Wedding Wednesday- Unique, Eco-Friemdly, and Reusable Cake Topper Ideas

I love a cake topper at a wedding. Part of this is that you just can't be mad about anything cake-related. The other reason is that even if you are at the most straightforward or traditional couple, you can still show a little bit of who you are with this detail. To me, the best weddings are undeniably the couple.

Weddings are a hotbed of waste, and even these details can be pretty wasteful. Anything that you only use or see for only one day is essentially wasteful. I mean, what happens to all those cake toppers after the honeymoon? Ours, which is such a sweet piece from Lollipop Workshop (I swear it wasn't that expensive, but it probably was), lives in a little glass dome in our dining room, but I have never noticed cake toppers up in many homes.

good luck, honey. thaat's a long life ahead of you. from Pieceofcaketoppers4u

So what happens to most cake toppers? Please tell me people aren't putting those horrible ones with the bride dragging the groom up in their house somewhere. You dragged him to the wedding and now you are dragging hi though life? Poor life choices.

Rather than buying something generic, this is the perfect opportunity to buy something local or made in America. People have all kinds of amazingly creative ideas out there. Plus, if you have something in mind, I bet you can find someone to bring it to life (or make somehting yourself- you can do it!). Some etsy toppers are expensive, but many are no more than what you would buy in the store. Step one of an eco-friendly topper is to buy or make something that hasn't traveled far.

So these are my best ideas for having a cake topper that you love, that is true to you as a couple, and doesn't spend the rest of your marriage in storage somewhere. Basically, how can you make a cake topper environmentally responsible AND awesome?

from Mr and Mrs Cake Toppers

1. Use Something you Already Love 

This could be anything. Maybe you have picked up trinkets on travels or collect something together. It could be any items you own (that fit on a cake and aren't completely unsanitary), and if it is important to you already, all the better. Do you get salt shakers on vacation? Use those! Collect erotic Precious Moments figurines? Sounds memorable! Wear each other's blood in vials? Please don't put that on the cake, but you get the idea. This idea will cost you nearly no money, can bring in a little more of your real life to the big day, and they can head back to their original purpose (with a little extra honor) once you are wed.

from Ever After Products

Now, you could go two ways with this. Either, leave them as is for a perfectly cool topper, OR dress them up in marital garb to make something no one has seen before (but might not fit as well with a collection). I am obsessed with ones like these gussed up dinosaur toys or these incredibly cool personalized funko pop dolls that ight fit perfectly in some bride or groom's already existing collection (you can be on a shelf with all of your favorite characters, for goodness sake).

from goose grease

2. Pick a Topper with its Future Spot in Mind

I think it would be cool to have your topper on a bedside table, as bookends on your shelf, or as a focal point on a dining room table or mantel. If you shop with the style of your home in mind, you could see your cake topper as a reminder of your wedding everyday (also, a reminder that cake is delicious). Using it as decor in your house is way more subtle and fun than the giant wedding picture. Not that it isn't great too, but this is a different approach. I think these wood peg doll toppers would look sweet and understated as part of your decor, and they aren't so precious or delicate that you have to hide them away. Check etsy for peg toppers, because they really are great.

from Wooden Heart Buttons

My favorite store for this might be Wooden Heart Buttons- a former cake decorator got sick of the expensive plastic toppers coming through and started making toppers with eco-friendly materials specifically intended to be used as decor in your home after the big day. Check them all out- they are beautiful.

from Juniper and Ivy

The laser cut toppers with text or silhouettes are on trend right now, and they could potentially look great in a frame or shadowbox on your wall for a very long time.  If you do go that route, be careful to pick something that is timelessly YOU. The "eat me" toppers are cute, but do you want that on your wall? Also, I'd go wood over plastic- it will look better in most cases (and you can more easily adjust it to fit in a frame)..

from Life Ephemera

3. Look for a Vintage Gem

 Are you a heterosexual Aryan couple that enjoys the good old days? There are already tons of little porcelain white people waiting for you. It doesn't have to be as vanilla as these people, and you can use vintage items to save money and minimize your wedding's footprint. You can get a basic vintage wedding topper for 10-15 dollars. Cheaper than the basic cake toppers available at Walmart, and it's that much less plastic being purchased. Some of these have more personality than others, but it can be a fun and eye-catching option.

from Protector of Vintage

This couple is really committed... to their eyebrows.

from Bean Jean Julie

These two look too old and too young at once- what state allows ancient babies to marry?

from Design Room 3

Love this one. They look like they want to kiss, but just can't figure out what to do next.

Jokes aside, if you are having a wedding with vintage flair, why not poke around and get something that is actually vintage?You can find all sorts of figurines and save the world from ne more object just sitting in an attic somewhere.

from bridal guide

4. Get Something that can have a New Life after the Wedding

 My brother-in-law and sister-in-law had a lego cake topper. They also have a basement full of legos. The topper was true to them, for sure. If you aren't ridiculously sentimental like I am, you can get a cake topper like this that you can actually take apart and use again! If you have kids, toys make a lot of sense. If you are handy, could you use tools? Good in the kitchen? How about a salt and pepper set you can use? It just has to have some use value once you are in your new normal life.

from uncorked and unrewined

5.  Recycled Toppers

 If you can't think of something with a practical life after the wedding, why not get a topper that had a life before? It is a wonderful world. Don't believe me? Look up "recycled cake toppers" on Etsy. Maybe some won't be your style, but one could be exactly right. They take trash and turn it into something you will treasure for the rest of your life. That's pretty cool. Can't find the perfect thing? You could also make it yourself! Get inspired and you can really put yourself out there.

from The Lost Key

I want to go to this steampunk wedding. And 40 dollars? That's a steal from The Lost Key.

from Ready Go

Ready Go makes cake toppers out of recycled cardstock. They are simple and lovely, and you could totally frame it afterward (recycled and reused? You win!). I do love their simplicity, and I think they look sweet without being saccharine or boring. You can also add children for blended families and even get personalized coloring book pages.

from wedding chicks

6. Just Skip It Completely

You know what cake without a topper is? Cake, so it is still the best thing ever, If tracking down the perfect topper seems like a waste of time or money to you, then just don't have one! And feel glad you are getting married at a time where almost every tradition is flexible. Never waste energy or money on the junk you don't care about, because why even throw the party if you aren't enjoying it?

Will I miss the topper? Yes, but there will still be cake. So I will still be happy.

Want more eco-friendly wedding ideas? I have TONS of them! You can make your wedding environmentally responsible by reducing waste, minimizing purchases, and buying items that have life beyond that big day.

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3 Things I am Grateful for Today- Thanksgiving, Women Being Treated lik People, and Cell Phone Angst

1.Thanksgiving is coming up! Most days, I do my 3 Things to make a practice out of being generally positive. Sometimes, it is probably gratitude; sometimes, it is more just "hey look at this cool thing." For the rest of November, I am going to try to write it explicitly in terms of gratefulness, because I am still trying to figure out what gratitude in action looks like (only ideas so far- paying it forward and taking good care of what I have). I know this holiday won't look like the massive family lovefest of last year, but I couldn't be more excited for it.  I mean, it will still have family, gushing, and carbohydrates, so what else can you ask for?

2.The ability to have and make choices about my own body, pregnant or not- I am so grateful for my tiny-handed OBGYN, my doctor/midwife practice that is equally super cool with drugs and birthing balls, and the great and supportive prenatal care I have had the whole run of this thing. These things can get lost in the mix, but when you look at the ways birth choices, the right to control our own bodies, and even infant mortality rates are split by socioeconomic position and race, it becomes clearer and clearer that I have some privileges denied to many other women.

With the feedback from this election, it only becomes clearer and clearer that women's bodies and abilities to make choices about their own bodies is not going to be respected. I know "pro-life" people feel they are saving "babies" from some sort of flippant tarty slubags, but a few articles, especially this one from the New York Times, have come out this week about how rights are being taken away from women who want to be pregnant or who have tragically lost pregnancies. We have reached this awful cultural moment where not only are women solely defined by their status as mothers (also discussed in the New York Times and exemplified by most of my prego reading material), but their identity as baby vessels actually trumps their status as human beings.

So not only am I grateful to live in a state that still respects my personhood (and thereby my choices in pregnancy, childbirth, and the like), but I am also thankful that I have the means to have most of these choices available to me, especially without judgement. I am not strongly entrenched in any particular camp, but just by being married to someone with great insurance, living in a nice urban area, and being white, I can pick and choose as I like. Why is it this way? How can we do better? If you are really "pro-life," why aren't you focused on getting that mortality rate up and safe medical choices available? If I am pro-choice, why don't I do more for other people's choices (not just fighting political battles through organizations like Planned Parenthood, but also thinking about access and economic position)? I want to turn this gratefulness into action, to try to pay it forward. I am going to think a lot more about this, because the majority of my adult volunteering effort has been directed toward art and education, but I would like to be more involved in organizations like "Every Mother Counts" to try to get better choices to other women. I am thinking about this a lot, so if you have feelings about it, please share your ideas!

3. Replacing our phones! We started the process tonight (it is a long angsty process for one member of this family...) and I am mostly excited that my irresponsibility could again be the #1 impediment to getting a hold of me, as opposed to the fact that my phone now dies with no warning and no convincing to behave otherwise. It says it is charging all the time, and then it dies. And then I have no phone. We are finally up for new phones, so I can't wait to get a new phone I will inevitably hate because it isn't enough like my current jank phone that I semi-secretly love. So I guess I am grateful for the old phone's years of service and the new phone's actually being on. 

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Wedding Wednesday- Why I'm Excited about my Groomzilla or The Perks of Co-ed Planning

I have been shocked in the last few weeks how many people have reacted with pity when I mention how involved and invested the Boy has been in the planning of our wedding. I certainly think they are entitled to their opinion, and obviously what works for them works for them, but I personally think it is awesome we live in an age where it should be perfectly great for a groom to care too. Because if you still think it is weird for a guy to care about things that are usually considered for women (exceptions being breastfeeding, menstruation, etc), you are a sexist. No joke. By suggesting men shouldn't care about these things, you are both doing them a disservice (the best example here would be emotional literacy, which is still a big issue in masculinity) AND deeming it less worthy of their attention. I call bullshit. If the wedding is the gateway drug into your marriage, he should care in some form or another. Because it is not the 50's, and it is his marriage too. I'm super bored with all these fake constructions of uninvested masculinity. If he really doesn't care about the traditional wedding, you should do something that he likes too. Elope. Do something super small. If he really doesn't seem to care about any of it at all, why would you marry him? Rant over.

 They also seem pretty shocked that, generally speaking, he is much more committed to getting things right in the details than I am, even though that is very true to our personalities. He is the consummate hard worker and perfectionist, whereas I bring a lot of the imagination and ideas. This is only one reason that I am really lucky to have a groom who is planning with me, and I can think of quite a few more:

from lifestyle.ca.msn.com/weddings

1. It has been really fun- Other than a few tiffs here and there, it has been really fun to do all of the wedding stuff together. Yes, it means I have had to edit some things I was originally sad about, but let's face it, had I had my way completely, people would be going to a circus wedding in 10 days. Not that it would have been a bad thing, but it wouldn't have been his thing.

2. Communication styles are different, in a good way- I am a pushover. I feel unbelievably grateful that people want to help us and I try to constantly ask for the bare minimum because I am sure they are dreading every second of helping (even though I never feel that way when the shoe is on the other foot). It's a Greene thing. On the other hand, The Boy asks for exactly what he wants from people helping. Exactly. I help him remember to be thankful, and he helps us get a lot more done. At the same time, he hates actually calling to people or speaking to them in person, which is not so traumatic to me. No matter what, your partner should be able to cover for you in some of the things you aren't so crazy about. And even if you both hate the same stuff, you get to do 50% less.

3. He cares about stuff that I know matters, but am fine with him dealing with- Oh seating chart, I was sure you would haunt my dreams, and instead, I barely worried about you. God bless fiances who know all the corners of Microsoft Excel spreadsheets.

4. I always have someone to bounce ideas off of, and it is never treated as unimportant or frivolous- This is the one I would have the most trouble with otherwise. I understand some of what I want is ridiculous and has literally no bearing on whether we will eventually be married. But damn it, I want to make everybody a bracelet! It is very nice to never feel stupid about wanting things to be great.

5. Takes some of the pressure off- The Boy knows how everything is supposed to be, and he is willing to put a good stink up about it. This means I shouldn't be the only person available to answer questions in decorating. Even better, he has a much better chance of having some sassy moments toward the end, so hopefully that will split the attention more evenly.

6. It gets to be another thing that we did together, much like many other things- I like that this is just another goal to set and accomplish together, rather than an epic culmination or something, it just feels like a slightly heightened version of a lot of things we have done before. I think that helps it from getting too out of control stressful. There still feels like there is life after the wedding.

7. We got to enjoy the whole thing together- Did I mention its been fun? Right now, the Boy is still in California, and I think he is sad to miss some of this last minute craziness, because mostly it has been a good excuse to spend time with our loved ones. That is always a good time and never a bad thing.

8. The Wedding will actually look like both of us- This is no hot pink sparkle princess extravaganza. I brought the color and he brought the neutrals. I brought the craziness and he brought the order. I have no idea whether any of it will work yet or not (obviously), but I know whatever crazy mess it is, it is made out of both of our crazy heads.

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Wedding Wednesday- 10 (Eco-friendly) Ways to be the Favorite Shower Guest

In one lifetime, most women will go to a LOT of bridal showers. Some will be of women who absolutely own our hearts. Others will be for our boyfriend's cousin's fiance where we will awkwardly sit in the corner. Either way, there will be a registry, and there will be a long chunk of shindig where we watch the bride, groom, or both open gifts.

So, how does bridal showering change when you are trying to be eco-friendly or buy local?

It can be a challenge. The couple gets to make an exact list of what they want, and if it turns out to be full of Made in Elsewhere junk that hurts your heart to buy, you can really feel stuck between compromising your own priorities or being the jerk buying decorative birdhouses.

These are my best ideas of how to be an awesome guest, how to break the mold enough to be interesting, but not so much that you are the one they tell stories about later. You can kick ass at bridal showering and stay eco-friendly! Here's how:

1. Pair the Personal with the Practical- Something small and personal makes for the most memorable gifts. One of our friends gave us a little stone with our faces painted on as a wedding gift. It is still one of my favorites. I also received two quilts and a blanket that I love and continue to be in use at our house. If you know the wedding colors or something they might need for the wedding, you could go that route. We received some things that were thoughtful, but not that useful (a lot of decorative platters) and some that were practical but not personal, but if you can combine registry desires with a personalized theme or something you made yourself, you can really nail the gift.

2. Forget Adulting, Put in for the Honeymoon- Looking at the registry and having trouble finding an eco-friendly option? Ugh, that smarts. The couple may be equally happy to accept money OR if you want to go big, ask after their honeymoon and put money specifically toward that. Wedding showers are especially all about practicality, and that can become a drag, so see if you can't invest in a cool memory for them on their trip.

There are registries specific for honeymoon funds, but even if they don't have one, I bet they will love the help. I know one of my friends skipped out on the activity she most wanted to do, because it was too expensive. In retrospect, I wish I could have skipped the wedding/shower gift and put money in for that. Stuff is just stuff, but making new and amazing memories can fuel a marriage.

3. Come Prepared to Have Fun- You want to give your bride a gift? Have a great time. The hosts can only prepare so much- once you get to a party, the fun of the shindig depends on all of the guests. Time to play silly games? Go into it with Olympic intensity to make it awesome. Small talking with the bride's crazy relatives? Lean in, my friend. Don't sit in the corner, only hang out with your people, or worst of all, let someone else be uncomfortable or alone.

At a wedding, in my expert opinion, you are contractually obligated to start the bride and groom's marriage off with a full dance floor and happy faces. Do the shower version of that.

4. Write a Good Note- Showers can be overwhelming events where the bride or groom doesn't get the time they hope for with each guest (I know I felt that way). No matter what you decide to gift, a thoughtful note and some encouragement might be the best gift you can give. Write something personal and genuine, and you could very well make his or her day when they can really go through things without an audience.

5. Skip the Lingerie- No one wants to open something seedy with all of their aunts watching. Maybe someone does, but if you aren't sure that is that bride, just skip it. If you want to do something romantic, buy some gift certificates to local restaurants and invest in some date nights. Seriously, underwear gifts are way more weird than clever.

6. Go in Together for One Gift- Don't hate- collaborate! You may not have the.budget for a really fabulous gift, but you could go in with other guests to go big. We get into this idea that more gifts= better gifts, but there is something to be said for a gift they may not be able to afford themselves. They can go buy a kitchen clock themselves, but a new set of knives might be way out of reach. Not to mention, this gesture might save them from the long, awkward present-opening part of the shindig, which is a lot of pressure.

You can do this two ways- collect money anonymously, and figure out what you an buy with it. Or, pick something first and let people donate with knowledge of the endpoint. Spend less time worrying whether the generosity is equal- it's not a competition.

7. Take Pictures- Ok, maybe this seems silly, but I think one of the best things you can do for a couple on the path to getting married (or having a baby) is to be positive, enthusiastic, and to help document any and all festivities. You get to the other end of things and can feel like it slipped through your fingers, so some pictures from others helps them have a fuller perspective on these days and all of the good stuff happening. It costs you no money, minimal time, and can really be so sweet and thoughtful.

8. Make the Switch or Get out of the Box- Not excited about the registry? You can try to do a switch out using my suggestions on The Eco-Friendly and Made in America Wedding Registry. Don't see anything that speaks to you? What are some other things they will definitely need? What about movie tickets or some other kind of date night? Gift cards for take out places with their menus? A cheese of the month club. Invest in the memories they will make as a couple! Or go a totally different route and cut out a practical concern for them- give them all the quarters they will ever need for laundry with The Simply Co soap and dryer balls. Get them all the tissues they will ever need and a throw blanket for sick days. Get them Amazon Prime or a netflix subscription. By shifting your paradigm to less concrete gifts, you can really come up with something cool.

9. Buy 3 Used Gifts Instead of One New One- This is true for baby showers too- some things on registries (measuring cups, anything glass, kitchen tools) are ALWAYS for sale in consignment and antique stores. Still look at what they want, but get something a little more special and a LOT more cost-effective. You can get 4 kitchen tools at Goodwill for the same cost as one from Bed Bath and Beyond. Way to help them fill up that kitchen AND reduce waste!

10. It's All About Them- Sometimes you know the bride or groom better than others; it is well worth it to keep who they are in mind before you go for it. Maybe they are the kind of people who would LOVE practical gifts like a year's worth of paper towels and toilet paper- think of the drudgery they can skip! Other people would hate it. If you aren't sure, call one of those numbers on the RSVP line and ask them. If it still seems risky, do 60% what they said they want and 40% something a little riskier.

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Wedding Wednesday- How to Save on Wedding Decorations

Oy, wedding costs! You go into it with a vision, and then slowly, that vision can be chipped away just by the shrinking amount still left in the budget. Before you are really planning, you spend a lot of time plotting decorations and cool details, but those are often the things that get cut for the sake of the event as a whole. Some of that is inevitable, but I do think there are cool ways to approach decorations that can save you BIG money.

Even better, if you shift your approach to the stuff you buy for the wedding, you can save things from landfills and create less waste. So many of these decor pieces are used one night only, but if they are shared between many couples, they can have much longer and happier lives.

1. Let the Space do the Work- You picked your venues for a reason. Start with that premise and just let the beauty of your wedding and reception spaces shine through. If it's already a good-looking spot, you may not need much. Don't pick a theme that doesn't fit the room, and you have already saved yourself tons of money.

2. Focus on Lighting (and someone can always lend you lights)- If I had to decorate a whole reception with one item, it would be white twinkly lights. Lighting sets the mood, makes everything look intentional (even when it isn't), and adds that magical thing. Even better, you can almost always find lighting as a rental or used. Twice this summer, I have seen brides gifted tons of Christmas lights for their weddings on Buy Nothing. If you do get lights lent to you, be sure to mark who each strand belongs to. Otherwise, you can get this high impact item for very cheap or even free.

3. DIY it- I love browsing the decoration ideas on Etsy, but I am often struck how many of the things on there can just be made- you don't need to buy them! Sparkly branches? Glue, glitter, and a walk in the woods. Tissue paper flowers? Buy some bulk tissue paper and wire. Peg doll cake topper? Paint that business yourself. We made our escort cards from paint swatches- it doesn't have to be expensive to be memorable and fun.

 When you buy decor, you are paying for time and skill. Work ahead so you have the time, and you can self-assess which skills are within your wheelhouse. You can a little bit of money go a lot further this way! Only trick is to plan ahead!

4. Focal Points over Details- I have seen so many weddings where there were fussy centerpiece things at the table but nowhere to look in the room. Make a few spots really worth looking at and don't bother trying to make every corner beautiful. People will only remember a handful of things anyway.

5. Multi-task- Use your favors or cake or guests as decor. You have millions of choices dependent on your favor, but it's a nice way to have something do double duty. I went to a wedding last year where the cakes were the centerpieces, which saves tons of money on flowers, and you get more time with cake, so who can complain? Stepping out of the box even a little might help you figure out how to make what you are already paying for a key part of the room.

6. Everything Doesn't Have to Match Perfectly- Matchy matchy can be great if you are meticulous, but a little variation never hurt anyone. One of my best friends is very detail-oriented and got all the colors to match perfectly at her wedding. And it looked amazing, but it doesn't have to go that way. If you can find 40 free plates that look one way and 50 that look another, and they both fit, just use them both. It's more important to have a set sense of style than an overly particular matching set mentality. That sense of style and vision for the big picture is what will have the impact in the end.

7. And Please Don't Monogram your Napkins- Why. Why. Why. Why is this even still a thing? If you are doing the little cocktail napkins, by all means, get them in a color that resonates with your scheme (even better, get them recycled from a company like Susty). But why is this insta-garbage a good time to remind people whose wedding they are attending? No one has forgotten, and honestly, it is never all that classy. Put your money into other details, and then whatever you don't use can be for another couple or your dinner parties. Put the date on your favors, and skip the rest.

8. Get It Used- This is the most cost-effective AND eco-friendly thing you can do for your wedding decorations. So many wedding decorations become one time use things, and I hate to think of all the perfectly useful objects that get thrown out. But the bright side is you can find so much out there if you just know where to look and don't mind some browsing.

You can find great used decorations:

Newlyweds- We all know these big life events happen in waves. If you have friends getting married before you, check and see what you can get off their hands once they are hitched. We definitely gave decorations away to the Boy's beloved cousin, and our lights to the high school for dances. Your friends will have stuff they are happy to part with. Doesn't perfectly match? Get creative about what you can stretch to fit or change the color of and then offer the rest to others. After your hitched you can pay the favor forward!

On Buy Nothing- Have you joined your local Buy Nothing Project yet? I have seen it all on there- people offering their table runners to other asking for (and receiving) tons of glass vases for their center pieces. Check with your Buy Nothing and you could save 100's of dollars.

Goodwill and other Consignment Stores- Sometimes, this kind of shopping is a bust, but if you know what you need, you might find a steal. Also, lots of cities have craft consignment stores that might sell the ribbon or fabric you need as well.

Online Resale sites- Thank goodness for the internet, because you can now find everything you would ever want to decorate with used. Cheaper, convenient, and keeping things out of landfills? Amazing.

Ruffled is an absolute treasure, and you can find so many gorgeous things on their "Recycle your Wedding" pages. They have at least a thousand items, so it's a lot to go through, but you are sure to find something.  Make sure to check the price against the brand new cost, and don't be afraid to ask them to lower it a little (I mean, what else are they going to do with 100 extra mason jars?) Browse often, because things are going up all the time! You can find a steal on beautiful decorations.I may actually buy some things from them for a non-matrimonial party.

Tradesy- Tradesy started as wedding only, but they have had enough success to branch out. They have all kinds of wedding stuff, from bridesmaid dresses to wedding papers, but their decorations section is especially amazing and well-organized. They have 5,500+ items up right now! Easier to browse than most of the other sites as well. Be sure to join their mailing list so you get even more money off.

Wedding Recycle- This website also has lots of selection (about 3000 items) and they are connected to the Can't Buy me Love Project, where you donate wedding dresses that can be given away to brides who otherwise couldn't afford them. Pretty cool.

So you may be overwhelmed with the amount of money you have already spent nailing down the DJ and planning with the caterer. I don't blame you- weddings are expensive! But decorations is an area that with a little creativity, you can make huge impact with a little bit of money.

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Wedding Wednesday- Disposable Necessities Done Right

Now I know all you unmarried wonderful people are almost tired of browsing ethical engagement rings. Must be time to fantasize about your future eco-friendly compostable wedding plates- right?

My brother and his longtime, lovely girlfriend are getting married this year, and I couldn't be more psyched about it. I have been trying to be helpful (ok, I have been giving wayyyy too much unsolicited advice to two perfectly competent adults). One of the things my soon to be sister-in-law did ask for advice on was plates for the reception that were one time use but eco-friendly.

This is a challenge lots of us face for our weddings (or really any big party we throw)- when you host a party that big, it isn't surprising that some of the wares will be disposable. Maybe you are renting tables, chairs, plates, and silverware, but I bet you have had the cocktail napkin conversation (GAH!!! Do not get monogrammed napkins. Everyone already knows what wedding they are at- what a waste of money). Or maybe you are going to buy straws and cups for the bar.

This topic is boring (no, really!), so it doesn't get much attention on most wedding sites, but your approach to what you throw away might be the singlemost environmentally-conscious decisions you make. How much of this blessed day would you like to go to a landfill?

Disposable is certainly easy to come by (and cheap), but think about your priorities before you go that way across the board. Please, if you can rent any of these supplies from your caterer (or the venue or a local party rentals place), do it. Renting means reuse, which is exponentially less harmful for the environment than any one time use goods.

That being said, sometimes the cost difference is ridiculous, and other times (with things like straws and cocktail napkins), a rentable option may not exist. Maybe you are doing a big potluck picnic or another party where disposable makes the most sense. We used paper straws and plastic cups (would do that differently now), and I think most couples do end up with a mix. If you splurge a little on compostable and recycled goods for even half of these items, your wedding will have a significantly more positive impact on the world you will be married in.

If this isn't for you, but you want to do a little, don't buy any plastic. No plastic plates, straws, or cups. They are incredibly wasteful, dangerous to wildlife, and will outlive our grandchildren. Plastic is a problem, never a real solution.

So if you are doing the world's most boring wedding shopping, let me join you. Here are some things worth looking into:

Plates

Americans throw out a trillion disposable plates A YEAR. Can you even imagine a trillion? At the very least, we can make the ones we add compostable.

Some people use all disposable plates, and others only go that route for dessert or appetizer plates. Whatever you need to do is what you need to do, but I think you can find something classier and eco-friendly all at once. Yes, you can get a plastic plate in exactly your colors, but 100+ plastic plates straight to a landfill? Kind of a bummer, and you might be able to find something just as cost-effective while being much more eco-friendly. Plus, I think the perfectly matched thing only works for particular styles, and you have to be very meticulous to make it work. It's a wedding. White always makes sense.

As a side note, LOOK AROUND and see where you can buy what you want in bulk. If you buy your plates 25 at a time, you will be wasting money. Track those bigger sets down on websites like Eco Party or Webstaurant Store.

Susty Party from Amazon

Our Pick- I think if you are going for an elegant look, it doesn't get much better than the Susty Party square plates. They are sturdy, look so sharp for a table, and cost about as much as any "premium" plastic plates they sell for weddings (around 50 cents a plate). They have a dessert plate as well, and I just think this is an absolute winner if you are having a more elegant or classic wedding.

Leafware from Amazon

If you are doing something more rustic, I love these Leafware plates (compostable, not recyclable) and made out of palm leaves. They are very sturdy and look gorgeous and modern. Plus, they will decompose, so they create no waste. Win! If they don't quite fit your style, check Thynk and CiboWares as well.

Other Options- Susty also sells a more rustic and papery option that still look great and these ones are made in America as well. For any of our regular life parties, this is probably what we would buy. They scream picnic to me, not necessarily wedding (though some colors look more polished than others), but if you are having a more picnicky shindig, this is an awesome option.

Bamboo options, like these plates from Bambu, exist as well! Find an aesthetic that works for yoru style. If you want something even more low key, try these plates from Earth's Natural- still completely biodegradable and only 18 cents a plate!

Cups

Susty Party from Amazon

We definitely used plastic cups at our wedding bar (there may still be some floating around 4 years later). If I could go back, I would put our drinks in something more eco-friendly. Because, why not? If one more good thing (beyond the dancing) came out of our alcohol, who can complain?

Our Pick- I tried to find ones that don't advertise themselves too much, not because there is anything wrong with being environmentally-psyched, but it doesn't always look that pretty. Susty Party sells both clear compostable cups and even more environmentally-friendly paper cups, so they may be the big winner in this category.

Other Options- There are tons of other options, and some like Zilchables are even made in the USA. They all have branding on them, which is a pain in the butt, but if you are less fussy than me and don't care, you can find a great deal and a huge eco-friendly win- Eco-Products, Stalkmarket, World Centric, and Repurpose.

Make sure to to poke around and find the bulk option that best fits the number you were thinking- great way to save some money!

Straws

Tranquilo from Amazon

Who doesn't love a straw in their cocktail? If you want a little something extra at your bar, paper straws are biodegradable and eco-friendly. Plus, they are trendy enough that you can absolutely find something eco friendly AND in your colors!

Our Pick- Tranquilo straws are made from paper, in the US, and money goes to Ocean Clean Up projects. Their stated goal as a company is to eliminate the "needless consumption of disposable plastic products." As you can probably guess, this company is one of my absolute favorites. If you are buying straws for anything, buy these ones. The options on Amazon are limited, but you can find more on Tranquilo's website.

Other Options- Any paper straws are a thousand times better (and classier) than any plastic straw. You do more good if you find ones that haven't traveled far (so maybe not Kikkerland- at least try their subset Green Party Straws that biodegrade). I really love Aardvark straws because they have lots of colors, biodegrade, and are made in the USA. You also do more good if you find ones using recycled paper. Crave sells all recycled ones, so it might be a great option.

Still can't find the perfect straw? Hello, Etsy. "Paper Straws" and the USA filter gets you 16,000+ options. Some of my favorites- Puppy Cat Crafts (every color or pattern you could possibly want), Cherished Blessings (super affordable if you can find your color), The Papered Table (great options all around) and The Party Gnome (crazy patterns, but I like the birch if you are doing a rustic wedding). You can probably get all you would need for 10-20 dollars, and it is so much cuter than those damn cocktail napkins.

Silverware

Brichware from Amazon

Ugh, plastic silverware is the worst, right? What a waste to use a piece of plastic once and then send it off to the landfill. You still have better options than horrible plastic- even recycled plastic isn't great if you are just going to toss them. We will never go back to this- it just doesn't make sense. The wooden and biodegradable stuff looks and feels better too, and the price difference isn't too significant when you buy in bulk.

Our Pick- Wooden Cutlery. They really do look beautiful, and I think they could work with so many wedding styles. I couldn't find a specifically "Made in America" brand, so let's do the best we can. My favorite might be these Birchware wood cutlery- they have clean modernist ones and more elegant choices, so I think it could be great for so many weddings. I also think buying the pieces separately makes sense since you need way more forks than spoons for most menus.

You have more options, some of which cost less, so look around and find the wood (and biodegradable) options that work for you- HUJI Disposable (super cost-effective), Perfect Stix (also well-priced and great reviews), Creative Juice Cafe, and Pretty Sweet Party.

Other Options- Bioplastic. You can get plastic made from plants that still biodegrades I don't think it is nearly as attractive, but you can save money and it still biodegrades! Repurpose has a line of biodegradable silverware and you can get everything you possibly need (maybe for your whole marriage). I love that they are out to replace all those disposables that hurt your wedding's carbon footprint. Transitions 2 Earth has some to look out as well- they are made in China and biodegrade over 5 to 20 years. So mixed bag, but still an improvement on plastic.

Napkins

Now I know I have been pretty secretive about how I feel about decorative napkins at weddings. You probably aren't sure where I stand. Oh you are? Alright, well let's just leave it there then.

If you aren't going to use them as major decor, I say go basic. If your wedding aesthetic works with that recycled kraft color, go that route. If not, white and recycled is still way more eco-friendly.

Our Pick- My loyalty remains with Seventh Generation for eco-friendly paper goods, and you can get 100% recycled lunch napkins (in white or kraft) at low prices. They don't sell cocktail napkins, so for that, I would recommend Hoffmaster kraft napkins which are 100% recycled and made in the US.

Susty Party from Amazon

Other Options- Susty Party sells some cocktail napkins with great-looking designs (you can find them here too). I can't remember one napkin from any wedding I attended, but maybe you love a good napkin. Start with this company then. If you want something plain white, Tree Free cocktail napkins are made of bagasse (sugar cane) instead of tree products. They also donate proceeds to the Arbor Day foundation!

Need more eco-friendly wedding inspiration? It isn't all about one thing- you can take so many routes to make your wedding that much more ethical and kind to the environment. Check the Eco-wedding tag for more ideas.

Need mroe general shopping inspiration? Nice! Check out the Giant List of Shopping Lists.

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