How Do Christians Give Gifts at Christmas?

Today is Black Friday, and that supposedly means the beginning of the Christmas season. Really? A day of sales and crazy lines for printers and tv's is how we kick off our celebration of the birth of Jesus? If Jesus were alive today, do you think he would go to Walmart for that crazy deal? So why is this such a significant part of our Christmas?

Don't get me wrong. I love gift-giving. It is my love language, and honestly, I have bought and receivd some great gifts in my time. I take it seriously, because I really love to show people how much I care about them. I have family members who are ridiculously great gift givers.  But I can't figure out where the balance is between being a good Christian and really celebrating Christmas, and that seems like such a weird conflict to me. I would never ever suggest someone is a bad Christian because they buy a lot of gifts or because of where they buy them from, but I do think there are parts of these decisions that aren't often considered from a religious perspective, and maybe they could be.

Even though I write this blog, I find it easy to get caught up in the desire to buy great gifts, but the more I think about it, the more I question where the line is between gift-giving that brings people closer together and closer to God vs. gift-giving that really has lost the plot. This is a weirdly personal question, and I think the answer might be different for everyone, but I think it's a question worth asking.

This topic has been looming large in my mind the past few weeks- exactly how does our family celebrate Christmas in a way that is faith-based instead of revolving around commercialism? I mostly don't talk about my faith on this blog for a couple of reasons:

1. I make money off this blog (no, not a lot. So far, I have made a whopping 11 dollars) and I don't think Jesus or my relationship with him makes a good product or brand. I think there is a reason that Jesus got so angry when he saw people selling things in a temple. Christianity and commercialism don't mix that well in my opinion.

2. I don't think what I write about is exclusively useful to Christians. Or Liberals. Or environmentalists. The whole point here is that taking care of the Earth is everyone's task, and our over-consumption is everyone's problem. We may all come at it different ways or for different reasons, but changing our approach to material things is beneficial to anyone, no matter their walk of life or how seemingly small the step.

That being said, I do think first of my fellow Christians and my own lived faith this time of year.

And when did we start looking to businesses (whose primary goal by definition is to make money) to be arbiters of our faith? If this day is sacred to us, why would we want Starbucks to use it to sell more coffee? Why would we be so willing to see it sold out, but even worse, be offended when companies aren't using it to schlep cheap goods? Something is wrong here.

I will be honest with you. I am not throwing our Christmas tree away, and I will still be giving presents to loved ones in the next month. At the same time, I am ready to stop just talking the talk about what a shame it is that Christmas is so commercialized. It's time to make a change.

 I think it is time for some concrete goals. Read on if you are with me.

Why Do Christians Give Gifts?

Christmas gifts are important to Christians first because the three wisemen brought gifts for the baby Jesus when he was born. More symbolically still, the gifts refer to Jesus himself as a gift given to the world. In other words, our gifts are meant to mimic the amazing and miraculous gift-giving of God. Lucky for all of us, gifting is apparently His best love language.

The other symbols at Christmas spin off of these two themes. Santa Claus is a modern incarnation of Saint Nicholas, a 4th century Greek bishop who was known specifically for his generosity and giving. He gave to strangers, primarily, which resonates with the wisemen figures, who gifted to Jesus Christ, not to each other.

During the Middle Ages, the stocking tradition was tied to Saint Nicholas's name day, towards the beginning of December. He put gifts in their socks. During the reformation, Martin Luther tied this generosity to the gift of Christ, and Saint Nicholas moved his sock-filling a little later.

Gift giving has moved dates more than once too- because it was modeled after the wise men, some Christian traditions, especially Catholicism, gave gifts at or until Epiphany in Januray (ever wonder where the 12 days of Christmas comes from?).

The Christmas Tree is only about a thousand years old, but the fir tree was part of Pagan rituals before that. Now, it is said to symbolize everlasting life. Which is also a pretty massive present when you think about it.

So even Santa Claus, who often gets a bad rap as the stand in for all Christmas commercialism, ties right back to the gifts of the wisemen and the gifts of Jesus Christ. So this is a part of our tradition, but how does a few humble gifts in a sock turn into gift mountain?

So then, How much is too Much? 

Whatever I think is just enough, it should probably still be less than that. The story of St. Nicholas is about small gifts that make a big difference. The wisemen brought grand but also small gifts.

Right now, the average American parent spends 271 dollars a kid on Christmas gifts. We are in such a rush for our gift shopping that Black Friday is creeping into Thursday. When talking to kids about Christmas, the most commonly asked question is about what they want for themselves.

This obsession with buying gifts, so so many gifts, is costing us in so many ways.

Our generation works constantly to afford all the things we want, rather than spending time together.

Our committed searches for the best deals encourage companies to drop their standards around labor and materials. Jobs are outsourced to places where they can treat people badly. Tons of fossil fuels are  wasted needlessly so those slightly cheaper crayons can travel half way around the world.

I want to underline this again, other human beings also created by God and in His image are treated worse than we can imagine so we can get that cheap gift. In the past few years, it has come out that there are factories using child and slave labor. A factory making clothes for Walmart and other stores YOU shop from was in such poor conditions that a fire killed hundreds of people.

This is not a thing out there that some other mean person did. We helped in this, and we need to change it.

And it doesn't stop there. Those big piles of gifts cause other problems as well. Trees are being cut down at rapid rates when we need them most to keep our air clean and our temperatures down. Beaches are covered daily in garbage, like the plastic those cheap toys come wrapped in. Landfills are filling up and our children's water is being poisoned with plastic.

Now, if we see the planet as a beautiful gift from God, one of the best gifts He has ever given us, how does it make sense to celebrate a day praising Him by destroying his Earth? Or letting people he created be treated that badly? How is that good stewardship?

It would be comforting to feel like this is out of our control, but honestly, most of us are responsible.

Every time I buy something made in Elsewhere, I send the company the message I don't mind, so they will keep doing it. Everytime I buy some cheap piece of junk because it is on sale, I send the market the message that I care more about a good deal than quality or ethics. We are part of the problem, but that means we can be part of the solution too.

We as the body of Christ need to take steps to solve the problem. Now, this is all super depressing, which is the opposite of what you want to feel this time of year, but I think it has potential to be really great.

My suggestion? We start at Christmas. We start cutting down the gifts we buy. We look into more eco-friendly options for the gifts we do buy. This isn't about refusing gifts from others or judging how they live their lives, it's about self-assessing and finding a balance that feels right for each of us individually.

I have 3 new goals this Christmas to keep my giving in line with my faith and my charge to be a steward.

First, is to only buy things that I don't think are doing harm or dishonoring God. I will buy used to keep things out of landfills and to save money. When I have to get a gift new, I will buy things that are environmentally-responsible and made as locally as I can find.

Second, to cut down the number of gifts significantly. No gift mountain here.

Third, to introduce more traditions about giving outside of our household instead of within it. To make donating and giving a regular part of our holiday routine.

So how do We Change our Traditions? 

It's easy enough to say "We will buy less this year," but then the pile looks too small. Or the gifts don't seem quite even. Or it is just so fun to watch a toddler open a gift. I know for myself, it is so so easy to get carried away.

So the real answer is that a Christian Christmas tree can look any number of ways and that "too much" is so different for each person. It's subjective, and I honest to goodness am not out to judge people. Just to figure it out myself.

I have heard the "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read" idea, and it is a good idea for limiting gifting, but it doesn't have much to do with Christmas. I would make it the birthday rhyme, but we have already decided on one gift and one experience/surprise as our family's birthday formula (awesome and it works).

I read this suggestion on my minimalism and motherhood post, and I want to share it with you, because maybe a variation would be perfect for your family:

"About 8 years ago my sister and I started the tradition of giving our kids 3 gifts each. At my house Santa brings them, at my sister's Santa only fills their stockings and the gifts are from mom and dad.

The gifts each have a meaning correlating with the gifts that the wise men brought to Jesus.

The first gift is their GOLD gift. It is their biggest gift and may be expensive, but not necessarily. It can be the one thing they REALLY want or it can be chosen by the giver. It signifies how valuable they are to the family. It is wrapped in gold paper or has a gold bow on it.

The second gift is their FRANKINCENSE gift. Frankincense was sacred and burned exclusively in the temple. This gift should have something to do with how your child "meets" with God. We've given devotional books, worship CD's, even a pocket cross, or a book that teaches a moral lesson. Frankincense is a white substance, so this gift is wrapped in white paper.

The final gift is their MYRRH present. Myrrh is a resin that was used to scent oils and perfumes. It was also used in preparing bodies for burial, and has special symbolism since Jesus came to earth as a baby only to later die for our sins. It is dark earthy substance so it is wrapped in brown paper. This gift can be something they anoint their body with, like perfume or shower gel, or simply a gift for their body. In the past my kids have received clothing or something to help them keep their body in shape (like skates or anything that helps them be active).

My children LOVE this tradition. I hope it makes someone's Christmas more meaningful."

If you want to read her inspiration, check out this blog. A commenter said that they do a similar thing, gold is something they want, frankincense is something they need, and Myrrh is an experience.

I love this idea, and I especially love the symbolism of the three kings creating a more direct and thoughtful connection to the nativity story. It keeps the number really low, which is important to us (if you buy 3 gifts instead of 30, you can put more thought and money into each one) but it also makes the link between what we do and why we do it spiritual instead of cultural. It more clearly connects what we see at church with what we do at home.

I want to add one other thing to this. These kings came to give gifts to strangers from a foreign land with faith they were worthy of that love. I want to be much more generous about giving out this year, not just within our family but to people who really need it. I saw a tradition of a reverse Advent calendar, where everyday in Advent we add to a basket of items to be donated elsewhere. I think my goal is to spend more time on helping others than shopping.

How do you incorporate giving to others in your family?

How do you manage Christmas gifts at your house? How many presents is too many? Do you think about how the gifts were made or who made them? Has anyone been successful at instituting a smaller, more stewardship-oriented Christmas at their house?

Most importantly, what does being a Christian steward mean to you and how do you live that out at Christmas time?

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Ten Ideas for Raising a Minimalist Kid

I want my children to have less than I did.

I know this sounds crazy. Who says that? The American Dream includes the idea that we all give our children more than we had. If we are good parents, we dream for abundance for our children. That if we are doing things right, our children have more than we had.

What happens if we want our children to have less?

At the very least, I want my children to have less stuff.

I don't think I have fewer dreams for my children than any other generation of parents did, and I do want them to have more in some ways- more adventures, more stability, more sushi than I did, but I think in the long run, we will do our children a tremendous service if they have less possessions, less spacious living, less baggage.

Before you get offended on my lovely parents' behalf (I am grateful for my upbringing and my husband's), hear me out. We are offered so many conveniences and gadgets to help manage our life, but those conveniences come at a deep cost that our children and grandchildren will have to pay.

-Too much costs our kids their healthy food and water. The (then still relatively new) disposable diapers our parents used for us 20 or 30 years ago still have 400 years on this planet, in the landfills and soil our children will eat from and the water they will drink. These options are way more prominent now- those HORRIBLE snack pouches can't be recycled, so you have saved 3 minutes now, but that pouch will outlive your grandkids. Not actually that great a deal.

- Too much costs our kids the environment. The plastic toys we played with will also outlive our children, and how many do you really remember? Why not only get used or recycled plastic toys for our kids?

- Too much costs our kids their future jobs. Because the market creates a demand for LOTS of toys (more toys is better than better toys), parents are looking for toys that are cheap. To make cheap toys, mainstream companies like Fisher Price and Melissa and Doug make all their toys in China. Those cheap toys mean someone is treated badly, fossil fuels are completely wasted in shipping, and more American jobs that can't compete with the prices fold. So fewer American jobs.

-Too much costs our kids their own happiness. Overconsumption when they are kids set them up for unhealthy habits through adulthood. If something breaks, replace it instead of fix it. More will make you happier (it's proven it never does). We all have to ask when these piles of stuff stop helping us and instead weigh us down.

- Too much costs our kids their time with us. It's well-documented that new American parents are pretty miserable. Some of these problems- like a cultural lack of a support system- can't be solved this way, but other's can. On average, our generation of parents lives in 1000 square foot larger homes than our parents did. What are we doing with all that space? And think of how much time all that extra space (and stuff that fills it) takes- we have to clean all of that! And if you have a toddler, you know life is like 80% cleaning. If we live in smaller spaces, our houses may not scream abundance and variety, but we win a lot of time back to just spend with our kids.

This dream of bigger and better keeps us working that much harder to just survive, when just surviving can be hard as it is. I see these beautiful pictures of children's spaces that look modern and pristine, not overun with toys, books, and clothes. I don't think my house will ever be that minimalist, and I am certainly still new at this. But the idea of effectively giving my children less has been on my mind a lot (especially as I fight the instinct to buy leading up to the birth of my second), so I thought I would share the ideas I have had.

1. Say Goodbye to Cable

Enough opinions are floating around about screen time (it rots your kids' brain vs. screenphobia is just the latest stand against Stay at Home Moms), but my beef isn't with a screen. Pick the amount of screen time that works for your family, Netflix it up, but stay away from media with ads. When you have cable, or you are watching any programming directed at children, you need to weed out these overstimulating and overpromising snippets.

Ads are designed to send a constant message- you aren't enough, you don't have enough, and that you won't be happy until you have this thing.

This is a pretty dangerous game of desire for anyone, much less kids. And before you roll your eyes and think your child is above it, just remember that these people really, really know what they are doing. They get degrees in how to send that message. They do research on how to do it most effectively. They get paid millions of dollars to do it. This is a serious business, and they are good at it. But, there is no law saying your kid needs to watch things that tell them what they want. You get to choose what normal is, and do your kids a favor by keeping cable out of your home.

2. Just Stay Away from the Toy Section

In the same way, kids can't want every toy on the shelf if they don't know what is on the shelf. Stay out of the toy sections of most stores, and they won't know every little thing that is out there. Will this save you from the occasional tantrum in the grocery store? Nope. Does it mean your child will never want toys they see at friends' houses? Nope. Is this guaranteed to save you from Elsa or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Nope. But it does make wanting stuff less a part of their regular life.

When we are at Goodwill, I will let my son pick out one thing to take home. Anywhere else, he can look, even touch, but nothing is coming home with us. The less time we spend in Target's toy aisles, the less I have to have this fight.

3. Slow Your Roll Out

My sister in law taught me this, and it is genius. When her son would get a giant pile of loot from a birthday or Christmas, she just packed a bunch back up and gave them out when he seemed bored with the last thing. After Christmas, let 2 or 3 gifts stay out, and everything else goes into storage. As the previous gifts wear out (over weeks and months), another new object can come out.

We love that feeling of abundance, that fantasy of the super full Christmas tree, but gifting that way isn't very practical and the kids can't appreciate it anyway.

Kids can only process so much at a time, so those big gift mountains seem cool, but lots of toys get lost in the shuffle. Most children do get sick of things. Instead of constantly needing new toys, you just use what they were already gifted and Christmas last much longer! Our son is too little to know the difference, and we can make one holiday last for months.

from Mum in the Madhouse

4. Make Giving a Family Tradition and Habit

At Christmastime, many families have an advent calendar with treats inside. What if this year, each member of your family gave one thing away every day in Advent. You could do it for Lent too! To teach your kids about taking better care of the Earth, you have to illustrate the act of giving. Let them pick toys to gift.every day during the holiday season, then go together as a family to give it away. Have your spring cleaning tradition include a big family day where you drop things off and donate things to charities. Let them participate with you on Buy Nothing once a month. Pick what works for you, but pick something and include your little ones.

 I whole-heartedly believe that we have to model the behavior we want to see from our children, so if you want them to be generous (and non-materialistic), then you have to make giving a regular part of life. It well help your house stay cleaner, help them assess what they really care about, and in the end could be such a fun tradition!

5. Clean Out the Toys and Clothes Every 3-6 Months and Give a Third Away

 Even two years in, I can see how quickly the toy collection flies off the rails.You receive gifts from grandparents or hand me downs from friends, and the pile gets bigger. Man, they can take over everything! The key is not only to buy less, but to clean out more, so get in there and send things off that never clicked with your kid.

Right now, The Bub is too little to really understand what is going on when I do this, but he is always present, and someday he will just think it is normal. It's not about throwing things away, it's about sharing with other people who might enjoy it more. I have gotten some of his favorite toys at Goodwill or on Buy Nothing, so I think it is my responsibility to keep putting back into these resources as well.

6. Don't Buy More Storage, Cut Out Stuff

It can be so tempting when the toys are taking over to think of more storage solutions. I get that, and I am not saying we don't have a plastic tub of toys in the basement, but before you get another toy box, book shelf, or hot wheels shelf, why not just give things away? To have a house that makes sense, you need places for everything to go. If you no longer have enough destinations for toys, maybe there are too many toys. If you have so much storage that your kid can't see all of their toys in a day, you probably have more than they need.

passed to us by a neighbor, passed on to a third child in the neighborhood

7. Swap, Borrow, and Get it Used

The difference between a minimalist lifestyle and a house full of toys is seeing possessions as temporary. Join a library and you always have a resource for new books (and a place to connect with other moms and kids). Join your local freecycle or Buy Nothing groups, you can pass kids stuff around. Just ask friends if they want to do book or toy swaps to switch things up in your house.

 I feel like as kids, we treated our toys and collections like they were essential parts of our identities, and it made it hard to let them go even as adults. But your kid can still love Frozen without having every Elsa and Anna item in the world (is that even possible? God bless Disney and their marketing genius). Only a few things can be precious, everything else should be moved around before it sticks to a spot on the shelf.

Every parent of a toddler is constantly encouraging them to share (it's tough!), but this is a way to push that a step further, treating sharing as a part of life.

8. Have Confidence They Have Enough

This is easy to say but so hard to feel. Parents right now are under constant pressure about how they manage their kids, their time, their money, everything. We can look around and see someone else who is doing a better job in various ways. We feel self-concious because that Stay at Home mom gives them so much time (and loves to talk about it). We feel frustrated because we can't give our kids everything they want. We try to compensate by giving little gifts because we can see how happy it makes our kids, even for a second.

We have to have confidence we are giving our kids what they need. Parenting is so tough, because success can me so hard to define or measure- how do you ever know if you are doing alright? Sometimes shopping is as much about ourselves as our kids, because we can at least feel certain we are providing. A bigger house or well-dressed kid makes us feel like we are filling their needs well, not just enough.

But you are doing more than enough just by caring. There isn't a void that you need to fill. It's a cliche, but your kid really does just want to be with you. Go to a playground instead of a store, and you will give them something worth remembering. Get clothes and toys used and save your money. Your kid doesn't know the difference, and you just have to keep building yourself up that you are  doing great at this job just by caring and getting in there. I don't know how to build this confidence more other than reminding ourselves, but it's a constant battle we need to fight. Buying mostly doesn't make us do a better job, but getting in there does.

9. Use What You Have

We all know kids love cardboard boxes, but it is amazing how far you can make one cardboard box go for play time. Blanket forts make amazing memories too, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.

At my job, people donate all sorts of objects that could be "art supplies" for a shopping space and classes for kids. This includes baby food jars, toilet paper rolls, flooring samples, jewelry boxes, gift wrap, broken crayons- all kinds of stuff we tend to see as junk and throw away. But you reframe that for a kid (turn the jewelry box into a robot, use the toliet paper rolls to make fireworks, make a "home" for a stuffed animal), and you can provide hours of entertainment, conversation, learning, and creativity. This isn't conjecture, it is my job and I see it all the time. Junk, when mixed with creative framing, is always an opportunity. Need a rattle? Clean and fill an old bottle with beans.

 That kind of creative play isn't always easy to come up with, so thank goodness we live in the time of pinterest. You can find so many ideas on there.

10. Slow it Down and Just Be Together

I know I am so guilty of this one. As an introvert parent of an extreme extrovert, I often feel desperate for a minute to just catch my breath (or check my email), and some days I know I don't enjoy the time with my kid as much as I should. I feel sometimes like toys are partially just tools to give parents a minute.

Whenever an older generation parent tells me "Oh it goes so fast," I try hard not to roll my eyes. Really? Because this sleep deprivation is making everything move in slow motion.

But there is a lot of wisdom in the suggestion to let things go and slow down to our kids' speed. It doesn't mean we don't get those minutes or that we don't deserve a break while working and parenting, but when you are going to be there, really be there.

 The Bub and I have literally spent hours (this week) playing with a baseball hat and a pair of kitchen tongs. Even with older kids, you don't need many objects to have a perfectly great time. Go for a walk. Go to a playground. Just listen to them. Children are just tiny human beings, and they just want heard like everyone else. A game of tag (or robot tag) can be more fun than any toy, so the more you can focus when the quality time comes, the fewer things you need.



So there you have it, buy less and give more. Change the goals and you may just raise kids who aren't as caught up in this consumerist minefield we are all trying to navigate right now. We both know it creates a lot more work, a tremendous number of problems, and very little of the happiness or solutions that we are constantly promised. We can protect our children's futures from waste and from that constant want by shifting our attitudes now. Let's give ourselves a freaking break and give our kids less.

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Green Christmas- An Impossible Shopping List

I had The Boy send me another Christmas list for this year. He is a tough one, because really doesn't want much of anything. If he feels like we need it, he has probably already bought it. But maybe you also have an impossible to shop for person in your life?

 It's tough when you are trying to be eco-friendly, because you don't want to buy wasteful gifts, but it is also probably a bad idea to get your partner nothing for Christmas (unless you guys have worked that out between yourselves, of course). So here are my best responses to his requests, and hopefully it helps you with the impossible person you have on your list!

from Topos Designs

Hooded Rain Jacket

 I hate hoods, but having multiple umbrellas destroyed by the wind, I am coming to understand why people don't use them in Seattle. 

Here are a couple I have found some pretty awesome rain jackets. Also, super expensive. I am not sure whether to go this route, but if i do, this is all he is getting. Plus, I imagine this would get daily use for many years, so maybe it is worth doing something more substantial.

Freeman Rain Jackets- If you are going to buy a rain jacket, maybe do it from a company in Seattle. We know rain. This jacket was made by a couple who couldn't find a jacket they liked, so they made their own. Freeman jackets are basic in a good way. Again, ridiculously expensive, but completely made in Seattle. You can read more about them here.

Topos Designs- I love the style of these two-toned mountain jackets from Topos. The Boy got a backpack from them that is tough without being too outdoorsy and practical without being gigantic. This Colorado-based company is a gem. Again, not cheap, but it would last a long time.

Patagonia- This company is beloved by environmentalists (even bourgeois ones like me) because  environmental responsibility is at the center of their mission as a company. You can track their supply chain, and even though it is all over the world, you can see exactly how their labor is treated. This year, they even donated all of their Black Friday profits (some 10 million dollars, not chump change) to grassroot environmentalist groups. Plus, they make great coats and fleeces.

Columbia also makes an eco-friendly rain jacket out of recycled water bottles. I am pretty excited about their ideas, so be sure to check them out.

Jeans

 I am down to 2 pairs that I actually like that fit. 

He has started shopping for these on his own (see?!? I told you. He makes it so hard because he just does it himself!) and the two he has found that he likes (he told me not to say "really likes." They haven't earned it yet) are from Gustin and Flint and Tinder.

The Boy is on to something; jeans are one of those things that actually have a ton of made in America options. They are expensive, so you need to have a smaller wardrobe of jeans to make it work. Maybe only 3 pairs would do the trick. Gustin and Flint and Tinder both specialize in lower price premium denim (between 80 and 100 dollars a pair), but you still aren't going to buy a pile of them as gifts.

Ok, more options for jeans, because plenty exist:

Levi's have some, but not a lot, so make sure before you buy. Naked and Famous (another "entry level" option, made in Canada), Earnest Sewn, Imogene and Willie, J Brand, Mission Workshop, AG Jeans, Jean Shop, LC King, Rogue Territory, Roundhouse Jeans (super affordable), Rag and Bone,  Raleigh Denim Workshop, Rising Sun Manufacturing Co, Self Edge, Tellason, The Stronghold, and Baldwin Denim.

I'm telling you, blue jeans and  craft beers are crazy easy to find made in the USA. Check out the links. Even if they are expensive, get one pair of great jeans and wear them all the time, and they will last you longer than three pairs of junky jeans.

from American Giant

Zip up Hooded Sweatshirt

American Giant. Not the cheapest, but they are made in the USA, super soft, and they LAST. I bought The Boy sweatpants from them last year, and they still get tons of use. American Giant is worth checking out.

American Apparel. Like American Giant in that it is made sweatshop free in the US. Just comes with a lot more sexism and the constant threat of leaving.

If you want something with more style, check some of the jean companies from above. There are plenty of hoodies out there, I just think simpler is better.

Oyster Shucker Kit

 Dexter Russell does make two oyster knives. There is a difference between them, but I can't tell what it is. I found one cut resistant glove as well. Still goes to show you can get the randomest things made in America.

Silicone-tipped Kitchen Tongs 

I worry that I'm poisoning us using the metal tongs on nonstick.

Dang it, Husband, you bested me (but thanks for trying not to poison us). I can't find any silicone-tipped tongs made anywhere nearby. Edlund makes a set of tongs in the US, but they don't have the silicone tip. Check your local Goodwill? This is good advice no matter what kitchen gadget you are on the lookout for. Goodwill has all the kitchen stuff.

Navy Gingham Shirt

 I've been trying to replace one of my favorite shirts that bit the dust last year. I think it was from American Eagle? I went through a serious gingham phase starting about 4 years ago with that shirt. Frank and Oak make my favorite (the Branford gingham) that I own in at least 3 colors, but their navy is super-almost-black dark, so I never kept it, and all of their stuff is definitely not made in the US

Ok, this one is so tricky, because it is so specific. My favorite options are from the New England Shirt Company, but I don't think any are the exact print he wants.

  Gitman Bros has some options that look perfect, but they are 200 dollars, which seems like way too much for a shirt to me. I really like the choices from Individualized Shirts, though it does look like the fabric comes from all over the place.

Baldwin and Filson has blue plaid shirts, but nothing gingham. Rambler's Way has great shirts as well, but nothing gingham.

from The Up North Market

A New Scarf

 I haven't actually figured out scarves as an adult man, but the one I do own was attached by moths

 I should say, as his wife, this man is not getting a scarf. At least not from me. His neck has never been that cold, and I feel like the only guy that can pull of a scarf is my dad. But I can show you where to look in case you know a man who can rock one.

You could make a scarf. Yes, you. Crocheting and knitting are relatively easy skills to learn if you don't know already, and you can get something with more meaning that costs WAY less money.

I found a couple of scarves that are crazy expensive, though I imagine a man only buys so many scarves in his life, so maybe that isn't a big deal? I honestly can't imagine buying an Alexander Olch scarf for 270 dollars. Seriously, I cannot imagine how you justify that purchase. Steven Alan makes scarves as well.

Really, if you want to buy a man a scarf without breaking the bank, Etsy is the place to look (you knew I was going to say it, but it's true!) Autumn Moon Threads has a great looking one that is pretty reasonable. I mostly don't love infinity scarves, but these ones from the Up North Market look pretty stylish and like they would actually keep you warm.  If you want to get a crazy expensive one, Fitch Studio Weavers have gorgeous and masculine scarves.

You can also find TONS of vintage scarves. Just stay out of the Target or Walmart section. You can do better for this one.

from Vintage Kitchen Tools

Potato Ricer

For Perfect Gnocchi.

Etsy (or Ebay). You can find TONS of potato ricers on Etsy and Ebay. Not all are in usable condition, but plenty are. Start looking used, because these can last long beyond one owner and used is always an eco-friendly choice!

I looked all over the place for a made in America ricer option, but it seems like they are all made in elsewhere now. But that is ok. Get one used.

Pokemon Sun

Gotta Catch'em All.

I guess this one is unavoidable. Especially in this house. Sadly, if you want a game this new, buying it used isn't really an option.

A Few More Ideas... 

Date Night- If you are like us, a date night is a pretty precious thing. Why not hire a babysitter for one night a month that you can count on? Or, get a bunch of gift certificates to different restaurants you want to try? Season tickets for the theater to guarantee a bunch of nights out? An activity-based gift might be perfect for someone who seems to have everything they want.

Spices or Cookbooks- We love a good cooking challenge in our house. We spend a lot of our nights in the kitchen, so opportunities to try something new is always good. We love Cooks' Illustrated and America's Best Test Kitchen best, and you can find all sorts of cool Made in America spice rubs, mixes, and sauces at places like Sur La Table or Williams Sonoma.

A Music or Movie Service- If you know someone impossible, get them money for Netflix or Amazon Prime so that they can spend their money another way. It's a simple gift, but it might be a great one.

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Five Favorite Etsy Stores- Advent Calendar

I want to keep highlighting amazing makers in the US, and I feel like my Etsy links can get caught in the more mainstream shuffle. So starting a series to focus on the greatest stuff we have found. 

Nomad Fine Art

Advent gets downplayed in the hustle and bustle of the season, but I know it has a pretty big role in our house. An advent calendar seems to be spiritual enough that it doesn't have a huge market (thank goodness) but you can get an amazing and meaningful advent calendar on Etsy. Of all the things I have researched this season, these might be my favorite. 

Baby What Knots (Indiana)- I LOVE this one so much. You can buy a little tree and 25 little ornaments to go with it. Really pretty and would look great in a kid space or even a minimal space without room for the tree.

Nomad Fine Art (California) sells a bunch of advent calendars that are modern, thoughtful, beautiful, and shockingly cheap. I especially love the clip and copper pipe ones, because I think you could incorporate it into a reverse Advent calendar, where each day leading up to Christmas you donate belongings as a family. These look so cool, and you could use them in so many ways to best fit your family's traditions.

Knoll Wood Lane (Missouri)- These simple unfinished wood boxes could look a million different types of beautiful depending on how you decorate it. I think this could be really cool, or even make a great gift for a couple's first Christmas. Even though this is simple, it is my favorite. If you are more of a felt DIYer, check out the Sugar House Shop.

N and B Specialties (South Carolina) makes art for your home out of reclaimed wood (one of my favorite things). They have a simple and rustic Advent tree that would look good with lots of decor but I think it looks even cooler like this outside! I love how sweet and simple this one is.

French Melody sells cool printables, but this flock of advent sheep is my favorite by far! If you are going to do it, put it on recycled paper, so you are supporting a nearby small business AND saving a tree from coming down! Double win! Also, this looks like a fun project to do with a teen or older child (or awesome adult).

Want even more eco-friendly and local shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Ethical and Eco-Friendly Shopping Lists. 

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Green Christmas: A Crafty Wishlist

My mother-in-law is the kind of person who sees something she likes on Pinterest, and then she actually makes it. Weird, I know. They aren't even total fails like the Crayon Pumpkin Disaster of 2012. She is always up to some project, and even has a craft room in her house! Here is a handful of my favorite Momalope projects:

She even made all of our Christmas stockings:

She can be a tough one to shop for, but craft supplies make for a great gift. She made me a list of things she could use for Christmas, most of which are for her crafting, and I will throw in a few other green options for all of you crafty people at the end! One of the best things we can do to be kinder to the environment is make things ourselves, because you are sure to get only what you need, you know the labor is kindly treated, and it doesn't travel far, so if you have someone in your life who is a maker, support that habit! Because they are awesome.

ok heres a few things to get you started on a list.

1 . a new sewing machine

.2.A new bike (that's for Pete really). 
3. Project Life Stuff 
4. New photo albums always. 

5. a bike rack for our truck

from Patina Market

1, Sewing Machine- MIL is looking either for a cheap one to give to my sister or a really nice one so she can give her old one to my sister. I hate to say it, but this might be one where she has me stumped. I have found a few made in Japan (from Janome, which are well-reviewed and described as "no frills" machines), so you are at least dealing with higher labor standards, but I honest to goodness can't find any made here in the US. 

I did find a few good sewing accessories made in the US- Sparkling Pumpkin sells measuring tape and pretty crotchet hooks out of Massachusets, this thread organizer was made here, you can also buy TONS of sewing patterns on Etsy (love this idea- you can help them discover a new idea and it is really affordable). Lastly, you can buy fabrics that were made in the US that they might find inspiring- like this felt or this plaid (this Austin store also sells yarn). You could also gift a cute needle minder or an amazing pin cushion like this one from Craft Hands Full Heart.

from Shinola Detroit

2. Bike- I know nothing about bikes, so I feel ill-prepared to give advice on this front. If we are being completely honest here, I live in constant fear of bicycles on the road- it's like someone is throwing a precious porcelain heirloom at you and you have to catch it. They make me so nervous. And when I was on foot at Stanford, I was hit by a bike more than once. So I have some bitterness towards bicycles, proving once again that I am a very poor environmentalist.

The good news is that so many bikes are still made in the US, so not only is it so eco-friendly (and healthy) to travel by bike, you can find good options easily (unlike those sewing machines- what the hell!). You have tons of options, and they all live in Portland (ok, I kid, but not much). Since I don't know anything about bicycles, I will just list the ones I found from cheapest to crazypants expensive to holy crap what- Worksman Cycles (370), Shinola Detroit (1000), Antbike Mike, Hufnagel, Signal Cycles, Six Eleven Bicycles, Independent Fabrication Bikes, Rivendell Bikes, (2300), Bilenky Cycle Works, Vanilla Bicycles (their waitlist is years long- crazy), Steelman Cycles (3000),Pereira, MAP Bicycles, Richard Sachs Cycles(5000). Metrofiets makes bikes with a seat or storage in the front.

from amazon

3. Project Life Stuff- It may sound like a Pro-life think tank, but Project Life is actually a scrapbooking system by Becky Higgins with a serious following, and my MIL loves a good scrapbook. Higgins writes a pretty fun little blog and has lots of ideas about how to best document life. I really like the stuff, and it's a good idea to stick with a system if you don't need that constant creative control but you still want some pretty scrapbooks.

I can't tell for sure where their products are made (I see one mention of "imported"), but if you wanted to be eco-friendly, you could go with the digital app instead, and your scrapbooker could print only what they needed in their own home (Project Life has Shutterfly books now, so that might be something to try as well). You could also go with a gift card?

If you have a scrapbooker who doesn't necessarily use Project Life, you can find some other supplies on Etsy. I love these cut out map circles from Tanith's Odd and Ends that would be a perfect theme for a travel scrapbook (and stand as a good reminder you can re-use any paper in a scrapbook). Straight Home sells kraft paper scrapbook sheets so you can use recycled paper as the base of your scrapbook. I also love their collection of stamps- you can find anything you need and reuse them forever. You can also find stamps from Rubber Hedgehog and in consignment stores.

You can also get Made in the USA scrapbook paper from companies like Scrapbook Customs, Cardstock Warehouse, Thunderbolt Paper, or Reminisce.

from Gallery Leather

4. Photo Albums- This one goes straight to my heart, because I would really love to find some Made in America photo albums as well. We have had awesome luck finding frames at consignment stores, but the albums are often pretty wonky looking. I have consistently used those Pioneer albums, but they are made in China, so I have to break that habit. On one shopping trip, I discovered Gallery Leather, which makes all of their photo albums in Maine (yay!). They look a little more sophisticated than I would have gone for before, but they aren't crazy expensive and they will get the job done! New favorites.

I did find a couple other options that look pretty good. Most of the US-made albums seem to be leather, including these ones from McKinley Leather, Journey Leather, and Rustic Ridge Leather (The Boy gave me one of their albums for our anniversary, and it is so special I can't decide what to do with it yet). Parker Photo Albums are made here too, and come in a variety of sizes and album types. Album source has a whole Made in America section, so you can find lots of choices.

As a side note, this might be a great opportunity to do a creative gift as well! You could make them a book on a site like Shutterfly (they print their books in the US, but not a lot of their gifts) or Artifact Uprising, I am currently obsessed with Artifact Uprising, who also make their books out of recycled paper, but I haven't mastered it yet. A gift certificate to one of these sites might also make a perfect gift- you can store as many pictures in one of those books, and there is a lot less plastic involved. I think it really encourages people to finally put those pictures to some use! Do other people use other book design sites? What would you recommend?


5. A Bike Rack- They don't just need a bike, they need a way to get those bikes down to the bike trail, so they don't have to bike on the road and scare poor drivers like me. Again, tons of great options! I love it! Our pick- Saris makes bike tray hitch racks that you can get in various sizes on REI or amazon. Not cheap, but good for a family maybe, or this truck mount is pretty affordable.Thule also sells bike racks but they are even more expensive for really hardcore bikers. Surco has a ladder-mounted option.

You can also get a hitch tightener in case something doesn't fit right or you want to improve something they already own (because not getting something new when you already have it is one of the most eco-friendly things we can all do). You can also get all sorts of tools, baskets, stands, and safety bands from REI made in America, so you can find a good gift for the biker in your life.

A Few More Ideas for the Crafter You Love

First of all, Etsy sells all sorts of craft supplies and materials, so if you can't find what you are looking for in consignment (Seattle has it's own art supply consignment store- Seattle Recreative- so your neighborhood might have some cool options as well), start there! No reason not to make eco-friendly decisions here.

Candlemaking Supplies- This might be a cool, crafty hobby, and I know we have received homemade candles as a gift and loved it. You can get wicks and beeswax or soy wax on Etsy from local sellers! Not very expensive either.

Felt- We have bought tons of felt from Etsy for our various projects, and it always works better to pick the specific colors we need than to buy big sets when we can't use a lot of it. Busy Little Bird has tons of color options, and lots of different set sizes to choose from. I think a fun pile of felt might make a really cool gift for the right person!

from Shan C Studio

Mosaic Tiles- I have always thought mosaics are so cool. I want to be the kind of person who makes mosaics, or has one of those tables with a mosaic top in their yard. If you have someone in your life who likes making mosaic, you can find all sorts of cool and recycled tiles to buy them for inspiration. I think these mosaic tiles from Shan C Studio would make so many gorgeous things. I have noticed that inspiration is half the battle, so if you can find inspiring materials like these, you could be giving a real gift! Discount Mosaic Tiles sells oodles of options, and Rainy Day Mosaics sells recycled tiles.

Screenprinting Kit- I know, this diy screenprinting kit is off the beaten track in terms of crafting, but i think it might be just up your crafter's alley, and it would make for a fun new experiment or project. Good if you are looking for something new and surprising. They may be opening their own Factory in no time!

from Ananemone

Tags- If you have a sewer you love in your life, you could get them these personalized tags from Ananemone to put in the clothes that they make! I seriously love this idea, so thoughtful and simple.

from Amazon

Yarn- With yarn, start in consignment. At Seattle Recreative, we always have a huge selection of yarn. Someone gave me the advice that you can get really great yarn at estate sales and consignment stores. This is the darkest advice I've been given since starting this series if you think about it too long. Still, if you have a knitter or crotcheter in your life, it may also be useful advice. Cheap, good yarn is hard to beat! If you are looking for something very specific, there are plenty of made in America options as well. Lion Brand makes their (100% acrylic) yarn in the US, I have used Red Heart Super Saver Yarn before, and it is not the softest but it is made here and holds together well, so it's great for learning or for kitchen towels. NY Lamb yarn is 80% wool and much softer, while still being pretty affordable.

Still feeling inspired to shop? Awesome! Check out my Big List of Shopping Lists and go greener and more local this Christmas! Buy less and buy better!

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