Green Christmas 2015: The Mission-Driven Girl's Wishlist

Our next Christmas Shopping Wishlist is from my cousin Rochelle! Shell is the kind of person who is always trying to do better and make the world better for the people around her. She loves to tell a story, and she has a lot of compassion for others. Not surprisingly, when I asked her to write me a Christmas list, she went above and beyond what I asked! 

In Rochelle's own words:

"I chose to focus on social responsibility instead of eco-friendly companies because the social responsibility was more important to me and I found that in most cases a company that practices social responsibility was also environmentally responsible but the reverse was not always the case.  Specifically, I wanted to find companies or stores that have a mission-minded focus.  I want the purchases I make to really mean something.  Not everything on this list will be mission-focused, but I think you’ll find that a lot of them practice some kind of mission."

Shelly made a list of things she wanted for Christmas:

Pajamas 

Candles

Clothes

Long Sleeve Shirts

Make-Up

Wedges

Rochelle had really awesome ideas for where to get these things, so I am going to let her do most the talking and just add a few thoughts of my own onto the end of each item.

I love that she adjusted her list to address the issues that matter the most to her- you should do that too! Think about how your gifts can do more than just get someone another thing. I am in love with her list, so I hope you love it too! 

from Sudara

from Sudara

1. Punjammies – "Every year my mom gets each of us Christmas pajamas that we open on Christmas Eve.  Usually she picks out sets from Kohls or the Gap (I usually pick out my own because I’m weirdly picky about my pajamas).  This year as I started to dig into various companies and social responsibility I found these pajamas and I am in love with them! 

Punjammies are made by a company called Sudara (www.sudara.org) in India.  The women who work for this company are rescued from the sex trade in India and provided housing and education for both themselves and their children.  You can order these adorable clothes direct from their website and styles are available for women, men, and children.  Women’s pajama bottoms run about $45 and that cute India shirt is about $35.  That is only about $20 more than an equivalent sleep set from Gap."

My thoughts- Gah! These pajamas are definitely awesome, and price wise, they are about the same as anything I have found Made in America. Our family does Christmas Ever pajamas too, and I think you could cut down the price slightly by doing Punjammies pants and get a basic (but ethical!) shirt from American Apparel or another Made in America company. Bed Head makes their pajamas in the US as well.

from Kristin Schmucker Shop

2. Candles– "I have been following Kristin Schmucker Shop on Instagram for nearly 2 years and I love pretty much everything in it.  Last year they added these adorable candles to the shop and I remember her posting a picture of her kitchen completely covered in mason jar candles – she makes these all in her own home! The candles are hand-poured with 100% natural soy wax from soy grown in the Midwest.  How cool is that?! And, they’re only about $11 on sale right now!"

My thoughts- Candles are an awesome thing to change course on, and they certainly make great gifts. Smelly candles are often made with paraffin that comes from petroleum! Boo! Using more sustainable materials (like soy or bee's wax) is better for your household and for the world (funny how often those go hand in hand).

Shelly didn't even mention my favorite thing about these candles- they have really pretty calligraphy on them (that seems to be Kristin's primary business) with bible verses. So awesome. If you are looking for other candle options, we are trying Eco Candle and Our Own Candle Company candles. I like the Tiger Mountain Farms beeswax candles and Silver Dollar Candle Co, but my absolute favorites are from Etta Arlene.

from Altar'd State

3. All the clothes from Altar’d State – "I love this store.  Like, I really, really love this store.  I started shopping here about 4 years ago.  My mom bought me my first two items right after I found out I was pregnant with my son and was tired of how bloated I looked (I show about 0.045 seconds after a positive pregnancy test – don’t tell me that I can wear my normal clothes well into the second trimester).  The long cardigan she bought me that day I still have and it is just now started to have a well-worn look.  Plus, it has adorable buttons on the cuffs.  Since then I’ve only bought a couple of items because, to be honest, the clothes are a little pricier than I usually buy.  All of that is seriously changing because  I’m no longer a “fast fashion” consumer and because I realized at the end of the summer that when I wanted to look super cute or put together I absolutely always reached for the two shirts I bought at Altar’d State at the beginning of the summer.

I can’t tell you that absolutely every item made in their store is socially responsible, but they do have certain stamps they put on some items that say “gives back” when the item is a part of their philanthropy program or the vendor is a partner in philanthropy.  This store donates 1% of all sales to local and international charities and they fund employee volunteer hours each month.  And their clothes are freaking cute.  Like, I seriously do want almost all of it.  These 3 tops were each about $40-$60 and the jeans are about $70, so like I said, it’s pricey.  But they last forever so they are great options for anchor pieces in your wardrobe.  The store also has great sales – I got 2 tops at the beginning of the summer for a grand total of $50 and I’m super sad that I can’t figure out how to make them work for winter."

My Thoughts- Altar'd States are all over the Southeastern region, but still remain pretty regional (you can shop from them online). But Shelly's love for them has inspired another Christmas season resolution: we should all take a second to explore a local shop. You know that one store that you walk by but haven't ever gone in? Time to check it out. There are small businesses all over the place that employ our neighbors and often have more priorities than "make more money, get bigger." But you don't know if you don't look, so let's all make a resolution to explore somewhere small before heading somewhere big.

from Krochet Kids

4. The Marni Long Sleeve Shirt from KrochetKids – "Okay, this company is pretty incredible (and they are a vendor partner with Altar’d State!).  This company was started by three guys who were best friends in high school and all learned to crochet.  They started making beanies to sell to locals in their mountain community in Spokane, WA.  Some friends and family eventually encouraged them to teach people in developing countries to crochet as a means of escaping poverty.  They now have over 150 people in Uganda and Peru  who are working, receiving education, and being mentored toward a sustainable future.

What’s even cooler is that each item is signed by the person who made it and you can go to their website and write them a thank you note!"

My Thoughts- Super cool! I love their hashtag #knowwhomadeit.  We bought the bub a hat from them, and it is well-made enough to stand up through way more toddlers. 

from Sephora

5. Colorscience Makeup – "So I heard about this brand thanks to an impulse decision to follow Kaley Cuoco on Instagram.  Evidently this is the make up they use on the set of The Big Bang Theory (sorry, Barbara, I still love it).  This makeup is different for a number of reasons and costs about the same as any department store makeup.  I can’t tell you better than they can, so here is a quote from their website: “Made from 100% healthy, high-integrity minerals, pigments and nourishing ingredients, including antioxidants, peptides, breathable zinc and titanium dioxide. You might have heard or read that we’re doctor approved. This is completely true. We are, in fact, doctor-recommended all over the country.”  It’s makeup that’s actually good for you!

They also have a give back program called “Sunstoppable” with which they teach healthy sun habits.  They also partner with the Women’s Dermatologic Society and the Skin Cancer Foundation to raise awareness about the need for kids’ sun protection during recess and outside playtime.

Their “Everything Matte” set helps give you a shine-free complexion and the whole set will run you $162.40.  I spent about $200 on a similar beauty routine from Clinique last year."

My Thoughts- Awesome! I am currently on a mission to use up my giant archive of make-up, but I did write about green and ethical make up this year. Luckily, some more knowledgable bloggers have already thought about this! Buzzfeed has a very helpful article on sustainable products. Beautylish pointed to ones that don't test on animals!

from Toms.com

6. Tom’s Wedge Booties – We pretty much all know the Toms story by now, but these booties were so cute I had to add them (especially since it’s a company that practices one-for-one).  Again, pricey (since you’re basically buying 2), but they’ll last you ages.

My Thoughts- Shoes are tough to come by made ethically (and this is the most common complaint about Toms), but it's better to invest in something like this than just spending your money on something with less mission. If you want to do a one to one gift, you could also get someone a bear from Bears for Humanity, which sells super cute teddy bears (mostly made in the US), and for every one you buy, one is given to a child in need. 

A Few Bonus Ideas

If you want to give someone a gift that is really helping others, you have tons of great options! TONS. So don't buy from Susan G Komen- it's not a charity, it's basically just a brand. 

from Ornaments for Charity

1. Ornaments for Charity- A family in Nebraska makes Lego Christmas ornaments which they sell for a different charity every year. This year, they are giving 100% of the proceeds to the  Stephen Center and Space Haven. If that doesn't make you feel good about the universe, than what will? This is happening in our house this year, for sure. 

from Sela Designs

2. Sela Jewelry- Sela Designs, out of Wisconsin, sells their fair trade jewelry to give all proceeds to a charity. They also choose different projects- right now, they are working with a Children's Hospital in Ethiopia. I mean, come on. AND the jewelry looks gorgeous. This yellow necklace is currently my favorite. A little more expensive, but the splurge seems worth it! ho wouldn't love to receive a gift like this? 

3. Soaps- You can find tons of fair trade and local soaps, the most ubiquitous in Seattle probably being Alaffia, but you can probably fine something that supports a region that matters to you. I used to think that Bath and Bodyworks was the ultimate "I don't really know you" gift, but I think you could actually use more thoughtful soap gifts to keep loved ones clean and support things that matter to them. 

Does anyone have any other suggestions? How do you combine doing good for other people with giving gifts?

If you are loving this wishlist and want WAY more Christmas inspiration, check out my MegaList, which includes all of the shopping lists from this blog! So much to look at! 

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Ten Ideas for Raising a Minimalist Kid

I want my children to have less than I did.

I know this sounds crazy. Who says that? The American Dream includes the idea that we all give our children more than we had. If we are good parents, we dream for abundance for our children. That if we are doing things right, our children have more than we had.

What happens if we want our children to have less?

At the very least, I want my children to have less stuff.

I don't think I have fewer dreams for my children than any other generation of parents did, and I do want them to have more in some ways- more adventures, more stability, more sushi than I did, but I think in the long run, we will do our children a tremendous service if they have less possessions, less spacious living, less baggage.

Before you get offended on my lovely parents' behalf (I am grateful for my upbringing and my husband's), hear me out. We are offered so many conveniences and gadgets to help manage our life, but those conveniences come at a deep cost that our children and grandchildren will have to pay.

-Too much costs our kids their healthy food and water. The (then still relatively new) disposable diapers our parents used for us 20 or 30 years ago still have 400 years on this planet, in the landfills and soil our children will eat from and the water they will drink. These options are way more prominent now- those HORRIBLE snack pouches can't be recycled, so you have saved 3 minutes now, but that pouch will outlive your grandkids. Not actually that great a deal.

- Too much costs our kids the environment. The plastic toys we played with will also outlive our children, and how many do you really remember? Why not only get used or recycled plastic toys for our kids?

- Too much costs our kids their future jobs. Because the market creates a demand for LOTS of toys (more toys is better than better toys), parents are looking for toys that are cheap. To make cheap toys, mainstream companies like Fisher Price and Melissa and Doug make all their toys in China. Those cheap toys mean someone is treated badly, fossil fuels are completely wasted in shipping, and more American jobs that can't compete with the prices fold. So fewer American jobs.

-Too much costs our kids their own happiness. Overconsumption when they are kids set them up for unhealthy habits through adulthood. If something breaks, replace it instead of fix it. More will make you happier (it's proven it never does). We all have to ask when these piles of stuff stop helping us and instead weigh us down.

- Too much costs our kids their time with us. It's well-documented that new American parents are pretty miserable. Some of these problems- like a cultural lack of a support system- can't be solved this way, but other's can. On average, our generation of parents lives in 1000 square foot larger homes than our parents did. What are we doing with all that space? And think of how much time all that extra space (and stuff that fills it) takes- we have to clean all of that! And if you have a toddler, you know life is like 80% cleaning. If we live in smaller spaces, our houses may not scream abundance and variety, but we win a lot of time back to just spend with our kids.

This dream of bigger and better keeps us working that much harder to just survive, when just surviving can be hard as it is. I see these beautiful pictures of children's spaces that look modern and pristine, not overun with toys, books, and clothes. I don't think my house will ever be that minimalist, and I am certainly still new at this. But the idea of effectively giving my children less has been on my mind a lot (especially as I fight the instinct to buy leading up to the birth of my second), so I thought I would share the ideas I have had.

1. Say Goodbye to Cable

Enough opinions are floating around about screen time (it rots your kids' brain vs. screenphobia is just the latest stand against Stay at Home Moms), but my beef isn't with a screen. Pick the amount of screen time that works for your family, Netflix it up, but stay away from media with ads. When you have cable, or you are watching any programming directed at children, you need to weed out these overstimulating and overpromising snippets.

Ads are designed to send a constant message- you aren't enough, you don't have enough, and that you won't be happy until you have this thing.

This is a pretty dangerous game of desire for anyone, much less kids. And before you roll your eyes and think your child is above it, just remember that these people really, really know what they are doing. They get degrees in how to send that message. They do research on how to do it most effectively. They get paid millions of dollars to do it. This is a serious business, and they are good at it. But, there is no law saying your kid needs to watch things that tell them what they want. You get to choose what normal is, and do your kids a favor by keeping cable out of your home.

2. Just Stay Away from the Toy Section

In the same way, kids can't want every toy on the shelf if they don't know what is on the shelf. Stay out of the toy sections of most stores, and they won't know every little thing that is out there. Will this save you from the occasional tantrum in the grocery store? Nope. Does it mean your child will never want toys they see at friends' houses? Nope. Is this guaranteed to save you from Elsa or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Nope. But it does make wanting stuff less a part of their regular life.

When we are at Goodwill, I will let my son pick out one thing to take home. Anywhere else, he can look, even touch, but nothing is coming home with us. The less time we spend in Target's toy aisles, the less I have to have this fight.

3. Slow Your Roll Out

My sister in law taught me this, and it is genius. When her son would get a giant pile of loot from a birthday or Christmas, she just packed a bunch back up and gave them out when he seemed bored with the last thing. After Christmas, let 2 or 3 gifts stay out, and everything else goes into storage. As the previous gifts wear out (over weeks and months), another new object can come out.

We love that feeling of abundance, that fantasy of the super full Christmas tree, but gifting that way isn't very practical and the kids can't appreciate it anyway.

Kids can only process so much at a time, so those big gift mountains seem cool, but lots of toys get lost in the shuffle. Most children do get sick of things. Instead of constantly needing new toys, you just use what they were already gifted and Christmas last much longer! Our son is too little to know the difference, and we can make one holiday last for months.

from Mum in the Madhouse

4. Make Giving a Family Tradition and Habit

At Christmastime, many families have an advent calendar with treats inside. What if this year, each member of your family gave one thing away every day in Advent. You could do it for Lent too! To teach your kids about taking better care of the Earth, you have to illustrate the act of giving. Let them pick toys to gift.every day during the holiday season, then go together as a family to give it away. Have your spring cleaning tradition include a big family day where you drop things off and donate things to charities. Let them participate with you on Buy Nothing once a month. Pick what works for you, but pick something and include your little ones.

 I whole-heartedly believe that we have to model the behavior we want to see from our children, so if you want them to be generous (and non-materialistic), then you have to make giving a regular part of life. It well help your house stay cleaner, help them assess what they really care about, and in the end could be such a fun tradition!

5. Clean Out the Toys and Clothes Every 3-6 Months and Give a Third Away

 Even two years in, I can see how quickly the toy collection flies off the rails.You receive gifts from grandparents or hand me downs from friends, and the pile gets bigger. Man, they can take over everything! The key is not only to buy less, but to clean out more, so get in there and send things off that never clicked with your kid.

Right now, The Bub is too little to really understand what is going on when I do this, but he is always present, and someday he will just think it is normal. It's not about throwing things away, it's about sharing with other people who might enjoy it more. I have gotten some of his favorite toys at Goodwill or on Buy Nothing, so I think it is my responsibility to keep putting back into these resources as well.

6. Don't Buy More Storage, Cut Out Stuff

It can be so tempting when the toys are taking over to think of more storage solutions. I get that, and I am not saying we don't have a plastic tub of toys in the basement, but before you get another toy box, book shelf, or hot wheels shelf, why not just give things away? To have a house that makes sense, you need places for everything to go. If you no longer have enough destinations for toys, maybe there are too many toys. If you have so much storage that your kid can't see all of their toys in a day, you probably have more than they need.

passed to us by a neighbor, passed on to a third child in the neighborhood

7. Swap, Borrow, and Get it Used

The difference between a minimalist lifestyle and a house full of toys is seeing possessions as temporary. Join a library and you always have a resource for new books (and a place to connect with other moms and kids). Join your local freecycle or Buy Nothing groups, you can pass kids stuff around. Just ask friends if they want to do book or toy swaps to switch things up in your house.

 I feel like as kids, we treated our toys and collections like they were essential parts of our identities, and it made it hard to let them go even as adults. But your kid can still love Frozen without having every Elsa and Anna item in the world (is that even possible? God bless Disney and their marketing genius). Only a few things can be precious, everything else should be moved around before it sticks to a spot on the shelf.

Every parent of a toddler is constantly encouraging them to share (it's tough!), but this is a way to push that a step further, treating sharing as a part of life.

8. Have Confidence They Have Enough

This is easy to say but so hard to feel. Parents right now are under constant pressure about how they manage their kids, their time, their money, everything. We can look around and see someone else who is doing a better job in various ways. We feel self-concious because that Stay at Home mom gives them so much time (and loves to talk about it). We feel frustrated because we can't give our kids everything they want. We try to compensate by giving little gifts because we can see how happy it makes our kids, even for a second.

We have to have confidence we are giving our kids what they need. Parenting is so tough, because success can me so hard to define or measure- how do you ever know if you are doing alright? Sometimes shopping is as much about ourselves as our kids, because we can at least feel certain we are providing. A bigger house or well-dressed kid makes us feel like we are filling their needs well, not just enough.

But you are doing more than enough just by caring. There isn't a void that you need to fill. It's a cliche, but your kid really does just want to be with you. Go to a playground instead of a store, and you will give them something worth remembering. Get clothes and toys used and save your money. Your kid doesn't know the difference, and you just have to keep building yourself up that you are  doing great at this job just by caring and getting in there. I don't know how to build this confidence more other than reminding ourselves, but it's a constant battle we need to fight. Buying mostly doesn't make us do a better job, but getting in there does.

9. Use What You Have

We all know kids love cardboard boxes, but it is amazing how far you can make one cardboard box go for play time. Blanket forts make amazing memories too, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.

At my job, people donate all sorts of objects that could be "art supplies" for a shopping space and classes for kids. This includes baby food jars, toilet paper rolls, flooring samples, jewelry boxes, gift wrap, broken crayons- all kinds of stuff we tend to see as junk and throw away. But you reframe that for a kid (turn the jewelry box into a robot, use the toliet paper rolls to make fireworks, make a "home" for a stuffed animal), and you can provide hours of entertainment, conversation, learning, and creativity. This isn't conjecture, it is my job and I see it all the time. Junk, when mixed with creative framing, is always an opportunity. Need a rattle? Clean and fill an old bottle with beans.

 That kind of creative play isn't always easy to come up with, so thank goodness we live in the time of pinterest. You can find so many ideas on there.

10. Slow it Down and Just Be Together

I know I am so guilty of this one. As an introvert parent of an extreme extrovert, I often feel desperate for a minute to just catch my breath (or check my email), and some days I know I don't enjoy the time with my kid as much as I should. I feel sometimes like toys are partially just tools to give parents a minute.

Whenever an older generation parent tells me "Oh it goes so fast," I try hard not to roll my eyes. Really? Because this sleep deprivation is making everything move in slow motion.

But there is a lot of wisdom in the suggestion to let things go and slow down to our kids' speed. It doesn't mean we don't get those minutes or that we don't deserve a break while working and parenting, but when you are going to be there, really be there.

 The Bub and I have literally spent hours (this week) playing with a baseball hat and a pair of kitchen tongs. Even with older kids, you don't need many objects to have a perfectly great time. Go for a walk. Go to a playground. Just listen to them. Children are just tiny human beings, and they just want heard like everyone else. A game of tag (or robot tag) can be more fun than any toy, so the more you can focus when the quality time comes, the fewer things you need.



So there you have it, buy less and give more. Change the goals and you may just raise kids who aren't as caught up in this consumerist minefield we are all trying to navigate right now. We both know it creates a lot more work, a tremendous number of problems, and very little of the happiness or solutions that we are constantly promised. We can protect our children's futures from waste and from that constant want by shifting our attitudes now. Let's give ourselves a freaking break and give our kids less.

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My Ten Favorite Buy Nothing Moments

I love my Buy Nothing Group.

I know, I talk about it a lot, but I genuinely feel that being part of the Buy Nothing Project radically shifted my perception of stuff, my community, even myself. The project connects neighbors through hyper local facebook groups. The members can offer and ask for things freely. It keeps things you don't want out of landfills and keeps people from wasting money. In cities, it helps you get to know your neighbors and in small communities, it creates new bonds. It's all kinds of awesome.

Expect me to keep talking about it, because my goal is that by the end of 4 years the 280,000 members will have grown to at least 2 million. It is all about people empowering themselves, but I am just going to keep talking about it until someone in Franklin, PA starts a group already. Or you give up and ask to join yours. This could help everyone, freeing up money to make more ethical and environmentally-responsible choices, so the more of us who join, the better.

It also just makes daily life better. When I get on facebook, my news feed shows me people being kind to each other, not because of who they are, but because that is what you do. I have had so many positive interactions with my neighbors, which is way swell, and I just feel better about the universe. That is pretty big these days. I have been in this gift economy for a year and a half, and these are some of my favorite interactions:

10. Gifting our Christmas Wreath

 I bought a fresh wreath at an elementary school fundraiser mostly to make my house smell like a real Christmas tree, even though we continue to use our trusty artificial one (It will look like a used fake eyelash before we throw that bad boy away). We were headed back home for the holidays, and it felt like a shame to let the wreath go to waste, so I gifted it to a young mom looking for a few decorations for her apartment. She walked a couple miles to get it, so I honored the badassery with glass of water, and we ended up sitting and chatting for a few hours while our kids played near each other (toddlers never play together- why do people pretend?). It was an unexpected way to spend our last Christmasy afternoon in the city. Plus that gorgeous pine stink still stuck for a while.

9. Gifted Tablecloths

My brother is getting married in a few weeks, so when someone recently offered 40 wedding tablecloths, I jumped at it. Do you know just how many tablecloths that is? It was HEAVY. Hopefully the tablecloths can get washed and regifted, so they will see at least 3 couples through their wedding day.

free

8.Gifted Popping Push Toy/ Plastic Shopping Cart/ Plastic Tree House/ Plastic Wagon

I hate fresh plastic toys- so much waste for no reason! Luckily, my son still got one of those magnetic drawing boards, the shopping cart, even one of those popper toys. His plastic tree house is one of his favorites. We just got them all for free. And when we are done with them, some other kid will get them for free. At this age, they can't tell the difference between used and new, and my hope is that I am giving him a different value system. The newest, shiniest thing doesn't have intrinsically more value.  More toys does not equal more fun. We have gifted toys and been gifted toys over and over again, so at any given time his collection is at least 50% used. It saves us so much money, but more importantly, it sends him important messages about consumerism and giving (not hoarding) as a regular part of life.

7.Gifting Spruce Sap

One of the group members was looking for sap from a spruce tree. We have a spruce tree! An hour or two later, our tree was less sticky and we got to help someone with a school project. Also, I learned that spruce trees are sappy. The best kind of random.

6. Gifting Treadmill/ Gifted Crib

We kicked off healthy 2016 by giving away our treadmill (perfect sense, right?). A woman got it, and her husband and his friend loaded it in their van. In November, I was gifted a crib from the same family. My husband and his brother loaded it into our car. Just goes to show that these things come around pretty fast.

about to find more pavers. also got the bucket (originally for frosting) on BN

5. Gifting Pavers

 Our flipped yard is really just built on top of the previous yard, so every time we go to do something, we find a whole floor of pavers underneath. Lucky for us, we kicked off our summer giving away a bunch of those big rocks to people to put paths through their gardens. One mom came with her toddler and loaded so many that it made her car sit lower. One woman's super annoying rock pit is another woman's treasure.

4. Gifted Food Magazines

For one of my class projects, I need pictures of food. Lots of pictures of food. So many pictures of food. Usually, I would buy a pile of food magazines and old cookbooks to fill that need. This year, I asked my Buy Nothing, and I got so many I shouldn't have to ask again for a long time. Happy to be recycling for someone, especially when the recycling turns out this cute.

3. Gifting (and watching Gifting) for people who really need it

Our city is growing fast, but lots of people are still really struggling, and I have been awed by how many times people have stepped up to help. I have seen people rally around moms leaving domestic violence situations. I have seen 10-20 people step up when someone asks for a ride to the hospital. I have seen them drop off food to someone who can't shop. We have given our newborn clothes to a premie and our swing to an exhausted mother of twins. We have given hats and warm clothes to the homeless. We have helped the group outfit elementary school classrooms with supplies. I have watch so many people empty their cupboards to help their neighbor.

I know we have problems, but I genuinely believe, have to believe that we as Americans are fundamentally good. When faced with an individual who needs help, I have never seen the group go silent. Someone helps. Usually, at least a dozen people offer. Being a participant in this is great, but it does my soul so much good to be a witness. Because when I leave my house, even in this big city, I know how many kind people are around me.

2. Gifting a Wedding Dress

I foolishly impulse bought a wedding dress at Priscilla of Boston because they were closing and had a ridiculous clearance. In the end. I wore a different dress. This spring, a woman asked if anyone had a wedding dress to gift or lend, and I did! So it traveled with my Dad and his wife across the country for her to try on. And it looked perfect. Little did I know I bought her dress for her, but it was fate. She looks amazing.

They get married next year, so I won't post a picture, but I could not be more excited about this. So glad the dress is going to good use and honored to have helped with their day!

1. Gifted the Dining Room Table

Last October, my husband was home for a sick day, and we ended up loading our sick butts into the car, renting a van, and going to a stranger's house to pick up the table. I had thrown my hat in for the table, but he was picked, then it didn't work in his space. Not only was it a kind of fun adventure, but I am super sentimental about this table. It was another growing family's first, and now our family will grow up eating their meals around this table.

It has been a lot of work (put on pause because we found out we were pregnant soon after), but the table only cost us 15 dollars for the van rental. Compare it to the same table at Pottery Barn, we saved over 2,000 dollars. We can put that money toward a trip or adventure for our family, and when it is done, we will still have a beautiful space. I love the table and I feel so grateful to live in the kind of neighborhood where things are given so freely and happily.

That's what this is all about to me. When we are willing to share with our neighbors, we can build new bonds and reprioritize our life. It doesn't have to all be about the next thing you are going to buy, and you spend most of the time considering what you have that you can give. If you aren't in a Buy Nothing group, check out their page and join. If there isn't one where you live, let's talk about starting one. This thing can change the world and change your life!

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6 Things for Yesterday and Monday

1. Amy Poehler is guest curating ONE this month, to bring more attention to global problems for women and girls- Gah, I want to be her when I grow up.

2. Devon Still- I may have spent like an hour weeping and going through his instagram Monday afternoon. I knew vaguely about what was going on with him (and I think that I actually recognized the name, because he played for Penn State and I try to read my cousin Ben's writing on Penn State football) but then I checked his instagram and basically fell apart seeing this man who clearly loves his daughter more than anything and is now fighting cancer next to her. Plus, she is just the cutest 4 year old, and they have such a sweet bond. Looking at his instagram is a lesson in appreciation and perseverance.

3.This video of Eartha Kitt- PAG sent this to me yesterday, and it is pretty heavenly. I loved Eartha Kitt before, but listening to her talk about loving yourself first is pretty wonderful. She just seems like she is from another world, and I love that.

4.This story about an awesome Kenyan teen's invention to try to cut into poaching- You can read more about Mercy Sigey here.I just read last week that the world's wildlife population has been cut in half since 1970, which is so tragic. While in Kenya, we visited an elephant orphanage, where the majority of the young elephants had lost their mothers too poachers. The problem has become significantly worse (poachers kill up to 25,000 elephants a year.Sigey, a college freshman, invented a relatively simple device that would let officials know when poachers are sneaking onto wildlife preserves, to keep this from happening. Pretty Awesome.

5. Janet is here!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited that my mom is here visiting. She is currently still sleeping , so I have the morning to work until she gets up, and I am just happy to have her here so we can go shopping and prep for baby. Yesterday, we went through everything we have so far, so she and I have a definite vision of what still needs to be done in the 6 weeks before he gets here.

6. Best baby present ever- When I was really little I got Shiny (the bunny on the left) for Christmas, and I was so excited about her that I made most of my family members stand a closet with me to watch her glow in the dark. She remained the Queen Bitch of all my toys from then on, and clearly went through her share of wear and tear (under the hat the ears and hairbow are stubs, the fluffy bangs are long gone, the eyes are mostly scratched off, and she cannot actually be washed back to white). Clearly, I am fond enough of her that she and The Boy's childhood Teddy came with us to the West Coast. My Mom thought is would be cool to get a second shiny for the new baby, and with my brother's help, she finally found one on Ebay. Just one of the sweetest gifts ever, and also kind of shocking to see what Shiny looked like 20+ years ago. Shiny 2 will hang out with Bumbo Baby, and I hope he loves her just as well!

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