Throwback Thursday- Everything You Might Want for an All-American (and Eco-Friendly) Backyard Barbeque

Every 4th of July, my Dad throws a picnic in his backyard that is one of my favorite times of the year. His dixieland band plays by the river, I see lots of people I genuinely love, and then we sit by the water and watch fireworks. I also eat a hot dog, which I know is probably some environmentalist abomination (is there plastic in it? Who knows), but it is also delicious. I don't eat them all the time, but damn I love an excuse for a hot dog.

My dad and his wife's approach to this party is pretty laid back, and people bring dishes and chairs. The chill is part of the appeal, but now that I am a bourgeois environmentalist, I am wondering if you can switch out some of the "easy" elements of a barbeque for something a little more ethical. Take care of our beautiful summers! And, if it is 4th of July, shouldn't your party be All-American too? It sounds crazy, but a little research shows me this goal is completely possible.

There is a general assumption about outside parties that you want cheap so you can just throw it all away. There's wisdom in that- who wants to put out the fine china for your hot dogs? If you are having a big crowd over, who wants to wash all those plates?

But if you want it to be truly disposable, SKIP PLASTIC COMPLETELY!

 It will last just as long (if not longer) than your regular wares, and you are just adding to a landfill future generations are going to have to deal with.

At the very least, we can all switch out the easy option for the better option in a place or two. It can save money, save American jobs, and save the planet. That's a lot of good to set your hot dog on!

Don't want to go all out? Plastic-free picnic, my friend.

Also, this blog doesn't address actual food items much, because the real rule of thumb is whatever you can get locally (from your farmer's market, roadside stand, local grocer, etc) is the most eco-friendly choice you can make. Probably the most healthy for you as well. The best way to answer that question is to get out there and see what you can find. You might be surprised and, better yet, inspired!

 Let's talk about all the great options that are out there for an Eco-friendly or All-American Picnic!

Anchor Hocking from Amazon

Drink Dispensers- One time use plastic water bottles are the bane of my existence (loyal readers know that Nestle Pure Life is my sworn enemy), but I can't remember the last time I went to a picnic without one. Why? Because lugging water can be a real pain. I get it, this one is annoying, but cans are actually more easily recycled and plastic bottles are an abomination that makes the angels weep. Instead, why not try a drink dispenser filled with water and give out cups? You could even do a couple and have a few choices for your guests other than pop or bottled water. Drink Dispensers will also save you big money in a relatively short time. A case of bottled water is a lot more expensive than the tap water you can filter in your own house.

Our Pick- We have a drink dispenser made by Anchor Hocking that we really love, and it weirdly makes things feel more summery. We have mostly put strawberry lemonade in ours but water would work perfectly well. I like this one with a chalkboard as well, but I will say it may depend where you are having your picnic. If it isn't right in your backyard, that might be a long way to lug a glass dispenser!

If you do have a further distance to take your dispensers but still want to make a more ethical choice, I did find a Made in the USA and BPA-free version from Buddeez. Yes, it is still plastic, but you can reuse it for all of your picnics. here is a set of 2, where it looks like you can put fruit and other fun stuff at the top (just skip those plastic glasses). Think of how many one-time use plastics you have side-stepped!

Coolers- Ok, so you still want some pop there. I get it. Pop is delicious- go can not bottle. Cans are still cheaper and more efficient to recycle, so they are the better choice by far. If you need a cooler, I can cover you on that too.

Our Pick- Used! Coolers mostly last forever, and lots of people have more than they need. I see them on Buy Nothing pretty often, so you might just try asking around for coolers. I bet some of your picnic guests have coolers at home- have them bring it with some ice as their contribution to the party. You could also try something a little less traditional if you are going for looks- I have seen metal buckets on many a pinterest post for wedding drinks. You might also be able to track one of these down used.

Both Coleman and Rubbermaid coolers are still made in the States; in fact, the coolers were the only thing in Target's 4th of July section that were actually made in the US! Gah, I still can't get over how embarrassing that is. Coleman sells a steel cooler if you want to skip the plastic, and honestly, it is so pretty! I had no idea, but I love the retro feel, and it could add a little style to your picnic while minimizing the plastic you use. New favorite in my book.

Grizzly Coolers look a little tough for your average picnic, but these plastic coolers are also made in the US, so it might be the right option for you!

Susty Party from Amazon

Cups- Ok, this is one lots of us don't even buy anymore- you just buy cans and bottles, but it is worth it to eliminate some of this waste, because they can be hard to recycle. If you want to have a more environmentally-friendly party style, you have two great options- buy something you can reuse, or buy something that biodegrades easily, so they don't make any waste.

Our Pick- Honestly, we mostly just use our regular glasses. We have enough, and it seems fine to me. We have never hosted any really big parties though, so if we did, I think we would probably get something like this. We would probably buy clear, biodegradable cups if need be. Swirly Twirly sells paper cups that look fun and biodegrades easily. Want to get something really patriotic? Sur La Table is selling cups that really commit (and are made in the US with biodegradable materials- so great).

Green Point (maybe made in the USA? Mixed feedback on that, which is usually not a good sign) and Eco Products sell a clear corn-based cup, but they are a bit of a gamble because reviews say they melt in direct sun.  Susty Party also sells clear biodegradable cups, but they are made in China, and I honestly like the designs of their paper cups more (especially for a 4th of July picnic).

If you want to go very country and classy, you could buy a bulk set of mason jars for your outside drinking. Both Ball jars and Kerr jars are made in the US, and you could keep the big box they come in to just pack them up for the winter. I feel like this idea works perfectly if your life belongs on Pinterest. Still, washing them and putting them back in storage would be pretty easy, and you can use them for every picnic for the rest of your life, no problem. Just make sure you get an 8 or 16 oz jar. Nothing too big or with too narrow a mouth! You can get 12 for 9 dollars, so they are actually cheaper than plastic tumblers in many cases.

Seventh Generation on Amazon

Napkins and Paper Towels- We have mostly switched to cloth napkins in our house, but even if you can get that eco friendly, who wants to deal with a big party's worth of napkins? Who even owns that many?!? Paper napkins make more sense, and you can buy a bulk set of something recycled and made in America. There is basically no reason to get anything other than recycled napkins anyway.

Our Pick- Seventh Generation napkins are recycled, unbleached, made in America, and still really soft! Are they the prettiest napkins you have ever seen? No. But people's party obsession with napkins is frankly pretty stupid. When have you ever said "Oh that party was so fun. I really loved the napkins"? Oh, never? Yes, that's true for everyone, so recycled makes perfect sense, and you can get them in bulk for crazy cheap (and probably never have to buy napkins again). If you want that crisp white napkin, Seventh Generation sells some bleached versions that are still 100% recycled. 4

Love a pretty napkin but still want something pretty? Check out the Susty Party napkins- made in the USA, 100% recycled, 20% post-consumer.

Still haven't found what you are looking for? Check out Natural Value for Made in the USA and 100% recycled. Green Forest and Marcal have great options too!

Preserve from Amazon

Paper Plates- This is a category where you don't even have to deviate far from the mainstream. Chinet makes some of their paper plates out of recycled material that can be composted. They are also made right here in the United States!

Want something a little more stylish or a little more tree-friendly? I have got you covered on both fronts! Susty Party makes square compostable plates out of sugar cane biproduct. Some of their party supplies are made in the States, but I don't think this is one of them. My pick would probably be MV Trading's Tree Free plates, which are made from sustainably harvested bamboo and are completely compostable! Earth's Natural Product also makes plates from sugar cane, but they are made in China, so it is a trade off.

If you do love plastic plates, Preserve (one of my favorite Made in the USA companies) sells plastic plates you can clean over and over again. When you are all done with them, the company will take them back and recycle them- so cool!

Silverware- Sure, use up the lifetime supply of spoons and knives you have sitting around. But there are better options for this.You can go three ways with this, and they are all way better than the plastic silverware we grew up with.

 First, you can pick a biodegradable material, so when those forks (and spoons and knives, but who are we kidding, just forks) get thrown away, they can be composted or will at least break down with time. Emerald sells a cornstarch set- I have used the cornstarch cutlery before, and it is a little rougher than plastic, but they are sturdy and you can reuse them before you have to compost them, so they might be a good fit! Transitions 2 Earth also sells a biodegradable set they claim will break down even in the landfull- they have solid reviews, and most say they sneak by like normal disposable cutlery. Repurpose makes plant-based silverware that has a good reputation for standing up to hot food while still being compostable and biodegradable. They are made in Taiwan, so not perfect, but a pretty good option.

You can get wood utensils like these from Pretty Sweet Party that will obviously break down with time (I also think they look much cleaner and more stylish, if that is a thing you care about). You can just get forks as well. These are very smooth (though a little short?), and they are made in the United States! Creative Juice Cafe and Olia Designs sells a really lovely set as well. If you just like to picnic with your family, let me recommend these rePeat utensil sets made of wood and recycled plastic bottles.

The other option is to get recycled plastic cutlery and then reuse it. Preserve makes recycled and foodsafe cutlery that you can use over and over. And they make them here in the US! You can also buy the things you need (forks) in bulk as well, and if you reuse, it should set you for life (unless you throw some massive picnics). When you decide you are done with it, you still don't need to throw it away! You can mail used products back to them and they will recycle them for you. In my opinion, there is really no reason not to use something like this, and just have a separate bun for people to throw their cutlery in, no more trash!

Tranquilo straws from Amazon

Straws- Paper straws can be a cute way to add to the spirit and decor of your event, and they can have a mostly positive environmental impact! Woot! My pick, forever and always, will be Tranquilo paper straws. Not only are they biodegradable and made in the US, they also donate a portion of their proceeds to The Ocean Cleanup Project. There is absolutely NO reason to buy plastic straws EVER again, and these are the best of the best. If you are planning an event of any kind, including a barbeque, you can check their huge selection and find the perfect straws. If you wanted another option for being amazing, Susty Party sells FSC certified paper straws that are also made in the US! I love that you can get them in BULK, because restaurants could switch over too. This set might be my favorite for the 4th of July.

Aardvark also sells paper straws made in the US, but according to reviews, they don't hold on as well in liquid. For our wedding, I think we used Kikkerland- the straws are sturdy and biodegradable, but they are made in China, so it depends on your priorities. I found some 4th of July-themed paper straws from Creative Juice Cafe as well if you want to be really spirited!

Picnic Blankets and Chairs- At Pagmanda's picnic, people mostly bring their own seats. Mostly, this means folding chairs and blankets. Chairs seem to always already be in someone's closet, but they had to get there somehow. I don't think people buy these often, and our picnic blankets are almost always just blankets that we have already gotten a lot of use out of. It doesn't get it's own blanket.

If you do want a picnic blanket that is a little more special than your well-worn blankets, Etsy seller Sewn Natural sells some of my favorites, but these blankets come at a pretty steep price. Modern Cabin sells really pretty ones as well.

Need some serious and stay put lawn chairs? My favorite are Polywood chairs, which are made in the US from recycled plastic. They are getting so popular that you can buy them from Target, and you can find other brands, like Eco Poly Furniture, doing the same thing, so you might check your local garden or outdoorsy store. They absolutely aren't cheap, but if you want something that stays in your yard and the color lasts forever, these could be your (very eco-friendly) chairs. To put it in perspective, you can buy similar "synthetic" but good looking furniture out of all new plastic for the same or more money, so boo on you, Highwood.

Looking for something to fold up and bring with you to picnics or parades? Telescope Casual makes those exact chairs (in lots of versions- some open box and cheaper, so poke around). I researched the chairs people bring to sports games or camping now (you know, the ones with armrests with cupholders and mesh), but I didn't find any definitive answers. When I figure it out, I will let you know.  Need some to pull out just for special events? Glo Dea makes pretty wood folding chairs that look really stylish and comfortable, but are still made in the USA!

from Lot 450

Citronella Candles- The trick to being eco-friendly when buying a candle is to avoid paraffin. It's another petroleum-based product and it does not burn clean. So you are breathing in a bunch of nastiness. Almost all mainstream candles, from Yankee Candle to most citronellas, are made with paraffin wax, but you don't have to look too hard to find great candles in soy wax, beeswax, or other substitutes (at about the same price too). You can also actually clean out the jars they come in, so they can get reuse.

Our Pick- We just bought two citronella candles from Etsy stores- Lot 450 Store and Zax Beeswax. I can say they look great and the smell isn't quite as rough, but I will have to update this to let you know how they work. But I am excited to have cut this needless chemicals and non-renewable resource out of our home.

Candle options have exploded in recent years, so you have lots of options. Bite Lite sells soy candles that uses essential oils to repel bugs away. A year ago, I would have thought that was too crazy and granola, but we started using peppermint oil to keep ants and spiders out of our house, and it works so well! Sugar Creek sells a paraffin-free candle as well in a 16 oz jar, so this should last you a long time. You can find tons, and if you don't care about paraffin, you can still keep an eye out for Made in the USA candle choices.

Yard Games- In case your party needs some games (ours don't always go that route, but it can be really fun for somebody when it does), you can find them made in America way more than you might expect. You can find anything on this list Made in America on Etsy or Amazon, or you can use someone else's idea as an inspiration and make your own:

Giant Jenga (this looks so fun! And you can find lots of options)
Frisbee (I really like these ones from The Wright Life as well)
Cornhole Boards (tons of these on Etsy, some made of recycled wood)
Cornhole Bags
Horseshoes (St. Pierre has a set too)
Ring Toss
Badminton (only assembled in the US

This is one that I feel like I am missing lots of things- try going to your local sports store and ask what is made in the US still. Or make some games! It might be fun!

Hefty Trash Bags on Amazon

Trash Bags- Yep, we may not think about it, but at a picnic, don't you feel like you always have to look and find the garbage bag hanging off the corner of some table? Your best option would probably be PAPER grocery bags, but if that doesn't make sense for you, then always use recycled trash bags. Right now everything that is described as biodegrading plastic (in this case) doesn't cut the mustard (if you actually want biodegradable bags, I highly recommend Biobags, but they are mostly for green waste, not regular garbage). They basically break up into tiny pieces that will be impossible for our children and grandchildren to clean up someday. Instead, look for garbage bags with a high percentage of post-consumer plastic.

Our Pick- Hefty sells a recycled garbage bag made of 65% recycled plastic. I love this because it sends a mainstream brand the direct message that their recycled initiatives are worth it and will sell.

Other recycled bags that still have solid reviews- Seventh Generation (55%, 16% post-consumer recycled), Earthsense (60% recycled), Pride Green (100% recycled, but they do have lower reviews, so may not stand up as well to party use), and the best is If You Care (97% recycled with glowing reviews).

Lodge at Sur La Table

Grill Gear- Most of the time we aren't really buying a new grill. If you are, Weber makes some of theirs in the United States, and you can buy them from Sur La Table- if it isn't worth it to you, you can also find TONS of used grills on Ebay- used and US, treat them like the only choices! Even if you aren't buying a grill, you might need a tool or two for your planned menu, so here are a few ideas.

You can find most anything you would need made nearby- Grill brush, grill pan, grill basket. Serious about your grill pans? Lodge sells a cast iron one, and like everything they make, it is no joke. If you are going to do a lot of grilling this way, Lodge is an investment.

LA Linen from Amazon

Tablecloth- This is the kind of thing you just sort of throw in the cart while shopping for other things, and often we settle for something disposable, because it seems a lot easier. But these are usually plastic, which means you can throw it away, but as a planet, we are still stuck with it. Basically, forever. And if you can use the same cloth (even vinyl or polyester) one over and over, the cost might be higher up front, but in the long run, you can save money over those disposable table clothes year after year.

You could very well be able to find something perfect for outdoor use at your neighborhood Salvation Army or Goodwill. I always see lots of tablecloths there, and if you don't have to worry about size, this could be the ticket.

My other pick? LA Linen makes a bunch of outdoor tableclothes in different sizes and fabrics (though mostly polyesters). Everything is made in Los Angeles, and they are also washable, so you can just throw them in with other laundry. Want one like your grammy has? Blue Hill sells those checkered vinyl-y ones that remind me of grandparents. The upside is that they repel stains, the down side is if they do get dirty, they are harder to clean.

If you wanted to take on a craft project, these tablecloths made of sewn-together bandanas look patriotic and cool, and you can buy bandanas made in America for pretty cheap. Essma clothing sells their Made in the USA bandanas in packs of 12. It's a great deal, and you can made a really fun and memorable tablecloth quickly.

Valley Forge Flags from Amazon

Decor- I just posted a blog on amazing 4th of July decorations that are made here and could definitely take your 4th of July picnic to another level. If nothing else, you might want an American flag this summer. You would think all American flags are made here. You would think wrong, because that isn't the case at all. So if you want to get an ethical (and actually patriotic) flag, Valley Forge Flags are one of your best bets (look locally too, just check those tags!).

Ok, Paggy, what barbeque stuff am I forgetting? These are just the kinds of things we would never think twice about just picking up whatever at the store and tossing it when we are done. But that doesn't work anymore, and we know better. No picnic is worth that much more headed to the landfill, and since you are feeding more people than usual, you can make a bigger impact with one meal! Score!

Want more shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Shopping Lists here!

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Wedding Wednesday- Eco-Friendly Wedding Guest Wear

In your early 20's, it still feels weird to go to friends' weddings. 

By your mid-20's, it is an established part of your summer routine. Most of us even get into those binds where we are invited to more than one in a weekend. 

By the end of your 20's, you are a pro, and you could probably fill your Saturdays watching people get hitched. 

Wedding Guesting is an art all its own, and it can become a big part of life (and your budget). We may spend most wedding talk on issues of planning, but most of us will go to more weddings as a guest than a participant (unless we are a real badass), so it might be worth it to figure out how to do it well (find that drunken shenanigan line- yes to dancing, no to anything you wouldn't want a professional photographer present for), how to do it with style, and even how to do it in an eco-friendly way. 

I love going to a wedding- how many events do you get to go to where you just get to be excited for someone else, eat cake, and get dressed up? I just like when good things happen to people, and weddings are usually (but not always) really good things. The weddings in our life have picked up from year to year, though this year we are in a lull, and we had to miss a few people we really love due to travel and pregnancy-related limitations (before this year, we always tried to make it, and I think we were only thwarted once due to a nasty case of viral exanthems- sorry Kate!). I would like to believe we have gotten pretty good at guesting, at least as good as we can while still being super awkward dorks. These are the key responsibilities as I see them: 

1. Have a Good Time- Someone spent a bunch of money trying to make this party a good time. So get on board whatever ship they are sailing. Dance even if the dj is not the greatest (or prioritizes taking selfies). Participate in the activity, even if it is dorky. Make small talk even if you truly are the worst at it. You are a collaborator in the good time, so get in there and have fun like it is your job. 

2. Get a Good Gift- A gift's value can come from a lot of things, but gifting is my love language, so I take it very seriously. MORE HERE. 

3. Don't Look a Hot Mess- Don't be the guest they are trying to crop out of pictures. This is a wedding; no camo shorts, nipples, or super fashion moments are needed (these are all things I have seen while a guest). The bride and groom probably indicated to you the level of formality and the general style of the wedding (often the colors too) in the invite. Don't try to dress like a bridesmaid, but you can try to get in the spirit of the event with your clothes. 

But here is the problem. If you are going to be a professional wedding guest, that adds up to a lot of travel, a lot of gifting, and a lot of merriment. It also means you are dressing up A LOT. 

You can green your gifting by seeking out the green items on their registry, giving them honeymoon money, or by doing simple substitutions by using the Made in America and Eco-Friendly Wedding Registry, 

It turns out you can turn your many fashion moments into productive and eco-friendly purchases as well. Let's go through it by formality. Not that I actually understand the different formality levels, because they are impossible, and we are a generation of ragamuffins. I'll split by gender too, but obviously you should ride the line or do whatever makes sense for you. Just gathering resources.

Formal (white tie) and Semi-Formal (black tie)

For Guys-  Rent a Tuxedo! If you think you have enough black tie events in your future, buying one might make sense. Even mainstream stores like Men's Wearhouse have their USA- made selections obviously marked. I saw a few on Nordstrom as well, but they are so expensive! How many times would you have to rent before it is cheaper to buy? Sharing/ renting makes sense to me for your average guy.

For Ladies- I have always hated that men can rent a tux and women are supposed to shell out so much money for a dress. It's not that way anymore! I am all about Rent the Runway, where you can rent formal dresses I know I could never afford. It gives you the chance to switch up your look, and it is more environmentally-friendly than all of us having some formal dresses just collecting dust in our closets. You can get dresses at every level of formality (starting as low as 30 bucks), but it makes the most sense when you are headed to a black tie wedding, because, really, when are you reusing that gown?

If your answer is "all the time, B," you are in luck. Certain designers of more formal dresses- Nicole Miller, Zac Posen, Jason Wu, Jennifer Kroll - have already pledged to make (at least some of) their dresses in the United States. Nordstrom has 46 options for made in America formal dresses. You can even try Amazon (just read the description before you buy. They love "or imported" in the descriptions). Anthropologie sells one line of Made in America dresses that would work for bridesmaids or guests. I tried to aim on the simple side, because you can always switch up the style around it, but that is my best tip- go classic in a simple color, and you might get more years of life out of the dress. 

Informal (Suit and Cocktail Dress)

For Guys- Most men (but not all, so self-assess don't sweat it if this isn't you) should probably own at least two suits: a grey or black one and a navy one. The nice thing for dudes is they can buy one or two really well-made suits, and then wear them forever. It's kind of this blog's dream for all people, regardless of their gender. Most suits aren't cheap, but a good one can last you so long that you really get your money's worth. 

I know Men's Wearhouse carries a brand Joseph Abboud that are sewn in the United States, so you can go pretty basic and still buy something ethical with minimal negative impact. Their dress pants are even on sale, so it can have minimal pocket impact as well. Nordstrom has a whole section of Made in America suits as well, though I cannot imagine ever being rich enough to spend that kind of money. 

I don't have much advice on men's fashion, but I do HIGHLY recommend the American List on the Continuous Lean. They have a massive list of American-made fashion and gear for men. We have had great luck with everything they have recommended. 

For Ladies- First, a lot of the answers for a great cocktail dress are the same- check out Rent the Runway, you might be surprised by their 1127 options. I think I will do this next time, because the dresses look so beautiful and at least at this moment, my body is always in flux, so purchasing something doesn't make a ton of sense. 

Lots of cocktail dresses are made domestically, so if you do want to buy, you can support slow fashion, the American worker, and shrinking the fossil fuel consumption that plagues uneccessary imports. Nordstrom has 400+ made in America options. Amazon has hundreds as well. You can also find beautiful cocktail dresses made by American designers like Nanette Lepore or (my favorite) Eva Franco. (you can also shop for both of their stuff on Anthropologie). You could also browse Modcloth's Made in America pages.  Lastly, try Shabby Apple- this American brand sells gorgeous dresses that would work perfectly for weddings and cocktail events. 

Casual (everything else)

For Guys- My husband would probably still wear a suit, but for most guys, a few button ups and some trusted dress pants are all you need to survive those less formal weddings. Use what you already have and invest in pieces that will last you. My advice? Look for some button ups on The American List from A Continuous Lean. It may cost more at first, but get something classic and it should last you longer. For neckties, I recommend used or something from The General Knot Co or The Hillside.

For Ladies- If you are in a sundress situation, your first good bet is to check your own closet or favorite consignment store. There are plenty of sundresses out in the world, so you are likely to find something great without looking far. If  you are feeling like you need something special, try checking out Shabby Apple, Modcloth, or Nordstrom. Try a new consignment store, borrow from friends, Thred Up, or even Rent the Runway. You can get something amazing for 30 bucks, for goodness sakes! 

Prioritize getting things used, and if not used, made in America. Stop buying things that are ok, and only shell out for dresses you love enough to keep wearing! Bonus points if you can dress it up or down to get more use out of it. I also think doing separates might get you more bang for your buck- you can use different combinations on those wedding-saturated summers. You have so many options, there is no reason to spend money on a dress that was unethically-made and wastes fossil fuels.

A few other Green Habits for weddings-

Turn down the plastic straw or stirrer. You can't stop the train from rolling, but you can get off. They will last a teensy bit longer.

Give an eco-friendly gift. Check the registry, but a few switches might make the whole thing way more environmentally-kind. Consider who you are shopping for, but this may be a good choice. Or buying a "giftless" gift, like movie tickets or a gift card for a museum, might be the perfect gift. Get your card from a foundation like the Arbor Day Foundation. Wrap it in something recycled.

Recycle your program. 

Good luck, guesties! If you need some inspiration for gifts, be sure to check out The Made in America and Eco-Friendly Wedding Registry. If you want more general shopping inspiration, try The Giant List of Shopping Lists. 

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Wedding Wednesday- How to Save on Wedding Decorations

Oy, wedding costs! You go into it with a vision, and then slowly, that vision can be chipped away just by the shrinking amount still left in the budget. Before you are really planning, you spend a lot of time plotting decorations and cool details, but those are often the things that get cut for the sake of the event as a whole. Some of that is inevitable, but I do think there are cool ways to approach decorations that can save you BIG money.

Even better, if you shift your approach to the stuff you buy for the wedding, you can save things from landfills and create less waste. So many of these decor pieces are used one night only, but if they are shared between many couples, they can have much longer and happier lives.

1. Let the Space do the Work- You picked your venues for a reason. Start with that premise and just let the beauty of your wedding and reception spaces shine through. If it's already a good-looking spot, you may not need much. Don't pick a theme that doesn't fit the room, and you have already saved yourself tons of money.

2. Focus on Lighting (and someone can always lend you lights)- If I had to decorate a whole reception with one item, it would be white twinkly lights. Lighting sets the mood, makes everything look intentional (even when it isn't), and adds that magical thing. Even better, you can almost always find lighting as a rental or used. Twice this summer, I have seen brides gifted tons of Christmas lights for their weddings on Buy Nothing. If you do get lights lent to you, be sure to mark who each strand belongs to. Otherwise, you can get this high impact item for very cheap or even free.

3. DIY it- I love browsing the decoration ideas on Etsy, but I am often struck how many of the things on there can just be made- you don't need to buy them! Sparkly branches? Glue, glitter, and a walk in the woods. Tissue paper flowers? Buy some bulk tissue paper and wire. Peg doll cake topper? Paint that business yourself. We made our escort cards from paint swatches- it doesn't have to be expensive to be memorable and fun.

 When you buy decor, you are paying for time and skill. Work ahead so you have the time, and you can self-assess which skills are within your wheelhouse. You can a little bit of money go a lot further this way! Only trick is to plan ahead!

4. Focal Points over Details- I have seen so many weddings where there were fussy centerpiece things at the table but nowhere to look in the room. Make a few spots really worth looking at and don't bother trying to make every corner beautiful. People will only remember a handful of things anyway.

5. Multi-task- Use your favors or cake or guests as decor. You have millions of choices dependent on your favor, but it's a nice way to have something do double duty. I went to a wedding last year where the cakes were the centerpieces, which saves tons of money on flowers, and you get more time with cake, so who can complain? Stepping out of the box even a little might help you figure out how to make what you are already paying for a key part of the room.

6. Everything Doesn't Have to Match Perfectly- Matchy matchy can be great if you are meticulous, but a little variation never hurt anyone. One of my best friends is very detail-oriented and got all the colors to match perfectly at her wedding. And it looked amazing, but it doesn't have to go that way. If you can find 40 free plates that look one way and 50 that look another, and they both fit, just use them both. It's more important to have a set sense of style than an overly particular matching set mentality. That sense of style and vision for the big picture is what will have the impact in the end.

7. And Please Don't Monogram your Napkins- Why. Why. Why. Why is this even still a thing? If you are doing the little cocktail napkins, by all means, get them in a color that resonates with your scheme (even better, get them recycled from a company like Susty). But why is this insta-garbage a good time to remind people whose wedding they are attending? No one has forgotten, and honestly, it is never all that classy. Put your money into other details, and then whatever you don't use can be for another couple or your dinner parties. Put the date on your favors, and skip the rest.

8. Get It Used- This is the most cost-effective AND eco-friendly thing you can do for your wedding decorations. So many wedding decorations become one time use things, and I hate to think of all the perfectly useful objects that get thrown out. But the bright side is you can find so much out there if you just know where to look and don't mind some browsing.

You can find great used decorations:

Newlyweds- We all know these big life events happen in waves. If you have friends getting married before you, check and see what you can get off their hands once they are hitched. We definitely gave decorations away to the Boy's beloved cousin, and our lights to the high school for dances. Your friends will have stuff they are happy to part with. Doesn't perfectly match? Get creative about what you can stretch to fit or change the color of and then offer the rest to others. After your hitched you can pay the favor forward!

On Buy Nothing- Have you joined your local Buy Nothing Project yet? I have seen it all on there- people offering their table runners to other asking for (and receiving) tons of glass vases for their center pieces. Check with your Buy Nothing and you could save 100's of dollars.

Goodwill and other Consignment Stores- Sometimes, this kind of shopping is a bust, but if you know what you need, you might find a steal. Also, lots of cities have craft consignment stores that might sell the ribbon or fabric you need as well.

Online Resale sites- Thank goodness for the internet, because you can now find everything you would ever want to decorate with used. Cheaper, convenient, and keeping things out of landfills? Amazing.

Ruffled is an absolute treasure, and you can find so many gorgeous things on their "Recycle your Wedding" pages. They have at least a thousand items, so it's a lot to go through, but you are sure to find something.  Make sure to check the price against the brand new cost, and don't be afraid to ask them to lower it a little (I mean, what else are they going to do with 100 extra mason jars?) Browse often, because things are going up all the time! You can find a steal on beautiful decorations.I may actually buy some things from them for a non-matrimonial party.

Tradesy- Tradesy started as wedding only, but they have had enough success to branch out. They have all kinds of wedding stuff, from bridesmaid dresses to wedding papers, but their decorations section is especially amazing and well-organized. They have 5,500+ items up right now! Easier to browse than most of the other sites as well. Be sure to join their mailing list so you get even more money off.

Wedding Recycle- This website also has lots of selection (about 3000 items) and they are connected to the Can't Buy me Love Project, where you donate wedding dresses that can be given away to brides who otherwise couldn't afford them. Pretty cool.

So you may be overwhelmed with the amount of money you have already spent nailing down the DJ and planning with the caterer. I don't blame you- weddings are expensive! But decorations is an area that with a little creativity, you can make huge impact with a little bit of money.

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Wedding Wednesday- Where to Donate your Wedding Dress

taken by first blush photos

Whether you got married 3 weeks ago or 30 years ago, you may very well still have your dress sitting in a closet somewhere. This is one of those things that tends to get carried from house to house. Some of us have a lot of emotional attachment to the dress. Some of us have hopes that a family member will want to wear it someday (though I think if you got married during the age of super synthetic dresses, the odds are low). Some of us just don't know how to get rid of it, because throwing it out feels wrong.

Wedding dresses are a pretty environmentally tricky purchase- you spend a lot of money on something that will only be used once. I know I looked at lots of used dresses, but never had the nerve to buy one that way. Now, I think I might have gone about it differently. I did end up with a dress I loved, but in the end, I am not sure it made that huge of a difference.

This blog covers a lot of territory on shopping more ethically, but one of the most eco-friendly things you can do is to have less and to get rid of things in an ethical way. Sure, maybe someday your daughter will want to wear your wedding dress (she won't) but in that time, that dress could have lived multiple lives or multiple weddings. In an ideal world, we would all be way more willing to let things go, because the more used stuff is out there, the more we can all invest in secondhand instead of more brand new stuff that will land in a landfill.

So, the question becomes, where can you offload that wedding dress?

First, you could sell it online for yourself, make a little money back, and help out another bride. Here are some options:

Once Wed was my favorite place to browse dresses, and I think you can resell decor as well. Honestly, if I could do it all again, I would probably buy a dress from here.

Preowned Wedding Dresses is probably the most commonly used, though I tried to sell a dress on here and it never worked out. Still, if you have a recent dress that someone can still go to the store and try on, you might have a lot more luck than I did.

Second, you could donate it to an organization that will sell it secondhand to help make them money (my favorite idea, but you do you). Some ideas:

Adorned in Grace, based in Northern Oregon and Southern Washington, sells bridal and formal wear (so maybe somewhere to donate all those bridesmaid dresses?) to raise money to help women once caught in human trafficking and to raise awareness of the epically huge problem. Pretty awesome cause if you ask me. Your dress gets a second life, AND you get to help other women. So cool. I think I will send a few old prom and bridesmaid dresses their way.

Angel Gowns breaks your heart and makes you feel better about the universe at the same time. These organizations take donated wedding gowns and turn them into dresses for stillborn babies or babies that pass away. If your dress is older and you don't think some of the other organizations would want them, look into the multiple angel gown organizations to give a special gift to parents going through something truly awful.

Brides Across America is incredibly cool because it doesn't sell your dress, it gives it away to a military bride planning their wedding (a big challenge when your fiance is serving far away). This charity has given away wedding gowns to 12,000  brides in events all over the country. What a cool way to say thank you. They only accept dresses five years old or younger, so stop wringing your hands and go for it already.

The Bridal Garden- If you are shopping or donating in the New York City area (looking at you, Kleinfeld shoppers), the Bridal Garden sells wedding dresses to benefit underserved children in the New York area. Give them your dress or start your shopping there instead of the big salons.

Brides for a Cause is a huge and very successful consignment salon that sells their dresses "for charity" It felt a little vague to me (ok, a cause, but which one?), but they do donate to Brides Across America right now, so you are still contributing to a very positive mission by donating your dress to them. I love it.

Brides for Haiti sells your dresses to raise money for Saint Joseph's Parish's charitable work in Haiti. Looks a little trickier in terms of shipping, but otherwise great!

The Brides Project in Toronto sells the donated dresses with the profits all going to cancer charities; this store has already put 600,000 dollars into cancer charities! That's awesome!

Success in Style is a Baltimore-based organization that gives out of work individuals wardrobes to help in their business lives. They have a consignment store to fund their mission, and now they accept wedding gowns for their wedding consignment store Cherie Amor.

Wish Upon a Wedding gifts weddings and vow renewals to men and women (regardless of sexual orientation, which I think is especially important) suffering from terminal illnesses. I am looking around, and I am not positive they still accept dresses, but if you can't donate your dress, you could still sell it and donate the proceeds.

I know I have a dress I bought on super clearance panic(like 70% off?) that has been sitting in a closet since 2012. I am offering it on Buy Nothing, but if there aren't any bites, it is moving on to one of these charities. I am not sure if I am ready to have my wedding dress see the same fate, but I am seriously thinking about it.

When you see all these things your dress can do, it seems like it is really underperforming in your closet, right? I know I struggle with the idea of parting with my dress, and I don't know if I will muster the courage or not, but the more dresses get multiple uses (and do all these wonderful things for people who need them) the better for everyone.

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Ten Things I Wish We Knew Before Making our Baby Registry

Picture Credit- Jenny Bickel Photography

Being prego is obviously exciting, but it also turns out to be a lot of research. It's kind of like trying to prepare for a vacation where you don't know where you are going. It's a shot in the dark, and you can ask around for clues, but you really don't know. When you register for a wedding, you have some vague idea of how to adult, but this is totally different. I know we had no idea what the hell we needed, and my mom showed up the week before the Bub came and filled in a bunch of blanks we hadn't thought of.

Because it's a shot in the dark, we made mistakes, and if I could do it all over again, I would have registered and shopped in such a different way. Learn from my mistakes! This is how I would do it now that I know better:

1. Play the Long Game

 When you are going through it the first time, it can be easy to focus on maybe the next month or so. I mean, we were basically in survival mode for a while. But they grow, and way faster than you are expecting. You can save some money and a whole lot of waste by looking a little further ahead. If you register for baby stuff, ONLY register for 6-9 or 9-12. People will buy you the smaller sizes without encouragement, but those sizes last such a short time (maybe only a month or two), then you look around and you don't have anything to put your baby in. It works this way for everything- the early months seem like you need a lot, but really they are happy with your boob and cuddles, so try to play a longer game.

I will try to point out stuff as we go through the Baby Registry, but off the top of my head, I do recommend registering for larger sizes, bigger bottles and sippy cups, and the larger car seat. That first birthday may seem a long way away right now, but what were you doing a year ago this week? Things move quickly!

And while we are at it, when your nunjas explode and you need a new bra, just buy nursing bras (my suggestion? Bella Materna. Steep but great). When buying maternity clothes, buttoned up chests are perfect. I was back in maternity clothes and expanded stuff for probably the first three months after the Bub was born (they call it the 4th trimester), so that maternity clothes you buy early on can have a lot of use later. Especially if you think ahead.

2.Consignment is your New Best Friend (and You Can Say So)

Before you have a baby, people will tell you they go through things fast, and you kind of get it, but nothing teaches the lesson like when they grow out of their size before you even use all of the super cute outfits you have. 0-3 for us was brutal, because he was out of it by two months. This super quick turnover means somebody spent a bunch of money on nothing.What a waste of money AND clothing! Our country makes tons of textile garbage; the average American throws away 65 pounds of clothing a year- new parents jack up this number. Not only can you save epic amounts of money by buying 80-90% consignment (we save at least half of our clothing budget), but you can minimize that huge pouring into landfills.

The biggest baby clothing companies- Carter's and Gerber- have very sketchy labor policies and environmental impact. And not a thread is stitched in the US. I know before I had the Bub, I poured over Carter's stuff at every store. I picked stuff I loved, and once he was here, I noticed everyone had the same outfits! Trust me, nothing you put your baby in will be cuter than your baby, so you don't have to be "on trend."

If you can buy essentially the same onesie in a kids consignment store for a third of the price, save one more onesie from being in a landfill, and give unethical companies 10 dollars less, it can only be a win. You are making the world a little better for your baby and save SO MUCH money that can go to their future. I only wish I had started sooner.

You shouldn't feel ashamed to let your family know that a great consignment sleeper makes a  completely awesome gift. One of our friends here just put on her invitation that they were trying to cut down their environmental impact, so please buy used clothes for the gift. Will someone roll their eyes? Yes, definitely. But people roll their eyes at me and this blog everyday, and alas, I carry on. This approach to baby clothes will make you more sane, and I promise you will find so much cute stuff.

3. Glass not Plastic- Wood, not Plastic

You will find bottles that claim to be BPA-free, but recent studies show that the BPA substitutes can be just as bad. Plastic is toxic and nasty, so you can do a lot for your child's health by avoiding it whenever possible. Plus, using plastic is just another way to add waste to the world your child will someday inherit from you. We love our Evenflo and Lifefactory glass bottles, and we can reuse them all for as many spawn as we have, then pass them on to someone else to use. No leeching. No contorting in the dishwasher. We even got the Lifefactory sippy lids and use them as sippy cups now.

In the same vein, don't register for toys that have lots of plastic attached- look for wooden teethers and toys instead, because everything will be going in that precious little nugget's mouth before you know it (just watch out for Melissa and Doug, they aren't any better than Fisher Price). They love chewing on everything. Because babies are sometimes assholes who flip your purse and try to eat your change (true story).  Minimize the potentially toxic chemicals by opting out of plastic whenever you can (and hide your pennies).

4. Wipe Warmers= Not Worth it

 You will get so much advice about things you "need" that you may never use (and might melt a piece of your furniture, not that I am bitter or anything). It can be tempting to follow every piece of advice, because you have no idea what the hell you are doing. But preparing for every possibility will leave you broke with a house full of junk you will never use. It's not worth it.

 It's not that you may not need those "needs," but babies, like all people, are greatly individual and variable. Each one comes with their own set of ticks and preferences, and you can wait to see who they are before trying to attend to needs that just don't exist. There will still be stores once your bub arrives, so if you aren't sure, just wait.

5. Neither are 14 Kinds of Swaddle Blankets

You need two kinds. Three if you have cold weather coming.

Muslin blankets for swaddling (Aden and Anais are all the rage, but they aren't ethical. Check this blog for your many options).
Fuzzy blankets if it is cold (I like Swaddle Designs blankets).
And the wonderful handmade blankets your family and friends will make you.

That's it. Don't get conned into the combo kits with swaddles in them. Those swaddle blankets are always crappy anyway. Just avoid sets.

6.There are Eco-friendly and American-made options for everything on your list

 I wish, more than anything, that I had realized how many options I had before I registered for baby. Now that I see him, I want to make the world a little bit better for him every day, and I think a lot of what we bought and registered for earlier on could have had much more positive impact. We got so many "Made in China" Fisher Price things that I see in our baby consignment shop all the time. We wasted so much money on clothes that we would never buy now. We shelled out for toys that he never cared about. We got strollers that were made in China when American-made options were out there.

The truth is, I just never thought about it. I never thought about being eco-friendly, and I just assumed every option was "Made in China." Sure, if I knew that I had a choice between Made in China or America, I would choose America, but I didn't even realize there was an option. Even eco-friendly lists mostly highlight the toxicity you don't want for your child (see- minimize plastic!), and it isn't clear what the most eco-friendly options would be for the world around them.

Options exist. They may not be easy to find, but that's why I am here.

There is always an option. I made the Baby Registry specifically so that these other, so much more eco-friendly, options are clearly available. You can cross check anything on your list with my Eco-Friendly and Made in America Baby Registry to have a registry you can really feel good about. Don't make my mistake!

How many opportunities do you have in life to make a bunch of purchase choices at once? That means you can put all those purchases (by you and your family) towards your baby's needs and your baby's world. These kinds of moments don't come by often. Caring is worth doing, making the switches does good, and you can do this.

7. Don't Be Scared

I am not going to say be confident, you're not an idiot, because most likely you are. Most likely we are too all over again. You are planning for a person you haven't met- there's no way to do that well. There's no reason to know these things, so be sure you have a small army of friends (or one really great one, Rochelle) who already knows what is good.

Ask lots of questions. Ask about wipe warmers. If you ask 3 people and they all say you definitely need something (like a crib or a carrier) you probably do. If there is debate, skip it. If you aren't sure whether you will be a baby wearer or stroller pusher, try to find a wrap used. You can always get something nicer once you know firsthand, but you know yourself and which advice might be worth following. Women chomp at the bit to share baby knowledge, so never be embarrassed to ask other new moms you trust.

Side note, the urge to share advice never goes away, but mommy brain smooths out edges. It's encouraging really that moms look back on things as easier than they were and are (I know it happens, because my toddler has helped block out some miserable infant months of sleep deprivation), but trust me, their kids were not perfect. Grain of salt it, because those memories are sea glass.

You will learn it all so soon. No need to overcompensate because you aren't sure yet. You got this.

8. Join a Buy Nothing Group. Don't Have one? Start one

Since joining Buy Nothing when The Bub was five or six months old, our family has probably saved at least 700 dollars we would have spent. We have received almost all of the Bub's toys, a playplace in the backyard (didn't end up working out, but still), a dining room table, swim diapers, and tons of clothes. I imagine we have saved much more than that. That's a plane ticket. We have also given away that much in stuff, which means our house is never quite as bogged down by baby stuff.

I can't tell parents enough- join your local Buy Nothing group.

Don't have one where you are? Check and see if there is a freecycle group or another option. But really, make the world (and your community) better by starting one. It's a pain upfront, but by the time baby is eating solids, you will have a huge resource at your fingertips.

Babies create a constant turnover in stuff, and joining a Buy Nothing means that you are connected to parents with slightly older and slightly younger children. It means someone has what you need or someone needs what you no longer want, and you can connect easily (and meet! So nice). Even when you don't have anything you need that day, it will make your life better. It's like having random acts of mommy kindness on your newsfeed everyday.

9. Play the Even Longer Game

 Planning on spawning more than once? Then you aren't registering for your baby, you are registering for your babies. Resist the urge to register for anything gender-specific (trust me, someone will get you a sexist, heteronormative, and lame onesie anyway) or made so cheaply it couldn't possibly make it through multiple spawn (looking at you, Gerber- every onesie we got has holes in it now).

We are looking down the barrel at infant #2, and we really don't need much. People keep saying it is because we are having another boy spawn, but the real trick is to buy (and register for) as many versatile pieces as you can. We gave about half Bub One's clothes away when he grew out of them, and gender neutral pieces always made the A team that stayed. As we got better at it, the clothes also mostly avoid too specific gender connotations. Buy stuff that isn't junk (see also; made in America) and don't monogram it or something silly like that.

10. Trix are for Kids. Diaper Bags are for Grown Ups

Baby stuff is so cute. No debating it. And it can be tempting to opt for a diaper bag that looks as adorable as everything else on your list. Don't match the bag to the task, match the bag to your style. If you are cutesy and such, by all means get the bag with Winnie the Pooh or ducks on it. For the rest of us, register for something that looks like a bag you would carry everyday for the next two years of your life. Because that is what you are actually dealing with.

My favorite recommendation is a bag from Oliday, because I had one of their camera bags and it lasted so long. They are simple and neutral, but they also offer backpack options, which does make life way easier as the bub gets bigger.  Tom Bihn makes a well-loved and sportier option. Christy Studio has simple options too. There are so many out there, so be sure to get something you love. Best case scenario, you only have to buy one.




Ah, life experience and wisdom. I wish I had more, but hopefully this is at least a little bit helpful for the expectant moms and dads out there. Do better than I did! And do it for that tiny person, because eventually you will be fond of them, and therefore won't want them to be the boneless garbage people in Wall-E. Please, help me keep our world from being the world in Wall-E. Cute robots aren't worth it.

Interested in more Ethical, Green, and Made in America shopping? Check out my Giant List of Shopping Lists to find all kinds of cool shopping alternatives!

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