My Ten Favorite Buy Nothing Moments

I love my Buy Nothing Group.

I know, I talk about it a lot, but I genuinely feel that being part of the Buy Nothing Project radically shifted my perception of stuff, my community, even myself. The project connects neighbors through hyper local facebook groups. The members can offer and ask for things freely. It keeps things you don't want out of landfills and keeps people from wasting money. In cities, it helps you get to know your neighbors and in small communities, it creates new bonds. It's all kinds of awesome.

Expect me to keep talking about it, because my goal is that by the end of 4 years the 280,000 members will have grown to at least 2 million. It is all about people empowering themselves, but I am just going to keep talking about it until someone in Franklin, PA starts a group already. Or you give up and ask to join yours. This could help everyone, freeing up money to make more ethical and environmentally-responsible choices, so the more of us who join, the better.

It also just makes daily life better. When I get on facebook, my news feed shows me people being kind to each other, not because of who they are, but because that is what you do. I have had so many positive interactions with my neighbors, which is way swell, and I just feel better about the universe. That is pretty big these days. I have been in this gift economy for a year and a half, and these are some of my favorite interactions:

10. Gifting our Christmas Wreath

 I bought a fresh wreath at an elementary school fundraiser mostly to make my house smell like a real Christmas tree, even though we continue to use our trusty artificial one (It will look like a used fake eyelash before we throw that bad boy away). We were headed back home for the holidays, and it felt like a shame to let the wreath go to waste, so I gifted it to a young mom looking for a few decorations for her apartment. She walked a couple miles to get it, so I honored the badassery with glass of water, and we ended up sitting and chatting for a few hours while our kids played near each other (toddlers never play together- why do people pretend?). It was an unexpected way to spend our last Christmasy afternoon in the city. Plus that gorgeous pine stink still stuck for a while.

9. Gifted Tablecloths

My brother is getting married in a few weeks, so when someone recently offered 40 wedding tablecloths, I jumped at it. Do you know just how many tablecloths that is? It was HEAVY. Hopefully the tablecloths can get washed and regifted, so they will see at least 3 couples through their wedding day.

free

8.Gifted Popping Push Toy/ Plastic Shopping Cart/ Plastic Tree House/ Plastic Wagon

I hate fresh plastic toys- so much waste for no reason! Luckily, my son still got one of those magnetic drawing boards, the shopping cart, even one of those popper toys. His plastic tree house is one of his favorites. We just got them all for free. And when we are done with them, some other kid will get them for free. At this age, they can't tell the difference between used and new, and my hope is that I am giving him a different value system. The newest, shiniest thing doesn't have intrinsically more value.  More toys does not equal more fun. We have gifted toys and been gifted toys over and over again, so at any given time his collection is at least 50% used. It saves us so much money, but more importantly, it sends him important messages about consumerism and giving (not hoarding) as a regular part of life.

7.Gifting Spruce Sap

One of the group members was looking for sap from a spruce tree. We have a spruce tree! An hour or two later, our tree was less sticky and we got to help someone with a school project. Also, I learned that spruce trees are sappy. The best kind of random.

6. Gifting Treadmill/ Gifted Crib

We kicked off healthy 2016 by giving away our treadmill (perfect sense, right?). A woman got it, and her husband and his friend loaded it in their van. In November, I was gifted a crib from the same family. My husband and his brother loaded it into our car. Just goes to show that these things come around pretty fast.

about to find more pavers. also got the bucket (originally for frosting) on BN

5. Gifting Pavers

 Our flipped yard is really just built on top of the previous yard, so every time we go to do something, we find a whole floor of pavers underneath. Lucky for us, we kicked off our summer giving away a bunch of those big rocks to people to put paths through their gardens. One mom came with her toddler and loaded so many that it made her car sit lower. One woman's super annoying rock pit is another woman's treasure.

4. Gifted Food Magazines

For one of my class projects, I need pictures of food. Lots of pictures of food. So many pictures of food. Usually, I would buy a pile of food magazines and old cookbooks to fill that need. This year, I asked my Buy Nothing, and I got so many I shouldn't have to ask again for a long time. Happy to be recycling for someone, especially when the recycling turns out this cute.

3. Gifting (and watching Gifting) for people who really need it

Our city is growing fast, but lots of people are still really struggling, and I have been awed by how many times people have stepped up to help. I have seen people rally around moms leaving domestic violence situations. I have seen 10-20 people step up when someone asks for a ride to the hospital. I have seen them drop off food to someone who can't shop. We have given our newborn clothes to a premie and our swing to an exhausted mother of twins. We have given hats and warm clothes to the homeless. We have helped the group outfit elementary school classrooms with supplies. I have watch so many people empty their cupboards to help their neighbor.

I know we have problems, but I genuinely believe, have to believe that we as Americans are fundamentally good. When faced with an individual who needs help, I have never seen the group go silent. Someone helps. Usually, at least a dozen people offer. Being a participant in this is great, but it does my soul so much good to be a witness. Because when I leave my house, even in this big city, I know how many kind people are around me.

2. Gifting a Wedding Dress

I foolishly impulse bought a wedding dress at Priscilla of Boston because they were closing and had a ridiculous clearance. In the end. I wore a different dress. This spring, a woman asked if anyone had a wedding dress to gift or lend, and I did! So it traveled with my Dad and his wife across the country for her to try on. And it looked perfect. Little did I know I bought her dress for her, but it was fate. She looks amazing.

They get married next year, so I won't post a picture, but I could not be more excited about this. So glad the dress is going to good use and honored to have helped with their day!

1. Gifted the Dining Room Table

Last October, my husband was home for a sick day, and we ended up loading our sick butts into the car, renting a van, and going to a stranger's house to pick up the table. I had thrown my hat in for the table, but he was picked, then it didn't work in his space. Not only was it a kind of fun adventure, but I am super sentimental about this table. It was another growing family's first, and now our family will grow up eating their meals around this table.

It has been a lot of work (put on pause because we found out we were pregnant soon after), but the table only cost us 15 dollars for the van rental. Compare it to the same table at Pottery Barn, we saved over 2,000 dollars. We can put that money toward a trip or adventure for our family, and when it is done, we will still have a beautiful space. I love the table and I feel so grateful to live in the kind of neighborhood where things are given so freely and happily.

That's what this is all about to me. When we are willing to share with our neighbors, we can build new bonds and reprioritize our life. It doesn't have to all be about the next thing you are going to buy, and you spend most of the time considering what you have that you can give. If you aren't in a Buy Nothing group, check out their page and join. If there isn't one where you live, let's talk about starting one. This thing can change the world and change your life!

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Kind Words from Make-Up Artist Omie!

Dear Reader,
I hope you'll forgive me for a brief moment of trumpet-blowing, but I recently found this lovely article online. I discovered it completely by chance and was so pleased!

I died and went to Vintage Heaven 

"Yesterday I had my first taste of vintage bridal heaven. I got on the train and made my way to London to meet with top vintage wedding dress expert, in my opinion, and all round super cool lady, Helena. Helena runs Heavenly Vintage Brides from her beautiful home situated just outside of central London.

 

Since being presented with my stunning 1930’s engagement ring and the loveliest proposal from Michael, my thoughts have been in over drive about wedding dresses. After all, it is the most important dress I am going to wear in my life. So since Christmas, yes that soon, I have been scouring the internet for small companies who deal in vintage bridal dresses. In truth I had been somewhat disappointed  by the lack of vintage dresses on offer. I found myself presented with many bigger companies who sell vintage inspired dresses and vintage looking dresses, but none the less these are new frocks. I love the idea of a slight imperfection on the hem, a button that needs re sewing and a hue in the fabric that can only be described as love. The thing with vintage is that the quality and mastery that goes into making a dress cant be matched. I have never thought of buying a new wedding dress and I think there is something very romantic about marrying in a dress that someone else married in, perhaps several people in some cases. It kind of feels like passing the love down and I like that notion. 

After a few hours of scouring you can imagine my excitement when I came across Helena’s website which just drew me in from the start. Just to add I do buy new clothes. I would love to say my wardrobe is all vintage pieces but that would be a lie. I love new clothes as well and every so often, when I can afford to, I treat myself to a designer piece. Often something from Vivienne Westwood or Marc Jacobs. I am quite clever when it comes to shopping so I will buy designer pieces in the sales when they are half the price. I look for the shape and the cut of the fabric. It needs to stand the test of time and suit my body shape in a flattering way. No one cuts fabric like Vivienne so I see it as an investment. 

So, back to my trip to London. I arrived at Helena’s an hour late. Fashionably? Id like to say so but it was actually due to the fact that I am terrible on London’s underground and waited at the wrong platform for my second train. Helena kindly met me from the train station and I was taken upstairs to her beautifully decorated and dressed room where the magic happens. I honesty felt so happy and excited when I saw her collection of vintage bridal dresses, and these were proper vintage. I like proper.

 

Helena explained everything to me about the process of picking out the dresses, trying them on and how she would help me find what suited my shape and the look I am after. It quickly became very clear that Helena’s knowledge was excellent. She really knows her dresses and designers. I listened tentatively when she told me the history of each dress; where it had come from, who designed it and the decade it was born. Helena has dresses from all decades and I was ecstatic when I saw the sizeable 1960’s section on the beautifully laid out rail. 

 

I don’t want to ramble on about trying on the dresses, unless anyone wants to know in which case please post me some questions. All I would like to say is that is was brilliant, from arrival to the end. In fact, I cant wait to go back. The Earl Grey in the vintage tea cup and the chit chat about Helena’s past career working at Vidal Sassoon was the icing on the cake. 

I have narrowed it down to 4 dresses, I think. Being a typical Libra I am sure I will change my mind several times and no doubt return to my first choice. I have a couple more appointments with vintage bridal dress specialists which I will post about in the near future. 

If anyone is thinking of having a vintage wedding dress I would strongly recommend Heavenly Vintage Brides and contacting Helena."

 

Shucks, too kind! The author was a client of mine earlier this year, and is a make-up artist who does lovely work for brides. You can see her own blog here. Thanks, Omie.

And thanks dear reader for putting up with my shameless showing-off. That's quite enough about me, I promise… back to gorgeous brides and heavenly dresses later this week!

Love
Helena
Heavenly Vintage Brides

If you like this post, try
MY GUIDE TO 1960s WEDDING DRESSES

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Wedding Wednesday- Final Thoughts on the Dress

 

Alright, I really am trying to get the wedding stuff done before I have forgotten it all. I figure next month is one month out, at which point all thank you cards and blogs should be done with. One thing that I thought I could talk about before it became ancient ancient history is my wedding dress. I didn't write about it too specifically beforehand, but now I can say whatever I want so there. 

We started shopping for dresses about a year before the wedding. My mom came to see me in California and we went all over the bay area to try dresses. We started noticing some trends early on. First, when you tell people you don't want to be sparkly, you run out of options a lot quicker. (side note: the fingers up are so my mom and I could talk about the dresses later)

 

Secondly, if you tell people you want something a little bit different, they hear ruffles. I tried so many things covered in ruffles on. It turns out, I am not much more ruffley than I am sparkley.

 

The other thing that became obvious quickly was just how expensive dresses could get. We went to a few fancier places, and things can really get out of hand. It was also a lot of information to process in one weekend and we started to get a little overwhelmed. People say you can get it in a few tries, but I think it depends a lot on where you shop and whether the person helping you has a good sense of what you want. The dress on the right, by Amsale, had swiss dots and I really loved it, but my mom wasn't feeling it as much.

 

Then we went to Priscilla of Boston, and I tried on a couple of their polka dot numbers with minimal success (back then I thought polka dots was really going to work, but it mostly didn't). I tried on this dress, Fern, and it, by far, got the biggest reaction from both my mom and I. It was very femme and soft without being obnoxious or saccharine.We had gone to Priscilla of Boston's partially for fun, because the dresses were a little expensive, so even though I think we could have bought this that day, the price scared us away.

 

After that, that weekend in July had minimal luck. 

 

But I did get to try on more ruffles! I thought a lot about it, but nothing felt like such an obvious answer that I was having a Randy Fenoli say yes to the dress moment. At the same time, I didn't have a huge desire to keep up the shopping, so I got antsy to just get something. 

 

Around November, it came out that Priscilla of Boston was being shut down to put more money and energy into David's Bridal, because they are both owned by the same company. I rushed to their big sample sales, thinking I would get Fern, but trying on the dress I couldn't help but notice just how well-loved that dress was. But the dresses were so cheap and sensible and fancy-looking, so I kept trying to find one that would work.  There was a lot of sending my mom cell phone pictures.

 

Eventually I found this one, which was super cheap and I figured was reasonably attractive. It was a sample for a dress Priscilla of Boston (Elaine) would never even get to make, so the dress looked good as new.  I debated back and forth whether or not to buy it, which was especially annoying because I couldn't bring another human being with me. All I had were the sales girls. So, I ended up buying it, sort of in panic that I knew this was my only chance to get a dress like that. I called it in from the East Coast and then picked it up after Thanksgiving. After I bought it, I was just antsy about whether I really wanted it or not, and started having a lot of regrets about it. I found myself thinking about the dress a LOT, which really seems like the first sign I had done something wrong. I was embarassed to show people and I just wasn't excited about it. It really is a very pretty dress, but it didn't have any fun to it at all.

I only was sure that I had made the wrong choice when I got my shoes for the wedding (from the fantastic Milk and Honey) and I was so much more excited about the shoes than I was about the dress. I took pictures to sell it online and decided I would shop a little in January. If I found something great, I would switch over, and if not, I could live with what I got.

 

I had really liked pictures of the Watters dress Lasara, and I saw online I could try it at a bridal store- Epiphany Bridal- in Carmel by the Bay. I waited until they were having a trunk sale, and the boy and I drove there for what became my sort of last chance to find it. And then, I did. 

 

I never had a weeping moment of ridiculousness at the store, but I tried this on and could tell it fulfilled both my requirements and the trends that had emerged out of a bunch of shopping- I liked dresses that flared at the waist (because I didn't want to have to think about the pooch at the wedding) with cool details. This looked pretty and floral from a distance, but when you got close it looked like a bunch of doodles. It was so cool!

 

So, with my first ever skyping and shopping experience, my Mom and I decided we were on the same page, that the cut worked, etc and we got the dress. Of course, because this had clearly become an arena from where to collect my crazy, we originally didn't get the bolero, because I liked the dress well enough without it, then eventually bought it separately. 

 

My mom finally got to see the dress in May when we went to the first fitting. No one tells you this, but it takes forever for the dress to come, and in that time, you kind of forget about it. At least, I did. So trying on the dress was so cool because I had forgotten how much I like it. It looked great, except that it was super huge, especially in the chesticles. 

 

The owner of Epiphany Bridal makes the veils and does the alterations herself, all for free. If you are anywhere near there, I would highly recommend her.

 

I think the dress came out great, minus being a home for bugs.  I would highly recommend not guilting yourself into a dress you don't love. Also, being honest with yourself about how you feel about your body, because I could have saved a lot of time if I told people I didn't want a fit and flare dress.

 

 

The other strange thing that you can get caught in is that this dress has to somehow be a summation of your entire being. It's not true. It's just a nice dress that you should really love and hopefully feel good in. And like anything else with wedding stuff, once you make a decision, if you can not think about it anymore, you made the right one. The bolero was a good choice and I think that it was beautiful and I kind of wish I had stuck with it the whole night.

 

I feel kind of sad the dress is put away, but I loved it and I felt pretty attractive in it. So it was all good. My advice- don't shop alone if you can help it, do your research, and leave guilt out of it. Don't get something just because it is cheap. Don't worry about the subtextual rhetoric inherent in your dress. You just want to look nice, and that means whatever it means to you. Yay wedding dress!

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