Wedding Wednesday- Unique, Eco-Friemdly, and Reusable Cake Topper Ideas

I love a cake topper at a wedding. Part of this is that you just can't be mad about anything cake-related. The other reason is that even if you are at the most straightforward or traditional couple, you can still show a little bit of who you are with this detail. To me, the best weddings are undeniably the couple.

Weddings are a hotbed of waste, and even these details can be pretty wasteful. Anything that you only use or see for only one day is essentially wasteful. I mean, what happens to all those cake toppers after the honeymoon? Ours, which is such a sweet piece from Lollipop Workshop (I swear it wasn't that expensive, but it probably was), lives in a little glass dome in our dining room, but I have never noticed cake toppers up in many homes.

good luck, honey. thaat's a long life ahead of you. from Pieceofcaketoppers4u

So what happens to most cake toppers? Please tell me people aren't putting those horrible ones with the bride dragging the groom up in their house somewhere. You dragged him to the wedding and now you are dragging hi though life? Poor life choices.

Rather than buying something generic, this is the perfect opportunity to buy something local or made in America. People have all kinds of amazingly creative ideas out there. Plus, if you have something in mind, I bet you can find someone to bring it to life (or make somehting yourself- you can do it!). Some etsy toppers are expensive, but many are no more than what you would buy in the store. Step one of an eco-friendly topper is to buy or make something that hasn't traveled far.

So these are my best ideas for having a cake topper that you love, that is true to you as a couple, and doesn't spend the rest of your marriage in storage somewhere. Basically, how can you make a cake topper environmentally responsible AND awesome?

from Mr and Mrs Cake Toppers

1. Use Something you Already Love 

This could be anything. Maybe you have picked up trinkets on travels or collect something together. It could be any items you own (that fit on a cake and aren't completely unsanitary), and if it is important to you already, all the better. Do you get salt shakers on vacation? Use those! Collect erotic Precious Moments figurines? Sounds memorable! Wear each other's blood in vials? Please don't put that on the cake, but you get the idea. This idea will cost you nearly no money, can bring in a little more of your real life to the big day, and they can head back to their original purpose (with a little extra honor) once you are wed.

from Ever After Products

Now, you could go two ways with this. Either, leave them as is for a perfectly cool topper, OR dress them up in marital garb to make something no one has seen before (but might not fit as well with a collection). I am obsessed with ones like these gussed up dinosaur toys or these incredibly cool personalized funko pop dolls that ight fit perfectly in some bride or groom's already existing collection (you can be on a shelf with all of your favorite characters, for goodness sake).

from goose grease

2. Pick a Topper with its Future Spot in Mind

I think it would be cool to have your topper on a bedside table, as bookends on your shelf, or as a focal point on a dining room table or mantel. If you shop with the style of your home in mind, you could see your cake topper as a reminder of your wedding everyday (also, a reminder that cake is delicious). Using it as decor in your house is way more subtle and fun than the giant wedding picture. Not that it isn't great too, but this is a different approach. I think these wood peg doll toppers would look sweet and understated as part of your decor, and they aren't so precious or delicate that you have to hide them away. Check etsy for peg toppers, because they really are great.

from Wooden Heart Buttons

My favorite store for this might be Wooden Heart Buttons- a former cake decorator got sick of the expensive plastic toppers coming through and started making toppers with eco-friendly materials specifically intended to be used as decor in your home after the big day. Check them all out- they are beautiful.

from Juniper and Ivy

The laser cut toppers with text or silhouettes are on trend right now, and they could potentially look great in a frame or shadowbox on your wall for a very long time.  If you do go that route, be careful to pick something that is timelessly YOU. The "eat me" toppers are cute, but do you want that on your wall? Also, I'd go wood over plastic- it will look better in most cases (and you can more easily adjust it to fit in a frame)..

from Life Ephemera

3. Look for a Vintage Gem

 Are you a heterosexual Aryan couple that enjoys the good old days? There are already tons of little porcelain white people waiting for you. It doesn't have to be as vanilla as these people, and you can use vintage items to save money and minimize your wedding's footprint. You can get a basic vintage wedding topper for 10-15 dollars. Cheaper than the basic cake toppers available at Walmart, and it's that much less plastic being purchased. Some of these have more personality than others, but it can be a fun and eye-catching option.

from Protector of Vintage

This couple is really committed... to their eyebrows.

from Bean Jean Julie

These two look too old and too young at once- what state allows ancient babies to marry?

from Design Room 3

Love this one. They look like they want to kiss, but just can't figure out what to do next.

Jokes aside, if you are having a wedding with vintage flair, why not poke around and get something that is actually vintage?You can find all sorts of figurines and save the world from ne more object just sitting in an attic somewhere.

from bridal guide

4. Get Something that can have a New Life after the Wedding

 My brother-in-law and sister-in-law had a lego cake topper. They also have a basement full of legos. The topper was true to them, for sure. If you aren't ridiculously sentimental like I am, you can get a cake topper like this that you can actually take apart and use again! If you have kids, toys make a lot of sense. If you are handy, could you use tools? Good in the kitchen? How about a salt and pepper set you can use? It just has to have some use value once you are in your new normal life.

from uncorked and unrewined

5.  Recycled Toppers

 If you can't think of something with a practical life after the wedding, why not get a topper that had a life before? It is a wonderful world. Don't believe me? Look up "recycled cake toppers" on Etsy. Maybe some won't be your style, but one could be exactly right. They take trash and turn it into something you will treasure for the rest of your life. That's pretty cool. Can't find the perfect thing? You could also make it yourself! Get inspired and you can really put yourself out there.

from The Lost Key

I want to go to this steampunk wedding. And 40 dollars? That's a steal from The Lost Key.

from Ready Go

Ready Go makes cake toppers out of recycled cardstock. They are simple and lovely, and you could totally frame it afterward (recycled and reused? You win!). I do love their simplicity, and I think they look sweet without being saccharine or boring. You can also add children for blended families and even get personalized coloring book pages.

from wedding chicks

6. Just Skip It Completely

You know what cake without a topper is? Cake, so it is still the best thing ever, If tracking down the perfect topper seems like a waste of time or money to you, then just don't have one! And feel glad you are getting married at a time where almost every tradition is flexible. Never waste energy or money on the junk you don't care about, because why even throw the party if you aren't enjoying it?

Will I miss the topper? Yes, but there will still be cake. So I will still be happy.

Want more eco-friendly wedding ideas? I have TONS of them! You can make your wedding environmentally responsible by reducing waste, minimizing purchases, and buying items that have life beyond that big day.

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9 Things for the Last 9 Days- Starting the Fall with the Bub

 1. Baby Handprint Ornaments-  We did these with the Bub too, and what I like most about them is that when I look at them, I can still hear the screams. I kid, sort of. Wow, my children hate doing them, but I didn't much enjoy labor, so it seems fair. They both produce something cute, and I like that these are basically the first of many sentimental art projects they will hate doing. Sorry boys, I am your mother and you are stuck with me.

2. Show me your Mumu- I am in a wedding later this year and have been on the hunt for a flattering dress, Made in America, of a certain length and color. Easy right? Well, I have found a bunch that fit the bill thanks to this company Show me your Mumu that still manufactures in the USA and has dresses so flattering and chic your bridesmaids might actually love them. I wish they had been around when we got married,

 3. This Year's Walk to End Alzheimer's- I didn't think I would be able to go, so I was especially glad to be there. I was also happy to do the walk with my in-laws, because the tradition is really about my husband's family, so it made it more special to share in the chaos with them. I also thought this year was in the nicest spot so far in Seattle, and it felt like it had a really enthusiastic and positive energy (last year didn't, but it was a much wetter and greyer day).

4. Breastfeeding in Seattle Center Surrounded by People- Just add it to my list of weird places where the boobs have been out. I don't think people cared, and I love my covered goods breastfeeding cover for being a nice scarf to just wear as well as a cover for everything. I can already see how people with 2 children lose steam for getting out in the world, but I want the new baby to keep getting out there too, so tools like these really help.

5. Fall- I could not be happier that fall is here. For me, this season feels like a fresh start, everything smells good, and the world is covered in color. I get to wear layers and put decorations up, so I can't complain about life right now. Seotember October, and November are the best. Excited for The Baby Bear's first fall, because his bright eyes just drink everything in.

6. Wall-E- You hear a lot about little ones liking Finding Nemo or Cars, but The Bub has just been captivated by Wall-E. You know that Pixar rocks what they do when a two year old is totally enamored from the first minute. I love that movie in general, but I love it even more now.

7. Green Onion and Recycled Plastic- Who would have guessed we would have a kid so granola that he likes sitting, eating his garden green onions, on that all-recycled plastic bench. Different than the life I thought my kids would have, but I like when things are happy and slow like this. 

8. Our First Homemade Pesto- The Boy made it with his mom, and it makes my life. I feel excited and proud that at the end of this summer, we weren't totally defeated by the "growing your own food" garden experiment. We certainly aren't self-sufficient, but it is still cool to make applesauce, pesto, chimichurri and more with the plants from our own yard. If nothing else, everyone should have a herb garden. It has saved us so much money!

9. Barb- Yes, we are finally watching Stranger Things. Yes, it is as good as everyone says. We are only halfway, but the third episodes is one of the best episodes of any television show I have seen ever. People talk about the show in terms of Spielberg and nostalgia, but you could also bring iconicity into the conversation. How do you choose details that are striking enough that they stick immediately? Because that is what is happening here, and the icon of my heart is Barb. In a world full of Nancies, be a Barb.

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Wedding Wednesday- 10 (Eco-friendly) Ways to be the Favorite Shower Guest

In one lifetime, most women will go to a LOT of bridal showers. Some will be of women who absolutely own our hearts. Others will be for our boyfriend's cousin's fiance where we will awkwardly sit in the corner. Either way, there will be a registry, and there will be a long chunk of shindig where we watch the bride, groom, or both open gifts.

So, how does bridal showering change when you are trying to be eco-friendly or buy local?

It can be a challenge. The couple gets to make an exact list of what they want, and if it turns out to be full of Made in Elsewhere junk that hurts your heart to buy, you can really feel stuck between compromising your own priorities or being the jerk buying decorative birdhouses.

These are my best ideas of how to be an awesome guest, how to break the mold enough to be interesting, but not so much that you are the one they tell stories about later. You can kick ass at bridal showering and stay eco-friendly! Here's how:

1. Pair the Personal with the Practical- Something small and personal makes for the most memorable gifts. One of our friends gave us a little stone with our faces painted on as a wedding gift. It is still one of my favorites. I also received two quilts and a blanket that I love and continue to be in use at our house. If you know the wedding colors or something they might need for the wedding, you could go that route. We received some things that were thoughtful, but not that useful (a lot of decorative platters) and some that were practical but not personal, but if you can combine registry desires with a personalized theme or something you made yourself, you can really nail the gift.

2. Forget Adulting, Put in for the Honeymoon- Looking at the registry and having trouble finding an eco-friendly option? Ugh, that smarts. The couple may be equally happy to accept money OR if you want to go big, ask after their honeymoon and put money specifically toward that. Wedding showers are especially all about practicality, and that can become a drag, so see if you can't invest in a cool memory for them on their trip.

There are registries specific for honeymoon funds, but even if they don't have one, I bet they will love the help. I know one of my friends skipped out on the activity she most wanted to do, because it was too expensive. In retrospect, I wish I could have skipped the wedding/shower gift and put money in for that. Stuff is just stuff, but making new and amazing memories can fuel a marriage.

3. Come Prepared to Have Fun- You want to give your bride a gift? Have a great time. The hosts can only prepare so much- once you get to a party, the fun of the shindig depends on all of the guests. Time to play silly games? Go into it with Olympic intensity to make it awesome. Small talking with the bride's crazy relatives? Lean in, my friend. Don't sit in the corner, only hang out with your people, or worst of all, let someone else be uncomfortable or alone.

At a wedding, in my expert opinion, you are contractually obligated to start the bride and groom's marriage off with a full dance floor and happy faces. Do the shower version of that.

4. Write a Good Note- Showers can be overwhelming events where the bride or groom doesn't get the time they hope for with each guest (I know I felt that way). No matter what you decide to gift, a thoughtful note and some encouragement might be the best gift you can give. Write something personal and genuine, and you could very well make his or her day when they can really go through things without an audience.

5. Skip the Lingerie- No one wants to open something seedy with all of their aunts watching. Maybe someone does, but if you aren't sure that is that bride, just skip it. If you want to do something romantic, buy some gift certificates to local restaurants and invest in some date nights. Seriously, underwear gifts are way more weird than clever.

6. Go in Together for One Gift- Don't hate- collaborate! You may not have the.budget for a really fabulous gift, but you could go in with other guests to go big. We get into this idea that more gifts= better gifts, but there is something to be said for a gift they may not be able to afford themselves. They can go buy a kitchen clock themselves, but a new set of knives might be way out of reach. Not to mention, this gesture might save them from the long, awkward present-opening part of the shindig, which is a lot of pressure.

You can do this two ways- collect money anonymously, and figure out what you an buy with it. Or, pick something first and let people donate with knowledge of the endpoint. Spend less time worrying whether the generosity is equal- it's not a competition.

7. Take Pictures- Ok, maybe this seems silly, but I think one of the best things you can do for a couple on the path to getting married (or having a baby) is to be positive, enthusiastic, and to help document any and all festivities. You get to the other end of things and can feel like it slipped through your fingers, so some pictures from others helps them have a fuller perspective on these days and all of the good stuff happening. It costs you no money, minimal time, and can really be so sweet and thoughtful.

8. Make the Switch or Get out of the Box- Not excited about the registry? You can try to do a switch out using my suggestions on The Eco-Friendly and Made in America Wedding Registry. Don't see anything that speaks to you? What are some other things they will definitely need? What about movie tickets or some other kind of date night? Gift cards for take out places with their menus? A cheese of the month club. Invest in the memories they will make as a couple! Or go a totally different route and cut out a practical concern for them- give them all the quarters they will ever need for laundry with The Simply Co soap and dryer balls. Get them all the tissues they will ever need and a throw blanket for sick days. Get them Amazon Prime or a netflix subscription. By shifting your paradigm to less concrete gifts, you can really come up with something cool.

9. Buy 3 Used Gifts Instead of One New One- This is true for baby showers too- some things on registries (measuring cups, anything glass, kitchen tools) are ALWAYS for sale in consignment and antique stores. Still look at what they want, but get something a little more special and a LOT more cost-effective. You can get 4 kitchen tools at Goodwill for the same cost as one from Bed Bath and Beyond. Way to help them fill up that kitchen AND reduce waste!

10. It's All About Them- Sometimes you know the bride or groom better than others; it is well worth it to keep who they are in mind before you go for it. Maybe they are the kind of people who would LOVE practical gifts like a year's worth of paper towels and toilet paper- think of the drudgery they can skip! Other people would hate it. If you aren't sure, call one of those numbers on the RSVP line and ask them. If it still seems risky, do 60% what they said they want and 40% something a little riskier.

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Fourth Anniversary Inspiration- Fruit and Flower Gift Ideas

I love a theme, and the marriage anniversary gift guidelines are both hilariously arbitrary and super fun to take on as a challenge. Every year so far, we have done decorating, food, and our gifts to another level by just following the weirdly wonderful list of suggestions.

For the first year, we made paper decorations like the ones at our wedding (we have enough tissue paper to last a lifetime). For gifts, we exchanged a paper clock and scratch off maps.
For the second year, we rocked it with a cotton sheet tent in our room, where we camped out, watched Top Chef, and did not exchange cotton robes.
For the third year, we ate steak. Well, he ate steak. I covered our house in cows and compromised my cow-loving morals. We exchanged leather photo albums and luggage tags.

It may seem like a silly tradition, but I firmly believe that the key to appreciating life (and having a happy one), is making a big deal about the good things. You can't do anything to stop bad things from happening, but giving the good equal weight, attention, time, and creativity  In my life, The Boy is probably my single favorite life decision, so I am going to make a big deal out of our anniversary week. That doesn't mean forking over lots of dough, just killing it on the theme.

This year's theme? Fruit and Flowers. 

After last year's leather-clad meatfest, this year's theme seems pretty tame. You can also tell that motivation to rock the theme is waning, because both Pinterest and Etsy don't have many suggestions. Pinterest has roses made of bacon and some fruit puns.

 Etsy is mostly selling various roses out of every material you can think of. Also, a t-shirt that says "She still puts up with me after 4 years"- really? This needs to be said after 4 years- how awful are you? Let's not pat her on the back just yet. Four years seems very early to be bragging (maybe that's why no one goes all out for this anniversary- not fresh enough to be fun, not established enough to feel like an accomplishment?).

So, I would never advocate for people to buy something as useless as a metal rose or as embarrassing as that t-shirt. This anniversary feels like a totally wasted creative opportunity out there- sure, sweet and floral sounds feminine, but this really feels like an anniversary about planting things that grow.

Please friend, just don't buy a vase, floral scented candles, or a bouquet from the grocery store. You can get something more useful than that!

So some ideas that would work for either gender...

Something that Grows

 I can see the instinct to go for the bouquet of flowers or edible arrangement when fruit and flowers are the theme, but consider something that will still be growing for future anniversaries as well. Because no one needs another vase, but we could all use more fresh air.

We may not think of flowers and fruit as gifts that persist, but a lilac bush could fill your yard with the best smell ever for years. You have to keep taking care of a raspberry bush or an herb garden (if you don't have much space, you may still have room to grow), but isn't that more like marriage? It always takes a little upkeep, but you get a lot more from it than you would a bouquet long gone by your 5th anniversary.

My best gift idea for this anniversary is to plant or grow something that matters to you and your partner. You could even do it together as the celebration!

A Little Garden Glamour

from West Wind Home Garden

A Planter Box, Decorative Stones, Garden Gnome, or even one of those magic balls would be so cool and funny. Really what says romance more than a garden gnome? PhenomeGnome has quite the selection of classy guys waiting to grace your garden. These balls from Uncommon Goods have really unique designs and I think they light up at night from solar power as well. Made in Canada from recycled glass, so that might be a perfect.

For stepping stones, it doesn't get much cuter than these turtle stones. I can totally imagine the gardens where they would look adorable. When I started looking for garden stones, the vast majority were animal gravestones. Maybe not for an anniversary, but you can find better options. Then it was all for something called "fairy gardens." So maybe you don't do stepping stones on Etsy.

My favorite might be these penny flower stakes for Uncommon Goods- they are made from recycled/ upcycled materials in the US, and they are just so super cute.

from 3D Uni Print

Don't have a big garden to guss up? You could still get a planter! You can't help but love the bulbasaur planters that are all over Etsy, just be sure you are getting one that is a non-ridiculous size (or try a dinosaur planter- cool recycling). Convivial Production sells a hanging basket that somehow looks modern and reminds me of my Grandma's house all at once. For something really original, check out these amazing necklaces at Wearable Planter. Lastly, I love this planter troth from one of my favorite Etsy stores- Andrew's Reclaimed- made of all reclaimed wood. Would be perfect if you want your own little herb garden!

Somewhere to Stop and Smell the Roses

We bought a bench as our big gift for this anniversary- it may sound a little lame, but I am psyched about it. We got a bench from Polywood, so it is made of recycled plastic in the United States. They have gliders too! I love this company even more now- the bench was pretty easy to put together (The Bubba was just so helpful) and it looks even better in person than online.

It is one of those things that looks perfect in its spot in our yard (and it will be so nice for practical moments and sitting together), but with such a long list of to do's, I bet we wouldn't have gone for it for a very long time. I am writing stores on Etsy to try to get a fun plaque for it as well (still debating what to have it say). It's a place to stop in our garden, when in general we just go go go, so I am excited about that little bit of quality time together.

Juicy Fruit

Fruit, when you think about it, is a pretty low maintenance food. You motly eat it raw. You could get a juicer if you think it would get a lot of use (but I can't find one made in the USA- phooey). Microplane sells American-made zesters, which have turned out to be very handy in our house.

from Golem Designs

I can think of two other fruit tools in the kitchen- a fruit bowl or a strainer to wash berries in. I love ones that are a little bit open, like this modern one from Golem Designs and this stunner from Nings Wonder World. This concrete fruit bowl from Rough Fusion looks very sophisticated.

I love this berry buddy from Uncommon Goods- it looks great, is made in Pennsylvania, and it would work perfectly if you are big berry-eating family (like we are). Lots of Etsy ceramicists like Mark's Pottery, Shady Grove Pottery, and Loma Prieta Pottery make berry strainers as well. Want to do something more cost effective? You can also find really cool vintage ones on Etsy or get the strainer from Preserve- made in the USA with recycled materials!

And For Something Truly Not Romantic...

So most of these gift ideas have been at least a little romantic, but the theme does lend itself to getting something practical off your list. Gosh, that is so the 4th year of marriage. Still, if you (or your partner) feel lighter with another to do biting the dust, this might be fun (but go on a romantic date or something- life can't be all practical).

If you still need something bought or something done for your outdoor space, this might be the perfect opportunity to focus on that. Whether you live in a stand alone house or a rented apartment, you may enjoy some outdoor space more with a little boost. Maybe you want a swing for your porch or a hanging tomato garden for your patio. Maybe your porch needs repainted or the stairs need fixed. This can be a perfect opportunity to tackle something together and to put a little attention into spaces that can be forgotten.

Good Ideas from Amazon

One of the least romantic options for this would be a composter. It's kind of like a pretty vase, but you put the flowers in after they are dead. It may seem really boring or lame, but you can keep making great soil for you yard this way and save so much from a landfill. A banana peel in a kitchen garbage bag may never decompose. In your composter, it will in a week. So eco-friendly and it will save you money too! If you have the room, Good Ideas makes great composters, but if you need something a little smaller, check out this Envirocycle one.

Idlyc from Amazon

Not yard people? No worries! You could also get totally unromantic about your grocery shopping. Rather than using those plastic produce bags which are used once and then shipped to the landfill, you could get produce and grocery bags to shop with! Honestly, we just use a reusable grocery bag and throw everything into one bag. Why not? We are just going to wash it all when we get home anyway, so what are the little bags protecting them from? Hot peppers are the only thing that gets their own bag.

Fruit and Flower Art

Both fruit and flowers are the subject of lots of cool prints and paintings, so you could also buy something to help decorate your kitchen.

from Jessica Haas Designs

My favorite of all of these are seasonal food calendars- we bought one of these ones from Jessica Haas Designs for our house, and it can really help you keep track of what is good when at a local level (I just wish we had a cheat sheet for which fish are pictured). I have lusted over this garden chart from Little Low literally for years, but we don't have room in our kitchen, so it just sits in my Etsy cart. For years. No joke. Someone get it- it's so pretty. They have all sorts of beautiful prints, so check out this store. Also try- Lucile's Kitchen, Cactus Club, lh print shop, Season's Gleanings, and Lou Paper.

This map from artist Wendy Gold turns the whole world into bouquets of flowers. This is so pretty, and it reminds me of Napoleon's wife who had a huge collection of gorgeous botanical drawings. May be the perfect piece for a mudroom or office.

If you want to gift something really different, these stained glass panels are both geometric and organic. I love that they are made in Kentucky, and it could look perfect in your window.

Ok, these are my best ideas, what are yours? How do you make a gift thoughtful, fun, and useful all at the same time!? It's a tall order, but I believe it can be done!

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Throwback Thursday- 10 Perfect First Birthday Gifts

 One of the unexpected things about having a baby is that you end up with a gaggle of baby friends. This turns out to save your sanity, but for the first time ever, we are looking down the barrel of a first birthday party season. My niece will turn one at the end of the month, so we are starting to look for her as well. The first of the birthday parties is in a few weeks (and they last until into December), but unlike wedding season, we are not seasoned vets.

 We don't know what we are doing! Having a baby only sort of helps!

For first birthdays before, I think we got the babies clothes? Probably niceish clothes because I figured that it's easier to splurge if you aren't responsible for the whole wardrobe. I know I bought my niece Aubrey a purple tutu which she preferred to wear on her head (in my defense, that's some damn foresight, because she woulud love it as a kindergartener)! Now as a parent, I have some ideas of what might make good gifts (most of which we own, so I can vouch for them).

Replay from Amazon

1. Eating Tools, Snack Storage, and Sippy Cups- Toys make great or at least cute presents, but as a mom, I now live in fear of them taking over our house. I feel like if the first birthday party truly celebrates the survival of the parents, help them continue to survive by buying actually useful things while the baby is too small to care anyway. These little ones will quickly grow out of their veggie mush and baby bottles, so getting the next phase of eating stuff could be fun and helpful! It may not seem like a fun gift, but the Bub carried around a spoon for two+ hours today, so he would tell you differently. Sometimes these simple gifts which are useful to the parent can be the most interesting to a curious little one year old.

Green Eats sells all recycled, Made in the USA silverware set that we already use all the time with our adventurous eater. The spoons are my favorite. They also makes all kinds of bright, affordable, and earth-friendly plates and bowls.

I think Re-play has the best selection of sippy cups, some of which we might buy for the Bub. They have some really simple sets that I think would be perfect (and are clearly well-loved). If the baby or his/her parents are obsessed with their lifefactory glass bottles (like I am), you could get them the sippy cup tops, so those same bottles can last multiple years (I think you owuld have to be pretty close to know that). If you want something with a little more pizazz, maybe get them one of these cute Lollaland bird sippy cups!

I know buying people snack storage may sound like the absolute worst, but I think this might be the ultimate first birthday gift. Awesome for the parents, fun for the baby, good for the Earth that baby will one day inherit. We have these stackable containers from Kids Konserve, and we use them every day to lug around cheerios and raisins (The Bub enjoys using them to bang on things on the daily). I can't even imagine how many zip loc bags we will bypass just with these three little cylinders of greatness. I would love to receive a second set or even a different snack set like this Snack Stack from Re-play, because I know things get lost, but I am hopeful we can use these throughout his cheerio-laden early years.

2. Clothes- If you want to give a kickass gift of clothing, I have two very important tips for you. First, buy in a variety of sizes (12-18, 18-24, and 2T maybe?), because parents of babies are always thinking ahead to the next size. Second, buy basics and one cool thing, avoid cutesy sets or outfits that can't really be used on a regular basis. We always need pants, socks, and pajamas. We are in less need of baby suits or foofy dresses (moms of girls please let me know what you think is most useful). We have no need for anything that says "Daddy's Future Accountant" or the like. Babies are cute on their own, so you don't have to point out how cute they are.

About 90-95% of the Bub's wardrobe is used (either a gift from my amazing cousin or bought in consignment), and I know I would think it was cool if people bought clothing items at places like these for gifts. For example, you can buy one super cute button up onesie on the Gap for about 30 bucks. Or you can buy 5 or 6 of them in consignment for the same amount of money. You can get a lot more bang for your buck!

Like I said, I loved buying the babies I knew cute things from the Gap, because they really do have adorable stuff. But they aren't ethical at all. They waste fossil fuel travelling a long way and have pretty unimpressive labor standards. Now, I've replaced their clothes with adorable (and completely reasonably priced) basics from LA-Made American Apparel and City Threads or fair trade companies like Pact.

from Garbella on Etsy

 If you want to get something with a bit more impact, you have lots of great options as well! Winter Water Factory makes one pieces, pajamas, and dresses in really unique adorable prints.

On Etsy, you can get all kinds of baby leggings that are basically the cutest things ever. If Etsy trends are any indication, all toddlers will be wearing these- my favorite came from Lola and Stella, but you can also find cool designs at Hazel and Holly, Haus of Zoe, Hold You Me, Skuttlebum, and Lucky Palm Tree.

Baby Bear Threads,  Garbella, Oh Little Rabbit, and First Love Threads sell adorable t shirts and onesies. Garbella won my heart with their pierogi onesies. I am slightly obsessed with the baby clothes (especially the cuffed jeans) at Mabel Retro out of Vancouver. Lindsey Lee sells super cute Dino hoodies that might be perfect.

 I can't speak for other moms, but I freaking love baby hats and hair stuff, so I feel like this would make for a fun gift. You can get hats for bubs their size in basically every design known to man- pineapple, Yoda, viking, lions, truly anything.  I also love the turban headbands that are very in right now and keep unruly little girls' hair in line (though in general, I support unruly little girls' anything). Haus of Zoe, Hazel and Holly, miniwhatnots, Princessory, Lucky Palm Tree,

 
3. Bubbles- They easily fit in your diaper bag and are endly fascinating to small people. Not expensive, but sometimes the simplest gift is the one that kicks everything else's ass. I think bubbles are the gift that makes the baby ignore all the fancy plastic Fisher Price nonsense. A perfect little addition to any gift. 

Uncle Goose on Amazon

4. Uncle Goose Nursery Rhyme Blocks- This company sells many great sets of good old fashioned wooden blocks, all of which would make a beautiful gift, but I LOVE our nursery rhyme blocks, because it opens up multiple avenues for play and learning at once. We can build towers and I read the nursery rhymes off the block as we do it (I forgot them all). I imagine Uncle Goose as Mother Goose's kid brother, so it serves reason that he make this spectacularly cool block set for those of us who need a nursery rhyme refresher. They also make regular alphabet blocks and ones in other languages for all the bilingual babies out there!

5. Books- If you want to buy board books, I recommend looking at children's consignment stores first, because board books are almost all printed elsewhere. If you want something tactile, you can get soft quiet books at Etsy stores like Rose in Bloom Creations. On the other hand, most regular children's books are still printed in the US, so you can support children's writers, illustrators, and publishers. Books never get old as a gift, as the Bub and I read at least 3 books a day (2 are the same and 1 of those is epically stupid, but he loves it).It's a gift that benefits everyone. And don't get goodnight moon, because every one year old you know already has it. Same with that book meant just to make moms cry.

 I would recommend going to a local bookstore for recommendations- there are still kids bookstores lots of places and lots of people have very helpful opinions to share. There are so many children's books out there, and many of them prove just how hard it is to write children's books. I am no expert, but a few of our favorites so far are The Pout Pout Fish, Giraffes Can't Dance, Pigeon Wants a Puppy, and The Monster at the End of this Book. Dr. Seuss never gets old. We also love all the Little Critter books, The Day the Crayons Quit, and a bunch of books left over from when I was a kid. Going to show, for the millionth time, that kids could care less if something is new.

6. Date Night Gift Card (and babysitting?) for the Parents- Happy parents = happy baby. It's another one of those gifts that encourages family survival, so I am all about it. I have thought about putting a coupon for one night of free babysitting in each of the birthday cards, because sometimes people need a reason to go for it, but a dinner out (or going to a movie, do you know how much new parents miss going to the movies?) might make a perfect gift!

Green Toys on Amazon

7. Green Toys Tug Boat, Airplane, or Kitchen Set- When I found out we were having a boy, I had waking nightmares of trucks, hot wheels, and Larry the Cable Guy as an old truck. Eeek! Still, if you are going to get the little one some toys (even horrifying ones with wheels), it won't get better than Green Toys. These gems are made in the US out of recycled plastic. With that much good behind them, it's hard to fight with a convertible or boat or helicopter, no matter how tedious I find masculinity in general. I personally love this kitchen set, and am plotting the basket it could live in on ou kitchen floor underneath a desk (A+ parenting, but he likes it back there).

We have 2 Green Toys so far, and they remain beloved by Baby and mother alike. If you want to go the toy route, these are a homerun. I also love their kitchen sets, which we may start getting for the baby to play with while we cook.

If you have another plasticy gift you are dying to give, may I suggest trying Buy Nothing or thrift shopping before you get it? Fisher Price is just the worst for the environment, so even if their toy is oh so cute, it may not be worth it.

8. Shutterfly Gift Certificate- I have an addiction, so this feels a little like shouting into the wind that I want cake (I do! I always want cake!), but I think that this makes a good gift for anyone who spawned, because they took lots of pictures in the last year. Shutterfly offers lots of products, but even if they just want to put their instagram pictures into an album, the site makes that happen pretty easily.

from Amazon

9. A First Wagon or Outdoor Toy- I think my mother-in-law buys a wagon for first birthdays (I could be wrong!), and it's a rock solid gift idea, because they will probably need one in the coming year, and children love them. My son loves putting things in things and taking them out over and over again. Those little red wagons are all made in China, so let's look at some other options- Berlin has a wood wagon made in the US. If you want a plastic one, Step2 wagons are listed as Made in the USA and look like the kind of thing you take to a parade.

Other outdoor toys can be real winners as well- Little Tykes still makes about half of their stuff in the US (be sure to check if this matters to you). We have one of their little cars at my Nana's house that was a hand me down when she got it 20 years ago, and it is still a grandchild favorite. So this could make for an awesome gift? Even cooler? Buy an old faded one and refinish it in colors all their own!

Bears for Humanity found on Amazon

10. This Teddy Bear- After doing my research for the babies in our life, this teddy bear and something practical may be the winning combination. The fact that Bears for Humanity even exists makes me feel better about the world. They are made in the US and their filling is even recycled, but best of all, for every bear that is bought, another is donated to a kid in need. You are basically making 2 little ones happy with one purchase. You can get the 20 dollar bears or they have larger 40 dollar ones.  I just love the idea, and I feel like it is doing good on so many levels, so I think we will do this and see how they land. I will let you know, but I highly recommend this if you are thinking about something soft and loveable. This is just awesome.

I would also recommend puppets- we bought an eagle at the consignment store, and our son loves him. Bizarrely, even, because that eagle is always getting kisses. How about a kiss for your mama? I gave you life, for goodness sake.

If you are looking for more gift ideas, shops like Muse and Scripts Gift Co offer all artisan-made, made in America, or ethical gifts. Good places to browse and wish you could buy them all!

Parents of tots, what do you think a perfect first birthday gift is? Do you have one you particularly remember? 

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6 Things I am Grateful for (But not Exactly Excited About) for the Last Two Days

1. When guys publicly claim feminism- Someone sent me this clip on Tuesday after we talked about my questions/ concerns/ excitement for raising a boy as a feminist. I am not saying that celebrity endorsements (or dismissals) of feminism should be mistaken for anything overly important, but I think it is valuable to have people we perceive as cool be non-chalant, yet smart about their personal stakes in feminism. And can I say, in the face of this truly awful summer where women have been treated as pawns by a number of radical conservative fronts (Isis, Boko Haram, even the increasingly violent radical pro-lifers), you have to ask, conservative or liberal, why you wouldn't be a feminist. I can't imagine anyone would disagree (clearly they do, but its hard to imagine it, especially from women) that women should be denied education or feel threatened with violence in public spaces. Really, if you aren't a feminist, why the hell not?

2. Debates around mental illness- Oh vey, it feels like a conversation we have now had too many times, but based on some of the reactions around Robin Williams's death, clearly it still need to be said. Mental illness is a disease, like cancer or parkinson's or arthritis; having a mental illness doesn't reflect your character or strength or selfishness. It's disappointing that these sorts of things need to be said, but it is encouraging that so many people are saying it.

3. Jezebel's finally getting rid of the comment rape gifs- I think it was 2 weeks ago that I saw the first of these genuinely horrible gifs on a Jezebel comment section (about Conor Oberst maybe?), and it ruined my day. I mean, I was so upset all day. I have never seen something like that, and I really never needed to. Online forums like Gawker media or Twitter (who has been forced to deal with this when nasty trolls were disgusting toward Zelda Williams, including putting fake images of her father's body on her responses) need to come up with better solutions to counter these responses. The internet has only become a more nasty space for both men and women (yeah, women might get it worse, but I can't imagine guys want to see this stuff either), and comment sections clearly need some sort of change. I have been avoiding the jezebel site (and especially their comments) since the incident, and I was shocked when I read that their primarily female writing staff is supposed to delete these gifs one by one, thereby having to look at them all. No one should have to do that, and there has to be a better way. So I hope they work it out, and the trolls can retreat to their bridges.

from www.artnexus.com

4. Chuck Ramirez Candy Tray Series- My favorite genoming subject this week are these large-scale, highly-detailed photographs of empty candy trays. They feel happily familiar and sad all at once, not unlike opening a candy box which is totally emptied out (or only has the weird ones left, and you have to debate whether it is worth it or not).

5. This bald, cancer-battling bride- Style me Pretty posted a blog earlier this week that has now gone viral of a bride who went totally bald (with a gorgeous lace cap) to her wedding, mid-cancer treatment. It made me cry, but basically anything that mentions cancer in any way makes me cry now. The honesty and beauty of this woman is also just really inspiring.

6. The power of "social media" in the face of nastiness- The Michael Brown story is devastating. An unarmed 18 year old was shot down by a (still unknown) police officer. The officer was pulled from the scene immediately to protect his identity, and the man's body was left out on the cement in August for over 4 hours. I feel the outrage there is well-justified, and people deserve answers about how and why this happened, not the threat of extensive and shocking violence. What seems even more shocking in this day and age is how much effort the Ferguson police seemingly put into removing media from the event, trying to keep it quiet, etc. Stories like these do make me glad to live in the time we do, where various live feeds have been up this week (though last I saw, they are mostly down right now) to make the situation much clearer. As horrible as the whole story is (I mean, no one looks great here, but the city's police look really really bad), it makes me grateful that people have so many tools available to make their voices heard, so the various sides of the story can all be publicly represented.

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100 Things I Love This Week Part 2- Decorating and Rehearsing

 

26. Tall Ladders- Essential to any good wedding. Also, pretty treacherous, since one of the valiant members of ladder team two was actually shocked by lights! Still, I am positive that the key to our wedding's success was those ladders.

 

27. Liam as a helper- Shell and Micah brought the baby with them, which provided lots of extra cuteness (and he is such a good baby). My Nana was all over watching him, and you could tell she was genuinely having a good time. 

 

28. The photo wall- Natalie and my Dad were all over it, and it really looked great. Here is Natalie trying to figure out how to cover up the wire with ribbon. It is very nice to have an artist as a cousin on days like that one! 

 

29. Big Rock Tissue Mountain- Jenny was fluffing all day, and before these bad boys went up, you couldn't even see her. Those are her feet at the bottom. Jenny's feet alone make this picture amazing. 

 

30. Anchor Village's lattices- Ok, I am lying. Those things are fugly, but they do cover up uglier things and we did get to use them in a pretty cute way. If you are having your reception at Anchor Village, bring white paint with you! And probably power tools, because those things are falling apart.

31. The giant bug living on the junk that the last group left on the lattices. So Gross. It's when you are pulling off your 3rd or 4th grasshopper you start really doubting your decision- but it all turned out, so now their memory is endearing.

 

32. Sweet Basil Pizza- Sweet Basil took over the old Pizza Hut in Marian, and that is where my Mom went to get food for everyone on Friday. The pizza was all so amazing. If you are taking the drive between Eastern PA and Franklin, I would highly recommend this place. Hit the spot.She got a ton of pizza and we pretty much finished it.

 

33. That Jim McGee showed up as we were cleaning up and getting ready to go. Now that is some good timing. He did move one table and pretend to put up one flower, so that is some quality groomsmenning.

 

34. This picture of the Boy and Carlo as kids. Specifically, that they are wearing sweatsuit outfits and putting hands on each others thighs. Mrs. Alfeo swears that she was sick that day, so she takes no responsibility for it.

 

35.  The Dance floor ceiling! My Dad figured out how to put it up, and it really did look amazing and beautiful. As each puff and lantern went up, I just got more excited about how it looked.

 

36. The Congradulations sign- Courtesy of my Sister-in-laws. We are an odd group, but this cracks me up!

  

37. Having my brother with me- You can't do anything this big without your sibling. Mine is the best! He had about 48 hours in Franklin to be there for all of our wedding stuff (he had to leave LA while training for a new job and moving into a new apartment) and I couldn't have appreciated it more. Plus, I thought his rehearsal outfit was pretty sharp.

 

38. This bridesmaid/groomsmen combo. We had a lot of short girls and tall guys, but this is my favorite/ most dramatic combination!

 

39. The rehearsal bouquet from my Aunt Ann- She couldn't come in the end, but she got me a small bouquet for the rehearsal as a surprise, which was just so sweet. It was a nice way to feel like she was with me and thinking of me because I was definitely thinking of her and wishing she could be there with us! I missed her so much, but she was so sweet and thoughtful toward me, even from a distance. Also, the bouquet was really pretty. 

 

40. Ok, I wasn't thinking ahead so I didn't take a good picture of the food, but AmaZing Food Catering did an awesome job, and I was especially obsessed with the tortellini which were green and had cheese and were freaking amazing. Shame on me for saying we should just do pizza, because I will be thinking of that tortellini for the rest of my life. Maybe I just loved the carbs after lunch, but I was really excited about the food (and I wasn't the only one who came back for seconds!).

 

41. This Picture- These two are my family and my home and it made me so happy to see them hanging out and being together! Love them so much! Also, my brother is another sucker for babies, so that was cute too!

 

42. Black light bowling- Nothing says the solemnity of marital commitment like Pam's whole body glowing under the lights while we all bowled.  If you are trying to think of a good pre-wedding activity, I would recommend bowling, though I think I might tell the bride and groom to not commit to actually bowling.

 

43.  Seeing old friends who I haven't seen for a while- Even better, seeing them bowl and interact with other people from the past. One of the most fun parts of wedding festivities.

 

44. The church dress/ bowling shoe combo- this look is going to blow up. They looked even more amazing glowing in the black light.

 

45.  This picture- just another good one. I love their dance together!

46.  That Zach broke a bowling ball- That's power. He actually put a huge dent in the ball. He seemed pretty proud of it too!

 

47. The Old Timey phones in D'Casa B& B- we tried them all. They were pretty amazing. The whole B& B has new ownership and they redid the kitchen. It turned out to be a great home base through wedding festivities, and we liked playing with all the old stuff in there! The hour after bowling we ran around a bunch and I think got out some energy playing and exploring the space. It was so fun!

48. D'Casa B and B's kitchen- It looks like a kitchen in a magazine. I am not sure I have ever been in such a fancypants kitchen before in my life. We were really impressed by it!

 

49.  Late night conversations with these people- such a fun night!

 

50. Waking up to my Dad playing the "It's your wedding day" polka on his tuba- the perfect way to get up. 

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