How Do Christians Give Gifts at Christmas?

Today is Black Friday, and that supposedly means the beginning of the Christmas season. Really? A day of sales and crazy lines for printers and tv's is how we kick off our celebration of the birth of Jesus? If Jesus were alive today, do you think he would go to Walmart for that crazy deal? So why is this such a significant part of our Christmas?

Don't get me wrong. I love gift-giving. It is my love language, and honestly, I have bought and receivd some great gifts in my time. I take it seriously, because I really love to show people how much I care about them. I have family members who are ridiculously great gift givers.  But I can't figure out where the balance is between being a good Christian and really celebrating Christmas, and that seems like such a weird conflict to me. I would never ever suggest someone is a bad Christian because they buy a lot of gifts or because of where they buy them from, but I do think there are parts of these decisions that aren't often considered from a religious perspective, and maybe they could be.

Even though I write this blog, I find it easy to get caught up in the desire to buy great gifts, but the more I think about it, the more I question where the line is between gift-giving that brings people closer together and closer to God vs. gift-giving that really has lost the plot. This is a weirdly personal question, and I think the answer might be different for everyone, but I think it's a question worth asking.

This topic has been looming large in my mind the past few weeks- exactly how does our family celebrate Christmas in a way that is faith-based instead of revolving around commercialism? I mostly don't talk about my faith on this blog for a couple of reasons:

1. I make money off this blog (no, not a lot. So far, I have made a whopping 11 dollars) and I don't think Jesus or my relationship with him makes a good product or brand. I think there is a reason that Jesus got so angry when he saw people selling things in a temple. Christianity and commercialism don't mix that well in my opinion.

2. I don't think what I write about is exclusively useful to Christians. Or Liberals. Or environmentalists. The whole point here is that taking care of the Earth is everyone's task, and our over-consumption is everyone's problem. We may all come at it different ways or for different reasons, but changing our approach to material things is beneficial to anyone, no matter their walk of life or how seemingly small the step.

That being said, I do think first of my fellow Christians and my own lived faith this time of year.

And when did we start looking to businesses (whose primary goal by definition is to make money) to be arbiters of our faith? If this day is sacred to us, why would we want Starbucks to use it to sell more coffee? Why would we be so willing to see it sold out, but even worse, be offended when companies aren't using it to schlep cheap goods? Something is wrong here.

I will be honest with you. I am not throwing our Christmas tree away, and I will still be giving presents to loved ones in the next month. At the same time, I am ready to stop just talking the talk about what a shame it is that Christmas is so commercialized. It's time to make a change.

 I think it is time for some concrete goals. Read on if you are with me.

Why Do Christians Give Gifts?

Christmas gifts are important to Christians first because the three wisemen brought gifts for the baby Jesus when he was born. More symbolically still, the gifts refer to Jesus himself as a gift given to the world. In other words, our gifts are meant to mimic the amazing and miraculous gift-giving of God. Lucky for all of us, gifting is apparently His best love language.

The other symbols at Christmas spin off of these two themes. Santa Claus is a modern incarnation of Saint Nicholas, a 4th century Greek bishop who was known specifically for his generosity and giving. He gave to strangers, primarily, which resonates with the wisemen figures, who gifted to Jesus Christ, not to each other.

During the Middle Ages, the stocking tradition was tied to Saint Nicholas's name day, towards the beginning of December. He put gifts in their socks. During the reformation, Martin Luther tied this generosity to the gift of Christ, and Saint Nicholas moved his sock-filling a little later.

Gift giving has moved dates more than once too- because it was modeled after the wise men, some Christian traditions, especially Catholicism, gave gifts at or until Epiphany in Januray (ever wonder where the 12 days of Christmas comes from?).

The Christmas Tree is only about a thousand years old, but the fir tree was part of Pagan rituals before that. Now, it is said to symbolize everlasting life. Which is also a pretty massive present when you think about it.

So even Santa Claus, who often gets a bad rap as the stand in for all Christmas commercialism, ties right back to the gifts of the wisemen and the gifts of Jesus Christ. So this is a part of our tradition, but how does a few humble gifts in a sock turn into gift mountain?

So then, How much is too Much? 

Whatever I think is just enough, it should probably still be less than that. The story of St. Nicholas is about small gifts that make a big difference. The wisemen brought grand but also small gifts.

Right now, the average American parent spends 271 dollars a kid on Christmas gifts. We are in such a rush for our gift shopping that Black Friday is creeping into Thursday. When talking to kids about Christmas, the most commonly asked question is about what they want for themselves.

This obsession with buying gifts, so so many gifts, is costing us in so many ways.

Our generation works constantly to afford all the things we want, rather than spending time together.

Our committed searches for the best deals encourage companies to drop their standards around labor and materials. Jobs are outsourced to places where they can treat people badly. Tons of fossil fuels are  wasted needlessly so those slightly cheaper crayons can travel half way around the world.

I want to underline this again, other human beings also created by God and in His image are treated worse than we can imagine so we can get that cheap gift. In the past few years, it has come out that there are factories using child and slave labor. A factory making clothes for Walmart and other stores YOU shop from was in such poor conditions that a fire killed hundreds of people.

This is not a thing out there that some other mean person did. We helped in this, and we need to change it.

And it doesn't stop there. Those big piles of gifts cause other problems as well. Trees are being cut down at rapid rates when we need them most to keep our air clean and our temperatures down. Beaches are covered daily in garbage, like the plastic those cheap toys come wrapped in. Landfills are filling up and our children's water is being poisoned with plastic.

Now, if we see the planet as a beautiful gift from God, one of the best gifts He has ever given us, how does it make sense to celebrate a day praising Him by destroying his Earth? Or letting people he created be treated that badly? How is that good stewardship?

It would be comforting to feel like this is out of our control, but honestly, most of us are responsible.

Every time I buy something made in Elsewhere, I send the company the message I don't mind, so they will keep doing it. Everytime I buy some cheap piece of junk because it is on sale, I send the market the message that I care more about a good deal than quality or ethics. We are part of the problem, but that means we can be part of the solution too.

We as the body of Christ need to take steps to solve the problem. Now, this is all super depressing, which is the opposite of what you want to feel this time of year, but I think it has potential to be really great.

My suggestion? We start at Christmas. We start cutting down the gifts we buy. We look into more eco-friendly options for the gifts we do buy. This isn't about refusing gifts from others or judging how they live their lives, it's about self-assessing and finding a balance that feels right for each of us individually.

I have 3 new goals this Christmas to keep my giving in line with my faith and my charge to be a steward.

First, is to only buy things that I don't think are doing harm or dishonoring God. I will buy used to keep things out of landfills and to save money. When I have to get a gift new, I will buy things that are environmentally-responsible and made as locally as I can find.

Second, to cut down the number of gifts significantly. No gift mountain here.

Third, to introduce more traditions about giving outside of our household instead of within it. To make donating and giving a regular part of our holiday routine.

So how do We Change our Traditions? 

It's easy enough to say "We will buy less this year," but then the pile looks too small. Or the gifts don't seem quite even. Or it is just so fun to watch a toddler open a gift. I know for myself, it is so so easy to get carried away.

So the real answer is that a Christian Christmas tree can look any number of ways and that "too much" is so different for each person. It's subjective, and I honest to goodness am not out to judge people. Just to figure it out myself.

I have heard the "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read" idea, and it is a good idea for limiting gifting, but it doesn't have much to do with Christmas. I would make it the birthday rhyme, but we have already decided on one gift and one experience/surprise as our family's birthday formula (awesome and it works).

I read this suggestion on my minimalism and motherhood post, and I want to share it with you, because maybe a variation would be perfect for your family:

"About 8 years ago my sister and I started the tradition of giving our kids 3 gifts each. At my house Santa brings them, at my sister's Santa only fills their stockings and the gifts are from mom and dad.

The gifts each have a meaning correlating with the gifts that the wise men brought to Jesus.

The first gift is their GOLD gift. It is their biggest gift and may be expensive, but not necessarily. It can be the one thing they REALLY want or it can be chosen by the giver. It signifies how valuable they are to the family. It is wrapped in gold paper or has a gold bow on it.

The second gift is their FRANKINCENSE gift. Frankincense was sacred and burned exclusively in the temple. This gift should have something to do with how your child "meets" with God. We've given devotional books, worship CD's, even a pocket cross, or a book that teaches a moral lesson. Frankincense is a white substance, so this gift is wrapped in white paper.

The final gift is their MYRRH present. Myrrh is a resin that was used to scent oils and perfumes. It was also used in preparing bodies for burial, and has special symbolism since Jesus came to earth as a baby only to later die for our sins. It is dark earthy substance so it is wrapped in brown paper. This gift can be something they anoint their body with, like perfume or shower gel, or simply a gift for their body. In the past my kids have received clothing or something to help them keep their body in shape (like skates or anything that helps them be active).

My children LOVE this tradition. I hope it makes someone's Christmas more meaningful."

If you want to read her inspiration, check out this blog. A commenter said that they do a similar thing, gold is something they want, frankincense is something they need, and Myrrh is an experience.

I love this idea, and I especially love the symbolism of the three kings creating a more direct and thoughtful connection to the nativity story. It keeps the number really low, which is important to us (if you buy 3 gifts instead of 30, you can put more thought and money into each one) but it also makes the link between what we do and why we do it spiritual instead of cultural. It more clearly connects what we see at church with what we do at home.

I want to add one other thing to this. These kings came to give gifts to strangers from a foreign land with faith they were worthy of that love. I want to be much more generous about giving out this year, not just within our family but to people who really need it. I saw a tradition of a reverse Advent calendar, where everyday in Advent we add to a basket of items to be donated elsewhere. I think my goal is to spend more time on helping others than shopping.

How do you incorporate giving to others in your family?

How do you manage Christmas gifts at your house? How many presents is too many? Do you think about how the gifts were made or who made them? Has anyone been successful at instituting a smaller, more stewardship-oriented Christmas at their house?

Most importantly, what does being a Christian steward mean to you and how do you live that out at Christmas time?

Read more

Eco-Friendly Christmas Cards

the card is from etsy and the picture is from the amazing and talented Jenny GG

At this moment in the year, we start shopping for our Christmas card. Many of us send each other Christmas cards to wish friends peace and joy, to celebrate the holidays, and to show off their family in totally not posed pictures of family togetherness. I can joke, but I am as guilty as anyone of sending these cards and being so happy to receive them. It is equally nice to be wished happiness and to see how happy people I care about are. Christmas cards may be cheesy, but they are also awesome.

Even better, if you are trying to have a more eco-friendly holiday season, then the Christmas cards create a pretty obvious opportunity to make some positive changes! This is an opportunity to save trees, that keep our Earth cooler, our air cleaner, and our view prettier.

Think about how many trees must go down for all that holiday cheer in the mail- probably more worth it than the trees that come down for toilet paper. But if you can celebrate the holidays by being a steward and preserving God's creation, why wouldn't you do it? If the holiday really isn't about consumerism, we need to approach it with the spirit of stewardship first.

I know I as a Christian think even more about my role as a steward this time of year- how can I approach giving gifts in a way that pleases God? If giving gifts to each other is a symbolic repetition of God giving us the gift of his son, how can we do it in a way that takes care of his creation? Those questions resonate even when the gift is as small as a card.\

If you want to be a good steward this Christmas, recycled cards make so much sense. You can save trees from being cut down while still sending your love to others. The answer here is simple, though it might cost you more money.

The good news? Recycled card options are EVERYWHERE, they just may not be where you would look first. Skip Shutterfly and Tiny Prints. Tiny prints weirdly comes up when you search for eco-friendly Christmas cards, but they aren't, so that is an infuriating scam. They don't use any recycled paper as far as I can see. That being said, so many other places do.

Let's do this, people! Enough of these virgin tree shenanigans:

Green Field Paper Co

Green Field Paper Co is now my first stop for paper good browsing. Not only do they have great designs, they also feature more types of eco-friendly statonary than anyone. When you see just how many creative and eenviromentaly responsible options are out there, it's hard not to question why all paper companies don't try this route.My favorite- cards specifically made out of recycled junk mail! That is genius. All the other cars need to step it up. They also have plantable cards, ornaments, and gift cards (these are made of recycled paper and have seeds in them- bonus, they are all made in San Diego). Seriously, look here before you buy a box of cards anywhere else.

Paper Culture

Paper Culture is another gem- a perfect first stop if you want a cheesy/wonderful photo card (don't be ashamed; I love them too). Paper Culture recognizes their carbon footprint, and they try to offset it by using 100% post-consumer paper for their cards and by planting a tree for every order they sell. The Arbor Day Foundation does it for every card (so significantly more depending on your order), but these cards gave a little more design to them and have photocard options, so they may better fit your vision. Their designs vary from bright and busy to minimalist and chic, so you are sure to find something you like. Plus, they don't cost any more than those photo cards from Tiny Prints. How did we not all know about this before?!

Minted

 I have a lot of loyalty for Minted cards; we got our save the dates and birth announcements from them, and their cards always look great and modern. They are pretty comparably priced to Tiny Prints, just a little more expensive, but they offer 100% recycled paper for 15 dollars more. To me, that's worth it, and I will just buy fewer cards to cover the cost.

 Arbor Day Foundation

The Arbor Day Foundation sells 100% recycled "Give a Tree" paper cards as a fundraiser. Every card you buy puts money towards planting trees, so not only are you preventing more trees from coming down, you are also helping plant more! I love this idea so much, though I can't really say that the designs are anything to get excited about (some designer- volunteer your time). Definitely less stylish, but think, if you did this every year at Christmas, how many trees you could help plant in a lifetime. What a sweet addition to your holiday traditions.

Etsy

We all knew I was going to say it- you still have time to buy your cards from etsy, so you can start with this search to find eco-friendly options on there as well.

A Few Other Thoughts to Keep Things Eco-Friendly (No matter where you buy)

Skip the Foil- Foil pressed cards are really pretty, and they are super popular right now. Skip them. You can't recycle them and they won't biodegrade.

Buy Less- Pick a smaller than regular number to send and just don't send them to those people on the list that feel like a stretch. It can make a big difference to just cut down your numbers to the people you really care about.

Above all, Save the Trees- With so many recycled paper options out there, it really doesn't make sense to send a card on virgin tree paper.

That's it! Christmas is kicked off and I will have a ton of ideas for how to make tiny changes to your Christmas plans that will have a big impact on the Earth. Have specific questions? Let me know and we will try to address them. In the meantime, check out the Christmas lists from last year on The Giant List of Shopping Lists.

Read more

Green Christmas 2015: The Mission-Driven Girl's Wishlist

Our next Christmas Shopping Wishlist is from my cousin Rochelle! Shell is the kind of person who is always trying to do better and make the world better for the people around her. She loves to tell a story, and she has a lot of compassion for others. Not surprisingly, when I asked her to write me a Christmas list, she went above and beyond what I asked! 

In Rochelle's own words:

"I chose to focus on social responsibility instead of eco-friendly companies because the social responsibility was more important to me and I found that in most cases a company that practices social responsibility was also environmentally responsible but the reverse was not always the case.  Specifically, I wanted to find companies or stores that have a mission-minded focus.  I want the purchases I make to really mean something.  Not everything on this list will be mission-focused, but I think you’ll find that a lot of them practice some kind of mission."

Shelly made a list of things she wanted for Christmas:

Pajamas 

Candles

Clothes

Long Sleeve Shirts

Make-Up

Wedges

Rochelle had really awesome ideas for where to get these things, so I am going to let her do most the talking and just add a few thoughts of my own onto the end of each item.

I love that she adjusted her list to address the issues that matter the most to her- you should do that too! Think about how your gifts can do more than just get someone another thing. I am in love with her list, so I hope you love it too! 

from Sudara

from Sudara

1. Punjammies – "Every year my mom gets each of us Christmas pajamas that we open on Christmas Eve.  Usually she picks out sets from Kohls or the Gap (I usually pick out my own because I’m weirdly picky about my pajamas).  This year as I started to dig into various companies and social responsibility I found these pajamas and I am in love with them! 

Punjammies are made by a company called Sudara (www.sudara.org) in India.  The women who work for this company are rescued from the sex trade in India and provided housing and education for both themselves and their children.  You can order these adorable clothes direct from their website and styles are available for women, men, and children.  Women’s pajama bottoms run about $45 and that cute India shirt is about $35.  That is only about $20 more than an equivalent sleep set from Gap."

My thoughts- Gah! These pajamas are definitely awesome, and price wise, they are about the same as anything I have found Made in America. Our family does Christmas Ever pajamas too, and I think you could cut down the price slightly by doing Punjammies pants and get a basic (but ethical!) shirt from American Apparel or another Made in America company. Bed Head makes their pajamas in the US as well.

from Kristin Schmucker Shop

2. Candles– "I have been following Kristin Schmucker Shop on Instagram for nearly 2 years and I love pretty much everything in it.  Last year they added these adorable candles to the shop and I remember her posting a picture of her kitchen completely covered in mason jar candles – she makes these all in her own home! The candles are hand-poured with 100% natural soy wax from soy grown in the Midwest.  How cool is that?! And, they’re only about $11 on sale right now!"

My thoughts- Candles are an awesome thing to change course on, and they certainly make great gifts. Smelly candles are often made with paraffin that comes from petroleum! Boo! Using more sustainable materials (like soy or bee's wax) is better for your household and for the world (funny how often those go hand in hand).

Shelly didn't even mention my favorite thing about these candles- they have really pretty calligraphy on them (that seems to be Kristin's primary business) with bible verses. So awesome. If you are looking for other candle options, we are trying Eco Candle and Our Own Candle Company candles. I like the Tiger Mountain Farms beeswax candles and Silver Dollar Candle Co, but my absolute favorites are from Etta Arlene.

from Altar'd State

3. All the clothes from Altar’d State – "I love this store.  Like, I really, really love this store.  I started shopping here about 4 years ago.  My mom bought me my first two items right after I found out I was pregnant with my son and was tired of how bloated I looked (I show about 0.045 seconds after a positive pregnancy test – don’t tell me that I can wear my normal clothes well into the second trimester).  The long cardigan she bought me that day I still have and it is just now started to have a well-worn look.  Plus, it has adorable buttons on the cuffs.  Since then I’ve only bought a couple of items because, to be honest, the clothes are a little pricier than I usually buy.  All of that is seriously changing because  I’m no longer a “fast fashion” consumer and because I realized at the end of the summer that when I wanted to look super cute or put together I absolutely always reached for the two shirts I bought at Altar’d State at the beginning of the summer.

I can’t tell you that absolutely every item made in their store is socially responsible, but they do have certain stamps they put on some items that say “gives back” when the item is a part of their philanthropy program or the vendor is a partner in philanthropy.  This store donates 1% of all sales to local and international charities and they fund employee volunteer hours each month.  And their clothes are freaking cute.  Like, I seriously do want almost all of it.  These 3 tops were each about $40-$60 and the jeans are about $70, so like I said, it’s pricey.  But they last forever so they are great options for anchor pieces in your wardrobe.  The store also has great sales – I got 2 tops at the beginning of the summer for a grand total of $50 and I’m super sad that I can’t figure out how to make them work for winter."

My Thoughts- Altar'd States are all over the Southeastern region, but still remain pretty regional (you can shop from them online). But Shelly's love for them has inspired another Christmas season resolution: we should all take a second to explore a local shop. You know that one store that you walk by but haven't ever gone in? Time to check it out. There are small businesses all over the place that employ our neighbors and often have more priorities than "make more money, get bigger." But you don't know if you don't look, so let's all make a resolution to explore somewhere small before heading somewhere big.

from Krochet Kids

4. The Marni Long Sleeve Shirt from KrochetKids – "Okay, this company is pretty incredible (and they are a vendor partner with Altar’d State!).  This company was started by three guys who were best friends in high school and all learned to crochet.  They started making beanies to sell to locals in their mountain community in Spokane, WA.  Some friends and family eventually encouraged them to teach people in developing countries to crochet as a means of escaping poverty.  They now have over 150 people in Uganda and Peru  who are working, receiving education, and being mentored toward a sustainable future.

What’s even cooler is that each item is signed by the person who made it and you can go to their website and write them a thank you note!"

My Thoughts- Super cool! I love their hashtag #knowwhomadeit.  We bought the bub a hat from them, and it is well-made enough to stand up through way more toddlers. 

from Sephora

5. Colorscience Makeup – "So I heard about this brand thanks to an impulse decision to follow Kaley Cuoco on Instagram.  Evidently this is the make up they use on the set of The Big Bang Theory (sorry, Barbara, I still love it).  This makeup is different for a number of reasons and costs about the same as any department store makeup.  I can’t tell you better than they can, so here is a quote from their website: “Made from 100% healthy, high-integrity minerals, pigments and nourishing ingredients, including antioxidants, peptides, breathable zinc and titanium dioxide. You might have heard or read that we’re doctor approved. This is completely true. We are, in fact, doctor-recommended all over the country.”  It’s makeup that’s actually good for you!

They also have a give back program called “Sunstoppable” with which they teach healthy sun habits.  They also partner with the Women’s Dermatologic Society and the Skin Cancer Foundation to raise awareness about the need for kids’ sun protection during recess and outside playtime.

Their “Everything Matte” set helps give you a shine-free complexion and the whole set will run you $162.40.  I spent about $200 on a similar beauty routine from Clinique last year."

My Thoughts- Awesome! I am currently on a mission to use up my giant archive of make-up, but I did write about green and ethical make up this year. Luckily, some more knowledgable bloggers have already thought about this! Buzzfeed has a very helpful article on sustainable products. Beautylish pointed to ones that don't test on animals!

from Toms.com

6. Tom’s Wedge Booties – We pretty much all know the Toms story by now, but these booties were so cute I had to add them (especially since it’s a company that practices one-for-one).  Again, pricey (since you’re basically buying 2), but they’ll last you ages.

My Thoughts- Shoes are tough to come by made ethically (and this is the most common complaint about Toms), but it's better to invest in something like this than just spending your money on something with less mission. If you want to do a one to one gift, you could also get someone a bear from Bears for Humanity, which sells super cute teddy bears (mostly made in the US), and for every one you buy, one is given to a child in need. 

A Few Bonus Ideas

If you want to give someone a gift that is really helping others, you have tons of great options! TONS. So don't buy from Susan G Komen- it's not a charity, it's basically just a brand. 

from Ornaments for Charity

1. Ornaments for Charity- A family in Nebraska makes Lego Christmas ornaments which they sell for a different charity every year. This year, they are giving 100% of the proceeds to the  Stephen Center and Space Haven. If that doesn't make you feel good about the universe, than what will? This is happening in our house this year, for sure. 

from Sela Designs

2. Sela Jewelry- Sela Designs, out of Wisconsin, sells their fair trade jewelry to give all proceeds to a charity. They also choose different projects- right now, they are working with a Children's Hospital in Ethiopia. I mean, come on. AND the jewelry looks gorgeous. This yellow necklace is currently my favorite. A little more expensive, but the splurge seems worth it! ho wouldn't love to receive a gift like this? 

3. Soaps- You can find tons of fair trade and local soaps, the most ubiquitous in Seattle probably being Alaffia, but you can probably fine something that supports a region that matters to you. I used to think that Bath and Bodyworks was the ultimate "I don't really know you" gift, but I think you could actually use more thoughtful soap gifts to keep loved ones clean and support things that matter to them. 

Does anyone have any other suggestions? How do you combine doing good for other people with giving gifts?

If you are loving this wishlist and want WAY more Christmas inspiration, check out my MegaList, which includes all of the shopping lists from this blog! So much to look at! 

Read more

My Ten Favorite Buy Nothing Moments

I love my Buy Nothing Group.

I know, I talk about it a lot, but I genuinely feel that being part of the Buy Nothing Project radically shifted my perception of stuff, my community, even myself. The project connects neighbors through hyper local facebook groups. The members can offer and ask for things freely. It keeps things you don't want out of landfills and keeps people from wasting money. In cities, it helps you get to know your neighbors and in small communities, it creates new bonds. It's all kinds of awesome.

Expect me to keep talking about it, because my goal is that by the end of 4 years the 280,000 members will have grown to at least 2 million. It is all about people empowering themselves, but I am just going to keep talking about it until someone in Franklin, PA starts a group already. Or you give up and ask to join yours. This could help everyone, freeing up money to make more ethical and environmentally-responsible choices, so the more of us who join, the better.

It also just makes daily life better. When I get on facebook, my news feed shows me people being kind to each other, not because of who they are, but because that is what you do. I have had so many positive interactions with my neighbors, which is way swell, and I just feel better about the universe. That is pretty big these days. I have been in this gift economy for a year and a half, and these are some of my favorite interactions:

10. Gifting our Christmas Wreath

 I bought a fresh wreath at an elementary school fundraiser mostly to make my house smell like a real Christmas tree, even though we continue to use our trusty artificial one (It will look like a used fake eyelash before we throw that bad boy away). We were headed back home for the holidays, and it felt like a shame to let the wreath go to waste, so I gifted it to a young mom looking for a few decorations for her apartment. She walked a couple miles to get it, so I honored the badassery with glass of water, and we ended up sitting and chatting for a few hours while our kids played near each other (toddlers never play together- why do people pretend?). It was an unexpected way to spend our last Christmasy afternoon in the city. Plus that gorgeous pine stink still stuck for a while.

9. Gifted Tablecloths

My brother is getting married in a few weeks, so when someone recently offered 40 wedding tablecloths, I jumped at it. Do you know just how many tablecloths that is? It was HEAVY. Hopefully the tablecloths can get washed and regifted, so they will see at least 3 couples through their wedding day.

free

8.Gifted Popping Push Toy/ Plastic Shopping Cart/ Plastic Tree House/ Plastic Wagon

I hate fresh plastic toys- so much waste for no reason! Luckily, my son still got one of those magnetic drawing boards, the shopping cart, even one of those popper toys. His plastic tree house is one of his favorites. We just got them all for free. And when we are done with them, some other kid will get them for free. At this age, they can't tell the difference between used and new, and my hope is that I am giving him a different value system. The newest, shiniest thing doesn't have intrinsically more value.  More toys does not equal more fun. We have gifted toys and been gifted toys over and over again, so at any given time his collection is at least 50% used. It saves us so much money, but more importantly, it sends him important messages about consumerism and giving (not hoarding) as a regular part of life.

7.Gifting Spruce Sap

One of the group members was looking for sap from a spruce tree. We have a spruce tree! An hour or two later, our tree was less sticky and we got to help someone with a school project. Also, I learned that spruce trees are sappy. The best kind of random.

6. Gifting Treadmill/ Gifted Crib

We kicked off healthy 2016 by giving away our treadmill (perfect sense, right?). A woman got it, and her husband and his friend loaded it in their van. In November, I was gifted a crib from the same family. My husband and his brother loaded it into our car. Just goes to show that these things come around pretty fast.

about to find more pavers. also got the bucket (originally for frosting) on BN

5. Gifting Pavers

 Our flipped yard is really just built on top of the previous yard, so every time we go to do something, we find a whole floor of pavers underneath. Lucky for us, we kicked off our summer giving away a bunch of those big rocks to people to put paths through their gardens. One mom came with her toddler and loaded so many that it made her car sit lower. One woman's super annoying rock pit is another woman's treasure.

4. Gifted Food Magazines

For one of my class projects, I need pictures of food. Lots of pictures of food. So many pictures of food. Usually, I would buy a pile of food magazines and old cookbooks to fill that need. This year, I asked my Buy Nothing, and I got so many I shouldn't have to ask again for a long time. Happy to be recycling for someone, especially when the recycling turns out this cute.

3. Gifting (and watching Gifting) for people who really need it

Our city is growing fast, but lots of people are still really struggling, and I have been awed by how many times people have stepped up to help. I have seen people rally around moms leaving domestic violence situations. I have seen 10-20 people step up when someone asks for a ride to the hospital. I have seen them drop off food to someone who can't shop. We have given our newborn clothes to a premie and our swing to an exhausted mother of twins. We have given hats and warm clothes to the homeless. We have helped the group outfit elementary school classrooms with supplies. I have watch so many people empty their cupboards to help their neighbor.

I know we have problems, but I genuinely believe, have to believe that we as Americans are fundamentally good. When faced with an individual who needs help, I have never seen the group go silent. Someone helps. Usually, at least a dozen people offer. Being a participant in this is great, but it does my soul so much good to be a witness. Because when I leave my house, even in this big city, I know how many kind people are around me.

2. Gifting a Wedding Dress

I foolishly impulse bought a wedding dress at Priscilla of Boston because they were closing and had a ridiculous clearance. In the end. I wore a different dress. This spring, a woman asked if anyone had a wedding dress to gift or lend, and I did! So it traveled with my Dad and his wife across the country for her to try on. And it looked perfect. Little did I know I bought her dress for her, but it was fate. She looks amazing.

They get married next year, so I won't post a picture, but I could not be more excited about this. So glad the dress is going to good use and honored to have helped with their day!

1. Gifted the Dining Room Table

Last October, my husband was home for a sick day, and we ended up loading our sick butts into the car, renting a van, and going to a stranger's house to pick up the table. I had thrown my hat in for the table, but he was picked, then it didn't work in his space. Not only was it a kind of fun adventure, but I am super sentimental about this table. It was another growing family's first, and now our family will grow up eating their meals around this table.

It has been a lot of work (put on pause because we found out we were pregnant soon after), but the table only cost us 15 dollars for the van rental. Compare it to the same table at Pottery Barn, we saved over 2,000 dollars. We can put that money toward a trip or adventure for our family, and when it is done, we will still have a beautiful space. I love the table and I feel so grateful to live in the kind of neighborhood where things are given so freely and happily.

That's what this is all about to me. When we are willing to share with our neighbors, we can build new bonds and reprioritize our life. It doesn't have to all be about the next thing you are going to buy, and you spend most of the time considering what you have that you can give. If you aren't in a Buy Nothing group, check out their page and join. If there isn't one where you live, let's talk about starting one. This thing can change the world and change your life!

Read more

Throwback Thursday- Green Christmas: A Giving and Outdoorsy Christmas List

This is the newest in a long series of blogs where I implore you through long lists of cute stuff to buy less/better stuff! This Christmas, we will spend a lot of money on gifts. A lot. If we put all that money toward companies that respect their laborers and protect the environment, we can change the world. Every dollar we spend is a vote for the world we want to live in, so every time we buy Made in China junk at a big chain store, we say fast and easy is more important than good. That our selfish wants are more important than other's needs. I don't think that's what anyone really thinks, especially at Christmas, but I think it can feel like we don't have any choice. We do! So here is another shopping list to show that no matter what a person cares about, you can find them awesome, eco-friendly and socially-responsible gifts. We can do it!

Melissa and I have been friends since the 8th grade, when she was the only one who showed up to help me paint my bedroom. This friendship was solidified forever when we chased a cute red head boy around on a Spanish Cruise (in Pittsburgh). I just think she is a kind and wonderful person, and her new church and home in Colorado suits her perfectly. We care about a lot of the same things, and we love talking about issues, but there is one area where we clearly differ- outdoorsiness. Melissa and her hubby Alan go hiking, they do adventurey sports, and they wake up at dawn to see beautiful sunrises on their trips (we, on the other hand, sleep in, eat a lot, and hopefully look at old stuff). Because of this, she has all sorts of wisdom to share about what to buy the hiker you love, but even better, she has some great insight about what really matters this season:

"When B first tasked me with me creating a Christmas Wish list, I didn’t know what to list. A and I had already talked that we didn’t really want much for Christmas, and we’d simply save our money for retirement and emergency savings. (Remember, it’s never too early to save for retirement, but that’s not the subject of this post.)

That being said, when I began to think about a possible list, I quickly came up with lots of new things that I simply had to have. But the reality is, most of us have everything (and more) than what we need.
With that in mind, I first want to encourage you to look outside of yourself and see how you can give to those that need it the most. "

One of my absolute favorite things about doing these wishlists this year is that almost everyone who has written to me has their own things that matter more to them than the gifts. We all have things we "need," but we also all have things we care about deeply. I feel like this is really important, and one of the best parts about it is that to effectively donate in someone's honor, you need to know what they care about. You have to get to know them that much better, which is just another way I am positive that shifting our paradigm has a super positive ripple effect. Take it away, Melissa:

"Here are two organizations that my partner and I support and love:

1: Project Education South Sudan. This organization started because of an amazing woman in my church in Denver, Colorado. She and her husband were mentors to the “Lost Boys of Sudan”. That commitment birthed PESS. Now celebrating 10 years, PESS has helped thousands by partnering with South Sudanese communities in building schools and supporting young women. Daniel Majok Gai, one of the “Lost Boys”, is now the Executive Director of PESS. He is an incredible, inspiring human being. Under his new leadership, PESS is continuing to start new initiatives like making feminine hygiene products for young women. This not only creates jobs and economic growth for communities, but also provides young welcome the chance to continue to go to school during menstruation. When we grow up in our context, it’s hard to imagine not going to school because of menstruation; but millions of young girls can’t go to school because they don’t have the resources. I have met Daniel and a number of members of their board- they are extraordinary, and so is this mission and work. Go to their website for more info: http://projecteducationsouthsudan.org/ .

2: Episcopal Relief and Development. When you support Episcopal Relief and Development, you help millions of people across the world by fighting poverty, eradicating hunger, and eliminating disease. Go to this link: http://www.episcopalrelief.org/what-you-can-do/gifts-for-life to purchase a “Gift for Life”. ERD also has a very high rating as a non-profit, 85% of the money collected goes to the product and services it says it delivers. Remember, check the charity’s rating before you donate, so that your money goes to services and not overhead and corporate."

Now, Melissa's Christmas Wish List:

1. A Microwave Safe Egg Bowl: "I’ve been cooking eggs in the microwave every morning for the past couple of months. It saves time, calories, and it’s still debatable whether non-stick pans can potentially release a dangerous gas that is both hazardous to humans and birds alike."

from amazon

My Ideas- Alright, this one is pretty simple. One good option- Nordicware sells a microwave breakfast pan. It's microwave-safe, made in America, and actually cheaper than some of the less ethical options. Simple, easy, done!

2. Hiking undergarments- "Because Christmas is the season you get socks and underwear; I am always on the lookout for ethically made socks, underwear, and sport bras."

from REI- Darn Tough Socks

My Ideas- Alright, I started at REI for this, because I figure that is where outdoorsy people shop (truly, I do not know much about that kind of stuff). Also, they are closing for Black Friday! How cool is that! Lucky for me, there are lots of stores that specialize just in these things! Darn Tough socks are super cute, made in the US, and come in a variety of designs and thicknesses. Smart Wool sells socks for cold sports (mostly skiing?) and they look pretty intense for those hikes up in the snow-covered Rockies (here's a hiking-specific pair). Brooks Essentials sells socks specifically designed to keep your feet dry. Hanz sells waterproof socks as well.

REI sells lots of Made in the US socks for camping, hiking, and biking (also, riding on planes and recovering from surgery). They even have their own co-op socks, which are made in the US and come in at a measly 10 dollars. These socks are hardcore, but most don't come cheap. Is it weird to buy someone a single pair of socks for Christmas? Maybe, but if the socks last longer than 4 pairs of junky ones, I think you might be on to something!

REI also sells a good collection of long underwear made in the States from Polarmax (these are even on sale). Ibex Energy Free Tights claim to keep you warm all day, but the name makes me wonder if they somehow Dementor suck the energy out of your legs.

3. Stretchy bracelets- "I love these! You can mix and match and stack as many as you’d like."  

from hecho a mano

My Ideas- Oh, you know Etsy has tons of these, so I only picked a couple I like, but if you want to go that route, check Etsy first (and order in the next week or two). Feel like it's too many options? Put in a city near you or the giftee in the location box on the left side towards the bottom, it should narrow it down, and you are supporting something local! In Melissa's case, you can find 1000 (I am not kidding) options if you put in "bracelet" and "Boulder, CO." Hecho a Mano make my favorite ones that I saw, super fun and bright.

from tuchela

Tuchela sells big stacks of them (for 7 dollars!) that come in all sorts of color combinations. I thought this set was pretty, but I think you could get these as awesome stocking stuffers. Moon Lab Jewelry sells multiple bracelets that i think look really subtle and sophisticated.

4. A Paracord Survival Bracelet- "This could very well go into number three, but its uses are more for outdoor survival than fashion. See various uses here: http://www.outdoorlife.com/blogs/survivalist/2013/04/paracord-bracelets-10-practical-uses-other-fashion"

from Amazon

Just to Add- Wow! First of all, I didn't know these existed. That girl is so much earthier than I am. But you can find lots of them! And a good number are made here in the States! Survival Straps come in lots of pretty and bright color combinations, as well as more practical earthy ones. Tactical Wilderness ones look great, and they have a compass in them! That's helpful if you get lost a lot (though, as someone else who is often lost, let me recommend not going on long confusing walks in the woods). Mountaineer sells a nice looking one in the color "Olive drab" Seriously, why would anyone buy clothing with drab in the title?!?

If you have lots of outdoorswo/men in your life, you can buy a large kit from Paracord Ninja and make them as gifts! How cool!

from Topo Designs

5. A ski back pack- "In the outdoor world, folks are always creating new product for niche uses. I have my day hiking pack, my back packing pack, my rock climbing pack, well you get the idea. Since I ski twice a week on average, tt’d be nice to have one specifically designed for skiing." 
Just to Add- Ok, I didn't find much US-made for ski backpack (I did find quite a few snowshoes though). I did find airbag ski bags, which I am not convinced are the same thing (I also found carriers for your skis and your boots made in America). Like I said, not super impressive, but maybe one of these would work for skiing?

I did find some just regular backpacks that might be great for someone you love. My pick for Melissa would be Topo designs, who are based out of Colorado, just like her! These backpacks have really cool but functional designs, and they partner with other great American brands.like Woolrich. This one is my favorite for her.

My other top pick would be from Green Guru Gear, which is made out of all sorts of recycled materials (part of their company mission is providing a recycling source for adventure sports). Their backpacks seem to primarily be made for biking, but I think they could be awesome for lots of purposes. Plus, they are made in the USA and all-recycled, so you know I love them. New favorite. If only I enjoyed adventure sports!

Tough Traveler makes a wide variety of durable backpacks that might be great for skiing! We bought a suitcase from them as a gift, and I can vouch for their greatness. Clinton at North Street Bags makes backpacks that look tough, but are in pretty colors! Equinox, who I also love, makes backpacks and backpack covers (in case she could repurpose another bag). Utility Canvas makes really simple backpacks as well.

As a side note, Melissa and Alan are also big photographers, and I found some very tough, but good-looking camera bags. If you have a landscape photographer/ adventurer in your life, I might stop first at Domke. These are serious bags, so this only works if the giftee REALLY takes their photography seriously.

6. This quote “Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink the wild air” printed on something- "As we know, and with the help of this blog, what we surround ourselves with, and what we use, matter. I love this quote and want to put it up on my desk to always encourage me to adventure into the unknown and experience God’s love for us in creation."
Just to Add- Gah, I love this one! As Melissa could tell you, I love buying she and Alan art, frames and decorations. Our style is so different- I am a colorful mismatched quilt that doesn't make much sense, she is a crisp but warm comforter in a single color with a clean repeating organic pattern embroidered on. I have a whole folder of things I see that are Melissa things, because it's fun to play in her aesthetic.

from words and page

Apparently, Melissa has tons of company admiring this Ralph Waldo Emerson quote. I found lots of pretty options! This one might be my absolute favorite, words and page does beautiful calligraphy (and it's on recycled paper). It's simple and clean, but it still reminds me of the outside. There are lots of pretty calligraphic options, which feel really special even if they are simple.

This ceramic sign is refreshingly simple in comparison to the content of the quote- maybe too much? I can't decide, but it does remind me of a book page. This embroidery hoop is clean and feminine, so it might look perfect in an office. If you want to get something like that as a gift but you don't have much money, you could also get a downloadable one like this one and print it out! The last option I really like on Etsy is this wall decal which I think looks really sophisticated and might be perfect in an office.

If you have someone in your life milling over this idea, I would recommend making them an art print with the quote, but use their own photograph! This would especially work for Mel and Alan, because they take spectacular landscape photographs together.

from Western Mountaineering

7. The Big Gift- "Growing up, Santa always brought one big gift whether it be a bike or a Barbie Dream House. My two big gift wishes would be a winter sleeping bag and a new digital piano. I know, opposite ends of the spectrum, but it is what it is. A and I went winter camping 10 years ago in college. I froze to death and still have never gotten over it. We stayed together, but my bitterness remains. For the piano, I started taking lessons with Miss Darlene in Longmont this August. While I have a keyboard, we have progressed quickly and I need the functions (like 88 keys and a pedal) faster than I expected."

Just to Add- First of all, I know the kind of sleeping bag she is talking about (because she told me, to be clear) and they are for really really cold nights (and not just cold like her bitterness, cold like I am not even going outside), and I am not sure what I found hits that level of winter-ness. My pick would be Western Mountaineering, which is only sold in stores, so you have to put your zipcode in and go. They have tons of choices, all organized by horrifying temperatures (I cannot empathize with the desire to sleep in -25 degree weather). They also don't have prices, which makes me feel like I can't afford them because I had to ask. Wiggy's also sells Made in America sleeping bags. Butler Bags makes an all-seasons bag which might not be hardcore enough for Melissa, but it might be perfect for who you are shopping for!

Second, Keyboards. These are tough! Yamaha does have six factories in the US, and from what I can tell, they are the only major brand that does (avoid Casio, boo Casio). Still, I can't seem to find any straightforward answers about which of the keyboards are made domestically and what are made internationally. If you can find that info, send it my way and i will update this!

A Few More Ideas

A Cozy Blanket- Faribault and Woolrich sell blankets that look tough enough for a camping trip and cozy enough for a living room. These aren't cheap either, but I feel like it's a special gift that will last a very long time, even if they have a tough ride out in the woods. Faribault also has a special place in my heart, because they are doing a buy one/ give one program this winter, so for every blanket or scarf you buy from them, they will donate a blanket to help Minnesota's homeless population. That's awesome, and it might be the perfect combination of Melissa's wishlists!

National Park's Monopoly- I love this board game so much for Melissa and Alan, because I feel like they explore national parks more than any other family I know, and like I have said before, travelers love dreaming of future travels. This might be a cool way to do it! Maybe they could play it while hosting?

from REI

Boots- I am not talking cutesy riding boots here, I am talking hiking boots. But they can still be cute! I especially like these ones from Keen, for those wintery hikes up in the mountains.

Camera Bags and Straps- As a side note, Melissa and Alan are also big photographers, and I found some very tough, but good-looking camera bags. If you have a landscape photographer/ adventurer in your life, I might stop first at Domke. These are serious bags, so this only works if the giftee REALLY takes their photography seriously.

You could also get your hardcore photographer one of these cool Luma Loop straps, which might be particularly helpful for someone who has to move around a lot to get their shot.

Water Bottles- You can read about my beloved reusable water bottles elsewhere, but Liberty Bottle now takes the cake. I love this so much, and I will probably buy it for Melissa. Spoiler Alert. Also reading Liberty Bottle's website, I am very encouraged by their priorities as a company, making more jobs and creating less waste.

But outdoorsy people need water bottles. Everyone needs a reusable water bottle- let 2016 be the year we stop using those horrible plastic one time use monsters.

Tents- If you have an aspiring outdoorperson on your list (or have been thinking about a tent yourself) you have good options! Beckel Canvas Tents look like the kind Ron Swanson would like (if he couldn't make his own lean to). Springbar also has lots of great options, so you can get out there and camp it up (maybe in the spring? Unless you have a winter sleeping bag and a will of steel).

Alright, I hope this list gave you inspiration for the outdoorsy person you love! Remember to look at the thrift and vintage stores nearby too, because you might find something on your list for a better price and a more eco-friendly option!

If you are still feeling shoppy, check out my big honking list of lists for more shopping ideas!

Read more