Don't Buy Plastic Straws, Instead Try

from The Vinyl Visionary

If I have learned one thing from the blog's September Mission to Cut Out Plastic Straws, it is that people really love their straws. LOVE their straws. And that there are lots of times where a straw makes a whole lot more sense than not. Though I can dream of a perfect world where no one uses straws, that would also have to be a world without toddlers, hospital patients, and people with super sensitive teeth, among many things. And this blog advocates for a lot of things, but eliminating toddlers is not one of them.

So, if you are a big straw user, what do you do?

My mom carries a cup while she works, and she says that now she tries to use the same plastic straw for the week to cut down on her plastic usage. That's awesome! Except that sometimes these straws grow mold. Not awesome. Those bendy spots on the straws may save us from the agony of moving our head or our glass, but they are also liquid traps, so the longer you use them, the grosser they get. 

But Mom wants to cut down her straw use, so we looked at what other options she has to keep in her office and use during her work day. 

Most "Don't Use" posts can point to a specific company who is profitting off of poor labor practices, wasting fossil fuels, and taking advantage of Americans while marketing their "Americaness." This may seem different, because straws are free! 

Right? Wrong. 

Restaurants pay for straws, and that cost is factored in with all the costs in prices. Every time you use one, you speed up the time until the restaurant has to order more straws. So they are absolutely making someone money. But they have to sell a lot to make money, which might be part of why straws seem necessary/unavoidable now.

Need more proof that straws are making someone money? Let me introduce you to the plastic lobby- a gaggle of shockingly tough gems who are actively fighting to keep plastics in the mix, no matter how destructive and toxic they are. They fight plastic bag bans and straw initiatives like this one all over the country. Companies like Dow Chemical (one of the largest creators of plastics) fund the lobby to fight government initiatives, and they are surprisingly successful. This doesn't even include the horrors of bottled water and its advocates, but we can cut these companies off at the knees by just refusing their product. 

Some kickass people are turning down straws at every turn, and I love that. Amazing people like my Mom are cutting down their straw-usage by reusing- that is so important too. But I would rather my mom doesn't get mold-filled Diet Coke every day, so what other options exist? 

A plastic disposable straw might not cost you money, but that massive pile you will throw away is going to cost you, the environment, and future generations. The good news? At relatively low cost, you can cut out the straw forever. 

1. Just Say No- When you can, just pass on the straw. Saying no costs 0 dollars, and you may just get used to it. I will grant that there are people and times that really call for straws, but self-assess- is this really one of them? Are you suffering without a straw? We are all used to cheap and easy, but we also know it is costing us, so sometimes it's better to just pass.

ALSO, I have a toddler, so I understand that kids drinking out of glasses is a (very messy) pipe dream. At the same time, I now own a small army of sippy cups at home. When we go out to eat, I try to bring one with me so we can turn down the cup for him. We just pour some of our water in and throw it in the dishwasher when we get home. BAM! One less straw headed to the landfill. It's a weird habit to start, but it catches on easily enough. 

If you need straws, think about reusable options so you can still turn down that disposable plastic straw:

Hummingbird Glass Straws on Amazon

2. Glass Straws- I will be honest with you- I didn't even know this was a serious thing, but here they are! And they are eco-glorious. Made with glass, in America, these Hummingbird Glass Straws are total gems and a perfect fit for someone like my mom, who just needs a stash of straws at work for her diet coke. Might be great if you are a smoothie drinker at home (because nothing says "healthy breakfast drink" like sipping it out of a toxic chemical straw).

They have a bunch of options (including bent straws) and groupings, most of which include a cleaning brush, so look around before you buy. You can also look at options from Glass Masters Glass Straws (also amazing), Icosa Living, Straw Grace, or Alink (not as great, but still!).

Tranquilo from Amazon

3. Paper Straws-  Will they last you a week? No, probably not, but if you want to throw a party with milkshakes or you are a restaurant that wants to replace your plastic (God bless you if that is the case), paper straws are biodegradable, create no more waste, and are 100% the answer. I dream of a world where my kids think paper straws are the norm, and plastic straws are weird. My favorite paper straws are these ones from Tranquilo- not only are they biodegradable and made in the USA, the company also supports efforts to clean up our overpolluted oceans. Also, they have pirate straws.

If you want disposable straws, buy these ones! Are they as cheap? No, but they do 10000 times more good per straw, so I think this is a spot where it is worth it. 

Zicome from Amazon

4. Metal Straws- The best thing about these is that you can get one with a cute little brush that keeps these bad boys clean. So we ordered some of these Zicome metal straws that still have the bendy neck and come with a straw cleaner she can keep at work too. I also like that these would be tough enough to live in a purse. Simple and easy without adding to landfills.

Lots of options here too! Try Ehme, Accmor, Eco at Heart, and Chuzy Chef.

5. Silicone Straws- They do have reusable plastic straws as well, but honestly, I wouldn't recommend them. If you are going to go with a reusable straw, at least get something that won't be leaching chemicals into your drink and your mouth in a month or two. I couldn't find domestically-made silicon straws, but they are still a better option than plastic. Some options? Softy Straws, Housavvy Straws, and Green Paxx straws. 

And you thought plastic disposable straws were the only answer! Clearly there are all kinds of other amazing straws to use, and even if you love straws, you don't have to support the plastics lobby to enjoy your drink. You got this. Be sure to check out the other "Don't Buy, Instead Try" posts and all the other eco-friendly shopping ideas on my Giant List of Shopping Lists! 

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Ten Ideas for Raising a Minimalist Kid

I want my children to have less than I did.

I know this sounds crazy. Who says that? The American Dream includes the idea that we all give our children more than we had. If we are good parents, we dream for abundance for our children. That if we are doing things right, our children have more than we had.

What happens if we want our children to have less?

At the very least, I want my children to have less stuff.

I don't think I have fewer dreams for my children than any other generation of parents did, and I do want them to have more in some ways- more adventures, more stability, more sushi than I did, but I think in the long run, we will do our children a tremendous service if they have less possessions, less spacious living, less baggage.

Before you get offended on my lovely parents' behalf (I am grateful for my upbringing and my husband's), hear me out. We are offered so many conveniences and gadgets to help manage our life, but those conveniences come at a deep cost that our children and grandchildren will have to pay.

-Too much costs our kids their healthy food and water. The (then still relatively new) disposable diapers our parents used for us 20 or 30 years ago still have 400 years on this planet, in the landfills and soil our children will eat from and the water they will drink. These options are way more prominent now- those HORRIBLE snack pouches can't be recycled, so you have saved 3 minutes now, but that pouch will outlive your grandkids. Not actually that great a deal.

- Too much costs our kids the environment. The plastic toys we played with will also outlive our children, and how many do you really remember? Why not only get used or recycled plastic toys for our kids?

- Too much costs our kids their future jobs. Because the market creates a demand for LOTS of toys (more toys is better than better toys), parents are looking for toys that are cheap. To make cheap toys, mainstream companies like Fisher Price and Melissa and Doug make all their toys in China. Those cheap toys mean someone is treated badly, fossil fuels are completely wasted in shipping, and more American jobs that can't compete with the prices fold. So fewer American jobs.

-Too much costs our kids their own happiness. Overconsumption when they are kids set them up for unhealthy habits through adulthood. If something breaks, replace it instead of fix it. More will make you happier (it's proven it never does). We all have to ask when these piles of stuff stop helping us and instead weigh us down.

- Too much costs our kids their time with us. It's well-documented that new American parents are pretty miserable. Some of these problems- like a cultural lack of a support system- can't be solved this way, but other's can. On average, our generation of parents lives in 1000 square foot larger homes than our parents did. What are we doing with all that space? And think of how much time all that extra space (and stuff that fills it) takes- we have to clean all of that! And if you have a toddler, you know life is like 80% cleaning. If we live in smaller spaces, our houses may not scream abundance and variety, but we win a lot of time back to just spend with our kids.

This dream of bigger and better keeps us working that much harder to just survive, when just surviving can be hard as it is. I see these beautiful pictures of children's spaces that look modern and pristine, not overun with toys, books, and clothes. I don't think my house will ever be that minimalist, and I am certainly still new at this. But the idea of effectively giving my children less has been on my mind a lot (especially as I fight the instinct to buy leading up to the birth of my second), so I thought I would share the ideas I have had.

1. Say Goodbye to Cable

Enough opinions are floating around about screen time (it rots your kids' brain vs. screenphobia is just the latest stand against Stay at Home Moms), but my beef isn't with a screen. Pick the amount of screen time that works for your family, Netflix it up, but stay away from media with ads. When you have cable, or you are watching any programming directed at children, you need to weed out these overstimulating and overpromising snippets.

Ads are designed to send a constant message- you aren't enough, you don't have enough, and that you won't be happy until you have this thing.

This is a pretty dangerous game of desire for anyone, much less kids. And before you roll your eyes and think your child is above it, just remember that these people really, really know what they are doing. They get degrees in how to send that message. They do research on how to do it most effectively. They get paid millions of dollars to do it. This is a serious business, and they are good at it. But, there is no law saying your kid needs to watch things that tell them what they want. You get to choose what normal is, and do your kids a favor by keeping cable out of your home.

2. Just Stay Away from the Toy Section

In the same way, kids can't want every toy on the shelf if they don't know what is on the shelf. Stay out of the toy sections of most stores, and they won't know every little thing that is out there. Will this save you from the occasional tantrum in the grocery store? Nope. Does it mean your child will never want toys they see at friends' houses? Nope. Is this guaranteed to save you from Elsa or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Nope. But it does make wanting stuff less a part of their regular life.

When we are at Goodwill, I will let my son pick out one thing to take home. Anywhere else, he can look, even touch, but nothing is coming home with us. The less time we spend in Target's toy aisles, the less I have to have this fight.

3. Slow Your Roll Out

My sister in law taught me this, and it is genius. When her son would get a giant pile of loot from a birthday or Christmas, she just packed a bunch back up and gave them out when he seemed bored with the last thing. After Christmas, let 2 or 3 gifts stay out, and everything else goes into storage. As the previous gifts wear out (over weeks and months), another new object can come out.

We love that feeling of abundance, that fantasy of the super full Christmas tree, but gifting that way isn't very practical and the kids can't appreciate it anyway.

Kids can only process so much at a time, so those big gift mountains seem cool, but lots of toys get lost in the shuffle. Most children do get sick of things. Instead of constantly needing new toys, you just use what they were already gifted and Christmas last much longer! Our son is too little to know the difference, and we can make one holiday last for months.

from Mum in the Madhouse

4. Make Giving a Family Tradition and Habit

At Christmastime, many families have an advent calendar with treats inside. What if this year, each member of your family gave one thing away every day in Advent. You could do it for Lent too! To teach your kids about taking better care of the Earth, you have to illustrate the act of giving. Let them pick toys to gift.every day during the holiday season, then go together as a family to give it away. Have your spring cleaning tradition include a big family day where you drop things off and donate things to charities. Let them participate with you on Buy Nothing once a month. Pick what works for you, but pick something and include your little ones.

 I whole-heartedly believe that we have to model the behavior we want to see from our children, so if you want them to be generous (and non-materialistic), then you have to make giving a regular part of life. It well help your house stay cleaner, help them assess what they really care about, and in the end could be such a fun tradition!

5. Clean Out the Toys and Clothes Every 3-6 Months and Give a Third Away

 Even two years in, I can see how quickly the toy collection flies off the rails.You receive gifts from grandparents or hand me downs from friends, and the pile gets bigger. Man, they can take over everything! The key is not only to buy less, but to clean out more, so get in there and send things off that never clicked with your kid.

Right now, The Bub is too little to really understand what is going on when I do this, but he is always present, and someday he will just think it is normal. It's not about throwing things away, it's about sharing with other people who might enjoy it more. I have gotten some of his favorite toys at Goodwill or on Buy Nothing, so I think it is my responsibility to keep putting back into these resources as well.

6. Don't Buy More Storage, Cut Out Stuff

It can be so tempting when the toys are taking over to think of more storage solutions. I get that, and I am not saying we don't have a plastic tub of toys in the basement, but before you get another toy box, book shelf, or hot wheels shelf, why not just give things away? To have a house that makes sense, you need places for everything to go. If you no longer have enough destinations for toys, maybe there are too many toys. If you have so much storage that your kid can't see all of their toys in a day, you probably have more than they need.

passed to us by a neighbor, passed on to a third child in the neighborhood

7. Swap, Borrow, and Get it Used

The difference between a minimalist lifestyle and a house full of toys is seeing possessions as temporary. Join a library and you always have a resource for new books (and a place to connect with other moms and kids). Join your local freecycle or Buy Nothing groups, you can pass kids stuff around. Just ask friends if they want to do book or toy swaps to switch things up in your house.

 I feel like as kids, we treated our toys and collections like they were essential parts of our identities, and it made it hard to let them go even as adults. But your kid can still love Frozen without having every Elsa and Anna item in the world (is that even possible? God bless Disney and their marketing genius). Only a few things can be precious, everything else should be moved around before it sticks to a spot on the shelf.

Every parent of a toddler is constantly encouraging them to share (it's tough!), but this is a way to push that a step further, treating sharing as a part of life.

8. Have Confidence They Have Enough

This is easy to say but so hard to feel. Parents right now are under constant pressure about how they manage their kids, their time, their money, everything. We can look around and see someone else who is doing a better job in various ways. We feel self-concious because that Stay at Home mom gives them so much time (and loves to talk about it). We feel frustrated because we can't give our kids everything they want. We try to compensate by giving little gifts because we can see how happy it makes our kids, even for a second.

We have to have confidence we are giving our kids what they need. Parenting is so tough, because success can me so hard to define or measure- how do you ever know if you are doing alright? Sometimes shopping is as much about ourselves as our kids, because we can at least feel certain we are providing. A bigger house or well-dressed kid makes us feel like we are filling their needs well, not just enough.

But you are doing more than enough just by caring. There isn't a void that you need to fill. It's a cliche, but your kid really does just want to be with you. Go to a playground instead of a store, and you will give them something worth remembering. Get clothes and toys used and save your money. Your kid doesn't know the difference, and you just have to keep building yourself up that you are  doing great at this job just by caring and getting in there. I don't know how to build this confidence more other than reminding ourselves, but it's a constant battle we need to fight. Buying mostly doesn't make us do a better job, but getting in there does.

9. Use What You Have

We all know kids love cardboard boxes, but it is amazing how far you can make one cardboard box go for play time. Blanket forts make amazing memories too, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.

At my job, people donate all sorts of objects that could be "art supplies" for a shopping space and classes for kids. This includes baby food jars, toilet paper rolls, flooring samples, jewelry boxes, gift wrap, broken crayons- all kinds of stuff we tend to see as junk and throw away. But you reframe that for a kid (turn the jewelry box into a robot, use the toliet paper rolls to make fireworks, make a "home" for a stuffed animal), and you can provide hours of entertainment, conversation, learning, and creativity. This isn't conjecture, it is my job and I see it all the time. Junk, when mixed with creative framing, is always an opportunity. Need a rattle? Clean and fill an old bottle with beans.

 That kind of creative play isn't always easy to come up with, so thank goodness we live in the time of pinterest. You can find so many ideas on there.

10. Slow it Down and Just Be Together

I know I am so guilty of this one. As an introvert parent of an extreme extrovert, I often feel desperate for a minute to just catch my breath (or check my email), and some days I know I don't enjoy the time with my kid as much as I should. I feel sometimes like toys are partially just tools to give parents a minute.

Whenever an older generation parent tells me "Oh it goes so fast," I try hard not to roll my eyes. Really? Because this sleep deprivation is making everything move in slow motion.

But there is a lot of wisdom in the suggestion to let things go and slow down to our kids' speed. It doesn't mean we don't get those minutes or that we don't deserve a break while working and parenting, but when you are going to be there, really be there.

 The Bub and I have literally spent hours (this week) playing with a baseball hat and a pair of kitchen tongs. Even with older kids, you don't need many objects to have a perfectly great time. Go for a walk. Go to a playground. Just listen to them. Children are just tiny human beings, and they just want heard like everyone else. A game of tag (or robot tag) can be more fun than any toy, so the more you can focus when the quality time comes, the fewer things you need.



So there you have it, buy less and give more. Change the goals and you may just raise kids who aren't as caught up in this consumerist minefield we are all trying to navigate right now. We both know it creates a lot more work, a tremendous number of problems, and very little of the happiness or solutions that we are constantly promised. We can protect our children's futures from waste and from that constant want by shifting our attitudes now. Let's give ourselves a freaking break and give our kids less.

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Throwback Thursday- Saving Tree Shopping- Recycled and Alternative Paper Products from Home to Office

To celebrate Earth Day this week, I thought I would give you information to make some of the easiest and most cost-effective switches to minimize your impact and make positive changes for the planet! It's great to volunteer. It's great to make large gestures.

But these little choices we make all the time, the choices that look like habits, have some of the greatest impact.

Think of how many paper towels you use in a lifetime! Even if you switch over to recycled now, you could save so many trees from coming down with just your own family's purchases. Even better, every time you purchase post-consumer recycled paper, you send the message to companies that this matters and that it is worth their time and energy to make their products more Earth-friendly. It's a positive feedback loop, and those little good decisions echo outward.

We need trees. They are one of our best and only defenses against the obscene CO2 emissions that are effecting our climate. They work as the lungs for our planet, keeping it cleaner, cooler, and more beautiful. We can forget that every paper towel we use costs us trees, because we are alienated from the source of our product, but if you had to see one of God's creations fall every time you bought paper towels, wouldn't you buy less?

I get that sometimes you need whatever wrapping paper you can find or that you don't have space to buy paper towels in bulk. The point is that no one can do everything, but everyone can do something, so really consider making the switch over for at least some products, especially the ones you buy in bulk (because you know way ahead of time when you will refill that anyway).

A few other things to consider before we go through the list-

1. The closer the paper will be to your body, the more you need to consider what is in it. A lot of the eco-friendly wisdom right now is to not use recycled paper for toilet paper, because some paper that is recycled (namely magazines) has plastic in it. These plastics (not unlike the plastics your food comes packaged in and regular toilet paper is wrapped in) has chemicals that can seriously hurt your endocrine system. So you might consider Tree Free or other options when looking at that kind of paper.

2. Try it once, then Buy in Bulk- Almost all of these are very comparable in price if you just buy in larger quantities (it cuts down on packaging too). I get that you need to try it before you commit to months of it- so definitely do that! Think of it as a long term investment in the Earth.

3. You can read about more options on other posts on this blog. Greening the Basics Part One and Two are my absolute favorites, and they have tons of information you might need. I also wrote a blog on wrapping paper earlier this month, so check out lots of information on that! It's kind of a cool one to change!

Most of the links are to Amazon, where you can do subscribe and save to make eco-friendly choices even more affordable. On the other hand, you can find some of these products at local grocery stores (especially more organic ones) or at big box stores like Costco.

Paper Towels

So basic, such a perfect place to start. Have you ever made a mess so precious that a tree needed to die to clean it? Me either.

To Compare- Bounty Dura Towels- 9.79 (1.63 a roll)

Our Pick-Seventh Generation Unbleached Paper Towels- 4 packs of 6 rolls= 24 rolls- 41.76 (1.74 a roll)- We love them, and I can use one, rinsed multiple times, to clean the whole kitchen. We also like this company because the majority of their products are also made in the US. Never going back.

Three More Options-Seventh Generation White Recycled Paper Towels- 24 rolls- 37.96 (1.58 per roll)

Marcal Small Steps Recycled Paper- Pack of 12 rolls- 28.99 (2.41 a roll)

Boardwalk Recycled Paper Towels (these are the kind you get at restaurants and come on ginormous 800 ft rolls)- 6 rolls- is 35.20 or 5.86 for every 800 foot roll.

Skip the Paper Completely- You can greatly cut down the number of paper towels you use by simple starting with a washcloth. You are going to do laundry anyway, so just throw a kitchen towel in every few days. You might also try bamboo paper towels or Unpaper towels. Both are machine washable and reusable, so they cut way down on waste!

Side note- Do NOT replace paper towels with wipes. Yes, they are easy, but they have plastics that make them impossible to recycle, and they won't break down nearly as well. I get anti-bacterial wipes may come in handy for some jobs, but they aren't an eco-friendly paper replacement.

Tissues

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't find boogers all that precious. Again, this is a perfect place to replace brand new paper products with something recycled.

To Compare- Kleenex come in a wide variety of packs and prices dependent mostly on the fanciness of their packaging. Get something a little fancy and it costs 4 boxes of 50 tissues for 11.49 (about 5 cents a tissue! Pretty steep).

Our Pick- Tree Free Facial Tissue- 30 boxes of 90 tissues (less than 1 cent a tissue)- We tried this bamboo and sugar-cane biodegradable paper substitute as an experiment, and I think we like it pretty darn well. I think the long term plan is to switch to tree-free for toilet paper and get recycled face tissues, but we have so many tissues, it will be a long time before we get there.

Three More Options- Green Forest Facial Tissues- 24 boxes of 175 (about 1 cent a tissue). Not only is this way cheaper, they also have great reviews (my favorite  "I am not a major hippy, but if I could do something good for the environment, why not?") Preach it

Marcal Fluff Out Facial Tissue- 30 100 count boxes-24.99 (not great reviews, but really cost effective if you have a less sensitive nose.

Seventh Generation- Just to compare, their single box of 175 tissues is 2.84. In case you don't have the room to buy in bulk, there are still eco-friendly options for you!

Skip the Paper Completely- Get a hanky? Old-fashioned classy, and a little bit gross.

Napkins

To Compare-Vanity Fair Napkins are about 5 dollars for a 300 count pack (and straight to the Koch Brothers no less). Bounty is about 8 dollars for 400. So about 2 cents a piece on either.

Our Pick- Seventh Generation 2 Pack of 500 unbleached napkins- 90% post-consumer waste- 15.57 (or about 3 cents a napkin). Probably enough napkins to be set for life.

Three More Options- Seventh Generation White Napkins- 250 white napkins- 5.39

Natural Value Napkins (100% recycled/ 80% post-consumer)- 200 Count napkins- 6.37 (3 cents a napkin.

Marcal 100% Recycled Napkins- 400 for 10.69 (about 3 cents a napkin). They are also made in the US and have great reviews.

from Oh Little Rabbit

Skip the Paper Completely- For everyday use (especially for adults), there's really no reason not to just use cloth napkins, which do the job just as well and can be reused oodles of times. You can find cloth napkins at most secondhand stores, or more beautiful  and stylish options on Etsy stores like Oh Little Rabbit, JAQStudio, and Clear Sky Home. The upfront cost might be higher, but you can use them much longer in the end.

Toilet Paper

As I mentioned, this is the most complex of the recycled paper products, and these are just the kinds of issues our children will face ALL the time if we don't get it together as a planet. Plastic is going to choke out good options.

To Compare- The Charmin Bears are an embarrassment to America, to toilet paper, and to bears. Charmin Ultra Strong comes in a pack of 9 for 16.95 (1.88 a roll). Stop buying Charmin and stop the bears.

Our Pick-Seventh Generation- Unbleached with at least 50% post-consumer content- 60 rolls for about 68 dollars (about 1.14 a roll). It serves its purpose and we generally like it. It also comes in all recyclable packaging.

Three More Options- Green 2 Tree Free- If you decide the BPA risk is too much for you, this is your best option. It is made out of bamboo and sugar cane bi-products, both of which are quick-growing and sustainable, and you don't have to worry about BPA at all. If you buy in bulk (96 rolls at 114 dollars, so basically all you need forever, right?), you can get it for 1.16 a roll, which is even cheaper than the other options. This is what we will do from here on out, I think.

Marcal Small Steps- 40 rolls, 1000 sheets each, is 50.66, so about 1.20 a roll.

Skip the Paper Completely- There is a thing called a family cloth. If you are that hardcore, you can look into that. I will never get there.

Paper Plates

We have all been to the picnic with tons of paper plates filling the garbage bag tied to the table. What a waste of trees that these plates are used once and tossed. Can we at least change our approach so that trees aren't wasted?

To Compare-Dixie plates may be made in the US, but they don't use recycled paper and they coat the plates in plastic materials that make it hard to recycle. They are also super cheap- 220 plates cost 17.99 (or about 7 cents a plate)

Our Pick- Chinet's eco option is Made in the USA, made out of recycled materials, and is fully compostable. So like 1000 times better for the Earth than those Dixie or Vanity Fair plates. A Value Pack of 32 costs about 5 dollars, so it is about 15 cents a plate.

Three More Options-Earth's Natural- Compostable plates made out of sugar cane instead of trees (but they are made in China). 9.24 for 50, so about 18 cents a plate.

Stalkmarket- If you are looking for a lot of paper plates, Stalkmarket has a similar product- 420 plates for about 11 cents a plate. Totally compostable, able to handle hot, cold, and the microwave. It looks like you can even get it open box!

Susty Party Supplies- 100% Compostable and Tree-Free, comes in tons of pretty designs- 50 for 12.99

Skip the Paper Completely- Maybe not for your big picnics, but for your little ones, Preserve plates are made of 100% post-consumer plastic and are 100% recyclable. And if you decide you are done with them, you can mail them back to the company, and they will recycle them for you. The plates are 8 for 8.76, so about a dollar a plate, but you would only have to use them a couple of times a summer before  you recouped the cost.

Baking Cups

I love making cupcakes, and I never thought of my liner hoard as problematic (just preparation for future parties!) but I am not sure I am ok with trees coming down for something that is basically a luxury. I mean, are you turning down cake if it doesn't have a cutesy paper on it.

To Compare-Reynold's Baking Cups, the ones I know I have picked up at the store many a time is 36 liners for 1.28 (about 4 cents a liner)

Our Pick- Paper Chef- 2 pack of 60 for 8.25. (about 7 cents a liner). They also have mini and large liners. You can find these in lots of pretty common stores as well.

One More Option- If You Care- FSC Certified- 24 boxes of 60 for 36.25 (or about 3 cents a liner. Cheaper and better for the environment- plus you will basically be set for life). They also come in large and mini.

Skip the Paper Completely- Silicon liners! I can't find any made in America, but they can be used and reused so many times that you could probably save a thousand paper liners in the course of a baking lifetime. Anytime the cupcakes aren't going to leave the house, these make way more sense. We have these fortune ones which happily enable you to eat more cupcakes- best cupcake liners ever (they are 16.07, but they can have infinite use).You can get lots of different bright colored silicone sets- this one or this one.

Printer/Copier Paper

Ok seriously, why is any copier paper not made of recycled paper? This seems like a perfect use for post-consumer waste to just get reused again. Can you imagine if businesses switched over even 10% of their paper to recycled product? It would make such a huge difference!

To Compare- Ok, there is a lot of variety here, but I chose this HP bestseller- Bright White and wrapped in plastic (really, HP?). 20.36 for 500 sheets.

Our Pick- Hammermill Great White- 100% Post-consumer paper (seriously, 100%- why is anyone buying non-recycled printer paper?)- 62.99 for 5000 sheet case.

Three More Options- Printworks 100% postconsumer paper (made in the USA of recycled food packaging)- 400 sheets for 18.56

Staples Copy Paper 100 percent recycled/ FSC certified- 500 sheets for 16.99

Aspen 100- 100% post-consumer recycled- supports projects to build parks in urban areas- 500 for 10.49.

Skip the Paper Completely- Brown Bear Tree Free Paper- Made from bagasse (sugar cane extract)- 5 Ream case for 49.64

Notebooks

We buy so many of these in a lifetime- I loved a fresh new notebook for school shopping as a kid, and I love a new notebook now! I love it even more that you can find so many Earth-friendly options for this!

To Compare- Moleskine notebooks- Used by Ernest Hemmingway or something, but now they are made of all fresh paper and imported. The kind of thing hipsters and academics love because they aren't really paying attention. If the materials are not good, and the labor is not treated fairly, why is the price so high? Time to question what we are paying for. No more Moleskines! One book for 16.85.

Our Pick- Decomposition Books- I love these notebooks so much. Michael Rogers makes them with cool designs and 100% post-consumer recycled paper. They are also made in America. One of my favorite finds from 2015. One Notebook for 10.00. Look through at all the great designs before you pick.

Three More Options- New Leaf Basic- 100% Post-consumer paper/ college-ruled- One composition book for 3.99. Yes, you read that right.

Tops Second Nature Spiral Notebooks- 100% recycled/ 40% post-consumer- One notebook is 3.99.

Mead Notebooks- Classics. 100% recycled. 30% post-consumer- One Notebook 6.89.

Skip the Paper Completely- Onyx makes notebooks out of bamboo paper. Other than that, this is a hard one to do tree-free, but a great area to use recycled materials.

Greeting Cards/ Stationary

To Compare- Hallmark makes some beautiful cards mostly in the US, but they are mostly made of virgin tree paper, and they often come at a pretty high price. One card is often 7 dollars, like this one. Not the worst choice in the world, but we can do better.

Our Pick- I am currently in love with the Arbor Day foundation cards; they cost 6 dollars for one, but they are printed on all-recycled paper and the proceeds go to planting more trees (the price goes down as you order more)! Every card plants a tree. You can do so much good for the Earth and the person you are sending the card to just by buying these cards. So awesome.

Our other pick would be Darice Kraft paper cards; we bought a bulk pack of these blank cards and have used them for invitations and thank you cards so far. It is kind of fun to do the decoration ourselves, and we are using recycled paper! 50 cards for 9 dollars.

Three More Options- Minted sells photo cards much like Shutterfly, but unlike Shutterfly, you can get those printed on recycled paper. It's definitely a little more steep, but we used them for our save the dates and birth announcements, and both turned out beautiful. I don't know if people could even guess the paper was recycled.

Etsy is a PERFECT place to shop for cards made with recycled paper. When you write in "recycled greeting card" on search, you get almost 13,000 results, so there is plenty to choose from. And you will find so many creative options. You could also shop super cheap printables and print them on your own recycled paper! My favorite right now is Everyday's a Holiday.

RECYCLE YOUR CARDS- Ever wondered what to do with the giant pile of greeting cards you have in your house? Donate them to St. Jude's! Kids in one of their spaces (The Ranch) removes the fronts from their old cards and attach them to new backs so they can be reused again! You can buy their cards in packs to support kids with cancer and their families too. Come on, that's really cool. Check out the information here. I am totally doing this from now on!

Gift Bags

The most eco-friendly wrapping style, because as my Mother in Law taught me, you can use a gift bag a million times. A million. Wrapping paper? Once. Let's all become gift bag converts.

To Compare- This Cindus Foil gift bag is very festive and about 2 dollars. You can get them for up to probably 15 dollars depending on how many Disney princesses and Star Wars characters are on it.

Our Pick-Jillson Roberts sells gift bags that are recycled, but come in lots of colors and finishes so they feel bright and festive. You can also get them in bulk, and never buy another gift bag again. Yeah, the finish is plain, but you could buy stickers or get out your markers and decorate it yourself!

Three More Options- Creative Hobbies- 24 pack of 100% recycled kraft paper gift bags- 14.99

Bag Source- 50 Pack of white recycled gift bags- 23.00

Cosco- Kraft paper bags (a little larger) Pack of 50- 14.97

from Amazon

Skip the Paper Completely- Want to gift in a bag that will get LOTS of use? What about a reusable shopping bag? They can use them for all sorts of storage and shopping of their own, and you can even get ones made of recycled plastic.

Wrapping Paper

The bright side of wrapping paper is that you can usually find it Made in America and much of it is recyclable (so good- but look out for foil! You can't do anything with that nonsense, so get your sparkle another way). It is instant garbage, literally waste as soon as you use it, so buying it out of recycled materials just makes sense.

To Compare-American Greetings sells a set of three wrapping paper rolls for about 14 dollars, but this is another one of those things that just runs the gamut.

Our Pick- I may or may not have just bought us a roll of Pratt kraft paper, and much like my previous mountain of tissue paper blunder, I may have actually purchased two lifetimes worth of wrapping paper. Maybe three. But it was only 23 dollars and the color is warm and nice, so I only regret it when The Boy is giving me a dirty look about it.

Three More Options- Jillson Roberts All Occasion Recycled Paper- Bright! 6 rolls for 26.95.

Wrap and Revel- Fancypants and 100% recycled/ 30% post-consumer paper. Too fancy for me, but really pretty. Perfect for a special gift? 4 dollars for 2 19x26 sheets.

Anna Sees Supplies- Recycled kraft paper again. Pretty giftwrapping. 5.50

Skip the Paper Completely- Gift bags my friend! Or wrap your gifts in coloring book pages you already finished. or check pinterest for other cool gift wrap ideas- the options are endless!

So many ways to do well by trees by just switching to more eco-friendly products. You can do this! Want to continue to improve your shopping? Check out that Mega-List of Shopping Lists and brainstorm other purchases you make regularly that you can do in a more eco-friendly way!

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Is "Made in America" Better for the Environment?

Leading up to 4th of July, I have been pushing for us all to buy more Made in America goods. In our house, we tried to buy them exclusively, so I know it can be a huge challenge to try for a month! On average, every 2 out of 10 items Americans buy are actually made here anymore. How depressing is that! At the same time, you might be surprised that with a little research (or just poking through my Epic List of Shopping Lists), you can find most (not all, but definitely most) of the things you want to buy Made in America. 

Companies want to make it seem impossible so that you don't think you can hold them to a higher standard, but this is a lie. You can be a successful brand made here, and that is why I spent June calling out brands from Converse to Martha Stewart to Melissa and Doug for sending all of their labor elsewhere. Lucky for us,  we have other options, so we can stop giving these supposed "American" companies our money. 

Why do it? Lots of amazing websites from Made in the USA Forever to Made in the USA.com to USA Love List spell it out for you.

- It funds more jobs for more Americans

- It keeps money in the American economy

- It help keeps local economies afloat and local factories open

- It (usually) guarantees a certain level of quality and longevity in what you buy

- It denies money to companies who mistreat workers in international factories

While all of these things are well-worth getting excited about, I want to be clear on why buying American, or even more so buying local, directly effects your impact on the environment. Every "green" shopping list that doesn't factor where things are made is making a huge mistake. Buying American can have a HUGE and important impact on everything from the Redwood Forests to the Gulf Stream Waters. Let me bullet point it for you- 

- It takes WAY less fuel to transport something made in Nebraska than something made in China. The fuel costs of importing so many goods (60+% of what we buy) halfway across the world is staggering, and even if the financial cost has been subsidized, the environmental cost is massive. Just think, your lame plastic junk has traveled way further than you. Buying locally or American guarantees you a much smaller carbon footprint. 

- It creates less waste. If you buy something built to last, you will need fewer, and therefore you create less waste and save money in the long run! You can buy a perfectly ok Made in China blender that will last you two years or a Vitamix that will last you ten or more. In the end, you will spend more money replacing things, and you make a hell of a lot more garbage in the process.

- It guarantees much higher environmental standards. In 2005, the Chinese Ministry of Health estimated 200 million workers were exposed to toxic chemicals daily at work. That year, almost 400,000 workers died from "occupational illnesses." And it hasn't gotten much better. 

- It creates safer products. The pollution and toxicity of these products are well proven, and not the kind of thing you want in your house. Do you really want your child playing with toys with lead in them? And then once those plastic goods are "used up," they go into our landfills, our soils, and our water. They shouldn't even exist, so why are you buying them? 

- It minimizes packaging. So much waste is created in the shipping of these products, and this includes the large number of things needed to get them here. Boo.

These make up a small number of the reasons that the shorter your goods travel, the better for the Earth. If you are an American, you have more positive environmental impact by buying regular American towels (like these ones from 1888 Mills) than "organic" ones from China. 

Buying goods made in America and being an environmentally-conscientious shopper look shockingly similar, even if you could care less about the climate, pollution in the water, or our finite supply of fossil fuels. Let me prove it: 

Ok, I am an environmentalist, this is how I prioritize my shopping:

In general, I buy less to minimize the stuff weighing down my house or bound for the landfill. 

When I need it, I buy used to keep perfectly useful items out of the garbage and in good use. 

When I can't find it used, I buy local and made in America to minimize shipping distances and to guarantee a certain environmental standard in the companies I shop from. Bonus- since American stuff is generally made so well, I get to use less in the long run. 

Now, if I shop All-American (like Paul Bunyan and Ron Swanson), this is how I prioritize my shopping:

I buy local and Made in America to support small companies, to put my money back into the United States economy, to make more jobs, and to generally keep making America awesome. 

When I can't afford everything made in America (because good quality means higher prices), I can buy less or buy things used. Can't afford a Made in America grill? Keep your money out of China and shop for a used one at garage sales or on Ebay. 

To make this lifestyle work, you can split your purchases into two categories- Objects you care enough about to buy American and objects you don't care enough about to pay those prices, so you cut the price SIGNIFICANTLY by shopping consignment. Meaning, more money in your budget to buy American goods! 

So, these are basically the same, just a different order. Surprise! We are on the same team.

The truth of the matter is once you start shopping like a steward, whether that be of the environment, the American laborer, or the economy, your priorities change and the process looks different. And that's awesome, because instead of constantly building up your own pile of little negative effects on the world (inequality, pollution, WASTE, etc), you are doing good you don't even anticipate or care about! What a better ripple effect to be a part of! 

In the end, I don't care why you buy American, but I am so glad if you do. Even if you can't take these steps for every purchase you make, you are doing something really great, and I hope you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

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Wedding Wednesday- How to Save on Wedding Decorations

Oy, wedding costs! You go into it with a vision, and then slowly, that vision can be chipped away just by the shrinking amount still left in the budget. Before you are really planning, you spend a lot of time plotting decorations and cool details, but those are often the things that get cut for the sake of the event as a whole. Some of that is inevitable, but I do think there are cool ways to approach decorations that can save you BIG money.

Even better, if you shift your approach to the stuff you buy for the wedding, you can save things from landfills and create less waste. So many of these decor pieces are used one night only, but if they are shared between many couples, they can have much longer and happier lives.

1. Let the Space do the Work- You picked your venues for a reason. Start with that premise and just let the beauty of your wedding and reception spaces shine through. If it's already a good-looking spot, you may not need much. Don't pick a theme that doesn't fit the room, and you have already saved yourself tons of money.

2. Focus on Lighting (and someone can always lend you lights)- If I had to decorate a whole reception with one item, it would be white twinkly lights. Lighting sets the mood, makes everything look intentional (even when it isn't), and adds that magical thing. Even better, you can almost always find lighting as a rental or used. Twice this summer, I have seen brides gifted tons of Christmas lights for their weddings on Buy Nothing. If you do get lights lent to you, be sure to mark who each strand belongs to. Otherwise, you can get this high impact item for very cheap or even free.

3. DIY it- I love browsing the decoration ideas on Etsy, but I am often struck how many of the things on there can just be made- you don't need to buy them! Sparkly branches? Glue, glitter, and a walk in the woods. Tissue paper flowers? Buy some bulk tissue paper and wire. Peg doll cake topper? Paint that business yourself. We made our escort cards from paint swatches- it doesn't have to be expensive to be memorable and fun.

 When you buy decor, you are paying for time and skill. Work ahead so you have the time, and you can self-assess which skills are within your wheelhouse. You can a little bit of money go a lot further this way! Only trick is to plan ahead!

4. Focal Points over Details- I have seen so many weddings where there were fussy centerpiece things at the table but nowhere to look in the room. Make a few spots really worth looking at and don't bother trying to make every corner beautiful. People will only remember a handful of things anyway.

5. Multi-task- Use your favors or cake or guests as decor. You have millions of choices dependent on your favor, but it's a nice way to have something do double duty. I went to a wedding last year where the cakes were the centerpieces, which saves tons of money on flowers, and you get more time with cake, so who can complain? Stepping out of the box even a little might help you figure out how to make what you are already paying for a key part of the room.

6. Everything Doesn't Have to Match Perfectly- Matchy matchy can be great if you are meticulous, but a little variation never hurt anyone. One of my best friends is very detail-oriented and got all the colors to match perfectly at her wedding. And it looked amazing, but it doesn't have to go that way. If you can find 40 free plates that look one way and 50 that look another, and they both fit, just use them both. It's more important to have a set sense of style than an overly particular matching set mentality. That sense of style and vision for the big picture is what will have the impact in the end.

7. And Please Don't Monogram your Napkins- Why. Why. Why. Why is this even still a thing? If you are doing the little cocktail napkins, by all means, get them in a color that resonates with your scheme (even better, get them recycled from a company like Susty). But why is this insta-garbage a good time to remind people whose wedding they are attending? No one has forgotten, and honestly, it is never all that classy. Put your money into other details, and then whatever you don't use can be for another couple or your dinner parties. Put the date on your favors, and skip the rest.

8. Get It Used- This is the most cost-effective AND eco-friendly thing you can do for your wedding decorations. So many wedding decorations become one time use things, and I hate to think of all the perfectly useful objects that get thrown out. But the bright side is you can find so much out there if you just know where to look and don't mind some browsing.

You can find great used decorations:

Newlyweds- We all know these big life events happen in waves. If you have friends getting married before you, check and see what you can get off their hands once they are hitched. We definitely gave decorations away to the Boy's beloved cousin, and our lights to the high school for dances. Your friends will have stuff they are happy to part with. Doesn't perfectly match? Get creative about what you can stretch to fit or change the color of and then offer the rest to others. After your hitched you can pay the favor forward!

On Buy Nothing- Have you joined your local Buy Nothing Project yet? I have seen it all on there- people offering their table runners to other asking for (and receiving) tons of glass vases for their center pieces. Check with your Buy Nothing and you could save 100's of dollars.

Goodwill and other Consignment Stores- Sometimes, this kind of shopping is a bust, but if you know what you need, you might find a steal. Also, lots of cities have craft consignment stores that might sell the ribbon or fabric you need as well.

Online Resale sites- Thank goodness for the internet, because you can now find everything you would ever want to decorate with used. Cheaper, convenient, and keeping things out of landfills? Amazing.

Ruffled is an absolute treasure, and you can find so many gorgeous things on their "Recycle your Wedding" pages. They have at least a thousand items, so it's a lot to go through, but you are sure to find something.  Make sure to check the price against the brand new cost, and don't be afraid to ask them to lower it a little (I mean, what else are they going to do with 100 extra mason jars?) Browse often, because things are going up all the time! You can find a steal on beautiful decorations.I may actually buy some things from them for a non-matrimonial party.

Tradesy- Tradesy started as wedding only, but they have had enough success to branch out. They have all kinds of wedding stuff, from bridesmaid dresses to wedding papers, but their decorations section is especially amazing and well-organized. They have 5,500+ items up right now! Easier to browse than most of the other sites as well. Be sure to join their mailing list so you get even more money off.

Wedding Recycle- This website also has lots of selection (about 3000 items) and they are connected to the Can't Buy me Love Project, where you donate wedding dresses that can be given away to brides who otherwise couldn't afford them. Pretty cool.

So you may be overwhelmed with the amount of money you have already spent nailing down the DJ and planning with the caterer. I don't blame you- weddings are expensive! But decorations is an area that with a little creativity, you can make huge impact with a little bit of money.

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Wedding Wednesday- 10 (Eco-friendly) Ways to be the Favorite Shower Guest

In one lifetime, most women will go to a LOT of bridal showers. Some will be of women who absolutely own our hearts. Others will be for our boyfriend's cousin's fiance where we will awkwardly sit in the corner. Either way, there will be a registry, and there will be a long chunk of shindig where we watch the bride, groom, or both open gifts.

So, how does bridal showering change when you are trying to be eco-friendly or buy local?

It can be a challenge. The couple gets to make an exact list of what they want, and if it turns out to be full of Made in Elsewhere junk that hurts your heart to buy, you can really feel stuck between compromising your own priorities or being the jerk buying decorative birdhouses.

These are my best ideas of how to be an awesome guest, how to break the mold enough to be interesting, but not so much that you are the one they tell stories about later. You can kick ass at bridal showering and stay eco-friendly! Here's how:

1. Pair the Personal with the Practical- Something small and personal makes for the most memorable gifts. One of our friends gave us a little stone with our faces painted on as a wedding gift. It is still one of my favorites. I also received two quilts and a blanket that I love and continue to be in use at our house. If you know the wedding colors or something they might need for the wedding, you could go that route. We received some things that were thoughtful, but not that useful (a lot of decorative platters) and some that were practical but not personal, but if you can combine registry desires with a personalized theme or something you made yourself, you can really nail the gift.

2. Forget Adulting, Put in for the Honeymoon- Looking at the registry and having trouble finding an eco-friendly option? Ugh, that smarts. The couple may be equally happy to accept money OR if you want to go big, ask after their honeymoon and put money specifically toward that. Wedding showers are especially all about practicality, and that can become a drag, so see if you can't invest in a cool memory for them on their trip.

There are registries specific for honeymoon funds, but even if they don't have one, I bet they will love the help. I know one of my friends skipped out on the activity she most wanted to do, because it was too expensive. In retrospect, I wish I could have skipped the wedding/shower gift and put money in for that. Stuff is just stuff, but making new and amazing memories can fuel a marriage.

3. Come Prepared to Have Fun- You want to give your bride a gift? Have a great time. The hosts can only prepare so much- once you get to a party, the fun of the shindig depends on all of the guests. Time to play silly games? Go into it with Olympic intensity to make it awesome. Small talking with the bride's crazy relatives? Lean in, my friend. Don't sit in the corner, only hang out with your people, or worst of all, let someone else be uncomfortable or alone.

At a wedding, in my expert opinion, you are contractually obligated to start the bride and groom's marriage off with a full dance floor and happy faces. Do the shower version of that.

4. Write a Good Note- Showers can be overwhelming events where the bride or groom doesn't get the time they hope for with each guest (I know I felt that way). No matter what you decide to gift, a thoughtful note and some encouragement might be the best gift you can give. Write something personal and genuine, and you could very well make his or her day when they can really go through things without an audience.

5. Skip the Lingerie- No one wants to open something seedy with all of their aunts watching. Maybe someone does, but if you aren't sure that is that bride, just skip it. If you want to do something romantic, buy some gift certificates to local restaurants and invest in some date nights. Seriously, underwear gifts are way more weird than clever.

6. Go in Together for One Gift- Don't hate- collaborate! You may not have the.budget for a really fabulous gift, but you could go in with other guests to go big. We get into this idea that more gifts= better gifts, but there is something to be said for a gift they may not be able to afford themselves. They can go buy a kitchen clock themselves, but a new set of knives might be way out of reach. Not to mention, this gesture might save them from the long, awkward present-opening part of the shindig, which is a lot of pressure.

You can do this two ways- collect money anonymously, and figure out what you an buy with it. Or, pick something first and let people donate with knowledge of the endpoint. Spend less time worrying whether the generosity is equal- it's not a competition.

7. Take Pictures- Ok, maybe this seems silly, but I think one of the best things you can do for a couple on the path to getting married (or having a baby) is to be positive, enthusiastic, and to help document any and all festivities. You get to the other end of things and can feel like it slipped through your fingers, so some pictures from others helps them have a fuller perspective on these days and all of the good stuff happening. It costs you no money, minimal time, and can really be so sweet and thoughtful.

8. Make the Switch or Get out of the Box- Not excited about the registry? You can try to do a switch out using my suggestions on The Eco-Friendly and Made in America Wedding Registry. Don't see anything that speaks to you? What are some other things they will definitely need? What about movie tickets or some other kind of date night? Gift cards for take out places with their menus? A cheese of the month club. Invest in the memories they will make as a couple! Or go a totally different route and cut out a practical concern for them- give them all the quarters they will ever need for laundry with The Simply Co soap and dryer balls. Get them all the tissues they will ever need and a throw blanket for sick days. Get them Amazon Prime or a netflix subscription. By shifting your paradigm to less concrete gifts, you can really come up with something cool.

9. Buy 3 Used Gifts Instead of One New One- This is true for baby showers too- some things on registries (measuring cups, anything glass, kitchen tools) are ALWAYS for sale in consignment and antique stores. Still look at what they want, but get something a little more special and a LOT more cost-effective. You can get 4 kitchen tools at Goodwill for the same cost as one from Bed Bath and Beyond. Way to help them fill up that kitchen AND reduce waste!

10. It's All About Them- Sometimes you know the bride or groom better than others; it is well worth it to keep who they are in mind before you go for it. Maybe they are the kind of people who would LOVE practical gifts like a year's worth of paper towels and toilet paper- think of the drudgery they can skip! Other people would hate it. If you aren't sure, call one of those numbers on the RSVP line and ask them. If it still seems risky, do 60% what they said they want and 40% something a little riskier.

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5 Things for the Last Five Days- Tables, Toothbrushes, and Ending Plastic in France

The election and the discourse around it has really been bumming me out the past few days (really, how did this happen?), but there are actually so many awesome things going on too, so let's focus on that.

1. Another Family Project- Our table and chairs cost us less than 150 dollars in all (Buy Nothing plus Antique Liquidators), but it also costs a lot of time. We have been working on this set off and on for a year (though progress was halted by a pregnant wife and Seattle rain). This week, the Boy's dad got in on the sanding action, and we have some real momentum going again. It sounds silly, but I am happy to have some sanding dust blowing around again, and even if the table has not been our most timely adventure, it will be that much cooler when it is done.

Preserve on Amazon

2. Preserve Kids' Toothbrushes- The Bub has graduated from his banana brush, and lucky for us, you can buy Preserve kids toothbrushes in bulk and save a little money. Even better, they donate money to saving wildlife for every brush you buy! Eat that Oral-B! Happy to be making a slightly better world for him. Also happy he will stop trying to steal our toothbrushes because he has his own. Because toothbrush-sharing is gross.

3.France Bans Plastic Cups and Cutlery- YES! Between this news and Morocco's ban on plastic bags, it is a good time to be a bougie environmentalist. Hopefully within our lifetime, everyone will follow suit so our oceans can start getting cleaner instead of nastier! If you want to join in on avoiding plastic disposables now, check out this post for tons of better options.

4. Okay, No More Buying Things- Holy crow, we bought a car. We have shared the same Dodge Neon that The Boy got for his 16th birthday for years. It will be good, because now we can fit another person in the backseat, so we aren't quite as stranded when we have company. And we got a Prius, so we will cut down on our footprint that way eventually (at least we are moving in the right direction). But having a child, refinancing a house, and buying a car in one month is enough adulting to last us the rest of the year, right? One of the bonuses of buying less is that you literally buy less, so I am done fretting over any adult money-spending for a while.

5. Seventh Generation was Bought out by Unilever- Why would I be excited this company I have loved was bought by a huge conglomerate? Won't I have to switch over a lot of our house basics? Probably, but that is Future Barbara's problem, and for now I am just pumped that eco-conscious companies have enough juice that they look like good investments. This is EXACTLY what this blog is talking about- the more you buy environmentally-responsible items, the more companies get the picture. The first place I read about this saw Seventh Generation as a niche market for hipsters, but I am not a hipster. Just a person who cares. Wrong, sucker! This is important, because it shows Seventh Generation and recycled paper goods and organic cleaning supplies in general have broad appeal. If you aren't on board yet, now is as good a time as any- just switching to recycled paper towels and tissues will save hundreds of thousands of trees.

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Hey Matt Walsh: Take it Easy on Young People

This week another Matt Walsh blog has been floating around my facebook newsfeed, and though I generally like the frankness of his writing, I really though this blog was more destructive than interesting. Matt was encouraging people in their 20's to get married and have babies- revolutionary, right? I think that this blog hit on a few of the key assumptions that I think are very destructive to our mission as Christians:

1. This (insert choice here) has worked really well for me, so clearly everyone should do it.
2. Oh, this choice doesn't fit you? Then clearly there is something really really wrong with you (because it couldn't possibly be my plan or perspective, which should fit everyone).

This set of moves in logic drives me absolutely nuts, as it tries to negate the many privilege you have that fuel your choices ("everyone should buy a Ferari, and if you don't, it must be because you are stupid") and the profound, deep, and beautiful differences between people (all of whom were made by the same God). As a 28 year old who is in fact married and having a baby, you would think I would support his argument, but I mostly think he is way off base this time. Here's why:

Walsh starts off his argument by saying that we are the most marriage-averse generation in history, and therefore our current behavior is another sign of society's destruction. I mean, we could spend a whole blog just talking about how narrow minded and historically incorrect that point is. Maybe he means in Western history? Judeo Christian history? Not to mention, if you measure marriage ages against average lifespans, we aren't that far off the general mark.

 Also, does being married at 25 really make you that radically different from your peers? I have a very large collection of bridesmaid dresses that beg to differ. If the social-expectation has changed, it hasn't done so in such a dramatic way that a married person in their mid-20's has become am exotic rare flower. Less marriages? Sure, yes. So much so that it deserves this sense of urgency? I don't thik so.

Walsh sees the institution of marriage as "integral to our advancement" as a species, and again, he isn't wrong (I mean, if we all suddenly stopped being able to reproduce Children of Men style, we would be in trouble), but the situation also does seem more complex than that. We are one of the first generations who can clearly see the cost of very dense human populations on the world's resources, and I think you could make the argument that taking it slightly easier on reproducing can be beneficial to the ever-growing population of unwanted children (I know at least two unrelated people who chose to adopt rather than marry and bear children) as well as the potential problems of population overgrowth. Maybe Matt Walsh is in the "Global Warming, who?" pack of Christians, and I can actually respect that, but there is an absolute arrogance to suggesting that the duggars are doing the world 19 times the favor by having way more kids, using way more resources, and announcing their pregnancies 10 minutes after conception.

I also think he is only talking about marriage as the heteronormative privilege (hence the extreme focus on child-making), leaving out the fact that not everyone can get married. Just the choice is a privilege many still don't have, and I don't think that should be forgotten here.

Marriage and kids obviously doesn't have to mean super-spawning, but the starting suggestion that we are self-destructing because we aren't all hankering to populate the Earth might have as much to do with what the world looks like (I mean, most of us also aren't living agrarian lifestyles, and therefore don't need to produce our own workforce) as a generational attitude.


Matt implores us, his friends, to not be afraid of marriage. I think that's a fair enough request. Avoiding anything because you are afraid of it is a pretty sad and self-defeating way to live. But so is doing things just because you think it is what you are "supposed to do." Again, not everyone even can do it, so the access to it is not as simple or self-evident as the essay suggests. He seems to only be writing to people who are just like him, meaning they probably also think just like him already.

I am married. I am going to have a baby, so I can't say "oh this institution is bunk." I like being married so far, and I do think everyone should have the choice to do it. But I can also recognize that I benefit from a lot of privileges that make the choice available and just doable. So here are a few factors I think Matt got wrong or should consider more fully:

1. Not everyone needs marriage- Matt points out early in the article that he lived completely on his own and then with a spouse. He prefers living with his wife over living alone. Awesome. I am happy for you, but is it not possible that some people might actually enjoy being alone more? I mean, you can find these figures in the Bible, so we know it isn't the only available focus. I also completely believe that God gives a lot of important and loving relationships in our life; it is cool when we can have a spouse who fits in that category, but to not notice the other hugely important bonds you have in your life is kind of ungrateful. Siblings, friends, and room mates can hold equally important positions in a heart. These other relationships and priorities can require equal commitment and labor, but it may not look as conventional from the outside. Again, just because this one source works for you does not mean that is the case for everyone.

2. "Just be more Mature" is not Helpful Advice- A number of Matt's points (1, 3, and 5) suggest that you can't wait until you have your life/ money/ career totally worked out before you get married because that will never happen. In theory, I actually totally agree with that; my experience with adulthood so far is that no one ever knows what the heck they are doing, so you have to take some leaps before you totally understand the situation, or you will stand still your whole life. Truth.

On the other (very important) hand, we are not projects for another person to fix. No one is ever going to help you get to a good point with yourself, and I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all. You will keep growing and changing, and the amazing trick of lasting marriages is somehow coordinating that change, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be good with who you are at the starting gate. If you get married too early in your 20's, you cut off those few years where you don't owe your choices to parents or your spouse. You only have a teeny window to factor only yourself into that equation, and though that time isn't necessary for everyone, it is essential for others. It doesn't make you selfish to want to have independent growth, it is selfish to expect someone else to take care of that growth for us. Taking your time and making the decision with some experience behind it could show more respect for the decision.

3. Priorities aren't necessarily jumbled because they don't look like yours- Yeah, you basically do need money (and basic money-handling skills) to be married! I love that he feels like people aren't getting married because they want to buy iphones. How condescending can you be, man? Money is a tremendously stressful part of our lives, and in general, many people don't get into the jobs they want or trained for until struggling through free labor and minimum wage situations. Bringing in that level of stress to a marriage shows a lack of maturity to me, if anything. Feeding 2 people costs more than one, and even if you can minimize that impact as you add more and more, but it doesn't change the fact that you need to figure out how to feed one first. 

I would say the key positive advice here is to take the time to know what your priorities are, because spending money on stuff that isn't even that important to you is easy to fall into. I know that I have trouble sometimes accepting other people's priorities, but you don't get to say someone else is being selfish just because they don't do life like you do. I can remember on more than one occasion a friend telling me they can't travel like we do because they are married/ have a baby/ aren't rich like us. We prioritized travel for a long time (giving up lots of other things), because we valued our relationships with our extended family that much. We could have gotten married and started spawning sooner if we didn't want to see our grandmas multiple times a year, but that isn't who we are, and I have no interest in apologizing for it. Nor do I think anyone else should. If you want an iphone, or a trip to France, or to be able to volunteer and go on mission trips more than you want to be married, why would that be a bad thing?

4. The Right One (Soulmate, One and Only, etc) does not Exist, but there are Plenty of Wrong Ones- I don't believe in soul mates or the One, and I also do think it can create a situation where you can hand off responsibility to fate when maybe taking care of your relationship would be a healthier course. At the same time, just because there isn't a One and Only doesn't mean any interested applicant would fit just fine. As a kid, I thought you could make it work with anyone if you wanted it bad enough, but that assumption is totally and ridiculously wrong. Compatible communication styles matter. Shared values matter. Please, for goodness sakes, be choosy and don't hand your heart off to anyone who shows interest. Finding a good partner, who you really can be friends with, seems way more important to me than just locking something down.

5. Boooooo Lame Tropes about Biology- I have generally enjoyed Matt Walsh because he seems deeply respectful of the women in his life, but all of number 7 is a straight-to-all-you-vagina-carriers  bummer. It again suggests that there is one path to reproduction and nothing else matters, when that clearly isn't the case for SO MANY PEOPLE. Not to mention this kind of "have your babies now or you NEVER GET BABIES" narrative is not only false, but it traps women back into some Susie Homemaker role. I agree that our biology is not a mistake, but I don't agree that just because pregnancy at 22 is the path of least biological resistance means it is the right (or even available) choice for someone else. I love living in a world where multiple routes to parenthood exists, and I wish Matt was a lot more open-minded on this front. Pregnancy and parenting are hard on your mind, your body, and your time. Someone has to take care of that tiny person, and it is a simultaneously selfless and totally selfish thing to devote time you could be giving to others to a tiny person that continues your own "legacy." If you want to invest your body or time or things elsewhere, I say phooey on anyone who makes you feel bad about it (I also say phooey on anyone who tries to make you feel bad for choosing to have kids). You only have so much effort and time, that is absolutely true, but creating some arbitrary finish lines robs you of the value of what you are doing now. And on that note...

6. Maybe marriage and parenthood will be the best adventure of your life. Or it could be going to nurse children's heart surgeries in Africa. Or writing your first book. Or becoming a badass embroidery artist. Or curing cancer. Or going on a balloon journey across the ocean-  I am glad that Matt is so happy with his choice, and that it has proven to be so exciting and enriching for him. But I am not Matt. And neither are any of you. So have the adventures you want to have, because really, if your dream is to build the Eiffel Tower out of dry spaghetti or make the next great American film, or lobby against handguns or for animal shelters, or speak 10 languages, those are all pretty awesome adventures too. I want to hear all about those. Even if you get married and have kids, please have your adventures too. I hate the suggestion that the dream of a family should trump all other dreams. In relationships, you have to have your own interests and growth to keep bringing something fresh to the table; I can't see why that wouldn't be the same for families.

7. No, You aren't your Parents. But then again, you kind of are (and no matter what, you are carrying a bunch of their nonsense with you)- Matt happily owns that his parents remain married, then suggests that many of us poor millenials are "jaded" by our unhappy childhoods. I find it interesting that Matt feels we were victimized by our "selfish, immature parents" while simultaneously suggesting we get married sooner (wouldn't it be better not to reproduce until some of that selfishness was worked out?). But I would argue that so many adults whose parents were divorced aren't jaded, but take deeply seriously the incredible challenges marriage brings with it. This business is incredibly difficult, and you put everything you are on the line to make it work. We see how crushing it is to everyone when it fails, and I have had so many long, deep conversations about how we can do it differently, but also how we know we are the same. Matt chalks it all up to our parents' choices, but from my perspective, sometimes a bad fit doesn't immediately reveal itself. Or not everyone is in on the choice to dissolve a marriage. A partnership can promote a lot of growth, but the destruction of one leaves scars forever, and pretending they don't exist is a fool's game.

Not to mention, if you haven't lived in a household with a happy marriage at the center of it, you have to author your own idea of what a happy marriage would even look like. In some ways, I think this is incredibly freeing, but building something totally new just takes longer than taking a path that you've already seen work.

Couldn't it be that our generations isn't being flippant or selfish or even afraid, but that we are taking the institution of marriage more seriously by taking our time, making informed decisions, and choosing a path that specifically fits our understandings of ourselves? I am the same age as Matt Walsh and stand on the other end of my 20's just like him. I just don't think there is a wrong way to do it as long as you aren't hurting yourself or others. I am excited and encouraged to see all of the ways people get from here to there, and I feel relieved that there is no one finish line we are all racing toward. Everyone gets to make their own path and design their own life the way that best suits them, and in general, I see people taking that responsibility very seriously (and no, not just in some naval-gazing way, but asking great questions about who they are so they can really give to others). We are also one of the most volunteering generations since that history has been documented, and I don't think that is unrelated to the same trends Matt bemoans.

I understand that when you like the way things are going, you want so badly for everyone to get to feel that same joy, but I think essays like these make the mistake of taking that instinct too far. Someone making another choice doesn't make your choice (or theirs) bad. The beauty of reaching your 20's is that we are each fulfilling our own goals, so grading someone else by your rubric of happiness or priorities becomes completely (and thankfully) ineffective. So get married if you want (I never turn down an occasion for cake), or don't, or do it later, or do it once everyone can do it. I think we can each individually put goodness, selflessness, and love into the world in a way that fits exactly the person God made them into, and that's a beautiful miracle, not a threat. 







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