My Ten Favorite Buy Nothing Moments

I love my Buy Nothing Group.

I know, I talk about it a lot, but I genuinely feel that being part of the Buy Nothing Project radically shifted my perception of stuff, my community, even myself. The project connects neighbors through hyper local facebook groups. The members can offer and ask for things freely. It keeps things you don't want out of landfills and keeps people from wasting money. In cities, it helps you get to know your neighbors and in small communities, it creates new bonds. It's all kinds of awesome.

Expect me to keep talking about it, because my goal is that by the end of 4 years the 280,000 members will have grown to at least 2 million. It is all about people empowering themselves, but I am just going to keep talking about it until someone in Franklin, PA starts a group already. Or you give up and ask to join yours. This could help everyone, freeing up money to make more ethical and environmentally-responsible choices, so the more of us who join, the better.

It also just makes daily life better. When I get on facebook, my news feed shows me people being kind to each other, not because of who they are, but because that is what you do. I have had so many positive interactions with my neighbors, which is way swell, and I just feel better about the universe. That is pretty big these days. I have been in this gift economy for a year and a half, and these are some of my favorite interactions:

10. Gifting our Christmas Wreath

 I bought a fresh wreath at an elementary school fundraiser mostly to make my house smell like a real Christmas tree, even though we continue to use our trusty artificial one (It will look like a used fake eyelash before we throw that bad boy away). We were headed back home for the holidays, and it felt like a shame to let the wreath go to waste, so I gifted it to a young mom looking for a few decorations for her apartment. She walked a couple miles to get it, so I honored the badassery with glass of water, and we ended up sitting and chatting for a few hours while our kids played near each other (toddlers never play together- why do people pretend?). It was an unexpected way to spend our last Christmasy afternoon in the city. Plus that gorgeous pine stink still stuck for a while.

9. Gifted Tablecloths

My brother is getting married in a few weeks, so when someone recently offered 40 wedding tablecloths, I jumped at it. Do you know just how many tablecloths that is? It was HEAVY. Hopefully the tablecloths can get washed and regifted, so they will see at least 3 couples through their wedding day.

free

8.Gifted Popping Push Toy/ Plastic Shopping Cart/ Plastic Tree House/ Plastic Wagon

I hate fresh plastic toys- so much waste for no reason! Luckily, my son still got one of those magnetic drawing boards, the shopping cart, even one of those popper toys. His plastic tree house is one of his favorites. We just got them all for free. And when we are done with them, some other kid will get them for free. At this age, they can't tell the difference between used and new, and my hope is that I am giving him a different value system. The newest, shiniest thing doesn't have intrinsically more value.  More toys does not equal more fun. We have gifted toys and been gifted toys over and over again, so at any given time his collection is at least 50% used. It saves us so much money, but more importantly, it sends him important messages about consumerism and giving (not hoarding) as a regular part of life.

7.Gifting Spruce Sap

One of the group members was looking for sap from a spruce tree. We have a spruce tree! An hour or two later, our tree was less sticky and we got to help someone with a school project. Also, I learned that spruce trees are sappy. The best kind of random.

6. Gifting Treadmill/ Gifted Crib

We kicked off healthy 2016 by giving away our treadmill (perfect sense, right?). A woman got it, and her husband and his friend loaded it in their van. In November, I was gifted a crib from the same family. My husband and his brother loaded it into our car. Just goes to show that these things come around pretty fast.

about to find more pavers. also got the bucket (originally for frosting) on BN

5. Gifting Pavers

 Our flipped yard is really just built on top of the previous yard, so every time we go to do something, we find a whole floor of pavers underneath. Lucky for us, we kicked off our summer giving away a bunch of those big rocks to people to put paths through their gardens. One mom came with her toddler and loaded so many that it made her car sit lower. One woman's super annoying rock pit is another woman's treasure.

4. Gifted Food Magazines

For one of my class projects, I need pictures of food. Lots of pictures of food. So many pictures of food. Usually, I would buy a pile of food magazines and old cookbooks to fill that need. This year, I asked my Buy Nothing, and I got so many I shouldn't have to ask again for a long time. Happy to be recycling for someone, especially when the recycling turns out this cute.

3. Gifting (and watching Gifting) for people who really need it

Our city is growing fast, but lots of people are still really struggling, and I have been awed by how many times people have stepped up to help. I have seen people rally around moms leaving domestic violence situations. I have seen 10-20 people step up when someone asks for a ride to the hospital. I have seen them drop off food to someone who can't shop. We have given our newborn clothes to a premie and our swing to an exhausted mother of twins. We have given hats and warm clothes to the homeless. We have helped the group outfit elementary school classrooms with supplies. I have watch so many people empty their cupboards to help their neighbor.

I know we have problems, but I genuinely believe, have to believe that we as Americans are fundamentally good. When faced with an individual who needs help, I have never seen the group go silent. Someone helps. Usually, at least a dozen people offer. Being a participant in this is great, but it does my soul so much good to be a witness. Because when I leave my house, even in this big city, I know how many kind people are around me.

2. Gifting a Wedding Dress

I foolishly impulse bought a wedding dress at Priscilla of Boston because they were closing and had a ridiculous clearance. In the end. I wore a different dress. This spring, a woman asked if anyone had a wedding dress to gift or lend, and I did! So it traveled with my Dad and his wife across the country for her to try on. And it looked perfect. Little did I know I bought her dress for her, but it was fate. She looks amazing.

They get married next year, so I won't post a picture, but I could not be more excited about this. So glad the dress is going to good use and honored to have helped with their day!

1. Gifted the Dining Room Table

Last October, my husband was home for a sick day, and we ended up loading our sick butts into the car, renting a van, and going to a stranger's house to pick up the table. I had thrown my hat in for the table, but he was picked, then it didn't work in his space. Not only was it a kind of fun adventure, but I am super sentimental about this table. It was another growing family's first, and now our family will grow up eating their meals around this table.

It has been a lot of work (put on pause because we found out we were pregnant soon after), but the table only cost us 15 dollars for the van rental. Compare it to the same table at Pottery Barn, we saved over 2,000 dollars. We can put that money toward a trip or adventure for our family, and when it is done, we will still have a beautiful space. I love the table and I feel so grateful to live in the kind of neighborhood where things are given so freely and happily.

That's what this is all about to me. When we are willing to share with our neighbors, we can build new bonds and reprioritize our life. It doesn't have to all be about the next thing you are going to buy, and you spend most of the time considering what you have that you can give. If you aren't in a Buy Nothing group, check out their page and join. If there isn't one where you live, let's talk about starting one. This thing can change the world and change your life!

Read more

Wedding Wednesday- Unique and Eco-Friendly Wedding Invites and Other Paper Goods

from Alison Kate Design in Missouri

I have strayed away from this topic before, because it seems like one of the more obvious choices for greening your wedding- if you care about the environment, you have probably thought about this. On the other hand, I know I thought that recycled invitations all have a very specific look. Like a mason jar wrapped in burlap, but in paper form. Like maybe some granola will fall out of the envelope.

What is surprising is that you can get recycled paper invitations in ANY style. No matter what kind of scene you want to set, you can do it on recycled paper.

Once you know recycled paper invites (and other wedding paper goods- save the dates, thank you cards, etc.) can come in as mainstream, traditional, quirky, indie, or whatever else style you want, it opens up the opportunity to do something good on the sly. You can find anything you need without one tree falling down, and in that way, your wedding is doing some real good.

Here are some of the best options I found for Eco-Friendly wedding invitations that can be as unique or mainstream as you want them to be. Even if this isn't something you ever considered, be sure to take a look, because your wedding is a step into your future, and we all want a future with clear air.

Let's do this!

 Forever Fiances

This ridiculously cool save the date and wedding invitation company gives you two eco-friendly options for your invites.First, you can buy plantable invitations! These are made of recycled paper with plants inbedded inside of them, so your guests can go plant them after the fact. If that feels a little too heavy-handed for your style, they have recycled paper options as well (they call them "new tree free- I love that!). I actually like the plantable designs better than the recycled ones, but there are so many options and you can probably find something that works for your plans.

This is so unique and cool, and I think it sets the stage for a great wedding, whether you want to foreground your eco-friendly choices or let the day be about something else. Their prices are almost identical to shops like Wedding Paper Divas, so you won't be breaking the bank, AND you will be saving trees and even starting new ones! Either way, incredibly exciting. Why don't all companies work this way?

Jealous you can't get married again to use this company? Me too! They also sell personalized business cards, invitations, and other stationary, so check them out.

Your Local Invitation Maker (this includes you)

Lots of communities and cities have local options for calligraphers. It may be easier to get something online, but be sure to look around and see what is available near you, because dealing with an actual person can be more satisfying. You are supporting a local business, cutting down your weddings carbon footprint, and you can get exactly what you want.

If you are particularly talented in this area (and you have a good chunk of time), you could totally make your invites yourself! It would be a special and memorable way to go about it, you could pick recycled paper and soy inks, and you will probably save oodles of money to spend elsewhere. You can find eco-friendly papers at lots of these stores, like Green Field Paper Co.

 If doing the invites sounds like a lot, you can also consider how to use those skills or that beautiful penmanship elsewhere in the events; make the menu (maybe do one standing card per table or a large sign to cut down on paper), make seating charts or placecards or your programs. Paper comes in so many places, and anywhere you can consolidate or do it yourself, you can save money and save trees.

If you are going local, which is awesome, be sure to ask them about recycled paper and soy-based inks. Part of the perk of dealing with a smaller company is that you can talk to them face to face and hopefully work out something that is perfect! This is a cool way to support your community and to help the environment.

Minted

We bought our save the dates from this company, and they looked beautiful and used recycled paper and envelopes. One of the best things about this company is that they have a wide variety of designs coming from many different American designers, so you know your cards will have a style that matches you perfectly. This company always stays just a little bit ahead of trends, and their cards seem cool without trying too hard. They have almost a thousand options, and you can order most with recycled paper for 15-35 dollars extra (pretty affordable). I love them, and I think they are a great option.

Bloomin

Bloomin also sells plantable wedding invites, save the dates, thank you's, seating cards. Basically the whole shebang. I love how broad their paper supplies are, And their designs are mostly simple and timeless (especially considering the whole thing will be buried in the dirt in no time). Waste free and really special, this might still be a great option for one of your other wedding paper needs outside of the invites themselves.

In fact, my favorite might be "Growfetti" which would be a perfect substitute for bubbles (that come in little plastic containers), confetti, or rice. Just make sure it is alright at the place where you are getting married! A church lawn might not be the place, but a country wedding in a big field, it might be just fine.

Green Field Paper

This store sells recycled paper, seeded/ plantable paper, and even paper made of hemp. Before you stick your nose up, be sure to check it out, because they have so many options you might actually find the perfect thing. They don't have a ton of options, and I am not in love with all of them, but some are great and might be just your style. Plus, you can choose which paper your design comes on, so you get to prioritize what matters most to you.

As a side note, this company also sells Christmas cards, including ones made out of 100% junk mail. God bless this company, because that is genius.

Zazzle 

Recycled wedding invitations are becoming common enough now that lots of more mainstream companies like zazzle offer a recycled paper option. Another great option to look through if you aren't finding what you are imagining!

Twisted Limb

This company is on the opposite end of the Zazzle spectrum. They make handmade recycled paper that is stitched into invitations. As someone who has handmade paper before, I can tell you a heck of a lot of time and love went into these beauties. You couldn't get something more precious and special unless you made it yourself. To be totally honest, I am not sure invitations need to be such precious objects; we have kept some wedding invites but they aren't particularly treasured. But if you are having a very small wedding, it might make a really cool splurge.

Wedding Websites

Ok, I am not suggesting you only use an e-invitation unless that suits you (or you are having a pretty informal or tech-savvy wedding), but skipping the rsvp and having people rsvp online is a super efficient and cost effective (see also- free!) way to help the environment. If you send 100 invitations, just skipping the RSVP saves 100 pieces of paper and 100 envelopes. If you skip the whole invite, that is even more. If you are going that route, you can always do something simple like The Knot or wedding Jojo, or if you have the skills, pick something more open-ended, you techie you.

Arbor Day Foundation

Maybe you can't get your invites in these cards, but you could get your thank you cards there! It would be a simple way to have your wedding do some good- every card you buy will pay for a tree. So if you send 50 thank you cards, you also plant 50 trees. That's pretty amazing when you consider how many trees come down a year for wedding invitations.

Etsy

 We all knew I was going to end on this note, but do you know how many gorgeous invitation options you can find there? You can find one made in America (shorter trip, less fossil fuels, lower carbon footprint) and on recycled paper. We bought our invites on Etsy from someone in our state. We loved them so much, and because we were dealing with a real person,  I could just write her and we worked out tablenumbers too!You can also get printables and pick your own recycled cardstock. Here are a few to lust over, but your best bet is to write in "recycled wedding invitations and get to browsing. These are my favorites:

from Cricket Printing

from AMG Design Co

from Casey Snyder Design

from vohandmade

from Eco Weddigs by Cc

This is the tip of the iceberg- be sure to explore the links. I know when I was shopping, I looked for the perfect style that perfectly matched our colors and style and theme, etc etc. I did it, but I still wish I had prioritized differently. You can find that thing that is exactly what you want aesthetically, but we are asking you to This blog is suggesting that if you narrow the field to be "new tree free," you will end up something that may not be "perfect," but you will love it just as much, and you can feel really good about it.

Want more unique and Earth-friendly wedding inspiration?  Check out my Giant List of Shopping Lists!

If you like this post, please share it! This blog is all about making small changes. The more people who make these small shifts, the better the Earth will be!

Read more

Wedding Wednesday- Unique, Eco-Friemdly, and Reusable Cake Topper Ideas

I love a cake topper at a wedding. Part of this is that you just can't be mad about anything cake-related. The other reason is that even if you are at the most straightforward or traditional couple, you can still show a little bit of who you are with this detail. To me, the best weddings are undeniably the couple.

Weddings are a hotbed of waste, and even these details can be pretty wasteful. Anything that you only use or see for only one day is essentially wasteful. I mean, what happens to all those cake toppers after the honeymoon? Ours, which is such a sweet piece from Lollipop Workshop (I swear it wasn't that expensive, but it probably was), lives in a little glass dome in our dining room, but I have never noticed cake toppers up in many homes.

good luck, honey. thaat's a long life ahead of you. from Pieceofcaketoppers4u

So what happens to most cake toppers? Please tell me people aren't putting those horrible ones with the bride dragging the groom up in their house somewhere. You dragged him to the wedding and now you are dragging hi though life? Poor life choices.

Rather than buying something generic, this is the perfect opportunity to buy something local or made in America. People have all kinds of amazingly creative ideas out there. Plus, if you have something in mind, I bet you can find someone to bring it to life (or make somehting yourself- you can do it!). Some etsy toppers are expensive, but many are no more than what you would buy in the store. Step one of an eco-friendly topper is to buy or make something that hasn't traveled far.

So these are my best ideas for having a cake topper that you love, that is true to you as a couple, and doesn't spend the rest of your marriage in storage somewhere. Basically, how can you make a cake topper environmentally responsible AND awesome?

from Mr and Mrs Cake Toppers

1. Use Something you Already Love 

This could be anything. Maybe you have picked up trinkets on travels or collect something together. It could be any items you own (that fit on a cake and aren't completely unsanitary), and if it is important to you already, all the better. Do you get salt shakers on vacation? Use those! Collect erotic Precious Moments figurines? Sounds memorable! Wear each other's blood in vials? Please don't put that on the cake, but you get the idea. This idea will cost you nearly no money, can bring in a little more of your real life to the big day, and they can head back to their original purpose (with a little extra honor) once you are wed.

from Ever After Products

Now, you could go two ways with this. Either, leave them as is for a perfectly cool topper, OR dress them up in marital garb to make something no one has seen before (but might not fit as well with a collection). I am obsessed with ones like these gussed up dinosaur toys or these incredibly cool personalized funko pop dolls that ight fit perfectly in some bride or groom's already existing collection (you can be on a shelf with all of your favorite characters, for goodness sake).

from goose grease

2. Pick a Topper with its Future Spot in Mind

I think it would be cool to have your topper on a bedside table, as bookends on your shelf, or as a focal point on a dining room table or mantel. If you shop with the style of your home in mind, you could see your cake topper as a reminder of your wedding everyday (also, a reminder that cake is delicious). Using it as decor in your house is way more subtle and fun than the giant wedding picture. Not that it isn't great too, but this is a different approach. I think these wood peg doll toppers would look sweet and understated as part of your decor, and they aren't so precious or delicate that you have to hide them away. Check etsy for peg toppers, because they really are great.

from Wooden Heart Buttons

My favorite store for this might be Wooden Heart Buttons- a former cake decorator got sick of the expensive plastic toppers coming through and started making toppers with eco-friendly materials specifically intended to be used as decor in your home after the big day. Check them all out- they are beautiful.

from Juniper and Ivy

The laser cut toppers with text or silhouettes are on trend right now, and they could potentially look great in a frame or shadowbox on your wall for a very long time.  If you do go that route, be careful to pick something that is timelessly YOU. The "eat me" toppers are cute, but do you want that on your wall? Also, I'd go wood over plastic- it will look better in most cases (and you can more easily adjust it to fit in a frame)..

from Life Ephemera

3. Look for a Vintage Gem

 Are you a heterosexual Aryan couple that enjoys the good old days? There are already tons of little porcelain white people waiting for you. It doesn't have to be as vanilla as these people, and you can use vintage items to save money and minimize your wedding's footprint. You can get a basic vintage wedding topper for 10-15 dollars. Cheaper than the basic cake toppers available at Walmart, and it's that much less plastic being purchased. Some of these have more personality than others, but it can be a fun and eye-catching option.

from Protector of Vintage

This couple is really committed... to their eyebrows.

from Bean Jean Julie

These two look too old and too young at once- what state allows ancient babies to marry?

from Design Room 3

Love this one. They look like they want to kiss, but just can't figure out what to do next.

Jokes aside, if you are having a wedding with vintage flair, why not poke around and get something that is actually vintage?You can find all sorts of figurines and save the world from ne more object just sitting in an attic somewhere.

from bridal guide

4. Get Something that can have a New Life after the Wedding

 My brother-in-law and sister-in-law had a lego cake topper. They also have a basement full of legos. The topper was true to them, for sure. If you aren't ridiculously sentimental like I am, you can get a cake topper like this that you can actually take apart and use again! If you have kids, toys make a lot of sense. If you are handy, could you use tools? Good in the kitchen? How about a salt and pepper set you can use? It just has to have some use value once you are in your new normal life.

from uncorked and unrewined

5.  Recycled Toppers

 If you can't think of something with a practical life after the wedding, why not get a topper that had a life before? It is a wonderful world. Don't believe me? Look up "recycled cake toppers" on Etsy. Maybe some won't be your style, but one could be exactly right. They take trash and turn it into something you will treasure for the rest of your life. That's pretty cool. Can't find the perfect thing? You could also make it yourself! Get inspired and you can really put yourself out there.

from The Lost Key

I want to go to this steampunk wedding. And 40 dollars? That's a steal from The Lost Key.

from Ready Go

Ready Go makes cake toppers out of recycled cardstock. They are simple and lovely, and you could totally frame it afterward (recycled and reused? You win!). I do love their simplicity, and I think they look sweet without being saccharine or boring. You can also add children for blended families and even get personalized coloring book pages.

from wedding chicks

6. Just Skip It Completely

You know what cake without a topper is? Cake, so it is still the best thing ever, If tracking down the perfect topper seems like a waste of time or money to you, then just don't have one! And feel glad you are getting married at a time where almost every tradition is flexible. Never waste energy or money on the junk you don't care about, because why even throw the party if you aren't enjoying it?

Will I miss the topper? Yes, but there will still be cake. So I will still be happy.

Want more eco-friendly wedding ideas? I have TONS of them! You can make your wedding environmentally responsible by reducing waste, minimizing purchases, and buying items that have life beyond that big day.

Read more

9 Things for the Last 9 Days- Starting the Fall with the Bub

 1. Baby Handprint Ornaments-  We did these with the Bub too, and what I like most about them is that when I look at them, I can still hear the screams. I kid, sort of. Wow, my children hate doing them, but I didn't much enjoy labor, so it seems fair. They both produce something cute, and I like that these are basically the first of many sentimental art projects they will hate doing. Sorry boys, I am your mother and you are stuck with me.

2. Show me your Mumu- I am in a wedding later this year and have been on the hunt for a flattering dress, Made in America, of a certain length and color. Easy right? Well, I have found a bunch that fit the bill thanks to this company Show me your Mumu that still manufactures in the USA and has dresses so flattering and chic your bridesmaids might actually love them. I wish they had been around when we got married,

 3. This Year's Walk to End Alzheimer's- I didn't think I would be able to go, so I was especially glad to be there. I was also happy to do the walk with my in-laws, because the tradition is really about my husband's family, so it made it more special to share in the chaos with them. I also thought this year was in the nicest spot so far in Seattle, and it felt like it had a really enthusiastic and positive energy (last year didn't, but it was a much wetter and greyer day).

4. Breastfeeding in Seattle Center Surrounded by People- Just add it to my list of weird places where the boobs have been out. I don't think people cared, and I love my covered goods breastfeeding cover for being a nice scarf to just wear as well as a cover for everything. I can already see how people with 2 children lose steam for getting out in the world, but I want the new baby to keep getting out there too, so tools like these really help.

5. Fall- I could not be happier that fall is here. For me, this season feels like a fresh start, everything smells good, and the world is covered in color. I get to wear layers and put decorations up, so I can't complain about life right now. Seotember October, and November are the best. Excited for The Baby Bear's first fall, because his bright eyes just drink everything in.

6. Wall-E- You hear a lot about little ones liking Finding Nemo or Cars, but The Bub has just been captivated by Wall-E. You know that Pixar rocks what they do when a two year old is totally enamored from the first minute. I love that movie in general, but I love it even more now.

7. Green Onion and Recycled Plastic- Who would have guessed we would have a kid so granola that he likes sitting, eating his garden green onions, on that all-recycled plastic bench. Different than the life I thought my kids would have, but I like when things are happy and slow like this. 

8. Our First Homemade Pesto- The Boy made it with his mom, and it makes my life. I feel excited and proud that at the end of this summer, we weren't totally defeated by the "growing your own food" garden experiment. We certainly aren't self-sufficient, but it is still cool to make applesauce, pesto, chimichurri and more with the plants from our own yard. If nothing else, everyone should have a herb garden. It has saved us so much money!

9. Barb- Yes, we are finally watching Stranger Things. Yes, it is as good as everyone says. We are only halfway, but the third episodes is one of the best episodes of any television show I have seen ever. People talk about the show in terms of Spielberg and nostalgia, but you could also bring iconicity into the conversation. How do you choose details that are striking enough that they stick immediately? Because that is what is happening here, and the icon of my heart is Barb. In a world full of Nancies, be a Barb.

Read more

Wedding Wednesday- 10 (Eco-friendly) Ways to be the Favorite Shower Guest

In one lifetime, most women will go to a LOT of bridal showers. Some will be of women who absolutely own our hearts. Others will be for our boyfriend's cousin's fiance where we will awkwardly sit in the corner. Either way, there will be a registry, and there will be a long chunk of shindig where we watch the bride, groom, or both open gifts.

So, how does bridal showering change when you are trying to be eco-friendly or buy local?

It can be a challenge. The couple gets to make an exact list of what they want, and if it turns out to be full of Made in Elsewhere junk that hurts your heart to buy, you can really feel stuck between compromising your own priorities or being the jerk buying decorative birdhouses.

These are my best ideas of how to be an awesome guest, how to break the mold enough to be interesting, but not so much that you are the one they tell stories about later. You can kick ass at bridal showering and stay eco-friendly! Here's how:

1. Pair the Personal with the Practical- Something small and personal makes for the most memorable gifts. One of our friends gave us a little stone with our faces painted on as a wedding gift. It is still one of my favorites. I also received two quilts and a blanket that I love and continue to be in use at our house. If you know the wedding colors or something they might need for the wedding, you could go that route. We received some things that were thoughtful, but not that useful (a lot of decorative platters) and some that were practical but not personal, but if you can combine registry desires with a personalized theme or something you made yourself, you can really nail the gift.

2. Forget Adulting, Put in for the Honeymoon- Looking at the registry and having trouble finding an eco-friendly option? Ugh, that smarts. The couple may be equally happy to accept money OR if you want to go big, ask after their honeymoon and put money specifically toward that. Wedding showers are especially all about practicality, and that can become a drag, so see if you can't invest in a cool memory for them on their trip.

There are registries specific for honeymoon funds, but even if they don't have one, I bet they will love the help. I know one of my friends skipped out on the activity she most wanted to do, because it was too expensive. In retrospect, I wish I could have skipped the wedding/shower gift and put money in for that. Stuff is just stuff, but making new and amazing memories can fuel a marriage.

3. Come Prepared to Have Fun- You want to give your bride a gift? Have a great time. The hosts can only prepare so much- once you get to a party, the fun of the shindig depends on all of the guests. Time to play silly games? Go into it with Olympic intensity to make it awesome. Small talking with the bride's crazy relatives? Lean in, my friend. Don't sit in the corner, only hang out with your people, or worst of all, let someone else be uncomfortable or alone.

At a wedding, in my expert opinion, you are contractually obligated to start the bride and groom's marriage off with a full dance floor and happy faces. Do the shower version of that.

4. Write a Good Note- Showers can be overwhelming events where the bride or groom doesn't get the time they hope for with each guest (I know I felt that way). No matter what you decide to gift, a thoughtful note and some encouragement might be the best gift you can give. Write something personal and genuine, and you could very well make his or her day when they can really go through things without an audience.

5. Skip the Lingerie- No one wants to open something seedy with all of their aunts watching. Maybe someone does, but if you aren't sure that is that bride, just skip it. If you want to do something romantic, buy some gift certificates to local restaurants and invest in some date nights. Seriously, underwear gifts are way more weird than clever.

6. Go in Together for One Gift- Don't hate- collaborate! You may not have the.budget for a really fabulous gift, but you could go in with other guests to go big. We get into this idea that more gifts= better gifts, but there is something to be said for a gift they may not be able to afford themselves. They can go buy a kitchen clock themselves, but a new set of knives might be way out of reach. Not to mention, this gesture might save them from the long, awkward present-opening part of the shindig, which is a lot of pressure.

You can do this two ways- collect money anonymously, and figure out what you an buy with it. Or, pick something first and let people donate with knowledge of the endpoint. Spend less time worrying whether the generosity is equal- it's not a competition.

7. Take Pictures- Ok, maybe this seems silly, but I think one of the best things you can do for a couple on the path to getting married (or having a baby) is to be positive, enthusiastic, and to help document any and all festivities. You get to the other end of things and can feel like it slipped through your fingers, so some pictures from others helps them have a fuller perspective on these days and all of the good stuff happening. It costs you no money, minimal time, and can really be so sweet and thoughtful.

8. Make the Switch or Get out of the Box- Not excited about the registry? You can try to do a switch out using my suggestions on The Eco-Friendly and Made in America Wedding Registry. Don't see anything that speaks to you? What are some other things they will definitely need? What about movie tickets or some other kind of date night? Gift cards for take out places with their menus? A cheese of the month club. Invest in the memories they will make as a couple! Or go a totally different route and cut out a practical concern for them- give them all the quarters they will ever need for laundry with The Simply Co soap and dryer balls. Get them all the tissues they will ever need and a throw blanket for sick days. Get them Amazon Prime or a netflix subscription. By shifting your paradigm to less concrete gifts, you can really come up with something cool.

9. Buy 3 Used Gifts Instead of One New One- This is true for baby showers too- some things on registries (measuring cups, anything glass, kitchen tools) are ALWAYS for sale in consignment and antique stores. Still look at what they want, but get something a little more special and a LOT more cost-effective. You can get 4 kitchen tools at Goodwill for the same cost as one from Bed Bath and Beyond. Way to help them fill up that kitchen AND reduce waste!

10. It's All About Them- Sometimes you know the bride or groom better than others; it is well worth it to keep who they are in mind before you go for it. Maybe they are the kind of people who would LOVE practical gifts like a year's worth of paper towels and toilet paper- think of the drudgery they can skip! Other people would hate it. If you aren't sure, call one of those numbers on the RSVP line and ask them. If it still seems risky, do 60% what they said they want and 40% something a little riskier.

Read more

Fourth Anniversary Inspiration- Fruit and Flower Inspiration and Fun

By your fourth anniversary, it sure can be easy to phone it in. Just head out to dinner and call it a day. I know we did that here way more than I would have liked, but we are also 9 months into a pregnancy, so I forgive us. Some years you just aren't going to nail it.

On the other hand, I think this anniversary (and it's fruity theme) actually lends itself to TONS of cool and fun ideas for activiities and decorations. You can do this one WELL, my friends. Do better than we did.

 Make this year a fun memory, not just a throwaway.

What to Do

The ideas on Pinterest for this anniversary are particularly lame. Basically, just fruit puns. I have nothing against fruit puns, but its no inside tent or leather den or really anything fun. But clearly, they have missed the boat here, because I think so many great ideas are waiting to happen!

1. Berry-picking- I know it sounds cheesy, but we have had the best time doing this. Living in Northern California, we could actually go pick strawberries right by the beach. Can you hear the sea lions when you look at this picture? Needless to say, it was cool. Lots of areas, rural and urban have picking farms nearby, and dependent on your anniversary date, you could do whatever is seasonal and available. Then go home and make something with it. It's an activity that is out of the ordinary, but it won't break the bank either.

2. Start a garden- Are you a late-spring/ early-summer couple? You got this. Plant something. Plant a bush or a tree in the anniversary's honor, and every year you can see how much it grows. Don't have a yard? Plant an herb garden you can use at home OR look and see if there is any planting that needs done in your neighborhood. You could even volunteer together for replanting somewhere or to work for a day in a community garden. It can be so fun to get your hands dirty, and isn't it always somehow better to do this kind of thing for someone else?

A good way to revise the flower/ fruit theme is "Growing." Your marriage isn't new anymore, but now we all know the secret that things don't stop growing just because they aren't saplings. Think about things that grow in your life and build your anniversary plans around keeping things growing.

3. Go to (or Make) Dinner Together- We went out for a fancy dinner this year, and when food is part of the theme, a dinner makes sense (otherwise, it can feel a little bit like the easiest possible answer).But I do think food in general makes sense, and if you have a fruit that especially resonates, you could pick it as a theme for food for the week!

Do a fun fruit salad. Or carve something out of fruit? I want to see some anniversary- themed watermelon sculptures!

I mean, come on. From Seasons of Joy

Maybe try a whole week of new recipes? Could you make a whole week of mango meals? Or try all the weird fruits in the grocery store you never go near? I think there is a fun adventure here waiting to happen. On that note...

What to Eat

This anniversary screams cake, so I am kind of freaking out that I haven't picked a cake (or its toppers yet). How do you pick when there are so many good options? Two years ago I made a lemon cake, and I will be honest with you, it wasn't that good. I obviously didn't pick the right thing. So this year I am looking for some fruity inspiration:

from Design Sponge

Pie! I love this anniversary pie from Design Sponge. So simple and chic, and it might be a good choice if you aren't a cake couple. I love this heart pie crust as well.

from Eat Spin Run Repeat

Fruit Cake. You can do an actual fruitcake for a Christmas anniversary, but how cool is this for summer anniversaries? I love Eat Spin Run Repeat's step by step tutorial, but you really could make an amazing cake with whatever fruit you like (or matches your wedding colors).

Just a Regular Old Amazing Cake. There is infinite pinteresty goodness around cakes with fruit. This is a goldmine, so you only have to find what idea fits you best. I had all sorts of ideas, and our cake was jank. I mean, really jank. Such a mess that I won't even put it up here, which I am never above doing. So let's look at other people's successes and ignore my 4th year failure:

from Baker by Nature

Baker by Nature has a recipe for a seriously beautiful lemon and blueberry cake. So nice, and it looks so pretty.

from Dagmar's Kitchen

This chocolate cake by Dagmar's Kitchen was the vision I had in my head when I thought about the cake. So pretty with the chocolate and the berries. Someday later I will make this cake. This one from Tastes Better from Scratch looks like a nice combination of the two.

from Plain Chicken

Lemon Sour Cream Pound Cake from Plain Chicken looks less fussy but still very pretty. Might be a good route if you don't have a ton of time.

Ok, these are my best fruit and flower ideas! What did you do for your 4th anniversary?

Read more

Throwback Thursday- Everything You Might Want for an All-American (and Eco-Friendly) Backyard Barbeque

Every 4th of July, my Dad throws a picnic in his backyard that is one of my favorite times of the year. His dixieland band plays by the river, I see lots of people I genuinely love, and then we sit by the water and watch fireworks. I also eat a hot dog, which I know is probably some environmentalist abomination (is there plastic in it? Who knows), but it is also delicious. I don't eat them all the time, but damn I love an excuse for a hot dog.

My dad and his wife's approach to this party is pretty laid back, and people bring dishes and chairs. The chill is part of the appeal, but now that I am a bourgeois environmentalist, I am wondering if you can switch out some of the "easy" elements of a barbeque for something a little more ethical. Take care of our beautiful summers! And, if it is 4th of July, shouldn't your party be All-American too? It sounds crazy, but a little research shows me this goal is completely possible.

There is a general assumption about outside parties that you want cheap so you can just throw it all away. There's wisdom in that- who wants to put out the fine china for your hot dogs? If you are having a big crowd over, who wants to wash all those plates?

But if you want it to be truly disposable, SKIP PLASTIC COMPLETELY!

 It will last just as long (if not longer) than your regular wares, and you are just adding to a landfill future generations are going to have to deal with.

At the very least, we can all switch out the easy option for the better option in a place or two. It can save money, save American jobs, and save the planet. That's a lot of good to set your hot dog on!

Don't want to go all out? Plastic-free picnic, my friend.

Also, this blog doesn't address actual food items much, because the real rule of thumb is whatever you can get locally (from your farmer's market, roadside stand, local grocer, etc) is the most eco-friendly choice you can make. Probably the most healthy for you as well. The best way to answer that question is to get out there and see what you can find. You might be surprised and, better yet, inspired!

 Let's talk about all the great options that are out there for an Eco-friendly or All-American Picnic!

Anchor Hocking from Amazon

Drink Dispensers- One time use plastic water bottles are the bane of my existence (loyal readers know that Nestle Pure Life is my sworn enemy), but I can't remember the last time I went to a picnic without one. Why? Because lugging water can be a real pain. I get it, this one is annoying, but cans are actually more easily recycled and plastic bottles are an abomination that makes the angels weep. Instead, why not try a drink dispenser filled with water and give out cups? You could even do a couple and have a few choices for your guests other than pop or bottled water. Drink Dispensers will also save you big money in a relatively short time. A case of bottled water is a lot more expensive than the tap water you can filter in your own house.

Our Pick- We have a drink dispenser made by Anchor Hocking that we really love, and it weirdly makes things feel more summery. We have mostly put strawberry lemonade in ours but water would work perfectly well. I like this one with a chalkboard as well, but I will say it may depend where you are having your picnic. If it isn't right in your backyard, that might be a long way to lug a glass dispenser!

If you do have a further distance to take your dispensers but still want to make a more ethical choice, I did find a Made in the USA and BPA-free version from Buddeez. Yes, it is still plastic, but you can reuse it for all of your picnics. here is a set of 2, where it looks like you can put fruit and other fun stuff at the top (just skip those plastic glasses). Think of how many one-time use plastics you have side-stepped!

Coolers- Ok, so you still want some pop there. I get it. Pop is delicious- go can not bottle. Cans are still cheaper and more efficient to recycle, so they are the better choice by far. If you need a cooler, I can cover you on that too.

Our Pick- Used! Coolers mostly last forever, and lots of people have more than they need. I see them on Buy Nothing pretty often, so you might just try asking around for coolers. I bet some of your picnic guests have coolers at home- have them bring it with some ice as their contribution to the party. You could also try something a little less traditional if you are going for looks- I have seen metal buckets on many a pinterest post for wedding drinks. You might also be able to track one of these down used.

Both Coleman and Rubbermaid coolers are still made in the States; in fact, the coolers were the only thing in Target's 4th of July section that were actually made in the US! Gah, I still can't get over how embarrassing that is. Coleman sells a steel cooler if you want to skip the plastic, and honestly, it is so pretty! I had no idea, but I love the retro feel, and it could add a little style to your picnic while minimizing the plastic you use. New favorite in my book.

Grizzly Coolers look a little tough for your average picnic, but these plastic coolers are also made in the US, so it might be the right option for you!

Susty Party from Amazon

Cups- Ok, this is one lots of us don't even buy anymore- you just buy cans and bottles, but it is worth it to eliminate some of this waste, because they can be hard to recycle. If you want to have a more environmentally-friendly party style, you have two great options- buy something you can reuse, or buy something that biodegrades easily, so they don't make any waste.

Our Pick- Honestly, we mostly just use our regular glasses. We have enough, and it seems fine to me. We have never hosted any really big parties though, so if we did, I think we would probably get something like this. We would probably buy clear, biodegradable cups if need be. Swirly Twirly sells paper cups that look fun and biodegrades easily. Want to get something really patriotic? Sur La Table is selling cups that really commit (and are made in the US with biodegradable materials- so great).

Green Point (maybe made in the USA? Mixed feedback on that, which is usually not a good sign) and Eco Products sell a clear corn-based cup, but they are a bit of a gamble because reviews say they melt in direct sun.  Susty Party also sells clear biodegradable cups, but they are made in China, and I honestly like the designs of their paper cups more (especially for a 4th of July picnic).

If you want to go very country and classy, you could buy a bulk set of mason jars for your outside drinking. Both Ball jars and Kerr jars are made in the US, and you could keep the big box they come in to just pack them up for the winter. I feel like this idea works perfectly if your life belongs on Pinterest. Still, washing them and putting them back in storage would be pretty easy, and you can use them for every picnic for the rest of your life, no problem. Just make sure you get an 8 or 16 oz jar. Nothing too big or with too narrow a mouth! You can get 12 for 9 dollars, so they are actually cheaper than plastic tumblers in many cases.

Seventh Generation on Amazon

Napkins and Paper Towels- We have mostly switched to cloth napkins in our house, but even if you can get that eco friendly, who wants to deal with a big party's worth of napkins? Who even owns that many?!? Paper napkins make more sense, and you can buy a bulk set of something recycled and made in America. There is basically no reason to get anything other than recycled napkins anyway.

Our Pick- Seventh Generation napkins are recycled, unbleached, made in America, and still really soft! Are they the prettiest napkins you have ever seen? No. But people's party obsession with napkins is frankly pretty stupid. When have you ever said "Oh that party was so fun. I really loved the napkins"? Oh, never? Yes, that's true for everyone, so recycled makes perfect sense, and you can get them in bulk for crazy cheap (and probably never have to buy napkins again). If you want that crisp white napkin, Seventh Generation sells some bleached versions that are still 100% recycled. 4

Love a pretty napkin but still want something pretty? Check out the Susty Party napkins- made in the USA, 100% recycled, 20% post-consumer.

Still haven't found what you are looking for? Check out Natural Value for Made in the USA and 100% recycled. Green Forest and Marcal have great options too!

Preserve from Amazon

Paper Plates- This is a category where you don't even have to deviate far from the mainstream. Chinet makes some of their paper plates out of recycled material that can be composted. They are also made right here in the United States!

Want something a little more stylish or a little more tree-friendly? I have got you covered on both fronts! Susty Party makes square compostable plates out of sugar cane biproduct. Some of their party supplies are made in the States, but I don't think this is one of them. My pick would probably be MV Trading's Tree Free plates, which are made from sustainably harvested bamboo and are completely compostable! Earth's Natural Product also makes plates from sugar cane, but they are made in China, so it is a trade off.

If you do love plastic plates, Preserve (one of my favorite Made in the USA companies) sells plastic plates you can clean over and over again. When you are all done with them, the company will take them back and recycle them- so cool!

Silverware- Sure, use up the lifetime supply of spoons and knives you have sitting around. But there are better options for this.You can go three ways with this, and they are all way better than the plastic silverware we grew up with.

 First, you can pick a biodegradable material, so when those forks (and spoons and knives, but who are we kidding, just forks) get thrown away, they can be composted or will at least break down with time. Emerald sells a cornstarch set- I have used the cornstarch cutlery before, and it is a little rougher than plastic, but they are sturdy and you can reuse them before you have to compost them, so they might be a good fit! Transitions 2 Earth also sells a biodegradable set they claim will break down even in the landfull- they have solid reviews, and most say they sneak by like normal disposable cutlery. Repurpose makes plant-based silverware that has a good reputation for standing up to hot food while still being compostable and biodegradable. They are made in Taiwan, so not perfect, but a pretty good option.

You can get wood utensils like these from Pretty Sweet Party that will obviously break down with time (I also think they look much cleaner and more stylish, if that is a thing you care about). You can just get forks as well. These are very smooth (though a little short?), and they are made in the United States! Creative Juice Cafe and Olia Designs sells a really lovely set as well. If you just like to picnic with your family, let me recommend these rePeat utensil sets made of wood and recycled plastic bottles.

The other option is to get recycled plastic cutlery and then reuse it. Preserve makes recycled and foodsafe cutlery that you can use over and over. And they make them here in the US! You can also buy the things you need (forks) in bulk as well, and if you reuse, it should set you for life (unless you throw some massive picnics). When you decide you are done with it, you still don't need to throw it away! You can mail used products back to them and they will recycle them for you. In my opinion, there is really no reason not to use something like this, and just have a separate bun for people to throw their cutlery in, no more trash!

Tranquilo straws from Amazon

Straws- Paper straws can be a cute way to add to the spirit and decor of your event, and they can have a mostly positive environmental impact! Woot! My pick, forever and always, will be Tranquilo paper straws. Not only are they biodegradable and made in the US, they also donate a portion of their proceeds to The Ocean Cleanup Project. There is absolutely NO reason to buy plastic straws EVER again, and these are the best of the best. If you are planning an event of any kind, including a barbeque, you can check their huge selection and find the perfect straws. If you wanted another option for being amazing, Susty Party sells FSC certified paper straws that are also made in the US! I love that you can get them in BULK, because restaurants could switch over too. This set might be my favorite for the 4th of July.

Aardvark also sells paper straws made in the US, but according to reviews, they don't hold on as well in liquid. For our wedding, I think we used Kikkerland- the straws are sturdy and biodegradable, but they are made in China, so it depends on your priorities. I found some 4th of July-themed paper straws from Creative Juice Cafe as well if you want to be really spirited!

Picnic Blankets and Chairs- At Pagmanda's picnic, people mostly bring their own seats. Mostly, this means folding chairs and blankets. Chairs seem to always already be in someone's closet, but they had to get there somehow. I don't think people buy these often, and our picnic blankets are almost always just blankets that we have already gotten a lot of use out of. It doesn't get it's own blanket.

If you do want a picnic blanket that is a little more special than your well-worn blankets, Etsy seller Sewn Natural sells some of my favorites, but these blankets come at a pretty steep price. Modern Cabin sells really pretty ones as well.

Need some serious and stay put lawn chairs? My favorite are Polywood chairs, which are made in the US from recycled plastic. They are getting so popular that you can buy them from Target, and you can find other brands, like Eco Poly Furniture, doing the same thing, so you might check your local garden or outdoorsy store. They absolutely aren't cheap, but if you want something that stays in your yard and the color lasts forever, these could be your (very eco-friendly) chairs. To put it in perspective, you can buy similar "synthetic" but good looking furniture out of all new plastic for the same or more money, so boo on you, Highwood.

Looking for something to fold up and bring with you to picnics or parades? Telescope Casual makes those exact chairs (in lots of versions- some open box and cheaper, so poke around). I researched the chairs people bring to sports games or camping now (you know, the ones with armrests with cupholders and mesh), but I didn't find any definitive answers. When I figure it out, I will let you know.  Need some to pull out just for special events? Glo Dea makes pretty wood folding chairs that look really stylish and comfortable, but are still made in the USA!

from Lot 450

Citronella Candles- The trick to being eco-friendly when buying a candle is to avoid paraffin. It's another petroleum-based product and it does not burn clean. So you are breathing in a bunch of nastiness. Almost all mainstream candles, from Yankee Candle to most citronellas, are made with paraffin wax, but you don't have to look too hard to find great candles in soy wax, beeswax, or other substitutes (at about the same price too). You can also actually clean out the jars they come in, so they can get reuse.

Our Pick- We just bought two citronella candles from Etsy stores- Lot 450 Store and Zax Beeswax. I can say they look great and the smell isn't quite as rough, but I will have to update this to let you know how they work. But I am excited to have cut this needless chemicals and non-renewable resource out of our home.

Candle options have exploded in recent years, so you have lots of options. Bite Lite sells soy candles that uses essential oils to repel bugs away. A year ago, I would have thought that was too crazy and granola, but we started using peppermint oil to keep ants and spiders out of our house, and it works so well! Sugar Creek sells a paraffin-free candle as well in a 16 oz jar, so this should last you a long time. You can find tons, and if you don't care about paraffin, you can still keep an eye out for Made in the USA candle choices.

Yard Games- In case your party needs some games (ours don't always go that route, but it can be really fun for somebody when it does), you can find them made in America way more than you might expect. You can find anything on this list Made in America on Etsy or Amazon, or you can use someone else's idea as an inspiration and make your own:

Giant Jenga (this looks so fun! And you can find lots of options)
Frisbee (I really like these ones from The Wright Life as well)
Cornhole Boards (tons of these on Etsy, some made of recycled wood)
Cornhole Bags
Horseshoes (St. Pierre has a set too)
Ring Toss
Badminton (only assembled in the US

This is one that I feel like I am missing lots of things- try going to your local sports store and ask what is made in the US still. Or make some games! It might be fun!

Hefty Trash Bags on Amazon

Trash Bags- Yep, we may not think about it, but at a picnic, don't you feel like you always have to look and find the garbage bag hanging off the corner of some table? Your best option would probably be PAPER grocery bags, but if that doesn't make sense for you, then always use recycled trash bags. Right now everything that is described as biodegrading plastic (in this case) doesn't cut the mustard (if you actually want biodegradable bags, I highly recommend Biobags, but they are mostly for green waste, not regular garbage). They basically break up into tiny pieces that will be impossible for our children and grandchildren to clean up someday. Instead, look for garbage bags with a high percentage of post-consumer plastic.

Our Pick- Hefty sells a recycled garbage bag made of 65% recycled plastic. I love this because it sends a mainstream brand the direct message that their recycled initiatives are worth it and will sell.

Other recycled bags that still have solid reviews- Seventh Generation (55%, 16% post-consumer recycled), Earthsense (60% recycled), Pride Green (100% recycled, but they do have lower reviews, so may not stand up as well to party use), and the best is If You Care (97% recycled with glowing reviews).

Lodge at Sur La Table

Grill Gear- Most of the time we aren't really buying a new grill. If you are, Weber makes some of theirs in the United States, and you can buy them from Sur La Table- if it isn't worth it to you, you can also find TONS of used grills on Ebay- used and US, treat them like the only choices! Even if you aren't buying a grill, you might need a tool or two for your planned menu, so here are a few ideas.

You can find most anything you would need made nearby- Grill brush, grill pan, grill basket. Serious about your grill pans? Lodge sells a cast iron one, and like everything they make, it is no joke. If you are going to do a lot of grilling this way, Lodge is an investment.

LA Linen from Amazon

Tablecloth- This is the kind of thing you just sort of throw in the cart while shopping for other things, and often we settle for something disposable, because it seems a lot easier. But these are usually plastic, which means you can throw it away, but as a planet, we are still stuck with it. Basically, forever. And if you can use the same cloth (even vinyl or polyester) one over and over, the cost might be higher up front, but in the long run, you can save money over those disposable table clothes year after year.

You could very well be able to find something perfect for outdoor use at your neighborhood Salvation Army or Goodwill. I always see lots of tablecloths there, and if you don't have to worry about size, this could be the ticket.

My other pick? LA Linen makes a bunch of outdoor tableclothes in different sizes and fabrics (though mostly polyesters). Everything is made in Los Angeles, and they are also washable, so you can just throw them in with other laundry. Want one like your grammy has? Blue Hill sells those checkered vinyl-y ones that remind me of grandparents. The upside is that they repel stains, the down side is if they do get dirty, they are harder to clean.

If you wanted to take on a craft project, these tablecloths made of sewn-together bandanas look patriotic and cool, and you can buy bandanas made in America for pretty cheap. Essma clothing sells their Made in the USA bandanas in packs of 12. It's a great deal, and you can made a really fun and memorable tablecloth quickly.

Valley Forge Flags from Amazon

Decor- I just posted a blog on amazing 4th of July decorations that are made here and could definitely take your 4th of July picnic to another level. If nothing else, you might want an American flag this summer. You would think all American flags are made here. You would think wrong, because that isn't the case at all. So if you want to get an ethical (and actually patriotic) flag, Valley Forge Flags are one of your best bets (look locally too, just check those tags!).

Ok, Paggy, what barbeque stuff am I forgetting? These are just the kinds of things we would never think twice about just picking up whatever at the store and tossing it when we are done. But that doesn't work anymore, and we know better. No picnic is worth that much more headed to the landfill, and since you are feeding more people than usual, you can make a bigger impact with one meal! Score!

Want more shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Shopping Lists here!

Read more