Ten Ideas for Raising a Minimalist Kid

I want my children to have less than I did.

I know this sounds crazy. Who says that? The American Dream includes the idea that we all give our children more than we had. If we are good parents, we dream for abundance for our children. That if we are doing things right, our children have more than we had.

What happens if we want our children to have less?

At the very least, I want my children to have less stuff.

I don't think I have fewer dreams for my children than any other generation of parents did, and I do want them to have more in some ways- more adventures, more stability, more sushi than I did, but I think in the long run, we will do our children a tremendous service if they have less possessions, less spacious living, less baggage.

Before you get offended on my lovely parents' behalf (I am grateful for my upbringing and my husband's), hear me out. We are offered so many conveniences and gadgets to help manage our life, but those conveniences come at a deep cost that our children and grandchildren will have to pay.

-Too much costs our kids their healthy food and water. The (then still relatively new) disposable diapers our parents used for us 20 or 30 years ago still have 400 years on this planet, in the landfills and soil our children will eat from and the water they will drink. These options are way more prominent now- those HORRIBLE snack pouches can't be recycled, so you have saved 3 minutes now, but that pouch will outlive your grandkids. Not actually that great a deal.

- Too much costs our kids the environment. The plastic toys we played with will also outlive our children, and how many do you really remember? Why not only get used or recycled plastic toys for our kids?

- Too much costs our kids their future jobs. Because the market creates a demand for LOTS of toys (more toys is better than better toys), parents are looking for toys that are cheap. To make cheap toys, mainstream companies like Fisher Price and Melissa and Doug make all their toys in China. Those cheap toys mean someone is treated badly, fossil fuels are completely wasted in shipping, and more American jobs that can't compete with the prices fold. So fewer American jobs.

-Too much costs our kids their own happiness. Overconsumption when they are kids set them up for unhealthy habits through adulthood. If something breaks, replace it instead of fix it. More will make you happier (it's proven it never does). We all have to ask when these piles of stuff stop helping us and instead weigh us down.

- Too much costs our kids their time with us. It's well-documented that new American parents are pretty miserable. Some of these problems- like a cultural lack of a support system- can't be solved this way, but other's can. On average, our generation of parents lives in 1000 square foot larger homes than our parents did. What are we doing with all that space? And think of how much time all that extra space (and stuff that fills it) takes- we have to clean all of that! And if you have a toddler, you know life is like 80% cleaning. If we live in smaller spaces, our houses may not scream abundance and variety, but we win a lot of time back to just spend with our kids.

This dream of bigger and better keeps us working that much harder to just survive, when just surviving can be hard as it is. I see these beautiful pictures of children's spaces that look modern and pristine, not overun with toys, books, and clothes. I don't think my house will ever be that minimalist, and I am certainly still new at this. But the idea of effectively giving my children less has been on my mind a lot (especially as I fight the instinct to buy leading up to the birth of my second), so I thought I would share the ideas I have had.

1. Say Goodbye to Cable

Enough opinions are floating around about screen time (it rots your kids' brain vs. screenphobia is just the latest stand against Stay at Home Moms), but my beef isn't with a screen. Pick the amount of screen time that works for your family, Netflix it up, but stay away from media with ads. When you have cable, or you are watching any programming directed at children, you need to weed out these overstimulating and overpromising snippets.

Ads are designed to send a constant message- you aren't enough, you don't have enough, and that you won't be happy until you have this thing.

This is a pretty dangerous game of desire for anyone, much less kids. And before you roll your eyes and think your child is above it, just remember that these people really, really know what they are doing. They get degrees in how to send that message. They do research on how to do it most effectively. They get paid millions of dollars to do it. This is a serious business, and they are good at it. But, there is no law saying your kid needs to watch things that tell them what they want. You get to choose what normal is, and do your kids a favor by keeping cable out of your home.

2. Just Stay Away from the Toy Section

In the same way, kids can't want every toy on the shelf if they don't know what is on the shelf. Stay out of the toy sections of most stores, and they won't know every little thing that is out there. Will this save you from the occasional tantrum in the grocery store? Nope. Does it mean your child will never want toys they see at friends' houses? Nope. Is this guaranteed to save you from Elsa or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Nope. But it does make wanting stuff less a part of their regular life.

When we are at Goodwill, I will let my son pick out one thing to take home. Anywhere else, he can look, even touch, but nothing is coming home with us. The less time we spend in Target's toy aisles, the less I have to have this fight.

3. Slow Your Roll Out

My sister in law taught me this, and it is genius. When her son would get a giant pile of loot from a birthday or Christmas, she just packed a bunch back up and gave them out when he seemed bored with the last thing. After Christmas, let 2 or 3 gifts stay out, and everything else goes into storage. As the previous gifts wear out (over weeks and months), another new object can come out.

We love that feeling of abundance, that fantasy of the super full Christmas tree, but gifting that way isn't very practical and the kids can't appreciate it anyway.

Kids can only process so much at a time, so those big gift mountains seem cool, but lots of toys get lost in the shuffle. Most children do get sick of things. Instead of constantly needing new toys, you just use what they were already gifted and Christmas last much longer! Our son is too little to know the difference, and we can make one holiday last for months.

from Mum in the Madhouse

4. Make Giving a Family Tradition and Habit

At Christmastime, many families have an advent calendar with treats inside. What if this year, each member of your family gave one thing away every day in Advent. You could do it for Lent too! To teach your kids about taking better care of the Earth, you have to illustrate the act of giving. Let them pick toys to gift.every day during the holiday season, then go together as a family to give it away. Have your spring cleaning tradition include a big family day where you drop things off and donate things to charities. Let them participate with you on Buy Nothing once a month. Pick what works for you, but pick something and include your little ones.

 I whole-heartedly believe that we have to model the behavior we want to see from our children, so if you want them to be generous (and non-materialistic), then you have to make giving a regular part of life. It well help your house stay cleaner, help them assess what they really care about, and in the end could be such a fun tradition!

5. Clean Out the Toys and Clothes Every 3-6 Months and Give a Third Away

 Even two years in, I can see how quickly the toy collection flies off the rails.You receive gifts from grandparents or hand me downs from friends, and the pile gets bigger. Man, they can take over everything! The key is not only to buy less, but to clean out more, so get in there and send things off that never clicked with your kid.

Right now, The Bub is too little to really understand what is going on when I do this, but he is always present, and someday he will just think it is normal. It's not about throwing things away, it's about sharing with other people who might enjoy it more. I have gotten some of his favorite toys at Goodwill or on Buy Nothing, so I think it is my responsibility to keep putting back into these resources as well.

6. Don't Buy More Storage, Cut Out Stuff

It can be so tempting when the toys are taking over to think of more storage solutions. I get that, and I am not saying we don't have a plastic tub of toys in the basement, but before you get another toy box, book shelf, or hot wheels shelf, why not just give things away? To have a house that makes sense, you need places for everything to go. If you no longer have enough destinations for toys, maybe there are too many toys. If you have so much storage that your kid can't see all of their toys in a day, you probably have more than they need.

passed to us by a neighbor, passed on to a third child in the neighborhood

7. Swap, Borrow, and Get it Used

The difference between a minimalist lifestyle and a house full of toys is seeing possessions as temporary. Join a library and you always have a resource for new books (and a place to connect with other moms and kids). Join your local freecycle or Buy Nothing groups, you can pass kids stuff around. Just ask friends if they want to do book or toy swaps to switch things up in your house.

 I feel like as kids, we treated our toys and collections like they were essential parts of our identities, and it made it hard to let them go even as adults. But your kid can still love Frozen without having every Elsa and Anna item in the world (is that even possible? God bless Disney and their marketing genius). Only a few things can be precious, everything else should be moved around before it sticks to a spot on the shelf.

Every parent of a toddler is constantly encouraging them to share (it's tough!), but this is a way to push that a step further, treating sharing as a part of life.

8. Have Confidence They Have Enough

This is easy to say but so hard to feel. Parents right now are under constant pressure about how they manage their kids, their time, their money, everything. We can look around and see someone else who is doing a better job in various ways. We feel self-concious because that Stay at Home mom gives them so much time (and loves to talk about it). We feel frustrated because we can't give our kids everything they want. We try to compensate by giving little gifts because we can see how happy it makes our kids, even for a second.

We have to have confidence we are giving our kids what they need. Parenting is so tough, because success can me so hard to define or measure- how do you ever know if you are doing alright? Sometimes shopping is as much about ourselves as our kids, because we can at least feel certain we are providing. A bigger house or well-dressed kid makes us feel like we are filling their needs well, not just enough.

But you are doing more than enough just by caring. There isn't a void that you need to fill. It's a cliche, but your kid really does just want to be with you. Go to a playground instead of a store, and you will give them something worth remembering. Get clothes and toys used and save your money. Your kid doesn't know the difference, and you just have to keep building yourself up that you are  doing great at this job just by caring and getting in there. I don't know how to build this confidence more other than reminding ourselves, but it's a constant battle we need to fight. Buying mostly doesn't make us do a better job, but getting in there does.

9. Use What You Have

We all know kids love cardboard boxes, but it is amazing how far you can make one cardboard box go for play time. Blanket forts make amazing memories too, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.

At my job, people donate all sorts of objects that could be "art supplies" for a shopping space and classes for kids. This includes baby food jars, toilet paper rolls, flooring samples, jewelry boxes, gift wrap, broken crayons- all kinds of stuff we tend to see as junk and throw away. But you reframe that for a kid (turn the jewelry box into a robot, use the toliet paper rolls to make fireworks, make a "home" for a stuffed animal), and you can provide hours of entertainment, conversation, learning, and creativity. This isn't conjecture, it is my job and I see it all the time. Junk, when mixed with creative framing, is always an opportunity. Need a rattle? Clean and fill an old bottle with beans.

 That kind of creative play isn't always easy to come up with, so thank goodness we live in the time of pinterest. You can find so many ideas on there.

10. Slow it Down and Just Be Together

I know I am so guilty of this one. As an introvert parent of an extreme extrovert, I often feel desperate for a minute to just catch my breath (or check my email), and some days I know I don't enjoy the time with my kid as much as I should. I feel sometimes like toys are partially just tools to give parents a minute.

Whenever an older generation parent tells me "Oh it goes so fast," I try hard not to roll my eyes. Really? Because this sleep deprivation is making everything move in slow motion.

But there is a lot of wisdom in the suggestion to let things go and slow down to our kids' speed. It doesn't mean we don't get those minutes or that we don't deserve a break while working and parenting, but when you are going to be there, really be there.

 The Bub and I have literally spent hours (this week) playing with a baseball hat and a pair of kitchen tongs. Even with older kids, you don't need many objects to have a perfectly great time. Go for a walk. Go to a playground. Just listen to them. Children are just tiny human beings, and they just want heard like everyone else. A game of tag (or robot tag) can be more fun than any toy, so the more you can focus when the quality time comes, the fewer things you need.



So there you have it, buy less and give more. Change the goals and you may just raise kids who aren't as caught up in this consumerist minefield we are all trying to navigate right now. We both know it creates a lot more work, a tremendous number of problems, and very little of the happiness or solutions that we are constantly promised. We can protect our children's futures from waste and from that constant want by shifting our attitudes now. Let's give ourselves a freaking break and give our kids less.

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Green Christmas: 10 Awesome Gifts that Don't Take Up Any Room Under the Tree

Oh who doesn't love the look of a Christmas tree just bursting with gifts underneath? It feels good to see that symbol of abundance and that physical manifestation of love on Christmas morning. I know I really love a good Gift Mountain. I do. Not facetious at all, it makes me so happy to give gifts.

That being said, how many of the gifts you received last year can you name? And how many gifts get returned or never quite find use in the course of the year? Probably at least a few! We give so many gifts this time of year, but if you are looking to get the most for the biggest deal, you are doing harm. Americans have so much stuff, and we are creating tons of waste. 85 million tons of textile waste. Plastic that is overrunning the ocean. Encouraging inequality and the mistreatment of other. If Jesus came to save the world, why are we celebrating him by destroying it?

I would never knock gift-giving as a practice, but I do think there are lots of gifts we could be giving that don't take up more room in our homes and under our tree. Giving gifts that don't take up space can sometimes be the best ones, and they can help us take care of what we already have rather than adding to piles that can become hard to manage. These gifts might not fill up the tree space as much, but I think they are gifts that your loved ones will be so much more likely to remember.

What non-material gifts are you giving this year? I am excited to be buying our niece piano lessons with a few books. All of our siblings are getting experiences instead of stuff. It's a trend I am excited about, even if we don't have the big gift-opening moment on Christmas morning. That's two minutes. I want to get gift that make memories that will last.


So here are my best ideas- what are you getting this year that you don't have to wrap

1. Netflix Subscriptions- Rather than buying someone a stack of movies this Christmas, what about getting them the fancy dvd level membership to Netflix? Even pay for their streaming for them! It is a little steep, maybe their whole gift for the year, but it creates a lot less waste to borrow than to own!

2. Quality Time- Rather than getting a family or couple more stuff, look up an event calendar for their town and think about if you could get them tickets to a cool activity they would enjoy. For example (and sorry, Shell, I didn't go for it and I should have), I saw tickets for sale to go see/ ride on Thomas the Tank Engine that would have been so fun for my sweet cousin's toddlers and their whole family. If you can fund a new experience or a family memory, that can make a great gift!

For the Bub's birthday, we bought him one gift. One. Instead, we took him to see Daniel Tiger Live as a family, and he was so into it! My goal is to manage birthdays this way forever- one gift, one experience, and one party. I love the memory of going there with him, and it won't add to the collection of toys we seem to always be fighting back.

If you don't have kids to shop for, this still works. Try concert tickets or season tickets to something. Give a gift card for a trip you know they are saving for.

3. Handy Help- Taking a page from Luke on Gilmore Girls, you could give "coupons" for help getting something checked off a loved one's to do list. Not handy yourself? You could try buying your loved one a few hours of handyman or cleaning person time. I have given this gift, and not to toot my own horn (toot toot), but I think it is basically the best gift ever. Let's face it, adulthood is the worst, and it gets so old to have a neverending to do list for your home. Blech.

You can get a loved one a little help fixing that vent or ceiling, or hanging that molding, or building that closet organization, or whatever other nonsense just never quite gets done because it sounds horrible and people are super busy. One of the greenest things we can do is take care of what we have so we don't need to buy a new one, so this might be the ticket for someone you care about.

4. Food- Take someone a lasagna or pot pie or something they can stick in their freezer, not under the tree. Much like house repairs, cooking can be a real pain in the bumper this time of year. It can really help someone out. If you aren't sure what to make, but you want to give more practical gifts, you could also stock a pantry or buy them all (recycled) paper goods (I love this idea- a year's worth of paper towels sounds so lame, but it is kind of awesome actually).

5. Date Night- A gift card for a night out is not exactly new territory, but it's a classic for a reason. People love to eat out, and this gives them a good reason to go do it!

6. A Museum Membership- If your giftee lives near a museum (or zoo? or theater? science center?), a membership could be a great gift! It basically gives them a constant reason to go visit, and members at many museums have access to activities and events they may not otherwise. Perfect for an art lover, animal lover, or just someone who loves to learn. Also great for stay at home parents, as most of these places have weekday activities that cater to small children and their adults.

7. Donating to a Charity in their Honor- For that person who really does have everything, and they really don't want any more stuff. You can find charities that give ornaments or calendars in return for a donation if you want to give them a little token, but I think this would be so cool. If we all put 100 dollars of our Christmas shopping money directly into charities, we could make a huge difference in the world!

This one feels even more relevant than it did a year ago. We need to support organizations fighting for our environment and for human rights. You could also support efforts to help in Syria or even "adopt" a refugee family in their honor. So many options here, so think about what matters most to them.

8. A Visit from a Cleaning Service- Do you know someone with small children? Stop! Do not buy them another baby thing,

Get them a few visits from a cleaning service. You will be their favorite person forever.

This could probably work for all sorts of people, but parents of babies will love you the most, and that's the point of Christmas, right?

Check with them first; no reason to offend anyone. If you don't have much money, but you have some serious cleaning skills, this is a gift that could cost you 0 dollars.

9. Lessons- The Boy and I talk about getting cooking and dancing lessons all the time, but we have never gone for it. If you know someone has debated it, this might be the perfect way to help the person you love finally take the leap. Swimming lessons might be cool for kids too. The community college near us has a super interesting catalog of night classes, so be sure to check out what is near you too!

10. Massages- I think massages are a little awkward, but not everyone is as wimpy as me. A massage might really make their day. We did this for my brother and sister in law last year as a kind of date? Wow, that sounds awkward to me, but you go ahead and go for it, because we aren't all pasty blogging dorks.

What non-material gifts have you bought for someone?

Some of these are a little steep- I am a big supporter of going in with others to buy gifts! If we all focus on quality and not quantity, I think we can shift our paradigm on Christmas and consumption, focusing more on what really matters and less on stuff! Who can't get behind that?

If you are looking for more shopping inspiration, check out my Giant List of Shopping Lists!

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10 Moments You Have Living Far Away from Home Longterm

1. The first 24 hours of a visit, where everyone has forgotten how annoying you are and seem genuinely happy to see you- When we get back, our niece and nephew are so excited, because they know we will play with them. They forget all the times we have to leave or we just want to sit and talk to their grandma. A lot of our personality sins (lateness, crazy schedules, know-it-alls, eventually getting tired at Simon Says) are temporarily forgotten in the warm light of memory. This visit has the potential to be the best yet (vacations work the same way- the first 24 hours are almost always the best), and this is one of the nicest parts of living far away. 

2.The last 24 hours of a visit, where everyone is sick of your bullshit and wants to get back to their normal life-We leave our shit everywhere, we are always on the run (though in our defense, if you want our undivided attention, you know where to find us the other 47 weeks of the year), and we are never around when we are supposed to be.  We are a weird kind of visitor, because we used to be familiar, but we are still visitors, disrupting the usual routine. By the end of trips, we can usually tell people just want their cars/ space/ time back. For the last 3 Christmases, we have said we shouldn't stay so long on the day we leave, because everyone is so solidly sick of us by then. It's a tough balance to find, and when I figure it out, I will let you know.

3. That moment where you call the place you live currently home, but you know it isn't home home- If you can go to the grocery store without anyone asking about a family member or seeing someone you really don't want to see, you aren't home (on the other hand, you could buy any weird thing you want, and your grandma won't find out about it later in the week). 

4. That moment where you meet someone from the same region and are filled with radiant joy- Everytime I see Steelers clothing, I get excited, and who cares about sports. I got even more excited last week to see a Pirates poster in a neighbor's window, because you really have to be from the area to like the Pirates. They don't attract many fair weather fans. In my graduate program, one of my colleagues was from Altoona, and we spent hours waxing poetic and Sheetz hot dogs and Smiley cookies. I am psyched when someone can tell I am from Western PA because of my diction. What you realize when you live away from home is that you still belong to that place, so you connect with people who have similar experiences. I notice this with my Sicilian Father-in-law as well, who has deep and important connections with people who also immigrated from Italy.

This joy is like tenfold when people come to visit. It is the awesomest.Your visits are basically my favorite thing in the world.

5. That moment where you are shocked that some people don't think Red Lobster is the height of fanciness- And on the flipside, when you are telling a family member about that cool restaurant you just went to, and you can see in their eyes they think you are a doushe. And you know they are a little bit right, because you probably would be happier to go back to Red Lobster. Mmm cheddar biscuits.

6. That moment when you realize that you are missing the hard work of being present, and that the person you are looking at has no idea how hard being absent is- I still know that being there all the time has its own work, even if it seems like I have forgotten. It forces you to be consistent, to show up for ALL of the moments that aren't that fun, and to be expected to make food on holidays (eeek). You also can have opinions on the total lack of jobs there, but you don't have to feel personally responsible for growing the city's opportunities (though I wonder how much millenial guilt there is about leaving hometowns). You feel selfish, because we grew up in a space where you take care of the people and places that took care of you, and you aren't participating in that anymore. You want that sometimes boring work, because it makes everything else mean something and what makes communities great, but the entries to this get slimmer as the time grows longer. It is hard to not eventually grow sad and bitter about these things (at least for me, who reads it all as these series of rejections, even if the root of the problem is my own doing), but I am trying to be intentional about that, because I don't want to live with that bitterness forever.

Coming back to your small town feels a little like coming back from the dead every couple of months. This is the sad realization that you weren't really missed.  People have moved on without you. Time has marched on without you. People still miss you, but its like one tiny puzzle piece of their life is gone, and they can mostly live without it. You, on the other hand, spend most of your days feeling like a lone puzzle piece wrongly shuffled into another box.

7. That moment where you realize you may be selfish, but at least you have the courage to make a fool out of yourself basically daily- You find yourself standing at an art opening where a few people are naked but fisherman's hats. Or you spend a Saturday afternoon watching laser light shows set to Motown music in a planetarium. Or you meet someone for Thai food for lunch. Or for the millionth time, you introduce yourself to someone completely new and try to strike up a conversation. When your comfort zone is so far away that all bets are off, and that makes living far away kind of fun and cool.

8. That moment where you can no longer think of a major airport you haven't slept on the floor of- Why have I gotten to Pennsylvania by way of Atlanta? Or Boston? Eventually, you have even seen all the scenic routes, and you have very specific opinions on your favorite airports, primarily based on whether they have a really efficient Jamba Juice, a cool light show, or a Pizza Hut/ Hagen Daaz combo. You also have ones you hate, based on their benches, their weird pretzel smells, or their total lack of moving walkways (I am looking at you Phoenix, what the hell). You know you have lived away from home too long if you know exactly which airports I am referring to.

9. That moment when you walk back into your own space and can really appreciate that you are making a teeny tiny home for yourself- Even if you live many zipcodes away, the home you make feels way better than all that empty spaces in between this transience and home's permanence (sorry Nebraska). Everyone is there, if just in pictures and spirit, and that can be great too. It can be encouraging and exciting to feel like we have our own little thing going on. Plus, this is also the moment you get off the supershuttle, so life is really good.

10.  That moment when you realize, in horror, that unless you do something, your kids may not know their cousins well, they may not ever get to spend Christmas in their own beds, and they may not understand how great it is to grow up in a small town- I grapple with these questions, of what we may be robbing our kids of, all the time. I don't know the answer, except that I am learning day by day that the fact that our family looks different than the ones we grew up in isn't necessarily a bad thing. Growing up in a small town builds a love for tradition, a deep commitment to family and friends, and establishing a strong sense of who you are, but if you have to leave, it can make you feel all the more vulnerable out in the world. It's a tricky question for sure, and if you know the answer, let us know.

I know this comes off as negative, but it really is just being honest about a state of living I know a lot of people have been stuck in. I am really grateful to have these adventures, but I also miss home so much. Looking forward to being back in PA tomorrow night!

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Throwback Thursday- Green Christmas: A Giving and Outdoorsy Christmas List

This is the newest in a long series of blogs where I implore you through long lists of cute stuff to buy less/better stuff! This Christmas, we will spend a lot of money on gifts. A lot. If we put all that money toward companies that respect their laborers and protect the environment, we can change the world. Every dollar we spend is a vote for the world we want to live in, so every time we buy Made in China junk at a big chain store, we say fast and easy is more important than good. That our selfish wants are more important than other's needs. I don't think that's what anyone really thinks, especially at Christmas, but I think it can feel like we don't have any choice. We do! So here is another shopping list to show that no matter what a person cares about, you can find them awesome, eco-friendly and socially-responsible gifts. We can do it!

Melissa and I have been friends since the 8th grade, when she was the only one who showed up to help me paint my bedroom. This friendship was solidified forever when we chased a cute red head boy around on a Spanish Cruise (in Pittsburgh). I just think she is a kind and wonderful person, and her new church and home in Colorado suits her perfectly. We care about a lot of the same things, and we love talking about issues, but there is one area where we clearly differ- outdoorsiness. Melissa and her hubby Alan go hiking, they do adventurey sports, and they wake up at dawn to see beautiful sunrises on their trips (we, on the other hand, sleep in, eat a lot, and hopefully look at old stuff). Because of this, she has all sorts of wisdom to share about what to buy the hiker you love, but even better, she has some great insight about what really matters this season:

"When B first tasked me with me creating a Christmas Wish list, I didn’t know what to list. A and I had already talked that we didn’t really want much for Christmas, and we’d simply save our money for retirement and emergency savings. (Remember, it’s never too early to save for retirement, but that’s not the subject of this post.)

That being said, when I began to think about a possible list, I quickly came up with lots of new things that I simply had to have. But the reality is, most of us have everything (and more) than what we need.
With that in mind, I first want to encourage you to look outside of yourself and see how you can give to those that need it the most. "

One of my absolute favorite things about doing these wishlists this year is that almost everyone who has written to me has their own things that matter more to them than the gifts. We all have things we "need," but we also all have things we care about deeply. I feel like this is really important, and one of the best parts about it is that to effectively donate in someone's honor, you need to know what they care about. You have to get to know them that much better, which is just another way I am positive that shifting our paradigm has a super positive ripple effect. Take it away, Melissa:

"Here are two organizations that my partner and I support and love:

1: Project Education South Sudan. This organization started because of an amazing woman in my church in Denver, Colorado. She and her husband were mentors to the “Lost Boys of Sudan”. That commitment birthed PESS. Now celebrating 10 years, PESS has helped thousands by partnering with South Sudanese communities in building schools and supporting young women. Daniel Majok Gai, one of the “Lost Boys”, is now the Executive Director of PESS. He is an incredible, inspiring human being. Under his new leadership, PESS is continuing to start new initiatives like making feminine hygiene products for young women. This not only creates jobs and economic growth for communities, but also provides young welcome the chance to continue to go to school during menstruation. When we grow up in our context, it’s hard to imagine not going to school because of menstruation; but millions of young girls can’t go to school because they don’t have the resources. I have met Daniel and a number of members of their board- they are extraordinary, and so is this mission and work. Go to their website for more info: http://projecteducationsouthsudan.org/ .

2: Episcopal Relief and Development. When you support Episcopal Relief and Development, you help millions of people across the world by fighting poverty, eradicating hunger, and eliminating disease. Go to this link: http://www.episcopalrelief.org/what-you-can-do/gifts-for-life to purchase a “Gift for Life”. ERD also has a very high rating as a non-profit, 85% of the money collected goes to the product and services it says it delivers. Remember, check the charity’s rating before you donate, so that your money goes to services and not overhead and corporate."

Now, Melissa's Christmas Wish List:

1. A Microwave Safe Egg Bowl: "I’ve been cooking eggs in the microwave every morning for the past couple of months. It saves time, calories, and it’s still debatable whether non-stick pans can potentially release a dangerous gas that is both hazardous to humans and birds alike."

from amazon

My Ideas- Alright, this one is pretty simple. One good option- Nordicware sells a microwave breakfast pan. It's microwave-safe, made in America, and actually cheaper than some of the less ethical options. Simple, easy, done!

2. Hiking undergarments- "Because Christmas is the season you get socks and underwear; I am always on the lookout for ethically made socks, underwear, and sport bras."

from REI- Darn Tough Socks

My Ideas- Alright, I started at REI for this, because I figure that is where outdoorsy people shop (truly, I do not know much about that kind of stuff). Also, they are closing for Black Friday! How cool is that! Lucky for me, there are lots of stores that specialize just in these things! Darn Tough socks are super cute, made in the US, and come in a variety of designs and thicknesses. Smart Wool sells socks for cold sports (mostly skiing?) and they look pretty intense for those hikes up in the snow-covered Rockies (here's a hiking-specific pair). Brooks Essentials sells socks specifically designed to keep your feet dry. Hanz sells waterproof socks as well.

REI sells lots of Made in the US socks for camping, hiking, and biking (also, riding on planes and recovering from surgery). They even have their own co-op socks, which are made in the US and come in at a measly 10 dollars. These socks are hardcore, but most don't come cheap. Is it weird to buy someone a single pair of socks for Christmas? Maybe, but if the socks last longer than 4 pairs of junky ones, I think you might be on to something!

REI also sells a good collection of long underwear made in the States from Polarmax (these are even on sale). Ibex Energy Free Tights claim to keep you warm all day, but the name makes me wonder if they somehow Dementor suck the energy out of your legs.

3. Stretchy bracelets- "I love these! You can mix and match and stack as many as you’d like."  

from hecho a mano

My Ideas- Oh, you know Etsy has tons of these, so I only picked a couple I like, but if you want to go that route, check Etsy first (and order in the next week or two). Feel like it's too many options? Put in a city near you or the giftee in the location box on the left side towards the bottom, it should narrow it down, and you are supporting something local! In Melissa's case, you can find 1000 (I am not kidding) options if you put in "bracelet" and "Boulder, CO." Hecho a Mano make my favorite ones that I saw, super fun and bright.

from tuchela

Tuchela sells big stacks of them (for 7 dollars!) that come in all sorts of color combinations. I thought this set was pretty, but I think you could get these as awesome stocking stuffers. Moon Lab Jewelry sells multiple bracelets that i think look really subtle and sophisticated.

4. A Paracord Survival Bracelet- "This could very well go into number three, but its uses are more for outdoor survival than fashion. See various uses here: http://www.outdoorlife.com/blogs/survivalist/2013/04/paracord-bracelets-10-practical-uses-other-fashion"

from Amazon

Just to Add- Wow! First of all, I didn't know these existed. That girl is so much earthier than I am. But you can find lots of them! And a good number are made here in the States! Survival Straps come in lots of pretty and bright color combinations, as well as more practical earthy ones. Tactical Wilderness ones look great, and they have a compass in them! That's helpful if you get lost a lot (though, as someone else who is often lost, let me recommend not going on long confusing walks in the woods). Mountaineer sells a nice looking one in the color "Olive drab" Seriously, why would anyone buy clothing with drab in the title?!?

If you have lots of outdoorswo/men in your life, you can buy a large kit from Paracord Ninja and make them as gifts! How cool!

from Topo Designs

5. A ski back pack- "In the outdoor world, folks are always creating new product for niche uses. I have my day hiking pack, my back packing pack, my rock climbing pack, well you get the idea. Since I ski twice a week on average, tt’d be nice to have one specifically designed for skiing." 
Just to Add- Ok, I didn't find much US-made for ski backpack (I did find quite a few snowshoes though). I did find airbag ski bags, which I am not convinced are the same thing (I also found carriers for your skis and your boots made in America). Like I said, not super impressive, but maybe one of these would work for skiing?

I did find some just regular backpacks that might be great for someone you love. My pick for Melissa would be Topo designs, who are based out of Colorado, just like her! These backpacks have really cool but functional designs, and they partner with other great American brands.like Woolrich. This one is my favorite for her.

My other top pick would be from Green Guru Gear, which is made out of all sorts of recycled materials (part of their company mission is providing a recycling source for adventure sports). Their backpacks seem to primarily be made for biking, but I think they could be awesome for lots of purposes. Plus, they are made in the USA and all-recycled, so you know I love them. New favorite. If only I enjoyed adventure sports!

Tough Traveler makes a wide variety of durable backpacks that might be great for skiing! We bought a suitcase from them as a gift, and I can vouch for their greatness. Clinton at North Street Bags makes backpacks that look tough, but are in pretty colors! Equinox, who I also love, makes backpacks and backpack covers (in case she could repurpose another bag). Utility Canvas makes really simple backpacks as well.

As a side note, Melissa and Alan are also big photographers, and I found some very tough, but good-looking camera bags. If you have a landscape photographer/ adventurer in your life, I might stop first at Domke. These are serious bags, so this only works if the giftee REALLY takes their photography seriously.

6. This quote “Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink the wild air” printed on something- "As we know, and with the help of this blog, what we surround ourselves with, and what we use, matter. I love this quote and want to put it up on my desk to always encourage me to adventure into the unknown and experience God’s love for us in creation."
Just to Add- Gah, I love this one! As Melissa could tell you, I love buying she and Alan art, frames and decorations. Our style is so different- I am a colorful mismatched quilt that doesn't make much sense, she is a crisp but warm comforter in a single color with a clean repeating organic pattern embroidered on. I have a whole folder of things I see that are Melissa things, because it's fun to play in her aesthetic.

from words and page

Apparently, Melissa has tons of company admiring this Ralph Waldo Emerson quote. I found lots of pretty options! This one might be my absolute favorite, words and page does beautiful calligraphy (and it's on recycled paper). It's simple and clean, but it still reminds me of the outside. There are lots of pretty calligraphic options, which feel really special even if they are simple.

This ceramic sign is refreshingly simple in comparison to the content of the quote- maybe too much? I can't decide, but it does remind me of a book page. This embroidery hoop is clean and feminine, so it might look perfect in an office. If you want to get something like that as a gift but you don't have much money, you could also get a downloadable one like this one and print it out! The last option I really like on Etsy is this wall decal which I think looks really sophisticated and might be perfect in an office.

If you have someone in your life milling over this idea, I would recommend making them an art print with the quote, but use their own photograph! This would especially work for Mel and Alan, because they take spectacular landscape photographs together.

from Western Mountaineering

7. The Big Gift- "Growing up, Santa always brought one big gift whether it be a bike or a Barbie Dream House. My two big gift wishes would be a winter sleeping bag and a new digital piano. I know, opposite ends of the spectrum, but it is what it is. A and I went winter camping 10 years ago in college. I froze to death and still have never gotten over it. We stayed together, but my bitterness remains. For the piano, I started taking lessons with Miss Darlene in Longmont this August. While I have a keyboard, we have progressed quickly and I need the functions (like 88 keys and a pedal) faster than I expected."

Just to Add- First of all, I know the kind of sleeping bag she is talking about (because she told me, to be clear) and they are for really really cold nights (and not just cold like her bitterness, cold like I am not even going outside), and I am not sure what I found hits that level of winter-ness. My pick would be Western Mountaineering, which is only sold in stores, so you have to put your zipcode in and go. They have tons of choices, all organized by horrifying temperatures (I cannot empathize with the desire to sleep in -25 degree weather). They also don't have prices, which makes me feel like I can't afford them because I had to ask. Wiggy's also sells Made in America sleeping bags. Butler Bags makes an all-seasons bag which might not be hardcore enough for Melissa, but it might be perfect for who you are shopping for!

Second, Keyboards. These are tough! Yamaha does have six factories in the US, and from what I can tell, they are the only major brand that does (avoid Casio, boo Casio). Still, I can't seem to find any straightforward answers about which of the keyboards are made domestically and what are made internationally. If you can find that info, send it my way and i will update this!

A Few More Ideas

A Cozy Blanket- Faribault and Woolrich sell blankets that look tough enough for a camping trip and cozy enough for a living room. These aren't cheap either, but I feel like it's a special gift that will last a very long time, even if they have a tough ride out in the woods. Faribault also has a special place in my heart, because they are doing a buy one/ give one program this winter, so for every blanket or scarf you buy from them, they will donate a blanket to help Minnesota's homeless population. That's awesome, and it might be the perfect combination of Melissa's wishlists!

National Park's Monopoly- I love this board game so much for Melissa and Alan, because I feel like they explore national parks more than any other family I know, and like I have said before, travelers love dreaming of future travels. This might be a cool way to do it! Maybe they could play it while hosting?

from REI

Boots- I am not talking cutesy riding boots here, I am talking hiking boots. But they can still be cute! I especially like these ones from Keen, for those wintery hikes up in the mountains.

Camera Bags and Straps- As a side note, Melissa and Alan are also big photographers, and I found some very tough, but good-looking camera bags. If you have a landscape photographer/ adventurer in your life, I might stop first at Domke. These are serious bags, so this only works if the giftee REALLY takes their photography seriously.

You could also get your hardcore photographer one of these cool Luma Loop straps, which might be particularly helpful for someone who has to move around a lot to get their shot.

Water Bottles- You can read about my beloved reusable water bottles elsewhere, but Liberty Bottle now takes the cake. I love this so much, and I will probably buy it for Melissa. Spoiler Alert. Also reading Liberty Bottle's website, I am very encouraged by their priorities as a company, making more jobs and creating less waste.

But outdoorsy people need water bottles. Everyone needs a reusable water bottle- let 2016 be the year we stop using those horrible plastic one time use monsters.

Tents- If you have an aspiring outdoorperson on your list (or have been thinking about a tent yourself) you have good options! Beckel Canvas Tents look like the kind Ron Swanson would like (if he couldn't make his own lean to). Springbar also has lots of great options, so you can get out there and camp it up (maybe in the spring? Unless you have a winter sleeping bag and a will of steel).

Alright, I hope this list gave you inspiration for the outdoorsy person you love! Remember to look at the thrift and vintage stores nearby too, because you might find something on your list for a better price and a more eco-friendly option!

If you are still feeling shoppy, check out my big honking list of lists for more shopping ideas!

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Green Christmas: The Kitchen Gadget Wishlist

The Boy loves kitchen gadgets. More than once, we have been rushed out of Bed Bath and Beyond because he just can't stop looking at that big wall of kitchen stuff. I can't complain, because he does all the cooking in our house. So life is good, even if we do spend an inordinate amount of time inspecting spatulas.

We are pretty practical gifters- I think we both like the feeling of accomplishing something, so a fun kitchen gadget is like the best of both worlds! It check something off the "Still Need" list but can give him something new to experiment with.

The Boy's List:
Mandolin
Kitchen Island
Vegetable Peeler
Potato Ricer
Mortar and Pestle



Mandolin- "I've done enough slicing this year that I think a mandolin would be a real time save. Hopefully, that's true and it doesn't end up like the poor julienne peeler thing that is so lonely in the drawer." 

from npebaysale

I found this cool pre-used mandoline slicer on Etsy that came from an estate sale. The price is right and it looks pretty cool. Might be a winner.

from Lehman's

I did find this cool cabbage cutter at Lehman's, which may not work for every job, but seems like a fun toy to shred things with. And anything that makes lettuce more fun is probably a win.

Kitchen Island- "While I love our kitchen, the biggest downside is a lack of continuous counter space. The one long stretch has mostly been taken over by a dish drying rack, stand mixer, fruit bowl, and other miscellaneous stuff, leaving us with two smaller counters on either side of the stove for food prep, and they share the space with the knife block, paper towels, etc. Anyway, so while the kitchen feels large, it gets awfully cramped. A kitchen island can help us solve any counter space issues." 

I should have expected it, but I was honestly blown away by how many cool kitchen islands were on Etsy (and cheaper than a lot of what I have seen elsewhere). Seriously, if you are thinking about any gift this Christmas, check Etsy before you settle on your options, because they may have more than you expect! Also, you might find some inspiration and take on the task yourself!

from Herb's Furnishing

I think the winner might be one of these streamlined, simple, but gorgeous kitchen islands from Herb's Furnishings. Nothing fussy, but they make their furniture out of reclaimed wood, and we don't need a bunch of extra doodads.

We did get this last Christmas, and I absolutely love it. Herb's Furnishings helped us get exactly what we needed, and the island probably gets more compliments than anything else in our house. 

You love the idea but want a different design aesthetic? I got you. Here are some more- 3 Hands Furniture (gorgeous), Wooden Whale Workshop, 2nd century furniture, and Colorado Tables.

from Our Vintage Kitchen Co

I found a number of gorgeous kitchen islands that look like repurposed dressers, like these beauties from Our Vintage Kitchen Co. I think this particular one is a little feminine to give my husband for Christmas, but there are lots to choose from.

This one from CS Antiques rides that line between shabby chic dresser and clean, modern kitchen.  Maverick Industrial has a simple but masculine island to butch up a kitchen. This island from Ezekial and Stearns also feels a little rustic and masculine while staying light.

from amazon

We have eyed Catskill Craftsman kitchen islands for over a year now, but only the all wood islands are made in the United States. My favorite is the French Country Workcenter, which is very simple, but since we would move it back and forth, it is better to not have too much on it. They also have drop leaf ones, to make the worktop even larger. This would be my second choice, since it has that clean craftsman look that would match our kitchen (can you tell I've thought about these?).

John Boos and Co makes moveable islands and carts at Sur la Table. They are not cheap (WAY too expensive for Christmas gifts unless you are ridiculously swanky), but they do look beautiful.

Vegetable Peeler- "The vegetable peeler is probably the most straightforward ask- we used to have two, but the first was super dull and unhelpful, so we ditched it. Now, the other one is starting to get dull too. Can you sharpen them? I don't know. But we peel a lot of veggies (especially carrots for the Bub)."

from amazon

Rada Cutlery makes Made in America vegetable peelers which are under 10 dollars and would do the trick. Definitely would be a winner! They also have a deluxe version. Done deal. You can also find a ton of vintage options from Etsy (for 8 bucks- why did I buy so many new things all these years? Screw you, Bed, Bath, and Beyond).

Potato Ricer- "If we are going to perfect gnocchi, a potato ricer is key."

I had bad luck finding potato ricers that are made in America (a few on Amazon came up, but I couldn't verify that any were made Stateside). On the other hand, I found a number of awesome vintage options that are still ready to use!

from Taming Chaos

The majority of the vintage potato ricers look just like this one from Taming Chaos. They are steel and have a little bit of rust, but most are described as still ready for use . And they come in lots of bright, vivid colors.

Mortar and Pestle- "I want to do more of my own spice grinding. Right now, whenever I need to grind saffron or coriander seed, I end up either just trying to grind it with a spoon in a plastic bowl (saffron) or putting it between some paper towels and using a rolling pin (coriander). Neither method is very effective, nor do they look as magical as a mortar and pestle." 

A mortar and pestle can be a helpful tool that you can find in all sorts of pretty materials and makes. We already love Fletcher's Mill salt and pepper grinders, and they also make a mortar and pestle! We may do this, so we can continue to support a company we already love. Lehman's sells a marble mortar and pestle which looks simple, lovely, and cheap!

from Betelgeuse Pottery

Etsy has some great options as well- my favorites are probably ceramic mortar and pestles like these ones (with a notch, so smart) from Betelgeuse Pottery. It really just depends what kind you want. You can also find plenty of vintage options, like this wooden set from Thumb Buddy with Love or a marble set from the rhubarb studio.

from Jenn Erickson Art

I am also seriously considering one from Jenn Erickson Art in Boston, because she has a nice variety of ceramic mortar and pestles in lots of colors. They are just rustic enough to be a good gift for a guy, but they also seem a little dainty and pretty. I love ones from Seabloom by Rainy, because they can be used in your kitchen or for your altar grinds. Multi-tasking! Backyard Ceramic sells a floral morter and pestle.

A Few More Ideas for the Foodie You Love 

If you are The Boy, go away! Seriously!

from Urban Cheesecraft

DIY Cheesekit- I LOVE this idea from Urban Cheesecraft out of Portland, Oregon. You can make your own mozzarella! I feel like this is just the kind of project we would find fun, and it might just be a neat addition to his foodie arsenal.

Oyster Knife- This may not be as fun as a Nessie Ladle or garlic carriage, but this Dexter-Russell oyster knife  might encourage The Boy's new plan to make oysters at home, because they are so expensive when you eat out. I may buy this one.

Jacob Bromwell Funnels- Ok, I think maybe this 100+ year old company's products are the kind of thing you buy once you are a little more grown up, and you realize it's important to buy things that will last. We found one of their sifters at Goodwill, and jumped at that gem, and now I am considering buying him a frying pan or funnel that will be part of our kitchen for the rest of our lives.

Pizza Cutter- These pizza cutters by Epicurean are eco-friendly, made in the US, and just look cool. I like that the shape is flat, so you can fit it easily in a drawer. In our house, we eat pizza a lot, so this might make a good gift, or it might work in your house!

Graters- Microplane makes all sorts of graters, mostly in the US. I know we love ours. This is a medium ribbon one, in case you use a thicker cheese.

from amazon

Pans- USA Pans are made in Pittsburgh, and are basically the best pans made in the States. They manufacture for all the fancy kitchen stores, but you can also get their pans for perfectly reasonable/ comparable to lesser pan prices. If you are shopping for a cook, and something needs replaced, join me in supporting this awesome company.

Lastly, I will buy him this, because how can you not, really.

from Crafts Gone Awry

Hope this helped you get inspired to gift your favorite cook some used and Made in the US stuff! Don't settle!

If you want more shopping inspiration, check out all the shopping lists here.

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