Wedding Wednesday- Unique, Eco-Friemdly, and Reusable Cake Topper Ideas

I love a cake topper at a wedding. Part of this is that you just can't be mad about anything cake-related. The other reason is that even if you are at the most straightforward or traditional couple, you can still show a little bit of who you are with this detail. To me, the best weddings are undeniably the couple.

Weddings are a hotbed of waste, and even these details can be pretty wasteful. Anything that you only use or see for only one day is essentially wasteful. I mean, what happens to all those cake toppers after the honeymoon? Ours, which is such a sweet piece from Lollipop Workshop (I swear it wasn't that expensive, but it probably was), lives in a little glass dome in our dining room, but I have never noticed cake toppers up in many homes.

good luck, honey. thaat's a long life ahead of you. from Pieceofcaketoppers4u

So what happens to most cake toppers? Please tell me people aren't putting those horrible ones with the bride dragging the groom up in their house somewhere. You dragged him to the wedding and now you are dragging hi though life? Poor life choices.

Rather than buying something generic, this is the perfect opportunity to buy something local or made in America. People have all kinds of amazingly creative ideas out there. Plus, if you have something in mind, I bet you can find someone to bring it to life (or make somehting yourself- you can do it!). Some etsy toppers are expensive, but many are no more than what you would buy in the store. Step one of an eco-friendly topper is to buy or make something that hasn't traveled far.

So these are my best ideas for having a cake topper that you love, that is true to you as a couple, and doesn't spend the rest of your marriage in storage somewhere. Basically, how can you make a cake topper environmentally responsible AND awesome?

from Mr and Mrs Cake Toppers

1. Use Something you Already Love 

This could be anything. Maybe you have picked up trinkets on travels or collect something together. It could be any items you own (that fit on a cake and aren't completely unsanitary), and if it is important to you already, all the better. Do you get salt shakers on vacation? Use those! Collect erotic Precious Moments figurines? Sounds memorable! Wear each other's blood in vials? Please don't put that on the cake, but you get the idea. This idea will cost you nearly no money, can bring in a little more of your real life to the big day, and they can head back to their original purpose (with a little extra honor) once you are wed.

from Ever After Products

Now, you could go two ways with this. Either, leave them as is for a perfectly cool topper, OR dress them up in marital garb to make something no one has seen before (but might not fit as well with a collection). I am obsessed with ones like these gussed up dinosaur toys or these incredibly cool personalized funko pop dolls that ight fit perfectly in some bride or groom's already existing collection (you can be on a shelf with all of your favorite characters, for goodness sake).

from goose grease

2. Pick a Topper with its Future Spot in Mind

I think it would be cool to have your topper on a bedside table, as bookends on your shelf, or as a focal point on a dining room table or mantel. If you shop with the style of your home in mind, you could see your cake topper as a reminder of your wedding everyday (also, a reminder that cake is delicious). Using it as decor in your house is way more subtle and fun than the giant wedding picture. Not that it isn't great too, but this is a different approach. I think these wood peg doll toppers would look sweet and understated as part of your decor, and they aren't so precious or delicate that you have to hide them away. Check etsy for peg toppers, because they really are great.

from Wooden Heart Buttons

My favorite store for this might be Wooden Heart Buttons- a former cake decorator got sick of the expensive plastic toppers coming through and started making toppers with eco-friendly materials specifically intended to be used as decor in your home after the big day. Check them all out- they are beautiful.

from Juniper and Ivy

The laser cut toppers with text or silhouettes are on trend right now, and they could potentially look great in a frame or shadowbox on your wall for a very long time.  If you do go that route, be careful to pick something that is timelessly YOU. The "eat me" toppers are cute, but do you want that on your wall? Also, I'd go wood over plastic- it will look better in most cases (and you can more easily adjust it to fit in a frame)..

from Life Ephemera

3. Look for a Vintage Gem

 Are you a heterosexual Aryan couple that enjoys the good old days? There are already tons of little porcelain white people waiting for you. It doesn't have to be as vanilla as these people, and you can use vintage items to save money and minimize your wedding's footprint. You can get a basic vintage wedding topper for 10-15 dollars. Cheaper than the basic cake toppers available at Walmart, and it's that much less plastic being purchased. Some of these have more personality than others, but it can be a fun and eye-catching option.

from Protector of Vintage

This couple is really committed... to their eyebrows.

from Bean Jean Julie

These two look too old and too young at once- what state allows ancient babies to marry?

from Design Room 3

Love this one. They look like they want to kiss, but just can't figure out what to do next.

Jokes aside, if you are having a wedding with vintage flair, why not poke around and get something that is actually vintage?You can find all sorts of figurines and save the world from ne more object just sitting in an attic somewhere.

from bridal guide

4. Get Something that can have a New Life after the Wedding

 My brother-in-law and sister-in-law had a lego cake topper. They also have a basement full of legos. The topper was true to them, for sure. If you aren't ridiculously sentimental like I am, you can get a cake topper like this that you can actually take apart and use again! If you have kids, toys make a lot of sense. If you are handy, could you use tools? Good in the kitchen? How about a salt and pepper set you can use? It just has to have some use value once you are in your new normal life.

from uncorked and unrewined

5.  Recycled Toppers

 If you can't think of something with a practical life after the wedding, why not get a topper that had a life before? It is a wonderful world. Don't believe me? Look up "recycled cake toppers" on Etsy. Maybe some won't be your style, but one could be exactly right. They take trash and turn it into something you will treasure for the rest of your life. That's pretty cool. Can't find the perfect thing? You could also make it yourself! Get inspired and you can really put yourself out there.

from The Lost Key

I want to go to this steampunk wedding. And 40 dollars? That's a steal from The Lost Key.

from Ready Go

Ready Go makes cake toppers out of recycled cardstock. They are simple and lovely, and you could totally frame it afterward (recycled and reused? You win!). I do love their simplicity, and I think they look sweet without being saccharine or boring. You can also add children for blended families and even get personalized coloring book pages.

from wedding chicks

6. Just Skip It Completely

You know what cake without a topper is? Cake, so it is still the best thing ever, If tracking down the perfect topper seems like a waste of time or money to you, then just don't have one! And feel glad you are getting married at a time where almost every tradition is flexible. Never waste energy or money on the junk you don't care about, because why even throw the party if you aren't enjoying it?

Will I miss the topper? Yes, but there will still be cake. So I will still be happy.

Want more eco-friendly wedding ideas? I have TONS of them! You can make your wedding environmentally responsible by reducing waste, minimizing purchases, and buying items that have life beyond that big day.

Read more

Fun and Unique Second Birthday Gift Ideas (that are Better for the Environment too)

Life comes in waves- babies, weddings, even funerals seem to happen in bunches.  Right now, we are in the midst of a toddler birthday phase of life. Even though we have a toddler, it can still be intimidating to approach buying presents for little kids- there are so many choices!

Since I have an (almost) two year old, I have some solid guesses at what will be a big hit and what may not work as well.

First, this may be hard to believe, but less is better. By two years in, most parents would probably be giddy to have you take some toys OUT of their house! We, especially as Americans, feel tremendous (but often unspoken) pressure to display our love through quantity. Want to give an amazing gift? Clearly a giant plastic thing with lights and doodads is the answer! Except, that plastic is now polluting the water and land, those lights waste electricity (they don't need them! if your kid loves lights, get them a flashlight), and those cheap, imported toys may have been made by unethical or even child labor.

We are making so many problems that these children will have to face later, not to mention teaching them habits that are unhealthy and unsustainable. You want to give a kickass gift against the grain? Think about their future too!

Here are my other tips for things to absolutely avoid if you want to get a great gift and make a better for future for the kid you love:

- Anything Too Big- That tent or giant darth vader might make a big impact on the gift table, but if it takes up a ton of room, it might be a real problem. This isn't an absolute no, but it's definitely worth checking in with the parents before you do that. If you want something big, you might try these Mondo Bloxx, which we have had so much fun with.

- Fresh Plastic- I have made a resolution in our house to avoid any fresh plastic toys. They only create waste, introduce potentially toxic chemicals into the home, and pose more problems for them in the future (I don't want my kids to be the adults from Wall-E, for goodness sakes). Don't cry for my kiddos- they still have a slide in the backyard and ramps for their car toys. They are just used! If you have your heart set on something plastic, go check out Goodwill or a kids consignment shop.

-Melissa and Doug- These con people market themselves as more wholesome and well-made than anything else in the toy section, but it is a TOTAL lie. Once upon a time, they made their toys stateside, but now they manufacture solely in China. If you want to support American businesses or buy wood toys that aren't coated in nastiness, check out this post for some of the best options.

- Too Many Characters- They are getting to that age where they love the cars from Cars or Anna and Elsa. But  months from now, they may love something totally different. Giving a character gift just puts a shelf life on whatever you are giving. Not to mention, your gift might totally blend into the pile. If they really love Thomas, check to see if the train is coming anywhere near you (yes, he is always on tour from what I can tell). Or Disney on ice tickets! Or, go another route and buy them a pack of stickers with the characters on it with a gift that has more longevity. I know I have made this mistake more than once, so I get the appeal, but if the child really loves Nemo that much, I bet he/she already has a nemo stuffed animal. Next idea!

-Stuffed Animals. Trust me, the toddler you know probably already has plenty. They take a lot of room, most serve the same basic purpose, and very few are made anywhere nearby. Now that I have kids, I would probably never go this route, because we are always fighting back the hoard. If you are going that route, check out Bears for Humanity (they donate a bear for every bear you buy, are organi, use recycled polyfill, AND employ Americans for their manufacturing) or one of the super cute stuffed things from Taraluna.

You may notice, this is a short list, but it cuts out most of the toy sections in Walmart and Target. It makes me look like quite a party pooper.

 Don't sweat it, there are actually TONS of other options that are both more memorable AND more fun. You can do this! Here are my best ideas, based on my reading about child development at this juncture and my experience as a mom.

1. Paint or Crayons

These kids have FINALLY reached the point where their first instinct with art supplies isn't to eat them. This is a big deal. Mark-making and creativity are hugely important in a toddler's life. It gives them agency, helps them explore colors and representation, and sets them up to learn letters in coming years. Markers, crayons, and paints are gifts they can come back to again and again for years.

As far as brands go, no one does better for markers and crayons than Crayola- both are made Stateside, and you can even mail the markers back to them when they die, and they will be recycled.  Many of their kids washable paints are as well. If you want something more original, you could look up "recycled crayons" on Etsy or even make your own out of the crayon nubbins in your house!

Looking for something bigger? Kids easels are one of the most common finds at Goodwill or even on Buy Nothing (that's where we got ours), so it might be easy to revamp. I couldn't find any Made in the USA, so plan ahead and jump at a good one if you see it. You could also throw in The Day the Crayons Quit or Harold and the Purple Crayon to go with the theme.

from Mulberry and June

2. A Backpack

We cleaned out and revamped a little backpack my brother and I kept crayons in when we were kids, and my son loves filling it with stuff, putting it on, and wearing it around. It's bright but simple, and he uses it a lot for play (and I bet it will start getting practical use this year. Kids this age love having their own bags, so you could revamp one of your old bags , find a toddler's backpack at Goodwill or get something new and American-made from stores like Happyluxe, Omac Packs (from Erie, PA!), Stitch Crafty 4 U,  Mulberry and June, or Weepereas (love these! So cute).

Remember, a character might seem like a great idea now, but I wouldn't go that route. The characters they love change fast sometimes.

3. Snappies, Buckles, and Buttons

This is the year many toddlers want to do things themselves, and this definitely includes clothes. Our son loves all kinds of fasteners, and "snappies, please" is said about 50 times a day in our house (he can't get them apart on his own). My husband bought him this fabric covered in snappies from the 5 an 10 Market. One of our friends even made one himself (so resourceful). A perfect car toy, and so simple.

4. Tickets

Tickets for activities may not get the big box-opening moment, but how many of those do you actually remember from when you are a kid? Instead, tickets to something special, like a train ride, the zoo, or even their first movie tickets could make a great memory, especially if you are around to do the activity with them. Toddlers can really love new experiences, even more so than toys (which they have too many of already), so think about something they love and how you can bring that to life, rather than buy them one more toy that will fade into the pile.

5. Mix CD's (or music playlists)

I know this sounds hipster or retro, but trust me, you can be a birthday hero if you save those parents from Raffi.The Bub loves to dance and sing, and we are always trying to find new songs that he will love and we will only hate a little. If you want to step it up, you could have the first letter of each song spell out the toddler's name or find a song with their name in it. It doesn't have to cost you money to be a great gift. My Grammy and cousin have made us mix cds we absolutely love.

Want to step it up? Add in a book or two about music or get some bells or musical instruments. Sure to be a hit!

6. Bath Toys

People will think of regular toys, but especially if you don't have little ones, you can forget about the awesome power of the bath toy. Our favorites are these rubber duckies, the boats and cups from Green Toys, and foam letters we got on Buy Nothing. Cups will work, as kids love to pour. I also think color tablets like these would be really fun. The biggest thing is to avoid toys where water can get stuck inside and grow mold.

7. Brooms, Shovels, Play Kitchens, or Any Household Drudgery you Hate

2 year olds really want to do what the grown ups are doing, so you can have a big hit by gifting objects you would NEVER want as a gift yourself (or the tiny toddler version). You can split this into two categories- participation play and pretend play.

Some of their early pretending is often in kitchens because they see that modeled all the time, so play food, play kitchens, play tools, play gardening sets can all really resonate based mostly on what they watch the grown ups in their lives do.

You can find so much great play food on Etsy, and if you want to get a kitchen, I highly recommend checking your Buy Nothing or Etsy first. Little Tikes does make a few in the US, but I am suspicious of that "out of US and imported parts" add on. We have this one, which is great for a growing kid, but all of the accessory toys were made in China (bummer). You are better off to find something used.

 Even cooler, check pinterest for ideas on how to make any old janky piece of furniture into an adorable play kitchen. If you have the time, you could give such an amazing gift that costs you nearly no money.

All of this is fine and good, but participation play is easily as popular in our house. You know what would be a beloved gift for my son? A broom. He loves to sweep with us, but the poor child is usually stuck with the swiffer. He currently treasures a soft measuring tape used for sewing. He LOVES it. He even loves brushing his teeth when we do, because he wants to keep in the action. He likes playing with shopping bags, packing things into spare suitcases, and carrying my weed bucket (a former bakery bucket I got off Buy Nothing) around our yard and collecting leaves. He just wants to help.

Things that would be the worst gift in the world to an adult might be the absolute coolest to a little kid. Sure, you could buy some, but you could also look around your house and ask yourself what might be cool and safe for a toddler, because their standards for cool and fun are totally different. Will the parents give you a funny look if you give their kid measuring tape or an old keyboard? Probably, but they will also get it.

Re-Play from Amazon

8. Eating Tools

We never seem to have enough plates, bowls, or silverware (partially because they get used as toys). I will absolutely swear by Re-Play stuff for kids. They sell sippy cups, bowls, plates, silverware, snack stacks, and regular cups (perfect for the bath or play kitchen). It's made of recycled food safe plastic in the US, it comes in gorgeous bright colors, and it isn't all that different in price from something made of fresh plastic. They sell Re-Play at Walmart and Target now too, so this is a perfect last minute purchase if you don't have time to poke around but you still want to be eco-friendly.

As I said, I am not bringing new plastic into this house- when I see what plastic is doing to our oceans (and I think of the problems my children will face because of it), I just can't do it. This is a great gift for a child now, but it also invests in their future by supporting post-consumer recycled products and keeping plastics out of landfills and water.

9. Clothes... One Size Up

A year before, the toddler was growing out of their clothes every few months. Now, they grow out of things... every few months. Slightly bigger basics (jeans, t-shirts, socks, simple things) may not be a hit with the bub, but their parents will love you for it. My favorite Made in America companies for basics are City Threads and American Apparel- their clothes are cute and stylish without being too expensive. Buy them basics with one fun accessory they can use now (a tutu, a dinosaur hoodie, a superhero cape), and you can please everybody.

Want bonus points? Check in with a parent and buy the kid a pair of shoes a size up. We are constantly trying to stay stocked on shoes.

There is one more trick to this, and that is to buy clothes used. If you want to spend 25 dollars on said child, you can either buy one outfit from Carter's, or you can find something equally cute in consignment and then buy 3 other things. Toddlers ruin things, with paint, dirt, all kinds of nonsense. I would rather get things from consignment than a precious outfit I can never trust him to wear. Kids consignment stores are EVERYWHERE, and if you can't find one nearby, online thrift shop Thred Up has great stuff.

10. Anything on Wheels 

Kids this size just love to move things, and wheels are almost always a favorite, regardless of gender. If you want to get all heteronormative (or they do, because even if you don't encourage these things, they creep up), you could do a car for a boy and a stroller for a girl. Or this badass pink dump truck. Green Toys again nails this category- made in the US out of recycled plastic, and they have every kind of motorized vehicle to play with. Also, animals who have been monstrously amputated to have wheels for feet.

If I had any advice, I would say go small on wheeled things; the big ones seem cool, but things that fit well in their hand get more use. And if you have to do Hot Wheels, get them used. You can find used Hot Wheel cars anywhere they sell used toys, usually for 25 cents or so. No need to buy a new one. Basically ever. There have to be enough hot wheels in the world for any kid who wants one, as long as parents donate them- don't throw them out!

 I also really love Maple Landmark's cars and train sets, so that might be a good place to start. We bought their trolley for our older son when our younger was born, and it has been a big hit.

That's the list! I hope it inspired you to think of an awesome gift! I will say, books were not included because I feel like this depends a lot on households, whether they prefer library books over owning a lot, etc. That being said, in my opinion, books are always a good idea. They love them, they build language skills, and the ones that don't go well can easily be donated to help other kids. Also picking up speed in our house is puzzles and his legos. They get as much or more return use than the cars at this point, so they are well worth considering.

Happy birthday to the little one in your life! If you want more eco-frendly shopping ideas, check out my Mega List of Shopping Lists!

Read more

6 Things for 2 Days with my Mumma

from Even More Clumsy

1." My Grandmother's Baskets"- My great Aunt Betsi writes a blog that I love (my favorite is a post about a little piece of plastic litter that she has been noticing NOT changing over the course of months walking by), and this week, she has been posting about baskets that could be on the shelf family heirlooms, but she actually uses them. I love how she describes it, so be sure to check her blog out.

2. A Hose, A Blanket, and a Balloon- It really makes you appreciate the genius that goes into marketing toys, because so little is necessary for a two year old's good time. Can I also say I feel a twinge of pride that every stuffed animal in this picture (but one) was either bought used or gifted as a hand me down. I would say in the last couple of months, we have seen our changes in approaching stuff really come into its own, and its exciting to see how much is used or ethically made in our house.

3. Made in the USA Lumpectomy Gear- Never would have thought this existed in a million years, but if this blog has taught me one thing, its that someone has already thought about the problem, and if you intentionally seek out things that were made ethically, with regard for the environment, or nearby, you will be SHOCKED how often you can find it.

4. Weddings in the Time of Social Media- I was too pregnant to go with the Boy to a wedding this weekend, but thanks to cell phone pictures, facebook posts, and a drunken Skype, I got to feel like I at least got a sense of what the night was like, and I got to see lots of the beautiful details (and stop at a beer distributor). So grateful that if we have to live so far from home, we can do it now, and not 50 years ago like my grandparents did it- lots of letters and road trips.

5.Buying Things Used- You had no idea I liked this, right?! I am the kind of person who gets tremendously sentimental about stuff. My mom is the kind of person where most stuff doesn't matter to her at all (both she and my brother are excellent at shaking off excess baggage), so she would rather spend less money, because she doesn't intend to keep it that long anyway. Most stuff is just stuff, and it doesn't deserve much thought, energy and money. I love this about both of them.

 Where cheapo stores like Walmart might seem like the best answer, you cannot beat the deals you find at a kid's consignment store, so we can get everything still on our list (except the damn double stroller) for cheap while still having a positive environmental impact! It works really well If you are no fuss shopper like my mom,

Majamas from Amazon

6. Majamas- So, our baby is due VERY soon, and I am finally packing our hospital bags. We were talking about getting a new pair of nursing pajamas to go with the 2 or 3 I have from last time, and I am psyched about these numbers from Majamas. This company makes all of their clothes in the US, and they are so thoughtful about what a new mom needs! I will let you know how they work.

Read more

Wedding Wednesday- With These Rings...

The engagement ring is the first big purchase on the way to Marriedville, and no matter which partner does it, it makes for a very daunting buy- what if you pick something they don't like? How can you figure out what he or she would wear everyday of his or her life without giving away the surprise?

The ring's symbolic connection to marriage is a long tradition through multiple cultures- ancient Egyptians were buried wearing rings. That's how far back it goes. In 1477, Archduke Maximilian in Austria gave one of the first recorded diamond engagement rings to his lady Mary of Burgundy (the diamonds in this ring made an "M"- well-played, sir). The diamond supply shot up in the 1860's when they are found in South Africa, and DeBeers owned the vast majority of these mines and diamonds by the 1880's. Tiffany's market's their setting in the 90's, and by the early 20's, the diamond engagement ring is completely ubiquitous and expected. The tradition of the ring was co-opted into something very different, and it made some people a lot of money.

Some people point to wedding rings as particularly old-fashioned, marks of ownership and patriarchy. .Of course, lots of people don't follow this tradition exactly anymore, but even if you forego the engagement ring, shopping for rings is probably going to happen somewhere in the journey to the altar. The engagement ring has come under particular fire for good reason, but you can participate in a way that works for you with a little creativity.


So, we all know that diamonds and jewelry are one of the most environmentally friendly and highly ethical industries out there, right? That's why the term "Blood Diamond" exists- to reference how little blood is shed for diamonds? Isn't that what that movie is about? A lot of hugging? Snow White's dwarves?

Alright, so maybe not. Diamonds and jewelry are notoriously unethical and unsustainable. Not only are those giant honking engagement rings totally unwieldy (how do they not get caught on everything?), they also are epically wasteful. Conflict diamonds (or diamonds mined to fund insurgencies and violence) are shockingly common, and the rush to make money on these gemstones means a lot of diamonds come with an ugly history long before a ring hits a finger.

Debeers has a shocking monopoly on the industry, treats their people disgustingly, and definitely belongs at the table of Nestle's evil capitalist villians. I mean, these guys are actively and intentionally despicable, and if you are buying a new diamond without doing your research, you are most definitely giving them your money.

But you want to propose to your partner or you are shopping for wedding rings- what do you do?

You could just not wear a ring- marriage as ownership is certainly outdated, though I can say I still really like wearing rings with the Boy. I feel like it is a symbol of partnership, like a team jersey, but you can do this a million ways, so do what works for you.

You could go the tattoo route, but that is a dangerous game, my friend. Tattoos tempt fate something awful.

Or, you can buy rings, but go about it differently. A big price tag or a big rock doesn't necessarily mean big success in marriage, so you can go about it a different way. Just last week, Mila Kunis said that she and her husband bought their wedding rings on Etsy for 90 dollars each. I am willing to bet they got them at such a great price because the metal was recycled. Other celebrities are starting to boast engagement rings with alternative stones. I have a hunch non-diamond engagement rings are not only on trend, but on the rise.

The diamond ring set is not the only way to celebrate. Be creative and come up with something meaningful to you.

Want to buy rings in a more ethical and eco-friendly way? Stay out of Kay Jewelers, Jared's, all those mall places that are trying to sell you diamonds at the cheapest possible price. When you prioritize new, easy, and cheap as a consumer, you are inevitably sacrificing ethical making and eco-friendly shipping in the process. But every kiss does not begin with K. And most people could care less if you went to Jared's. Skip that nonsense.

You are way better off buying a more original ring with a smaller diamond (because really, that's a pain in the butt) but a less horrible history. That's an investment worth keeping forever.

So, if you want to buy a ring but steer clear of all the nastiness that comes with it, here are some choices.

1. Get Something Used/ Vintage/ Antique

from Brilliant Earth

If you are going to get a diamond, get a vintage/ antique/ or freaking pawn shop one.Just buy your diamonds used, whatever term you want to attach to it.

 DeBeers still owns a shocking percentage of all the diamonds in the world (so much so that they actually hoard them to create scarcity and protect themselves against their grossly mistreated miners), and the best way to get a diamond without giving them their money is to get them used. Bottom line.

These diamond rings have a reputation for lasting forever (thanks James Bond), but people and marriages don't last forever. So at this point, there are SO many rings already in the world, waiting for a spruce and a new finger to live on. There is so much vintage jewelry in the world. Some of it could be heirlooms in your family or you can find jewelry in most antique stores. Start your search at jewelry stores nearby that have antique or vintage options available, in conversations with your parents, even in the jewelry you might already have.

Buying used means that the jewelry hasn't traveled such a far distance, and you can feel confident that you aren't funding the horrors of the diamond industry by buying a new diamond. Metals can also be recycled, so you can find tons of recycled rings out there. It means something is getting re-used, which is always a more eco-friendly choice than others.

from spring thaw

If you can't find something just browsing stores or old jewelry boxes, Brilliant Earth (we will talk more about them later) has the most drool-worthy vintage rings ever.  Etsy also has a huge collection of antique rings to browse through (you can also narrow the search by putting in "solitaire antique ring" etc). This one from Spring Thaw is from the 1800's, and it could be perfect for someone (though they have some gorgeous solitaires as well). If I had it to do over again, I think I would direct The Boy to these rings, because they feel so special and they are so much more ethical. That being said, if you are patient enough to check local sources first, you might find something for an amazing price as well, and you are supporting your local economy.

2. Go for a Different Stone

Other stones come with other problems, so you still need to do some research, but in general, you will do better for price, ethics, and eco-friendliness if you steer toward something more original. Just skipping the diamond can make any choice a little bit better,

This is one of those eco-friendly choices that is also way better for your pocket and your life. If it doesn't really matter a lot to you (or the person you are proposing to- but be clear on that), you can save the money and put extra hundreds or even thousands of dollars into your honeymoon. That's a big deal, and you will have a ring that most likely doesn't look like anyone else's.

Moissanite

Moissanite was discovered in the 1860's and confused with diamonds, and this gemstone has only been in the jewelry market since 1998. It has that clear glassy look and hard surface of a diamond, but it can be made synthetically so it doesn't require any unethical mining. The patents for making moissanite expired in 2015, so now no single company can create a monopoly on it in the United States. This stone is one of your most ethical and eco-friendly choices, and it basically looks like diamonds. Very cool (and affordable) option and it's common enough that you can pick from 13,000 American-made options just on Etsy for this gemstone. Here are three-

from Laura Morgenson

I love a more minimalist piece of jewelry, because it goes with everything (and you are wearing that sucker for the rest of your life). Laura Morgenson sells minimalist engagement rings with moissanite that are only 150-250 dollars. So cheap, so brilliant.

from barzahav

On the total other end of the spectrum, sometimes your partner is just the kind of person who wants some serious wow factor. This ring, if made with diamonds, would be 10,000 dollars at least. With moissanite, you can get something like this from barzahav for 1,300. That's 8,700 dollars difference (twice the cost of the average honeymoon).

from lamore designs

Lastly, even though this gemstone is new, you could buy something with a definite vintage feel like the rings from lamore designs. So pretty and feminine.

Sapphire

If a used alternative gemstone ring was good enough for Princess Kate, what the heck are the rest of us doing? When you look at the sapphire rings out there, it is impossible not to feel awed and inspired. Here are a couple good ones, but GO BROWSE!

from Alea Marie Co

For your best impression of a British royal. I do love that Alea Marie Co makes their sapphires instead of mining them, and they look like the kind of ring a girl would dream of.

from Engaged with Diamonds

This antique ring from Engaged with Diamonds combines diamonds and sapphires in such a unique way. Never thought I'd like something like this, but the ring is winning me over big time.

from okimodo

My favorite of all the sapphires I have seen has to be this peach one from okimodo. I love everything about this ring.

from S Kimd Co

Ahhh! Maybe it is a tie with this S Kind Co engagement ring. I love the color, and it looks timeless and right now at the same time (try this teal one too or this one from Trudy's Gems),

Citrine

from Just Vintage 4 U

Citrine isn't a very common gemstone to go with, but this ring from Just vintage 4 U (horrible name) makes a strong argument for using something a little stranger. Really pretty, bright, and crazy affordable. For a couple who really cares less about material things.

Pearl

This always looks amazing to me, but I do think you should think twice before going this route. Diamond hardness is rated at a ten. Pearls can be as low as three, so they damage much more easily. You have to know the delicacy and lifestyle of the wearer before taking this leap.

from Lux Crown

Lux Crown is a great store for both vintage and gemstone rings. I love so many of their rings, including this beauty. Their pearl rings are only 250 dollars, and they are all absolutely beautiful.They have some beautiful opal, aquamarine, and amethyst numbers as well.

from Belmar Jewelers

This vintage pearl and diamond ring from Belmar Jewelers looks completely timeless and memorable to me. This one from DeKara's Diamonds has a similar look.

Amethyst

from Lux Crown

This ring from Lux Crown really shows off the purple color- it's a high impact ring for 250 dollars.

Emerald 

Emeralds also have a little bit of a mixed reputation for something worn daily because they can crack. On the other hand, that emerald green is classic, timeless, and incredibly memorable. They are pretty popular right now, and for good reason. You should get extra insurance on it if you go this route.

from Valerie K Studio

Valerie K Studio combines a straight lined, almost preppy stone with an organic vine band. I wouldn't expect it to work, but it really does. I don't actually remember people's engagement rings often, but I sure would remember this.

from Rare Earth

Holy Moly, this ring is amazing. Would be classy and unique forever, and every gemstone and diamond is conflict-free. I also love that Rare Earth will make a setting for a stone you already have, so if you have an heirloom ring with a great stone that otherwise isn't quite the style you want, you could take an old gem and turn it into something as gorgeous as this.

Diamond Substitutes

from Tiger Gemstones

Diamond "Simulants" may have a stigma, but guess what? No one can tell the difference, you save a bunch of money (go on a trip instead), and you can feel confident that no one lost their life procuring your diamond. Tiger Gemstones specializes in these kind of rings, and they might be good to partner with a diamond engagement ring if you have a particular idea or don't want to track down antique diamond rings twice.

I also love these rings from Life Spirals, which basically sells vintage fake diamonds. It's a good reminder that diamonds have never been an absolute must (we just put that pressure on ourselves.

This is, of course, just the tip of the iceberg (rubies, aquamarine, opal, etc) so if you have a gemstone in mind, start searching on Etsy to see what is out there! Avoiding diamonds will save you so much money while getting you incredible bang for your buck. At the same time, you are making one of the greenest choices you can as a couple, so you can feel so good about the choice. 

3. Try Brilliant Earth

Brilliant Earth began as a response to the extreme abuse in the diamond industry, and their mission is to make the jewelry industry more transparent, sustainable, and ethical. They use responsible mining practices and don't use child labor (oh yeah, that's a thing in the diamond industry too- nice, DeBeers). They also donate 5% of their profits back to communities that had been ravaged by the diamond industry. This includes restoring lands for agricultural use after the mining destroyed usable land.

As a side note, Brilliant Earth's rings are gorgeous. My favorites are the vintage, but there are so many beautiful things. Some feature non-diamond stones as well, so you can save money and have a more original ring if that is your style. Be sure to browse around the website and see what you find. You can also create your own diamond ring, which I think many people would see as a very sweet gesture.

Lastly, they do have wedding bands as well, so check there before you buy something else. These rings aren't going to be your most cost-effective choice (hello, check Etsy, people!) but you can feel like the ring you are purchasing is at least doing a little good in the world instead of quite a bit of evil.

4, If you haven't yet, fall in love with Etsy

Etsy has about 20,000 options for American-made or antique rings, and I swear I looked through half of that. They are fantastic. You can purchase your rings from the person who made it. If we could do it again, we would be wearing Etsy rings.You can support an American artisan, get rings made from recycled metal, potentially save a lot of money, and wear something no one else in the world has. Plus, you would feel as cool as Mila Kunis, so that is nice. There are so many to go through, and I honestly don't think I can do it justice, but I will just point to a (BIG) handful of my favorites. If you are buying rings, engagement or marriage or anniversary or just to keep your finger warm, you need to browse through here.

For an Engagement Ring- 

from S Kind Co

S Kind Co is my favorite find for engagement rings on Etsy. These rings perfectly ride the line between modern and traditional, feminine and simple. And they are crazy eco-friendly, but no one would guess unless you wanted to tell them. The company uses recycled settings, metals, and gems, and where they fill in with something new, they use moissanite. By re-pairing the old cuts with recycled settings, things look modern while being loaded with history. They also have a great mix of recycled diamonds and moissanite gems, so you can go with the eco-friendly option that works for you. Someone buy this one, because it is the prettiest thing ever.

from Engaged with Diamonds

Engaged with Diamonds is based out of San Francisco, and they have some of the most original and just cool rings I have ever seen. This ring reminds me of a string knotted around a finger, and I just love it.

from Estate Diamond Jewelry

Estate Diamond Jewelry sells some of the most beautiful rings you have ever seen in your life. They are also crazy expensive. I only found a couple under 10,000 dollars (this one is 5,800), so I think this is way out of most of our shopping ranges. On the other hand, if you are a fancypants looking to be eco-friendly, these antique and estate diamonds will be right up your beautiful alley. Need to look at more super snazzy rings that cost more than your car? Check out Antique Jewelry NYC.

from Ferguson's Fine Jewelry

Ferguson's Fine Jewelry sells all sorts of vintage engagement rings, wedding bands, and diamonds from earlier eras, Victorian, Edwardian, Art Deco, and Mid-Century. Lots look surprisingly modern, and you can find ones with alternate gemstones as well. Most are very simple and low-priced as well.

from Art Deco Diamonds

Art Deco Diamonds has one of the largest collections of rings I have seen on Etsy. They have lots of vintage and antique rings, and so many look almost like a traditional contemporary ring, but a little more detailed and a little more special. This is a good one to look at if your partner likes that deco style. For similarly unique rings, check Alistir Wood Tait- they are based out of the UK, so not perfect, but they curate some gorgeous antique rings (I especially love some of their other gemstones)!

from Wilson Brothers

If you are buying rings online, you probably want someone well-vetted. Wilson Brothers has over 2000 rings and over 2000 positive reviews already. With that much, you know you will see some variety so you have lots to choose from.

from Janish Jewels

Janish Jewels out of New York City sells rings with all kinds of alternative gems and conflict-free raw diamonds for rings unlike anything I have ever seen before. The lines are organic and unique, and I want to know the cool ladies who wear engagement rings like these. So different and so beautiful, but it definitely takes some originality to go this route.

from Shop Clementine

I can't finish this section without pointing to one more amazing shop- Shop Clementine. This jeweler, based out of Massachusets makes rings cooler than everything I own combined. Most have a minimalist aesthetic, but a slightly quirky one, and I love the subtlety of even the engagement rings- not everyone has to try to be like J Lo (that lady has knows gargantuan rings... also, divorce). You can also find lots of beautiful alternative gems. They use recycled metal, conflict-free stones, and they do wedding bands as well.

For Wedding Rings-

from Natural Ezanica

If you like wearing your nature-loving heart on your finger (or you just love the look of wood over metal, these rings from Natural Ezanica will be unique and perfect. They make me think of a minimalist wedding in Big Sur or a Hawaiian beach, Plus, the rose gold and other metals is recycled! This store has 600+ positive reviews as well, and they seem to be especially popular for grooms (it makes sense- they do have a masculine look).

from Brightsmith

Brightsmith from Austin, Texas sells woodgrain sets. But totally different from the last store- metal with an organic texture and aesthetic. I especially love the combination of thicker bark rings and the more delicate twig bands This store has more minimalist hammered bands, and they also have a whole "weddings on a budget" folder. The overall feel is rustic minimalist.

from Peaces of Indigo

Peaces of Indigo, from Nashivlle, sells some of my favorite wedding bands ever- these rings are made out of antique silver she has reworked and engraved to make patterned wedding bands. Not as minimal as most of what is popular now, but I love the bohemian feel, like you made the rings yourself out of your Grandma's silver. Just incredibly cool, and she has about 1600 glowing reviews, so you know they look even better in person.

from Mountain Ursus Designs

Want to outdo Mila Kunis? These rings from Mountain Ursus Designs are 27 dollars and made of all recycled copper. I kind of imagine Ron Swanson made them, because they are so straightforward, but copper is such a pretty color. No environmental impact beyond the shipping, and not all that much impact on your wallet either.

from Lilly Emme Jewelry

Looking for something sleek and traditional? Lilly Emme Jewelry from Seattle has wedding sets that match and look both pretty and simple, but they still seem special and kind of sweet. They are also made of recycled metals, so that is awesome.

from Aide Memoir

Aide Memoir sells rings made of 100% recycled metal and conflict-free gemstones, but you would never guess they were any different from any other wedding bands on the market. Minimal and pretty, plus the company sends money off to groups fighting for ethical mining. I love the alternatives they have for both genders, and nothing feels overly feminine or butch. They are also one of the only stores I have seen selling sets specifically for same sex couples, which seems like it should be way more common. Effortless and classic. Sweet Olive Jewelry also sells thin and minimal wedding rings for women. They are made using recycled materials, and they look absolutely beautiful. Nothing fussy and under a hundred dollars, but it might just be perfect.

from VK Eco Jewelry

VK Eco Jewelry makes their jewelry using eco-friendly methods and recycled materials out of Portland, Oregon. Most of their designs are simple and unfussy, but also have a really appealing softness.

Want a recycled ring but didn't find quite what you are looking for? I have a few more places for you to look- Sea Babe Jewelry, 2 Trick Pony, Tiny Sparkle Studio, Metal Wendler, okomido (also great for engagement rings), Torchfire Studio, Silver Smack, Lolide, esdesigns, The Sly Fox (love this store), Melissa Tyson Designs, and metaliscious.

5. Try Another Eco-Friendly Jeweler

Forget "alternative." Jewelers that take a more responsible approach to their work are so easy to find. And start local- ou may be surprised. Maybe because this is a field dominated by artists, you can find tons of creative and thoughtful solutions to the problems jewelry creates for the environment. You might find something right in yoru neighborhood. Maybe you won't be able to afford it, but you just might be surprised. It doesn't hurt to look. A few options I found (very quickly no less, though there is definitely a wide range of price points here); Ken and Dana Design, Monique Pean, Bashford Jewelry (more affordable), Leber Jewelry's Earthwise Collection, DoAmore Rings (part of a clean water initiative),

This is a lot right? And the waking of a certain toddler is cutting me off, so I will add even more later. Stay out of mall jewelry stores or places that aren't outspoken about the ethics of their diamonds' mining. It's a big deal, and you don't need that blood on your hands when you are walking down the aisle. Plus, you can save money, save fossil fuels, even reuse metal or gems this way- so your bands for life can do a whole lot of good!

And check out previous Wedding Wednesdays for more ways to make your wedding better for the world around you!

Read more