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Sabtu, 19 November 2016

My Ten Favorite Buy Nothing Moments

I love my Buy Nothing Group.

I know, I talk about it a lot, but I genuinely feel that being part of the Buy Nothing Project radically shifted my perception of stuff, my community, even myself. The project connects neighbors through hyper local facebook groups. The members can offer and ask for things freely. It keeps things you don't want out of landfills and keeps people from wasting money. In cities, it helps you get to know your neighbors and in small communities, it creates new bonds. It's all kinds of awesome.

Expect me to keep talking about it, because my goal is that by the end of 4 years the 280,000 members will have grown to at least 2 million. It is all about people empowering themselves, but I am just going to keep talking about it until someone in Franklin, PA starts a group already. Or you give up and ask to join yours. This could help everyone, freeing up money to make more ethical and environmentally-responsible choices, so the more of us who join, the better.

It also just makes daily life better. When I get on facebook, my news feed shows me people being kind to each other, not because of who they are, but because that is what you do. I have had so many positive interactions with my neighbors, which is way swell, and I just feel better about the universe. That is pretty big these days. I have been in this gift economy for a year and a half, and these are some of my favorite interactions:


10. Gifting our Christmas Wreath


 I bought a fresh wreath at an elementary school fundraiser mostly to make my house smell like a real Christmas tree, even though we continue to use our trusty artificial one (It will look like a used fake eyelash before we throw that bad boy away). We were headed back home for the holidays, and it felt like a shame to let the wreath go to waste, so I gifted it to a young mom looking for a few decorations for her apartment. She walked a couple miles to get it, so I honored the badassery with glass of water, and we ended up sitting and chatting for a few hours while our kids played near each other (toddlers never play together- why do people pretend?). It was an unexpected way to spend our last Christmasy afternoon in the city. Plus that gorgeous pine stink still stuck for a while.


9. Gifted Tablecloths

My brother is getting married in a few weeks, so when someone recently offered 40 wedding tablecloths, I jumped at it. Do you know just how many tablecloths that is? It was HEAVY. Hopefully the tablecloths can get washed and regifted, so they will see at least 3 couples through their wedding day.



free
8.Gifted Popping Push Toy/ Plastic Shopping Cart/ Plastic Tree House/ Plastic Wagon

I hate fresh plastic toys- so much waste for no reason! Luckily, my son still got one of those magnetic drawing boards, the shopping cart, even one of those popper toys. His plastic tree house is one of his favorites. We just got them all for free. And when we are done with them, some other kid will get them for free. At this age, they can't tell the difference between used and new, and my hope is that I am giving him a different value system. The newest, shiniest thing doesn't have intrinsically more value.  More toys does not equal more fun. We have gifted toys and been gifted toys over and over again, so at any given time his collection is at least 50% used. It saves us so much money, but more importantly, it sends him important messages about consumerism and giving (not hoarding) as a regular part of life.

7.Gifting Spruce Sap

One of the group members was looking for sap from a spruce tree. We have a spruce tree! An hour or two later, our tree was less sticky and we got to help someone with a school project. Also, I learned that spruce trees are sappy. The best kind of random.

6. Gifting Treadmill/ Gifted Crib


We kicked off healthy 2016 by giving away our treadmill (perfect sense, right?). A woman got it, and her husband and his friend loaded it in their van. In November, I was gifted a crib from the same family. My husband and his brother loaded it into our car. Just goes to show that these things come around pretty fast.
about to find more pavers. also got the bucket (originally for frosting) on BN

5. Gifting Pavers

 Our flipped yard is really just built on top of the previous yard, so every time we go to do something, we find a whole floor of pavers underneath. Lucky for us, we kicked off our summer giving away a bunch of those big rocks to people to put paths through their gardens. One mom came with her toddler and loaded so many that it made her car sit lower. One woman's super annoying rock pit is another woman's treasure.


4. Gifted Food Magazines


For one of my class projects, I need pictures of food. Lots of pictures of food. So many pictures of food. Usually, I would buy a pile of food magazines and old cookbooks to fill that need. This year, I asked my Buy Nothing, and I got so many I shouldn't have to ask again for a long time. Happy to be recycling for someone, especially when the recycling turns out this cute.


3. Gifting (and watching Gifting) for people who really need it

Our city is growing fast, but lots of people are still really struggling, and I have been awed by how many times people have stepped up to help. I have seen people rally around moms leaving domestic violence situations. I have seen 10-20 people step up when someone asks for a ride to the hospital. I have seen them drop off food to someone who can't shop. We have given our newborn clothes to a premie and our swing to an exhausted mother of twins. We have given hats and warm clothes to the homeless. We have helped the group outfit elementary school classrooms with supplies. I have watch so many people empty their cupboards to help their neighbor.

I know we have problems, but I genuinely believe, have to believe that we as Americans are fundamentally good. When faced with an individual who needs help, I have never seen the group go silent. Someone helps. Usually, at least a dozen people offer. Being a participant in this is great, but it does my soul so much good to be a witness. Because when I leave my house, even in this big city, I know how many kind people are around me.


2. Gifting a Wedding Dress

I foolishly impulse bought a wedding dress at Priscilla of Boston because they were closing and had a ridiculous clearance. In the end. I wore a different dress. This spring, a woman asked if anyone had a wedding dress to gift or lend, and I did! So it traveled with my Dad and his wife across the country for her to try on. And it looked perfect. Little did I know I bought her dress for her, but it was fate. She looks amazing.

They get married next year, so I won't post a picture, but I could not be more excited about this. So glad the dress is going to good use and honored to have helped with their day!

1. Gifted the Dining Room Table

Last October, my husband was home for a sick day, and we ended up loading our sick butts into the car, renting a van, and going to a stranger's house to pick up the table. I had thrown my hat in for the table, but he was picked, then it didn't work in his space. Not only was it a kind of fun adventure, but I am super sentimental about this table. It was another growing family's first, and now our family will grow up eating their meals around this table.

It has been a lot of work (put on pause because we found out we were pregnant soon after), but the table only cost us 15 dollars for the van rental. Compare it to the same table at Pottery Barn, we saved over 2,000 dollars. We can put that money toward a trip or adventure for our family, and when it is done, we will still have a beautiful space. I love the table and I feel so grateful to live in the kind of neighborhood where things are given so freely and happily.

That's what this is all about to me. When we are willing to share with our neighbors, we can build new bonds and reprioritize our life. It doesn't have to all be about the next thing you are going to buy, and you spend most of the time considering what you have that you can give. If you aren't in a Buy Nothing group, check out their page and join. If there isn't one where you live, let's talk about starting one. This thing can change the world and change your life!
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Jumat, 30 September 2016

Little Green Dress- What Works to Wear While Nursing


While you are pregnant, you hear over and over that you look beautiful and that you are doing something miraculous. Fourth trimester, not so much. The only real impulse we see toward the fourth trimester is to render it invisible- the idea is that infant mothers should stay home, put their boobs away, and get back to their "pre-baby bodies" as quickly as possible.

Well, excuse me for existing. Let me just put on my invisibility cloak.

 If 4th trimester mamas have any kind of fashion profile, I would guess it is old pajamas with baby puke on it and unwashed hair. I can still remember going to our infant care class, and while watching the movie (made ten to fifteen years ago), being horrified at the ridiculous black hole of sexiness that were the women nursing. I mean, nipples take on a new role after you see them in a nursing diagram. Also, God bless all participants for being willing to be filmed in their sad pajamas. Now, the second time around, I know there is some truth to the horrors of the sad jammies, but not as much as you would think.

The fourth trimester is not the sad, banal pass through people make it out to be.

Women in their 4th trimester are still pretty damn miraculous. They made a person, they got that person out, and now their body is healing and changing all over again. Not to mention their body somehow can make enough food to be the only thing their baby needs to start their life. Did you know breast milk can actually help heal the baby? Forget hiding- those things deserve their own parade!

I don't want to spend the next six months feeling like a walking nipple diagram, and I am not going into hiding either.I have done this once already, and I know some of this is inevitable, but I don't think I spent those post-partum months looking like a dirty pile of laundry. That's just a bummer. I also don't want to leave my house looking like I am sleepwalking, even if that isn't that far from the truth.


With all of the writing on what to wear while pregnant, you can't find much at all about how to rock the new mom phase (true for non-nursers as well). I think the general sentiment is that it is ok to give up at this juncture, but I refuse! That being said, most of the last month and a half, I have looked like this:


The trick is to find a balance between that comfort/ convenience and to treat yourself as beautiful, because you still are. If pregnant bodies are beautiful and miraculous, so is the body you have now (maybe even more so).  I have learned some things  about what works for nursing and transitioning other than my eeyore pajama pants (super sad. also, I am wearing them as I write this). Nursing poses all sorts of challenges, so I would love to hear what works for you as well! These are my best tips for dressing in those first few months:

1. Thred Up is your New Best Friend- The first time around, I bought a pile of cheapo clothes from Old Navy in a larger size to get me through. It makes sense- your regular clothes and most of your maternity stuff won't work, but you will be back to something more familiar before you know  it, so why waste a bunch of money? A couple of reasons. First, the phase might go longer than you think (or you could be back here again), so the jeans I bought (and a few tops) fell apart so much that I can't use them again. Secondly, Old Navy's clothes are so cheap because they take advantage of cheap and unethical labor- it's just not worth it.

Instead, I highly recommend buying anything you need for this stage at the thrift store. Don't have a good one nearby? Or (more likely) don't have the time for excessive browsing now? Then try Thread Up. I bought every piece for this phase from them this time. I love what I got, it's well-made, it was cheaper than a lot of what I got last time, and I can feel alright if it comes to an untimely (or pukey) end. Fit is going to be a moving target anyway, so I highly recommend buying your new mom wear used,


2. Embrace the Button Up- In the previously mentioned nipple horror film, the new moms were whipping themselves out from the bottom of their shirts. I refuse to give gravity any help, so my boobs only travel upwards. Because of this, there are two options- low cut tops and button-ups. I also have ginormous unruly boobs, constantly trying to find my babies as if he is Sauron and they are the ring. So I have found Buttons are a nursing woman's best friend, that she can free herself in minutes while flashing slightly fewer people. So far, my favorites are long tunics with buttons and soft stretchy jeans or leggings. I even do dresses with buttons.



3. Belts- Yep, they still help. A good investment that can move through sizes with you. Waists are everyone's friend. Just make sure they are easy to get off so you can be comfy while nursing.
from https://www.etsy.com/transaction/238927482

4. Nursing Covers Masquerading as Scarves- Have you seen most nursing covers? They look like puppet theaters mated with seafood restaurant bibs.I don't want to fight with them,  but I would like there to be at least a few people on this Earth who I haven't flashed. Even just one. I found nursing covers on etsy that on first glance just look like infinity scarves but are big (and thin) enough to make really great covers. I also love these ones from Covered Goods, which have a little more stretch (perfect at certain moments).

Even though I am not new at nursing, the Baby Bear is, so I like being able to see him and help him.Plus, these minimize our baggage, which is the key to active and sane parenting. So, if I want to breastfeed in the middle of Seattle Center while eating a doughnut, I can.


5. Hats and Boots- I don't skip showers often, but they do sometimes land in the evening and both boys have  started his day by spitting up in my hair (and the Mom haircut suddenly makes sense). Hats really help cover that mess up. Both hats and boots can make any outfit look like you did it on purpose.In the right, I am literally wearing pajamas, but I look moderately functional, right?

 
5. Stepped Up Sweats- Modcloth has a series of sweater/ sweatshirts in a bunch of colors called Airport Greeting Cardigan that I swear was designed for nursing.  It has a nice drape so it looks more like you aren't wearing cozy home clothes, the zipper means you can get it off quickly (and it still looks nice open if you aren't quite there yet), and it fasten off the center of your body, so your spawn doesn't get uncomfortable zipper face. It's not cheap, but they always have it in some colors, and lower selling colors are often on sale. I got a charcoal one and liked it so much that The Boy got me an oatmeal one for Christmas.

 6. Long Tank Tops- The last thing you need to mess with when nursing is your butt hanging out. They can also be nice to just feel like everything is held in. I love the tank tops from M Rena; they are soft, extra long, and made in America! Nothing like a practical buy that helps an American business.


 7. Don't Be Too Quick to Turn in your Maternity Clothes- Everybody loses weight in different ways, and there is no shame in getting a little more of your money's worth out of what you bought before digging through what has long been put away. When planning for the fourth trimester, assume you will use the 2nd trimester clothes again (if you are really on point, buy pregnancy clothes that will work for nursing.

Both times in the first few weeks after the birth, I lost more than half of the weight I gained (we'll call this the Baby and Support chunk), the other bit didn't budge (I will guess that is the cookie weight, and it was worth it). This time, I know once I hit a certain point, the weightloss will be slow and just happen as I can be more active. It would be great to bounce back into my normal clothes, but that's fruitless energy to worry about. It turns out that my maternity jeans are way more kind to c-section scars, and a couple of my stretchy, buttoned maternity tops have been the best for yanking out the nunjas. I also like the feeling of my tummy being supported right now. I won't retire my maternity jeans for at least 3 to 5 months.

8. Bras make all the difference- Do not buy anything that looks less powerful than your regular bra. Medela and others sell "Night" bras that basically are built like a training bra. That's nonsense. I had one, it was horrible on all counts. Save your money.

Snaps in the straps (no one needs to struggle here), snaps in the back (don't fall for the sports bra business, because your boobs will resemble James's Giant Peach), and don't have an underwire (ow).  This has been the magic formula for me. I like Bella Materna bras, though I think most are imported now.


9. Maxi Dresses- Comfy and you look put together with minimal effort. I recommend wrap dresses for work or more formal events where your boobs still need an easy exit. I still wear my Breezy Night Stroll dress every week.

10. Bring Yourself a  Change of Clothes- Trust me. Just go get a dark colored maternity t shirt, put it in a bag with back ups for everyone else, and put it in the trunk of your car or basket of your stroller. You will get puked on. Just be prepared.


I hope this helps some poor souls like me who want the internet's help in strategizing their boob cover.  I know I said I am trying to avoid excuses, but if you just had a baby, you just had a freaking baby. If you aren't a celebrity who creepily bounces back into their bikini, or you have a colicky baby, or you just don't care, more power to you- you just had a freaking baby.

You aren't obligated to look pretty or disappear or do anything regarding your looks- you just had a baby for goodness sakes!

 The most important thing, I think, is not forgetting about yourself in all the craziness. I like putting a little thought into this, because it is easy for me to let self-care slide completely. Everybody gets through this phase in different ways, so I would like to hear your strategies!
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Minggu, 20 Desember 2015

Are These The Most Stylish Weddings of 2015?

Dear Reader,
How's your Christmas going? All ready...? No, me neither. No matter how early you get started, doesn't it always seem a rush. Well, let's steal a minute away from the festive frenzy to draw breath and enjoy a few vintage moments from our year. 

Kick off those high heels, swap your spiced rum cocktail for a nice cup of Earl Grey, and relax while I show you the Most Stylish Brides of 2015 according to the Daily Telegraph... 
Heiress Beatrice Borromeo in Armani Prive… just one of her five couture wedding dresses!

As it's The Daily Telegraph these are crazy society weddings. All the brides do look stunning – but at what a price! One wedding dress is encrusted with 15 carats of Chopard diamonds. Another wedding dress is rumoured to have cost over £50,000. And heiress Beatrice Borromeo wears not one or even two – but five couture wedding dresses! A tad excessive... non?
Hilary Rhoda in Carolina Herrara dress, encrusted with 14.7 carats of Chopard diamonds!

However, most of these fabulous couture wedding dresses are based on vintage originals. And it's perfectly possible to achieve equally stunning looks on a more realistic budget. So – of course – I can't resist showing you how...!
Beatrice Borromeo in blush Valentino vintage–inspired wedding dress and cape


Beatrice Borromeo

For her official wedding ceremony, Heiress Beatrice Borromeo chose a pale pink Valentino silk tulle gown with a delicate beaded cape (above). I'm always looking for similar antique beaded capes from Victorian to 1930s. And if you too love this look, do call me to see what little treasure are in my current stock. 
An original vintage wedding capelet, from my West London studio.

A week later, Borromeo said 'I do' again – this time on one of her family's islands! For this ceremony, she wore a beautiful ivory-coloured dress with a flared silhouette in Chantilly lace from Armani's luxury Privé label. The silk chiffon layered gown was paired with a delicate silk tulle veil, also with a Chantilly lace border.
Beatrice Borromeo in Armani Prive wedding dress

Full length lace wedding dresses like this one are always in style. I have a range of lovely figure–flattering dresses in my Heavenly Collection made from exquisite lace (and you don't even need to be an heiress to afford one!) As well as some wonderful original lace wedding dresses like the 1960s one shown below…
Full length, 1940s–inspired lace wedding dress from my Heavenly Collection.
Original 1960s vintage wedding dress in lace, from my West London studio.
Long lace veil from my Heavenly Collection


Allison Williams

Another featured bride is Girls actress Allison Williams. Allison married entrepreneur Ricky Van Veen in September at Brush Creek Ranch in Wyoming, in a ceremony officiated by actor Tom Hanks. Her 1950s–inspired Oscar de la Renta gown was created by the fashion house's British creative director, Peter Copping. The heavily embellished gown featured a sheer, long-sleeved overlay atop a full-skirted strapless dress.
Allison Williams in Oscar de la Renta wedding dress.

These 1950s wedding dresses are so feminine and flattering, whether original or simply vintage–style like my Heavenly Collection version below. These styles really are timeless. Look out for the cinched waist, full skirt and neat bodice.
Original 1950s wedding dress from my West London studio.
One of many 1950s inspired lace wedding dresses in my Heavenly Collection


Nicky Hilton

Not only Allison's but several other dresses in the Most Stylish list had their roots in classic 1950s styles. Nicky Hilton married banking scion James Rothschild in Kensington Palace Gardens in London. Her 1950s–style couture lace Valentino gown that is said to have cost £50,000 and with its high neck, full skirt and long sleeves has echoes of everyone's favourite brides Grace Kelly and Kate Middleton.
Nicky Hilton in lace Valentino wedding dress
1950s style lace wedding dress from my Heavenly Collection

Noor Fares

Fine jeweller Noor Fares also chose 1950s style for her wedding to artist Alexandre Al Khawam at a beautiful ceremony in Normandy in June. Her first dress – yes, there were two – was this beautiful haute couture Giambattista Valli gown. 

Noor also wore an Azzedine Alaia wedding dress, speckled with delicate pearls...
Noor Fares in Azzedine Alaia wedding dress.


Bar Refaeli

The next bride featured in the Most Stylish list is Israeli model Bar Refaeli. For her lavish wedding to business magnate Adi Ezra this year, Bar wore a custom-made, 1970s–inspired bohemian Chloe gown.. and looked every inch a supermodel!
Bar Refaeli in Chloe vintage–inspired wedding dress

But you don't have to be a model marrying a millionaire to look gorgeous in a boho–style original vintage wedding dress, like this beautiful original 1970s dress from my collection...
Original 1970s wedding dress from my West London studio.

Original 1970s wedding dress from my West London studio

Hilary Rhoda

Model Hilary Rhoda wore an elegant and simple 1930s–inspired Carolina Herrera wedding gown to marry NHL player Sean Avery in the Hamptons. But – you guessed it – this chic and 'simple' dress also featured beading with 14.7 carats of Chopard diamonds!
Hilary Rhoda in Carolina Herrara wedding dress

For similarly chic and elegant 1930s–inspired silhouettes try my Heavenly Collection… (Real diamonds come as extra!)
1930s style lace wedding dress with fishtail, from my Heavenly Collection.
1930s inspired wedding dress from my Heavenly Collection


Riley Keough

Model and actress Riley Keough wed stuntman Ben Smith-Peterson in Napa Valley in Feruary. She wore a Delphine Manivet Couture gown featuring double levels of soft French lace, long sleeves with vintage-style buttons and a stunning open back. Truly lovely and very 1940s.
Riley Keogh in 1940s style full length lace wedding dress
1940s lace wedding dress & jacket, from my West London studio
1940s inspired lace wedding dress, from my Heavenly Collection
1940s inspired lace wedding dress from my Heavenly Collection


Sophie Hunter

Theatre director Sophie Hunter and actor Benedict Cumberbatch may have kept their wedding pictures under wraps, but thanks to US Vogue we got a good look at the bride's heavenly dress. The Valentino gown was Medieval-inspired with long sleeves, a high neck and formed of delicate silvery-grey lace.
Sophie Hunter in grey Valentino lace wedding dress

While I can't promise to find you an original Medieval dress (!) many 1960s styles are based on this timeless silhouette – with its flattering empire line, high neck and elegant lace sleeves. This original Priscilla of Boston 1960s wedding dress was recently sold from my collection, but do contact me if you're a fan of this beautiful look…
Original 1960s wedding dress by Priscilla of Boston, from my studio.
Detail from Priscilla of Boston 1960s wedding dress.


Sabine G

For her wedding to billionaire Joseph Getty, Lebanese–Egyptian jewellery designer Sabine G wore a wedding dress and cape by couture house Schiaparelli. The outfit was hand–embellished with no less than 500,000 sequins. A fabulous dress to end the list – and one I'm afraid I can't match. But I guess when you're marrying into the Getty family, you really need to pull out all the stops! 
Sabine G wears Schiaparelli couture wedding dress and cape with 500,000 sequins
Well, did you agree with their selection, and which is your favourite? At New Year (not so long now!) I'll be delighted to show you my own personal favourites from my real vintage brides – looking every bit as beautiful and radiant as the selection here! A happy wedding day, a room full of loved ones, a proud groom and a beautiful vintage dress – these are the things that can make every bride look as beautiful as any supermodel!
Love
Helena
Heavenly Vintage Brides

With thanks to The Daily Telegraph
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