How Do Christians Give Gifts at Christmas?

Today is Black Friday, and that supposedly means the beginning of the Christmas season. Really? A day of sales and crazy lines for printers and tv's is how we kick off our celebration of the birth of Jesus? If Jesus were alive today, do you think he would go to Walmart for that crazy deal? So why is this such a significant part of our Christmas?

Don't get me wrong. I love gift-giving. It is my love language, and honestly, I have bought and receivd some great gifts in my time. I take it seriously, because I really love to show people how much I care about them. I have family members who are ridiculously great gift givers.  But I can't figure out where the balance is between being a good Christian and really celebrating Christmas, and that seems like such a weird conflict to me. I would never ever suggest someone is a bad Christian because they buy a lot of gifts or because of where they buy them from, but I do think there are parts of these decisions that aren't often considered from a religious perspective, and maybe they could be.

Even though I write this blog, I find it easy to get caught up in the desire to buy great gifts, but the more I think about it, the more I question where the line is between gift-giving that brings people closer together and closer to God vs. gift-giving that really has lost the plot. This is a weirdly personal question, and I think the answer might be different for everyone, but I think it's a question worth asking.

This topic has been looming large in my mind the past few weeks- exactly how does our family celebrate Christmas in a way that is faith-based instead of revolving around commercialism? I mostly don't talk about my faith on this blog for a couple of reasons:

1. I make money off this blog (no, not a lot. So far, I have made a whopping 11 dollars) and I don't think Jesus or my relationship with him makes a good product or brand. I think there is a reason that Jesus got so angry when he saw people selling things in a temple. Christianity and commercialism don't mix that well in my opinion.

2. I don't think what I write about is exclusively useful to Christians. Or Liberals. Or environmentalists. The whole point here is that taking care of the Earth is everyone's task, and our over-consumption is everyone's problem. We may all come at it different ways or for different reasons, but changing our approach to material things is beneficial to anyone, no matter their walk of life or how seemingly small the step.

That being said, I do think first of my fellow Christians and my own lived faith this time of year.

And when did we start looking to businesses (whose primary goal by definition is to make money) to be arbiters of our faith? If this day is sacred to us, why would we want Starbucks to use it to sell more coffee? Why would we be so willing to see it sold out, but even worse, be offended when companies aren't using it to schlep cheap goods? Something is wrong here.

I will be honest with you. I am not throwing our Christmas tree away, and I will still be giving presents to loved ones in the next month. At the same time, I am ready to stop just talking the talk about what a shame it is that Christmas is so commercialized. It's time to make a change.

 I think it is time for some concrete goals. Read on if you are with me.

Why Do Christians Give Gifts?

Christmas gifts are important to Christians first because the three wisemen brought gifts for the baby Jesus when he was born. More symbolically still, the gifts refer to Jesus himself as a gift given to the world. In other words, our gifts are meant to mimic the amazing and miraculous gift-giving of God. Lucky for all of us, gifting is apparently His best love language.

The other symbols at Christmas spin off of these two themes. Santa Claus is a modern incarnation of Saint Nicholas, a 4th century Greek bishop who was known specifically for his generosity and giving. He gave to strangers, primarily, which resonates with the wisemen figures, who gifted to Jesus Christ, not to each other.

During the Middle Ages, the stocking tradition was tied to Saint Nicholas's name day, towards the beginning of December. He put gifts in their socks. During the reformation, Martin Luther tied this generosity to the gift of Christ, and Saint Nicholas moved his sock-filling a little later.

Gift giving has moved dates more than once too- because it was modeled after the wise men, some Christian traditions, especially Catholicism, gave gifts at or until Epiphany in Januray (ever wonder where the 12 days of Christmas comes from?).

The Christmas Tree is only about a thousand years old, but the fir tree was part of Pagan rituals before that. Now, it is said to symbolize everlasting life. Which is also a pretty massive present when you think about it.

So even Santa Claus, who often gets a bad rap as the stand in for all Christmas commercialism, ties right back to the gifts of the wisemen and the gifts of Jesus Christ. So this is a part of our tradition, but how does a few humble gifts in a sock turn into gift mountain?

So then, How much is too Much? 

Whatever I think is just enough, it should probably still be less than that. The story of St. Nicholas is about small gifts that make a big difference. The wisemen brought grand but also small gifts.

Right now, the average American parent spends 271 dollars a kid on Christmas gifts. We are in such a rush for our gift shopping that Black Friday is creeping into Thursday. When talking to kids about Christmas, the most commonly asked question is about what they want for themselves.

This obsession with buying gifts, so so many gifts, is costing us in so many ways.

Our generation works constantly to afford all the things we want, rather than spending time together.

Our committed searches for the best deals encourage companies to drop their standards around labor and materials. Jobs are outsourced to places where they can treat people badly. Tons of fossil fuels are  wasted needlessly so those slightly cheaper crayons can travel half way around the world.

I want to underline this again, other human beings also created by God and in His image are treated worse than we can imagine so we can get that cheap gift. In the past few years, it has come out that there are factories using child and slave labor. A factory making clothes for Walmart and other stores YOU shop from was in such poor conditions that a fire killed hundreds of people.

This is not a thing out there that some other mean person did. We helped in this, and we need to change it.

And it doesn't stop there. Those big piles of gifts cause other problems as well. Trees are being cut down at rapid rates when we need them most to keep our air clean and our temperatures down. Beaches are covered daily in garbage, like the plastic those cheap toys come wrapped in. Landfills are filling up and our children's water is being poisoned with plastic.

Now, if we see the planet as a beautiful gift from God, one of the best gifts He has ever given us, how does it make sense to celebrate a day praising Him by destroying his Earth? Or letting people he created be treated that badly? How is that good stewardship?

It would be comforting to feel like this is out of our control, but honestly, most of us are responsible.

Every time I buy something made in Elsewhere, I send the company the message I don't mind, so they will keep doing it. Everytime I buy some cheap piece of junk because it is on sale, I send the market the message that I care more about a good deal than quality or ethics. We are part of the problem, but that means we can be part of the solution too.

We as the body of Christ need to take steps to solve the problem. Now, this is all super depressing, which is the opposite of what you want to feel this time of year, but I think it has potential to be really great.

My suggestion? We start at Christmas. We start cutting down the gifts we buy. We look into more eco-friendly options for the gifts we do buy. This isn't about refusing gifts from others or judging how they live their lives, it's about self-assessing and finding a balance that feels right for each of us individually.

I have 3 new goals this Christmas to keep my giving in line with my faith and my charge to be a steward.

First, is to only buy things that I don't think are doing harm or dishonoring God. I will buy used to keep things out of landfills and to save money. When I have to get a gift new, I will buy things that are environmentally-responsible and made as locally as I can find.

Second, to cut down the number of gifts significantly. No gift mountain here.

Third, to introduce more traditions about giving outside of our household instead of within it. To make donating and giving a regular part of our holiday routine.

So how do We Change our Traditions? 

It's easy enough to say "We will buy less this year," but then the pile looks too small. Or the gifts don't seem quite even. Or it is just so fun to watch a toddler open a gift. I know for myself, it is so so easy to get carried away.

So the real answer is that a Christian Christmas tree can look any number of ways and that "too much" is so different for each person. It's subjective, and I honest to goodness am not out to judge people. Just to figure it out myself.

I have heard the "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read" idea, and it is a good idea for limiting gifting, but it doesn't have much to do with Christmas. I would make it the birthday rhyme, but we have already decided on one gift and one experience/surprise as our family's birthday formula (awesome and it works).

I read this suggestion on my minimalism and motherhood post, and I want to share it with you, because maybe a variation would be perfect for your family:

"About 8 years ago my sister and I started the tradition of giving our kids 3 gifts each. At my house Santa brings them, at my sister's Santa only fills their stockings and the gifts are from mom and dad.

The gifts each have a meaning correlating with the gifts that the wise men brought to Jesus.

The first gift is their GOLD gift. It is their biggest gift and may be expensive, but not necessarily. It can be the one thing they REALLY want or it can be chosen by the giver. It signifies how valuable they are to the family. It is wrapped in gold paper or has a gold bow on it.

The second gift is their FRANKINCENSE gift. Frankincense was sacred and burned exclusively in the temple. This gift should have something to do with how your child "meets" with God. We've given devotional books, worship CD's, even a pocket cross, or a book that teaches a moral lesson. Frankincense is a white substance, so this gift is wrapped in white paper.

The final gift is their MYRRH present. Myrrh is a resin that was used to scent oils and perfumes. It was also used in preparing bodies for burial, and has special symbolism since Jesus came to earth as a baby only to later die for our sins. It is dark earthy substance so it is wrapped in brown paper. This gift can be something they anoint their body with, like perfume or shower gel, or simply a gift for their body. In the past my kids have received clothing or something to help them keep their body in shape (like skates or anything that helps them be active).

My children LOVE this tradition. I hope it makes someone's Christmas more meaningful."

If you want to read her inspiration, check out this blog. A commenter said that they do a similar thing, gold is something they want, frankincense is something they need, and Myrrh is an experience.

I love this idea, and I especially love the symbolism of the three kings creating a more direct and thoughtful connection to the nativity story. It keeps the number really low, which is important to us (if you buy 3 gifts instead of 30, you can put more thought and money into each one) but it also makes the link between what we do and why we do it spiritual instead of cultural. It more clearly connects what we see at church with what we do at home.

I want to add one other thing to this. These kings came to give gifts to strangers from a foreign land with faith they were worthy of that love. I want to be much more generous about giving out this year, not just within our family but to people who really need it. I saw a tradition of a reverse Advent calendar, where everyday in Advent we add to a basket of items to be donated elsewhere. I think my goal is to spend more time on helping others than shopping.

How do you incorporate giving to others in your family?

How do you manage Christmas gifts at your house? How many presents is too many? Do you think about how the gifts were made or who made them? Has anyone been successful at instituting a smaller, more stewardship-oriented Christmas at their house?

Most importantly, what does being a Christian steward mean to you and how do you live that out at Christmas time?

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Green Christmas 2016: Let's Do This!

Yes, it is early to talk about Christmas.

No, I am not a person with their tree up already.

But this is a blog about living more, buying less, and spending our money on things that do some good. All of those concerns will loom large the next few months. Plus, etsy purchases can take time.

So, let's do this.

We as Christians love to bemoan the ways the Christmas message has been lost, and I can't help but agree. It has become about catching the biggest sale (ugh Black Friday- leave Thanksgiving alone!) and the visual affirmation of success through abundance. We want to see those piles under the tree, but why?

I know I love to see a mountain of presents under the tree- gifting is my love language, and I can't help but send the message "HOLY CRAP I LOVE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH" this time of year. I think that big pile can also tell people that they are doing ok, that they are providing, that their kids are happy, etc. When life gets hard, it can be a signal things can still be good. But as much as I get the instinct to celebrate this way, the way I see Christmas gifting is radically changing.

Our gifting mirrors the gifts of the Magi, but on a deeper level, it mirrors the gift God gave the Earth- his son! He did the ultimate good for the world by giving this gift, and I truly believe we should try to model our gift giving after this. Instead of looking for a deal or making sure each child has an equal pile of goodies, could we ask "How will this gift do good?"

A gift that does good changes the criteria from which we make our choices- it's no longer "will he like it?" or "will this be enough?" or "can I find this cheaper?"

Shopping to do good means paying attention to how the object was made- "was the person who made it treated with respect?" It can also refer to how it was sold- "does buying this help my community?" It could be about the environment- "Does this gift create more waste for landfills or use a ton of energy getting here?" By paying attention to these issues, we shift our gifting paradigm, and we can make a profound difference in this world and in our families.

Consumerism in America is out of control. In 2012, they estimated an average American spends 846 dollars on gifts for Christmas. That's a ton of money! This means, Christmas is one of the most important times to think about making a positive difference with your shopping. People have too much stuff already, and it takes away from our lives. It also destroys our landscape. Our gifts create landfill waste and use tons of fossil fuels. Committing to buying less but better, less plastic, practical, and more local gifts can change the world. Especially if we all make this change.

Your shopping can do good if you think about it this way- 

We often hear cliched statements about how Christmas isn't about gifts or spending, but that is honestly easier said than done. This blog aims to give some actual strategies about how to make Christmas great without so much stuff.

Buy Less. Don't buy 3 cheap gifts. Buy 1 good one. Don't get stuck with that picture of the tree in your head, and spend money on non-physical gifts like gift cards for dinner out or tickets for a cool experience. Make something yourself.

Buy Used. Fight the stigma against used items. You can find an amazing pair of boots or kitchen items at a steal just by starting at consignment shops first. Check you Buy Nothing Project. Look for toys or items that use post-consumer recycled materials.

Buy Local, Buy American. Support your community and your country by shopping at locally-owned stores instead of Walmart and Made in America items instead of things made elsewhere.

Is local and American more expensive? Yep. But if you buy fewer gifts and fill in the blanks with used items, it can add up to about the same. You are just spending your money in a different way.

This is a huge commitment, but you can break it into sizes that don't overwhelm.

I am not suggesting you have to do this for every gift (even though it would be cool if you did). Make a plan, make a list, and figure out which things you can do this for. You can even think about how to change what you ask for when people ask. This is all about baby steps, and if you think about it at all, then that is pretty damn awesome.

You could try making part of your gift this year. Or just start your shopping at local businesses and thrift stores. You could rethink what you really need and will ask for yourself. Every Christmas season, we shell out oodles of money to buy gifts for all our loved ones. If we all did commit 100 dollars to local businesses, or things manufactured in America, or recycled/ used gifts, we could make a HUGE difference!

So the blog in November and December is all about inspiring a new approach to Christmas shopping. One where we can finally accept it really is the thought that counts, not the money spent.

Most importantly, this is totally doable. I am going to post more friends and family wishlists (throwbacks from last year and new ones- people send me your lists!), so you can see that you can get almost anything recycled or Made in America. I am going to post ideas of how to wrap in a more eco-friendly way (how can we wrap creatively to make the wrapping part of the gift?), and even more stocking stuffers Made in America (therefore, using so much less fossil fuel!). I am going to research Christmas pajamas and where you can get local, American-made candy all over this country. I have some awesome Etsy lists for you (I do love some Etsy).

Now, I know my Dad is pulling his hair out at the thought of me writing these Christmas lists through 2 months (he hates the skip over Thanksgiving), but hear me out. I cannot in good conscience encourage last minute Etsy shopping, because that is a fool's game. When you are buying things from people, not giant corporate machines, sometimes part of what you are investing in is a slower  process. It does not mean that you should let consumerism take over your season starting today, and PLEASE save the Christmas music until after Thanksgiving!

I am also really into the idea of giving as a family tradition, so look out for Advent giving plans and ideas of where and what to donate this Christmas (some of the big organizations, like Operation Christmas Child, have major problems, but that doesn't mean they all do).

So, join me in setting some new goals this Christmas- if you care about stewardship and you want to make your Christmas about more than sales at the mall, resolve to only buy things Made in America or fair-trade.

If you care about the environment, think about how you can create less waste this season! There are so many great ideas out there.

The amazing thing is, if you care about one of these things, you will make a positive change for all of them. If a company cares about these things, not just about making the most money possible, they often attend to other ways to do good as well. Putting your money there sends mainstream companies the message that if they want your money, they have to do better too, which is a pretty awesome message for us to send (over and over).

You don't have to make it impossible for yourself, just join me in trying to do better this Christmas. And let me know about what you are finding, what you are looking for, and what purchases you are most excited about!

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Green Christmas: 10 Awesome Gifts that Don't Take Up Any Room Under the Tree

Oh who doesn't love the look of a Christmas tree just bursting with gifts underneath? It feels good to see that symbol of abundance and that physical manifestation of love on Christmas morning. I know I really love a good Gift Mountain. I do. Not facetious at all, it makes me so happy to give gifts.

That being said, how many of the gifts you received last year can you name? And how many gifts get returned or never quite find use in the course of the year? Probably at least a few! We give so many gifts this time of year, but if you are looking to get the most for the biggest deal, you are doing harm. Americans have so much stuff, and we are creating tons of waste. 85 million tons of textile waste. Plastic that is overrunning the ocean. Encouraging inequality and the mistreatment of other. If Jesus came to save the world, why are we celebrating him by destroying it?

I would never knock gift-giving as a practice, but I do think there are lots of gifts we could be giving that don't take up more room in our homes and under our tree. Giving gifts that don't take up space can sometimes be the best ones, and they can help us take care of what we already have rather than adding to piles that can become hard to manage. These gifts might not fill up the tree space as much, but I think they are gifts that your loved ones will be so much more likely to remember.

What non-material gifts are you giving this year? I am excited to be buying our niece piano lessons with a few books. All of our siblings are getting experiences instead of stuff. It's a trend I am excited about, even if we don't have the big gift-opening moment on Christmas morning. That's two minutes. I want to get gift that make memories that will last.


So here are my best ideas- what are you getting this year that you don't have to wrap

1. Netflix Subscriptions- Rather than buying someone a stack of movies this Christmas, what about getting them the fancy dvd level membership to Netflix? Even pay for their streaming for them! It is a little steep, maybe their whole gift for the year, but it creates a lot less waste to borrow than to own!

2. Quality Time- Rather than getting a family or couple more stuff, look up an event calendar for their town and think about if you could get them tickets to a cool activity they would enjoy. For example (and sorry, Shell, I didn't go for it and I should have), I saw tickets for sale to go see/ ride on Thomas the Tank Engine that would have been so fun for my sweet cousin's toddlers and their whole family. If you can fund a new experience or a family memory, that can make a great gift!

For the Bub's birthday, we bought him one gift. One. Instead, we took him to see Daniel Tiger Live as a family, and he was so into it! My goal is to manage birthdays this way forever- one gift, one experience, and one party. I love the memory of going there with him, and it won't add to the collection of toys we seem to always be fighting back.

If you don't have kids to shop for, this still works. Try concert tickets or season tickets to something. Give a gift card for a trip you know they are saving for.

3. Handy Help- Taking a page from Luke on Gilmore Girls, you could give "coupons" for help getting something checked off a loved one's to do list. Not handy yourself? You could try buying your loved one a few hours of handyman or cleaning person time. I have given this gift, and not to toot my own horn (toot toot), but I think it is basically the best gift ever. Let's face it, adulthood is the worst, and it gets so old to have a neverending to do list for your home. Blech.

You can get a loved one a little help fixing that vent or ceiling, or hanging that molding, or building that closet organization, or whatever other nonsense just never quite gets done because it sounds horrible and people are super busy. One of the greenest things we can do is take care of what we have so we don't need to buy a new one, so this might be the ticket for someone you care about.

4. Food- Take someone a lasagna or pot pie or something they can stick in their freezer, not under the tree. Much like house repairs, cooking can be a real pain in the bumper this time of year. It can really help someone out. If you aren't sure what to make, but you want to give more practical gifts, you could also stock a pantry or buy them all (recycled) paper goods (I love this idea- a year's worth of paper towels sounds so lame, but it is kind of awesome actually).

5. Date Night- A gift card for a night out is not exactly new territory, but it's a classic for a reason. People love to eat out, and this gives them a good reason to go do it!

6. A Museum Membership- If your giftee lives near a museum (or zoo? or theater? science center?), a membership could be a great gift! It basically gives them a constant reason to go visit, and members at many museums have access to activities and events they may not otherwise. Perfect for an art lover, animal lover, or just someone who loves to learn. Also great for stay at home parents, as most of these places have weekday activities that cater to small children and their adults.

7. Donating to a Charity in their Honor- For that person who really does have everything, and they really don't want any more stuff. You can find charities that give ornaments or calendars in return for a donation if you want to give them a little token, but I think this would be so cool. If we all put 100 dollars of our Christmas shopping money directly into charities, we could make a huge difference in the world!

This one feels even more relevant than it did a year ago. We need to support organizations fighting for our environment and for human rights. You could also support efforts to help in Syria or even "adopt" a refugee family in their honor. So many options here, so think about what matters most to them.

8. A Visit from a Cleaning Service- Do you know someone with small children? Stop! Do not buy them another baby thing,

Get them a few visits from a cleaning service. You will be their favorite person forever.

This could probably work for all sorts of people, but parents of babies will love you the most, and that's the point of Christmas, right?

Check with them first; no reason to offend anyone. If you don't have much money, but you have some serious cleaning skills, this is a gift that could cost you 0 dollars.

9. Lessons- The Boy and I talk about getting cooking and dancing lessons all the time, but we have never gone for it. If you know someone has debated it, this might be the perfect way to help the person you love finally take the leap. Swimming lessons might be cool for kids too. The community college near us has a super interesting catalog of night classes, so be sure to check out what is near you too!

10. Massages- I think massages are a little awkward, but not everyone is as wimpy as me. A massage might really make their day. We did this for my brother and sister in law last year as a kind of date? Wow, that sounds awkward to me, but you go ahead and go for it, because we aren't all pasty blogging dorks.

What non-material gifts have you bought for someone?

Some of these are a little steep- I am a big supporter of going in with others to buy gifts! If we all focus on quality and not quantity, I think we can shift our paradigm on Christmas and consumption, focusing more on what really matters and less on stuff! Who can't get behind that?

If you are looking for more shopping inspiration, check out my Giant List of Shopping Lists!

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Eco-Friendly Christmas Cards

the card is from etsy and the picture is from the amazing and talented Jenny GG

At this moment in the year, we start shopping for our Christmas card. Many of us send each other Christmas cards to wish friends peace and joy, to celebrate the holidays, and to show off their family in totally not posed pictures of family togetherness. I can joke, but I am as guilty as anyone of sending these cards and being so happy to receive them. It is equally nice to be wished happiness and to see how happy people I care about are. Christmas cards may be cheesy, but they are also awesome.

Even better, if you are trying to have a more eco-friendly holiday season, then the Christmas cards create a pretty obvious opportunity to make some positive changes! This is an opportunity to save trees, that keep our Earth cooler, our air cleaner, and our view prettier.

Think about how many trees must go down for all that holiday cheer in the mail- probably more worth it than the trees that come down for toilet paper. But if you can celebrate the holidays by being a steward and preserving God's creation, why wouldn't you do it? If the holiday really isn't about consumerism, we need to approach it with the spirit of stewardship first.

I know I as a Christian think even more about my role as a steward this time of year- how can I approach giving gifts in a way that pleases God? If giving gifts to each other is a symbolic repetition of God giving us the gift of his son, how can we do it in a way that takes care of his creation? Those questions resonate even when the gift is as small as a card.\

If you want to be a good steward this Christmas, recycled cards make so much sense. You can save trees from being cut down while still sending your love to others. The answer here is simple, though it might cost you more money.

The good news? Recycled card options are EVERYWHERE, they just may not be where you would look first. Skip Shutterfly and Tiny Prints. Tiny prints weirdly comes up when you search for eco-friendly Christmas cards, but they aren't, so that is an infuriating scam. They don't use any recycled paper as far as I can see. That being said, so many other places do.

Let's do this, people! Enough of these virgin tree shenanigans:

Green Field Paper Co

Green Field Paper Co is now my first stop for paper good browsing. Not only do they have great designs, they also feature more types of eco-friendly statonary than anyone. When you see just how many creative and eenviromentaly responsible options are out there, it's hard not to question why all paper companies don't try this route.My favorite- cards specifically made out of recycled junk mail! That is genius. All the other cars need to step it up. They also have plantable cards, ornaments, and gift cards (these are made of recycled paper and have seeds in them- bonus, they are all made in San Diego). Seriously, look here before you buy a box of cards anywhere else.

Paper Culture

Paper Culture is another gem- a perfect first stop if you want a cheesy/wonderful photo card (don't be ashamed; I love them too). Paper Culture recognizes their carbon footprint, and they try to offset it by using 100% post-consumer paper for their cards and by planting a tree for every order they sell. The Arbor Day Foundation does it for every card (so significantly more depending on your order), but these cards gave a little more design to them and have photocard options, so they may better fit your vision. Their designs vary from bright and busy to minimalist and chic, so you are sure to find something you like. Plus, they don't cost any more than those photo cards from Tiny Prints. How did we not all know about this before?!

Minted

 I have a lot of loyalty for Minted cards; we got our save the dates and birth announcements from them, and their cards always look great and modern. They are pretty comparably priced to Tiny Prints, just a little more expensive, but they offer 100% recycled paper for 15 dollars more. To me, that's worth it, and I will just buy fewer cards to cover the cost.

 Arbor Day Foundation

The Arbor Day Foundation sells 100% recycled "Give a Tree" paper cards as a fundraiser. Every card you buy puts money towards planting trees, so not only are you preventing more trees from coming down, you are also helping plant more! I love this idea so much, though I can't really say that the designs are anything to get excited about (some designer- volunteer your time). Definitely less stylish, but think, if you did this every year at Christmas, how many trees you could help plant in a lifetime. What a sweet addition to your holiday traditions.

Etsy

We all knew I was going to say it- you still have time to buy your cards from etsy, so you can start with this search to find eco-friendly options on there as well.

A Few Other Thoughts to Keep Things Eco-Friendly (No matter where you buy)

Skip the Foil- Foil pressed cards are really pretty, and they are super popular right now. Skip them. You can't recycle them and they won't biodegrade.

Buy Less- Pick a smaller than regular number to send and just don't send them to those people on the list that feel like a stretch. It can make a big difference to just cut down your numbers to the people you really care about.

Above all, Save the Trees- With so many recycled paper options out there, it really doesn't make sense to send a card on virgin tree paper.

That's it! Christmas is kicked off and I will have a ton of ideas for how to make tiny changes to your Christmas plans that will have a big impact on the Earth. Have specific questions? Let me know and we will try to address them. In the meantime, check out the Christmas lists from last year on The Giant List of Shopping Lists.

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Five Favorite Etsy Stores- Christmas Ornaments

I want to keep highlighting amazing makers in the US, and I feel like my Etsy links can get caught in the more mainstream shuffle. So starting a series to focus on the greatest stuff we have found. 

from Fancy Face Studios

I love Christmas ornaments. We don't buy anything big when we go on trips, but we always bring home an ornament for our tree. I love receiving and giving them as gifts, because it can be thoughtful, special, and packed away for a good chunk of the year (rather than adding to the clutter). Etsy has a seemingly endless supply of cool ornaments that would make great gifts. These are some of my favorites.

Naya Studio (Colorado) uses reclaimed wood to make these sweet little Christmas trees.

Cardboard Safari (Virginia) mostly sells cardboard animal busts but their christmas pinecones out of recycled cardboard are beautiful. One of my favorite Christmas ornaments anywhere.

Drops of Color Shop (Texas) makes the cutest mobiles, but they put their felty genius to use for Christmas ornaments. So sweet and bright, we have made our own felt ornaments, but these are way better.

Schemata (New York) has gorgeous glass ornaments that look so special and colorful. These glass balls were actually one of my first Etsy purchases (the beginning of an addiction for sure).They remind me of maps of a planet I have never been to. I thought they made great gifts, so maybe you will too.

Ornaments 4 Charity (Nebraska) makes lego ornaments, which you can find plenty of on Etsy. What makes these so special is that they are the product of one family, and 100% of the proceeds go to helping women and children in domestic violence centers. The whole family does the work together just to help others around Christmas. How awesome is that!?


Want more links to awesome ornaments? Can do! 2 Chicks and a Basket, Tuscany Creative, Pegasus Parchments, Smiling Tree Toys, Just 4 Christmas, Reclaim the Shed, Nestled Pine Woodworks, Taco Explosions, A Heirloom, MC Wonderland, Little Celandine, artcrafthome,

Want even more eco-friendly and local shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Ethical and Eco-Friendly Shopping Lists. 

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Ten Ideas for Raising a Minimalist Kid

I want my children to have less than I did.

I know this sounds crazy. Who says that? The American Dream includes the idea that we all give our children more than we had. If we are good parents, we dream for abundance for our children. That if we are doing things right, our children have more than we had.

What happens if we want our children to have less?

At the very least, I want my children to have less stuff.

I don't think I have fewer dreams for my children than any other generation of parents did, and I do want them to have more in some ways- more adventures, more stability, more sushi than I did, but I think in the long run, we will do our children a tremendous service if they have less possessions, less spacious living, less baggage.

Before you get offended on my lovely parents' behalf (I am grateful for my upbringing and my husband's), hear me out. We are offered so many conveniences and gadgets to help manage our life, but those conveniences come at a deep cost that our children and grandchildren will have to pay.

-Too much costs our kids their healthy food and water. The (then still relatively new) disposable diapers our parents used for us 20 or 30 years ago still have 400 years on this planet, in the landfills and soil our children will eat from and the water they will drink. These options are way more prominent now- those HORRIBLE snack pouches can't be recycled, so you have saved 3 minutes now, but that pouch will outlive your grandkids. Not actually that great a deal.

- Too much costs our kids the environment. The plastic toys we played with will also outlive our children, and how many do you really remember? Why not only get used or recycled plastic toys for our kids?

- Too much costs our kids their future jobs. Because the market creates a demand for LOTS of toys (more toys is better than better toys), parents are looking for toys that are cheap. To make cheap toys, mainstream companies like Fisher Price and Melissa and Doug make all their toys in China. Those cheap toys mean someone is treated badly, fossil fuels are completely wasted in shipping, and more American jobs that can't compete with the prices fold. So fewer American jobs.

-Too much costs our kids their own happiness. Overconsumption when they are kids set them up for unhealthy habits through adulthood. If something breaks, replace it instead of fix it. More will make you happier (it's proven it never does). We all have to ask when these piles of stuff stop helping us and instead weigh us down.

- Too much costs our kids their time with us. It's well-documented that new American parents are pretty miserable. Some of these problems- like a cultural lack of a support system- can't be solved this way, but other's can. On average, our generation of parents lives in 1000 square foot larger homes than our parents did. What are we doing with all that space? And think of how much time all that extra space (and stuff that fills it) takes- we have to clean all of that! And if you have a toddler, you know life is like 80% cleaning. If we live in smaller spaces, our houses may not scream abundance and variety, but we win a lot of time back to just spend with our kids.

This dream of bigger and better keeps us working that much harder to just survive, when just surviving can be hard as it is. I see these beautiful pictures of children's spaces that look modern and pristine, not overun with toys, books, and clothes. I don't think my house will ever be that minimalist, and I am certainly still new at this. But the idea of effectively giving my children less has been on my mind a lot (especially as I fight the instinct to buy leading up to the birth of my second), so I thought I would share the ideas I have had.

1. Say Goodbye to Cable

Enough opinions are floating around about screen time (it rots your kids' brain vs. screenphobia is just the latest stand against Stay at Home Moms), but my beef isn't with a screen. Pick the amount of screen time that works for your family, Netflix it up, but stay away from media with ads. When you have cable, or you are watching any programming directed at children, you need to weed out these overstimulating and overpromising snippets.

Ads are designed to send a constant message- you aren't enough, you don't have enough, and that you won't be happy until you have this thing.

This is a pretty dangerous game of desire for anyone, much less kids. And before you roll your eyes and think your child is above it, just remember that these people really, really know what they are doing. They get degrees in how to send that message. They do research on how to do it most effectively. They get paid millions of dollars to do it. This is a serious business, and they are good at it. But, there is no law saying your kid needs to watch things that tell them what they want. You get to choose what normal is, and do your kids a favor by keeping cable out of your home.

2. Just Stay Away from the Toy Section

In the same way, kids can't want every toy on the shelf if they don't know what is on the shelf. Stay out of the toy sections of most stores, and they won't know every little thing that is out there. Will this save you from the occasional tantrum in the grocery store? Nope. Does it mean your child will never want toys they see at friends' houses? Nope. Is this guaranteed to save you from Elsa or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Nope. But it does make wanting stuff less a part of their regular life.

When we are at Goodwill, I will let my son pick out one thing to take home. Anywhere else, he can look, even touch, but nothing is coming home with us. The less time we spend in Target's toy aisles, the less I have to have this fight.

3. Slow Your Roll Out

My sister in law taught me this, and it is genius. When her son would get a giant pile of loot from a birthday or Christmas, she just packed a bunch back up and gave them out when he seemed bored with the last thing. After Christmas, let 2 or 3 gifts stay out, and everything else goes into storage. As the previous gifts wear out (over weeks and months), another new object can come out.

We love that feeling of abundance, that fantasy of the super full Christmas tree, but gifting that way isn't very practical and the kids can't appreciate it anyway.

Kids can only process so much at a time, so those big gift mountains seem cool, but lots of toys get lost in the shuffle. Most children do get sick of things. Instead of constantly needing new toys, you just use what they were already gifted and Christmas last much longer! Our son is too little to know the difference, and we can make one holiday last for months.

from Mum in the Madhouse

4. Make Giving a Family Tradition and Habit

At Christmastime, many families have an advent calendar with treats inside. What if this year, each member of your family gave one thing away every day in Advent. You could do it for Lent too! To teach your kids about taking better care of the Earth, you have to illustrate the act of giving. Let them pick toys to gift.every day during the holiday season, then go together as a family to give it away. Have your spring cleaning tradition include a big family day where you drop things off and donate things to charities. Let them participate with you on Buy Nothing once a month. Pick what works for you, but pick something and include your little ones.

 I whole-heartedly believe that we have to model the behavior we want to see from our children, so if you want them to be generous (and non-materialistic), then you have to make giving a regular part of life. It well help your house stay cleaner, help them assess what they really care about, and in the end could be such a fun tradition!

5. Clean Out the Toys and Clothes Every 3-6 Months and Give a Third Away

 Even two years in, I can see how quickly the toy collection flies off the rails.You receive gifts from grandparents or hand me downs from friends, and the pile gets bigger. Man, they can take over everything! The key is not only to buy less, but to clean out more, so get in there and send things off that never clicked with your kid.

Right now, The Bub is too little to really understand what is going on when I do this, but he is always present, and someday he will just think it is normal. It's not about throwing things away, it's about sharing with other people who might enjoy it more. I have gotten some of his favorite toys at Goodwill or on Buy Nothing, so I think it is my responsibility to keep putting back into these resources as well.

6. Don't Buy More Storage, Cut Out Stuff

It can be so tempting when the toys are taking over to think of more storage solutions. I get that, and I am not saying we don't have a plastic tub of toys in the basement, but before you get another toy box, book shelf, or hot wheels shelf, why not just give things away? To have a house that makes sense, you need places for everything to go. If you no longer have enough destinations for toys, maybe there are too many toys. If you have so much storage that your kid can't see all of their toys in a day, you probably have more than they need.

passed to us by a neighbor, passed on to a third child in the neighborhood

7. Swap, Borrow, and Get it Used

The difference between a minimalist lifestyle and a house full of toys is seeing possessions as temporary. Join a library and you always have a resource for new books (and a place to connect with other moms and kids). Join your local freecycle or Buy Nothing groups, you can pass kids stuff around. Just ask friends if they want to do book or toy swaps to switch things up in your house.

 I feel like as kids, we treated our toys and collections like they were essential parts of our identities, and it made it hard to let them go even as adults. But your kid can still love Frozen without having every Elsa and Anna item in the world (is that even possible? God bless Disney and their marketing genius). Only a few things can be precious, everything else should be moved around before it sticks to a spot on the shelf.

Every parent of a toddler is constantly encouraging them to share (it's tough!), but this is a way to push that a step further, treating sharing as a part of life.

8. Have Confidence They Have Enough

This is easy to say but so hard to feel. Parents right now are under constant pressure about how they manage their kids, their time, their money, everything. We can look around and see someone else who is doing a better job in various ways. We feel self-concious because that Stay at Home mom gives them so much time (and loves to talk about it). We feel frustrated because we can't give our kids everything they want. We try to compensate by giving little gifts because we can see how happy it makes our kids, even for a second.

We have to have confidence we are giving our kids what they need. Parenting is so tough, because success can me so hard to define or measure- how do you ever know if you are doing alright? Sometimes shopping is as much about ourselves as our kids, because we can at least feel certain we are providing. A bigger house or well-dressed kid makes us feel like we are filling their needs well, not just enough.

But you are doing more than enough just by caring. There isn't a void that you need to fill. It's a cliche, but your kid really does just want to be with you. Go to a playground instead of a store, and you will give them something worth remembering. Get clothes and toys used and save your money. Your kid doesn't know the difference, and you just have to keep building yourself up that you are  doing great at this job just by caring and getting in there. I don't know how to build this confidence more other than reminding ourselves, but it's a constant battle we need to fight. Buying mostly doesn't make us do a better job, but getting in there does.

9. Use What You Have

We all know kids love cardboard boxes, but it is amazing how far you can make one cardboard box go for play time. Blanket forts make amazing memories too, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.

At my job, people donate all sorts of objects that could be "art supplies" for a shopping space and classes for kids. This includes baby food jars, toilet paper rolls, flooring samples, jewelry boxes, gift wrap, broken crayons- all kinds of stuff we tend to see as junk and throw away. But you reframe that for a kid (turn the jewelry box into a robot, use the toliet paper rolls to make fireworks, make a "home" for a stuffed animal), and you can provide hours of entertainment, conversation, learning, and creativity. This isn't conjecture, it is my job and I see it all the time. Junk, when mixed with creative framing, is always an opportunity. Need a rattle? Clean and fill an old bottle with beans.

 That kind of creative play isn't always easy to come up with, so thank goodness we live in the time of pinterest. You can find so many ideas on there.

10. Slow it Down and Just Be Together

I know I am so guilty of this one. As an introvert parent of an extreme extrovert, I often feel desperate for a minute to just catch my breath (or check my email), and some days I know I don't enjoy the time with my kid as much as I should. I feel sometimes like toys are partially just tools to give parents a minute.

Whenever an older generation parent tells me "Oh it goes so fast," I try hard not to roll my eyes. Really? Because this sleep deprivation is making everything move in slow motion.

But there is a lot of wisdom in the suggestion to let things go and slow down to our kids' speed. It doesn't mean we don't get those minutes or that we don't deserve a break while working and parenting, but when you are going to be there, really be there.

 The Bub and I have literally spent hours (this week) playing with a baseball hat and a pair of kitchen tongs. Even with older kids, you don't need many objects to have a perfectly great time. Go for a walk. Go to a playground. Just listen to them. Children are just tiny human beings, and they just want heard like everyone else. A game of tag (or robot tag) can be more fun than any toy, so the more you can focus when the quality time comes, the fewer things you need.



So there you have it, buy less and give more. Change the goals and you may just raise kids who aren't as caught up in this consumerist minefield we are all trying to navigate right now. We both know it creates a lot more work, a tremendous number of problems, and very little of the happiness or solutions that we are constantly promised. We can protect our children's futures from waste and from that constant want by shifting our attitudes now. Let's give ourselves a freaking break and give our kids less.

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Green Christmas 2015: The Mission-Driven Girl's Wishlist

Our next Christmas Shopping Wishlist is from my cousin Rochelle! Shell is the kind of person who is always trying to do better and make the world better for the people around her. She loves to tell a story, and she has a lot of compassion for others. Not surprisingly, when I asked her to write me a Christmas list, she went above and beyond what I asked! 

In Rochelle's own words:

"I chose to focus on social responsibility instead of eco-friendly companies because the social responsibility was more important to me and I found that in most cases a company that practices social responsibility was also environmentally responsible but the reverse was not always the case.  Specifically, I wanted to find companies or stores that have a mission-minded focus.  I want the purchases I make to really mean something.  Not everything on this list will be mission-focused, but I think you’ll find that a lot of them practice some kind of mission."

Shelly made a list of things she wanted for Christmas:

Pajamas 

Candles

Clothes

Long Sleeve Shirts

Make-Up

Wedges

Rochelle had really awesome ideas for where to get these things, so I am going to let her do most the talking and just add a few thoughts of my own onto the end of each item.

I love that she adjusted her list to address the issues that matter the most to her- you should do that too! Think about how your gifts can do more than just get someone another thing. I am in love with her list, so I hope you love it too! 

from Sudara

from Sudara

1. Punjammies – "Every year my mom gets each of us Christmas pajamas that we open on Christmas Eve.  Usually she picks out sets from Kohls or the Gap (I usually pick out my own because I’m weirdly picky about my pajamas).  This year as I started to dig into various companies and social responsibility I found these pajamas and I am in love with them! 

Punjammies are made by a company called Sudara (www.sudara.org) in India.  The women who work for this company are rescued from the sex trade in India and provided housing and education for both themselves and their children.  You can order these adorable clothes direct from their website and styles are available for women, men, and children.  Women’s pajama bottoms run about $45 and that cute India shirt is about $35.  That is only about $20 more than an equivalent sleep set from Gap."

My thoughts- Gah! These pajamas are definitely awesome, and price wise, they are about the same as anything I have found Made in America. Our family does Christmas Ever pajamas too, and I think you could cut down the price slightly by doing Punjammies pants and get a basic (but ethical!) shirt from American Apparel or another Made in America company. Bed Head makes their pajamas in the US as well.

from Kristin Schmucker Shop

2. Candles– "I have been following Kristin Schmucker Shop on Instagram for nearly 2 years and I love pretty much everything in it.  Last year they added these adorable candles to the shop and I remember her posting a picture of her kitchen completely covered in mason jar candles – she makes these all in her own home! The candles are hand-poured with 100% natural soy wax from soy grown in the Midwest.  How cool is that?! And, they’re only about $11 on sale right now!"

My thoughts- Candles are an awesome thing to change course on, and they certainly make great gifts. Smelly candles are often made with paraffin that comes from petroleum! Boo! Using more sustainable materials (like soy or bee's wax) is better for your household and for the world (funny how often those go hand in hand).

Shelly didn't even mention my favorite thing about these candles- they have really pretty calligraphy on them (that seems to be Kristin's primary business) with bible verses. So awesome. If you are looking for other candle options, we are trying Eco Candle and Our Own Candle Company candles. I like the Tiger Mountain Farms beeswax candles and Silver Dollar Candle Co, but my absolute favorites are from Etta Arlene.

from Altar'd State

3. All the clothes from Altar’d State – "I love this store.  Like, I really, really love this store.  I started shopping here about 4 years ago.  My mom bought me my first two items right after I found out I was pregnant with my son and was tired of how bloated I looked (I show about 0.045 seconds after a positive pregnancy test – don’t tell me that I can wear my normal clothes well into the second trimester).  The long cardigan she bought me that day I still have and it is just now started to have a well-worn look.  Plus, it has adorable buttons on the cuffs.  Since then I’ve only bought a couple of items because, to be honest, the clothes are a little pricier than I usually buy.  All of that is seriously changing because  I’m no longer a “fast fashion” consumer and because I realized at the end of the summer that when I wanted to look super cute or put together I absolutely always reached for the two shirts I bought at Altar’d State at the beginning of the summer.

I can’t tell you that absolutely every item made in their store is socially responsible, but they do have certain stamps they put on some items that say “gives back” when the item is a part of their philanthropy program or the vendor is a partner in philanthropy.  This store donates 1% of all sales to local and international charities and they fund employee volunteer hours each month.  And their clothes are freaking cute.  Like, I seriously do want almost all of it.  These 3 tops were each about $40-$60 and the jeans are about $70, so like I said, it’s pricey.  But they last forever so they are great options for anchor pieces in your wardrobe.  The store also has great sales – I got 2 tops at the beginning of the summer for a grand total of $50 and I’m super sad that I can’t figure out how to make them work for winter."

My Thoughts- Altar'd States are all over the Southeastern region, but still remain pretty regional (you can shop from them online). But Shelly's love for them has inspired another Christmas season resolution: we should all take a second to explore a local shop. You know that one store that you walk by but haven't ever gone in? Time to check it out. There are small businesses all over the place that employ our neighbors and often have more priorities than "make more money, get bigger." But you don't know if you don't look, so let's all make a resolution to explore somewhere small before heading somewhere big.

from Krochet Kids

4. The Marni Long Sleeve Shirt from KrochetKids – "Okay, this company is pretty incredible (and they are a vendor partner with Altar’d State!).  This company was started by three guys who were best friends in high school and all learned to crochet.  They started making beanies to sell to locals in their mountain community in Spokane, WA.  Some friends and family eventually encouraged them to teach people in developing countries to crochet as a means of escaping poverty.  They now have over 150 people in Uganda and Peru  who are working, receiving education, and being mentored toward a sustainable future.

What’s even cooler is that each item is signed by the person who made it and you can go to their website and write them a thank you note!"

My Thoughts- Super cool! I love their hashtag #knowwhomadeit.  We bought the bub a hat from them, and it is well-made enough to stand up through way more toddlers. 

from Sephora

5. Colorscience Makeup – "So I heard about this brand thanks to an impulse decision to follow Kaley Cuoco on Instagram.  Evidently this is the make up they use on the set of The Big Bang Theory (sorry, Barbara, I still love it).  This makeup is different for a number of reasons and costs about the same as any department store makeup.  I can’t tell you better than they can, so here is a quote from their website: “Made from 100% healthy, high-integrity minerals, pigments and nourishing ingredients, including antioxidants, peptides, breathable zinc and titanium dioxide. You might have heard or read that we’re doctor approved. This is completely true. We are, in fact, doctor-recommended all over the country.”  It’s makeup that’s actually good for you!

They also have a give back program called “Sunstoppable” with which they teach healthy sun habits.  They also partner with the Women’s Dermatologic Society and the Skin Cancer Foundation to raise awareness about the need for kids’ sun protection during recess and outside playtime.

Their “Everything Matte” set helps give you a shine-free complexion and the whole set will run you $162.40.  I spent about $200 on a similar beauty routine from Clinique last year."

My Thoughts- Awesome! I am currently on a mission to use up my giant archive of make-up, but I did write about green and ethical make up this year. Luckily, some more knowledgable bloggers have already thought about this! Buzzfeed has a very helpful article on sustainable products. Beautylish pointed to ones that don't test on animals!

from Toms.com

6. Tom’s Wedge Booties – We pretty much all know the Toms story by now, but these booties were so cute I had to add them (especially since it’s a company that practices one-for-one).  Again, pricey (since you’re basically buying 2), but they’ll last you ages.

My Thoughts- Shoes are tough to come by made ethically (and this is the most common complaint about Toms), but it's better to invest in something like this than just spending your money on something with less mission. If you want to do a one to one gift, you could also get someone a bear from Bears for Humanity, which sells super cute teddy bears (mostly made in the US), and for every one you buy, one is given to a child in need. 

A Few Bonus Ideas

If you want to give someone a gift that is really helping others, you have tons of great options! TONS. So don't buy from Susan G Komen- it's not a charity, it's basically just a brand. 

from Ornaments for Charity

1. Ornaments for Charity- A family in Nebraska makes Lego Christmas ornaments which they sell for a different charity every year. This year, they are giving 100% of the proceeds to the  Stephen Center and Space Haven. If that doesn't make you feel good about the universe, than what will? This is happening in our house this year, for sure. 

from Sela Designs

2. Sela Jewelry- Sela Designs, out of Wisconsin, sells their fair trade jewelry to give all proceeds to a charity. They also choose different projects- right now, they are working with a Children's Hospital in Ethiopia. I mean, come on. AND the jewelry looks gorgeous. This yellow necklace is currently my favorite. A little more expensive, but the splurge seems worth it! ho wouldn't love to receive a gift like this? 

3. Soaps- You can find tons of fair trade and local soaps, the most ubiquitous in Seattle probably being Alaffia, but you can probably fine something that supports a region that matters to you. I used to think that Bath and Bodyworks was the ultimate "I don't really know you" gift, but I think you could actually use more thoughtful soap gifts to keep loved ones clean and support things that matter to them. 

Does anyone have any other suggestions? How do you combine doing good for other people with giving gifts?

If you are loving this wishlist and want WAY more Christmas inspiration, check out my MegaList, which includes all of the shopping lists from this blog! So much to look at! 

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