Wedding Wednesday- Eco-Friendly Wedding Guest Wear

In your early 20's, it still feels weird to go to friends' weddings. 

By your mid-20's, it is an established part of your summer routine. Most of us even get into those binds where we are invited to more than one in a weekend. 

By the end of your 20's, you are a pro, and you could probably fill your Saturdays watching people get hitched. 

Wedding Guesting is an art all its own, and it can become a big part of life (and your budget). We may spend most wedding talk on issues of planning, but most of us will go to more weddings as a guest than a participant (unless we are a real badass), so it might be worth it to figure out how to do it well (find that drunken shenanigan line- yes to dancing, no to anything you wouldn't want a professional photographer present for), how to do it with style, and even how to do it in an eco-friendly way. 

I love going to a wedding- how many events do you get to go to where you just get to be excited for someone else, eat cake, and get dressed up? I just like when good things happen to people, and weddings are usually (but not always) really good things. The weddings in our life have picked up from year to year, though this year we are in a lull, and we had to miss a few people we really love due to travel and pregnancy-related limitations (before this year, we always tried to make it, and I think we were only thwarted once due to a nasty case of viral exanthems- sorry Kate!). I would like to believe we have gotten pretty good at guesting, at least as good as we can while still being super awkward dorks. These are the key responsibilities as I see them: 

1. Have a Good Time- Someone spent a bunch of money trying to make this party a good time. So get on board whatever ship they are sailing. Dance even if the dj is not the greatest (or prioritizes taking selfies). Participate in the activity, even if it is dorky. Make small talk even if you truly are the worst at it. You are a collaborator in the good time, so get in there and have fun like it is your job. 

2. Get a Good Gift- A gift's value can come from a lot of things, but gifting is my love language, so I take it very seriously. MORE HERE. 

3. Don't Look a Hot Mess- Don't be the guest they are trying to crop out of pictures. This is a wedding; no camo shorts, nipples, or super fashion moments are needed (these are all things I have seen while a guest). The bride and groom probably indicated to you the level of formality and the general style of the wedding (often the colors too) in the invite. Don't try to dress like a bridesmaid, but you can try to get in the spirit of the event with your clothes. 

But here is the problem. If you are going to be a professional wedding guest, that adds up to a lot of travel, a lot of gifting, and a lot of merriment. It also means you are dressing up A LOT. 

You can green your gifting by seeking out the green items on their registry, giving them honeymoon money, or by doing simple substitutions by using the Made in America and Eco-Friendly Wedding Registry, 

It turns out you can turn your many fashion moments into productive and eco-friendly purchases as well. Let's go through it by formality. Not that I actually understand the different formality levels, because they are impossible, and we are a generation of ragamuffins. I'll split by gender too, but obviously you should ride the line or do whatever makes sense for you. Just gathering resources.

Formal (white tie) and Semi-Formal (black tie)

For Guys-  Rent a Tuxedo! If you think you have enough black tie events in your future, buying one might make sense. Even mainstream stores like Men's Wearhouse have their USA- made selections obviously marked. I saw a few on Nordstrom as well, but they are so expensive! How many times would you have to rent before it is cheaper to buy? Sharing/ renting makes sense to me for your average guy.

For Ladies- I have always hated that men can rent a tux and women are supposed to shell out so much money for a dress. It's not that way anymore! I am all about Rent the Runway, where you can rent formal dresses I know I could never afford. It gives you the chance to switch up your look, and it is more environmentally-friendly than all of us having some formal dresses just collecting dust in our closets. You can get dresses at every level of formality (starting as low as 30 bucks), but it makes the most sense when you are headed to a black tie wedding, because, really, when are you reusing that gown?

If your answer is "all the time, B," you are in luck. Certain designers of more formal dresses- Nicole Miller, Zac Posen, Jason Wu, Jennifer Kroll - have already pledged to make (at least some of) their dresses in the United States. Nordstrom has 46 options for made in America formal dresses. You can even try Amazon (just read the description before you buy. They love "or imported" in the descriptions). Anthropologie sells one line of Made in America dresses that would work for bridesmaids or guests. I tried to aim on the simple side, because you can always switch up the style around it, but that is my best tip- go classic in a simple color, and you might get more years of life out of the dress. 

Informal (Suit and Cocktail Dress)

For Guys- Most men (but not all, so self-assess don't sweat it if this isn't you) should probably own at least two suits: a grey or black one and a navy one. The nice thing for dudes is they can buy one or two really well-made suits, and then wear them forever. It's kind of this blog's dream for all people, regardless of their gender. Most suits aren't cheap, but a good one can last you so long that you really get your money's worth. 

I know Men's Wearhouse carries a brand Joseph Abboud that are sewn in the United States, so you can go pretty basic and still buy something ethical with minimal negative impact. Their dress pants are even on sale, so it can have minimal pocket impact as well. Nordstrom has a whole section of Made in America suits as well, though I cannot imagine ever being rich enough to spend that kind of money. 

I don't have much advice on men's fashion, but I do HIGHLY recommend the American List on the Continuous Lean. They have a massive list of American-made fashion and gear for men. We have had great luck with everything they have recommended. 

For Ladies- First, a lot of the answers for a great cocktail dress are the same- check out Rent the Runway, you might be surprised by their 1127 options. I think I will do this next time, because the dresses look so beautiful and at least at this moment, my body is always in flux, so purchasing something doesn't make a ton of sense. 

Lots of cocktail dresses are made domestically, so if you do want to buy, you can support slow fashion, the American worker, and shrinking the fossil fuel consumption that plagues uneccessary imports. Nordstrom has 400+ made in America options. Amazon has hundreds as well. You can also find beautiful cocktail dresses made by American designers like Nanette Lepore or (my favorite) Eva Franco. (you can also shop for both of their stuff on Anthropologie). You could also browse Modcloth's Made in America pages.  Lastly, try Shabby Apple- this American brand sells gorgeous dresses that would work perfectly for weddings and cocktail events. 

Casual (everything else)

For Guys- My husband would probably still wear a suit, but for most guys, a few button ups and some trusted dress pants are all you need to survive those less formal weddings. Use what you already have and invest in pieces that will last you. My advice? Look for some button ups on The American List from A Continuous Lean. It may cost more at first, but get something classic and it should last you longer. For neckties, I recommend used or something from The General Knot Co or The Hillside.

For Ladies- If you are in a sundress situation, your first good bet is to check your own closet or favorite consignment store. There are plenty of sundresses out in the world, so you are likely to find something great without looking far. If  you are feeling like you need something special, try checking out Shabby Apple, Modcloth, or Nordstrom. Try a new consignment store, borrow from friends, Thred Up, or even Rent the Runway. You can get something amazing for 30 bucks, for goodness sakes! 

Prioritize getting things used, and if not used, made in America. Stop buying things that are ok, and only shell out for dresses you love enough to keep wearing! Bonus points if you can dress it up or down to get more use out of it. I also think doing separates might get you more bang for your buck- you can use different combinations on those wedding-saturated summers. You have so many options, there is no reason to spend money on a dress that was unethically-made and wastes fossil fuels.

A few other Green Habits for weddings-

Turn down the plastic straw or stirrer. You can't stop the train from rolling, but you can get off. They will last a teensy bit longer.

Give an eco-friendly gift. Check the registry, but a few switches might make the whole thing way more environmentally-kind. Consider who you are shopping for, but this may be a good choice. Or buying a "giftless" gift, like movie tickets or a gift card for a museum, might be the perfect gift. Get your card from a foundation like the Arbor Day Foundation. Wrap it in something recycled.

Recycle your program. 

Good luck, guesties! If you need some inspiration for gifts, be sure to check out The Made in America and Eco-Friendly Wedding Registry. If you want more general shopping inspiration, try The Giant List of Shopping Lists. 

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Wedding Wednesday- Where to Donate your Wedding Dress

taken by first blush photos

Whether you got married 3 weeks ago or 30 years ago, you may very well still have your dress sitting in a closet somewhere. This is one of those things that tends to get carried from house to house. Some of us have a lot of emotional attachment to the dress. Some of us have hopes that a family member will want to wear it someday (though I think if you got married during the age of super synthetic dresses, the odds are low). Some of us just don't know how to get rid of it, because throwing it out feels wrong.

Wedding dresses are a pretty environmentally tricky purchase- you spend a lot of money on something that will only be used once. I know I looked at lots of used dresses, but never had the nerve to buy one that way. Now, I think I might have gone about it differently. I did end up with a dress I loved, but in the end, I am not sure it made that huge of a difference.

This blog covers a lot of territory on shopping more ethically, but one of the most eco-friendly things you can do is to have less and to get rid of things in an ethical way. Sure, maybe someday your daughter will want to wear your wedding dress (she won't) but in that time, that dress could have lived multiple lives or multiple weddings. In an ideal world, we would all be way more willing to let things go, because the more used stuff is out there, the more we can all invest in secondhand instead of more brand new stuff that will land in a landfill.

So, the question becomes, where can you offload that wedding dress?

First, you could sell it online for yourself, make a little money back, and help out another bride. Here are some options:

Once Wed was my favorite place to browse dresses, and I think you can resell decor as well. Honestly, if I could do it all again, I would probably buy a dress from here.

Preowned Wedding Dresses is probably the most commonly used, though I tried to sell a dress on here and it never worked out. Still, if you have a recent dress that someone can still go to the store and try on, you might have a lot more luck than I did.

Second, you could donate it to an organization that will sell it secondhand to help make them money (my favorite idea, but you do you). Some ideas:

Adorned in Grace, based in Northern Oregon and Southern Washington, sells bridal and formal wear (so maybe somewhere to donate all those bridesmaid dresses?) to raise money to help women once caught in human trafficking and to raise awareness of the epically huge problem. Pretty awesome cause if you ask me. Your dress gets a second life, AND you get to help other women. So cool. I think I will send a few old prom and bridesmaid dresses their way.

Angel Gowns breaks your heart and makes you feel better about the universe at the same time. These organizations take donated wedding gowns and turn them into dresses for stillborn babies or babies that pass away. If your dress is older and you don't think some of the other organizations would want them, look into the multiple angel gown organizations to give a special gift to parents going through something truly awful.

Brides Across America is incredibly cool because it doesn't sell your dress, it gives it away to a military bride planning their wedding (a big challenge when your fiance is serving far away). This charity has given away wedding gowns to 12,000  brides in events all over the country. What a cool way to say thank you. They only accept dresses five years old or younger, so stop wringing your hands and go for it already.

The Bridal Garden- If you are shopping or donating in the New York City area (looking at you, Kleinfeld shoppers), the Bridal Garden sells wedding dresses to benefit underserved children in the New York area. Give them your dress or start your shopping there instead of the big salons.

Brides for a Cause is a huge and very successful consignment salon that sells their dresses "for charity" It felt a little vague to me (ok, a cause, but which one?), but they do donate to Brides Across America right now, so you are still contributing to a very positive mission by donating your dress to them. I love it.

Brides for Haiti sells your dresses to raise money for Saint Joseph's Parish's charitable work in Haiti. Looks a little trickier in terms of shipping, but otherwise great!

The Brides Project in Toronto sells the donated dresses with the profits all going to cancer charities; this store has already put 600,000 dollars into cancer charities! That's awesome!

Success in Style is a Baltimore-based organization that gives out of work individuals wardrobes to help in their business lives. They have a consignment store to fund their mission, and now they accept wedding gowns for their wedding consignment store Cherie Amor.

Wish Upon a Wedding gifts weddings and vow renewals to men and women (regardless of sexual orientation, which I think is especially important) suffering from terminal illnesses. I am looking around, and I am not positive they still accept dresses, but if you can't donate your dress, you could still sell it and donate the proceeds.

I know I have a dress I bought on super clearance panic(like 70% off?) that has been sitting in a closet since 2012. I am offering it on Buy Nothing, but if there aren't any bites, it is moving on to one of these charities. I am not sure if I am ready to have my wedding dress see the same fate, but I am seriously thinking about it.

When you see all these things your dress can do, it seems like it is really underperforming in your closet, right? I know I struggle with the idea of parting with my dress, and I don't know if I will muster the courage or not, but the more dresses get multiple uses (and do all these wonderful things for people who need them) the better for everyone.

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This is my day, by Vintage Bride Carlye

Dear Reader,
Welcome to Part Two of Carlye's takeover. Today, our gorgeous bride is going to whizz us through her fabulous vintage–inspired day.…

Well, readers, this is my day, my experience – and my advice for you! 
Jase and I met almost eleven years ago at Uni in Swansea, aged just 19. Eight years later, we were living together in London when he took me on a surprise holiday to Venice – and proposed. 


In the next three years, while we established our careers, we went to so many friends' weddings that by the time we tied the knot this summer we had a really good idea of what we wanted our own big day to look like. 

The most important thing for us was that the day had to reflect us as individuals and as a couple. Everything we chose was personal and meaningful to us. And although there were lots of themes going on, everyone understood those details were a reflection of us.

We also wanted to be respectful of the traditions of marriage but not necessarily follow everything if we didn't feel it was right for us. We wanted things to be a bit more friendly, easygoing and informal, just like us! 

As soon as we were engaged, we chose Devon for our wedding as that's where Jase is from. We spent many summers there as students, and decided on our favourite village, Cockington: the most charming place with its thatched cottages and the best tea room.

I really wanted the wedding to reflect my love of all things vintage! I love the 1950s for its elegance and glamour, and the 1960s for its colours and simple style. So I chose a 1960s look for me and 1950s for my bridesmaids. Then we asked everyone to come in their own interpretation of 50s or 60s style. And I must say – though I'm a bit biased – everyone looked stunning! 

To get everyone in the vintage mood, we played a range of vintage music – everything from a 20s charleston to swinging 60s pop. We had a vintage London bus, an old fashioned Post Box for all our cards... even a vintage taxi cab for a photo–booth! 

My bouquet was also made to be similar to my nan's who got married in the late 50s. She loved that I wanted the same! 

My bridesmaids love a bit of vintage too, but are more contemporary in style than me. So we chose a modern dress with a vintage feel: with a halter neck, laced bodice and flared skirt. Then we added a pinny and peep toe shoes for that cute 50s housewife look (we even used the pinny fabric to create extra–special shoe laces!)

My engagement ring is a gold Panther sitting proudly on a branch – inspired by the famous Wallis Simpson Panther Brooch. I definitely wanted something different, so Jase had 'Charlie' (as my panther is now known!) made specially for me. I wanted a branch style ring for my wedding band, and found the perfect one at Alex Monroe. Jase even found a branch style on etsy so we match! 

Jase is a typical big kid, and works in computer–generated special effects. He loves computer games, specially a Japanese series called Final Fantasy. He chose a character that represented us, (for those in the know this was Squall and Aeris!) so we had models of them by the cake. The game also has a classical musical score so I walked down the aisle to 'Aeris' Theme' played by the organist!

We wanted an informal, summery theme and chose Italian to represent our engagement. We kept it simple and rustic – with an Italian menu, prosecco, and a dining room decorated with olive trees and herbs for fragrance. We even put up some of my sister's photographs of Venice. 

We wanted our family involved as much as possible, so we had lots of help with our cake, flowers, stationery, favours and decorations. It made things that extra special. (We had lots of people to thank!)  And both of our families are big cat lovers so our tables were named after all our family cats, past and present.

Our final theme was The Owl & and The Pussycat as Jase had given me a canvas of one of my favourite children's book illustrations from the 60s by Dale Maxey. We used it as part of our invitations (Jase's brother is an illustrator andd designed all our stationery) and decorated the bar area with this theme.

We then tied it all together with the vintage theme in our beautiful tea room: lots of bunting, vintage fabrics and proper cups & saucers – and all beautifully decorated by my mum & sister. 

Our venue was so perfect: Colehayes Park, a stunning Georgian Manor House with dormitory style rooms and beautiful gardens. It's basically a giant holiday home so we rented this for a week and we were allowed to do what we wanted. We weren't restricted to use particular people and that really helped as we were able to add our personal taste to the place, within our budget! 

We wanted the house to speak for itself so we mainly used flowers as its so beautiful & Jase' mum lovely filled the house! We loved that we could invite most people to stay with us & we loved that we had the place to ourselves so it was more informal. We only had a handful of people to help with serving food and drinks. 

We had a great time all helping to set up the venue at the beginning of the week, so we had just close friends and family with us. Most guests arrived the night before, and we all went out for a meal to break the ice. 

On the big day, I was so excited as unfortunately I had been very very poorly in the week up to the wedding (I honestly thought I was going to have to go to hospital) but I woke up feeling great! I ran round the house shouting 'I'm getting married today.' It was great to have friends and family staying with us, all getting ready together! 

The hair and make up team were calm, friendly and fabulous. They got the look perfect and though I still looked quite poorly, they worked a miracle! I loved my Priscilla Presley inspired look! 

My bridesmaids looked so cute with their 50's curls & flower in their hair & I loved their pines! I chose the Liberty print as I love their fabrics & also worked there when I first lived in London after uni! 

The vintage bus was a great surprise for everyone. We all headed to Cockington at a thatched cottage pub a short walk from the church. It was a great opportunity for everyone to meet and greet, calm their nerves or toast the day! It was relaxed and friendly, exactly as we hoped and the best start to the day! I just wish I had been there but I was still getting ready...

It was great to travel together with my mum & sister! Mum had hired a VW campervan to take us to the church – a great surprise – I loved it so much! We did get stuck in traffic and arrive quite late. Poor Jase! 

My mum walked me down the aisle and it was great to have her by my side! 

Afterwards, guests made a beautiful arch outside the church for us to walk through & I had brought everyone a vintage wedding wand by Ginger Ray as an alternative to confetti & was another fun keepsake. 

I actually first brought them the year before, for a best friend's hen do (we were each other's bridesmaid). They were such a hit, she asked if I could bring them to her wedding too! 

Everyone then got back on the bus to the venue. The weather was perfect and so we all enjoyed drinks in the garden before our Italian summer feast by the excellent Dartmoor Kitchens.

We had the speeches before we ate so the very nervous speakers could get this out the way and then relax. They were the most unprepared speeches but also the most spontaneous, funny and heartfelt! Jase's brothers were great – each said a little bit about growing up together, looking up to each other and welcoming me into the family. My sister and grandfather made a speech on my family's side and talked about bring our families together. Everyone was laughing and crying! There wasn't a dry eye in the room! 

The food was perfect. My very clever Auntie and godmother made my cake. I just said I wanted a vintage feel so bless her, already a gifted cook, she went on a course and made lace icing! It looked stunning and tasted delicious! 

We then made things flexible for everyone. Those who wanted cake and a cup of tea could enjoy the vintage tearoom, others could enjoy the bar or the chillout in the Lounge, or take a stroll in the garden before the party got started. 

The tearoom was a great hit with lots of specialist teas including Wedding Breakfast tea from Fortnum & Mason (one of my favourite places) and lots of homemade cakes from a family friend as well as the wedding cake.

We wanted people to feel at home and come and go through the different rooms as they please. We were so lucky that our venue allowed us to do this. I really feel Colehayes is a very special place. The owners are great too – I would highly recommend!

We then opened the dance floor and photo booth. We also had the fabulous Pizza Buona to keep hunger at bay with their made to order stone bake pizzas! Our final salute to our love of Italy! 

Everyone enjoyed themselves until the wee small hours and it was great that most people stayed so no one had to worry about getting home or finishing at a particular time! At midnight, we had an open bar and kept the tearoom going. And we had the added bonus of a basement for our after–party, so the young at heart still had a place to keep dancing but those with tired party feet could also retire upstairs! 

We wanted something for everyone but also still true to us and I think we achieved this. I had the most amazing day and was so overwhelmed to have everyone we know and love in one place.

I also love how everyone's memories, stories and photos help you capture your big day in a way you couldn't imagine. You truly feel very lucky and happy. There are still new moments and stories coming out and I hope that continues for years to come! 

So here's to all Helena's vintage brides – past, present & future! Have a very Happy Wedding Day and may your Heavenly Vintage Wedding Dress bring you lots of love, luck & happiness now and always!

Thanks for letting me share my big day with you! 
Lots of Love 
Mrs. Carlye McCloy-Brown 

For a snapshot of more Real Vintage Brides,
check out my website page here...

Photographs with thanks to Alice of The Vintage Wedding Photographer 

Bride's dress: Original 1960s lace wedding dress – Heavenly Vintage Brides of course!
Bride's Shoes: 1960s Vintage Lace from Candy Says
Bride's Underwear: M&S
Bridesmaids' dresses: Chi Chi London
Bridesmaids' shoes: Mojo Moxy 
Bride's Hair & Make Up: Claire & Rebecca of The Popup Salon
Photo Booth: Alfie the Black Taxi Cab Booth
Groom's Suit: Ben Sherman Tailoring
Shoes: Kurt Geiger 
Best Men Suits: Topshop
Bridesmaid's Pinnies, Ushers / Best Men / Groom Cravats & Pocket: Liberty Art Fabric
Stationery: Groom's brother Danny Deeptown 
Meet & Greet: The Drum Inn, Cockington 
Wedding Ceremony: St George & St David's Church, Cockington, Devon
Wedding Reception: Colehayes Park, Bovey Tracey
Caterers: Dartmoor Kitchens 

And best of all…
Cake by Bride's aunt
Flowers by Groom's mum
Decoration by the mums, close family & friends

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A 1960s Lace Wedding Dress for Ambreen – Mad Men Style.

Dear Reader,
Today we have Real Vintage Bride Ambreen, looking fabulous in an original 1960s lace wedding dress...

Ambreen's cocktail–style dress in superb quality lace is a classic 1960s style. With its close–fitted bodice, three–quarter sleeves and on–the–knee length, it perfectly shows off Ambreen's gorgeous hourglass figure and chic style. 

Ambreen cleverly kept her accessories simple – Vivienne Westwood Lady Dragon shoes, a pearl bracelet and a pretty birdcage veil, created bespoke by my brilliant seamstress Grace.

A fabulous Mad Men look, for a wonderfully individual wedding.

Love

Helena

Heavenly Vintage Brides

If you'd like to see more 1960s–style wedding dresses, 

please click here…

And for more Real Vintage Brides, check out my website page here...

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