This is my day, by Vintage Bride Carlye

Dear Reader,
Welcome to Part Two of Carlye's takeover. Today, our gorgeous bride is going to whizz us through her fabulous vintage–inspired day.…

Well, readers, this is my day, my experience – and my advice for you! 
Jase and I met almost eleven years ago at Uni in Swansea, aged just 19. Eight years later, we were living together in London when he took me on a surprise holiday to Venice – and proposed. 


In the next three years, while we established our careers, we went to so many friends' weddings that by the time we tied the knot this summer we had a really good idea of what we wanted our own big day to look like. 

The most important thing for us was that the day had to reflect us as individuals and as a couple. Everything we chose was personal and meaningful to us. And although there were lots of themes going on, everyone understood those details were a reflection of us.

We also wanted to be respectful of the traditions of marriage but not necessarily follow everything if we didn't feel it was right for us. We wanted things to be a bit more friendly, easygoing and informal, just like us! 

As soon as we were engaged, we chose Devon for our wedding as that's where Jase is from. We spent many summers there as students, and decided on our favourite village, Cockington: the most charming place with its thatched cottages and the best tea room.

I really wanted the wedding to reflect my love of all things vintage! I love the 1950s for its elegance and glamour, and the 1960s for its colours and simple style. So I chose a 1960s look for me and 1950s for my bridesmaids. Then we asked everyone to come in their own interpretation of 50s or 60s style. And I must say – though I'm a bit biased – everyone looked stunning! 

To get everyone in the vintage mood, we played a range of vintage music – everything from a 20s charleston to swinging 60s pop. We had a vintage London bus, an old fashioned Post Box for all our cards... even a vintage taxi cab for a photo–booth! 

My bouquet was also made to be similar to my nan's who got married in the late 50s. She loved that I wanted the same! 

My bridesmaids love a bit of vintage too, but are more contemporary in style than me. So we chose a modern dress with a vintage feel: with a halter neck, laced bodice and flared skirt. Then we added a pinny and peep toe shoes for that cute 50s housewife look (we even used the pinny fabric to create extra–special shoe laces!)

My engagement ring is a gold Panther sitting proudly on a branch – inspired by the famous Wallis Simpson Panther Brooch. I definitely wanted something different, so Jase had 'Charlie' (as my panther is now known!) made specially for me. I wanted a branch style ring for my wedding band, and found the perfect one at Alex Monroe. Jase even found a branch style on etsy so we match! 

Jase is a typical big kid, and works in computer–generated special effects. He loves computer games, specially a Japanese series called Final Fantasy. He chose a character that represented us, (for those in the know this was Squall and Aeris!) so we had models of them by the cake. The game also has a classical musical score so I walked down the aisle to 'Aeris' Theme' played by the organist!

We wanted an informal, summery theme and chose Italian to represent our engagement. We kept it simple and rustic – with an Italian menu, prosecco, and a dining room decorated with olive trees and herbs for fragrance. We even put up some of my sister's photographs of Venice. 

We wanted our family involved as much as possible, so we had lots of help with our cake, flowers, stationery, favours and decorations. It made things that extra special. (We had lots of people to thank!)  And both of our families are big cat lovers so our tables were named after all our family cats, past and present.

Our final theme was The Owl & and The Pussycat as Jase had given me a canvas of one of my favourite children's book illustrations from the 60s by Dale Maxey. We used it as part of our invitations (Jase's brother is an illustrator andd designed all our stationery) and decorated the bar area with this theme.

We then tied it all together with the vintage theme in our beautiful tea room: lots of bunting, vintage fabrics and proper cups & saucers – and all beautifully decorated by my mum & sister. 

Our venue was so perfect: Colehayes Park, a stunning Georgian Manor House with dormitory style rooms and beautiful gardens. It's basically a giant holiday home so we rented this for a week and we were allowed to do what we wanted. We weren't restricted to use particular people and that really helped as we were able to add our personal taste to the place, within our budget! 

We wanted the house to speak for itself so we mainly used flowers as its so beautiful & Jase' mum lovely filled the house! We loved that we could invite most people to stay with us & we loved that we had the place to ourselves so it was more informal. We only had a handful of people to help with serving food and drinks. 

We had a great time all helping to set up the venue at the beginning of the week, so we had just close friends and family with us. Most guests arrived the night before, and we all went out for a meal to break the ice. 

On the big day, I was so excited as unfortunately I had been very very poorly in the week up to the wedding (I honestly thought I was going to have to go to hospital) but I woke up feeling great! I ran round the house shouting 'I'm getting married today.' It was great to have friends and family staying with us, all getting ready together! 

The hair and make up team were calm, friendly and fabulous. They got the look perfect and though I still looked quite poorly, they worked a miracle! I loved my Priscilla Presley inspired look! 

My bridesmaids looked so cute with their 50's curls & flower in their hair & I loved their pines! I chose the Liberty print as I love their fabrics & also worked there when I first lived in London after uni! 

The vintage bus was a great surprise for everyone. We all headed to Cockington at a thatched cottage pub a short walk from the church. It was a great opportunity for everyone to meet and greet, calm their nerves or toast the day! It was relaxed and friendly, exactly as we hoped and the best start to the day! I just wish I had been there but I was still getting ready...

It was great to travel together with my mum & sister! Mum had hired a VW campervan to take us to the church – a great surprise – I loved it so much! We did get stuck in traffic and arrive quite late. Poor Jase! 

My mum walked me down the aisle and it was great to have her by my side! 

Afterwards, guests made a beautiful arch outside the church for us to walk through & I had brought everyone a vintage wedding wand by Ginger Ray as an alternative to confetti & was another fun keepsake. 

I actually first brought them the year before, for a best friend's hen do (we were each other's bridesmaid). They were such a hit, she asked if I could bring them to her wedding too! 

Everyone then got back on the bus to the venue. The weather was perfect and so we all enjoyed drinks in the garden before our Italian summer feast by the excellent Dartmoor Kitchens.

We had the speeches before we ate so the very nervous speakers could get this out the way and then relax. They were the most unprepared speeches but also the most spontaneous, funny and heartfelt! Jase's brothers were great – each said a little bit about growing up together, looking up to each other and welcoming me into the family. My sister and grandfather made a speech on my family's side and talked about bring our families together. Everyone was laughing and crying! There wasn't a dry eye in the room! 

The food was perfect. My very clever Auntie and godmother made my cake. I just said I wanted a vintage feel so bless her, already a gifted cook, she went on a course and made lace icing! It looked stunning and tasted delicious! 

We then made things flexible for everyone. Those who wanted cake and a cup of tea could enjoy the vintage tearoom, others could enjoy the bar or the chillout in the Lounge, or take a stroll in the garden before the party got started. 

The tearoom was a great hit with lots of specialist teas including Wedding Breakfast tea from Fortnum & Mason (one of my favourite places) and lots of homemade cakes from a family friend as well as the wedding cake.

We wanted people to feel at home and come and go through the different rooms as they please. We were so lucky that our venue allowed us to do this. I really feel Colehayes is a very special place. The owners are great too – I would highly recommend!

We then opened the dance floor and photo booth. We also had the fabulous Pizza Buona to keep hunger at bay with their made to order stone bake pizzas! Our final salute to our love of Italy! 

Everyone enjoyed themselves until the wee small hours and it was great that most people stayed so no one had to worry about getting home or finishing at a particular time! At midnight, we had an open bar and kept the tearoom going. And we had the added bonus of a basement for our after–party, so the young at heart still had a place to keep dancing but those with tired party feet could also retire upstairs! 

We wanted something for everyone but also still true to us and I think we achieved this. I had the most amazing day and was so overwhelmed to have everyone we know and love in one place.

I also love how everyone's memories, stories and photos help you capture your big day in a way you couldn't imagine. You truly feel very lucky and happy. There are still new moments and stories coming out and I hope that continues for years to come! 

So here's to all Helena's vintage brides – past, present & future! Have a very Happy Wedding Day and may your Heavenly Vintage Wedding Dress bring you lots of love, luck & happiness now and always!

Thanks for letting me share my big day with you! 
Lots of Love 
Mrs. Carlye McCloy-Brown 

For a snapshot of more Real Vintage Brides,
check out my website page here...

Photographs with thanks to Alice of The Vintage Wedding Photographer 

Bride's dress: Original 1960s lace wedding dress – Heavenly Vintage Brides of course!
Bride's Shoes: 1960s Vintage Lace from Candy Says
Bride's Underwear: M&S
Bridesmaids' dresses: Chi Chi London
Bridesmaids' shoes: Mojo Moxy 
Bride's Hair & Make Up: Claire & Rebecca of The Popup Salon
Photo Booth: Alfie the Black Taxi Cab Booth
Groom's Suit: Ben Sherman Tailoring
Shoes: Kurt Geiger 
Best Men Suits: Topshop
Bridesmaid's Pinnies, Ushers / Best Men / Groom Cravats & Pocket: Liberty Art Fabric
Stationery: Groom's brother Danny Deeptown 
Meet & Greet: The Drum Inn, Cockington 
Wedding Ceremony: St George & St David's Church, Cockington, Devon
Wedding Reception: Colehayes Park, Bovey Tracey
Caterers: Dartmoor Kitchens 

And best of all…
Cake by Bride's aunt
Flowers by Groom's mum
Decoration by the mums, close family & friends

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Wedding Wednesday- Tips for getting Fit for your Wedding (especially if you aren't the kind of person who generally cares)

I am not going to say I am expert on this- clearly I am not. But over the last 3 years I have lost a good chunk of weight in a very slow way. Now, in preparation for the wedding, the Fancy has put us on a pretty strict diet plan and I push us on the Zumba.

I think the wanting to feel on top of your body for this makes sense to a certain extent, and it kind of annoys me that people constantly tell other getting married to not try for this at all. If nothing else, the transition gives you the opportunity to look at how you are living your life and what you can do better. I think it is a good thing. And if exerting more effort in any exercisey/ foody direction makes you feel better or at least more in control of the whole making a spectacle of yourself thing, then that seems fine to me too. We have taken advantage of the whole- this is the payoff structure to actually try, which is new, and has mixed results that generally I feel good about. So that's that.We are not sporty/outdoorsy/ particularly showy people, but we both have watched parents struggle with weight, and I know I don't want this to be a continuing narrative for the rest of my life. I at least want to understand it. 

Now that I am a little bit less than a month out, and honestly I think we will let up rather than bear down (people, it gets stressful at the end!) I thought I would give the tips that actually worked for us.

1. Learn to Pay Attention- A few months ago I signed up for Livestrong, and diet-wise, it is the best thing I ever did. I force myself to be totally honest on there, and it makes me so much more aware of how I eat. I like to sneak things, snack a little, but those things build up. By writing it all down, I really became aware of how much I was getting in my own way. It was a big paradigm shift. It also helped me shake off pop, hopefully forever, because I realized even the diet stuff sucked away my daily allowances for things. It is not worth it. I would say if you want to lose weight, start on a program like that, and there are many of them. The best you can do is set a standard for yourself and then be honest.

2. Find Something Exercisey that Isn't Too Horrible, and then Do It until it gets Horrible- Ugh, did I mention I also hate exercising? I like group classes, I don't mind aerobic-y stuff, but I hate to run, bike, etc. I find it all so boring. I need something that is changing to keep my brain busy so I am not just thinking "Man I Hate Exercise." I would highly recommend switching up what you do, but never doing nothing. One day might just be a simple walk with the fancy, but once you make it part of your routine, you just know you can't go to bed having done nothing.

3. Give Yourself Lots of Time, and Just Make Little Changes- This one is HUGE. Honestly, I have never dieted, but I know those things don't last. You know what is a good decision and what is a bad decision, and those should shift over time. A year ago I would have thought we were doing perfectly well if I had 2 cups of juice and pasta. Now, that would be a borderline bad day. There are definitely things we do now (tonight we got pizza and salad) that may not cut it a year from now. You are not a crazy actress on a microbiotic diet. Just start identifying 1 thing you could do better and do it. Build up momentum, but you should never be taking huge leaps. It's like that with exercise too. Even if you only do a little bit, it is better than doing nothing.

4.Fish- I love fish and seafood and it is super good for you. And it is not chicken. Chicken is so boring.  And it can be easier to get good information on what is most ethical to eat. It is also often one of the best healthy options on any menu. I realize this is more convenient in California than elsewhere, but the key is finding foods you love that are still good for you.

5. Buy a Dress You Already Love on Yourself- Ugh, how many times I stood in the bridal salon and thought "well maybe my stomach will be flat by then!" We are a month and change out. I still have my faithful companion the pooch. It is never going away. And even if it did, if I had worn the dress that was tight to my stomach, I would have thought every bunch of fabric was my chubby middle. It's not, but it is where I feel less secure. I do not want to play those games with myself. It's another one of those things, where you have to feel beautiful from the get, and everything else is bonus. No bargaining, or hoping, or starving. That's it.

6. Practice Making an Effort to Look Pretty- Like I said in an earlier blog, I am not the girl who generally cares about this stuff, but honestly I have enjoyed learning more about it as I get into wedding stuff. Take steps that make you feel good about how you look, whether it be wearing your favorite outfit or trying new makeup. You have to figure out how you already feel good about yourself, and focus on that stuff. This isn't about figuring out how to "fix" anything, but just actively making the decision to notice the things you like about yourself and focus on those things. That good feeling, rather than the blergy feeling I mostly feel when I look at myself, pushes me forward and motivates me to keep trying.

I feel like this one is really important, but there is no way to talk about it that isn't riddled with platitudes. In general, we are always willing to treat other people with love, to understand their beauty as being enhanced and nuanced by things they might perceive as flaws. I feel like we can accept the uniqueness of other's attractiveness easily because we look at a lot of people, so variety makes sense and feels good. On the other hand, we are stuck with ourselves, and that intimacy seems to more easily push us to just see good old flaws. We want ourselves to be everything, and no one is that way. If you are going to decide to commit to getting healthy, exercising, whatever, you pretty much have to commit to appreciating all the good stuff that is already there, because if you can't do that you will go crazy. It will never be enough. You owe yourself moments where you feel great and unique and beautiful and whatever else you are already. This isn't lady-centric either.  It doesn't have to be the center of your universe, but the more you can connect with that confidence, the less it has to be.

7. Every Day is a New One, Just Try to Do Better- You are going to mess up. Everytime we go home, I am sure this is the time we will actually be good. Then we get to my in-laws house and they have the best bread in the world. And I go out to dinner with my Dad, and just can't skip the Calimari. Or we decide on a whim to have a late night date and get drinks and dessert. I do my best not to feel too guilty about these moments. The next day will be better. Or we will skip out on Zumba 10 minutes in because we are just sick of Beto (this happened last night). Tonight, we will do better.

8. Don't Deprive Yourself, Because Getting Married Is Crazy Enough- Have your carbs at lunch. When you really want to have whatever that thing is you love, just have it. Who cares. If you are working harder on exercise, you won't self-sabotauge in the same way, because it is like throwing all your work away. But, for goodness sake, somedays planning a wedding is stressful, and if you are a stress eater (like I am) some days it is better to just give yourself a break. Not to mention, going crazy takes away the fun of the whole event, and if you aren't having fun, what exactly is the point? You can slave that weight off, but it won't make you all that much happier in the end. Choose your battles, and if you are feeling totally miserable, honest to goodness, you are pushing too hard. You can slowly move toward what you want, and you are so much likelier to stick with it. If you make yourself crabby, crazy, or (the worst) mean, you have accomplished nothing. F You Kate Moss, plenty of things taste better than skinny feels.

9. Fall in love with fruit- Fruit is the best. It is delicious and sweet and wonderful. In the summer it is even not all that expensive. You know what else is great? Zucchini! You can put it in like anything and then pat yourself on the back for eating healthy-ish. Look, you can eat a million kiwis and it will never be as good as cake. But if you eat 3 kiwis first, you may want less cake. At least that is how it has worked for me. I eat a pretty steady stream of sweets from fruit to try to keep my sweet tooth satisfied. Plus, then maybe you can avoid all the freaking greek yogurt and granola that every health website will try to talk you into.

10. And this is the Best Advice Ever... DRINK WATER- Everything will tell you to do this, but for good reason! I used to be the kind of person who would pass out from dehydration before I would drink water (no seriously, I did that). I loved clear pop, juice, really anything with sugar at its heart. I have weened myself off pop over the course of 2 years (I don't even have it at restaurants anymore, which was the rule for a long time). Now I have juice if we go out for brunch or something, but there is none in the house! Tasty crutches are all removed! Now, with the help of a cute Livestrong animation that congratulates me when I have 8 glasses, I down at least 6 to 10 glasses a day. It still tastes like nothing. It still is in no way a pleasure, but it isn't horrible. And my skin looks so so so so much better. No lie. If all it did was clear/ brighten up my skin it would be worth it. And the water fills me up so I don't feel as snacky. Everything will tell you this as its advice, but trust it. They are not wrong. Just cutting the pop business might be enough to help you lose that little bit of weight that makes you feel better and you can happily gain back once you are a married woman.

Anyway, this is my advice, which is not ground-breaking, but svelting up has been a part of wedding prep, and I have learned a lot from it as it has gone on. I think the biggest testament as this goes on is that as much as we talk about eating all cake diets once we are married, we both admitted today that we don't really want to go back completely. But then again, I so do! I am proud of us for sticking with it, which is probably a good long term skill to have in your arsenal. I am mostly happy that we are getting to the parts that are celebrations, and I don't want to be the bride just eating lettuce. Nobody should be that girl! The only thing worse than water is lettuce!

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