My Ten Favorite Buy Nothing Moments

I love my Buy Nothing Group.

I know, I talk about it a lot, but I genuinely feel that being part of the Buy Nothing Project radically shifted my perception of stuff, my community, even myself. The project connects neighbors through hyper local facebook groups. The members can offer and ask for things freely. It keeps things you don't want out of landfills and keeps people from wasting money. In cities, it helps you get to know your neighbors and in small communities, it creates new bonds. It's all kinds of awesome.

Expect me to keep talking about it, because my goal is that by the end of 4 years the 280,000 members will have grown to at least 2 million. It is all about people empowering themselves, but I am just going to keep talking about it until someone in Franklin, PA starts a group already. Or you give up and ask to join yours. This could help everyone, freeing up money to make more ethical and environmentally-responsible choices, so the more of us who join, the better.

It also just makes daily life better. When I get on facebook, my news feed shows me people being kind to each other, not because of who they are, but because that is what you do. I have had so many positive interactions with my neighbors, which is way swell, and I just feel better about the universe. That is pretty big these days. I have been in this gift economy for a year and a half, and these are some of my favorite interactions:

10. Gifting our Christmas Wreath

 I bought a fresh wreath at an elementary school fundraiser mostly to make my house smell like a real Christmas tree, even though we continue to use our trusty artificial one (It will look like a used fake eyelash before we throw that bad boy away). We were headed back home for the holidays, and it felt like a shame to let the wreath go to waste, so I gifted it to a young mom looking for a few decorations for her apartment. She walked a couple miles to get it, so I honored the badassery with glass of water, and we ended up sitting and chatting for a few hours while our kids played near each other (toddlers never play together- why do people pretend?). It was an unexpected way to spend our last Christmasy afternoon in the city. Plus that gorgeous pine stink still stuck for a while.

9. Gifted Tablecloths

My brother is getting married in a few weeks, so when someone recently offered 40 wedding tablecloths, I jumped at it. Do you know just how many tablecloths that is? It was HEAVY. Hopefully the tablecloths can get washed and regifted, so they will see at least 3 couples through their wedding day.

free

8.Gifted Popping Push Toy/ Plastic Shopping Cart/ Plastic Tree House/ Plastic Wagon

I hate fresh plastic toys- so much waste for no reason! Luckily, my son still got one of those magnetic drawing boards, the shopping cart, even one of those popper toys. His plastic tree house is one of his favorites. We just got them all for free. And when we are done with them, some other kid will get them for free. At this age, they can't tell the difference between used and new, and my hope is that I am giving him a different value system. The newest, shiniest thing doesn't have intrinsically more value.  More toys does not equal more fun. We have gifted toys and been gifted toys over and over again, so at any given time his collection is at least 50% used. It saves us so much money, but more importantly, it sends him important messages about consumerism and giving (not hoarding) as a regular part of life.

7.Gifting Spruce Sap

One of the group members was looking for sap from a spruce tree. We have a spruce tree! An hour or two later, our tree was less sticky and we got to help someone with a school project. Also, I learned that spruce trees are sappy. The best kind of random.

6. Gifting Treadmill/ Gifted Crib

We kicked off healthy 2016 by giving away our treadmill (perfect sense, right?). A woman got it, and her husband and his friend loaded it in their van. In November, I was gifted a crib from the same family. My husband and his brother loaded it into our car. Just goes to show that these things come around pretty fast.

about to find more pavers. also got the bucket (originally for frosting) on BN

5. Gifting Pavers

 Our flipped yard is really just built on top of the previous yard, so every time we go to do something, we find a whole floor of pavers underneath. Lucky for us, we kicked off our summer giving away a bunch of those big rocks to people to put paths through their gardens. One mom came with her toddler and loaded so many that it made her car sit lower. One woman's super annoying rock pit is another woman's treasure.

4. Gifted Food Magazines

For one of my class projects, I need pictures of food. Lots of pictures of food. So many pictures of food. Usually, I would buy a pile of food magazines and old cookbooks to fill that need. This year, I asked my Buy Nothing, and I got so many I shouldn't have to ask again for a long time. Happy to be recycling for someone, especially when the recycling turns out this cute.

3. Gifting (and watching Gifting) for people who really need it

Our city is growing fast, but lots of people are still really struggling, and I have been awed by how many times people have stepped up to help. I have seen people rally around moms leaving domestic violence situations. I have seen 10-20 people step up when someone asks for a ride to the hospital. I have seen them drop off food to someone who can't shop. We have given our newborn clothes to a premie and our swing to an exhausted mother of twins. We have given hats and warm clothes to the homeless. We have helped the group outfit elementary school classrooms with supplies. I have watch so many people empty their cupboards to help their neighbor.

I know we have problems, but I genuinely believe, have to believe that we as Americans are fundamentally good. When faced with an individual who needs help, I have never seen the group go silent. Someone helps. Usually, at least a dozen people offer. Being a participant in this is great, but it does my soul so much good to be a witness. Because when I leave my house, even in this big city, I know how many kind people are around me.

2. Gifting a Wedding Dress

I foolishly impulse bought a wedding dress at Priscilla of Boston because they were closing and had a ridiculous clearance. In the end. I wore a different dress. This spring, a woman asked if anyone had a wedding dress to gift or lend, and I did! So it traveled with my Dad and his wife across the country for her to try on. And it looked perfect. Little did I know I bought her dress for her, but it was fate. She looks amazing.

They get married next year, so I won't post a picture, but I could not be more excited about this. So glad the dress is going to good use and honored to have helped with their day!

1. Gifted the Dining Room Table

Last October, my husband was home for a sick day, and we ended up loading our sick butts into the car, renting a van, and going to a stranger's house to pick up the table. I had thrown my hat in for the table, but he was picked, then it didn't work in his space. Not only was it a kind of fun adventure, but I am super sentimental about this table. It was another growing family's first, and now our family will grow up eating their meals around this table.

It has been a lot of work (put on pause because we found out we were pregnant soon after), but the table only cost us 15 dollars for the van rental. Compare it to the same table at Pottery Barn, we saved over 2,000 dollars. We can put that money toward a trip or adventure for our family, and when it is done, we will still have a beautiful space. I love the table and I feel so grateful to live in the kind of neighborhood where things are given so freely and happily.

That's what this is all about to me. When we are willing to share with our neighbors, we can build new bonds and reprioritize our life. It doesn't have to all be about the next thing you are going to buy, and you spend most of the time considering what you have that you can give. If you aren't in a Buy Nothing group, check out their page and join. If there isn't one where you live, let's talk about starting one. This thing can change the world and change your life!

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Wedding Wednesday- Unique, Eco-Friemdly, and Reusable Cake Topper Ideas

I love a cake topper at a wedding. Part of this is that you just can't be mad about anything cake-related. The other reason is that even if you are at the most straightforward or traditional couple, you can still show a little bit of who you are with this detail. To me, the best weddings are undeniably the couple.

Weddings are a hotbed of waste, and even these details can be pretty wasteful. Anything that you only use or see for only one day is essentially wasteful. I mean, what happens to all those cake toppers after the honeymoon? Ours, which is such a sweet piece from Lollipop Workshop (I swear it wasn't that expensive, but it probably was), lives in a little glass dome in our dining room, but I have never noticed cake toppers up in many homes.

good luck, honey. thaat's a long life ahead of you. from Pieceofcaketoppers4u

So what happens to most cake toppers? Please tell me people aren't putting those horrible ones with the bride dragging the groom up in their house somewhere. You dragged him to the wedding and now you are dragging hi though life? Poor life choices.

Rather than buying something generic, this is the perfect opportunity to buy something local or made in America. People have all kinds of amazingly creative ideas out there. Plus, if you have something in mind, I bet you can find someone to bring it to life (or make somehting yourself- you can do it!). Some etsy toppers are expensive, but many are no more than what you would buy in the store. Step one of an eco-friendly topper is to buy or make something that hasn't traveled far.

So these are my best ideas for having a cake topper that you love, that is true to you as a couple, and doesn't spend the rest of your marriage in storage somewhere. Basically, how can you make a cake topper environmentally responsible AND awesome?

from Mr and Mrs Cake Toppers

1. Use Something you Already Love 

This could be anything. Maybe you have picked up trinkets on travels or collect something together. It could be any items you own (that fit on a cake and aren't completely unsanitary), and if it is important to you already, all the better. Do you get salt shakers on vacation? Use those! Collect erotic Precious Moments figurines? Sounds memorable! Wear each other's blood in vials? Please don't put that on the cake, but you get the idea. This idea will cost you nearly no money, can bring in a little more of your real life to the big day, and they can head back to their original purpose (with a little extra honor) once you are wed.

from Ever After Products

Now, you could go two ways with this. Either, leave them as is for a perfectly cool topper, OR dress them up in marital garb to make something no one has seen before (but might not fit as well with a collection). I am obsessed with ones like these gussed up dinosaur toys or these incredibly cool personalized funko pop dolls that ight fit perfectly in some bride or groom's already existing collection (you can be on a shelf with all of your favorite characters, for goodness sake).

from goose grease

2. Pick a Topper with its Future Spot in Mind

I think it would be cool to have your topper on a bedside table, as bookends on your shelf, or as a focal point on a dining room table or mantel. If you shop with the style of your home in mind, you could see your cake topper as a reminder of your wedding everyday (also, a reminder that cake is delicious). Using it as decor in your house is way more subtle and fun than the giant wedding picture. Not that it isn't great too, but this is a different approach. I think these wood peg doll toppers would look sweet and understated as part of your decor, and they aren't so precious or delicate that you have to hide them away. Check etsy for peg toppers, because they really are great.

from Wooden Heart Buttons

My favorite store for this might be Wooden Heart Buttons- a former cake decorator got sick of the expensive plastic toppers coming through and started making toppers with eco-friendly materials specifically intended to be used as decor in your home after the big day. Check them all out- they are beautiful.

from Juniper and Ivy

The laser cut toppers with text or silhouettes are on trend right now, and they could potentially look great in a frame or shadowbox on your wall for a very long time.  If you do go that route, be careful to pick something that is timelessly YOU. The "eat me" toppers are cute, but do you want that on your wall? Also, I'd go wood over plastic- it will look better in most cases (and you can more easily adjust it to fit in a frame)..

from Life Ephemera

3. Look for a Vintage Gem

 Are you a heterosexual Aryan couple that enjoys the good old days? There are already tons of little porcelain white people waiting for you. It doesn't have to be as vanilla as these people, and you can use vintage items to save money and minimize your wedding's footprint. You can get a basic vintage wedding topper for 10-15 dollars. Cheaper than the basic cake toppers available at Walmart, and it's that much less plastic being purchased. Some of these have more personality than others, but it can be a fun and eye-catching option.

from Protector of Vintage

This couple is really committed... to their eyebrows.

from Bean Jean Julie

These two look too old and too young at once- what state allows ancient babies to marry?

from Design Room 3

Love this one. They look like they want to kiss, but just can't figure out what to do next.

Jokes aside, if you are having a wedding with vintage flair, why not poke around and get something that is actually vintage?You can find all sorts of figurines and save the world from ne more object just sitting in an attic somewhere.

from bridal guide

4. Get Something that can have a New Life after the Wedding

 My brother-in-law and sister-in-law had a lego cake topper. They also have a basement full of legos. The topper was true to them, for sure. If you aren't ridiculously sentimental like I am, you can get a cake topper like this that you can actually take apart and use again! If you have kids, toys make a lot of sense. If you are handy, could you use tools? Good in the kitchen? How about a salt and pepper set you can use? It just has to have some use value once you are in your new normal life.

from uncorked and unrewined

5.  Recycled Toppers

 If you can't think of something with a practical life after the wedding, why not get a topper that had a life before? It is a wonderful world. Don't believe me? Look up "recycled cake toppers" on Etsy. Maybe some won't be your style, but one could be exactly right. They take trash and turn it into something you will treasure for the rest of your life. That's pretty cool. Can't find the perfect thing? You could also make it yourself! Get inspired and you can really put yourself out there.

from The Lost Key

I want to go to this steampunk wedding. And 40 dollars? That's a steal from The Lost Key.

from Ready Go

Ready Go makes cake toppers out of recycled cardstock. They are simple and lovely, and you could totally frame it afterward (recycled and reused? You win!). I do love their simplicity, and I think they look sweet without being saccharine or boring. You can also add children for blended families and even get personalized coloring book pages.

from wedding chicks

6. Just Skip It Completely

You know what cake without a topper is? Cake, so it is still the best thing ever, If tracking down the perfect topper seems like a waste of time or money to you, then just don't have one! And feel glad you are getting married at a time where almost every tradition is flexible. Never waste energy or money on the junk you don't care about, because why even throw the party if you aren't enjoying it?

Will I miss the topper? Yes, but there will still be cake. So I will still be happy.

Want more eco-friendly wedding ideas? I have TONS of them! You can make your wedding environmentally responsible by reducing waste, minimizing purchases, and buying items that have life beyond that big day.

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Vintage Bride Carlye's Tips for a Wonderful Wedding.

Dear Reader, 
Today, we have the last of Carlye's wonderful posts: her tips for future brides...

1. Make sure your day reflects you as an individual and as a couple! Don't do anything because someone else wants you to or because it's what your 'supposed to do'! You and your guests will have a far better time knowing all those big and tiny details reflect you both! 

2. Make sure you have a way of collecting photos in one place such as a website, Instagram etc so you don't miss a moment.
3. Ensure you have an idea of what type of photos you want and who you want in them but also give a bit of time for guest to ask your photographer to take pictures of them so you don't miss a vital group or couple which you may forget in your own personal list! That way you have everyone covered! 
4. Shop around for what you want and stay within your budget. Don't settle for anything less on the big things like your dress, venue, food, photographer if you can – as these are what will make your day! 
5. It's worth spending a bit more on your photographer as this is your record for years to come! Get the best for your budget! 
6. And once you both know what you want, ask family and friends to help where they can. They'll be happy to do it as a wedding present. This will allow everyone to be included and  adds that personal touch, while saving you time and money. 
7. Only invite who you really want and who know you both. Don't feel obliged to invite people's other halves or someone from work or someone you don't know every well. This can be tricky but ultimately it will save you money and ensure you only have your nearest and dearest! Just ask yourself: will we still see each other in 3 ,5, 10 years time? We had everyone we wanted and it felt so much more intimate! 
8. Try not to stress and worry. Ensure you enjoy your day as much as possible. Things may not exactly go to plan but make the best of things – it's your big day and it's never gonna come round again! 
9. Try to see everyone and do everything you planned to get the most from it. But it's important to accept this isn't always possible – and that's ok as long as everyone else enjoyed it! 
10. Try not to be too precious about your dress. Just enjoy it. Don't be afraid to move or eat or dance! It's there to make you look beautiful but for you to also enjoy your day as well. If there's a hiccup – mine got stood on and I caught my sleeve – it can be fixed. Don't panic! 
11. Remember your day is about you both most of all, about enjoying yourself with friends and  family! Capture moments and make memories for years to come. That way, when you're old and wrinkly you can smile and enjoy looking back! 

Thanks so much Carlye – for sharing your brilliant day and all your wisdom. 
Readers... what a girl! 
Love
Helena
Heavenly Vintage Brides

For a snapshot of more gorgeous Real Vintage Brides, 
check out my website page here...

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Kind Words from Make-Up Artist Omie!

Dear Reader,
I hope you'll forgive me for a brief moment of trumpet-blowing, but I recently found this lovely article online. I discovered it completely by chance and was so pleased!

I died and went to Vintage Heaven 

"Yesterday I had my first taste of vintage bridal heaven. I got on the train and made my way to London to meet with top vintage wedding dress expert, in my opinion, and all round super cool lady, Helena. Helena runs Heavenly Vintage Brides from her beautiful home situated just outside of central London.

 

Since being presented with my stunning 1930’s engagement ring and the loveliest proposal from Michael, my thoughts have been in over drive about wedding dresses. After all, it is the most important dress I am going to wear in my life. So since Christmas, yes that soon, I have been scouring the internet for small companies who deal in vintage bridal dresses. In truth I had been somewhat disappointed  by the lack of vintage dresses on offer. I found myself presented with many bigger companies who sell vintage inspired dresses and vintage looking dresses, but none the less these are new frocks. I love the idea of a slight imperfection on the hem, a button that needs re sewing and a hue in the fabric that can only be described as love. The thing with vintage is that the quality and mastery that goes into making a dress cant be matched. I have never thought of buying a new wedding dress and I think there is something very romantic about marrying in a dress that someone else married in, perhaps several people in some cases. It kind of feels like passing the love down and I like that notion. 

After a few hours of scouring you can imagine my excitement when I came across Helena’s website which just drew me in from the start. Just to add I do buy new clothes. I would love to say my wardrobe is all vintage pieces but that would be a lie. I love new clothes as well and every so often, when I can afford to, I treat myself to a designer piece. Often something from Vivienne Westwood or Marc Jacobs. I am quite clever when it comes to shopping so I will buy designer pieces in the sales when they are half the price. I look for the shape and the cut of the fabric. It needs to stand the test of time and suit my body shape in a flattering way. No one cuts fabric like Vivienne so I see it as an investment. 

So, back to my trip to London. I arrived at Helena’s an hour late. Fashionably? Id like to say so but it was actually due to the fact that I am terrible on London’s underground and waited at the wrong platform for my second train. Helena kindly met me from the train station and I was taken upstairs to her beautifully decorated and dressed room where the magic happens. I honesty felt so happy and excited when I saw her collection of vintage bridal dresses, and these were proper vintage. I like proper.

 

Helena explained everything to me about the process of picking out the dresses, trying them on and how she would help me find what suited my shape and the look I am after. It quickly became very clear that Helena’s knowledge was excellent. She really knows her dresses and designers. I listened tentatively when she told me the history of each dress; where it had come from, who designed it and the decade it was born. Helena has dresses from all decades and I was ecstatic when I saw the sizeable 1960’s section on the beautifully laid out rail. 

 

I don’t want to ramble on about trying on the dresses, unless anyone wants to know in which case please post me some questions. All I would like to say is that is was brilliant, from arrival to the end. In fact, I cant wait to go back. The Earl Grey in the vintage tea cup and the chit chat about Helena’s past career working at Vidal Sassoon was the icing on the cake. 

I have narrowed it down to 4 dresses, I think. Being a typical Libra I am sure I will change my mind several times and no doubt return to my first choice. I have a couple more appointments with vintage bridal dress specialists which I will post about in the near future. 

If anyone is thinking of having a vintage wedding dress I would strongly recommend Heavenly Vintage Brides and contacting Helena."

 

Shucks, too kind! The author was a client of mine earlier this year, and is a make-up artist who does lovely work for brides. You can see her own blog here. Thanks, Omie.

And thanks dear reader for putting up with my shameless showing-off. That's quite enough about me, I promise… back to gorgeous brides and heavenly dresses later this week!

Love
Helena
Heavenly Vintage Brides

If you like this post, try
MY GUIDE TO 1960s WEDDING DRESSES

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Wedding Wednesday- Tips for getting Fit for your Wedding (especially if you aren't the kind of person who generally cares)

I am not going to say I am expert on this- clearly I am not. But over the last 3 years I have lost a good chunk of weight in a very slow way. Now, in preparation for the wedding, the Fancy has put us on a pretty strict diet plan and I push us on the Zumba.

I think the wanting to feel on top of your body for this makes sense to a certain extent, and it kind of annoys me that people constantly tell other getting married to not try for this at all. If nothing else, the transition gives you the opportunity to look at how you are living your life and what you can do better. I think it is a good thing. And if exerting more effort in any exercisey/ foody direction makes you feel better or at least more in control of the whole making a spectacle of yourself thing, then that seems fine to me too. We have taken advantage of the whole- this is the payoff structure to actually try, which is new, and has mixed results that generally I feel good about. So that's that.We are not sporty/outdoorsy/ particularly showy people, but we both have watched parents struggle with weight, and I know I don't want this to be a continuing narrative for the rest of my life. I at least want to understand it. 

Now that I am a little bit less than a month out, and honestly I think we will let up rather than bear down (people, it gets stressful at the end!) I thought I would give the tips that actually worked for us.

1. Learn to Pay Attention- A few months ago I signed up for Livestrong, and diet-wise, it is the best thing I ever did. I force myself to be totally honest on there, and it makes me so much more aware of how I eat. I like to sneak things, snack a little, but those things build up. By writing it all down, I really became aware of how much I was getting in my own way. It was a big paradigm shift. It also helped me shake off pop, hopefully forever, because I realized even the diet stuff sucked away my daily allowances for things. It is not worth it. I would say if you want to lose weight, start on a program like that, and there are many of them. The best you can do is set a standard for yourself and then be honest.

2. Find Something Exercisey that Isn't Too Horrible, and then Do It until it gets Horrible- Ugh, did I mention I also hate exercising? I like group classes, I don't mind aerobic-y stuff, but I hate to run, bike, etc. I find it all so boring. I need something that is changing to keep my brain busy so I am not just thinking "Man I Hate Exercise." I would highly recommend switching up what you do, but never doing nothing. One day might just be a simple walk with the fancy, but once you make it part of your routine, you just know you can't go to bed having done nothing.

3. Give Yourself Lots of Time, and Just Make Little Changes- This one is HUGE. Honestly, I have never dieted, but I know those things don't last. You know what is a good decision and what is a bad decision, and those should shift over time. A year ago I would have thought we were doing perfectly well if I had 2 cups of juice and pasta. Now, that would be a borderline bad day. There are definitely things we do now (tonight we got pizza and salad) that may not cut it a year from now. You are not a crazy actress on a microbiotic diet. Just start identifying 1 thing you could do better and do it. Build up momentum, but you should never be taking huge leaps. It's like that with exercise too. Even if you only do a little bit, it is better than doing nothing.

4.Fish- I love fish and seafood and it is super good for you. And it is not chicken. Chicken is so boring.  And it can be easier to get good information on what is most ethical to eat. It is also often one of the best healthy options on any menu. I realize this is more convenient in California than elsewhere, but the key is finding foods you love that are still good for you.

5. Buy a Dress You Already Love on Yourself- Ugh, how many times I stood in the bridal salon and thought "well maybe my stomach will be flat by then!" We are a month and change out. I still have my faithful companion the pooch. It is never going away. And even if it did, if I had worn the dress that was tight to my stomach, I would have thought every bunch of fabric was my chubby middle. It's not, but it is where I feel less secure. I do not want to play those games with myself. It's another one of those things, where you have to feel beautiful from the get, and everything else is bonus. No bargaining, or hoping, or starving. That's it.

6. Practice Making an Effort to Look Pretty- Like I said in an earlier blog, I am not the girl who generally cares about this stuff, but honestly I have enjoyed learning more about it as I get into wedding stuff. Take steps that make you feel good about how you look, whether it be wearing your favorite outfit or trying new makeup. You have to figure out how you already feel good about yourself, and focus on that stuff. This isn't about figuring out how to "fix" anything, but just actively making the decision to notice the things you like about yourself and focus on those things. That good feeling, rather than the blergy feeling I mostly feel when I look at myself, pushes me forward and motivates me to keep trying.

I feel like this one is really important, but there is no way to talk about it that isn't riddled with platitudes. In general, we are always willing to treat other people with love, to understand their beauty as being enhanced and nuanced by things they might perceive as flaws. I feel like we can accept the uniqueness of other's attractiveness easily because we look at a lot of people, so variety makes sense and feels good. On the other hand, we are stuck with ourselves, and that intimacy seems to more easily push us to just see good old flaws. We want ourselves to be everything, and no one is that way. If you are going to decide to commit to getting healthy, exercising, whatever, you pretty much have to commit to appreciating all the good stuff that is already there, because if you can't do that you will go crazy. It will never be enough. You owe yourself moments where you feel great and unique and beautiful and whatever else you are already. This isn't lady-centric either.  It doesn't have to be the center of your universe, but the more you can connect with that confidence, the less it has to be.

7. Every Day is a New One, Just Try to Do Better- You are going to mess up. Everytime we go home, I am sure this is the time we will actually be good. Then we get to my in-laws house and they have the best bread in the world. And I go out to dinner with my Dad, and just can't skip the Calimari. Or we decide on a whim to have a late night date and get drinks and dessert. I do my best not to feel too guilty about these moments. The next day will be better. Or we will skip out on Zumba 10 minutes in because we are just sick of Beto (this happened last night). Tonight, we will do better.

8. Don't Deprive Yourself, Because Getting Married Is Crazy Enough- Have your carbs at lunch. When you really want to have whatever that thing is you love, just have it. Who cares. If you are working harder on exercise, you won't self-sabotauge in the same way, because it is like throwing all your work away. But, for goodness sake, somedays planning a wedding is stressful, and if you are a stress eater (like I am) some days it is better to just give yourself a break. Not to mention, going crazy takes away the fun of the whole event, and if you aren't having fun, what exactly is the point? You can slave that weight off, but it won't make you all that much happier in the end. Choose your battles, and if you are feeling totally miserable, honest to goodness, you are pushing too hard. You can slowly move toward what you want, and you are so much likelier to stick with it. If you make yourself crabby, crazy, or (the worst) mean, you have accomplished nothing. F You Kate Moss, plenty of things taste better than skinny feels.

9. Fall in love with fruit- Fruit is the best. It is delicious and sweet and wonderful. In the summer it is even not all that expensive. You know what else is great? Zucchini! You can put it in like anything and then pat yourself on the back for eating healthy-ish. Look, you can eat a million kiwis and it will never be as good as cake. But if you eat 3 kiwis first, you may want less cake. At least that is how it has worked for me. I eat a pretty steady stream of sweets from fruit to try to keep my sweet tooth satisfied. Plus, then maybe you can avoid all the freaking greek yogurt and granola that every health website will try to talk you into.

10. And this is the Best Advice Ever... DRINK WATER- Everything will tell you to do this, but for good reason! I used to be the kind of person who would pass out from dehydration before I would drink water (no seriously, I did that). I loved clear pop, juice, really anything with sugar at its heart. I have weened myself off pop over the course of 2 years (I don't even have it at restaurants anymore, which was the rule for a long time). Now I have juice if we go out for brunch or something, but there is none in the house! Tasty crutches are all removed! Now, with the help of a cute Livestrong animation that congratulates me when I have 8 glasses, I down at least 6 to 10 glasses a day. It still tastes like nothing. It still is in no way a pleasure, but it isn't horrible. And my skin looks so so so so much better. No lie. If all it did was clear/ brighten up my skin it would be worth it. And the water fills me up so I don't feel as snacky. Everything will tell you this as its advice, but trust it. They are not wrong. Just cutting the pop business might be enough to help you lose that little bit of weight that makes you feel better and you can happily gain back once you are a married woman.

Anyway, this is my advice, which is not ground-breaking, but svelting up has been a part of wedding prep, and I have learned a lot from it as it has gone on. I think the biggest testament as this goes on is that as much as we talk about eating all cake diets once we are married, we both admitted today that we don't really want to go back completely. But then again, I so do! I am proud of us for sticking with it, which is probably a good long term skill to have in your arsenal. I am mostly happy that we are getting to the parts that are celebrations, and I don't want to be the bride just eating lettuce. Nobody should be that girl! The only thing worse than water is lettuce!

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