meaning someone returned it almost immediately, but everything is in place. Once you are filling those gaps in your registry, this can be a Godsend, because they are always cheaper and it keeps the world from being filled with stuff people aren't using. 

So, if you have a dresser that you can use for a changing table, don't register for a changing table! And if you find a good baby bathtub in a consignment store, don't register for that either! Without further ado, these are some of the good options we found (and I will try to at least mention other ethical, green, or American-made products and you can report back if you liked them):

The first step for many (though not all) of us, most of which happens before you even start your baby wishlist, is taking care of yourself, before, during, and after that big day where a bunch of strangers hang out around your business (ah, the memories). This can get overlooked, but let's take a minute and focus on that, because you do make a lot of little purchases, and they do matter.

while you are prego 

Baby Books (used)-  What to Expect is good to have, but you probably don't need to buy it fresh when there are hundreds of copies waiting to get love again (and I bet you will use websites and apps more). You could also check your local library for some of that wisdom. If you think something is particularly great- buy it! You can also get the digital version if you love trees, but also want to pay people for their intellectual contribution.

Belevation from Amazon

Belly Band (used)- The Ingrid and Isabel model is genius, but it is also imported. Check out your consignment store for these gems, because really, what else are people going to use them for? So you can find them in most baby consignment stores that sell maternity clothes or even thread up. A belly band and a hair band can keep you regular clothes lasting so much longer. Ingrid and Isabel's are now imported, so if you need to get one new, I recommend Belevation or My Bella Mama.

Belly Care (new)- The effectiveness of these things is pretty well-debated. but I loved the way it felt, and I made it through without stretch marks. Two of the brands I loved and used are made in the US; Burt's Bee's Mama Bee Belly Butter (I used this most days after the shower, and if nothing else it felt good and smelled great) and Mother's Special Blend (mostly after the fact).

Other Options- Bobbie's Belly and Body Balm, Best Nest Wellness, Nine Naturals, Midwife and Mum Belly Butter, Baby Belly Bar, Green Earth Naturals, Empire Squid, Wandering Mom Shop (this one looks especially great), and Earth Wise Skincare Co

from Neodesigner

Body Pillows, Support Bands and Ginger Pops (just wait)- As soon as you are pregnant, it's tempting to address all the crazy symptoms you might have. But you won't have all of them. In fact, most pregos don't even get most of them. Address your discomforts as they come! Your pregnancy will be all your own.

If you do decide one (or all) of these are needs, I have you covered. For a body pillow, I have used a giant stuffed fish, which I highly recommend, but if you can't find one (and you dont want to buy the Made in China Boppy pillows- why does a pillow ever need to be imported?)- Neodesigner, Leachco, Coop Home Goods, SnugglePedic, Relax Home Life, Five Diamond Collection, and Millas World.

Support bands will supposedly help your back if you are having a lot of pain. You have a few Made in the USA options, though you might try a friend's first to see if it helps- Gabrialla, Bao Bei Maternity (for sports), Underworks, or Alpha Medical.

Ginger Pops can be a lifesaver for nausea, so it might be a good first stop before considering medication.Eco-friendly brands? Preggie Pops and Tummy Drops,

Clothing (mostly used, just a few pieces new)- Contrary to popular belief, many of us can go a pretty long time before calling in the maternity clothes. Also good to know is that most baby consignment stores have small maternity sections. The first time, I spent too much on clothes. This time, I mostly filled my closet with used clothes. Name brand stuff too! If you make your wardrobe with secondhand pieces, you can focus your money on key pieces.

My essential list for maternity clothing is pretty short- 1-2 pairs of jeans, 1 stretchy maxi skirt, 5 shirts, 2-3 casual dresses, 1 nice dress, and 3 pairs of leggings.

Where can you find solid, made in America pieces? Both Motherhood Maternity and A Pea in the Pod have Made in the USA filters so you can find things easily. Etsy has tons of t-shirt, robe, and maternity dress options, so it is worth looking there. Another great place to look is Pink Blush Maternity- not everything is made in the US (you have to check) but much of it is and they have extended sizes compared to lots of other places.

I like Bun Maternity's choices for ponchos and sweatshirts. Majamas sells all kinds of maternity pajamas.

-One Pair of Jeans- These pregnancy jeans were made in the US by AG Jeans, and are my favorite jeans I have ever owned. Writing this, I kind of miss these jeans. They seem expensive for maternity clothes, but they got constant use and stayed out the longest of all my maternity clothes.

To add, for my second time around, I bought another pair of American-made maternity jeans from J Brand, and they are still great but they are TIGHT. I would recommend sizing up for sure. These jeans I bought are expensive, but I wore that one pair of maternity jeans constantly (even past being pregnant), so it felt like a solid investment. If you just can't on jeans you won't wear long, go to a local baby consignment store- ours has so many you can ask to see more if you can't find ones you want. My best advice is to go stretchy and to make sure you know your preference about how much of your belly is covered.

- One Fancy Dress- This dress was another huge winner which has since been passed around to prego neighbors. Nothing should be called flattering when you carry a giant cauldron on your front, but damn this dress is flattering. From Ingrid and Isabel (not everything is from China), and you can tell they know their way around a prego- slightly longer but flowy sleeves, empire waist, and a great view of some oversized nunjas.

This year, I bought three casual dresses used, but I did splurge on one Rachel Pally dress. This one isn't it, but I do love what I got (and it is made in the US). If you are going to splurge, you need to find things you feel genuinely beautiful in.

- A Few Versatile Pieces- Say it with me- Maxi dress. You can buy a few pieces that give you space in that first trimester that will stretch as you grow and make for good wear when the baby comes. I love a good Made in America maxi from Modcloth. I have the Breezy Night Stroll dress, but you do what works for you.

-Some Shapewear- This sounds like a joke, but it is nice to have some things that hold you in. For me, I just wanted something to keep my giant prego thighs separate so I could still walk everywhere. Belevation has great options, and they are all made here.

Nursing Bras (new) - You think this is something to worry about late in pregnancy, but as soon as you are thinking "bigger bra" you should think about getting really supportive nursing bras with clasps. Rather than buying two sets of not great bras, buy one set of really supportive bras (because your boobs have it so hard anyway).  I would recommend Bella Materna. Most of their stuff is made in America, and they have a stellar  reputation and customer service.

Also, people talk about "sleeping bras" or soft bras which look like a sports bra. Actually, what it reminds me of is a starter bra. I think they are too wimpy for the task at hand. Here is a US-made one from Belly Bandit in case it turns out to be just what you need, but I wouldn't recommend them.

Did I mention you can get almost everything you need used? Do that. Check Thred Up if you don't have any consignment nearby! Don't waste a bunch of money on clothes you will only wear for a few months! But it also isn't the time to buy junk that will make it straight to the landfill. You don't want your baby's world to be a giant landfill.

Prenatal Vitamins (new)- Yep, you need them. Check the bottle and get them in bulk (if you plan to breastfeed, you have a long run with those horse pills). Beyond that, my best advice

Workout DVDs- You can buy some of the gems (my favorite is Summer Sanders and her sister in law- on sale for 1 cent). There are plenty of options, just be sure to check the Used section.

what to bring to the hospital

We way overpacked for the hospital and then my husband just kept forgetting our bag in the car. So we spent all but the last day with just a third of what we had planned. The point of this is, you will need less than you think. The bub spent his first two days diaper only, and you don't want to miss any good skin to skin time. I wouldn't buy anything specifically for this time unless you think you would use it again.

We got our packing list here, which includes genius things like a phone charger (you will be sitting in bed a lot). I would add your camera charger, a surprise bag for your partner, and flip flops for the shower (bring socks too! hospitals are cold).

I am not going to do too much for these, but I do want to point out that there isn't anything on this shopping list (like so many others) that you can't buy with ethical materials or Made in the US.

from Ginger Lous

A Going Home Outfit (new)- Last time, we used a newborn outfit gifted to us. I think Carter's made it. Now, I am planning on going big and getting something on Etsy, since it is literally the only newborn thing I am buying. Etsy has so many stores that sell just this kind of adorable thing to browse through- Monroe's House, Jolie and June, Ginger Lous, Little Beans, Baby Nell, Gigi and Max, The Southern Closet 101, and Maine Girl Creations.

One Swaddle Blanket (used)- I have talked about swaddle blankets on my Don't Buy Aden and Anais post, and I will talk about it more later in the registry. You can find used Aden and Anais blankets in pretty good condition at many kid's consignment stores, so if you are feeling like you have to be in on the trend, do it that way. My quick suggestion is one Snug Bug muslin blanket to practice, but they will have lots of blankets at the hospital for you.

from Bliss Joy Bull

Toiletry Bag, Shower, and/ or Make Up Bag (wait)- Do you have any of these already? Then they will work just fine. I also think you overestimate how much you will be sprucing in those first few days. I must have showered, but I don't remember it, and it would have been a rinse off. Bring the toiletries you can't live without, but you don't need tons of make up or gussing tools. A few options if you don't have the bags you need- Bliss Joy Bull,  Jack and Mulligan, Dana Herbert, The Club Bag, Purifyou reusable mesh bags, Gracie Designs, and Needle and Oak.

Shampoo and Conditioner Bottles (new)- Never buy those little travel-sized shampoos! Are you crazy!? It's just waste. If you want something that size, try a cool reusable bottle like these from Moyo Natural Labs (my new favorites). I have these GoToob ones, and they need to travel in their own biobag, but otherwise, they are awesome and waste-free. You can use the same ones for a long, long time and keep tons of "travel-sized" waste out of landfills.

Toothbrush (you have it)- Ok, you have one of these already. I get that. But if you are ready to make an eco-friendly change (and this is a perfect opportunity- almost all toothbrushes are fresh plastic and made in China), try a recycled plastic toothbrush from Preserve or a bamboo toothbrush.

Hairbrush (you have it)- I feel confident if you need one, one already lives in your home, but if you are looking to replace there are made in America and eco-friendly options.

Moisturizer and Face Wash (you have it)- If these things matter to you, you already have these products (and probably some failed experiments) at home. We have been trying to find natural and made in America face wash we love, and so far I think Avalon Organics is winning. For moisturizer, we have stuck with Aveeno's moisturizer and sunscreen combo; it's made in Canada, and it has served us well for so many years I can't talk The Boy out of it.

2 Maxi Dresses (new/used)- Look up! Already covered this. If you are trying to breastfeed, bring something you can get a boob out of easily. Otherwise, whatever you already have in maternity clothes will be perfect.

One Cardigan (you have it)- Just bring something you already have at home. It's just to stay warm if the maxi dress isn't cutting it!

One Nursing Tank/ Pajama (new/used)- I covered this in the pregnancy section, and honestly, this is only if you are a pajama pants and top kind of girl. At least for me, I was still in a hospital gown most of the time, so I just wore a pair of old pajama shorts underneath. Nothing fancy or special. You know which of your business you feel alright having out.

Phone Charger (you have it)- Ack, alright, there is one thing you can't buy Made in the USA. As soon as they make a smart phone in the US, I will be all over it.

Camera Charger (you have it)- Yeah, yeah. Same story. For the record, electronics are the worst. You can sometimes find something refurbished, but otherwise, no really good options exist.

Socks (maybe 1 pair new?) - I wore a pair of fox socks in the hospital with the Bub, and I feel like homey socks makes the cold hospital seem a little better. The bad news is that Sock it to Me and Hot Sox are both imported, so if you want to cut down on unecessary shipping, you have to get more creative looking for novelty socks. My current favorites are Solmate Socks- they are made in the US with recycled yarn, and I love that they intentionally don't match! We have some for the Bub, and we get way more compliments than you might expect.

Other Options- For Bare Feet make their (fishy!) socks in Indiana. Wheelhouse makes novelty socks here in the States, though seemingly only of cats. Sockwell makes their socks in the US, and they even have gradual compression socks, which will be great if you swell or have a c-section (this might be my pick this time). Mad Sports Socks and World's Softest sell US-made socks as well.

fourth trimester

Nursing Pads (new)- You will see lots of these one time use, disposable nursing pads AND IT MAKES NO SENSE. What evil villain convinced us that this was something to throw away? So much garbage (and wasted money)  They wash up just like anything else in your laundry and are perfectly reusable. This one is more than a little annoying. My pick? Love your Reusables are organic, made in America, and around the same price as a box of the the disposables (but they will last for much longer). If you want to register for something more fun, I think Marley's Monsters has adorable designs to really spice up those nipples (I kid, but not really).

Other Options- NuAngel, Baby Kicks, Loveybums, Baby Greeters, Prarie Love Organic, Soft and Scrubby, and Greening Boutique.

Nursing Pajamas (used or new)- It is probably fine to get used, but these aren't something I have noticed in stores. You probably don't need a ton (2 or 3 at the most), but it is nice to not have to fight the battle of getting your nunjas out early on when they already hurt. Majamas are made in the USA and have glowing reviews.

Nursing Tank (used or new)-  Tanks with snaps were a big part of my nursing mainstay. You could do a button up and easily stay mostly covered. You can sometimes find them in Maternity sections in consignment stores, but in general, your best bet is probably to get an American-made version. I really like this ruffled one from Shop Pretty Girl- perfect for summer. This one from Preggers Maternity is also a support tank.

Post-partum Belly Wrap (new)- I didn't find these particularly helpful after my c-section, but some people do swear by them, especially helping them refind their shape and accelerate healing. I may not have been committed enough to wearing it, but I didn't mind wearing my Belly Bandit. Belly Bandits are one of the most loved versions of this idea, and they are Made in the USA! This one looks even better because it is made from bamboo. Bellefit are also (mostly?) made in America. 

Sanitary Pads and Panty Liners (new)- This blog has never touched on this, but pads and panty liners, like diapers make a whole lot of waste and aren't very eco-friendly at all. Best case scenario, we would all use reusable ones all the time, but I can't imagine being ok with my mother or mother-in-law having to deal with that mess while I recovered post-birth. If you are doing all your own laundry, maybe that would work for you, but let's look at some other options too.

Organyc makes organic cotton pads that are biodegradable and much kinder to the wearer than the bleached things we all grew up with. Maybe not perfect for regular shopping, but worth it post-partum? Natratouch also has all-cotton pads (so biodegradable and healthy), and their cotton is even grown in the United States. Honestly, Seventh Generation's offering is pretty freaking lame, and it looks like they aren't even made in the US, but it is still better than plastic-lined and chlorine soaked panty liners that mainstream brands schlep. Veeda liners look a little better.

Alright! Be on the look out for Part 2 next week and please leave comments if there are things I should add! It can be tough to do all this research as 1 person, but if we share our ideas, I think we can make a big difference!

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Don't Buy Aden + Anais, Instead Try...

aden +anais started in 2006 when an Australian immigrant living in New York City was looking for muslin swaddle blankets like she was used to and to her shock, realized that wasn't a thing in the States. The company never advertised themselves, but they were a huge hit by 2010 based purely on word of mouth. By 2014 when I was registering for baby, it was unheard of to not have a set.

And for good reason, these are the kinds of products that are made when a woman actually doing the job makes a product for moms. The blankets were larger (47" square) and more breathable than anything else on the market. I know we quickly gave up on the other blankets, and we just rotated the four.

Talk about an American success story! But, here's the problem. The company exploded quickly, and the once Madein Brooklyn blankets are now all made in China. So not quite as American as it used to be.

I'm not going to tell you that aden and anais are the evil overlords of baby blankets. I mean, they may be, but the simple truth is that it was a small company that blew up, and I assume to sustain that growth, they moved all of their manufacturing to China. All of it. This may not be a Nestle situation, but the bottom line is that other blanket companies are continuing to grow by making more American jobs, so why not give them your money? Not only do these companies provide more jobs, they also have a more positive environmental impact, because the blankets are shipping from all that way.

 In other words, why give aden and anais you money when there are cooler and more ethical options out there? Let's look at our options:

1. Get them Used- Yes, these blankets are great, and the muslin blanket really is perfect for swaddling babies. That being said, the secret about these blankets is out, and now you can buy them anywhere from Target to Kohl's to every baby boutique we can think of. In other words, everyone has bought these blankets, and while they are great, they are amazing. Then, you are done with them (after six to nine months tops). Our baby consignment store always has a bunch of them for sale, usually at around 5 dollars a piece (instead of a 4 pack for 50 dollars). This can save a ton of money for you and keep more waste out of landfills for your baby. Can't find them at your store? Amazon also has open box options and ebay has 300+ on there as well).

The Snug Bug on Amazon

2. The Snug Bug- These sets of four look just as sweet and soft, and they come in eight different design sets, so you still have some room to pick what you like. They are comparably priced, a little less than five dollars more, but they are made in the United States! Perfect switch if you don't want to take too big of a leap but still want your baby purchases to have a positive impact. If you want blankets that are even more organic and dye-free, Snug Bug sells pure white organic muslin blankets that are pricey but worth it if you want your baby blankets to be 100% chemical-free.

Swaddle Designs from Amazon

3.Swaddle Designs- This company (based out of Seattle, I think, because they have a real following here) makes more traditional cotton swaddle blankets. Even their cotton is made in the United States, and I can vouch for the fact that they are very soft. The ones I have seen aren't quite as stretchy as Aden and Anais, but they are thicker, which is better and warmer for a fall or winter baby. They sell muslin blankets as well, but as far as I know, they are all imported. They also make sleep sacks, which are the bomb.

4. Etsy- Oh yes, Etsy is absolutely amazing for all things blanket, including swaddle blankets. Instead of getting the same aden and anais blankets all of your mommy friends will have, think about getting something cool like one of these. Again, this is the tip of the iceberg, so if you want to go this route, try "muslin swaddle blankets" and the US filter, and you will see tons of options. These muslin blankets could also make really special baby shower gifts:

sweetheart n sunshine- I love these colors. 11.50 a blanket, and so pretty.

Rainy Day Woolies-You can get dyed ones as well. GOTS cotton, so it is fair-trade as well

Little Logan Designs- with pom poms!

Rosie's Idea- Bamboo Muslin, so stretchy and sustainable. Tons of colors. 

Wee Babee Bundles

KBCute

Swell and Cloth- Heads up, these are really stretchy, but only 36x36"

Tumbleweed Babies- 42" and only 23 dollars for two! Awesome option for parents

Little Bud Boutique- Perfect if you are sick of all the saccharine pastels. Great deal too!

If a baby is coming into the world that you care about, it's great to see there are options to buy them almost anything they need that will also make the world a little better. You can help grow American jobs and take care of the environment by just looking a little bit out of the mainstream picks!

If you want to do more Made in America or Environmentally-Friendly shopping (it's amazing how often these two play into each other), check out my Giant List of Shopping Lists!

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