How Do Christians Give Gifts at Christmas?

Today is Black Friday, and that supposedly means the beginning of the Christmas season. Really? A day of sales and crazy lines for printers and tv's is how we kick off our celebration of the birth of Jesus? If Jesus were alive today, do you think he would go to Walmart for that crazy deal? So why is this such a significant part of our Christmas?

Don't get me wrong. I love gift-giving. It is my love language, and honestly, I have bought and receivd some great gifts in my time. I take it seriously, because I really love to show people how much I care about them. I have family members who are ridiculously great gift givers.  But I can't figure out where the balance is between being a good Christian and really celebrating Christmas, and that seems like such a weird conflict to me. I would never ever suggest someone is a bad Christian because they buy a lot of gifts or because of where they buy them from, but I do think there are parts of these decisions that aren't often considered from a religious perspective, and maybe they could be.

Even though I write this blog, I find it easy to get caught up in the desire to buy great gifts, but the more I think about it, the more I question where the line is between gift-giving that brings people closer together and closer to God vs. gift-giving that really has lost the plot. This is a weirdly personal question, and I think the answer might be different for everyone, but I think it's a question worth asking.

This topic has been looming large in my mind the past few weeks- exactly how does our family celebrate Christmas in a way that is faith-based instead of revolving around commercialism? I mostly don't talk about my faith on this blog for a couple of reasons:

1. I make money off this blog (no, not a lot. So far, I have made a whopping 11 dollars) and I don't think Jesus or my relationship with him makes a good product or brand. I think there is a reason that Jesus got so angry when he saw people selling things in a temple. Christianity and commercialism don't mix that well in my opinion.

2. I don't think what I write about is exclusively useful to Christians. Or Liberals. Or environmentalists. The whole point here is that taking care of the Earth is everyone's task, and our over-consumption is everyone's problem. We may all come at it different ways or for different reasons, but changing our approach to material things is beneficial to anyone, no matter their walk of life or how seemingly small the step.

That being said, I do think first of my fellow Christians and my own lived faith this time of year.

And when did we start looking to businesses (whose primary goal by definition is to make money) to be arbiters of our faith? If this day is sacred to us, why would we want Starbucks to use it to sell more coffee? Why would we be so willing to see it sold out, but even worse, be offended when companies aren't using it to schlep cheap goods? Something is wrong here.

I will be honest with you. I am not throwing our Christmas tree away, and I will still be giving presents to loved ones in the next month. At the same time, I am ready to stop just talking the talk about what a shame it is that Christmas is so commercialized. It's time to make a change.

 I think it is time for some concrete goals. Read on if you are with me.

Why Do Christians Give Gifts?

Christmas gifts are important to Christians first because the three wisemen brought gifts for the baby Jesus when he was born. More symbolically still, the gifts refer to Jesus himself as a gift given to the world. In other words, our gifts are meant to mimic the amazing and miraculous gift-giving of God. Lucky for all of us, gifting is apparently His best love language.

The other symbols at Christmas spin off of these two themes. Santa Claus is a modern incarnation of Saint Nicholas, a 4th century Greek bishop who was known specifically for his generosity and giving. He gave to strangers, primarily, which resonates with the wisemen figures, who gifted to Jesus Christ, not to each other.

During the Middle Ages, the stocking tradition was tied to Saint Nicholas's name day, towards the beginning of December. He put gifts in their socks. During the reformation, Martin Luther tied this generosity to the gift of Christ, and Saint Nicholas moved his sock-filling a little later.

Gift giving has moved dates more than once too- because it was modeled after the wise men, some Christian traditions, especially Catholicism, gave gifts at or until Epiphany in Januray (ever wonder where the 12 days of Christmas comes from?).

The Christmas Tree is only about a thousand years old, but the fir tree was part of Pagan rituals before that. Now, it is said to symbolize everlasting life. Which is also a pretty massive present when you think about it.

So even Santa Claus, who often gets a bad rap as the stand in for all Christmas commercialism, ties right back to the gifts of the wisemen and the gifts of Jesus Christ. So this is a part of our tradition, but how does a few humble gifts in a sock turn into gift mountain?

So then, How much is too Much? 

Whatever I think is just enough, it should probably still be less than that. The story of St. Nicholas is about small gifts that make a big difference. The wisemen brought grand but also small gifts.

Right now, the average American parent spends 271 dollars a kid on Christmas gifts. We are in such a rush for our gift shopping that Black Friday is creeping into Thursday. When talking to kids about Christmas, the most commonly asked question is about what they want for themselves.

This obsession with buying gifts, so so many gifts, is costing us in so many ways.

Our generation works constantly to afford all the things we want, rather than spending time together.

Our committed searches for the best deals encourage companies to drop their standards around labor and materials. Jobs are outsourced to places where they can treat people badly. Tons of fossil fuels are  wasted needlessly so those slightly cheaper crayons can travel half way around the world.

I want to underline this again, other human beings also created by God and in His image are treated worse than we can imagine so we can get that cheap gift. In the past few years, it has come out that there are factories using child and slave labor. A factory making clothes for Walmart and other stores YOU shop from was in such poor conditions that a fire killed hundreds of people.

This is not a thing out there that some other mean person did. We helped in this, and we need to change it.

And it doesn't stop there. Those big piles of gifts cause other problems as well. Trees are being cut down at rapid rates when we need them most to keep our air clean and our temperatures down. Beaches are covered daily in garbage, like the plastic those cheap toys come wrapped in. Landfills are filling up and our children's water is being poisoned with plastic.

Now, if we see the planet as a beautiful gift from God, one of the best gifts He has ever given us, how does it make sense to celebrate a day praising Him by destroying his Earth? Or letting people he created be treated that badly? How is that good stewardship?

It would be comforting to feel like this is out of our control, but honestly, most of us are responsible.

Every time I buy something made in Elsewhere, I send the company the message I don't mind, so they will keep doing it. Everytime I buy some cheap piece of junk because it is on sale, I send the market the message that I care more about a good deal than quality or ethics. We are part of the problem, but that means we can be part of the solution too.

We as the body of Christ need to take steps to solve the problem. Now, this is all super depressing, which is the opposite of what you want to feel this time of year, but I think it has potential to be really great.

My suggestion? We start at Christmas. We start cutting down the gifts we buy. We look into more eco-friendly options for the gifts we do buy. This isn't about refusing gifts from others or judging how they live their lives, it's about self-assessing and finding a balance that feels right for each of us individually.

I have 3 new goals this Christmas to keep my giving in line with my faith and my charge to be a steward.

First, is to only buy things that I don't think are doing harm or dishonoring God. I will buy used to keep things out of landfills and to save money. When I have to get a gift new, I will buy things that are environmentally-responsible and made as locally as I can find.

Second, to cut down the number of gifts significantly. No gift mountain here.

Third, to introduce more traditions about giving outside of our household instead of within it. To make donating and giving a regular part of our holiday routine.

So how do We Change our Traditions? 

It's easy enough to say "We will buy less this year," but then the pile looks too small. Or the gifts don't seem quite even. Or it is just so fun to watch a toddler open a gift. I know for myself, it is so so easy to get carried away.

So the real answer is that a Christian Christmas tree can look any number of ways and that "too much" is so different for each person. It's subjective, and I honest to goodness am not out to judge people. Just to figure it out myself.

I have heard the "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read" idea, and it is a good idea for limiting gifting, but it doesn't have much to do with Christmas. I would make it the birthday rhyme, but we have already decided on one gift and one experience/surprise as our family's birthday formula (awesome and it works).

I read this suggestion on my minimalism and motherhood post, and I want to share it with you, because maybe a variation would be perfect for your family:

"About 8 years ago my sister and I started the tradition of giving our kids 3 gifts each. At my house Santa brings them, at my sister's Santa only fills their stockings and the gifts are from mom and dad.

The gifts each have a meaning correlating with the gifts that the wise men brought to Jesus.

The first gift is their GOLD gift. It is their biggest gift and may be expensive, but not necessarily. It can be the one thing they REALLY want or it can be chosen by the giver. It signifies how valuable they are to the family. It is wrapped in gold paper or has a gold bow on it.

The second gift is their FRANKINCENSE gift. Frankincense was sacred and burned exclusively in the temple. This gift should have something to do with how your child "meets" with God. We've given devotional books, worship CD's, even a pocket cross, or a book that teaches a moral lesson. Frankincense is a white substance, so this gift is wrapped in white paper.

The final gift is their MYRRH present. Myrrh is a resin that was used to scent oils and perfumes. It was also used in preparing bodies for burial, and has special symbolism since Jesus came to earth as a baby only to later die for our sins. It is dark earthy substance so it is wrapped in brown paper. This gift can be something they anoint their body with, like perfume or shower gel, or simply a gift for their body. In the past my kids have received clothing or something to help them keep their body in shape (like skates or anything that helps them be active).

My children LOVE this tradition. I hope it makes someone's Christmas more meaningful."

If you want to read her inspiration, check out this blog. A commenter said that they do a similar thing, gold is something they want, frankincense is something they need, and Myrrh is an experience.

I love this idea, and I especially love the symbolism of the three kings creating a more direct and thoughtful connection to the nativity story. It keeps the number really low, which is important to us (if you buy 3 gifts instead of 30, you can put more thought and money into each one) but it also makes the link between what we do and why we do it spiritual instead of cultural. It more clearly connects what we see at church with what we do at home.

I want to add one other thing to this. These kings came to give gifts to strangers from a foreign land with faith they were worthy of that love. I want to be much more generous about giving out this year, not just within our family but to people who really need it. I saw a tradition of a reverse Advent calendar, where everyday in Advent we add to a basket of items to be donated elsewhere. I think my goal is to spend more time on helping others than shopping.

How do you incorporate giving to others in your family?

How do you manage Christmas gifts at your house? How many presents is too many? Do you think about how the gifts were made or who made them? Has anyone been successful at instituting a smaller, more stewardship-oriented Christmas at their house?

Most importantly, what does being a Christian steward mean to you and how do you live that out at Christmas time?

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Green Christmas 2015: The Mission-Driven Girl's Wishlist

Our next Christmas Shopping Wishlist is from my cousin Rochelle! Shell is the kind of person who is always trying to do better and make the world better for the people around her. She loves to tell a story, and she has a lot of compassion for others. Not surprisingly, when I asked her to write me a Christmas list, she went above and beyond what I asked! 

In Rochelle's own words:

"I chose to focus on social responsibility instead of eco-friendly companies because the social responsibility was more important to me and I found that in most cases a company that practices social responsibility was also environmentally responsible but the reverse was not always the case.  Specifically, I wanted to find companies or stores that have a mission-minded focus.  I want the purchases I make to really mean something.  Not everything on this list will be mission-focused, but I think you’ll find that a lot of them practice some kind of mission."

Shelly made a list of things she wanted for Christmas:

Pajamas 

Candles

Clothes

Long Sleeve Shirts

Make-Up

Wedges

Rochelle had really awesome ideas for where to get these things, so I am going to let her do most the talking and just add a few thoughts of my own onto the end of each item.

I love that she adjusted her list to address the issues that matter the most to her- you should do that too! Think about how your gifts can do more than just get someone another thing. I am in love with her list, so I hope you love it too! 

from Sudara

from Sudara

1. Punjammies – "Every year my mom gets each of us Christmas pajamas that we open on Christmas Eve.  Usually she picks out sets from Kohls or the Gap (I usually pick out my own because I’m weirdly picky about my pajamas).  This year as I started to dig into various companies and social responsibility I found these pajamas and I am in love with them! 

Punjammies are made by a company called Sudara (www.sudara.org) in India.  The women who work for this company are rescued from the sex trade in India and provided housing and education for both themselves and their children.  You can order these adorable clothes direct from their website and styles are available for women, men, and children.  Women’s pajama bottoms run about $45 and that cute India shirt is about $35.  That is only about $20 more than an equivalent sleep set from Gap."

My thoughts- Gah! These pajamas are definitely awesome, and price wise, they are about the same as anything I have found Made in America. Our family does Christmas Ever pajamas too, and I think you could cut down the price slightly by doing Punjammies pants and get a basic (but ethical!) shirt from American Apparel or another Made in America company. Bed Head makes their pajamas in the US as well.

from Kristin Schmucker Shop

2. Candles– "I have been following Kristin Schmucker Shop on Instagram for nearly 2 years and I love pretty much everything in it.  Last year they added these adorable candles to the shop and I remember her posting a picture of her kitchen completely covered in mason jar candles – she makes these all in her own home! The candles are hand-poured with 100% natural soy wax from soy grown in the Midwest.  How cool is that?! And, they’re only about $11 on sale right now!"

My thoughts- Candles are an awesome thing to change course on, and they certainly make great gifts. Smelly candles are often made with paraffin that comes from petroleum! Boo! Using more sustainable materials (like soy or bee's wax) is better for your household and for the world (funny how often those go hand in hand).

Shelly didn't even mention my favorite thing about these candles- they have really pretty calligraphy on them (that seems to be Kristin's primary business) with bible verses. So awesome. If you are looking for other candle options, we are trying Eco Candle and Our Own Candle Company candles. I like the Tiger Mountain Farms beeswax candles and Silver Dollar Candle Co, but my absolute favorites are from Etta Arlene.

from Altar'd State

3. All the clothes from Altar’d State – "I love this store.  Like, I really, really love this store.  I started shopping here about 4 years ago.  My mom bought me my first two items right after I found out I was pregnant with my son and was tired of how bloated I looked (I show about 0.045 seconds after a positive pregnancy test – don’t tell me that I can wear my normal clothes well into the second trimester).  The long cardigan she bought me that day I still have and it is just now started to have a well-worn look.  Plus, it has adorable buttons on the cuffs.  Since then I’ve only bought a couple of items because, to be honest, the clothes are a little pricier than I usually buy.  All of that is seriously changing because  I’m no longer a “fast fashion” consumer and because I realized at the end of the summer that when I wanted to look super cute or put together I absolutely always reached for the two shirts I bought at Altar’d State at the beginning of the summer.

I can’t tell you that absolutely every item made in their store is socially responsible, but they do have certain stamps they put on some items that say “gives back” when the item is a part of their philanthropy program or the vendor is a partner in philanthropy.  This store donates 1% of all sales to local and international charities and they fund employee volunteer hours each month.  And their clothes are freaking cute.  Like, I seriously do want almost all of it.  These 3 tops were each about $40-$60 and the jeans are about $70, so like I said, it’s pricey.  But they last forever so they are great options for anchor pieces in your wardrobe.  The store also has great sales – I got 2 tops at the beginning of the summer for a grand total of $50 and I’m super sad that I can’t figure out how to make them work for winter."

My Thoughts- Altar'd States are all over the Southeastern region, but still remain pretty regional (you can shop from them online). But Shelly's love for them has inspired another Christmas season resolution: we should all take a second to explore a local shop. You know that one store that you walk by but haven't ever gone in? Time to check it out. There are small businesses all over the place that employ our neighbors and often have more priorities than "make more money, get bigger." But you don't know if you don't look, so let's all make a resolution to explore somewhere small before heading somewhere big.

from Krochet Kids

4. The Marni Long Sleeve Shirt from KrochetKids – "Okay, this company is pretty incredible (and they are a vendor partner with Altar’d State!).  This company was started by three guys who were best friends in high school and all learned to crochet.  They started making beanies to sell to locals in their mountain community in Spokane, WA.  Some friends and family eventually encouraged them to teach people in developing countries to crochet as a means of escaping poverty.  They now have over 150 people in Uganda and Peru  who are working, receiving education, and being mentored toward a sustainable future.

What’s even cooler is that each item is signed by the person who made it and you can go to their website and write them a thank you note!"

My Thoughts- Super cool! I love their hashtag #knowwhomadeit.  We bought the bub a hat from them, and it is well-made enough to stand up through way more toddlers. 

from Sephora

5. Colorscience Makeup – "So I heard about this brand thanks to an impulse decision to follow Kaley Cuoco on Instagram.  Evidently this is the make up they use on the set of The Big Bang Theory (sorry, Barbara, I still love it).  This makeup is different for a number of reasons and costs about the same as any department store makeup.  I can’t tell you better than they can, so here is a quote from their website: “Made from 100% healthy, high-integrity minerals, pigments and nourishing ingredients, including antioxidants, peptides, breathable zinc and titanium dioxide. You might have heard or read that we’re doctor approved. This is completely true. We are, in fact, doctor-recommended all over the country.”  It’s makeup that’s actually good for you!

They also have a give back program called “Sunstoppable” with which they teach healthy sun habits.  They also partner with the Women’s Dermatologic Society and the Skin Cancer Foundation to raise awareness about the need for kids’ sun protection during recess and outside playtime.

Their “Everything Matte” set helps give you a shine-free complexion and the whole set will run you $162.40.  I spent about $200 on a similar beauty routine from Clinique last year."

My Thoughts- Awesome! I am currently on a mission to use up my giant archive of make-up, but I did write about green and ethical make up this year. Luckily, some more knowledgable bloggers have already thought about this! Buzzfeed has a very helpful article on sustainable products. Beautylish pointed to ones that don't test on animals!

from Toms.com

6. Tom’s Wedge Booties – We pretty much all know the Toms story by now, but these booties were so cute I had to add them (especially since it’s a company that practices one-for-one).  Again, pricey (since you’re basically buying 2), but they’ll last you ages.

My Thoughts- Shoes are tough to come by made ethically (and this is the most common complaint about Toms), but it's better to invest in something like this than just spending your money on something with less mission. If you want to do a one to one gift, you could also get someone a bear from Bears for Humanity, which sells super cute teddy bears (mostly made in the US), and for every one you buy, one is given to a child in need. 

A Few Bonus Ideas

If you want to give someone a gift that is really helping others, you have tons of great options! TONS. So don't buy from Susan G Komen- it's not a charity, it's basically just a brand. 

from Ornaments for Charity

1. Ornaments for Charity- A family in Nebraska makes Lego Christmas ornaments which they sell for a different charity every year. This year, they are giving 100% of the proceeds to the  Stephen Center and Space Haven. If that doesn't make you feel good about the universe, than what will? This is happening in our house this year, for sure. 

from Sela Designs

2. Sela Jewelry- Sela Designs, out of Wisconsin, sells their fair trade jewelry to give all proceeds to a charity. They also choose different projects- right now, they are working with a Children's Hospital in Ethiopia. I mean, come on. AND the jewelry looks gorgeous. This yellow necklace is currently my favorite. A little more expensive, but the splurge seems worth it! ho wouldn't love to receive a gift like this? 

3. Soaps- You can find tons of fair trade and local soaps, the most ubiquitous in Seattle probably being Alaffia, but you can probably fine something that supports a region that matters to you. I used to think that Bath and Bodyworks was the ultimate "I don't really know you" gift, but I think you could actually use more thoughtful soap gifts to keep loved ones clean and support things that matter to them. 

Does anyone have any other suggestions? How do you combine doing good for other people with giving gifts?

If you are loving this wishlist and want WAY more Christmas inspiration, check out my MegaList, which includes all of the shopping lists from this blog! So much to look at! 

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Tips for Keeping a Family or Couple's Yearbook

One of my favorite parts of our anniversary is pulling out our photo books from previous years and reflecting on the year we have just had. I think we will always look at the one I made for our wedding on our wedding anniversary, but that whole week (our wedding anniversary is the 25th and our anniversary is the 29th), we pull out old books to reflect. A few weeks later, our new book will come in that orange shutterfly box  (I know other people use Blurb, but my Shutterfly loyalty currently runs pretty deep).

I started making us year books as an anniversary gift way back around year 4 of our relationship (I don't count it as a gift anymore, because it is as much for me as for the Boy). For me, these books are a huge part of maintaining our own little family culture and preserving our history in a way we can manage, much easier to navigate than the THOUSANDS of pictures I take every year.

 As I look at them lined up like that, it seems narcissistic, and honestly, maybe it is, but I think it will continue to transform as our immediate family grows, and I am glad the early years of our relationship are captured for us to remember. The books serve as a good reminder that the years or days don't always have to be the most exciting or eventful to be important to you. It just goes back to treating your life and your relationship like they are meaningful, and that attitude encourages more meaningful events. It's true!

I know people have the intention to do this kind of thing, but sometimes it can be hard to keep up with. After seven years of doing it, I have a few tips that may help:

-Take pictures! Not just with your phone! Though the convenience of camera phones certainly appeals, the problem is you end up with relatively low quality images that don't print that well. They drive me crazy when I have to use them for family calendars, because no matter how great they are, they have to be teeny tiny.

You don't have to have a massive camera, just keep a point and shoot with you when you go out and (maybe more important) out and available when you are home! It can be hard to make it part of your routine, but the more everyone gets on board with it, the more you will be glad you did.

-Steal other people's pictures of the memories you share with them- I have mostly stopped posting our personal pictures on facebook, but I still try to post our times with family in case family members want that picture as well. Stealing others pictures can give you a more full picture of holidays (and if you are like me, might be the only chance to prove you were actually there!) Repeat after me; Right click- Save Picture As- Put a Date as the title- Save.

- Organize your photographs (by Date and Subject) as you upload them- I don't have a good reputation for being organized (and rightly so) but I keep my photo archive meticulous. When I upload my pictures, I label them like this: "7-4-2014 Fourth of July" or "4-25-2014 Boring Week with Hats." Go through them right away and throw away anything that is blurry/ not great.

- Pick a start date that is meaningful to you. January is actually a tough place to start because you have just established a bunch of new goals plus not much is going on. December is an even more difficult time to finish, because life is crazy around the holidays (not to mention, if you are like me, you have a bunch of other photo gifts to make that time of year).

 I love using our anniversary as a start and end date. I love it even more as our family starts to expand, because I don't want to forget that our relationship was the start and should remain one of the centers of our family. If you have kids, you could also do it around the school year. Or start it at the beginning of every summer? Don't feel tied to the calendar year.

-Pick your photos at least once a month- I make a new folder "Year # Book", and I put my favorite pictures from each event, the ones I would want in our book, into that folder. Even if I don't make the actual pages until weeks or months after the event, it is so much simpler than trying to make those choices and upload at the same time.

-And while you are at it, just make the book as you go- I love Shutterfly because you can save your projects on their website and just keep coming back to it. This can be a big project, but I think it is better to think of it as a long commitment. You put a little bit of time in a couple of times over 12 months rather than trying to organize your whole life once a year. Plus, if you do it as you go, you don't have trouble remembering why you took that picture.

I usually dig in to making pages after big events. I usually do the majority of the fall before Thanksgiving, because I know I will have a lot more pictures to go through after the holidays, and I tackle all of that later in January when things calm down. Doing it all at once would be a daunting task, but if you start putting things together as you go, it becomes a half hour- hour commitment every so often instead. 

-Pick a style that feels good at the time- The choices you make, no matter what they are, will be fine as long as you are telling your story. As you go, you will come up with strategies you like, and your style will change a lot (for us, the pages are more complex, and the book is both bigger and longer than when we started)! The first book is from 2009, and the second is 2013, so you can see how much I have changed. I think my books are getting better, but not really that much better, just different. I can't imagine how many styles we will go though by 20 years or 50!

-If you love the picture, make it big! Even if you don't have tons of pictures, you can still fill up a book with a few key pictures. Christmas can be a 2 page spread, or it can take up 10 pages. It doesn't even have to be chronological! No one makes the rules but you. Shutterfly standard books are 20 pages long, but you can add up to 90 pages. I usually use almost all of them, but you should pace it however makes sense for you.

-Remember to capture everyday life too- I saw this great idea on someone else's blog. Crown one day a "regular day" and capture it from start to finish, so you can give a more clear picture of what life looked like when it wasn't a holiday or special event. It can be easy to forget that low key times matter too, but sometimes the best moments happen when life is a little more laid back!

-Write some text to explain what is going on, what was said, what the joke is- I see lots of these books on pinterest that look really design-y and cool, but I just think that you may be forfeiting more than you realize. You don't think you will forget now, but you will. Write the stories. I use three fonts- a 30-60 size fonts for headings, a 20-30 size font for sub-headings, and usually something around 12 for captions (because I figure our eyes will get worse). Shutterfly and other stores have pre-set styles if you want to just pick one and keep it simple. But trust me, you want text.

-Pick your favorite moments- One of my favorite pages is the very last one I make, where the Boy and I talk about our favorite moments from the year. We just started doing this since we got married. We list 10-12 times that were especially meaningful or fun, and I think it will bring a lot of joy in the future to go just through those pages.

- Enjoy it- This is a task that should be fun, so don't agonize over it. After all, I think it is so fun and exciting to reflect. It's a great exercise in gratitude!

- Wait for sales! If you are going to use Shutterfly, know that they put everything on sale OFTEN, so you don't have to order it the second you finish it. Keep an eye out for a good sale on photobooks AND extra pages (if you are like me and end up using a ton), and order it once you find a price you like.

I hope this helps you feel like this is a totally achievable goal! If you have any advice or questions for me, feel free to ask!

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An Earth-Friendly, Made In America Baby Registry- Part 2- Dressing, Diapering, and Bathing your Baby

picture taken by Jenny Bickel Photography

You are having a baby or celebrating someone who is! That's awesome! When you are looking down the barrel at so much cuteness. Serious cuteness. Teeny Tiny cuteness. It can be easy to only focus on the cuteness.

I get that, but there might be something more important to worry about.

So much of the baby goods we register for is having a profoundly negative effect on our world. It creates (literal) tons of waste, garbage that will add toxicity to the land and water. This may seem like no big deal at first, but if you love that tiny bub enough to be excited for their cuteness, are you really ok with their food being poisoned? Me either. And this is just the beginning.

The VAST majority of the clothes made for tiny people are made in China (I am looking at you, Carter's and Gerber), so they are wasting massive amounts of fossil fuels with shipping AND other human beings are working in deplorable conditions so you can buy that super cute onesie for a dollar less.

I could keep going, but let's get to the good news. So many companies are recognizing these problems, so better options exist for almost every item on your registry list. Even better news? If all new parents switched even a quarter of their registry items over (and cut the plastic- trust me, you will want to when you realize how bad plastics are for your kid), they can make the world a considerably greater place for their little ones!

We aren't powerless, and this is the perfect opportunity to make a difference. I know I wish I had done more, and you can learn from my mistakes. This is the second part of the Made in America and Eco-Friendly Baby Registry, filled with information on how to avoid what we did wrong. If you want to look at the list of just links, check here.

There are three key steps to transforming your approach to your registry:

1. Get Less- Oh, the things people will tell you that you need. It can be tempting to take all advice, because first time parenthood is means you have no idea what the hell you are doing. Trust me from the other side, you need less than you think. Take advice with a grain of salt and talk to some parents who are still new to the game. Also, reuse what you already have! Do you need washclothes if you already have soft ones?

2. Get Things Used- There are tools that will be absolutely essential in your life for about a month (like a swing) and then you will never need them again. All those Fisher Price Rock n Plays or Swings have such a short life with each baby, so they are still in great condition. Join a Buy Nothing Group and get in touch with the other moms (you can also hand your stuff off when you are done with it to keep your house from cluttering up). Check out kids consignment stores. If you aren't buying the majority of your kids' clothes in consignment, you are wasting your money and sending that much more to the landfills. Save money, save the Earth, get your baby stuff used (you can even state this preference on your baby shower invite).

3. Get it Made in the USA- Most mainstream stores (think Babies R Us) won't make this information readily available, because it will show their shortcomings and lack of ethics. But I have done all the research for you. Check out these companies while you do your research, and switch these items over to something that uses less fossil fuels, takes care of the economy your child will inherit from you, and is made with higher labor and environmental standards.

You can do this! Let's get started on Part 2.

what to dress your baby in

When all is said and done, you need 3 or 4 newborn sleepers in season appropriate fabrics and a bunch of onesies. After that, each size depends a lot on the frequency you do laundry and the season/ climate you are in. This link gives you a quiz that can give you an itemized list of what clothes you need based on when your baby is coming. We will split it up another way:

Key Pieces (2-3 for every size)

Basics (sleepers, onesies, pants, and socks)

Shoes

2-3 Pieces per Size you LOVE- My basic estimate is that about 80-90% of a baby's wardrobe in any size should be used. They go through it fast, so hand me downs and consignment finds are going to save the environment and your wallet. That being said, there is always something you have in mind you can't find in stores. One of my friends even requested people buy consignment on her shower invitation, which is pretty genius.

For those last few things, you can buy (or register for) American-made baby clothes to guarantee your child is wearing something ethically-made that isn't traveling crazy distances. You can find simple basics from companies like American Apparel or special pieces for holidays or to treasure forever on Etsy. Yes, people will mostly buy you other things, but you can at least try to direct them to things you will actually love (see: animal onesie that says "I love mommy" I know thats what you want).

There are a few American companies- American Apparel and City Threads (on Amazon too)- that sell baby basics that are adorable and no more expensive than Carter's or other mainstream baby companies that make their clothes far away with unethical labor. I just bought City Threads t shirts for the Bub and they look so good, and he has been wearing American Apparel onesies and hoodies for most of his life. Both are awesome and hold up well to baby use.

Bamboosa also sells some very simple pieces, so their prices are still (relatively) low. And they are going to feel amazing because of what they're made of. There are also some options on Amazon, like these Fluffy co. onesies or these ones from Catfish Designs- they might make a cool gift!

You can find 100% made in America baby clothes on Etsy, which would make for a great gift or splurge. I love so much on this site, so you should really browse on your own, but here are my favorites we have bought for our kids. Is it as cheap as buying Carter's? No, not always, but they make great gifts and paired with a consignment wardrobe, you will still come out on top.

My favorites, which are in that sweet spot between special and usable, are the organic cotton baby leggings from Lola and Stella. I also love the onesies and rompers from Jolie and June. I am looking at coming home outfits a lot lately, and I love these get ups from Little Beans Baby Shop. I also have found this is a great opportunity to support makers in the US who are actively trying to do the right thing by our kids and the environment- my favorites are Honest Elements and Urban Earth Co. I have bought clothing from both stores and found them to be especially wonderful.

Preemies often get left out of these things, but Preemie-yums sells clothes specifically for the under 6 pound set.

from Jenny GG- all clothes in this picture are used

Most Everything Else (used) Soon after having the baby, I realized it is a fools game to ever buy a onesie for more than 5 dollars at a consignment shop. Baby clothes are tough, because no one wants to spend 50 dollars on something that will be worn a few times, but we also don't want someone else's child to be making our child's clothes, right? It's a tricky line to tread.

When the bub was 8 months old, I would guess about 50-60% of his wardrobe has been gifts (maybe 2 things we specifically asked for?), 35% we have bought secondhand or received through Buy Nothing, and that last 5- 10% have been things we specifically needed and couldn't find used (or we just loved). Now at 20 months, I would guess the ratio is about 85% used clothes, 10% made in America, and one gift pair of shoes and shorts from my mom which are neither. And not to toot our own horn, but our kid always looks cute. We have learned a lot, and we love saving money by switching up this strategy.

We bought Christmas pajamas used, swim clothes used, and tons of pajamas and onesies used. People are gifted these things and use them a hand full of times. You can do this too!

From the Wee Little Piggies

Baby Shoes (wait) - This pains me to say, because I love them, but most of the baby shoes I have bought weren't used enough to justify the purchase. My best advice is to only buy things with velcro closures. We only used them in cool weather, so if it is hot, I recommend no shoes, as much as it hurts my heart. If you want a couple of pairs, I suggest looking in consignment stores (so many cute ones, and before they walk you don't have to worry about use at all).

 If you want something really special, Etsy has you covered- Clam Feet, Stitches and Soles, Cady and Jax, Charlee Oh Creations (from Alaska), Little KMD, Wild Explorers, Wren's Nest Baby Shoes and Bitsy Blossom (has toddler stuff too), Simply Danika, The Wee Little Piggies, Woolby, Lil Sweetie Pies, Winter Peach, Ogres by Jam, Marley Ocean, Mis Mar Design, Raspberriez, All Things for Baby, BB Love Booties, and Pitter Patter Baby Shoes,

diapering

The big question in diapering is whether you are using disposable or reusable cloth diapers. Before having the baby, I couldn't imagine doing cloth diapers, because that is literally too much shit to deal with. Now, we are working on switching over for when we are home, because you make a whole lot of waste in a baby's diapered-time with disposable diapers. Plus, and I don't want to scare you, but the poop is unavoidable, no matter how you package it.

That being said, no judgement. This isn't about us all moving to the woods barefoot and eating roots, it's about making a once radical lifestyle part of our everyday lives. The idea here isn't that you get everything perfectly right.

 I am not particularly granola myself, and I am not sure I even have great information for you on cloth diapers yet, because I am still collecting the info myself. So I will write a separate blog on that once I know better, and just direct you to the best of what I know so far. Even if we don't get it perfect, just trying to do better might make the world a little cleaner for these babies we love. No one is going to have a perfectly green registry, but if we all make some switches, the impact will add up.

Diaper Caddy

Bumper Care

Changing Mats and Covers

Diapers

Changing Pad Liners

Diaper Pail

Travel Changing Mat

Wet Bags

Wipes

Wipe Warmer

from Pom Pom Fringe

A Basket or Caddy to hold this stuff in (you may have it/ new)- it needs a place, or it will take over. That being said, lots of things will be hanging off types of deals, and I don't often see those still in use after long. Equally crazypants are caddies made specifically to hold diapers- what are you going to do with that when it is done? That being said, if you have something like that in mind, let me suggest Yoon 1206 Greene.

So what would I recommend? A Basket. Just normal baskets in any place you keep diapers. We have mostly cleaned out catch all storage baskets already in our house and used them for diapers. And when diapers are over, they will find another life as something else. Skip the cutesy nonsense and just get something that already makes sense in your house (and maybe already exists there).

Need a basket? I love these woven baskets from Colonial Mills, but they are definitely expensive enough that you want to pick one in colors that you can use forever. You can also find lots of simple fabric baskets on Etsy that would do the job perfectly. I think my favorite are these colored baskets- nothing too fancy, but hand woven in the States and you can get whatever colors make sense for you.  Jennifer Helene Home has a simple set that could cover any room in the house where you might need diapers. If you want something more sophisticated (see: expensive) try Sampson and James or (more reasonable) Pom Pom Fringe. Cost effective and multi-use, little square fabric baskets from the Basket Garden might make the most sense for keeping them clean and using them long term.

Bumper Care (new)- You can get through with minor incidents, but there will still be incidents. Bourdeaux's Butt Paste- I guess if you could get this used, maybe that is fine? But this version is organic and does the trick in a day or two.One of those things parents will bring up at parties and everyone agrees it is awesome (weirdly, this has happened). Also smells pretty good, which is a feat in itself. For more basic everyday use, try Burt's Baby Bee All Purpose Ointment.

from Woolf with Me

Changing Mats and Covers (used)- I have never not seen these at our consignment store and they can be tough to find made in the USA- Oeuf has the only one I have seen, and it does look awesome (environmentally friendly and Made in the US both), but expensive for something designed to hold explosive poop. In the last year, LA Baby have started making changing pads in the US as well for much more competitive prices, but their materials aren't nearly as eco-friendly, and some of them are imported. Colgate makes theirs stateside too now. I love seeing areas that are getting more US-made products!

 If you want everything looking good (which I get, I am like that too), you can still get the mat used and use the money you save to get a cool cover on Etsy. Just think, these mats are in use for a relatively short time, and they almost always have a cover on them, so much like a pillow or mattress, what they look like inside doesn't matter much. Buy a ten dollar used pad and then a really nice couple of covers (you only need 2) on Etsy and you will be set.

My favorite changing mat covers are from Carousel Designs. They are made in America, and in the last year they have moved onto Amazon (though I still suggest you check their website, this sure is nice for the registry. Luxe Basics and New Arrivals sell options on Amazon as well. And then there is Etsy, which has way more options than I can cover here, so search what you are looking for and turn that United States filter on. If you do want to browse, here are my favorites: Lou Lou Made, Love Lila Ann, Woolf with Me, Noni and V, Madly Wish, Three Wishes Bedding Co, Finley Baby, Fern Leslie Baby, Mod Fox, Karolina Designs, and Caden Lane Baby Bedding.

Changing Pad Liners (new)- Ok, this may sound like overkill, but we just bought  four of these liners and switched them out every time there was a blow out. It kept laundry moving and we are using the same (ONE, we only bought one) changing pad cover stain-free. These Healthy Baby Ideas ones would also make a perfectly fine travel pad if you didn't want so many things.

from Polish Prince Diapers

Diapers (new if disposable, new/used mix if reusable)- Again, how you approach this depends entirely on what route you want to take.

If you are using disposable, my advice is to sign up for Amazon Mom (it's a dumb name- my husband is on it for us) and order diapers only a step ahead, because they do grow faster than you expect. Have a couple brands in Newborn and see what fits your baby and you, then have one box a size ahead in case they grow overnight.

Diaper brands are trying to be more recyclable/ biodegradable, but honestly they aren't there yet. That's why the reusable route is the only real green option for diapers. I recommend trying Seventh Generation, Earth's Best, and The Honest Company.

If you are going reusable, you have a couple options, but I suggest starting used. All of them are for sale at our consignment store and many of them have come up on Buy Nothing. Moral of the story- keep an eye out! Even if you are in a less eco-friendly culture, you might be surprised. Get on those mommy forums and ask around.

If you want reusable light, I recommend G Diapers which are less bulky under clothes and can use either disposable or reusable inserts. It's a larger investment upfront, but you will save so much money in the end.

For truly reusable, you have so many totally amazing, American-made options. They are expensive at first, but most fit from 8 to 35 lbs, so basically for two years. Think of all the boxes of diapers you won't be buying. Also, if the price is slowing you down, look into finding them used. You can find tons online and at kids' consignment stores. On Amazon, you can get Smart Bottoms (these look great, but pricey- so maybe a gift?) Jack and Jill diapers (with super sustainable bamboo and charcoal), Tiny Tush, Best Bottom, and Angelic Ware diapers. That being said, Etsy is the home of cloth diaperers everywhere, so you can find nearly infinite options there. Here is a tiny bite of your choices- LL Precious Creations, Melissa Makes, Polish Prince Diapers, Counting the Blessings, Elly Diapers (she has swim diapers too), EG Cloth, Little Boppers, Cat and Wolf Designs, Ba Ba Bottoms, Owl Be Green, and Greatest Joy Designs.  I am also really curious about Didy's, which seems like almost a start up to me, so if you get any of her stuff, please tell me about it!

Inserts come in as many varieties, so be sure to size your insert appropriately. You can look at the ones from Sprout and Best Bottoms (these have glowing reviews). Creekside Kids sells liners too, and they come with an almost excessive amount of Etsy love. Other options- Jane's Needfuls, Shop Imperfectionista, and Vinyl Madness Mama.

As a side note, I also found this diaper washing contraption that is at least partially made in the US and might be a big help. I honestly have no idea.

A Diaper Pail- Ok, I am kidding myself here, because unless you get the Ubbi steel diaper pail, these things start to stink. No great solution here, but if you have a good idea- please share!

Travel Changing Mats (used)- We bought ours at a consignment store, which is perfect for a piece of cloth spefcifically for getting poop on. Seriously, even if you wouldn't regularly buy things used, a poop pad is not a bad place to start, because this is not a cute object. If you can't find a travel diaper mat in stores, you can find plenty on Etsy- Precious Little Tot, Black Arrow Studio, yoon 1 greene,  izy and doly, Life Made Chic, Simple Grace Design, Daffodils n Dinosaurs, and Kthy's Kreations (these ones look spot on and extremely functional to me. If I needed one, this is what I would pick). and Whimsy for Wee.

Planet Wise from Amazon

Wet Bag (new)- Plastic diaper disposal bags only add insult to injury (not to mention they are a waste of money). Either find bags that biodegrade or use reusable/ washable wet bags. Whether you are doing reusable diapers or not, a wet bag, like this one from Petunia, can be a great investment (way better than wasting lots of ziploc bags), Planet Wise wet bags get a lot of praise for really working and keeping the mess off everything else in your diaper bag dry. You could also buy/register for a wet bag from Snuggy Baby, Whimsy for Wee, Rykie B's, Mod Mom ME, and Julian's Boutique.

from Creekside Kid

Wipes (new)- you again are most green using something you can throw in the wash, The only 100% biodegradable are Jackson Reece's, which are made in the UK (they also come in a lot of packaging). You can find about a million options for wipes (120 search pages) on Etsy, and they can last you so much longer than the one time use disposable ones. Creekside Kid comes out the big winner- they have over a thousand 5 star reviews and are very affordable, so I would start here. You can also try Lover of Life Designs (also almost a thousand positive reviews), Green Little Nest (even more beloved! Isn't it encouraging so many people are using reusable cloths for various purposes already?), Playtime and Parties, and Curly Monkey. Two reusable options on Amazon (in case the Etsy thing is harder to connect to your registry) are Oso Cozy and Baby Kicks.

Aleva Naturals are made of Bamboo and biodegrade in 21 days (but they are made in China)- we are going to try these, and I will let you know what I think.

That being said, there are more "organic" options- Seventh Generation's wipes claim to be green because you need fewer to do the job (you can also still buy them in bulk). Babyganics are also made in the USA out of mostly plant-based fibers. Waterwipes claims to be almost all water, but that is nonsense- what is the actual wipe made of? Kirkland wipes are made from 100% renewable materials. Burt's Bees are also made in the USA.

A Wipe Warmer (just wait)-People swore by their wipe warmer, but ours mostly just sat there (and slightly melted the furniture). It may be something to try if late night diapering isn't going well, but I would wait until there are complaints before you address them. They also aren't made in America at all, so if you want one, think about keeping an eye out for something used in consignment or Buy Nothing.

bathing, health, and skin care

Bath time is such a sweet time in our house, as long as you don't mind getting wet. Those tiny babies need a lot of extras to take care of their skin and health, so be sure to check consignment stores first. Anything you can get on this list used (and get clean), just get it used!

Baby Detergent

Baby Shampoos

Bath Toys

Bath Tub

Cradle Cap Brush

First Aid/Grooming Kit

Gripe Water

Nail Clippers

Snot Sucker

Thermometer

Toothbrush

Towels

Washcloth

Baby Detergent (new or handmade)- In the course of our toddler's life, I discovered The Simply Co Laundry detergent. It comes in a reusable glass container (so waste free), has three ingredients, and it works so well. Way better than I expected. Plus, with our super messy toddler, one jar has lasted us well over 4 months. Making your own detergent is probably the most eco and wallet friendly, but this comes in second for me.

We got 2 bottles of Seventh Generation detergent to get us started, in case we were dealing with allergies.

Also, your laundry is about to really keep you busy, and there are a lot of loads in your future. I recommend buying some dryer wool balls instead of using the wasteful one time use dryer sheets. My mother-in-law bought these for me as a birthday gift, and they get the job done again and again.

Baby Shampoo and Wash (new)- Our Pick- Noodle and Boo shampoo and head to toe wash. Smells great, works well, made in the US. Also, one bottle lasts a very long time when you wash tiny heads.

We received a big bottle of Johnson and Johnson's head to toe wash that lasted us at least 9 months (they say the origin is the USA on Amazon, but the bottles come from a mix of places. We also have used the Aveeno head to toe shampoo, which smelled really good and was listed as being made in Canada. One of the best options I have seen is Mommy's Bliss which is made in the USA, all organic, and packaged in a recycled bottle (huzzah!). That is what we will get when our gifts run out.

But there are myriad options here-  Earth Mama is an organic mix made out of Oregon, California Baby has natural ingredients and thoughtful packaging, Gaia organics is in calming lavender (it really helps some babies sleep) and helps with dry scalp,

Almost all of these companies also sell some form of baby lotion, which a lot people use. It gave our baby a rash, so we stopped, but if you want a little to start, I recommend poking around these companies. Noodle and Boo has a wide variety of baby care lotions and such, and they are both eco-friendly (recyclable packaging) and pretty socially responsible (no animal testing).

Green Toys from Amazon

Bath tools and toys (used)- Cups and strainers can help for getting them wet early on, and those might be available used, then you can definitely find bath toys used. We got a set of foam letter on Buy Nothing, and that is most of what he plays with. We do have one toy we love for play and (more practically) getting The Bub's hair wet- Green Toy's tug boat, made of all recycled plastics too! They sell all kinds of boats perfect for the bath, and we also let him play with their pots and pans in the tub, because he really likes pouring.

Want a rubber ducky? Celebriducks makes theirs in the US. If you want a teether that can have a second life as a bath toy, Wowie Stars might do the trick. Begin Again uses eco-friendly materials, but they are made in China, so it depends what your priorities are. My new favorite are these washcloth sea toys from Cozy Chipmunk- cute, useful, and easy to clean! That's a winner.

Bathtub (used)- Bathtubs are another thing that if you work ahead, you can find at consignment stores or on Buy Nothing. The Fisher Price ones are all made in China, but you can find one in stores if you keep an eye out. We loved ours because we could use it from infancy all the way into toddlerhood. That being said, before a year, I just brought him in the shower with me, so I am not sure how long they actually last. I think a sink works for a good chunk of time, but a bathtub might actually save you water (we have also taken our water out and use it to water plants, no joke).  Also, does anyone know of one made of recycled plastic? It seems like that should exist!

If you can't find a used one, there are some good new options. The Primo Eurobath is amazing, and we received it as a gift, but I only recommend it if you have a lot of space for storage, because it is quite large.

Cradle Cap Brush (just wait)- You won't know if you need this until that cap is out and showing its colors. If you do decide you need one, this one is made in the USA.

A First Aid/ Grooming Kit (new)- We really like ours from The First Years. Made in the US.

Gripe Water (just wait) can be a godsend, but it may not be needed. We used Wellements, which is made in the USA and is organic (I just wish they used less packaging).

 Nail Clippers (new or used)- I still find clipping nails slightly horrifying, but these clippers help my meaty fingers with the itty bitty baby nails.The fear of clipping just becomes less than the fear of their wolverine claws. These "No-Mes" clipper look even better, and you don't have the tiny nails popping around. If you could find those tiny clippers used, I say go for it.

Snot Sucker (new)- Nosefreida- You hear what it is, and you just think gross, but those baby noses don't clear themselves out.

A Thermometer (new)- Exgen is Made in the USA. You definitely need one that you can use on a forehead, because the other alternative is way worse.

Baby Banana from Amazon

Toothbrush (new)- By a year, our son loved to brush his teeth (all 7 of them) while we did, and it is good to establish it as a habit early on. I highly recommend these silicon banana toothbrushes; they are made in the US and are perfectly shaped for little mouths and little hands.

from Curly Monkey

Towels (new)- When they are really teeny, you want to have a soft towel to put their delicate skin in. At some point along the way (2 or 3 months?), you use a regular towel in a jam, and you realize that is fine too. Our pick (we got one of these this time)- Curly Monkey sells a simple (but good-sized) hooded towel with pretty trim. Simple and clean with just a little bit of fun, made in America, and eco-friendly materials.

The other big winner? Bamboosa simple hooded towel. Nothing too fussy, but really sweet, made in America, and they use bamboo! Our towel is almost 3 ft by 3 ft, and I recommend a bigger size like this to grow into. I generally advise against sets, but I do love this simple, pretty set from Cherub's Blanket. Sophia and Sam Organic also sells a simple and beautiful hooded towel, made in California.

Do you want one of the cutesy hooded towels with animals on them? Me too! I love the cutesiness. The ones you see at Target or on Amazon are all made in China- no good, but there are some exceptionally adorable options on Etsy. We bought a monster towel from Yikes Twins, and it is so cute (but maybe a little big to start with?). The cutest animals I have seen are from Wee Chateau- a perfect and excessively adorable option for a baby shower gift!

from Busy Bonnie Bee

 Washclothes (just wait)- These are always listed on registries. But they are washclothes. If you already have some you like, that is probably fine. You could get a washcloth puppet like these from Busy Bonnie Bee, and at least they fill two purposes. If you do want to get some, there are some great bamboo and organic options that were also made nearby-  Bamboosa baby  has some soft, bamboo-made, from the USA options. Cherub's Blanket has 100% cotton washclothes. Curly Monkey sells a pretty simple set, and Marley's Monsters has a bamboo option. You could also try Remiusables, Created for Babies, Georgia Threads, Lulu Woobies, or Color me Reckless.

There we go! Clothes, diapers, and everything you need for the bath. Just by switching out some of your registry, taking a different approach that can save waste, save you money, and actually be healthier for your little one. By switching out your registry that way, you can start making a positive impact on your baby's life before you even meet them!

Check out  Part One for all your pregnancy and delivery needs, or look at the whole Made in America Baby Registry to find lots of links, ideas, and eco-friendly goodies for every baby shower gift you could ever think of. Want to do some other environmentally-responsible shopping? Woot! Check out our Giant List of Shopping Lists for ideas you will love. 

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