Wedding Wednesday- 31 More Good Ideas for ONE Month Out!

from followpics.net/christmas-cinnamon-roll-wreath/‎

Alright people! We are exactly one month out today! So rather than just do one great idea, I figured I would do 31. I probably won't have another chance to trot out the fun ideas I come across on my blog hopping (which is almost over too! I mean, I am watching them slowly wane from my interest- once you have made your decisions, it just isn't as fun). I especially love that Offbeat Bride, and there a couple on here that I have left at the side for quite a while. So anyway, drink this in people, because it is almost over!

Ok!  Off we go!

1. This isn't technically only for weddings (It would be awesome for like holidays too) but for a brunch wedding it would be really cool. I can easily explain why we did our wedding the way we did (we want to dance), but if you aren't dancey, I think a brunch wedding would be so cool.

from offbeatbride.com/2012/07/washington-garden-food-wedding

2. Comic book postcards as your guest book. Very cool. I especially love the way they are displaying them. 

from offbeatbride.com/2012/07/unity-sandwich

3. A Unity Sandwich! As opposed to sand or candles or that business. The Boy HATES those, but we would do this if we could. Just amazing. Lifetime commitments do look like sandwiches. 

from kotaku.com/5930485/

 4. A Tetris Invite- This is Genius!! Would be very cool for a gamer wedding.

from indulgy.com/post/u4sqPheVT1/must-take-wedding-photos

5. This picture of guys getting ready. I just think this is pretty sweet. 

from offbeatbride.com/2012/07/nerdy-wedding-invitations

6. Dinosaur bone motif- I just think this is adorable- very tongue and cheek without being overly cutesy. 

from www.examiner.com/slideshow/wedding-activities-for-kids

7. Kids packs- I like this wayyy better than the coloring books that A) they don't use and B) are usually perpetuating a bunch of heteronormative silliness. I mean, if you are at a wedding for a heterosexual couple, some of this business is hard to avoid, but I think there is no reason to treat it like the only option. Or even something they should aspire to? If you just give them notepads, they can use it however they want!

from whengeekswed.com/blog/2012/04/16/hidden-spiderman/

8. This. I am pretty sure this was described as "something for the groom" but I think this could be awesome for anyone! Think of all the weirdness you could have crawling out of your wedding cake! This idea truly has a ton of potential.

from www.mazelmoments.com

9. This is probably the last time I will post a picture of this wedding, the dream one, on the blog. Yet another picture of it has been circulating around the internet, and it seriously has to be the prettiest yet. This is the reception that launched a thousand paper lanterns. Still, come on people! This is amazing!

from www.uncommonplaceblog.com/2012_07_01_archive.html

10. Having a wedding at the cheesy astro turf oasis in the middle of Joshua Tree. Just so creative and bizarre. I love the kind of intentional cheesiness of it all, but Joshua Tree is also so beautiful, so you get a very strange combination. 

from www.pinterest.com/cocobeancoco/updos-low/‎

11. Bride with each bridesmaid pictures- I really love these, because they turn out so much sweeter than the big group pictures. Melissa did these for her wedding, and I really thought they were great. 

from tiedbowblog.wordpress.com/tag/wedding-chair-signs/

12. Pictures on the back of the bride and groom's chairs. I saw another one in a magazine wherre the pictures were of the bride and groom as kids. I thought that was such a sentimental idea without being saccharine or overly agressive in its cuteness.

from www.pinterest.com/demomorty0/

13. Engagement pictures that prominently feature pets (and maybe nothing else)- this engagement pic is so cool because it isn't trying to hard. But putting them in a studio-like space, the photographer avoids some overly domesticated , Beidermeier style intimacy- but it is still intimate!

from offbeatbride.com/2010/08/guestbook-alternatives

14. A Blue French Horn as your Guest Book- Perfect for the exceptionally avid How I Met Your Mother enthusiast (or french horn players, I guess). 

from www.pinterest.com/vanityscare/engagement-pix-to-copy/‎

15. Another great engagement picture- God Bless Neon shoe laces- also, couples which are not equally matched in their eccentricity- I totally get that!

from www.geekosystem.com/eye-of-sauron-cake-always-watching/

16. Eye of Sauron groom's cake- Wow I wish I had thought of this! THis cake is AMAZING. Now I just think we need to have a Lord of the Ring's themed party so I can make this cake. Just about the most evil cake ever, in a good way. Seriously, one of my girlfriends with babies needs to have a Lord of the Rings themed 1st birthday party so their kid can eat the eye of Sauron!

from offbeatbride.com/2012/07/jenga-guest-book‎

17. Jenga block guest book- Just, cute. I would prefer a settlers of Cattan Guest Book. Maybe Uno. Or Pirateer.

18. Cookie Bouquet! Another genius sweets-related Idea- It is so sweet and they look delicious!

from www.pettipond.com/image_bf4.htm

 19. Ok, I am not a hot pink person, but I will happily respect any person's commitment to color. The inside of this skirt is just so cute. A great way to spice up a boring white dress.

from weddinggawker.com/?s=harry+potter

20. Harry Potter Engagement Pictures. This is sooooo good. This is why you can't spend too much time on blogs after a decision is done and over with. How do you live with yourself when you realize that you didn't think of a Harry Potter themed engagement shoot? 

from www.pinterest.com/ugotj/baby-shower-ideas/‎

21. Fruit Monster-  I love this guy. Way better than your regular fruit display. The three eyes and strawberry ears are my favorite part.

from www.pinterest.com/coffeehit/wood/‎

22. These signs. I like the mix of fonts and colors on this particular one. 

from www.pinterest.com/smorey10/late-night-wedding-snacks/‎

23. I know I used these before, but they are so cute! You have to appreciate cinammon roll lollipops! (its funny that cinamon rolls came up twice in one post!)

from ruffledblog.com/handcrafted-saskatchewan-wedding/

24. A beautiful Prego bridesmaid! I mean, I have a couple pregos in the mix, and i love the look they did for this girl! I just want them to feel cute too!

from www.chicagoillinoisweddingphotography.com/

25. I go back and forth on loving this and thinking like it looks like a sea of hung up used tissues.My Dad's dog would love it! 

from indulgy.com/post/FKWaFJZFT1/up-fingerprint-guestbook

26. These guestbooks- Probably the Boy's favorite thing we got for the whole wedding. It's very cute!

from etsy.com

27. Brides with Bettie Page bangs. I miss my blunt bangs, but I hear having them for your wedding leads to all kinds of annoyances and such.  Still, this girl looks adorable.

from www.pinterest.com/nannasoozanna/the-groom-and-his-men/

28. Suspenders!  I love them, I love this picture, and I love the commitment of the two guys on the left.

from ruffledblog.com/coral-savannah-wedding/

29. Polka dot bridesmaid dresses- I love some pattern. In Pam and Carlo's wedding, we wore black and white patterned dresses and they were so cute. People shouldn't be afraid of patterns!

from www.pinterest.com/duvadesigns/‎

30. Quilting details. So pretty!

from www.etsy.com/blog/en/2012/featured-shop-sibo-designs/‎

 31. This veil. Just beautiful!

Alright people!! We only have 31 days to go!! It's almost the end of Wedding Wednesday!

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Fourth Anniversary Inspiration- Fruit and Flower Inspiration and Fun

By your fourth anniversary, it sure can be easy to phone it in. Just head out to dinner and call it a day. I know we did that here way more than I would have liked, but we are also 9 months into a pregnancy, so I forgive us. Some years you just aren't going to nail it.

On the other hand, I think this anniversary (and it's fruity theme) actually lends itself to TONS of cool and fun ideas for activiities and decorations. You can do this one WELL, my friends. Do better than we did.

 Make this year a fun memory, not just a throwaway.

What to Do

The ideas on Pinterest for this anniversary are particularly lame. Basically, just fruit puns. I have nothing against fruit puns, but its no inside tent or leather den or really anything fun. But clearly, they have missed the boat here, because I think so many great ideas are waiting to happen!

1. Berry-picking- I know it sounds cheesy, but we have had the best time doing this. Living in Northern California, we could actually go pick strawberries right by the beach. Can you hear the sea lions when you look at this picture? Needless to say, it was cool. Lots of areas, rural and urban have picking farms nearby, and dependent on your anniversary date, you could do whatever is seasonal and available. Then go home and make something with it. It's an activity that is out of the ordinary, but it won't break the bank either.

2. Start a garden- Are you a late-spring/ early-summer couple? You got this. Plant something. Plant a bush or a tree in the anniversary's honor, and every year you can see how much it grows. Don't have a yard? Plant an herb garden you can use at home OR look and see if there is any planting that needs done in your neighborhood. You could even volunteer together for replanting somewhere or to work for a day in a community garden. It can be so fun to get your hands dirty, and isn't it always somehow better to do this kind of thing for someone else?

A good way to revise the flower/ fruit theme is "Growing." Your marriage isn't new anymore, but now we all know the secret that things don't stop growing just because they aren't saplings. Think about things that grow in your life and build your anniversary plans around keeping things growing.

3. Go to (or Make) Dinner Together- We went out for a fancy dinner this year, and when food is part of the theme, a dinner makes sense (otherwise, it can feel a little bit like the easiest possible answer).But I do think food in general makes sense, and if you have a fruit that especially resonates, you could pick it as a theme for food for the week!

Do a fun fruit salad. Or carve something out of fruit? I want to see some anniversary- themed watermelon sculptures!

I mean, come on. From Seasons of Joy

Maybe try a whole week of new recipes? Could you make a whole week of mango meals? Or try all the weird fruits in the grocery store you never go near? I think there is a fun adventure here waiting to happen. On that note...

What to Eat

This anniversary screams cake, so I am kind of freaking out that I haven't picked a cake (or its toppers yet). How do you pick when there are so many good options? Two years ago I made a lemon cake, and I will be honest with you, it wasn't that good. I obviously didn't pick the right thing. So this year I am looking for some fruity inspiration:

from Design Sponge

Pie! I love this anniversary pie from Design Sponge. So simple and chic, and it might be a good choice if you aren't a cake couple. I love this heart pie crust as well.

from Eat Spin Run Repeat

Fruit Cake. You can do an actual fruitcake for a Christmas anniversary, but how cool is this for summer anniversaries? I love Eat Spin Run Repeat's step by step tutorial, but you really could make an amazing cake with whatever fruit you like (or matches your wedding colors).

Just a Regular Old Amazing Cake. There is infinite pinteresty goodness around cakes with fruit. This is a goldmine, so you only have to find what idea fits you best. I had all sorts of ideas, and our cake was jank. I mean, really jank. Such a mess that I won't even put it up here, which I am never above doing. So let's look at other people's successes and ignore my 4th year failure:

from Baker by Nature

Baker by Nature has a recipe for a seriously beautiful lemon and blueberry cake. So nice, and it looks so pretty.

from Dagmar's Kitchen

This chocolate cake by Dagmar's Kitchen was the vision I had in my head when I thought about the cake. So pretty with the chocolate and the berries. Someday later I will make this cake. This one from Tastes Better from Scratch looks like a nice combination of the two.

from Plain Chicken

Lemon Sour Cream Pound Cake from Plain Chicken looks less fussy but still very pretty. Might be a good route if you don't have a ton of time.

Ok, these are my best fruit and flower ideas! What did you do for your 4th anniversary?

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Ten Ideas for Raising a Minimalist Kid

I want my children to have less than I did.

I know this sounds crazy. Who says that? The American Dream includes the idea that we all give our children more than we had. If we are good parents, we dream for abundance for our children. That if we are doing things right, our children have more than we had.

What happens if we want our children to have less?

At the very least, I want my children to have less stuff.

I don't think I have fewer dreams for my children than any other generation of parents did, and I do want them to have more in some ways- more adventures, more stability, more sushi than I did, but I think in the long run, we will do our children a tremendous service if they have less possessions, less spacious living, less baggage.

Before you get offended on my lovely parents' behalf (I am grateful for my upbringing and my husband's), hear me out. We are offered so many conveniences and gadgets to help manage our life, but those conveniences come at a deep cost that our children and grandchildren will have to pay.

-Too much costs our kids their healthy food and water. The (then still relatively new) disposable diapers our parents used for us 20 or 30 years ago still have 400 years on this planet, in the landfills and soil our children will eat from and the water they will drink. These options are way more prominent now- those HORRIBLE snack pouches can't be recycled, so you have saved 3 minutes now, but that pouch will outlive your grandkids. Not actually that great a deal.

- Too much costs our kids the environment. The plastic toys we played with will also outlive our children, and how many do you really remember? Why not only get used or recycled plastic toys for our kids?

- Too much costs our kids their future jobs. Because the market creates a demand for LOTS of toys (more toys is better than better toys), parents are looking for toys that are cheap. To make cheap toys, mainstream companies like Fisher Price and Melissa and Doug make all their toys in China. Those cheap toys mean someone is treated badly, fossil fuels are completely wasted in shipping, and more American jobs that can't compete with the prices fold. So fewer American jobs.

-Too much costs our kids their own happiness. Overconsumption when they are kids set them up for unhealthy habits through adulthood. If something breaks, replace it instead of fix it. More will make you happier (it's proven it never does). We all have to ask when these piles of stuff stop helping us and instead weigh us down.

- Too much costs our kids their time with us. It's well-documented that new American parents are pretty miserable. Some of these problems- like a cultural lack of a support system- can't be solved this way, but other's can. On average, our generation of parents lives in 1000 square foot larger homes than our parents did. What are we doing with all that space? And think of how much time all that extra space (and stuff that fills it) takes- we have to clean all of that! And if you have a toddler, you know life is like 80% cleaning. If we live in smaller spaces, our houses may not scream abundance and variety, but we win a lot of time back to just spend with our kids.

This dream of bigger and better keeps us working that much harder to just survive, when just surviving can be hard as it is. I see these beautiful pictures of children's spaces that look modern and pristine, not overun with toys, books, and clothes. I don't think my house will ever be that minimalist, and I am certainly still new at this. But the idea of effectively giving my children less has been on my mind a lot (especially as I fight the instinct to buy leading up to the birth of my second), so I thought I would share the ideas I have had.

1. Say Goodbye to Cable

Enough opinions are floating around about screen time (it rots your kids' brain vs. screenphobia is just the latest stand against Stay at Home Moms), but my beef isn't with a screen. Pick the amount of screen time that works for your family, Netflix it up, but stay away from media with ads. When you have cable, or you are watching any programming directed at children, you need to weed out these overstimulating and overpromising snippets.

Ads are designed to send a constant message- you aren't enough, you don't have enough, and that you won't be happy until you have this thing.

This is a pretty dangerous game of desire for anyone, much less kids. And before you roll your eyes and think your child is above it, just remember that these people really, really know what they are doing. They get degrees in how to send that message. They do research on how to do it most effectively. They get paid millions of dollars to do it. This is a serious business, and they are good at it. But, there is no law saying your kid needs to watch things that tell them what they want. You get to choose what normal is, and do your kids a favor by keeping cable out of your home.

2. Just Stay Away from the Toy Section

In the same way, kids can't want every toy on the shelf if they don't know what is on the shelf. Stay out of the toy sections of most stores, and they won't know every little thing that is out there. Will this save you from the occasional tantrum in the grocery store? Nope. Does it mean your child will never want toys they see at friends' houses? Nope. Is this guaranteed to save you from Elsa or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Nope. But it does make wanting stuff less a part of their regular life.

When we are at Goodwill, I will let my son pick out one thing to take home. Anywhere else, he can look, even touch, but nothing is coming home with us. The less time we spend in Target's toy aisles, the less I have to have this fight.

3. Slow Your Roll Out

My sister in law taught me this, and it is genius. When her son would get a giant pile of loot from a birthday or Christmas, she just packed a bunch back up and gave them out when he seemed bored with the last thing. After Christmas, let 2 or 3 gifts stay out, and everything else goes into storage. As the previous gifts wear out (over weeks and months), another new object can come out.

We love that feeling of abundance, that fantasy of the super full Christmas tree, but gifting that way isn't very practical and the kids can't appreciate it anyway.

Kids can only process so much at a time, so those big gift mountains seem cool, but lots of toys get lost in the shuffle. Most children do get sick of things. Instead of constantly needing new toys, you just use what they were already gifted and Christmas last much longer! Our son is too little to know the difference, and we can make one holiday last for months.

from Mum in the Madhouse

4. Make Giving a Family Tradition and Habit

At Christmastime, many families have an advent calendar with treats inside. What if this year, each member of your family gave one thing away every day in Advent. You could do it for Lent too! To teach your kids about taking better care of the Earth, you have to illustrate the act of giving. Let them pick toys to gift.every day during the holiday season, then go together as a family to give it away. Have your spring cleaning tradition include a big family day where you drop things off and donate things to charities. Let them participate with you on Buy Nothing once a month. Pick what works for you, but pick something and include your little ones.

 I whole-heartedly believe that we have to model the behavior we want to see from our children, so if you want them to be generous (and non-materialistic), then you have to make giving a regular part of life. It well help your house stay cleaner, help them assess what they really care about, and in the end could be such a fun tradition!

5. Clean Out the Toys and Clothes Every 3-6 Months and Give a Third Away

 Even two years in, I can see how quickly the toy collection flies off the rails.You receive gifts from grandparents or hand me downs from friends, and the pile gets bigger. Man, they can take over everything! The key is not only to buy less, but to clean out more, so get in there and send things off that never clicked with your kid.

Right now, The Bub is too little to really understand what is going on when I do this, but he is always present, and someday he will just think it is normal. It's not about throwing things away, it's about sharing with other people who might enjoy it more. I have gotten some of his favorite toys at Goodwill or on Buy Nothing, so I think it is my responsibility to keep putting back into these resources as well.

6. Don't Buy More Storage, Cut Out Stuff

It can be so tempting when the toys are taking over to think of more storage solutions. I get that, and I am not saying we don't have a plastic tub of toys in the basement, but before you get another toy box, book shelf, or hot wheels shelf, why not just give things away? To have a house that makes sense, you need places for everything to go. If you no longer have enough destinations for toys, maybe there are too many toys. If you have so much storage that your kid can't see all of their toys in a day, you probably have more than they need.

passed to us by a neighbor, passed on to a third child in the neighborhood

7. Swap, Borrow, and Get it Used

The difference between a minimalist lifestyle and a house full of toys is seeing possessions as temporary. Join a library and you always have a resource for new books (and a place to connect with other moms and kids). Join your local freecycle or Buy Nothing groups, you can pass kids stuff around. Just ask friends if they want to do book or toy swaps to switch things up in your house.

 I feel like as kids, we treated our toys and collections like they were essential parts of our identities, and it made it hard to let them go even as adults. But your kid can still love Frozen without having every Elsa and Anna item in the world (is that even possible? God bless Disney and their marketing genius). Only a few things can be precious, everything else should be moved around before it sticks to a spot on the shelf.

Every parent of a toddler is constantly encouraging them to share (it's tough!), but this is a way to push that a step further, treating sharing as a part of life.

8. Have Confidence They Have Enough

This is easy to say but so hard to feel. Parents right now are under constant pressure about how they manage their kids, their time, their money, everything. We can look around and see someone else who is doing a better job in various ways. We feel self-concious because that Stay at Home mom gives them so much time (and loves to talk about it). We feel frustrated because we can't give our kids everything they want. We try to compensate by giving little gifts because we can see how happy it makes our kids, even for a second.

We have to have confidence we are giving our kids what they need. Parenting is so tough, because success can me so hard to define or measure- how do you ever know if you are doing alright? Sometimes shopping is as much about ourselves as our kids, because we can at least feel certain we are providing. A bigger house or well-dressed kid makes us feel like we are filling their needs well, not just enough.

But you are doing more than enough just by caring. There isn't a void that you need to fill. It's a cliche, but your kid really does just want to be with you. Go to a playground instead of a store, and you will give them something worth remembering. Get clothes and toys used and save your money. Your kid doesn't know the difference, and you just have to keep building yourself up that you are  doing great at this job just by caring and getting in there. I don't know how to build this confidence more other than reminding ourselves, but it's a constant battle we need to fight. Buying mostly doesn't make us do a better job, but getting in there does.

9. Use What You Have

We all know kids love cardboard boxes, but it is amazing how far you can make one cardboard box go for play time. Blanket forts make amazing memories too, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.

At my job, people donate all sorts of objects that could be "art supplies" for a shopping space and classes for kids. This includes baby food jars, toilet paper rolls, flooring samples, jewelry boxes, gift wrap, broken crayons- all kinds of stuff we tend to see as junk and throw away. But you reframe that for a kid (turn the jewelry box into a robot, use the toliet paper rolls to make fireworks, make a "home" for a stuffed animal), and you can provide hours of entertainment, conversation, learning, and creativity. This isn't conjecture, it is my job and I see it all the time. Junk, when mixed with creative framing, is always an opportunity. Need a rattle? Clean and fill an old bottle with beans.

 That kind of creative play isn't always easy to come up with, so thank goodness we live in the time of pinterest. You can find so many ideas on there.

10. Slow it Down and Just Be Together

I know I am so guilty of this one. As an introvert parent of an extreme extrovert, I often feel desperate for a minute to just catch my breath (or check my email), and some days I know I don't enjoy the time with my kid as much as I should. I feel sometimes like toys are partially just tools to give parents a minute.

Whenever an older generation parent tells me "Oh it goes so fast," I try hard not to roll my eyes. Really? Because this sleep deprivation is making everything move in slow motion.

But there is a lot of wisdom in the suggestion to let things go and slow down to our kids' speed. It doesn't mean we don't get those minutes or that we don't deserve a break while working and parenting, but when you are going to be there, really be there.

 The Bub and I have literally spent hours (this week) playing with a baseball hat and a pair of kitchen tongs. Even with older kids, you don't need many objects to have a perfectly great time. Go for a walk. Go to a playground. Just listen to them. Children are just tiny human beings, and they just want heard like everyone else. A game of tag (or robot tag) can be more fun than any toy, so the more you can focus when the quality time comes, the fewer things you need.



So there you have it, buy less and give more. Change the goals and you may just raise kids who aren't as caught up in this consumerist minefield we are all trying to navigate right now. We both know it creates a lot more work, a tremendous number of problems, and very little of the happiness or solutions that we are constantly promised. We can protect our children's futures from waste and from that constant want by shifting our attitudes now. Let's give ourselves a freaking break and give our kids less.

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