Green Christmas: 10 Awesome Gifts that Don't Take Up Any Room Under the Tree

Oh who doesn't love the look of a Christmas tree just bursting with gifts underneath? It feels good to see that symbol of abundance and that physical manifestation of love on Christmas morning. I know I really love a good Gift Mountain. I do. Not facetious at all, it makes me so happy to give gifts.

That being said, how many of the gifts you received last year can you name? And how many gifts get returned or never quite find use in the course of the year? Probably at least a few! We give so many gifts this time of year, but if you are looking to get the most for the biggest deal, you are doing harm. Americans have so much stuff, and we are creating tons of waste. 85 million tons of textile waste. Plastic that is overrunning the ocean. Encouraging inequality and the mistreatment of other. If Jesus came to save the world, why are we celebrating him by destroying it?

I would never knock gift-giving as a practice, but I do think there are lots of gifts we could be giving that don't take up more room in our homes and under our tree. Giving gifts that don't take up space can sometimes be the best ones, and they can help us take care of what we already have rather than adding to piles that can become hard to manage. These gifts might not fill up the tree space as much, but I think they are gifts that your loved ones will be so much more likely to remember.

What non-material gifts are you giving this year? I am excited to be buying our niece piano lessons with a few books. All of our siblings are getting experiences instead of stuff. It's a trend I am excited about, even if we don't have the big gift-opening moment on Christmas morning. That's two minutes. I want to get gift that make memories that will last.


So here are my best ideas- what are you getting this year that you don't have to wrap

1. Netflix Subscriptions- Rather than buying someone a stack of movies this Christmas, what about getting them the fancy dvd level membership to Netflix? Even pay for their streaming for them! It is a little steep, maybe their whole gift for the year, but it creates a lot less waste to borrow than to own!

2. Quality Time- Rather than getting a family or couple more stuff, look up an event calendar for their town and think about if you could get them tickets to a cool activity they would enjoy. For example (and sorry, Shell, I didn't go for it and I should have), I saw tickets for sale to go see/ ride on Thomas the Tank Engine that would have been so fun for my sweet cousin's toddlers and their whole family. If you can fund a new experience or a family memory, that can make a great gift!

For the Bub's birthday, we bought him one gift. One. Instead, we took him to see Daniel Tiger Live as a family, and he was so into it! My goal is to manage birthdays this way forever- one gift, one experience, and one party. I love the memory of going there with him, and it won't add to the collection of toys we seem to always be fighting back.

If you don't have kids to shop for, this still works. Try concert tickets or season tickets to something. Give a gift card for a trip you know they are saving for.

3. Handy Help- Taking a page from Luke on Gilmore Girls, you could give "coupons" for help getting something checked off a loved one's to do list. Not handy yourself? You could try buying your loved one a few hours of handyman or cleaning person time. I have given this gift, and not to toot my own horn (toot toot), but I think it is basically the best gift ever. Let's face it, adulthood is the worst, and it gets so old to have a neverending to do list for your home. Blech.

You can get a loved one a little help fixing that vent or ceiling, or hanging that molding, or building that closet organization, or whatever other nonsense just never quite gets done because it sounds horrible and people are super busy. One of the greenest things we can do is take care of what we have so we don't need to buy a new one, so this might be the ticket for someone you care about.

4. Food- Take someone a lasagna or pot pie or something they can stick in their freezer, not under the tree. Much like house repairs, cooking can be a real pain in the bumper this time of year. It can really help someone out. If you aren't sure what to make, but you want to give more practical gifts, you could also stock a pantry or buy them all (recycled) paper goods (I love this idea- a year's worth of paper towels sounds so lame, but it is kind of awesome actually).

5. Date Night- A gift card for a night out is not exactly new territory, but it's a classic for a reason. People love to eat out, and this gives them a good reason to go do it!

6. A Museum Membership- If your giftee lives near a museum (or zoo? or theater? science center?), a membership could be a great gift! It basically gives them a constant reason to go visit, and members at many museums have access to activities and events they may not otherwise. Perfect for an art lover, animal lover, or just someone who loves to learn. Also great for stay at home parents, as most of these places have weekday activities that cater to small children and their adults.

7. Donating to a Charity in their Honor- For that person who really does have everything, and they really don't want any more stuff. You can find charities that give ornaments or calendars in return for a donation if you want to give them a little token, but I think this would be so cool. If we all put 100 dollars of our Christmas shopping money directly into charities, we could make a huge difference in the world!

This one feels even more relevant than it did a year ago. We need to support organizations fighting for our environment and for human rights. You could also support efforts to help in Syria or even "adopt" a refugee family in their honor. So many options here, so think about what matters most to them.

8. A Visit from a Cleaning Service- Do you know someone with small children? Stop! Do not buy them another baby thing,

Get them a few visits from a cleaning service. You will be their favorite person forever.

This could probably work for all sorts of people, but parents of babies will love you the most, and that's the point of Christmas, right?

Check with them first; no reason to offend anyone. If you don't have much money, but you have some serious cleaning skills, this is a gift that could cost you 0 dollars.

9. Lessons- The Boy and I talk about getting cooking and dancing lessons all the time, but we have never gone for it. If you know someone has debated it, this might be the perfect way to help the person you love finally take the leap. Swimming lessons might be cool for kids too. The community college near us has a super interesting catalog of night classes, so be sure to check out what is near you too!

10. Massages- I think massages are a little awkward, but not everyone is as wimpy as me. A massage might really make their day. We did this for my brother and sister in law last year as a kind of date? Wow, that sounds awkward to me, but you go ahead and go for it, because we aren't all pasty blogging dorks.

What non-material gifts have you bought for someone?

Some of these are a little steep- I am a big supporter of going in with others to buy gifts! If we all focus on quality and not quantity, I think we can shift our paradigm on Christmas and consumption, focusing more on what really matters and less on stuff! Who can't get behind that?

If you are looking for more shopping inspiration, check out my Giant List of Shopping Lists!

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Tips for Keeping a Family or Couple's Yearbook

One of my favorite parts of our anniversary is pulling out our photo books from previous years and reflecting on the year we have just had. I think we will always look at the one I made for our wedding on our wedding anniversary, but that whole week (our wedding anniversary is the 25th and our anniversary is the 29th), we pull out old books to reflect. A few weeks later, our new book will come in that orange shutterfly box  (I know other people use Blurb, but my Shutterfly loyalty currently runs pretty deep).

I started making us year books as an anniversary gift way back around year 4 of our relationship (I don't count it as a gift anymore, because it is as much for me as for the Boy). For me, these books are a huge part of maintaining our own little family culture and preserving our history in a way we can manage, much easier to navigate than the THOUSANDS of pictures I take every year.

 As I look at them lined up like that, it seems narcissistic, and honestly, maybe it is, but I think it will continue to transform as our immediate family grows, and I am glad the early years of our relationship are captured for us to remember. The books serve as a good reminder that the years or days don't always have to be the most exciting or eventful to be important to you. It just goes back to treating your life and your relationship like they are meaningful, and that attitude encourages more meaningful events. It's true!

I know people have the intention to do this kind of thing, but sometimes it can be hard to keep up with. After seven years of doing it, I have a few tips that may help:

-Take pictures! Not just with your phone! Though the convenience of camera phones certainly appeals, the problem is you end up with relatively low quality images that don't print that well. They drive me crazy when I have to use them for family calendars, because no matter how great they are, they have to be teeny tiny.

You don't have to have a massive camera, just keep a point and shoot with you when you go out and (maybe more important) out and available when you are home! It can be hard to make it part of your routine, but the more everyone gets on board with it, the more you will be glad you did.

-Steal other people's pictures of the memories you share with them- I have mostly stopped posting our personal pictures on facebook, but I still try to post our times with family in case family members want that picture as well. Stealing others pictures can give you a more full picture of holidays (and if you are like me, might be the only chance to prove you were actually there!) Repeat after me; Right click- Save Picture As- Put a Date as the title- Save.

- Organize your photographs (by Date and Subject) as you upload them- I don't have a good reputation for being organized (and rightly so) but I keep my photo archive meticulous. When I upload my pictures, I label them like this: "7-4-2014 Fourth of July" or "4-25-2014 Boring Week with Hats." Go through them right away and throw away anything that is blurry/ not great.

- Pick a start date that is meaningful to you. January is actually a tough place to start because you have just established a bunch of new goals plus not much is going on. December is an even more difficult time to finish, because life is crazy around the holidays (not to mention, if you are like me, you have a bunch of other photo gifts to make that time of year).

 I love using our anniversary as a start and end date. I love it even more as our family starts to expand, because I don't want to forget that our relationship was the start and should remain one of the centers of our family. If you have kids, you could also do it around the school year. Or start it at the beginning of every summer? Don't feel tied to the calendar year.

-Pick your photos at least once a month- I make a new folder "Year # Book", and I put my favorite pictures from each event, the ones I would want in our book, into that folder. Even if I don't make the actual pages until weeks or months after the event, it is so much simpler than trying to make those choices and upload at the same time.

-And while you are at it, just make the book as you go- I love Shutterfly because you can save your projects on their website and just keep coming back to it. This can be a big project, but I think it is better to think of it as a long commitment. You put a little bit of time in a couple of times over 12 months rather than trying to organize your whole life once a year. Plus, if you do it as you go, you don't have trouble remembering why you took that picture.

I usually dig in to making pages after big events. I usually do the majority of the fall before Thanksgiving, because I know I will have a lot more pictures to go through after the holidays, and I tackle all of that later in January when things calm down. Doing it all at once would be a daunting task, but if you start putting things together as you go, it becomes a half hour- hour commitment every so often instead. 

-Pick a style that feels good at the time- The choices you make, no matter what they are, will be fine as long as you are telling your story. As you go, you will come up with strategies you like, and your style will change a lot (for us, the pages are more complex, and the book is both bigger and longer than when we started)! The first book is from 2009, and the second is 2013, so you can see how much I have changed. I think my books are getting better, but not really that much better, just different. I can't imagine how many styles we will go though by 20 years or 50!

-If you love the picture, make it big! Even if you don't have tons of pictures, you can still fill up a book with a few key pictures. Christmas can be a 2 page spread, or it can take up 10 pages. It doesn't even have to be chronological! No one makes the rules but you. Shutterfly standard books are 20 pages long, but you can add up to 90 pages. I usually use almost all of them, but you should pace it however makes sense for you.

-Remember to capture everyday life too- I saw this great idea on someone else's blog. Crown one day a "regular day" and capture it from start to finish, so you can give a more clear picture of what life looked like when it wasn't a holiday or special event. It can be easy to forget that low key times matter too, but sometimes the best moments happen when life is a little more laid back!

-Write some text to explain what is going on, what was said, what the joke is- I see lots of these books on pinterest that look really design-y and cool, but I just think that you may be forfeiting more than you realize. You don't think you will forget now, but you will. Write the stories. I use three fonts- a 30-60 size fonts for headings, a 20-30 size font for sub-headings, and usually something around 12 for captions (because I figure our eyes will get worse). Shutterfly and other stores have pre-set styles if you want to just pick one and keep it simple. But trust me, you want text.

-Pick your favorite moments- One of my favorite pages is the very last one I make, where the Boy and I talk about our favorite moments from the year. We just started doing this since we got married. We list 10-12 times that were especially meaningful or fun, and I think it will bring a lot of joy in the future to go just through those pages.

- Enjoy it- This is a task that should be fun, so don't agonize over it. After all, I think it is so fun and exciting to reflect. It's a great exercise in gratitude!

- Wait for sales! If you are going to use Shutterfly, know that they put everything on sale OFTEN, so you don't have to order it the second you finish it. Keep an eye out for a good sale on photobooks AND extra pages (if you are like me and end up using a ton), and order it once you find a price you like.

I hope this helps you feel like this is a totally achievable goal! If you have any advice or questions for me, feel free to ask!

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5 Things for the Last Two Days

1. Terry Crews on Huff Post Live about being a feminist and aggression/anger in sports- First of all, I mostly really really hate Huff Post Live, so I am glad I actually sat through this one to hear what he had to say. The article underneath focused on his soundbites about the amount of anger necessary to be a good football player and the way the sport encourages abuse/ alienation. All of this is well and good, but I was more encouraged to hear his criticism of how professional sports treat women as second class citizens and how he self-identifies as a feminist (if you don't think this is hard to do, you can actually see this big guy be kind of scared to say it and then go for it).

I am convinced that Terry Crews and Chris Pratt are in some sort of secret competition of dude's dudes who feminists freaking love. Tom Hiddleston is also in that game, and the post of his HeforShe support is also doing the rounds on Pinterest. I love that this is even a thing now, but seriously, how much cuter are men who openly respect women? Well-played, gentlemen.

2.  People who are going to get an A plus at parenting- Ack. We should have been those people, and yet, we do not show up for our various parenting classes and events with prepared questions and a strong sense of what the goal is. So far, we have left everyone mostly reflecting on how stupid we are and how little we know about this business. But I have now met plenty of soon to be moms who are going to be awesome at baby-parenting. My goal is that our spawn survives to toddlerhood. 

3. Flying Squirrel Pizza- Particularly, their cheesy bread. Oh to be pregnant and not have to feel so bad eating cheesy bread. We have our delivery pizza place, which is pretty obviously owned by Greek people, and I am pretty sure Flying Squirrel is run by a large pack of waspy hipsters, because all of their servers make me feel tragically uncool. Also, this is the only restaurant I know of that has Ron Swanson as Hans Solo as one of the decorations on the wall. I wanted to take a picture of it, but there were people right there, and I feel like that creeps them out.  I asked for it for Christmas.

4. Catching up with people- Yesterday was one of those days where I heard from a bunch of our California friends on facebook and on the phone. I loved hearing how they were doing and catching up with their lives, though it did make me miss living there (who would have guessed that would ever happen)!

5. All the hype for the opening of Chicago- If you live anywhere near Franklin, PA, go see this production (which I hear is awesome) at the Barrow Civic Theater. Do it for this beached whale and her adorable anchor of a fetus. I love that even on Facebook, you can really see how much people support each other and these shows in our small town!

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Wedding Wednesday- How to Save on Wedding Decorations

Oy, wedding costs! You go into it with a vision, and then slowly, that vision can be chipped away just by the shrinking amount still left in the budget. Before you are really planning, you spend a lot of time plotting decorations and cool details, but those are often the things that get cut for the sake of the event as a whole. Some of that is inevitable, but I do think there are cool ways to approach decorations that can save you BIG money.

Even better, if you shift your approach to the stuff you buy for the wedding, you can save things from landfills and create less waste. So many of these decor pieces are used one night only, but if they are shared between many couples, they can have much longer and happier lives.

1. Let the Space do the Work- You picked your venues for a reason. Start with that premise and just let the beauty of your wedding and reception spaces shine through. If it's already a good-looking spot, you may not need much. Don't pick a theme that doesn't fit the room, and you have already saved yourself tons of money.

2. Focus on Lighting (and someone can always lend you lights)- If I had to decorate a whole reception with one item, it would be white twinkly lights. Lighting sets the mood, makes everything look intentional (even when it isn't), and adds that magical thing. Even better, you can almost always find lighting as a rental or used. Twice this summer, I have seen brides gifted tons of Christmas lights for their weddings on Buy Nothing. If you do get lights lent to you, be sure to mark who each strand belongs to. Otherwise, you can get this high impact item for very cheap or even free.

3. DIY it- I love browsing the decoration ideas on Etsy, but I am often struck how many of the things on there can just be made- you don't need to buy them! Sparkly branches? Glue, glitter, and a walk in the woods. Tissue paper flowers? Buy some bulk tissue paper and wire. Peg doll cake topper? Paint that business yourself. We made our escort cards from paint swatches- it doesn't have to be expensive to be memorable and fun.

 When you buy decor, you are paying for time and skill. Work ahead so you have the time, and you can self-assess which skills are within your wheelhouse. You can a little bit of money go a lot further this way! Only trick is to plan ahead!

4. Focal Points over Details- I have seen so many weddings where there were fussy centerpiece things at the table but nowhere to look in the room. Make a few spots really worth looking at and don't bother trying to make every corner beautiful. People will only remember a handful of things anyway.

5. Multi-task- Use your favors or cake or guests as decor. You have millions of choices dependent on your favor, but it's a nice way to have something do double duty. I went to a wedding last year where the cakes were the centerpieces, which saves tons of money on flowers, and you get more time with cake, so who can complain? Stepping out of the box even a little might help you figure out how to make what you are already paying for a key part of the room.

6. Everything Doesn't Have to Match Perfectly- Matchy matchy can be great if you are meticulous, but a little variation never hurt anyone. One of my best friends is very detail-oriented and got all the colors to match perfectly at her wedding. And it looked amazing, but it doesn't have to go that way. If you can find 40 free plates that look one way and 50 that look another, and they both fit, just use them both. It's more important to have a set sense of style than an overly particular matching set mentality. That sense of style and vision for the big picture is what will have the impact in the end.

7. And Please Don't Monogram your Napkins- Why. Why. Why. Why is this even still a thing? If you are doing the little cocktail napkins, by all means, get them in a color that resonates with your scheme (even better, get them recycled from a company like Susty). But why is this insta-garbage a good time to remind people whose wedding they are attending? No one has forgotten, and honestly, it is never all that classy. Put your money into other details, and then whatever you don't use can be for another couple or your dinner parties. Put the date on your favors, and skip the rest.

8. Get It Used- This is the most cost-effective AND eco-friendly thing you can do for your wedding decorations. So many wedding decorations become one time use things, and I hate to think of all the perfectly useful objects that get thrown out. But the bright side is you can find so much out there if you just know where to look and don't mind some browsing.

You can find great used decorations:

Newlyweds- We all know these big life events happen in waves. If you have friends getting married before you, check and see what you can get off their hands once they are hitched. We definitely gave decorations away to the Boy's beloved cousin, and our lights to the high school for dances. Your friends will have stuff they are happy to part with. Doesn't perfectly match? Get creative about what you can stretch to fit or change the color of and then offer the rest to others. After your hitched you can pay the favor forward!

On Buy Nothing- Have you joined your local Buy Nothing Project yet? I have seen it all on there- people offering their table runners to other asking for (and receiving) tons of glass vases for their center pieces. Check with your Buy Nothing and you could save 100's of dollars.

Goodwill and other Consignment Stores- Sometimes, this kind of shopping is a bust, but if you know what you need, you might find a steal. Also, lots of cities have craft consignment stores that might sell the ribbon or fabric you need as well.

Online Resale sites- Thank goodness for the internet, because you can now find everything you would ever want to decorate with used. Cheaper, convenient, and keeping things out of landfills? Amazing.

Ruffled is an absolute treasure, and you can find so many gorgeous things on their "Recycle your Wedding" pages. They have at least a thousand items, so it's a lot to go through, but you are sure to find something.  Make sure to check the price against the brand new cost, and don't be afraid to ask them to lower it a little (I mean, what else are they going to do with 100 extra mason jars?) Browse often, because things are going up all the time! You can find a steal on beautiful decorations.I may actually buy some things from them for a non-matrimonial party.

Tradesy- Tradesy started as wedding only, but they have had enough success to branch out. They have all kinds of wedding stuff, from bridesmaid dresses to wedding papers, but their decorations section is especially amazing and well-organized. They have 5,500+ items up right now! Easier to browse than most of the other sites as well. Be sure to join their mailing list so you get even more money off.

Wedding Recycle- This website also has lots of selection (about 3000 items) and they are connected to the Can't Buy me Love Project, where you donate wedding dresses that can be given away to brides who otherwise couldn't afford them. Pretty cool.

So you may be overwhelmed with the amount of money you have already spent nailing down the DJ and planning with the caterer. I don't blame you- weddings are expensive! But decorations is an area that with a little creativity, you can make huge impact with a little bit of money.

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Wedding Wednesday- Unique and Eco-Friendly Wedding Invites and Other Paper Goods

from Alison Kate Design in Missouri

I have strayed away from this topic before, because it seems like one of the more obvious choices for greening your wedding- if you care about the environment, you have probably thought about this. On the other hand, I know I thought that recycled invitations all have a very specific look. Like a mason jar wrapped in burlap, but in paper form. Like maybe some granola will fall out of the envelope.

What is surprising is that you can get recycled paper invitations in ANY style. No matter what kind of scene you want to set, you can do it on recycled paper.

Once you know recycled paper invites (and other wedding paper goods- save the dates, thank you cards, etc.) can come in as mainstream, traditional, quirky, indie, or whatever else style you want, it opens up the opportunity to do something good on the sly. You can find anything you need without one tree falling down, and in that way, your wedding is doing some real good.

Here are some of the best options I found for Eco-Friendly wedding invitations that can be as unique or mainstream as you want them to be. Even if this isn't something you ever considered, be sure to take a look, because your wedding is a step into your future, and we all want a future with clear air.

Let's do this!

 Forever Fiances

This ridiculously cool save the date and wedding invitation company gives you two eco-friendly options for your invites.First, you can buy plantable invitations! These are made of recycled paper with plants inbedded inside of them, so your guests can go plant them after the fact. If that feels a little too heavy-handed for your style, they have recycled paper options as well (they call them "new tree free- I love that!). I actually like the plantable designs better than the recycled ones, but there are so many options and you can probably find something that works for your plans.

This is so unique and cool, and I think it sets the stage for a great wedding, whether you want to foreground your eco-friendly choices or let the day be about something else. Their prices are almost identical to shops like Wedding Paper Divas, so you won't be breaking the bank, AND you will be saving trees and even starting new ones! Either way, incredibly exciting. Why don't all companies work this way?

Jealous you can't get married again to use this company? Me too! They also sell personalized business cards, invitations, and other stationary, so check them out.

Your Local Invitation Maker (this includes you)

Lots of communities and cities have local options for calligraphers. It may be easier to get something online, but be sure to look around and see what is available near you, because dealing with an actual person can be more satisfying. You are supporting a local business, cutting down your weddings carbon footprint, and you can get exactly what you want.

If you are particularly talented in this area (and you have a good chunk of time), you could totally make your invites yourself! It would be a special and memorable way to go about it, you could pick recycled paper and soy inks, and you will probably save oodles of money to spend elsewhere. You can find eco-friendly papers at lots of these stores, like Green Field Paper Co.

 If doing the invites sounds like a lot, you can also consider how to use those skills or that beautiful penmanship elsewhere in the events; make the menu (maybe do one standing card per table or a large sign to cut down on paper), make seating charts or placecards or your programs. Paper comes in so many places, and anywhere you can consolidate or do it yourself, you can save money and save trees.

If you are going local, which is awesome, be sure to ask them about recycled paper and soy-based inks. Part of the perk of dealing with a smaller company is that you can talk to them face to face and hopefully work out something that is perfect! This is a cool way to support your community and to help the environment.

Minted

We bought our save the dates from this company, and they looked beautiful and used recycled paper and envelopes. One of the best things about this company is that they have a wide variety of designs coming from many different American designers, so you know your cards will have a style that matches you perfectly. This company always stays just a little bit ahead of trends, and their cards seem cool without trying too hard. They have almost a thousand options, and you can order most with recycled paper for 15-35 dollars extra (pretty affordable). I love them, and I think they are a great option.

Bloomin

Bloomin also sells plantable wedding invites, save the dates, thank you's, seating cards. Basically the whole shebang. I love how broad their paper supplies are, And their designs are mostly simple and timeless (especially considering the whole thing will be buried in the dirt in no time). Waste free and really special, this might still be a great option for one of your other wedding paper needs outside of the invites themselves.

In fact, my favorite might be "Growfetti" which would be a perfect substitute for bubbles (that come in little plastic containers), confetti, or rice. Just make sure it is alright at the place where you are getting married! A church lawn might not be the place, but a country wedding in a big field, it might be just fine.

Green Field Paper

This store sells recycled paper, seeded/ plantable paper, and even paper made of hemp. Before you stick your nose up, be sure to check it out, because they have so many options you might actually find the perfect thing. They don't have a ton of options, and I am not in love with all of them, but some are great and might be just your style. Plus, you can choose which paper your design comes on, so you get to prioritize what matters most to you.

As a side note, this company also sells Christmas cards, including ones made out of 100% junk mail. God bless this company, because that is genius.

Zazzle 

Recycled wedding invitations are becoming common enough now that lots of more mainstream companies like zazzle offer a recycled paper option. Another great option to look through if you aren't finding what you are imagining!

Twisted Limb

This company is on the opposite end of the Zazzle spectrum. They make handmade recycled paper that is stitched into invitations. As someone who has handmade paper before, I can tell you a heck of a lot of time and love went into these beauties. You couldn't get something more precious and special unless you made it yourself. To be totally honest, I am not sure invitations need to be such precious objects; we have kept some wedding invites but they aren't particularly treasured. But if you are having a very small wedding, it might make a really cool splurge.

Wedding Websites

Ok, I am not suggesting you only use an e-invitation unless that suits you (or you are having a pretty informal or tech-savvy wedding), but skipping the rsvp and having people rsvp online is a super efficient and cost effective (see also- free!) way to help the environment. If you send 100 invitations, just skipping the RSVP saves 100 pieces of paper and 100 envelopes. If you skip the whole invite, that is even more. If you are going that route, you can always do something simple like The Knot or wedding Jojo, or if you have the skills, pick something more open-ended, you techie you.

Arbor Day Foundation

Maybe you can't get your invites in these cards, but you could get your thank you cards there! It would be a simple way to have your wedding do some good- every card you buy will pay for a tree. So if you send 50 thank you cards, you also plant 50 trees. That's pretty amazing when you consider how many trees come down a year for wedding invitations.

Etsy

 We all knew I was going to end on this note, but do you know how many gorgeous invitation options you can find there? You can find one made in America (shorter trip, less fossil fuels, lower carbon footprint) and on recycled paper. We bought our invites on Etsy from someone in our state. We loved them so much, and because we were dealing with a real person,  I could just write her and we worked out tablenumbers too!You can also get printables and pick your own recycled cardstock. Here are a few to lust over, but your best bet is to write in "recycled wedding invitations and get to browsing. These are my favorites:

from Cricket Printing

from AMG Design Co

from Casey Snyder Design

from vohandmade

from Eco Weddigs by Cc

This is the tip of the iceberg- be sure to explore the links. I know when I was shopping, I looked for the perfect style that perfectly matched our colors and style and theme, etc etc. I did it, but I still wish I had prioritized differently. You can find that thing that is exactly what you want aesthetically, but we are asking you to This blog is suggesting that if you narrow the field to be "new tree free," you will end up something that may not be "perfect," but you will love it just as much, and you can feel really good about it.

Want more unique and Earth-friendly wedding inspiration?  Check out my Giant List of Shopping Lists!

If you like this post, please share it! This blog is all about making small changes. The more people who make these small shifts, the better the Earth will be!

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Little Green Dress- What Works to Wear While Nursing

While you are pregnant, you hear over and over that you look beautiful and that you are doing something miraculous. Fourth trimester, not so much. The only real impulse we see toward the fourth trimester is to render it invisible- the idea is that infant mothers should stay home, put their boobs away, and get back to their "pre-baby bodies" as quickly as possible.

Well, excuse me for existing. Let me just put on my invisibility cloak.

 If 4th trimester mamas have any kind of fashion profile, I would guess it is old pajamas with baby puke on it and unwashed hair. I can still remember going to our infant care class, and while watching the movie (made ten to fifteen years ago), being horrified at the ridiculous black hole of sexiness that were the women nursing. I mean, nipples take on a new role after you see them in a nursing diagram. Also, God bless all participants for being willing to be filmed in their sad pajamas. Now, the second time around, I know there is some truth to the horrors of the sad jammies, but not as much as you would think.

The fourth trimester is not the sad, banal pass through people make it out to be.

Women in their 4th trimester are still pretty damn miraculous. They made a person, they got that person out, and now their body is healing and changing all over again. Not to mention their body somehow can make enough food to be the only thing their baby needs to start their life. Did you know breast milk can actually help heal the baby? Forget hiding- those things deserve their own parade!

I don't want to spend the next six months feeling like a walking nipple diagram, and I am not going into hiding either.I have done this once already, and I know some of this is inevitable, but I don't think I spent those post-partum months looking like a dirty pile of laundry. That's just a bummer. I also don't want to leave my house looking like I am sleepwalking, even if that isn't that far from the truth.


With all of the writing on what to wear while pregnant, you can't find much at all about how to rock the new mom phase (true for non-nursers as well). I think the general sentiment is that it is ok to give up at this juncture, but I refuse! That being said, most of the last month and a half, I have looked like this:

The trick is to find a balance between that comfort/ convenience and to treat yourself as beautiful, because you still are. If pregnant bodies are beautiful and miraculous, so is the body you have now (maybe even more so).  I have learned some things  about what works for nursing and transitioning other than my eeyore pajama pants (super sad. also, I am wearing them as I write this). Nursing poses all sorts of challenges, so I would love to hear what works for you as well! These are my best tips for dressing in those first few months:

1. Thred Up is your New Best Friend- The first time around, I bought a pile of cheapo clothes from Old Navy in a larger size to get me through. It makes sense- your regular clothes and most of your maternity stuff won't work, but you will be back to something more familiar before you know  it, so why waste a bunch of money? A couple of reasons. First, the phase might go longer than you think (or you could be back here again), so the jeans I bought (and a few tops) fell apart so much that I can't use them again. Secondly, Old Navy's clothes are so cheap because they take advantage of cheap and unethical labor- it's just not worth it.

Instead, I highly recommend buying anything you need for this stage at the thrift store. Don't have a good one nearby? Or (more likely) don't have the time for excessive browsing now? Then try Thread Up. I bought every piece for this phase from them this time. I love what I got, it's well-made, it was cheaper than a lot of what I got last time, and I can feel alright if it comes to an untimely (or pukey) end. Fit is going to be a moving target anyway, so I highly recommend buying your new mom wear used,

2. Embrace the Button Up- In the previously mentioned nipple horror film, the new moms were whipping themselves out from the bottom of their shirts. I refuse to give gravity any help, so my boobs only travel upwards. Because of this, there are two options- low cut tops and button-ups. I also have ginormous unruly boobs, constantly trying to find my babies as if he is Sauron and they are the ring. So I have found Buttons are a nursing woman's best friend, that she can free herself in minutes while flashing slightly fewer people. So far, my favorites are long tunics with buttons and soft stretchy jeans or leggings. I even do dresses with buttons.



3. Belts- Yep, they still help. A good investment that can move through sizes with you. Waists are everyone's friend. Just make sure they are easy to get off so you can be comfy while nursing.

from https://www.etsy.com/transaction/238927482

4. Nursing Covers Masquerading as Scarves- Have you seen most nursing covers? They look like puppet theaters mated with seafood restaurant bibs.I don't want to fight with them,  but I would like there to be at least a few people on this Earth who I haven't flashed. Even just one. I found nursing covers on etsy that on first glance just look like infinity scarves but are big (and thin) enough to make really great covers. I also love these ones from Covered Goods, which have a little more stretch (perfect at certain moments).

Even though I am not new at nursing, the Baby Bear is, so I like being able to see him and help him.Plus, these minimize our baggage, which is the key to active and sane parenting. So, if I want to breastfeed in the middle of Seattle Center while eating a doughnut, I can.

5. Hats and Boots- I don't skip showers often, but they do sometimes land in the evening and both boys have  started his day by spitting up in my hair (and the Mom haircut suddenly makes sense). Hats really help cover that mess up. Both hats and boots can make any outfit look like you did it on purpose.In the right, I am literally wearing pajamas, but I look moderately functional, right?

 

5. Stepped Up Sweats- Modcloth has a series of sweater/ sweatshirts in a bunch of colors called Airport Greeting Cardigan that I swear was designed for nursing.  It has a nice drape so it looks more like you aren't wearing cozy home clothes, the zipper means you can get it off quickly (and it still looks nice open if you aren't quite there yet), and it fasten off the center of your body, so your spawn doesn't get uncomfortable zipper face. It's not cheap, but they always have it in some colors, and lower selling colors are often on sale. I got a charcoal one and liked it so much that The Boy got me an oatmeal one for Christmas.

 6. Long Tank Tops- The last thing you need to mess with when nursing is your butt hanging out. They can also be nice to just feel like everything is held in. I love the tank tops from M Rena; they are soft, extra long, and made in America! Nothing like a practical buy that helps an American business.

 7. Don't Be Too Quick to Turn in your Maternity Clothes- Everybody loses weight in different ways, and there is no shame in getting a little more of your money's worth out of what you bought before digging through what has long been put away. When planning for the fourth trimester, assume you will use the 2nd trimester clothes again (if you are really on point, buy pregnancy clothes that will work for nursing.

Both times in the first few weeks after the birth, I lost more than half of the weight I gained (we'll call this the Baby and Support chunk), the other bit didn't budge (I will guess that is the cookie weight, and it was worth it). This time, I know once I hit a certain point, the weightloss will be slow and just happen as I can be more active. It would be great to bounce back into my normal clothes, but that's fruitless energy to worry about. It turns out that my maternity jeans are way more kind to c-section scars, and a couple of my stretchy, buttoned maternity tops have been the best for yanking out the nunjas. I also like the feeling of my tummy being supported right now. I won't retire my maternity jeans for at least 3 to 5 months.

8. Bras make all the difference- Do not buy anything that looks less powerful than your regular bra. Medela and others sell "Night" bras that basically are built like a training bra. That's nonsense. I had one, it was horrible on all counts. Save your money.

Snaps in the straps (no one needs to struggle here), snaps in the back (don't fall for the sports bra business, because your boobs will resemble James's Giant Peach), and don't have an underwire (ow).  This has been the magic formula for me. I like Bella Materna bras, though I think most are imported now.

9. Maxi Dresses- Comfy and you look put together with minimal effort. I recommend wrap dresses for work or more formal events where your boobs still need an easy exit. I still wear my Breezy Night Stroll dress every week.

10. Bring Yourself a  Change of Clothes- Trust me. Just go get a dark colored maternity t shirt, put it in a bag with back ups for everyone else, and put it in the trunk of your car or basket of your stroller. You will get puked on. Just be prepared.

I hope this helps some poor souls like me who want the internet's help in strategizing their boob cover.  I know I said I am trying to avoid excuses, but if you just had a baby, you just had a freaking baby. If you aren't a celebrity who creepily bounces back into their bikini, or you have a colicky baby, or you just don't care, more power to you- you just had a freaking baby.

You aren't obligated to look pretty or disappear or do anything regarding your looks- you just had a baby for goodness sakes!

 The most important thing, I think, is not forgetting about yourself in all the craziness. I like putting a little thought into this, because it is easy for me to let self-care slide completely. Everybody gets through this phase in different ways, so I would like to hear your strategies!

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