Green Christmas 2016: Let's Do This!

Yes, it is early to talk about Christmas.

No, I am not a person with their tree up already.

But this is a blog about living more, buying less, and spending our money on things that do some good. All of those concerns will loom large the next few months. Plus, etsy purchases can take time.

So, let's do this.

We as Christians love to bemoan the ways the Christmas message has been lost, and I can't help but agree. It has become about catching the biggest sale (ugh Black Friday- leave Thanksgiving alone!) and the visual affirmation of success through abundance. We want to see those piles under the tree, but why?

I know I love to see a mountain of presents under the tree- gifting is my love language, and I can't help but send the message "HOLY CRAP I LOVE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH" this time of year. I think that big pile can also tell people that they are doing ok, that they are providing, that their kids are happy, etc. When life gets hard, it can be a signal things can still be good. But as much as I get the instinct to celebrate this way, the way I see Christmas gifting is radically changing.

Our gifting mirrors the gifts of the Magi, but on a deeper level, it mirrors the gift God gave the Earth- his son! He did the ultimate good for the world by giving this gift, and I truly believe we should try to model our gift giving after this. Instead of looking for a deal or making sure each child has an equal pile of goodies, could we ask "How will this gift do good?"

A gift that does good changes the criteria from which we make our choices- it's no longer "will he like it?" or "will this be enough?" or "can I find this cheaper?"

Shopping to do good means paying attention to how the object was made- "was the person who made it treated with respect?" It can also refer to how it was sold- "does buying this help my community?" It could be about the environment- "Does this gift create more waste for landfills or use a ton of energy getting here?" By paying attention to these issues, we shift our gifting paradigm, and we can make a profound difference in this world and in our families.

Consumerism in America is out of control. In 2012, they estimated an average American spends 846 dollars on gifts for Christmas. That's a ton of money! This means, Christmas is one of the most important times to think about making a positive difference with your shopping. People have too much stuff already, and it takes away from our lives. It also destroys our landscape. Our gifts create landfill waste and use tons of fossil fuels. Committing to buying less but better, less plastic, practical, and more local gifts can change the world. Especially if we all make this change.

Your shopping can do good if you think about it this way- 

We often hear cliched statements about how Christmas isn't about gifts or spending, but that is honestly easier said than done. This blog aims to give some actual strategies about how to make Christmas great without so much stuff.

Buy Less. Don't buy 3 cheap gifts. Buy 1 good one. Don't get stuck with that picture of the tree in your head, and spend money on non-physical gifts like gift cards for dinner out or tickets for a cool experience. Make something yourself.

Buy Used. Fight the stigma against used items. You can find an amazing pair of boots or kitchen items at a steal just by starting at consignment shops first. Check you Buy Nothing Project. Look for toys or items that use post-consumer recycled materials.

Buy Local, Buy American. Support your community and your country by shopping at locally-owned stores instead of Walmart and Made in America items instead of things made elsewhere.

Is local and American more expensive? Yep. But if you buy fewer gifts and fill in the blanks with used items, it can add up to about the same. You are just spending your money in a different way.

This is a huge commitment, but you can break it into sizes that don't overwhelm.

I am not suggesting you have to do this for every gift (even though it would be cool if you did). Make a plan, make a list, and figure out which things you can do this for. You can even think about how to change what you ask for when people ask. This is all about baby steps, and if you think about it at all, then that is pretty damn awesome.

You could try making part of your gift this year. Or just start your shopping at local businesses and thrift stores. You could rethink what you really need and will ask for yourself. Every Christmas season, we shell out oodles of money to buy gifts for all our loved ones. If we all did commit 100 dollars to local businesses, or things manufactured in America, or recycled/ used gifts, we could make a HUGE difference!

So the blog in November and December is all about inspiring a new approach to Christmas shopping. One where we can finally accept it really is the thought that counts, not the money spent.

Most importantly, this is totally doable. I am going to post more friends and family wishlists (throwbacks from last year and new ones- people send me your lists!), so you can see that you can get almost anything recycled or Made in America. I am going to post ideas of how to wrap in a more eco-friendly way (how can we wrap creatively to make the wrapping part of the gift?), and even more stocking stuffers Made in America (therefore, using so much less fossil fuel!). I am going to research Christmas pajamas and where you can get local, American-made candy all over this country. I have some awesome Etsy lists for you (I do love some Etsy).

Now, I know my Dad is pulling his hair out at the thought of me writing these Christmas lists through 2 months (he hates the skip over Thanksgiving), but hear me out. I cannot in good conscience encourage last minute Etsy shopping, because that is a fool's game. When you are buying things from people, not giant corporate machines, sometimes part of what you are investing in is a slower  process. It does not mean that you should let consumerism take over your season starting today, and PLEASE save the Christmas music until after Thanksgiving!

I am also really into the idea of giving as a family tradition, so look out for Advent giving plans and ideas of where and what to donate this Christmas (some of the big organizations, like Operation Christmas Child, have major problems, but that doesn't mean they all do).

So, join me in setting some new goals this Christmas- if you care about stewardship and you want to make your Christmas about more than sales at the mall, resolve to only buy things Made in America or fair-trade.

If you care about the environment, think about how you can create less waste this season! There are so many great ideas out there.

The amazing thing is, if you care about one of these things, you will make a positive change for all of them. If a company cares about these things, not just about making the most money possible, they often attend to other ways to do good as well. Putting your money there sends mainstream companies the message that if they want your money, they have to do better too, which is a pretty awesome message for us to send (over and over).

You don't have to make it impossible for yourself, just join me in trying to do better this Christmas. And let me know about what you are finding, what you are looking for, and what purchases you are most excited about!

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How Do Christians Give Gifts at Christmas?

Today is Black Friday, and that supposedly means the beginning of the Christmas season. Really? A day of sales and crazy lines for printers and tv's is how we kick off our celebration of the birth of Jesus? If Jesus were alive today, do you think he would go to Walmart for that crazy deal? So why is this such a significant part of our Christmas?

Don't get me wrong. I love gift-giving. It is my love language, and honestly, I have bought and receivd some great gifts in my time. I take it seriously, because I really love to show people how much I care about them. I have family members who are ridiculously great gift givers.  But I can't figure out where the balance is between being a good Christian and really celebrating Christmas, and that seems like such a weird conflict to me. I would never ever suggest someone is a bad Christian because they buy a lot of gifts or because of where they buy them from, but I do think there are parts of these decisions that aren't often considered from a religious perspective, and maybe they could be.

Even though I write this blog, I find it easy to get caught up in the desire to buy great gifts, but the more I think about it, the more I question where the line is between gift-giving that brings people closer together and closer to God vs. gift-giving that really has lost the plot. This is a weirdly personal question, and I think the answer might be different for everyone, but I think it's a question worth asking.

This topic has been looming large in my mind the past few weeks- exactly how does our family celebrate Christmas in a way that is faith-based instead of revolving around commercialism? I mostly don't talk about my faith on this blog for a couple of reasons:

1. I make money off this blog (no, not a lot. So far, I have made a whopping 11 dollars) and I don't think Jesus or my relationship with him makes a good product or brand. I think there is a reason that Jesus got so angry when he saw people selling things in a temple. Christianity and commercialism don't mix that well in my opinion.

2. I don't think what I write about is exclusively useful to Christians. Or Liberals. Or environmentalists. The whole point here is that taking care of the Earth is everyone's task, and our over-consumption is everyone's problem. We may all come at it different ways or for different reasons, but changing our approach to material things is beneficial to anyone, no matter their walk of life or how seemingly small the step.

That being said, I do think first of my fellow Christians and my own lived faith this time of year.

And when did we start looking to businesses (whose primary goal by definition is to make money) to be arbiters of our faith? If this day is sacred to us, why would we want Starbucks to use it to sell more coffee? Why would we be so willing to see it sold out, but even worse, be offended when companies aren't using it to schlep cheap goods? Something is wrong here.

I will be honest with you. I am not throwing our Christmas tree away, and I will still be giving presents to loved ones in the next month. At the same time, I am ready to stop just talking the talk about what a shame it is that Christmas is so commercialized. It's time to make a change.

 I think it is time for some concrete goals. Read on if you are with me.

Why Do Christians Give Gifts?

Christmas gifts are important to Christians first because the three wisemen brought gifts for the baby Jesus when he was born. More symbolically still, the gifts refer to Jesus himself as a gift given to the world. In other words, our gifts are meant to mimic the amazing and miraculous gift-giving of God. Lucky for all of us, gifting is apparently His best love language.

The other symbols at Christmas spin off of these two themes. Santa Claus is a modern incarnation of Saint Nicholas, a 4th century Greek bishop who was known specifically for his generosity and giving. He gave to strangers, primarily, which resonates with the wisemen figures, who gifted to Jesus Christ, not to each other.

During the Middle Ages, the stocking tradition was tied to Saint Nicholas's name day, towards the beginning of December. He put gifts in their socks. During the reformation, Martin Luther tied this generosity to the gift of Christ, and Saint Nicholas moved his sock-filling a little later.

Gift giving has moved dates more than once too- because it was modeled after the wise men, some Christian traditions, especially Catholicism, gave gifts at or until Epiphany in Januray (ever wonder where the 12 days of Christmas comes from?).

The Christmas Tree is only about a thousand years old, but the fir tree was part of Pagan rituals before that. Now, it is said to symbolize everlasting life. Which is also a pretty massive present when you think about it.

So even Santa Claus, who often gets a bad rap as the stand in for all Christmas commercialism, ties right back to the gifts of the wisemen and the gifts of Jesus Christ. So this is a part of our tradition, but how does a few humble gifts in a sock turn into gift mountain?

So then, How much is too Much? 

Whatever I think is just enough, it should probably still be less than that. The story of St. Nicholas is about small gifts that make a big difference. The wisemen brought grand but also small gifts.

Right now, the average American parent spends 271 dollars a kid on Christmas gifts. We are in such a rush for our gift shopping that Black Friday is creeping into Thursday. When talking to kids about Christmas, the most commonly asked question is about what they want for themselves.

This obsession with buying gifts, so so many gifts, is costing us in so many ways.

Our generation works constantly to afford all the things we want, rather than spending time together.

Our committed searches for the best deals encourage companies to drop their standards around labor and materials. Jobs are outsourced to places where they can treat people badly. Tons of fossil fuels are  wasted needlessly so those slightly cheaper crayons can travel half way around the world.

I want to underline this again, other human beings also created by God and in His image are treated worse than we can imagine so we can get that cheap gift. In the past few years, it has come out that there are factories using child and slave labor. A factory making clothes for Walmart and other stores YOU shop from was in such poor conditions that a fire killed hundreds of people.

This is not a thing out there that some other mean person did. We helped in this, and we need to change it.

And it doesn't stop there. Those big piles of gifts cause other problems as well. Trees are being cut down at rapid rates when we need them most to keep our air clean and our temperatures down. Beaches are covered daily in garbage, like the plastic those cheap toys come wrapped in. Landfills are filling up and our children's water is being poisoned with plastic.

Now, if we see the planet as a beautiful gift from God, one of the best gifts He has ever given us, how does it make sense to celebrate a day praising Him by destroying his Earth? Or letting people he created be treated that badly? How is that good stewardship?

It would be comforting to feel like this is out of our control, but honestly, most of us are responsible.

Every time I buy something made in Elsewhere, I send the company the message I don't mind, so they will keep doing it. Everytime I buy some cheap piece of junk because it is on sale, I send the market the message that I care more about a good deal than quality or ethics. We are part of the problem, but that means we can be part of the solution too.

We as the body of Christ need to take steps to solve the problem. Now, this is all super depressing, which is the opposite of what you want to feel this time of year, but I think it has potential to be really great.

My suggestion? We start at Christmas. We start cutting down the gifts we buy. We look into more eco-friendly options for the gifts we do buy. This isn't about refusing gifts from others or judging how they live their lives, it's about self-assessing and finding a balance that feels right for each of us individually.

I have 3 new goals this Christmas to keep my giving in line with my faith and my charge to be a steward.

First, is to only buy things that I don't think are doing harm or dishonoring God. I will buy used to keep things out of landfills and to save money. When I have to get a gift new, I will buy things that are environmentally-responsible and made as locally as I can find.

Second, to cut down the number of gifts significantly. No gift mountain here.

Third, to introduce more traditions about giving outside of our household instead of within it. To make donating and giving a regular part of our holiday routine.

So how do We Change our Traditions? 

It's easy enough to say "We will buy less this year," but then the pile looks too small. Or the gifts don't seem quite even. Or it is just so fun to watch a toddler open a gift. I know for myself, it is so so easy to get carried away.

So the real answer is that a Christian Christmas tree can look any number of ways and that "too much" is so different for each person. It's subjective, and I honest to goodness am not out to judge people. Just to figure it out myself.

I have heard the "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read" idea, and it is a good idea for limiting gifting, but it doesn't have much to do with Christmas. I would make it the birthday rhyme, but we have already decided on one gift and one experience/surprise as our family's birthday formula (awesome and it works).

I read this suggestion on my minimalism and motherhood post, and I want to share it with you, because maybe a variation would be perfect for your family:

"About 8 years ago my sister and I started the tradition of giving our kids 3 gifts each. At my house Santa brings them, at my sister's Santa only fills their stockings and the gifts are from mom and dad.

The gifts each have a meaning correlating with the gifts that the wise men brought to Jesus.

The first gift is their GOLD gift. It is their biggest gift and may be expensive, but not necessarily. It can be the one thing they REALLY want or it can be chosen by the giver. It signifies how valuable they are to the family. It is wrapped in gold paper or has a gold bow on it.

The second gift is their FRANKINCENSE gift. Frankincense was sacred and burned exclusively in the temple. This gift should have something to do with how your child "meets" with God. We've given devotional books, worship CD's, even a pocket cross, or a book that teaches a moral lesson. Frankincense is a white substance, so this gift is wrapped in white paper.

The final gift is their MYRRH present. Myrrh is a resin that was used to scent oils and perfumes. It was also used in preparing bodies for burial, and has special symbolism since Jesus came to earth as a baby only to later die for our sins. It is dark earthy substance so it is wrapped in brown paper. This gift can be something they anoint their body with, like perfume or shower gel, or simply a gift for their body. In the past my kids have received clothing or something to help them keep their body in shape (like skates or anything that helps them be active).

My children LOVE this tradition. I hope it makes someone's Christmas more meaningful."

If you want to read her inspiration, check out this blog. A commenter said that they do a similar thing, gold is something they want, frankincense is something they need, and Myrrh is an experience.

I love this idea, and I especially love the symbolism of the three kings creating a more direct and thoughtful connection to the nativity story. It keeps the number really low, which is important to us (if you buy 3 gifts instead of 30, you can put more thought and money into each one) but it also makes the link between what we do and why we do it spiritual instead of cultural. It more clearly connects what we see at church with what we do at home.

I want to add one other thing to this. These kings came to give gifts to strangers from a foreign land with faith they were worthy of that love. I want to be much more generous about giving out this year, not just within our family but to people who really need it. I saw a tradition of a reverse Advent calendar, where everyday in Advent we add to a basket of items to be donated elsewhere. I think my goal is to spend more time on helping others than shopping.

How do you incorporate giving to others in your family?

How do you manage Christmas gifts at your house? How many presents is too many? Do you think about how the gifts were made or who made them? Has anyone been successful at instituting a smaller, more stewardship-oriented Christmas at their house?

Most importantly, what does being a Christian steward mean to you and how do you live that out at Christmas time?

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Eco-Friendly Christmas Cards

the card is from etsy and the picture is from the amazing and talented Jenny GG

At this moment in the year, we start shopping for our Christmas card. Many of us send each other Christmas cards to wish friends peace and joy, to celebrate the holidays, and to show off their family in totally not posed pictures of family togetherness. I can joke, but I am as guilty as anyone of sending these cards and being so happy to receive them. It is equally nice to be wished happiness and to see how happy people I care about are. Christmas cards may be cheesy, but they are also awesome.

Even better, if you are trying to have a more eco-friendly holiday season, then the Christmas cards create a pretty obvious opportunity to make some positive changes! This is an opportunity to save trees, that keep our Earth cooler, our air cleaner, and our view prettier.

Think about how many trees must go down for all that holiday cheer in the mail- probably more worth it than the trees that come down for toilet paper. But if you can celebrate the holidays by being a steward and preserving God's creation, why wouldn't you do it? If the holiday really isn't about consumerism, we need to approach it with the spirit of stewardship first.

I know I as a Christian think even more about my role as a steward this time of year- how can I approach giving gifts in a way that pleases God? If giving gifts to each other is a symbolic repetition of God giving us the gift of his son, how can we do it in a way that takes care of his creation? Those questions resonate even when the gift is as small as a card.\

If you want to be a good steward this Christmas, recycled cards make so much sense. You can save trees from being cut down while still sending your love to others. The answer here is simple, though it might cost you more money.

The good news? Recycled card options are EVERYWHERE, they just may not be where you would look first. Skip Shutterfly and Tiny Prints. Tiny prints weirdly comes up when you search for eco-friendly Christmas cards, but they aren't, so that is an infuriating scam. They don't use any recycled paper as far as I can see. That being said, so many other places do.

Let's do this, people! Enough of these virgin tree shenanigans:

Green Field Paper Co

Green Field Paper Co is now my first stop for paper good browsing. Not only do they have great designs, they also feature more types of eco-friendly statonary than anyone. When you see just how many creative and eenviromentaly responsible options are out there, it's hard not to question why all paper companies don't try this route.My favorite- cards specifically made out of recycled junk mail! That is genius. All the other cars need to step it up. They also have plantable cards, ornaments, and gift cards (these are made of recycled paper and have seeds in them- bonus, they are all made in San Diego). Seriously, look here before you buy a box of cards anywhere else.

Paper Culture

Paper Culture is another gem- a perfect first stop if you want a cheesy/wonderful photo card (don't be ashamed; I love them too). Paper Culture recognizes their carbon footprint, and they try to offset it by using 100% post-consumer paper for their cards and by planting a tree for every order they sell. The Arbor Day Foundation does it for every card (so significantly more depending on your order), but these cards gave a little more design to them and have photocard options, so they may better fit your vision. Their designs vary from bright and busy to minimalist and chic, so you are sure to find something you like. Plus, they don't cost any more than those photo cards from Tiny Prints. How did we not all know about this before?!

Minted

 I have a lot of loyalty for Minted cards; we got our save the dates and birth announcements from them, and their cards always look great and modern. They are pretty comparably priced to Tiny Prints, just a little more expensive, but they offer 100% recycled paper for 15 dollars more. To me, that's worth it, and I will just buy fewer cards to cover the cost.

 Arbor Day Foundation

The Arbor Day Foundation sells 100% recycled "Give a Tree" paper cards as a fundraiser. Every card you buy puts money towards planting trees, so not only are you preventing more trees from coming down, you are also helping plant more! I love this idea so much, though I can't really say that the designs are anything to get excited about (some designer- volunteer your time). Definitely less stylish, but think, if you did this every year at Christmas, how many trees you could help plant in a lifetime. What a sweet addition to your holiday traditions.

Etsy

We all knew I was going to say it- you still have time to buy your cards from etsy, so you can start with this search to find eco-friendly options on there as well.

A Few Other Thoughts to Keep Things Eco-Friendly (No matter where you buy)

Skip the Foil- Foil pressed cards are really pretty, and they are super popular right now. Skip them. You can't recycle them and they won't biodegrade.

Buy Less- Pick a smaller than regular number to send and just don't send them to those people on the list that feel like a stretch. It can make a big difference to just cut down your numbers to the people you really care about.

Above all, Save the Trees- With so many recycled paper options out there, it really doesn't make sense to send a card on virgin tree paper.

That's it! Christmas is kicked off and I will have a ton of ideas for how to make tiny changes to your Christmas plans that will have a big impact on the Earth. Have specific questions? Let me know and we will try to address them. In the meantime, check out the Christmas lists from last year on The Giant List of Shopping Lists.

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Green Christmas: 10 Awesome Gifts that Don't Take Up Any Room Under the Tree

Oh who doesn't love the look of a Christmas tree just bursting with gifts underneath? It feels good to see that symbol of abundance and that physical manifestation of love on Christmas morning. I know I really love a good Gift Mountain. I do. Not facetious at all, it makes me so happy to give gifts.

That being said, how many of the gifts you received last year can you name? And how many gifts get returned or never quite find use in the course of the year? Probably at least a few! We give so many gifts this time of year, but if you are looking to get the most for the biggest deal, you are doing harm. Americans have so much stuff, and we are creating tons of waste. 85 million tons of textile waste. Plastic that is overrunning the ocean. Encouraging inequality and the mistreatment of other. If Jesus came to save the world, why are we celebrating him by destroying it?

I would never knock gift-giving as a practice, but I do think there are lots of gifts we could be giving that don't take up more room in our homes and under our tree. Giving gifts that don't take up space can sometimes be the best ones, and they can help us take care of what we already have rather than adding to piles that can become hard to manage. These gifts might not fill up the tree space as much, but I think they are gifts that your loved ones will be so much more likely to remember.

What non-material gifts are you giving this year? I am excited to be buying our niece piano lessons with a few books. All of our siblings are getting experiences instead of stuff. It's a trend I am excited about, even if we don't have the big gift-opening moment on Christmas morning. That's two minutes. I want to get gift that make memories that will last.


So here are my best ideas- what are you getting this year that you don't have to wrap

1. Netflix Subscriptions- Rather than buying someone a stack of movies this Christmas, what about getting them the fancy dvd level membership to Netflix? Even pay for their streaming for them! It is a little steep, maybe their whole gift for the year, but it creates a lot less waste to borrow than to own!

2. Quality Time- Rather than getting a family or couple more stuff, look up an event calendar for their town and think about if you could get them tickets to a cool activity they would enjoy. For example (and sorry, Shell, I didn't go for it and I should have), I saw tickets for sale to go see/ ride on Thomas the Tank Engine that would have been so fun for my sweet cousin's toddlers and their whole family. If you can fund a new experience or a family memory, that can make a great gift!

For the Bub's birthday, we bought him one gift. One. Instead, we took him to see Daniel Tiger Live as a family, and he was so into it! My goal is to manage birthdays this way forever- one gift, one experience, and one party. I love the memory of going there with him, and it won't add to the collection of toys we seem to always be fighting back.

If you don't have kids to shop for, this still works. Try concert tickets or season tickets to something. Give a gift card for a trip you know they are saving for.

3. Handy Help- Taking a page from Luke on Gilmore Girls, you could give "coupons" for help getting something checked off a loved one's to do list. Not handy yourself? You could try buying your loved one a few hours of handyman or cleaning person time. I have given this gift, and not to toot my own horn (toot toot), but I think it is basically the best gift ever. Let's face it, adulthood is the worst, and it gets so old to have a neverending to do list for your home. Blech.

You can get a loved one a little help fixing that vent or ceiling, or hanging that molding, or building that closet organization, or whatever other nonsense just never quite gets done because it sounds horrible and people are super busy. One of the greenest things we can do is take care of what we have so we don't need to buy a new one, so this might be the ticket for someone you care about.

4. Food- Take someone a lasagna or pot pie or something they can stick in their freezer, not under the tree. Much like house repairs, cooking can be a real pain in the bumper this time of year. It can really help someone out. If you aren't sure what to make, but you want to give more practical gifts, you could also stock a pantry or buy them all (recycled) paper goods (I love this idea- a year's worth of paper towels sounds so lame, but it is kind of awesome actually).

5. Date Night- A gift card for a night out is not exactly new territory, but it's a classic for a reason. People love to eat out, and this gives them a good reason to go do it!

6. A Museum Membership- If your giftee lives near a museum (or zoo? or theater? science center?), a membership could be a great gift! It basically gives them a constant reason to go visit, and members at many museums have access to activities and events they may not otherwise. Perfect for an art lover, animal lover, or just someone who loves to learn. Also great for stay at home parents, as most of these places have weekday activities that cater to small children and their adults.

7. Donating to a Charity in their Honor- For that person who really does have everything, and they really don't want any more stuff. You can find charities that give ornaments or calendars in return for a donation if you want to give them a little token, but I think this would be so cool. If we all put 100 dollars of our Christmas shopping money directly into charities, we could make a huge difference in the world!

This one feels even more relevant than it did a year ago. We need to support organizations fighting for our environment and for human rights. You could also support efforts to help in Syria or even "adopt" a refugee family in their honor. So many options here, so think about what matters most to them.

8. A Visit from a Cleaning Service- Do you know someone with small children? Stop! Do not buy them another baby thing,

Get them a few visits from a cleaning service. You will be their favorite person forever.

This could probably work for all sorts of people, but parents of babies will love you the most, and that's the point of Christmas, right?

Check with them first; no reason to offend anyone. If you don't have much money, but you have some serious cleaning skills, this is a gift that could cost you 0 dollars.

9. Lessons- The Boy and I talk about getting cooking and dancing lessons all the time, but we have never gone for it. If you know someone has debated it, this might be the perfect way to help the person you love finally take the leap. Swimming lessons might be cool for kids too. The community college near us has a super interesting catalog of night classes, so be sure to check out what is near you too!

10. Massages- I think massages are a little awkward, but not everyone is as wimpy as me. A massage might really make their day. We did this for my brother and sister in law last year as a kind of date? Wow, that sounds awkward to me, but you go ahead and go for it, because we aren't all pasty blogging dorks.

What non-material gifts have you bought for someone?

Some of these are a little steep- I am a big supporter of going in with others to buy gifts! If we all focus on quality and not quantity, I think we can shift our paradigm on Christmas and consumption, focusing more on what really matters and less on stuff! Who can't get behind that?

If you are looking for more shopping inspiration, check out my Giant List of Shopping Lists!

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My Ten Favorite Buy Nothing Moments

I love my Buy Nothing Group.

I know, I talk about it a lot, but I genuinely feel that being part of the Buy Nothing Project radically shifted my perception of stuff, my community, even myself. The project connects neighbors through hyper local facebook groups. The members can offer and ask for things freely. It keeps things you don't want out of landfills and keeps people from wasting money. In cities, it helps you get to know your neighbors and in small communities, it creates new bonds. It's all kinds of awesome.

Expect me to keep talking about it, because my goal is that by the end of 4 years the 280,000 members will have grown to at least 2 million. It is all about people empowering themselves, but I am just going to keep talking about it until someone in Franklin, PA starts a group already. Or you give up and ask to join yours. This could help everyone, freeing up money to make more ethical and environmentally-responsible choices, so the more of us who join, the better.

It also just makes daily life better. When I get on facebook, my news feed shows me people being kind to each other, not because of who they are, but because that is what you do. I have had so many positive interactions with my neighbors, which is way swell, and I just feel better about the universe. That is pretty big these days. I have been in this gift economy for a year and a half, and these are some of my favorite interactions:

10. Gifting our Christmas Wreath

 I bought a fresh wreath at an elementary school fundraiser mostly to make my house smell like a real Christmas tree, even though we continue to use our trusty artificial one (It will look like a used fake eyelash before we throw that bad boy away). We were headed back home for the holidays, and it felt like a shame to let the wreath go to waste, so I gifted it to a young mom looking for a few decorations for her apartment. She walked a couple miles to get it, so I honored the badassery with glass of water, and we ended up sitting and chatting for a few hours while our kids played near each other (toddlers never play together- why do people pretend?). It was an unexpected way to spend our last Christmasy afternoon in the city. Plus that gorgeous pine stink still stuck for a while.

9. Gifted Tablecloths

My brother is getting married in a few weeks, so when someone recently offered 40 wedding tablecloths, I jumped at it. Do you know just how many tablecloths that is? It was HEAVY. Hopefully the tablecloths can get washed and regifted, so they will see at least 3 couples through their wedding day.

free

8.Gifted Popping Push Toy/ Plastic Shopping Cart/ Plastic Tree House/ Plastic Wagon

I hate fresh plastic toys- so much waste for no reason! Luckily, my son still got one of those magnetic drawing boards, the shopping cart, even one of those popper toys. His plastic tree house is one of his favorites. We just got them all for free. And when we are done with them, some other kid will get them for free. At this age, they can't tell the difference between used and new, and my hope is that I am giving him a different value system. The newest, shiniest thing doesn't have intrinsically more value.  More toys does not equal more fun. We have gifted toys and been gifted toys over and over again, so at any given time his collection is at least 50% used. It saves us so much money, but more importantly, it sends him important messages about consumerism and giving (not hoarding) as a regular part of life.

7.Gifting Spruce Sap

One of the group members was looking for sap from a spruce tree. We have a spruce tree! An hour or two later, our tree was less sticky and we got to help someone with a school project. Also, I learned that spruce trees are sappy. The best kind of random.

6. Gifting Treadmill/ Gifted Crib

We kicked off healthy 2016 by giving away our treadmill (perfect sense, right?). A woman got it, and her husband and his friend loaded it in their van. In November, I was gifted a crib from the same family. My husband and his brother loaded it into our car. Just goes to show that these things come around pretty fast.

about to find more pavers. also got the bucket (originally for frosting) on BN

5. Gifting Pavers

 Our flipped yard is really just built on top of the previous yard, so every time we go to do something, we find a whole floor of pavers underneath. Lucky for us, we kicked off our summer giving away a bunch of those big rocks to people to put paths through their gardens. One mom came with her toddler and loaded so many that it made her car sit lower. One woman's super annoying rock pit is another woman's treasure.

4. Gifted Food Magazines

For one of my class projects, I need pictures of food. Lots of pictures of food. So many pictures of food. Usually, I would buy a pile of food magazines and old cookbooks to fill that need. This year, I asked my Buy Nothing, and I got so many I shouldn't have to ask again for a long time. Happy to be recycling for someone, especially when the recycling turns out this cute.

3. Gifting (and watching Gifting) for people who really need it

Our city is growing fast, but lots of people are still really struggling, and I have been awed by how many times people have stepped up to help. I have seen people rally around moms leaving domestic violence situations. I have seen 10-20 people step up when someone asks for a ride to the hospital. I have seen them drop off food to someone who can't shop. We have given our newborn clothes to a premie and our swing to an exhausted mother of twins. We have given hats and warm clothes to the homeless. We have helped the group outfit elementary school classrooms with supplies. I have watch so many people empty their cupboards to help their neighbor.

I know we have problems, but I genuinely believe, have to believe that we as Americans are fundamentally good. When faced with an individual who needs help, I have never seen the group go silent. Someone helps. Usually, at least a dozen people offer. Being a participant in this is great, but it does my soul so much good to be a witness. Because when I leave my house, even in this big city, I know how many kind people are around me.

2. Gifting a Wedding Dress

I foolishly impulse bought a wedding dress at Priscilla of Boston because they were closing and had a ridiculous clearance. In the end. I wore a different dress. This spring, a woman asked if anyone had a wedding dress to gift or lend, and I did! So it traveled with my Dad and his wife across the country for her to try on. And it looked perfect. Little did I know I bought her dress for her, but it was fate. She looks amazing.

They get married next year, so I won't post a picture, but I could not be more excited about this. So glad the dress is going to good use and honored to have helped with their day!

1. Gifted the Dining Room Table

Last October, my husband was home for a sick day, and we ended up loading our sick butts into the car, renting a van, and going to a stranger's house to pick up the table. I had thrown my hat in for the table, but he was picked, then it didn't work in his space. Not only was it a kind of fun adventure, but I am super sentimental about this table. It was another growing family's first, and now our family will grow up eating their meals around this table.

It has been a lot of work (put on pause because we found out we were pregnant soon after), but the table only cost us 15 dollars for the van rental. Compare it to the same table at Pottery Barn, we saved over 2,000 dollars. We can put that money toward a trip or adventure for our family, and when it is done, we will still have a beautiful space. I love the table and I feel so grateful to live in the kind of neighborhood where things are given so freely and happily.

That's what this is all about to me. When we are willing to share with our neighbors, we can build new bonds and reprioritize our life. It doesn't have to all be about the next thing you are going to buy, and you spend most of the time considering what you have that you can give. If you aren't in a Buy Nothing group, check out their page and join. If there isn't one where you live, let's talk about starting one. This thing can change the world and change your life!

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Five Favorite Etsy Stores- Christmas Ornaments

I want to keep highlighting amazing makers in the US, and I feel like my Etsy links can get caught in the more mainstream shuffle. So starting a series to focus on the greatest stuff we have found. 

from Fancy Face Studios

I love Christmas ornaments. We don't buy anything big when we go on trips, but we always bring home an ornament for our tree. I love receiving and giving them as gifts, because it can be thoughtful, special, and packed away for a good chunk of the year (rather than adding to the clutter). Etsy has a seemingly endless supply of cool ornaments that would make great gifts. These are some of my favorites.

Naya Studio (Colorado) uses reclaimed wood to make these sweet little Christmas trees.

Cardboard Safari (Virginia) mostly sells cardboard animal busts but their christmas pinecones out of recycled cardboard are beautiful. One of my favorite Christmas ornaments anywhere.

Drops of Color Shop (Texas) makes the cutest mobiles, but they put their felty genius to use for Christmas ornaments. So sweet and bright, we have made our own felt ornaments, but these are way better.

Schemata (New York) has gorgeous glass ornaments that look so special and colorful. These glass balls were actually one of my first Etsy purchases (the beginning of an addiction for sure).They remind me of maps of a planet I have never been to. I thought they made great gifts, so maybe you will too.

Ornaments 4 Charity (Nebraska) makes lego ornaments, which you can find plenty of on Etsy. What makes these so special is that they are the product of one family, and 100% of the proceeds go to helping women and children in domestic violence centers. The whole family does the work together just to help others around Christmas. How awesome is that!?


Want more links to awesome ornaments? Can do! 2 Chicks and a Basket, Tuscany Creative, Pegasus Parchments, Smiling Tree Toys, Just 4 Christmas, Reclaim the Shed, Nestled Pine Woodworks, Taco Explosions, A Heirloom, MC Wonderland, Little Celandine, artcrafthome,

Want even more eco-friendly and local shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Ethical and Eco-Friendly Shopping Lists. 

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Five Favorite Etsy Stores- Tree Toppers

I want to keep highlighting amazing makers in the US, and I feel like my Etsy links can get caught in the more mainstream shuffle. So starting a series to focus on the greatest stuff we have found. 

from Tinworks

We bought our tree topper on Etsy 7 years ago when we moved in together. It basically looks like an oven mit, but I love it and I bet we will never change it. Tree toppers are the kind of thing most of us will only buy once or twice in our lifetime, so it is worth it to spend a little more on something special that will last all that time. Etsy has so many options, but here are some of my favorites:

Kentucky Reclaimed (Kentucky) makes beautiful reclaimed wood stars that would look perfect on a rustic Christmas tree.

Kissa Design (Detroit)has the coolest collection of these paper tree toppers. I have never seen anything like them,

Tinworks (South Carolina) makes stars and angels that seem old and precious, somewhere between a tintype photo and a suit of armor, but I can see them working on most trees, and they feel like an heirloom.

The Stencil Laser (Indiana) makes these super sharp and minimalist stars. I think this also has that cool trendy side, but the wood makes it look like it could fit on a more traditional tree as well.

Me and She Studios (Philadelphia) these stars are so light and airy, and I think they make look great in a small apartment where you don't want to cramp the space much more. Another sort of different style.


Want even more eco-friendly and local shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Ethical and Eco-Friendly Shopping Lists. 

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Five Favorite Etsy Stores- Advent Calendar

I want to keep highlighting amazing makers in the US, and I feel like my Etsy links can get caught in the more mainstream shuffle. So starting a series to focus on the greatest stuff we have found. 

Nomad Fine Art

Advent gets downplayed in the hustle and bustle of the season, but I know it has a pretty big role in our house. An advent calendar seems to be spiritual enough that it doesn't have a huge market (thank goodness) but you can get an amazing and meaningful advent calendar on Etsy. Of all the things I have researched this season, these might be my favorite. 

Baby What Knots (Indiana)- I LOVE this one so much. You can buy a little tree and 25 little ornaments to go with it. Really pretty and would look great in a kid space or even a minimal space without room for the tree.

Nomad Fine Art (California) sells a bunch of advent calendars that are modern, thoughtful, beautiful, and shockingly cheap. I especially love the clip and copper pipe ones, because I think you could incorporate it into a reverse Advent calendar, where each day leading up to Christmas you donate belongings as a family. These look so cool, and you could use them in so many ways to best fit your family's traditions.

Knoll Wood Lane (Missouri)- These simple unfinished wood boxes could look a million different types of beautiful depending on how you decorate it. I think this could be really cool, or even make a great gift for a couple's first Christmas. Even though this is simple, it is my favorite. If you are more of a felt DIYer, check out the Sugar House Shop.

N and B Specialties (South Carolina) makes art for your home out of reclaimed wood (one of my favorite things). They have a simple and rustic Advent tree that would look good with lots of decor but I think it looks even cooler like this outside! I love how sweet and simple this one is.

French Melody sells cool printables, but this flock of advent sheep is my favorite by far! If you are going to do it, put it on recycled paper, so you are supporting a nearby small business AND saving a tree from coming down! Double win! Also, this looks like a fun project to do with a teen or older child (or awesome adult).

Want even more eco-friendly and local shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Ethical and Eco-Friendly Shopping Lists. 

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Green Christmas- My 2016 Christmas List

Ok, here is another Christmas list! I think we can get blocked and need inspiration for gift ideas. I also think it is easy to feel like everything is Made in China out of cheap plastic, but you can find eco-friendly options for most things on your list. This is my list.

from oh little rabbit

Holiday Tea Towels or Pillow Covers- I used to buy holiday-themed decorations at places like Target, and though I do support their respect for the LGBTQ community, I wish they sold more eco-friendly options for shoppers. Now some of our tea towels are looking rough, and I would like to get some holiday decor that is a little more subtle to replace them. I love the tea towels (and everything else, frankly) from oh little rabbit. I also think pillow covers are a cool way to decorate, because they don't take up much room but can change the effect of the room.

Arbor Day Thank You Cards- My dream now is that I would never write another thank you card that didn't also fund planting a tree. The Arbor Day Foundation sells Give-a-Tree cards that I want as my stationary.  Wouldn't that be awesome? Think of how much gratitude and good air one person could produce in a lifetime! On the other hand, it's an expensive goal. So I would love the help. Blank thank you cards would make a truly fun gift.

Casual Dresses that will Last- I love a dress, but chasing toddlers doesn't lend itself to much fanciness in life. What I would really like are more t-shirt, tunic, or simple casual dresses, but I am trying to avoid just buying the thing at Target that will only last a short time. Simka Sol has some pretty tunics. I also love thief and bandit, though that is getting really expensive (but would hopefully get a lot of use. Used is also good!

from Lovely from Lindsey

Stocking Holders- We have stockings that we love, but right now they just end up on command hooks somewhere. I would like to be able to show off the beautiful gifts we were given, so stocking holders are the only decoration I am really thinking of. I think my favorite are these simple, modern blocks with letters from Lovely from Lindsey. Our stockings have a lot going on, so I prefer the simple ones. Ezze Blocks makes really simple ones with a photo clip that you could maybe change up every year? I think there is potential for this idea.

from Homme Sur La Lune

This Bag- Who doesn't want some Leslie Knopeness like this? Most people? Oh alright, but I think it is the coolest. I have lusted after this all year.

Donations- Ugh, this year, there is no object I want nearly as much as I would like our environment to not be completely destroyed by a president elect who prioritizes other concerns way over the Earth. I think a donation to the NRDC, the Sierra Club, or a local, grassroots environmental effort like the Stop DAPL protectors would make a kickass gift.  I know this sounds lame or over the top, but I really can't think of anything I want more than to push the momentum in a positive direction, because we have a scary four years ahead of us.

from Amazon

Cookie Sheets- Our sheet pan with a rim was a hand me down from my mom, and it is looking really really rough. I would like a cookie sheet from USA Pan with a rim to replace it once it bites the dust completely.


Want even more eco-friendly and local shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Ethical and Eco-Friendly Shopping Lists. 

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Ten Ideas for Raising a Minimalist Kid

I want my children to have less than I did.

I know this sounds crazy. Who says that? The American Dream includes the idea that we all give our children more than we had. If we are good parents, we dream for abundance for our children. That if we are doing things right, our children have more than we had.

What happens if we want our children to have less?

At the very least, I want my children to have less stuff.

I don't think I have fewer dreams for my children than any other generation of parents did, and I do want them to have more in some ways- more adventures, more stability, more sushi than I did, but I think in the long run, we will do our children a tremendous service if they have less possessions, less spacious living, less baggage.

Before you get offended on my lovely parents' behalf (I am grateful for my upbringing and my husband's), hear me out. We are offered so many conveniences and gadgets to help manage our life, but those conveniences come at a deep cost that our children and grandchildren will have to pay.

-Too much costs our kids their healthy food and water. The (then still relatively new) disposable diapers our parents used for us 20 or 30 years ago still have 400 years on this planet, in the landfills and soil our children will eat from and the water they will drink. These options are way more prominent now- those HORRIBLE snack pouches can't be recycled, so you have saved 3 minutes now, but that pouch will outlive your grandkids. Not actually that great a deal.

- Too much costs our kids the environment. The plastic toys we played with will also outlive our children, and how many do you really remember? Why not only get used or recycled plastic toys for our kids?

- Too much costs our kids their future jobs. Because the market creates a demand for LOTS of toys (more toys is better than better toys), parents are looking for toys that are cheap. To make cheap toys, mainstream companies like Fisher Price and Melissa and Doug make all their toys in China. Those cheap toys mean someone is treated badly, fossil fuels are completely wasted in shipping, and more American jobs that can't compete with the prices fold. So fewer American jobs.

-Too much costs our kids their own happiness. Overconsumption when they are kids set them up for unhealthy habits through adulthood. If something breaks, replace it instead of fix it. More will make you happier (it's proven it never does). We all have to ask when these piles of stuff stop helping us and instead weigh us down.

- Too much costs our kids their time with us. It's well-documented that new American parents are pretty miserable. Some of these problems- like a cultural lack of a support system- can't be solved this way, but other's can. On average, our generation of parents lives in 1000 square foot larger homes than our parents did. What are we doing with all that space? And think of how much time all that extra space (and stuff that fills it) takes- we have to clean all of that! And if you have a toddler, you know life is like 80% cleaning. If we live in smaller spaces, our houses may not scream abundance and variety, but we win a lot of time back to just spend with our kids.

This dream of bigger and better keeps us working that much harder to just survive, when just surviving can be hard as it is. I see these beautiful pictures of children's spaces that look modern and pristine, not overun with toys, books, and clothes. I don't think my house will ever be that minimalist, and I am certainly still new at this. But the idea of effectively giving my children less has been on my mind a lot (especially as I fight the instinct to buy leading up to the birth of my second), so I thought I would share the ideas I have had.

1. Say Goodbye to Cable

Enough opinions are floating around about screen time (it rots your kids' brain vs. screenphobia is just the latest stand against Stay at Home Moms), but my beef isn't with a screen. Pick the amount of screen time that works for your family, Netflix it up, but stay away from media with ads. When you have cable, or you are watching any programming directed at children, you need to weed out these overstimulating and overpromising snippets.

Ads are designed to send a constant message- you aren't enough, you don't have enough, and that you won't be happy until you have this thing.

This is a pretty dangerous game of desire for anyone, much less kids. And before you roll your eyes and think your child is above it, just remember that these people really, really know what they are doing. They get degrees in how to send that message. They do research on how to do it most effectively. They get paid millions of dollars to do it. This is a serious business, and they are good at it. But, there is no law saying your kid needs to watch things that tell them what they want. You get to choose what normal is, and do your kids a favor by keeping cable out of your home.

2. Just Stay Away from the Toy Section

In the same way, kids can't want every toy on the shelf if they don't know what is on the shelf. Stay out of the toy sections of most stores, and they won't know every little thing that is out there. Will this save you from the occasional tantrum in the grocery store? Nope. Does it mean your child will never want toys they see at friends' houses? Nope. Is this guaranteed to save you from Elsa or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Nope. But it does make wanting stuff less a part of their regular life.

When we are at Goodwill, I will let my son pick out one thing to take home. Anywhere else, he can look, even touch, but nothing is coming home with us. The less time we spend in Target's toy aisles, the less I have to have this fight.

3. Slow Your Roll Out

My sister in law taught me this, and it is genius. When her son would get a giant pile of loot from a birthday or Christmas, she just packed a bunch back up and gave them out when he seemed bored with the last thing. After Christmas, let 2 or 3 gifts stay out, and everything else goes into storage. As the previous gifts wear out (over weeks and months), another new object can come out.

We love that feeling of abundance, that fantasy of the super full Christmas tree, but gifting that way isn't very practical and the kids can't appreciate it anyway.

Kids can only process so much at a time, so those big gift mountains seem cool, but lots of toys get lost in the shuffle. Most children do get sick of things. Instead of constantly needing new toys, you just use what they were already gifted and Christmas last much longer! Our son is too little to know the difference, and we can make one holiday last for months.

from Mum in the Madhouse

4. Make Giving a Family Tradition and Habit

At Christmastime, many families have an advent calendar with treats inside. What if this year, each member of your family gave one thing away every day in Advent. You could do it for Lent too! To teach your kids about taking better care of the Earth, you have to illustrate the act of giving. Let them pick toys to gift.every day during the holiday season, then go together as a family to give it away. Have your spring cleaning tradition include a big family day where you drop things off and donate things to charities. Let them participate with you on Buy Nothing once a month. Pick what works for you, but pick something and include your little ones.

 I whole-heartedly believe that we have to model the behavior we want to see from our children, so if you want them to be generous (and non-materialistic), then you have to make giving a regular part of life. It well help your house stay cleaner, help them assess what they really care about, and in the end could be such a fun tradition!

5. Clean Out the Toys and Clothes Every 3-6 Months and Give a Third Away

 Even two years in, I can see how quickly the toy collection flies off the rails.You receive gifts from grandparents or hand me downs from friends, and the pile gets bigger. Man, they can take over everything! The key is not only to buy less, but to clean out more, so get in there and send things off that never clicked with your kid.

Right now, The Bub is too little to really understand what is going on when I do this, but he is always present, and someday he will just think it is normal. It's not about throwing things away, it's about sharing with other people who might enjoy it more. I have gotten some of his favorite toys at Goodwill or on Buy Nothing, so I think it is my responsibility to keep putting back into these resources as well.

6. Don't Buy More Storage, Cut Out Stuff

It can be so tempting when the toys are taking over to think of more storage solutions. I get that, and I am not saying we don't have a plastic tub of toys in the basement, but before you get another toy box, book shelf, or hot wheels shelf, why not just give things away? To have a house that makes sense, you need places for everything to go. If you no longer have enough destinations for toys, maybe there are too many toys. If you have so much storage that your kid can't see all of their toys in a day, you probably have more than they need.

passed to us by a neighbor, passed on to a third child in the neighborhood

7. Swap, Borrow, and Get it Used

The difference between a minimalist lifestyle and a house full of toys is seeing possessions as temporary. Join a library and you always have a resource for new books (and a place to connect with other moms and kids). Join your local freecycle or Buy Nothing groups, you can pass kids stuff around. Just ask friends if they want to do book or toy swaps to switch things up in your house.

 I feel like as kids, we treated our toys and collections like they were essential parts of our identities, and it made it hard to let them go even as adults. But your kid can still love Frozen without having every Elsa and Anna item in the world (is that even possible? God bless Disney and their marketing genius). Only a few things can be precious, everything else should be moved around before it sticks to a spot on the shelf.

Every parent of a toddler is constantly encouraging them to share (it's tough!), but this is a way to push that a step further, treating sharing as a part of life.

8. Have Confidence They Have Enough

This is easy to say but so hard to feel. Parents right now are under constant pressure about how they manage their kids, their time, their money, everything. We can look around and see someone else who is doing a better job in various ways. We feel self-concious because that Stay at Home mom gives them so much time (and loves to talk about it). We feel frustrated because we can't give our kids everything they want. We try to compensate by giving little gifts because we can see how happy it makes our kids, even for a second.

We have to have confidence we are giving our kids what they need. Parenting is so tough, because success can me so hard to define or measure- how do you ever know if you are doing alright? Sometimes shopping is as much about ourselves as our kids, because we can at least feel certain we are providing. A bigger house or well-dressed kid makes us feel like we are filling their needs well, not just enough.

But you are doing more than enough just by caring. There isn't a void that you need to fill. It's a cliche, but your kid really does just want to be with you. Go to a playground instead of a store, and you will give them something worth remembering. Get clothes and toys used and save your money. Your kid doesn't know the difference, and you just have to keep building yourself up that you are  doing great at this job just by caring and getting in there. I don't know how to build this confidence more other than reminding ourselves, but it's a constant battle we need to fight. Buying mostly doesn't make us do a better job, but getting in there does.

9. Use What You Have

We all know kids love cardboard boxes, but it is amazing how far you can make one cardboard box go for play time. Blanket forts make amazing memories too, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.

At my job, people donate all sorts of objects that could be "art supplies" for a shopping space and classes for kids. This includes baby food jars, toilet paper rolls, flooring samples, jewelry boxes, gift wrap, broken crayons- all kinds of stuff we tend to see as junk and throw away. But you reframe that for a kid (turn the jewelry box into a robot, use the toliet paper rolls to make fireworks, make a "home" for a stuffed animal), and you can provide hours of entertainment, conversation, learning, and creativity. This isn't conjecture, it is my job and I see it all the time. Junk, when mixed with creative framing, is always an opportunity. Need a rattle? Clean and fill an old bottle with beans.

 That kind of creative play isn't always easy to come up with, so thank goodness we live in the time of pinterest. You can find so many ideas on there.

10. Slow it Down and Just Be Together

I know I am so guilty of this one. As an introvert parent of an extreme extrovert, I often feel desperate for a minute to just catch my breath (or check my email), and some days I know I don't enjoy the time with my kid as much as I should. I feel sometimes like toys are partially just tools to give parents a minute.

Whenever an older generation parent tells me "Oh it goes so fast," I try hard not to roll my eyes. Really? Because this sleep deprivation is making everything move in slow motion.

But there is a lot of wisdom in the suggestion to let things go and slow down to our kids' speed. It doesn't mean we don't get those minutes or that we don't deserve a break while working and parenting, but when you are going to be there, really be there.

 The Bub and I have literally spent hours (this week) playing with a baseball hat and a pair of kitchen tongs. Even with older kids, you don't need many objects to have a perfectly great time. Go for a walk. Go to a playground. Just listen to them. Children are just tiny human beings, and they just want heard like everyone else. A game of tag (or robot tag) can be more fun than any toy, so the more you can focus when the quality time comes, the fewer things you need.



So there you have it, buy less and give more. Change the goals and you may just raise kids who aren't as caught up in this consumerist minefield we are all trying to navigate right now. We both know it creates a lot more work, a tremendous number of problems, and very little of the happiness or solutions that we are constantly promised. We can protect our children's futures from waste and from that constant want by shifting our attitudes now. Let's give ourselves a freaking break and give our kids less.

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