Green Christmas 2016: Let's Do This!

Yes, it is early to talk about Christmas.

No, I am not a person with their tree up already.

But this is a blog about living more, buying less, and spending our money on things that do some good. All of those concerns will loom large the next few months. Plus, etsy purchases can take time.

So, let's do this.

We as Christians love to bemoan the ways the Christmas message has been lost, and I can't help but agree. It has become about catching the biggest sale (ugh Black Friday- leave Thanksgiving alone!) and the visual affirmation of success through abundance. We want to see those piles under the tree, but why?

I know I love to see a mountain of presents under the tree- gifting is my love language, and I can't help but send the message "HOLY CRAP I LOVE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH" this time of year. I think that big pile can also tell people that they are doing ok, that they are providing, that their kids are happy, etc. When life gets hard, it can be a signal things can still be good. But as much as I get the instinct to celebrate this way, the way I see Christmas gifting is radically changing.

Our gifting mirrors the gifts of the Magi, but on a deeper level, it mirrors the gift God gave the Earth- his son! He did the ultimate good for the world by giving this gift, and I truly believe we should try to model our gift giving after this. Instead of looking for a deal or making sure each child has an equal pile of goodies, could we ask "How will this gift do good?"

A gift that does good changes the criteria from which we make our choices- it's no longer "will he like it?" or "will this be enough?" or "can I find this cheaper?"

Shopping to do good means paying attention to how the object was made- "was the person who made it treated with respect?" It can also refer to how it was sold- "does buying this help my community?" It could be about the environment- "Does this gift create more waste for landfills or use a ton of energy getting here?" By paying attention to these issues, we shift our gifting paradigm, and we can make a profound difference in this world and in our families.

Consumerism in America is out of control. In 2012, they estimated an average American spends 846 dollars on gifts for Christmas. That's a ton of money! This means, Christmas is one of the most important times to think about making a positive difference with your shopping. People have too much stuff already, and it takes away from our lives. It also destroys our landscape. Our gifts create landfill waste and use tons of fossil fuels. Committing to buying less but better, less plastic, practical, and more local gifts can change the world. Especially if we all make this change.

Your shopping can do good if you think about it this way- 

We often hear cliched statements about how Christmas isn't about gifts or spending, but that is honestly easier said than done. This blog aims to give some actual strategies about how to make Christmas great without so much stuff.

Buy Less. Don't buy 3 cheap gifts. Buy 1 good one. Don't get stuck with that picture of the tree in your head, and spend money on non-physical gifts like gift cards for dinner out or tickets for a cool experience. Make something yourself.

Buy Used. Fight the stigma against used items. You can find an amazing pair of boots or kitchen items at a steal just by starting at consignment shops first. Check you Buy Nothing Project. Look for toys or items that use post-consumer recycled materials.

Buy Local, Buy American. Support your community and your country by shopping at locally-owned stores instead of Walmart and Made in America items instead of things made elsewhere.

Is local and American more expensive? Yep. But if you buy fewer gifts and fill in the blanks with used items, it can add up to about the same. You are just spending your money in a different way.

This is a huge commitment, but you can break it into sizes that don't overwhelm.

I am not suggesting you have to do this for every gift (even though it would be cool if you did). Make a plan, make a list, and figure out which things you can do this for. You can even think about how to change what you ask for when people ask. This is all about baby steps, and if you think about it at all, then that is pretty damn awesome.

You could try making part of your gift this year. Or just start your shopping at local businesses and thrift stores. You could rethink what you really need and will ask for yourself. Every Christmas season, we shell out oodles of money to buy gifts for all our loved ones. If we all did commit 100 dollars to local businesses, or things manufactured in America, or recycled/ used gifts, we could make a HUGE difference!

So the blog in November and December is all about inspiring a new approach to Christmas shopping. One where we can finally accept it really is the thought that counts, not the money spent.

Most importantly, this is totally doable. I am going to post more friends and family wishlists (throwbacks from last year and new ones- people send me your lists!), so you can see that you can get almost anything recycled or Made in America. I am going to post ideas of how to wrap in a more eco-friendly way (how can we wrap creatively to make the wrapping part of the gift?), and even more stocking stuffers Made in America (therefore, using so much less fossil fuel!). I am going to research Christmas pajamas and where you can get local, American-made candy all over this country. I have some awesome Etsy lists for you (I do love some Etsy).

Now, I know my Dad is pulling his hair out at the thought of me writing these Christmas lists through 2 months (he hates the skip over Thanksgiving), but hear me out. I cannot in good conscience encourage last minute Etsy shopping, because that is a fool's game. When you are buying things from people, not giant corporate machines, sometimes part of what you are investing in is a slower  process. It does not mean that you should let consumerism take over your season starting today, and PLEASE save the Christmas music until after Thanksgiving!

I am also really into the idea of giving as a family tradition, so look out for Advent giving plans and ideas of where and what to donate this Christmas (some of the big organizations, like Operation Christmas Child, have major problems, but that doesn't mean they all do).

So, join me in setting some new goals this Christmas- if you care about stewardship and you want to make your Christmas about more than sales at the mall, resolve to only buy things Made in America or fair-trade.

If you care about the environment, think about how you can create less waste this season! There are so many great ideas out there.

The amazing thing is, if you care about one of these things, you will make a positive change for all of them. If a company cares about these things, not just about making the most money possible, they often attend to other ways to do good as well. Putting your money there sends mainstream companies the message that if they want your money, they have to do better too, which is a pretty awesome message for us to send (over and over).

You don't have to make it impossible for yourself, just join me in trying to do better this Christmas. And let me know about what you are finding, what you are looking for, and what purchases you are most excited about!

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How Do Christians Give Gifts at Christmas?

Today is Black Friday, and that supposedly means the beginning of the Christmas season. Really? A day of sales and crazy lines for printers and tv's is how we kick off our celebration of the birth of Jesus? If Jesus were alive today, do you think he would go to Walmart for that crazy deal? So why is this such a significant part of our Christmas?

Don't get me wrong. I love gift-giving. It is my love language, and honestly, I have bought and receivd some great gifts in my time. I take it seriously, because I really love to show people how much I care about them. I have family members who are ridiculously great gift givers.  But I can't figure out where the balance is between being a good Christian and really celebrating Christmas, and that seems like such a weird conflict to me. I would never ever suggest someone is a bad Christian because they buy a lot of gifts or because of where they buy them from, but I do think there are parts of these decisions that aren't often considered from a religious perspective, and maybe they could be.

Even though I write this blog, I find it easy to get caught up in the desire to buy great gifts, but the more I think about it, the more I question where the line is between gift-giving that brings people closer together and closer to God vs. gift-giving that really has lost the plot. This is a weirdly personal question, and I think the answer might be different for everyone, but I think it's a question worth asking.

This topic has been looming large in my mind the past few weeks- exactly how does our family celebrate Christmas in a way that is faith-based instead of revolving around commercialism? I mostly don't talk about my faith on this blog for a couple of reasons:

1. I make money off this blog (no, not a lot. So far, I have made a whopping 11 dollars) and I don't think Jesus or my relationship with him makes a good product or brand. I think there is a reason that Jesus got so angry when he saw people selling things in a temple. Christianity and commercialism don't mix that well in my opinion.

2. I don't think what I write about is exclusively useful to Christians. Or Liberals. Or environmentalists. The whole point here is that taking care of the Earth is everyone's task, and our over-consumption is everyone's problem. We may all come at it different ways or for different reasons, but changing our approach to material things is beneficial to anyone, no matter their walk of life or how seemingly small the step.

That being said, I do think first of my fellow Christians and my own lived faith this time of year.

And when did we start looking to businesses (whose primary goal by definition is to make money) to be arbiters of our faith? If this day is sacred to us, why would we want Starbucks to use it to sell more coffee? Why would we be so willing to see it sold out, but even worse, be offended when companies aren't using it to schlep cheap goods? Something is wrong here.

I will be honest with you. I am not throwing our Christmas tree away, and I will still be giving presents to loved ones in the next month. At the same time, I am ready to stop just talking the talk about what a shame it is that Christmas is so commercialized. It's time to make a change.

 I think it is time for some concrete goals. Read on if you are with me.

Why Do Christians Give Gifts?

Christmas gifts are important to Christians first because the three wisemen brought gifts for the baby Jesus when he was born. More symbolically still, the gifts refer to Jesus himself as a gift given to the world. In other words, our gifts are meant to mimic the amazing and miraculous gift-giving of God. Lucky for all of us, gifting is apparently His best love language.

The other symbols at Christmas spin off of these two themes. Santa Claus is a modern incarnation of Saint Nicholas, a 4th century Greek bishop who was known specifically for his generosity and giving. He gave to strangers, primarily, which resonates with the wisemen figures, who gifted to Jesus Christ, not to each other.

During the Middle Ages, the stocking tradition was tied to Saint Nicholas's name day, towards the beginning of December. He put gifts in their socks. During the reformation, Martin Luther tied this generosity to the gift of Christ, and Saint Nicholas moved his sock-filling a little later.

Gift giving has moved dates more than once too- because it was modeled after the wise men, some Christian traditions, especially Catholicism, gave gifts at or until Epiphany in Januray (ever wonder where the 12 days of Christmas comes from?).

The Christmas Tree is only about a thousand years old, but the fir tree was part of Pagan rituals before that. Now, it is said to symbolize everlasting life. Which is also a pretty massive present when you think about it.

So even Santa Claus, who often gets a bad rap as the stand in for all Christmas commercialism, ties right back to the gifts of the wisemen and the gifts of Jesus Christ. So this is a part of our tradition, but how does a few humble gifts in a sock turn into gift mountain?

So then, How much is too Much? 

Whatever I think is just enough, it should probably still be less than that. The story of St. Nicholas is about small gifts that make a big difference. The wisemen brought grand but also small gifts.

Right now, the average American parent spends 271 dollars a kid on Christmas gifts. We are in such a rush for our gift shopping that Black Friday is creeping into Thursday. When talking to kids about Christmas, the most commonly asked question is about what they want for themselves.

This obsession with buying gifts, so so many gifts, is costing us in so many ways.

Our generation works constantly to afford all the things we want, rather than spending time together.

Our committed searches for the best deals encourage companies to drop their standards around labor and materials. Jobs are outsourced to places where they can treat people badly. Tons of fossil fuels are  wasted needlessly so those slightly cheaper crayons can travel half way around the world.

I want to underline this again, other human beings also created by God and in His image are treated worse than we can imagine so we can get that cheap gift. In the past few years, it has come out that there are factories using child and slave labor. A factory making clothes for Walmart and other stores YOU shop from was in such poor conditions that a fire killed hundreds of people.

This is not a thing out there that some other mean person did. We helped in this, and we need to change it.

And it doesn't stop there. Those big piles of gifts cause other problems as well. Trees are being cut down at rapid rates when we need them most to keep our air clean and our temperatures down. Beaches are covered daily in garbage, like the plastic those cheap toys come wrapped in. Landfills are filling up and our children's water is being poisoned with plastic.

Now, if we see the planet as a beautiful gift from God, one of the best gifts He has ever given us, how does it make sense to celebrate a day praising Him by destroying his Earth? Or letting people he created be treated that badly? How is that good stewardship?

It would be comforting to feel like this is out of our control, but honestly, most of us are responsible.

Every time I buy something made in Elsewhere, I send the company the message I don't mind, so they will keep doing it. Everytime I buy some cheap piece of junk because it is on sale, I send the market the message that I care more about a good deal than quality or ethics. We are part of the problem, but that means we can be part of the solution too.

We as the body of Christ need to take steps to solve the problem. Now, this is all super depressing, which is the opposite of what you want to feel this time of year, but I think it has potential to be really great.

My suggestion? We start at Christmas. We start cutting down the gifts we buy. We look into more eco-friendly options for the gifts we do buy. This isn't about refusing gifts from others or judging how they live their lives, it's about self-assessing and finding a balance that feels right for each of us individually.

I have 3 new goals this Christmas to keep my giving in line with my faith and my charge to be a steward.

First, is to only buy things that I don't think are doing harm or dishonoring God. I will buy used to keep things out of landfills and to save money. When I have to get a gift new, I will buy things that are environmentally-responsible and made as locally as I can find.

Second, to cut down the number of gifts significantly. No gift mountain here.

Third, to introduce more traditions about giving outside of our household instead of within it. To make donating and giving a regular part of our holiday routine.

So how do We Change our Traditions? 

It's easy enough to say "We will buy less this year," but then the pile looks too small. Or the gifts don't seem quite even. Or it is just so fun to watch a toddler open a gift. I know for myself, it is so so easy to get carried away.

So the real answer is that a Christian Christmas tree can look any number of ways and that "too much" is so different for each person. It's subjective, and I honest to goodness am not out to judge people. Just to figure it out myself.

I have heard the "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read" idea, and it is a good idea for limiting gifting, but it doesn't have much to do with Christmas. I would make it the birthday rhyme, but we have already decided on one gift and one experience/surprise as our family's birthday formula (awesome and it works).

I read this suggestion on my minimalism and motherhood post, and I want to share it with you, because maybe a variation would be perfect for your family:

"About 8 years ago my sister and I started the tradition of giving our kids 3 gifts each. At my house Santa brings them, at my sister's Santa only fills their stockings and the gifts are from mom and dad.

The gifts each have a meaning correlating with the gifts that the wise men brought to Jesus.

The first gift is their GOLD gift. It is their biggest gift and may be expensive, but not necessarily. It can be the one thing they REALLY want or it can be chosen by the giver. It signifies how valuable they are to the family. It is wrapped in gold paper or has a gold bow on it.

The second gift is their FRANKINCENSE gift. Frankincense was sacred and burned exclusively in the temple. This gift should have something to do with how your child "meets" with God. We've given devotional books, worship CD's, even a pocket cross, or a book that teaches a moral lesson. Frankincense is a white substance, so this gift is wrapped in white paper.

The final gift is their MYRRH present. Myrrh is a resin that was used to scent oils and perfumes. It was also used in preparing bodies for burial, and has special symbolism since Jesus came to earth as a baby only to later die for our sins. It is dark earthy substance so it is wrapped in brown paper. This gift can be something they anoint their body with, like perfume or shower gel, or simply a gift for their body. In the past my kids have received clothing or something to help them keep their body in shape (like skates or anything that helps them be active).

My children LOVE this tradition. I hope it makes someone's Christmas more meaningful."

If you want to read her inspiration, check out this blog. A commenter said that they do a similar thing, gold is something they want, frankincense is something they need, and Myrrh is an experience.

I love this idea, and I especially love the symbolism of the three kings creating a more direct and thoughtful connection to the nativity story. It keeps the number really low, which is important to us (if you buy 3 gifts instead of 30, you can put more thought and money into each one) but it also makes the link between what we do and why we do it spiritual instead of cultural. It more clearly connects what we see at church with what we do at home.

I want to add one other thing to this. These kings came to give gifts to strangers from a foreign land with faith they were worthy of that love. I want to be much more generous about giving out this year, not just within our family but to people who really need it. I saw a tradition of a reverse Advent calendar, where everyday in Advent we add to a basket of items to be donated elsewhere. I think my goal is to spend more time on helping others than shopping.

How do you incorporate giving to others in your family?

How do you manage Christmas gifts at your house? How many presents is too many? Do you think about how the gifts were made or who made them? Has anyone been successful at instituting a smaller, more stewardship-oriented Christmas at their house?

Most importantly, what does being a Christian steward mean to you and how do you live that out at Christmas time?

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Ten Ideas for Raising a Minimalist Kid

I want my children to have less than I did.

I know this sounds crazy. Who says that? The American Dream includes the idea that we all give our children more than we had. If we are good parents, we dream for abundance for our children. That if we are doing things right, our children have more than we had.

What happens if we want our children to have less?

At the very least, I want my children to have less stuff.

I don't think I have fewer dreams for my children than any other generation of parents did, and I do want them to have more in some ways- more adventures, more stability, more sushi than I did, but I think in the long run, we will do our children a tremendous service if they have less possessions, less spacious living, less baggage.

Before you get offended on my lovely parents' behalf (I am grateful for my upbringing and my husband's), hear me out. We are offered so many conveniences and gadgets to help manage our life, but those conveniences come at a deep cost that our children and grandchildren will have to pay.

-Too much costs our kids their healthy food and water. The (then still relatively new) disposable diapers our parents used for us 20 or 30 years ago still have 400 years on this planet, in the landfills and soil our children will eat from and the water they will drink. These options are way more prominent now- those HORRIBLE snack pouches can't be recycled, so you have saved 3 minutes now, but that pouch will outlive your grandkids. Not actually that great a deal.

- Too much costs our kids the environment. The plastic toys we played with will also outlive our children, and how many do you really remember? Why not only get used or recycled plastic toys for our kids?

- Too much costs our kids their future jobs. Because the market creates a demand for LOTS of toys (more toys is better than better toys), parents are looking for toys that are cheap. To make cheap toys, mainstream companies like Fisher Price and Melissa and Doug make all their toys in China. Those cheap toys mean someone is treated badly, fossil fuels are completely wasted in shipping, and more American jobs that can't compete with the prices fold. So fewer American jobs.

-Too much costs our kids their own happiness. Overconsumption when they are kids set them up for unhealthy habits through adulthood. If something breaks, replace it instead of fix it. More will make you happier (it's proven it never does). We all have to ask when these piles of stuff stop helping us and instead weigh us down.

- Too much costs our kids their time with us. It's well-documented that new American parents are pretty miserable. Some of these problems- like a cultural lack of a support system- can't be solved this way, but other's can. On average, our generation of parents lives in 1000 square foot larger homes than our parents did. What are we doing with all that space? And think of how much time all that extra space (and stuff that fills it) takes- we have to clean all of that! And if you have a toddler, you know life is like 80% cleaning. If we live in smaller spaces, our houses may not scream abundance and variety, but we win a lot of time back to just spend with our kids.

This dream of bigger and better keeps us working that much harder to just survive, when just surviving can be hard as it is. I see these beautiful pictures of children's spaces that look modern and pristine, not overun with toys, books, and clothes. I don't think my house will ever be that minimalist, and I am certainly still new at this. But the idea of effectively giving my children less has been on my mind a lot (especially as I fight the instinct to buy leading up to the birth of my second), so I thought I would share the ideas I have had.

1. Say Goodbye to Cable

Enough opinions are floating around about screen time (it rots your kids' brain vs. screenphobia is just the latest stand against Stay at Home Moms), but my beef isn't with a screen. Pick the amount of screen time that works for your family, Netflix it up, but stay away from media with ads. When you have cable, or you are watching any programming directed at children, you need to weed out these overstimulating and overpromising snippets.

Ads are designed to send a constant message- you aren't enough, you don't have enough, and that you won't be happy until you have this thing.

This is a pretty dangerous game of desire for anyone, much less kids. And before you roll your eyes and think your child is above it, just remember that these people really, really know what they are doing. They get degrees in how to send that message. They do research on how to do it most effectively. They get paid millions of dollars to do it. This is a serious business, and they are good at it. But, there is no law saying your kid needs to watch things that tell them what they want. You get to choose what normal is, and do your kids a favor by keeping cable out of your home.

2. Just Stay Away from the Toy Section

In the same way, kids can't want every toy on the shelf if they don't know what is on the shelf. Stay out of the toy sections of most stores, and they won't know every little thing that is out there. Will this save you from the occasional tantrum in the grocery store? Nope. Does it mean your child will never want toys they see at friends' houses? Nope. Is this guaranteed to save you from Elsa or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Nope. But it does make wanting stuff less a part of their regular life.

When we are at Goodwill, I will let my son pick out one thing to take home. Anywhere else, he can look, even touch, but nothing is coming home with us. The less time we spend in Target's toy aisles, the less I have to have this fight.

3. Slow Your Roll Out

My sister in law taught me this, and it is genius. When her son would get a giant pile of loot from a birthday or Christmas, she just packed a bunch back up and gave them out when he seemed bored with the last thing. After Christmas, let 2 or 3 gifts stay out, and everything else goes into storage. As the previous gifts wear out (over weeks and months), another new object can come out.

We love that feeling of abundance, that fantasy of the super full Christmas tree, but gifting that way isn't very practical and the kids can't appreciate it anyway.

Kids can only process so much at a time, so those big gift mountains seem cool, but lots of toys get lost in the shuffle. Most children do get sick of things. Instead of constantly needing new toys, you just use what they were already gifted and Christmas last much longer! Our son is too little to know the difference, and we can make one holiday last for months.

from Mum in the Madhouse

4. Make Giving a Family Tradition and Habit

At Christmastime, many families have an advent calendar with treats inside. What if this year, each member of your family gave one thing away every day in Advent. You could do it for Lent too! To teach your kids about taking better care of the Earth, you have to illustrate the act of giving. Let them pick toys to gift.every day during the holiday season, then go together as a family to give it away. Have your spring cleaning tradition include a big family day where you drop things off and donate things to charities. Let them participate with you on Buy Nothing once a month. Pick what works for you, but pick something and include your little ones.

 I whole-heartedly believe that we have to model the behavior we want to see from our children, so if you want them to be generous (and non-materialistic), then you have to make giving a regular part of life. It well help your house stay cleaner, help them assess what they really care about, and in the end could be such a fun tradition!

5. Clean Out the Toys and Clothes Every 3-6 Months and Give a Third Away

 Even two years in, I can see how quickly the toy collection flies off the rails.You receive gifts from grandparents or hand me downs from friends, and the pile gets bigger. Man, they can take over everything! The key is not only to buy less, but to clean out more, so get in there and send things off that never clicked with your kid.

Right now, The Bub is too little to really understand what is going on when I do this, but he is always present, and someday he will just think it is normal. It's not about throwing things away, it's about sharing with other people who might enjoy it more. I have gotten some of his favorite toys at Goodwill or on Buy Nothing, so I think it is my responsibility to keep putting back into these resources as well.

6. Don't Buy More Storage, Cut Out Stuff

It can be so tempting when the toys are taking over to think of more storage solutions. I get that, and I am not saying we don't have a plastic tub of toys in the basement, but before you get another toy box, book shelf, or hot wheels shelf, why not just give things away? To have a house that makes sense, you need places for everything to go. If you no longer have enough destinations for toys, maybe there are too many toys. If you have so much storage that your kid can't see all of their toys in a day, you probably have more than they need.

passed to us by a neighbor, passed on to a third child in the neighborhood

7. Swap, Borrow, and Get it Used

The difference between a minimalist lifestyle and a house full of toys is seeing possessions as temporary. Join a library and you always have a resource for new books (and a place to connect with other moms and kids). Join your local freecycle or Buy Nothing groups, you can pass kids stuff around. Just ask friends if they want to do book or toy swaps to switch things up in your house.

 I feel like as kids, we treated our toys and collections like they were essential parts of our identities, and it made it hard to let them go even as adults. But your kid can still love Frozen without having every Elsa and Anna item in the world (is that even possible? God bless Disney and their marketing genius). Only a few things can be precious, everything else should be moved around before it sticks to a spot on the shelf.

Every parent of a toddler is constantly encouraging them to share (it's tough!), but this is a way to push that a step further, treating sharing as a part of life.

8. Have Confidence They Have Enough

This is easy to say but so hard to feel. Parents right now are under constant pressure about how they manage their kids, their time, their money, everything. We can look around and see someone else who is doing a better job in various ways. We feel self-concious because that Stay at Home mom gives them so much time (and loves to talk about it). We feel frustrated because we can't give our kids everything they want. We try to compensate by giving little gifts because we can see how happy it makes our kids, even for a second.

We have to have confidence we are giving our kids what they need. Parenting is so tough, because success can me so hard to define or measure- how do you ever know if you are doing alright? Sometimes shopping is as much about ourselves as our kids, because we can at least feel certain we are providing. A bigger house or well-dressed kid makes us feel like we are filling their needs well, not just enough.

But you are doing more than enough just by caring. There isn't a void that you need to fill. It's a cliche, but your kid really does just want to be with you. Go to a playground instead of a store, and you will give them something worth remembering. Get clothes and toys used and save your money. Your kid doesn't know the difference, and you just have to keep building yourself up that you are  doing great at this job just by caring and getting in there. I don't know how to build this confidence more other than reminding ourselves, but it's a constant battle we need to fight. Buying mostly doesn't make us do a better job, but getting in there does.

9. Use What You Have

We all know kids love cardboard boxes, but it is amazing how far you can make one cardboard box go for play time. Blanket forts make amazing memories too, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.

At my job, people donate all sorts of objects that could be "art supplies" for a shopping space and classes for kids. This includes baby food jars, toilet paper rolls, flooring samples, jewelry boxes, gift wrap, broken crayons- all kinds of stuff we tend to see as junk and throw away. But you reframe that for a kid (turn the jewelry box into a robot, use the toliet paper rolls to make fireworks, make a "home" for a stuffed animal), and you can provide hours of entertainment, conversation, learning, and creativity. This isn't conjecture, it is my job and I see it all the time. Junk, when mixed with creative framing, is always an opportunity. Need a rattle? Clean and fill an old bottle with beans.

 That kind of creative play isn't always easy to come up with, so thank goodness we live in the time of pinterest. You can find so many ideas on there.

10. Slow it Down and Just Be Together

I know I am so guilty of this one. As an introvert parent of an extreme extrovert, I often feel desperate for a minute to just catch my breath (or check my email), and some days I know I don't enjoy the time with my kid as much as I should. I feel sometimes like toys are partially just tools to give parents a minute.

Whenever an older generation parent tells me "Oh it goes so fast," I try hard not to roll my eyes. Really? Because this sleep deprivation is making everything move in slow motion.

But there is a lot of wisdom in the suggestion to let things go and slow down to our kids' speed. It doesn't mean we don't get those minutes or that we don't deserve a break while working and parenting, but when you are going to be there, really be there.

 The Bub and I have literally spent hours (this week) playing with a baseball hat and a pair of kitchen tongs. Even with older kids, you don't need many objects to have a perfectly great time. Go for a walk. Go to a playground. Just listen to them. Children are just tiny human beings, and they just want heard like everyone else. A game of tag (or robot tag) can be more fun than any toy, so the more you can focus when the quality time comes, the fewer things you need.



So there you have it, buy less and give more. Change the goals and you may just raise kids who aren't as caught up in this consumerist minefield we are all trying to navigate right now. We both know it creates a lot more work, a tremendous number of problems, and very little of the happiness or solutions that we are constantly promised. We can protect our children's futures from waste and from that constant want by shifting our attitudes now. Let's give ourselves a freaking break and give our kids less.

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Don't Buy American Greetings, Instead Try...

This blog series "Don't Buy... Instead Try..." intends to point out some of the most egregiously unethical, wasteful, and environmentally ridiculous companies out there. Instead of dwelling on their considerable awfulness, the series will focus on the other options you have for purchasing.

Every purchase we make is a vote for the kind of world we want. 
Every single purchase is political.
 Every single purchase has ethical ramifications, and 
every single purchase should be approached with a spirit of stewardship. 

We can change the world by refusing to fund extreme greed, the mistreatment of other human beings, and the trashing of the environment. We need to stay aware of the many choices available to us. Will we get it right every time? No. But if we all make little changes, we can send companies a new message, that consumers will show up if they do the right thing. 

from Wikipedia

Card shopping. In general, I find it heartwarming that people have a tool to articulate things they wouldn't have words for themselves. Plus, it sometimes means you get mail, which is basically my favorite thing ever. My mom and my aunt are both extremely thoughtful card shoppers, and my mom will browse the whole section before she picks the card she wants. It's pretty cute.

In terms of environmental-friendliness or All-American shopping, they can be a trickier deal. When you look through cards at a store, you may not be likely to look on the back to see where it is made or to see if the paper is recycled, but trust me, it's worth it. The cards most jacked up to get your attention, with noise or pop ups or extra doodads, are probably made in China. Bummer. Also, did you know button batteries in cards are baby death machines? They are the things nightmares are made of, but I digress.

If you don't want to switch everything you buy, practice some bougie environmentalism or light consumer patriotism when you buy your greeting cards. It's easy because,

1. You are already reading the card. Just turn it over and read the back.
2. You can find good options in most card sections.
3. It's easy to spot the cruddier companies. Look for a red rose.

American Greetings is one of the major card companies in the United States, second only to Hallmark in sales. And they claim to be the largest in the world. It makes sense. You can find them everywhere.The offices are based in Ohio, but the rest of the story isn't as simple.

Ironically, despite their name, the company is not made in America at all. They must mean American Greetings from China. This company, that also makes gift bags and wrapping paper, has moved all of it's manufacturing to keep prices cheap.

So many questions. Cheap, but at what cost? How many trees really need to come down for you to send your cousin a birthday card? How far is too far for shipments of greeting cards to travel? Why call your company American Greetings if you aren't American at all?

On their website, the company describes their "mission" as to make the world a more civil place. Nice, who can disagree with that? Except, they don't mention one word on how the people who make their cards are treated. Or how they treat the environment. When looking at all of those little actions that make up who they are, it becomes clear that they aren't following their own mission, it's just a bunch of empty feelgoodery nonsense. This exact machinery of capitalism, where we say we want people to be kinder to each other while knowingly stomping on others, is a huge part of why incivility and competition has taken over our culture, and I am ready to see a change.

So boo, no more American Greetings, and when you can, you can find good independent options all over the place. But even if all you do is read the backs of the cards in Target and only buy ones Made in America, you are still doing more good than someone who doesn't care at all. Let's all stop buying imported cards- it makes no sense, and it isn't worth it. Plus....

SO MANY GOOD OPTIONS EXIST! HUZZAH!!!

1. St Jude Fundraiser Cards- St Jude's Ranch is a place for children and their families to recover. To raise money for this very important space, they recycle donated cards (gluing old card fronts on new cardstock) and sell them to make money. Can you think of a better way to buy cards? Even better, you can donate all the cards you have kept to them! Check out their website here.

2. Arbor Day Give a Tree Cards- I absolutely love this idea. You can buy greeting cards (I think made on all-recycled paper? I read that before but can't find it now), and for every card you buy, they plant a tree. So you could buy your Christmas cards in bulk and celebrate the season by helping plant trees! It is such a cool idea, because these cards can cut down on waste and help make the Earth that much cleaner and healthier.

3. Make the Card Yourself- We bought a bulk pack of recycled kraft paper cards, and I have used them for everything from little notes, thank you cards, even our son's first birthday invitations. We bought a pack of alphabet stamps, and we will use the same stuff over and over again. No trees are coming down for our cards, and hopefully we are making a lot less waste. Plus, it is pretty fun to come up with ideas and work on them together.

from Alisa Bobzien

4. Etsy Cards- Etsy has so many cards, funnier and sillier and sometimes more touching than anything you can find in stores. You can search for a card perfectly personalized to the receiver. They have 400,000 choices of cards on that site, so there isn't a chance I can cover them all here. I bought my hubby this gem for Father's Day and this one just because. Five more great sources for Made in America and recycled greeting cards on Etsy- Le Sentiments, Alluring Prints, Bubby and Bean, Creature Comforts NYC, and Live Beautifully Paper.

5. Maggie's Quill- These Maggie's Quill cards are not just hilarious, but they are made in the US and out of recycled paper! You have so many good choices for cards, there is really no reason to buy something Made in Elsewhere or with fresh paper. Recycled paper is best!

More Options- Green Field Paper Company, Crane and Co, Night Owl Paper Goods, Pumpernickel...

And if all else fails, most (but not all! Nothing with batteries or extra doodads) Hallmark cards are still made in the US. This company did move some manufacturing away, so please check the back. Every card will tell you where it was made somewhere on there. If you are going to rush shop a card in a pinch, I think you are better off starting with Hallmark cards than many of the other cheap brands at places like Walmart or Walgreens.

Want more shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Shopping Lists.

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Don't Buy American Girl Dolls, Instead Try...

This blog series "Don't Buy... Instead Try..." intends to point out some of the most egregiously unethical, wasteful, and environmentally ridiculous companies out there. Instead of dwelling on their considerable awfulness, the series will focus on the other options you have for purchasing.

Every purchase we make is a vote for the kind of world we want. 
Every single purchase is political.
 Every single purchase has ethical ramifications, and 
every single purchase should be approached with a spirit of stewardship. 

We can change the world by refusing to fund extreme greed, the mistreatment of other human beings, and the trashing of the environment. We need to stay aware of the many choices available to us. Will we get it right every time? No. But if we all make little changes, we can send companies a new message, that consumers will show up if they do the right thing. 

from The Odyssey Online

Every girl in America in the 90's got the American Girl catalogs as regular mail to flip through. I think I read the vast majority of the historical fiction books that went with each doll. They covered an amazing spread of American history, from slavery to immigration to the effect of war on families. Pretty impressive when you think about it, and the dolls actually won the Oppenheim Toy Portfolio Award multiple times for their educational value as well as play.

I don't remember being impressed deeply by the historical accuracy, but I loved the outfits. You could buy the dolls pajamas, dress up clothes, all the good stuff. I think Samantha was my favorite because she had the best stuff, though eventually Molly won me over. I mean, who can fight mid-century with glasses. I also went through an Addy phase and a Kiersten phase.

Remember, I never owned one of these dolls, though I did have tons of their books. That's how great I thought they were. I had a favorite without ever owning one.

So, it cuts me deep to do this to you, Molly.

Now, the company looks very different. Many of these historical dolls have been phased out and they have mega American Girl Doll Stores, not just the catalog. Go ahead, accuse me of just being bitter that they have discontinued all of my childhood dolls. It might be a little true, but it is only part of the story...

American Girls are all made in China. They aren't all that American at all.

American Girl dolls are also very expensive- 115 dollars a doll without any accessories. When a product made with cheap labor is this pricey, it's worth it to us to ask where the rest of that money goes to. Maybe before this was because the Pleasant Company still manufactured stateside, and they were only available by mail order. In 1998, the company became a subsidiary of Mattel.

Did you know Mattel (of Barbie fame) also owns American Girl dolls? And that all of that nonsense is made in China?  Mattel is another company that started out "All-American" but have since moved all of their labor overseas. So it is hard to feel too excited about Barbie's more "inclusive" line up when Mattel just got busted (yet again) for unsafe conditions for their workers.

 In 2015, both Mattel and Hasbro (the two most mainstream toy brands) failed inspections for the safety and treatment of their workers. They did so badly that they failed most of the Chinese labor laws for hiring and breaks, which is pretty impressive when you read how low those bars are. They began to be under scrutiny after a string of suicides by a sister company's workers. I hate this. I hate thinking that a child's toy, a desperate grab for a teeny bit of money, could be that destructive.

Equally disturbing is Mattel's history of very unsafe toys being made in these places. In 2007, the company recalled Barbies, Cars toys, and more because they had lead paint and unsafe magnets in them. 19 million toys had to be recalled for these reasons. Don't fool yourself, companies like these, with incredibly lax and irresponsible regard for their workers don't care more about you. If they can get away with poisoning your kids to make money, they probably will. Not exactly the American Dream, and a far cry from the really thoughtful designs that the American Girls began with.

Want to read more about how Mattel and Hasbro try to cheat their audits and refuse to comply with labor standards? Ethical Consumer has written multiple reviews on this exact topic.

Perhaps because of Barbie's clearer association with this nastiness, the company chooses not to connect the two brands, but they are both made by the same people. Yuck.

So, don't buy American Girl Dolls, Instead Try... 

1. Get them Used- Eh, this one is way tougher than most of what we have talked about, because they do still have a perceived value. On Ebay "American Girl" brings up 42,000 hits, but the dolls are actually a little more expensive. When I was a kid, the dolls were in a glass case in the library- serious business. So you can find old Molly's or Addy's, but they may be pretty expensive. You could also ask around on your local Buy Nothing, but again, perceived or emotional value might make these hard to part with.

from Pockets with Posies

2. Pockets with Posies- I love these rag dolls so much, and even if they are a little different from the American Girl dolls, I feel like they are special enough to be treasured on a similar scale. I am pretty sure this (or something very like it) is the doll that my cousin bought her daughter for Christmas, but she will have to let me know, because it is just a guess based on looks. The store is moving off of Etsy soon, but you can see the new link there. The store owner collaborates with her clients, so you could get any kind of doll that works for you.

from Roving One

3. Roving One- These rag dolls are in a similar spirit, but I think they are a little more affordable. You may have to keep an eye out for one that speaks to you. I just think they are so adorable- those legs are ridiculously sweet and lanky. Plus, they are a whopping 75 dollars cheaper than an American Girl doll.

from Riley Construction

4. Riley Construction- I think these dolls, more so than any of these others have a distinct style. They also come in more iterations (including Mermaid). Maybe not historically accurate to the American Age of Mermaids, but they still look great!

5. Kaiya's Room- Her dolls also have amazing legs. Maybe the most cartoony as opposed to stylish, but still darn cute and bound to be somebody's favorite. I also like that she does dolls of both genders, because I don't like when these things get overly girly.

Looking at even more dolls- Twiice Loved, Made with Luck, Le Petite Melina, and Little Side Kick.

from Sew My Goodness

If you already have an American Girl Doll...

So you already bought one of these dolls or your kid received one as a gift. Don't panic! The key to living a green life isn't about being perfect, it's just about trying to do better. You can find tons of great accessories and clothes for the doll. And instead of shelling out for their way overpriced accessories, try looking on Etsy for cute clothes and accessories- tons are out there! Here are some stores that sell really cute accessories:

My favorite- Sew My Goodness
Beezies Custom Dolls
Fizzy Zig Zag (Star Wars Stuff)
Little Doll Closet
JoDee Petites
Hardwood Furniture
Sandi's Dream Creation
Sweet Flutters
Creative Kids Fashions
Little Prince Charlie
Harper's Fashion City
My Fair Cottage
Faux Real Food

See how many options you have? Tons. It may be slightly different from the vision you had for your kids and grandkids, but if they don't mind, why should you? Skipping out on the American Girl doll is a vote for toy manufacturing moving back to the United States and ethical labor. Because if you are going to buy a 100 dollar doll, shouldn't it at least have been made ethically?

Want more shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Shopping Lists.

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Throwback Thursday- 40 Quick and Easy Switches for Earth Day

I updated this slightly, because I originally wrote it with the threat of a dead battery looming (brought the wrong cord on a trip- oops!). All the links should work now. 

Today I was so encouraged to see tons of Earth Day posts and calls to treat the environment more kindly! Amen and Truth! The problem? It can be kind of vague- pictures of plants or watering cans, mentions of Leonardo DiCaprio, etc. That certainly has it's place, but it isn't all that specific, and I find specific goals make a lot more traction than abstractions.

This list isn't perscriptive; it is just a starting point for your own ideas and brainstorming. I started this blog because

1. The problems felt so big that there didn't seem to be a good place to start. The more I research, the more this feels like the opposite of the truth, because almost every decision we make in our daily lives can make a positive difference!

2. The resources for more eco-friendly living and shopping seemed scattered or overly radical, and in the end, if we all do a little, it can do just as much as one person doing a lot. So I want you to feel validated and empowered to keep trying, not to feel discouraged that you aren't doing every thing you could. Maybe someday, but trying now matters.

So here are 50 goals you could set to help clean up this world.  Pick 1. Feeling ambitions? Pick two. Take on choices you can sustain and let it grow!

1. Skip the plastic straw- The worst kind of trash that pollutes the water and hurts the sea life in it. They are also completely unnecessary if you aren't a toddler. Just say "No straws, please" when you are ordering your drink.

2. Get Less, Get it Used, Get it Local- Just buy less. So simple, but we all have way more stuff than we need! Yes that toy looks great- don't buy it. Yes, that top is on sale- don't buy it. Just buy less. And when you do need something, try to find it used. If you can't, find it as locally (or made in the US) as possible. You can do it- choices are available! We waste excessive, massive fuel and energy shipping stuff, most of which we don't need.

3. Go Plant Something- Cleaner air and water, better climate. Plant that herb garden you think about. Volunteer and plant a tree in a park. Nowhere to plant? Skip one meal out and donate the money to the Arbor Day Fountain or Plant a Billion Trees.

4.Small is the New Big. Less is the New More- We get the message over and over that we need the newest, biggest, best thing or we won't be happy. But who says? Change your ambitions about stuff- change the world. Pick one thing you are sure needs replaced and ask how you can make what you already have work.

5. Be Eco-Lazy- Don't run the dishwasher or laundry machine until it is totally full. It's not procrastination- it saves energy and water!

we got this table on buy nothing for free! 

6. Join a Buy Nothing or other Local Sharing Group- Buy Nothing Project builds hyper-local communities by creating a venue where people can ask for what they need or offer what they already have, 4 babies other than our own have used our Rock n' Play. That's 4 fewer sold and 4 fewer in the landfill later. I also know ten times as many of my neighbors as I would without it. Buy Nothing is the bomb, and if your neighborhood doesn't have one, take the leap and start one.

7. Recycled Plastic- They say ours is the "plastic generation" and that by 2050, there will be more plastic in the ocean than fish. Don't add more. You can find many plastic items, from toys to watering cans to pens out of recycled plastic, so don't settle.

8. Collect Water- You can go big and get a rain barrel to catch rainwater, or you can go much smaller and put a bucket in your shower for while our water warms up. Either way, you can water your plants completely with water that would have otherwise gone to waste.

9. Shop the Outside Edge of the Grocery Store- The healthiest and most eco-friendly (see: way less packaging!) food all lives on the outside of your store, where they can keep things cool and not frozen. Healthier than Healthy Choice? Fresh vegetables. Healthier and way less wasteful than the devil's baby snack pouches? An orange.

10. Carpool, Even Once a Week- Do you have public transit nearby? Can you walk to what you need? It may seem silly in less populous areas, but even when you aren't saving time with a carpool lane, you still keep that much less junk out of the air, even if you only do it occasionally.

11. Never Just Throw Away What You Would Buy- If you will spend money on tupperware, why just throw away those plastic yogurt containers? They are the same thing! Why buy cleaning cloths if your used up clothes and towels make perfectly good rags? Try to make the most of what you already have.

12. Quit Impulse Buys- You see it and want to buy it? Don't. It sounds easy, but I know it sometimes isn't. Instead, start a shopping list. When you see something you need "hey, we could use that fan!" put it on the list. You can easily check to see if there are recycled plastic ones (yes, there are) or made in America ones (yep, those too) available. You can also go to your local thrift shops and check there! A better choice is out there if you slow your roll. If an object sits on the list long enough, you know you probably didn't need it- time to move on.

13. Use a Smaller Garbage Can- It sounds crazy, but you throw out less if it accumulates quickly. Sometimes those huge cans make us numb to just how much we toss. What to do with the old can? Make it your recycling! You'll be amazed at how it makes you rethink your garbage strategies.

14. Bring Your Mug to Coffee- Buy a travel mug. Even better, buy an adorable, Made in America travel mug. Then stop getting those little coffee cups that are one time use instant garbage. Most places will put that coffee in your mug, and you could be saving hundreds of pieces of garbage from the landfill a year (depending on the severity of your addiction).

15. Make a List- When you leave to shop, even for groceries, have a plan in mind. This is not my strong suit, but my method of shopping ("hey, this scallop looks good! Hey I think I tried these cookies once!") makes for lots of extra waste.

16. Hello, Vintage- Fast fashion is on its way out. The perfect place to start your clothes shopping is in consignment or vintage stores. Check out Refashionista- you can do a lot with old clothes!

17. Buy Recycled Paper Towels- Why should trees come down for your messes? Try something like Seventh Generation's recycled paper towels instead, and cut down the number of trees that have to be cut down! Need more recycled paper inspiration? Check here.

18. Refurbish Old, Used Furniture- Why does anyone buy a new wood table? You can find tons of them just waiting for a new life. Beautiful, built to last way longer than the Target junk, and it often costs way less. Need a simpler goal? Slipcovers instead of a new couch.

19. Recycle- Seems obvious, but not everyone is doing it. Not available right where you live? Time to check out what your options are.

20. Switch Your Lightbulbs- This blog from Christmas looks into what would be most energy efficient and safe for lightbulbs. Worth it to make the switch.



21. Reusable Water Bottles- Remember when people thought it was a really good idea to build houses out of asbestos? I am certain that's how we will feel avout plastic water bottles- you pay for something you can get for free, so almost cartoonishly evil companies like Nestle (I kid you not, they are really that bad) can steal it, pit it in toxic and wasteful containers, and sell them to the public. Buy one water bottle to hold all your water and kiss one time use plastic bottles off forever.

22.No More Palm Oil- Horrible for the rainforests and our planet's biodiversity, but apparently great for shampoo, because it is in so many of them. Look out for palm oil and help contain the ripping down of the rainforest.

23. Use Natural Light- Don't turn on the lights unless you actually need to. Simple and pretty!

24. Use Reusable Bags! Plastic grocery bags make no sense and create so much of that waste our children and grandchildren will be desperate to get out of the water. Animals are mistaking them for food, and they keep finding washed up whales and other animals with stomachs full of plastic bags. Is the convenience worth it? I don't think so. End the cycle now and get reusable bags. If you forget them (I get it, we all have our days) opt for paper. But no more plastic bags.

25. Skip the Plastic Produce Bags- While we are at it, you are going to wash those asparagus anyway, so just keep one reusable bag open for all of your produce (the one exception might be jalapeno), and wash it all when you get home. I promise your oranges won't get their taste on your apples. Those little plastic bags are ridiculous. If you do want to separately bag your produce, you could use something like these.

26. Stop Your Unwanted Mail- You can do this! Lots of sites and numbers will help put a stop to all of that junkmail, and that's good for your sanity and your household's overall use of paper. Save the Earth, stick it to Oriental Traders, kind of makes sense.

27. No More "Made in China"- Could you go a week without buying anything made overseas? How about a year? Try taking the challenge or at least cut down! Made in China feels inevitable, but it rarely is, and it wastes resources, almost guarantees mistreated workers, and is not so great for our economy. You should get to travel all over the world; your stuff should be from nearby.

28. Cut Down on Your Meat- Meat, especially beef, is responsible for a shocking amount of our water and energy consumption as a country. I would never ask you to give up your hamburgers (The Boy might leave me) but maybe only once a month? Once a week? The less red meat we eat, the better we will feel, so it is a big bonus for you as well.

29. Don't Toss It- Donate It!- Just because it is junk to you doesn't mean it is to someone else! Faded toys, pilled clothes, janky old furniture- they might be just the ticket for someone else. Set a really wide net for what counts as part of your donate pile.

30. Buy One More Food Item Locally- Even better if it is something fresh and seasonal. But much like our stuff, our food is traveling way too far. Every mile it goes, someone takes it there, so whatever you can find made nearby is much better for the environment. Sometimes easier said than done, but you might by surprised at your find and you can definitely save local jobs!

31. No More Dryer Sheets- Use the 1000 times over reusable dryer balls instead. If you have toddlers, they can thank me later.

32. Switch (even partially) to Cloth Diapers- If you do one cloth diaper a day, you will save 365 diapers in a year. Multiple that by the number of years in the diaper, and you have saved 1000 diapers from going to a landfill.

33. Cloth Napkins and Washclothes-Cut down on those paper products that work just as well in a cloth version. We use them pretty regularly at our house, but still have recycled paper napkins for company as well.

34. Write one Business a Letter- Noticed a company, restaurant, store, or business not really up to enbironmental schedules. Stand your ground and let companies know what they are doing isn't right and needs to be addressed. The more they get the feedback that you are paying attention .

35. Turn Your Computer Off at Night-One of the one's I am going to start trying. It sucks energy, you should just turn it off.

36. Pick a Environmental Organization and Donate Something- Can't afford it? Sign up for their mailing list and sign their petitions.They can use your signature as well as your money.

from factcoexist.com

37. Think about How Far your Stuff Travels- Have you seen those maps that chart all the trips someone has taken in a year? Imagine that, but with every item you buy in a year. What would the map look like? Never thought about it? Check out this link.

38. Go meet your neighbors- Fostering community is good for your life, good for everyone around you, and good for the environment. The more we feel we belong to this world, the more likely we are to get involved.

39.Change your Toothbrush- No more plastic toothbrushes! Those plastic brushes are bound for the garbage as soon as you take them out of their excessive public packaging, they are already waiting for the bin. I love Preserve's recycled brushes and Tiny Yellow Bungalow's bamboo option. Simple switch, huge difference! Especially if you stick with it!

40. Travel Sustainably- Bring your own shampoo and conditioner, so you can skip those stupid tiny bottles. Buy all of your souvenirs made in the place you are at. This can be crazy to find, but I am sure you can handle it. I have faith in you.

Is this all common sense stuff? Yes, but it doesn't mean we are doing it! No one can do everything, but everyone can do something. For Earth Day, let's all admit we can do more and pick one more goal to clean this Earth up! And what a wonderful Earth it is!

Want to step up your eco-shoppung? Check out my Mega list of Lists for tons more shopping inspiration.

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