Fun and Unique Second Birthday Gift Ideas (that are Better for the Environment too)

Life comes in waves- babies, weddings, even funerals seem to happen in bunches.  Right now, we are in the midst of a toddler birthday phase of life. Even though we have a toddler, it can still be intimidating to approach buying presents for little kids- there are so many choices!

Since I have an (almost) two year old, I have some solid guesses at what will be a big hit and what may not work as well.

First, this may be hard to believe, but less is better. By two years in, most parents would probably be giddy to have you take some toys OUT of their house! We, especially as Americans, feel tremendous (but often unspoken) pressure to display our love through quantity. Want to give an amazing gift? Clearly a giant plastic thing with lights and doodads is the answer! Except, that plastic is now polluting the water and land, those lights waste electricity (they don't need them! if your kid loves lights, get them a flashlight), and those cheap, imported toys may have been made by unethical or even child labor.

We are making so many problems that these children will have to face later, not to mention teaching them habits that are unhealthy and unsustainable. You want to give a kickass gift against the grain? Think about their future too!

Here are my other tips for things to absolutely avoid if you want to get a great gift and make a better for future for the kid you love:

- Anything Too Big- That tent or giant darth vader might make a big impact on the gift table, but if it takes up a ton of room, it might be a real problem. This isn't an absolute no, but it's definitely worth checking in with the parents before you do that. If you want something big, you might try these Mondo Bloxx, which we have had so much fun with.

- Fresh Plastic- I have made a resolution in our house to avoid any fresh plastic toys. They only create waste, introduce potentially toxic chemicals into the home, and pose more problems for them in the future (I don't want my kids to be the adults from Wall-E, for goodness sakes). Don't cry for my kiddos- they still have a slide in the backyard and ramps for their car toys. They are just used! If you have your heart set on something plastic, go check out Goodwill or a kids consignment shop.

-Melissa and Doug- These con people market themselves as more wholesome and well-made than anything else in the toy section, but it is a TOTAL lie. Once upon a time, they made their toys stateside, but now they manufacture solely in China. If you want to support American businesses or buy wood toys that aren't coated in nastiness, check out this post for some of the best options.

- Too Many Characters- They are getting to that age where they love the cars from Cars or Anna and Elsa. But  months from now, they may love something totally different. Giving a character gift just puts a shelf life on whatever you are giving. Not to mention, your gift might totally blend into the pile. If they really love Thomas, check to see if the train is coming anywhere near you (yes, he is always on tour from what I can tell). Or Disney on ice tickets! Or, go another route and buy them a pack of stickers with the characters on it with a gift that has more longevity. I know I have made this mistake more than once, so I get the appeal, but if the child really loves Nemo that much, I bet he/she already has a nemo stuffed animal. Next idea!

-Stuffed Animals. Trust me, the toddler you know probably already has plenty. They take a lot of room, most serve the same basic purpose, and very few are made anywhere nearby. Now that I have kids, I would probably never go this route, because we are always fighting back the hoard. If you are going that route, check out Bears for Humanity (they donate a bear for every bear you buy, are organi, use recycled polyfill, AND employ Americans for their manufacturing) or one of the super cute stuffed things from Taraluna.

You may notice, this is a short list, but it cuts out most of the toy sections in Walmart and Target. It makes me look like quite a party pooper.

 Don't sweat it, there are actually TONS of other options that are both more memorable AND more fun. You can do this! Here are my best ideas, based on my reading about child development at this juncture and my experience as a mom.

1. Paint or Crayons

These kids have FINALLY reached the point where their first instinct with art supplies isn't to eat them. This is a big deal. Mark-making and creativity are hugely important in a toddler's life. It gives them agency, helps them explore colors and representation, and sets them up to learn letters in coming years. Markers, crayons, and paints are gifts they can come back to again and again for years.

As far as brands go, no one does better for markers and crayons than Crayola- both are made Stateside, and you can even mail the markers back to them when they die, and they will be recycled.  Many of their kids washable paints are as well. If you want something more original, you could look up "recycled crayons" on Etsy or even make your own out of the crayon nubbins in your house!

Looking for something bigger? Kids easels are one of the most common finds at Goodwill or even on Buy Nothing (that's where we got ours), so it might be easy to revamp. I couldn't find any Made in the USA, so plan ahead and jump at a good one if you see it. You could also throw in The Day the Crayons Quit or Harold and the Purple Crayon to go with the theme.

from Mulberry and June

2. A Backpack

We cleaned out and revamped a little backpack my brother and I kept crayons in when we were kids, and my son loves filling it with stuff, putting it on, and wearing it around. It's bright but simple, and he uses it a lot for play (and I bet it will start getting practical use this year. Kids this age love having their own bags, so you could revamp one of your old bags , find a toddler's backpack at Goodwill or get something new and American-made from stores like Happyluxe, Omac Packs (from Erie, PA!), Stitch Crafty 4 U,  Mulberry and June, or Weepereas (love these! So cute).

Remember, a character might seem like a great idea now, but I wouldn't go that route. The characters they love change fast sometimes.

3. Snappies, Buckles, and Buttons

This is the year many toddlers want to do things themselves, and this definitely includes clothes. Our son loves all kinds of fasteners, and "snappies, please" is said about 50 times a day in our house (he can't get them apart on his own). My husband bought him this fabric covered in snappies from the 5 an 10 Market. One of our friends even made one himself (so resourceful). A perfect car toy, and so simple.

4. Tickets

Tickets for activities may not get the big box-opening moment, but how many of those do you actually remember from when you are a kid? Instead, tickets to something special, like a train ride, the zoo, or even their first movie tickets could make a great memory, especially if you are around to do the activity with them. Toddlers can really love new experiences, even more so than toys (which they have too many of already), so think about something they love and how you can bring that to life, rather than buy them one more toy that will fade into the pile.

5. Mix CD's (or music playlists)

I know this sounds hipster or retro, but trust me, you can be a birthday hero if you save those parents from Raffi.The Bub loves to dance and sing, and we are always trying to find new songs that he will love and we will only hate a little. If you want to step it up, you could have the first letter of each song spell out the toddler's name or find a song with their name in it. It doesn't have to cost you money to be a great gift. My Grammy and cousin have made us mix cds we absolutely love.

Want to step it up? Add in a book or two about music or get some bells or musical instruments. Sure to be a hit!

6. Bath Toys

People will think of regular toys, but especially if you don't have little ones, you can forget about the awesome power of the bath toy. Our favorites are these rubber duckies, the boats and cups from Green Toys, and foam letters we got on Buy Nothing. Cups will work, as kids love to pour. I also think color tablets like these would be really fun. The biggest thing is to avoid toys where water can get stuck inside and grow mold.

7. Brooms, Shovels, Play Kitchens, or Any Household Drudgery you Hate

2 year olds really want to do what the grown ups are doing, so you can have a big hit by gifting objects you would NEVER want as a gift yourself (or the tiny toddler version). You can split this into two categories- participation play and pretend play.

Some of their early pretending is often in kitchens because they see that modeled all the time, so play food, play kitchens, play tools, play gardening sets can all really resonate based mostly on what they watch the grown ups in their lives do.

You can find so much great play food on Etsy, and if you want to get a kitchen, I highly recommend checking your Buy Nothing or Etsy first. Little Tikes does make a few in the US, but I am suspicious of that "out of US and imported parts" add on. We have this one, which is great for a growing kid, but all of the accessory toys were made in China (bummer). You are better off to find something used.

 Even cooler, check pinterest for ideas on how to make any old janky piece of furniture into an adorable play kitchen. If you have the time, you could give such an amazing gift that costs you nearly no money.

All of this is fine and good, but participation play is easily as popular in our house. You know what would be a beloved gift for my son? A broom. He loves to sweep with us, but the poor child is usually stuck with the swiffer. He currently treasures a soft measuring tape used for sewing. He LOVES it. He even loves brushing his teeth when we do, because he wants to keep in the action. He likes playing with shopping bags, packing things into spare suitcases, and carrying my weed bucket (a former bakery bucket I got off Buy Nothing) around our yard and collecting leaves. He just wants to help.

Things that would be the worst gift in the world to an adult might be the absolute coolest to a little kid. Sure, you could buy some, but you could also look around your house and ask yourself what might be cool and safe for a toddler, because their standards for cool and fun are totally different. Will the parents give you a funny look if you give their kid measuring tape or an old keyboard? Probably, but they will also get it.

Re-Play from Amazon

8. Eating Tools

We never seem to have enough plates, bowls, or silverware (partially because they get used as toys). I will absolutely swear by Re-Play stuff for kids. They sell sippy cups, bowls, plates, silverware, snack stacks, and regular cups (perfect for the bath or play kitchen). It's made of recycled food safe plastic in the US, it comes in gorgeous bright colors, and it isn't all that different in price from something made of fresh plastic. They sell Re-Play at Walmart and Target now too, so this is a perfect last minute purchase if you don't have time to poke around but you still want to be eco-friendly.

As I said, I am not bringing new plastic into this house- when I see what plastic is doing to our oceans (and I think of the problems my children will face because of it), I just can't do it. This is a great gift for a child now, but it also invests in their future by supporting post-consumer recycled products and keeping plastics out of landfills and water.

9. Clothes... One Size Up

A year before, the toddler was growing out of their clothes every few months. Now, they grow out of things... every few months. Slightly bigger basics (jeans, t-shirts, socks, simple things) may not be a hit with the bub, but their parents will love you for it. My favorite Made in America companies for basics are City Threads and American Apparel- their clothes are cute and stylish without being too expensive. Buy them basics with one fun accessory they can use now (a tutu, a dinosaur hoodie, a superhero cape), and you can please everybody.

Want bonus points? Check in with a parent and buy the kid a pair of shoes a size up. We are constantly trying to stay stocked on shoes.

There is one more trick to this, and that is to buy clothes used. If you want to spend 25 dollars on said child, you can either buy one outfit from Carter's, or you can find something equally cute in consignment and then buy 3 other things. Toddlers ruin things, with paint, dirt, all kinds of nonsense. I would rather get things from consignment than a precious outfit I can never trust him to wear. Kids consignment stores are EVERYWHERE, and if you can't find one nearby, online thrift shop Thred Up has great stuff.

10. Anything on Wheels 

Kids this size just love to move things, and wheels are almost always a favorite, regardless of gender. If you want to get all heteronormative (or they do, because even if you don't encourage these things, they creep up), you could do a car for a boy and a stroller for a girl. Or this badass pink dump truck. Green Toys again nails this category- made in the US out of recycled plastic, and they have every kind of motorized vehicle to play with. Also, animals who have been monstrously amputated to have wheels for feet.

If I had any advice, I would say go small on wheeled things; the big ones seem cool, but things that fit well in their hand get more use. And if you have to do Hot Wheels, get them used. You can find used Hot Wheel cars anywhere they sell used toys, usually for 25 cents or so. No need to buy a new one. Basically ever. There have to be enough hot wheels in the world for any kid who wants one, as long as parents donate them- don't throw them out!

 I also really love Maple Landmark's cars and train sets, so that might be a good place to start. We bought their trolley for our older son when our younger was born, and it has been a big hit.

That's the list! I hope it inspired you to think of an awesome gift! I will say, books were not included because I feel like this depends a lot on households, whether they prefer library books over owning a lot, etc. That being said, in my opinion, books are always a good idea. They love them, they build language skills, and the ones that don't go well can easily be donated to help other kids. Also picking up speed in our house is puzzles and his legos. They get as much or more return use than the cars at this point, so they are well worth considering.

Happy birthday to the little one in your life! If you want more eco-frendly shopping ideas, check out my Mega List of Shopping Lists!

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Really? Thought Catalog's Top 10 Fictional Boyfriends (and Who Might Be Better)

Today Chelsea Fagan's blog on the Top Ten fictional boyfriends got passed around the internet, and wow, some women realy like losers. If you want to check out the original it is here at this link- http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/the-10-best-fictional-boyfriends/ I'm going to work off the assumption that she is talking about all heterosexual men, as in "I am a heterosexual woman and if this person were real I would date them" She got a couple right:

1.Aidan from Sex in the City-Cute, arty laborish, woefully mistreated. Aidan is definitely one of the best Sex and the City men (though I think Steve and Harry are the real winners). And you just have to forgive the hair from the early years. We all have our phases.

2.Tom from 500 Days of Summer-He's fine? I mean, I don't remember much but some pining eyes and then sad eyes. And one dance number. He makes the winner list because I love a man with no shame about public dancing, and Hall and Oates takes it to another level. Also, now that I look for a picture of him I notice there were a lot of sweater vests in play- not a positive or a negative, just something I noticed.

3.Aladdin- He's spunky, voiced by the guy from Full House, and is certainly more interesting than most of the turds Disney princesses have to deal with. Sure, he lies to his girlfriend the majority of the movie, but all in all, not her worst pick.

4. Ron Weasley-For a long time, Ron Weasley was my favorite Harry Potter character, until I realized that Neville actually owns my heart. I'm telling you, the nerdier are, the better. Ron is a ginger, loyal, funny, and appropriate levels of afraid of Hermoine. All in all he is a definite winner. Written and on film, Weasley is probably the best of the bunch.

 Borderline, but I am as guilty as anyone:

 1. Mr. Darcy- An ass like 80% into the book. Looks like Colin Firth even as you read the book (somehow, his Firthiness shines through- that's probably why he played the part again in Bridget Jones Diary- he is so good at that stare). I think maybe it gets more credit than others because she doesn't love him to his gooey center. She basically tells him to screw off and he has to go off and learn to be better before she ever gives him a chance. That's a key difference here.

And then there are the other ones:

1. The Beast- Holy crap, are you kidding me? Beauty and the Beast is an absolute mainstay in every Into to Feminism class ever. It is the perfect example of Disney's absolutely warped models of relationships as presented to little girls. The guy locked her father in a tower! He screamed at her and threatened her with violence!  This sets up one of the worst girlfriend dynamics- the good old "you don't understand him like I do." Really? Because what I understand is that your boyfriend is an emotionally abusive asshole. Major boyfriend fail.

 2. Jesse Pinkman- Yes, he does have pretty blue eyes. He is also a drug dealer. And he's killed people. Again, ladies, no gooey center is going to save you from outside crazy or stupid. Let's shoot for men who can function on both levels! It's not an impossible dream!

3. Josh from Clueless- Trust me, I love Paul Rudd as much as the next girl, and he is ridiculously cute in this movie. But don't we all know the guy in his 20's who are dating high school girls? They usually have HPV and all sorts of crazy business. I don't necessarily think age is a primary issue, but there are milestones in life that turn into a great divide. If you have lived on your own, you should not  date someone who has only lived with their parents, etc.

4. George from George of the Jungle- Did she just run out of movies? It's a weird choice, which she pretty much admits, but we are missing exactly why he makes the list. Because Brendan topless is not even sort of a good reason. He's not cute! Also, anyone with more than one fart joke is pretty much out.

So here are my admittedly heteronormative counter-ideas:

1. Turk on Scrubs- I am pretty sure he falls for Carla on the very first episode. He is a work in progress, he never quite gets it right, but he is kind and he is always trying. This is the key people.

2.David Huxley in Bringing up Baby- Ok, this is an odd one, because on the one hand, he does blow off his fiance on their wedding day. But, he is open with his feelings, ready for an adventure, dresses sharp, and he looks like Cary Grant while being wonderfully weird. I love it.

3. Aragorn from Lord of the Rings- First of all, he is played by Viggo, who is a ridiculously beautiful man. Aragorn's role as a loverboy doesn't really show in the books, but they really pushed it in the films. His girlfriend Arwen gives up eternity to be with him, but rather than just be totally pumped about it, he seems sad, as if he really understands what she gave up. He also treats women with respect and never says anything stupid about fighting in a woman's honor. That's a quality man.

4.Wall-E- How can you talk about animated boyfriends without bringing up this one? Have you seen this movie? Unbelievably sweet and loyal, doesn't talk too much, and saves the human race from their passive consumerism. He even dresses Eve around and brings her around.

5. Cory from Boy Meets World-  A Classic. That guy loved his Topanga, even as she changed all of her character traits from start to finish in the series. He also loved Sean a lot.

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Bumpwatch- Week 29

How Far Along: 29 weeks! The size of an acorn squash. Supposedly, he is getting pudgier and smarter. He also really loves Otis Redding and early morning dance parties. I also read a disgusting statistic about how much he pees in me a day which I think is causing some real beef between us.

Best Moment of the Week: Our Babymoon! We headed on our last plane trip to New Orleans to just focus on each other (I'm lying, we went to buy inappropriate beads and eat). We succeeded in all our goals, had a pretty laid back trip for us, and explored the French Quarter. Hopefully, my amniotic fluid tasted delicious and we can raise our spawn on spicy deliciousness. Definitely our best food trip ever, and we had a great time, even if I couldn't have a hurricane. I think taking a final pre-baby trip was a genius idea (I am sure it was a marketing ploy, but I don't care), and I am so glad we did it.

Most Interesting Prego Quirk:  I have the sniffles all the time now. This is a separate issue from embarrassing weeping (especially at Baby Yoga). Your body is trying to keep infection out, and this part never stops, so you just end up having sniffles all the time to push out germs.  I also feel like I am covered in fuzz, and my belly button is doing something never before seen in nature . It's amazing how gross you can be in so many ways at once (but drunk strangers will still tell you you're cute).

I Would Really Like Some: Man, it's hard to think of much after a weekend of eating all the time in New Orleans. We ate so much! I would like to have a pomegranate Jamba Juice. I would also like to have a Mai Tai (yes, still) and like a whole loaf of french bread. Eat n Park cookies. A ham sandwich. Basically, I am just building a list of things in my head I could reunite with once the spawn is born.

 

Bizarro Thing No One Warned me About:  Even when you feel like some new twist in your pregnancy is a really huge bummer, your doctor will (and should) remain underwhelmed. I felt this week like things stopped being all fun and started getting real, but no one else seems worried (no one else in real life- you can find someone freaking out about anything on the internet). This is obviously a good thing, because my doctor's lack of alarm just puts things into perspective. You may be having the hardest week of your pregnancy, but it's somebody else's easiest week, so buck up.

And The Boy?:He has decided that BBG's best friend is named Blad, because if the little parasite is up and moving, I am heading back to the bathroom as soon as I return. The Boy says BBG wakes up and immediately hugs his best friend Blad (think Vlad, but more like an essential human organ). When Blad shrinks, BBG freaks out and hugs him even more. Apparently Bumbo Baby is incredibly clingy as a friend, and has a real fear of desertion, because all he wants is for poor shrinking Blad to get up and play with him.

We babymooned, and it was good. We had an awesome time, but we overestimated the amount we could eat without feeling horrible. I was shocked to see how sad he seemed when the weekend was over, because I think we are now out of distractions. This is happening, so maybe we should start putting furniture together and figuring out exactly how to keep this person alive when he gets here.

Looking Forward to: Our moms being here! The Boy's mom bought her tickets for when the baby comes, and I don't think anything more exciting could have happened. I feel like it will be so comforting to have our moms here to learn from and get support from. I feel really lucky that his parents will be here for both of us, but especially for him, because I really can't decide whether he will be elatedly silly, epically afraid, or tapped right back into his middle child baby-hating. 

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Wedding Wednesday- 10 (Eco-friendly) Ways to be the Favorite Shower Guest

In one lifetime, most women will go to a LOT of bridal showers. Some will be of women who absolutely own our hearts. Others will be for our boyfriend's cousin's fiance where we will awkwardly sit in the corner. Either way, there will be a registry, and there will be a long chunk of shindig where we watch the bride, groom, or both open gifts.

So, how does bridal showering change when you are trying to be eco-friendly or buy local?

It can be a challenge. The couple gets to make an exact list of what they want, and if it turns out to be full of Made in Elsewhere junk that hurts your heart to buy, you can really feel stuck between compromising your own priorities or being the jerk buying decorative birdhouses.

These are my best ideas of how to be an awesome guest, how to break the mold enough to be interesting, but not so much that you are the one they tell stories about later. You can kick ass at bridal showering and stay eco-friendly! Here's how:

1. Pair the Personal with the Practical- Something small and personal makes for the most memorable gifts. One of our friends gave us a little stone with our faces painted on as a wedding gift. It is still one of my favorites. I also received two quilts and a blanket that I love and continue to be in use at our house. If you know the wedding colors or something they might need for the wedding, you could go that route. We received some things that were thoughtful, but not that useful (a lot of decorative platters) and some that were practical but not personal, but if you can combine registry desires with a personalized theme or something you made yourself, you can really nail the gift.

2. Forget Adulting, Put in for the Honeymoon- Looking at the registry and having trouble finding an eco-friendly option? Ugh, that smarts. The couple may be equally happy to accept money OR if you want to go big, ask after their honeymoon and put money specifically toward that. Wedding showers are especially all about practicality, and that can become a drag, so see if you can't invest in a cool memory for them on their trip.

There are registries specific for honeymoon funds, but even if they don't have one, I bet they will love the help. I know one of my friends skipped out on the activity she most wanted to do, because it was too expensive. In retrospect, I wish I could have skipped the wedding/shower gift and put money in for that. Stuff is just stuff, but making new and amazing memories can fuel a marriage.

3. Come Prepared to Have Fun- You want to give your bride a gift? Have a great time. The hosts can only prepare so much- once you get to a party, the fun of the shindig depends on all of the guests. Time to play silly games? Go into it with Olympic intensity to make it awesome. Small talking with the bride's crazy relatives? Lean in, my friend. Don't sit in the corner, only hang out with your people, or worst of all, let someone else be uncomfortable or alone.

At a wedding, in my expert opinion, you are contractually obligated to start the bride and groom's marriage off with a full dance floor and happy faces. Do the shower version of that.

4. Write a Good Note- Showers can be overwhelming events where the bride or groom doesn't get the time they hope for with each guest (I know I felt that way). No matter what you decide to gift, a thoughtful note and some encouragement might be the best gift you can give. Write something personal and genuine, and you could very well make his or her day when they can really go through things without an audience.

5. Skip the Lingerie- No one wants to open something seedy with all of their aunts watching. Maybe someone does, but if you aren't sure that is that bride, just skip it. If you want to do something romantic, buy some gift certificates to local restaurants and invest in some date nights. Seriously, underwear gifts are way more weird than clever.

6. Go in Together for One Gift- Don't hate- collaborate! You may not have the.budget for a really fabulous gift, but you could go in with other guests to go big. We get into this idea that more gifts= better gifts, but there is something to be said for a gift they may not be able to afford themselves. They can go buy a kitchen clock themselves, but a new set of knives might be way out of reach. Not to mention, this gesture might save them from the long, awkward present-opening part of the shindig, which is a lot of pressure.

You can do this two ways- collect money anonymously, and figure out what you an buy with it. Or, pick something first and let people donate with knowledge of the endpoint. Spend less time worrying whether the generosity is equal- it's not a competition.

7. Take Pictures- Ok, maybe this seems silly, but I think one of the best things you can do for a couple on the path to getting married (or having a baby) is to be positive, enthusiastic, and to help document any and all festivities. You get to the other end of things and can feel like it slipped through your fingers, so some pictures from others helps them have a fuller perspective on these days and all of the good stuff happening. It costs you no money, minimal time, and can really be so sweet and thoughtful.

8. Make the Switch or Get out of the Box- Not excited about the registry? You can try to do a switch out using my suggestions on The Eco-Friendly and Made in America Wedding Registry. Don't see anything that speaks to you? What are some other things they will definitely need? What about movie tickets or some other kind of date night? Gift cards for take out places with their menus? A cheese of the month club. Invest in the memories they will make as a couple! Or go a totally different route and cut out a practical concern for them- give them all the quarters they will ever need for laundry with The Simply Co soap and dryer balls. Get them all the tissues they will ever need and a throw blanket for sick days. Get them Amazon Prime or a netflix subscription. By shifting your paradigm to less concrete gifts, you can really come up with something cool.

9. Buy 3 Used Gifts Instead of One New One- This is true for baby showers too- some things on registries (measuring cups, anything glass, kitchen tools) are ALWAYS for sale in consignment and antique stores. Still look at what they want, but get something a little more special and a LOT more cost-effective. You can get 4 kitchen tools at Goodwill for the same cost as one from Bed Bath and Beyond. Way to help them fill up that kitchen AND reduce waste!

10. It's All About Them- Sometimes you know the bride or groom better than others; it is well worth it to keep who they are in mind before you go for it. Maybe they are the kind of people who would LOVE practical gifts like a year's worth of paper towels and toilet paper- think of the drudgery they can skip! Other people would hate it. If you aren't sure, call one of those numbers on the RSVP line and ask them. If it still seems risky, do 60% what they said they want and 40% something a little riskier.

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