100 Things I Love this Week Part 3- Wedding Stuff

 

51. Jill at Shear Expressions in Franklin PA- If you need an updo for any reason and you are in Franklin, you would do yourself a big favor to go to Jill. She is so fast and she does a really beautiful job. I am so glad that we went to Shear Expressions for our wedding hair-I have been in plenty of wedding where the hair made things run behind, but they went so fast that we actually started the day ahead of schedule! It was a wedding miracle!

 

52. My whole Bridal Party's hair- I mostly just let the girls do what they wanted, and everyone looked so beautiful. I hope they felt that way too, because who likes not feeling pretty when you put the effort in? I thought they all looked gorgeous!

 

53. Princess Cupcake Charm- A Little nod to original wedding theme (Disney Princess/ Seven Deadly Sins at the FHS Track with a wheelbarrow and Celine Dion). Mostly, they fell apart or got lost, because apparently the charms weren't made to actually be used, but they still made me happy. And I got to kick mine to Shell once it fell off.

 

54. Technology- There is a lot to be said about Aunt Ann not being there, but being there for decorating, for getting ready, for the ceremony, and for the reception. Even if she just looked like a phone with a pretty cool white cover. I know it's not the same as the real thing, but it is a whole lot better than nothing, so I will be thankful for it forever and ever. 

 

55. Getting honked at by cars- it cracked me up. It will probably never happen again for a happy reason, not a mad reason, so I enjoyed it.  

  

56. Getting our picture taken on my grampa's antique firetruck- My grammy was not too excited about the idea when I asked her, but both she and my Grampa looked pretty excited about it on the day, and getting those pictures there will mean more to me than pictures at some random place that is just photogenic. I am lucky that people will humor me!

 

57. Having liturgy we really cared about, and a priest who really seemed to care about us- I loved that Bishop Sean was so open to our changes in the liturgy, because the politics inherent in their wording meant so much to me. He was also extremely caring in the last few weeks leading up to the wedding. But one of the very best surprises of the day was  Bishop Sean's homily. I didn't know it, but I had taught a devotional on one of the same texts we chose, so he spoke about what i had said as this high schooler on a mission trip and applied it to some of the things we had insisted our wedding was about. It was an important reminder of the things that matter to me, which surprisingly haven't changed that much since I was 18. It was just incredibly special, and I will remember it forever.

 

58. The Boy's cousins at the wedding- Is it a pleasure for every bride to see their new in-laws get into the party? Because if only Josephine and Nonno had danced, I think on some level the party would have been a success. I felt it was a major win that they all at least seemed like they were having a good time. 

 

59. These asparagus- this is definitely in the top ten wedding decisions we ever made. They were delicious, and phyllo-y, and cheesy, and amazing. And my Nana was the best and saved me some. I only have good things to say about all of our vendors, but JPC was really the bomb and the food was ridiculously delicious. I didn't hear any complaints. And if someone had complained about the asparagus I would have made them leave! (I kid) 

60. And while we are on the subject of how awesome JPC is, I have to say I loved all the flowers too. They really made some gorgeous miniature centerpieces and I loved our bouquets as well. I was just so happy to see how beautiful they turned out, and I loved all the little vessels they dug up for the flowers as well. I have to say, no that I am slowly gaining some perspective on the event, having great vendors really makes a world of difference, and pretty much all of ours were the bomb.

 

61. Marrying into a family where the Cousins will lovingly help me pick the bugs out  of my dress- The thing turned out to be a bit of a cesspool. But a very pretty one, so I won't complain too much. And I love the Boy's cousins Kristy and Kari, who got in there and picked them out.

 

 62. Chalk and big fluffy white dresses- Mostly I am just happy they talked her into wearing that thing at all, because when we tried it on her she was not having it. Even a little. She apparently freaked out the morning of the wedding too, but with a little encouragement from her dad, she held it together, and she rocked the dress most of the day. Pretty much the cutest kids in the whole world. 

63. Bullyhill Brass- Hearing "Wolverine Blues," even from a distance across Anchor Village, just makes me smile.  Same with "Just a Closer Walk with Thee." The sounds of these guys playing are just pure happiness and home to me.

 

64. Doing family pictures at Cocktail Hour- Sure it made things a little more frantic, but it also marked out a chunk of time with each branch of the family once everyone is already feeling festive and fun rather than stuffy. I would highly recommend this strategy to people who really don't want to spend their day stuck in the church taking pictures. 

 

65. Cornhole- My nana and Poppop made the set and it was a big hit I think. I never got to play at the party, but it looked like someone was always playing! 

66. This man's dancing- Amazing.

 

67. Jeremy Ganss- I think I will write specific notes for all the vendors later, but JG didn't even play ABBA, and I still love him. He was on point all night, never played one of those songs that cleared the floor, and genuinely seemed to be having a good time himself, which makes a big difference. Best DJ ever!

 

68. Also, our photographers. They made us robot heads, and they were amazing.They also actually already put up a blog of our pictures, which was totally unexpected, but is why we can show some of those pictures here! Check out the blog at http://www.firstblushphotos.com/blog/?p=1435 !

69. The Photo Booth Pictures! We got these back the next day and I love them so much they make me want to cry. I am just so happy to see everyone having a good night and I wish I had just camped out in there all night! My biggest regret (well, tied with that I never fixed my bangs!) is that I didn't get in here with my cousins.

70.  The lego cardbox- it turned out to be a real tour de force. I am pretty sure no one has ever seen a cardbox like this one, so I am pretty excited it came out so weird and wonderful. Well done to the Boy and all his brothers, biological and honorary!

 

71.  Reuniting with former tutors! Just seeing all these faces made me smile, and they were such a fun addition to the wedding and reception. Hoping that things go according to plan, and this wedding kicks off real planning for an annual tutor reunion!

 

72. Glow Bracelets- Why do they make people so happy? I truly have no idea, but man, they were all over them. Definitely a good investment.  

   

73. Our dance floor! My dream was that it would look glowy and magical, and it looked glowy and magical. Kudos to my dad and pretty much everyone at decorating for making it happen, but as the sun went down it became really clear that we had made something awesome! I was pretty excited about how it all turned out, not to toot my own horn, but this was one of the coolest parts of the party, I think.

74. Having my Bridal F-ing Powers for one day- I never really got into the center of attention thing, but I did love that badass things can happen when you are a bride! After the reception my dad realized he had lost his car keys, and after excessive collective fretting, a call to AAA, and lots of walking around with cell phone lights, I was walking out to talk to my dad and I just stepped on them. It was AWESOME!!! I never have that kind of luck, but that day I did, so yay bridal powers!

 

75. The Boy- Ok, I promise to keep the gushing to a minimum, but I am pretty excited to have signed up for a lifetime with this person. Anything good that came out of this wedding, at its root, comes from a partner who said " Sounds cool, how do we make it happen?" I feel like it shows one of our most formidable compatibilities; I am always plotting an adventure, and he is ready to help make it happen. Plus, he has great dance moves, real confidence, and looks pretty damn cute in a bow tie and suspenders.

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1960s Lace Wedding Dress for Vintage Bride Ruth.

Dear Reader,
This week's gorgeous bride is Ruth, who chose a beautiful original vintage 1960s lace wedding dress for her wedding to James in September...

Ruth is a design historian, so it was great fun going through my collection of original vintage wedding dresses together. As Ruth says, 

"As a design historian I was really keen to have a vintage dress and had the most amazing time trying on so many of Helena's beautiful dresses. I also had a soft spot for shorter dresses, I wanted something that I could wear with ease, didn't need help going to the toilet in (!) and could dance to my heart's content in! James and I just wanted to have fun on our big day and it was important to me to find a dress that would allow me to move, dance and enjoy myself!  This dress ticked all the boxes."

"I'm so pleased that I was able to pair this late 50s/early 60s dress with a 19th–Century–esque wax orange blossom headband, made by my mum! It made my outfit really personal and means I have a super special memento from the day (that I'm going to try and wear on every possible occasion)."

"It wasn't only my headdress that was really personal. We are lucky enough to know some really talented people and pretty much everyone who was involved in our day we know!"

"It was these personal touches like our friend Nadine doing all the graphic design, my mum making and decorating the cake, my friend Abi doing the bouquets and buttonholes, our friends' band Killer Grove playing in the evening, and our friend Tash's catering that made the day super special and really easy to plan." 

 

"We were lucky enough to get married in a place that has a very important part in our day-to-day lives and is the place where we met, our church St Mary's Bryanston Square. We wanted a big family day and this large early 19th Century church was the perfect place." 

"Thank you so much for all your time and help Helena. The dress was so perfect for me and it was so lovely to meet you and Grace, two people who are so talented and know so much about dress making and vintage fashion!"

I'll leave you with Ruth's wise words to any brides planning their weddings now...

 "My advice would always be to do things how you want them. Don't do things because that's how it's always done. Dispense with tradition when you want to and steal from the past when it makes you smile!"

You look amazing, Ruth, and I agree completely. I couldn't have put it better myself!
Love
Helena
Heavenly Vintage Brides

For more amazing Real Vintage Brides, check out my website page here…

Ruth's photographs with thanks to Katie Garner Photography

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Wedding Wednesday- Tips for getting Fit for your Wedding (especially if you aren't the kind of person who generally cares)

I am not going to say I am expert on this- clearly I am not. But over the last 3 years I have lost a good chunk of weight in a very slow way. Now, in preparation for the wedding, the Fancy has put us on a pretty strict diet plan and I push us on the Zumba.

I think the wanting to feel on top of your body for this makes sense to a certain extent, and it kind of annoys me that people constantly tell other getting married to not try for this at all. If nothing else, the transition gives you the opportunity to look at how you are living your life and what you can do better. I think it is a good thing. And if exerting more effort in any exercisey/ foody direction makes you feel better or at least more in control of the whole making a spectacle of yourself thing, then that seems fine to me too. We have taken advantage of the whole- this is the payoff structure to actually try, which is new, and has mixed results that generally I feel good about. So that's that.We are not sporty/outdoorsy/ particularly showy people, but we both have watched parents struggle with weight, and I know I don't want this to be a continuing narrative for the rest of my life. I at least want to understand it. 

Now that I am a little bit less than a month out, and honestly I think we will let up rather than bear down (people, it gets stressful at the end!) I thought I would give the tips that actually worked for us.

1. Learn to Pay Attention- A few months ago I signed up for Livestrong, and diet-wise, it is the best thing I ever did. I force myself to be totally honest on there, and it makes me so much more aware of how I eat. I like to sneak things, snack a little, but those things build up. By writing it all down, I really became aware of how much I was getting in my own way. It was a big paradigm shift. It also helped me shake off pop, hopefully forever, because I realized even the diet stuff sucked away my daily allowances for things. It is not worth it. I would say if you want to lose weight, start on a program like that, and there are many of them. The best you can do is set a standard for yourself and then be honest.

2. Find Something Exercisey that Isn't Too Horrible, and then Do It until it gets Horrible- Ugh, did I mention I also hate exercising? I like group classes, I don't mind aerobic-y stuff, but I hate to run, bike, etc. I find it all so boring. I need something that is changing to keep my brain busy so I am not just thinking "Man I Hate Exercise." I would highly recommend switching up what you do, but never doing nothing. One day might just be a simple walk with the fancy, but once you make it part of your routine, you just know you can't go to bed having done nothing.

3. Give Yourself Lots of Time, and Just Make Little Changes- This one is HUGE. Honestly, I have never dieted, but I know those things don't last. You know what is a good decision and what is a bad decision, and those should shift over time. A year ago I would have thought we were doing perfectly well if I had 2 cups of juice and pasta. Now, that would be a borderline bad day. There are definitely things we do now (tonight we got pizza and salad) that may not cut it a year from now. You are not a crazy actress on a microbiotic diet. Just start identifying 1 thing you could do better and do it. Build up momentum, but you should never be taking huge leaps. It's like that with exercise too. Even if you only do a little bit, it is better than doing nothing.

4.Fish- I love fish and seafood and it is super good for you. And it is not chicken. Chicken is so boring.  And it can be easier to get good information on what is most ethical to eat. It is also often one of the best healthy options on any menu. I realize this is more convenient in California than elsewhere, but the key is finding foods you love that are still good for you.

5. Buy a Dress You Already Love on Yourself- Ugh, how many times I stood in the bridal salon and thought "well maybe my stomach will be flat by then!" We are a month and change out. I still have my faithful companion the pooch. It is never going away. And even if it did, if I had worn the dress that was tight to my stomach, I would have thought every bunch of fabric was my chubby middle. It's not, but it is where I feel less secure. I do not want to play those games with myself. It's another one of those things, where you have to feel beautiful from the get, and everything else is bonus. No bargaining, or hoping, or starving. That's it.

6. Practice Making an Effort to Look Pretty- Like I said in an earlier blog, I am not the girl who generally cares about this stuff, but honestly I have enjoyed learning more about it as I get into wedding stuff. Take steps that make you feel good about how you look, whether it be wearing your favorite outfit or trying new makeup. You have to figure out how you already feel good about yourself, and focus on that stuff. This isn't about figuring out how to "fix" anything, but just actively making the decision to notice the things you like about yourself and focus on those things. That good feeling, rather than the blergy feeling I mostly feel when I look at myself, pushes me forward and motivates me to keep trying.

I feel like this one is really important, but there is no way to talk about it that isn't riddled with platitudes. In general, we are always willing to treat other people with love, to understand their beauty as being enhanced and nuanced by things they might perceive as flaws. I feel like we can accept the uniqueness of other's attractiveness easily because we look at a lot of people, so variety makes sense and feels good. On the other hand, we are stuck with ourselves, and that intimacy seems to more easily push us to just see good old flaws. We want ourselves to be everything, and no one is that way. If you are going to decide to commit to getting healthy, exercising, whatever, you pretty much have to commit to appreciating all the good stuff that is already there, because if you can't do that you will go crazy. It will never be enough. You owe yourself moments where you feel great and unique and beautiful and whatever else you are already. This isn't lady-centric either.  It doesn't have to be the center of your universe, but the more you can connect with that confidence, the less it has to be.

7. Every Day is a New One, Just Try to Do Better- You are going to mess up. Everytime we go home, I am sure this is the time we will actually be good. Then we get to my in-laws house and they have the best bread in the world. And I go out to dinner with my Dad, and just can't skip the Calimari. Or we decide on a whim to have a late night date and get drinks and dessert. I do my best not to feel too guilty about these moments. The next day will be better. Or we will skip out on Zumba 10 minutes in because we are just sick of Beto (this happened last night). Tonight, we will do better.

8. Don't Deprive Yourself, Because Getting Married Is Crazy Enough- Have your carbs at lunch. When you really want to have whatever that thing is you love, just have it. Who cares. If you are working harder on exercise, you won't self-sabotauge in the same way, because it is like throwing all your work away. But, for goodness sake, somedays planning a wedding is stressful, and if you are a stress eater (like I am) some days it is better to just give yourself a break. Not to mention, going crazy takes away the fun of the whole event, and if you aren't having fun, what exactly is the point? You can slave that weight off, but it won't make you all that much happier in the end. Choose your battles, and if you are feeling totally miserable, honest to goodness, you are pushing too hard. You can slowly move toward what you want, and you are so much likelier to stick with it. If you make yourself crabby, crazy, or (the worst) mean, you have accomplished nothing. F You Kate Moss, plenty of things taste better than skinny feels.

9. Fall in love with fruit- Fruit is the best. It is delicious and sweet and wonderful. In the summer it is even not all that expensive. You know what else is great? Zucchini! You can put it in like anything and then pat yourself on the back for eating healthy-ish. Look, you can eat a million kiwis and it will never be as good as cake. But if you eat 3 kiwis first, you may want less cake. At least that is how it has worked for me. I eat a pretty steady stream of sweets from fruit to try to keep my sweet tooth satisfied. Plus, then maybe you can avoid all the freaking greek yogurt and granola that every health website will try to talk you into.

10. And this is the Best Advice Ever... DRINK WATER- Everything will tell you to do this, but for good reason! I used to be the kind of person who would pass out from dehydration before I would drink water (no seriously, I did that). I loved clear pop, juice, really anything with sugar at its heart. I have weened myself off pop over the course of 2 years (I don't even have it at restaurants anymore, which was the rule for a long time). Now I have juice if we go out for brunch or something, but there is none in the house! Tasty crutches are all removed! Now, with the help of a cute Livestrong animation that congratulates me when I have 8 glasses, I down at least 6 to 10 glasses a day. It still tastes like nothing. It still is in no way a pleasure, but it isn't horrible. And my skin looks so so so so much better. No lie. If all it did was clear/ brighten up my skin it would be worth it. And the water fills me up so I don't feel as snacky. Everything will tell you this as its advice, but trust it. They are not wrong. Just cutting the pop business might be enough to help you lose that little bit of weight that makes you feel better and you can happily gain back once you are a married woman.

Anyway, this is my advice, which is not ground-breaking, but svelting up has been a part of wedding prep, and I have learned a lot from it as it has gone on. I think the biggest testament as this goes on is that as much as we talk about eating all cake diets once we are married, we both admitted today that we don't really want to go back completely. But then again, I so do! I am proud of us for sticking with it, which is probably a good long term skill to have in your arsenal. I am mostly happy that we are getting to the parts that are celebrations, and I don't want to be the bride just eating lettuce. Nobody should be that girl! The only thing worse than water is lettuce!

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Wedding Wednesday- How to Save on Wedding Decorations

Oy, wedding costs! You go into it with a vision, and then slowly, that vision can be chipped away just by the shrinking amount still left in the budget. Before you are really planning, you spend a lot of time plotting decorations and cool details, but those are often the things that get cut for the sake of the event as a whole. Some of that is inevitable, but I do think there are cool ways to approach decorations that can save you BIG money.

Even better, if you shift your approach to the stuff you buy for the wedding, you can save things from landfills and create less waste. So many of these decor pieces are used one night only, but if they are shared between many couples, they can have much longer and happier lives.

1. Let the Space do the Work- You picked your venues for a reason. Start with that premise and just let the beauty of your wedding and reception spaces shine through. If it's already a good-looking spot, you may not need much. Don't pick a theme that doesn't fit the room, and you have already saved yourself tons of money.

2. Focus on Lighting (and someone can always lend you lights)- If I had to decorate a whole reception with one item, it would be white twinkly lights. Lighting sets the mood, makes everything look intentional (even when it isn't), and adds that magical thing. Even better, you can almost always find lighting as a rental or used. Twice this summer, I have seen brides gifted tons of Christmas lights for their weddings on Buy Nothing. If you do get lights lent to you, be sure to mark who each strand belongs to. Otherwise, you can get this high impact item for very cheap or even free.

3. DIY it- I love browsing the decoration ideas on Etsy, but I am often struck how many of the things on there can just be made- you don't need to buy them! Sparkly branches? Glue, glitter, and a walk in the woods. Tissue paper flowers? Buy some bulk tissue paper and wire. Peg doll cake topper? Paint that business yourself. We made our escort cards from paint swatches- it doesn't have to be expensive to be memorable and fun.

 When you buy decor, you are paying for time and skill. Work ahead so you have the time, and you can self-assess which skills are within your wheelhouse. You can a little bit of money go a lot further this way! Only trick is to plan ahead!

4. Focal Points over Details- I have seen so many weddings where there were fussy centerpiece things at the table but nowhere to look in the room. Make a few spots really worth looking at and don't bother trying to make every corner beautiful. People will only remember a handful of things anyway.

5. Multi-task- Use your favors or cake or guests as decor. You have millions of choices dependent on your favor, but it's a nice way to have something do double duty. I went to a wedding last year where the cakes were the centerpieces, which saves tons of money on flowers, and you get more time with cake, so who can complain? Stepping out of the box even a little might help you figure out how to make what you are already paying for a key part of the room.

6. Everything Doesn't Have to Match Perfectly- Matchy matchy can be great if you are meticulous, but a little variation never hurt anyone. One of my best friends is very detail-oriented and got all the colors to match perfectly at her wedding. And it looked amazing, but it doesn't have to go that way. If you can find 40 free plates that look one way and 50 that look another, and they both fit, just use them both. It's more important to have a set sense of style than an overly particular matching set mentality. That sense of style and vision for the big picture is what will have the impact in the end.

7. And Please Don't Monogram your Napkins- Why. Why. Why. Why is this even still a thing? If you are doing the little cocktail napkins, by all means, get them in a color that resonates with your scheme (even better, get them recycled from a company like Susty). But why is this insta-garbage a good time to remind people whose wedding they are attending? No one has forgotten, and honestly, it is never all that classy. Put your money into other details, and then whatever you don't use can be for another couple or your dinner parties. Put the date on your favors, and skip the rest.

8. Get It Used- This is the most cost-effective AND eco-friendly thing you can do for your wedding decorations. So many wedding decorations become one time use things, and I hate to think of all the perfectly useful objects that get thrown out. But the bright side is you can find so much out there if you just know where to look and don't mind some browsing.

You can find great used decorations:

Newlyweds- We all know these big life events happen in waves. If you have friends getting married before you, check and see what you can get off their hands once they are hitched. We definitely gave decorations away to the Boy's beloved cousin, and our lights to the high school for dances. Your friends will have stuff they are happy to part with. Doesn't perfectly match? Get creative about what you can stretch to fit or change the color of and then offer the rest to others. After your hitched you can pay the favor forward!

On Buy Nothing- Have you joined your local Buy Nothing Project yet? I have seen it all on there- people offering their table runners to other asking for (and receiving) tons of glass vases for their center pieces. Check with your Buy Nothing and you could save 100's of dollars.

Goodwill and other Consignment Stores- Sometimes, this kind of shopping is a bust, but if you know what you need, you might find a steal. Also, lots of cities have craft consignment stores that might sell the ribbon or fabric you need as well.

Online Resale sites- Thank goodness for the internet, because you can now find everything you would ever want to decorate with used. Cheaper, convenient, and keeping things out of landfills? Amazing.

Ruffled is an absolute treasure, and you can find so many gorgeous things on their "Recycle your Wedding" pages. They have at least a thousand items, so it's a lot to go through, but you are sure to find something.  Make sure to check the price against the brand new cost, and don't be afraid to ask them to lower it a little (I mean, what else are they going to do with 100 extra mason jars?) Browse often, because things are going up all the time! You can find a steal on beautiful decorations.I may actually buy some things from them for a non-matrimonial party.

Tradesy- Tradesy started as wedding only, but they have had enough success to branch out. They have all kinds of wedding stuff, from bridesmaid dresses to wedding papers, but their decorations section is especially amazing and well-organized. They have 5,500+ items up right now! Easier to browse than most of the other sites as well. Be sure to join their mailing list so you get even more money off.

Wedding Recycle- This website also has lots of selection (about 3000 items) and they are connected to the Can't Buy me Love Project, where you donate wedding dresses that can be given away to brides who otherwise couldn't afford them. Pretty cool.

So you may be overwhelmed with the amount of money you have already spent nailing down the DJ and planning with the caterer. I don't blame you- weddings are expensive! But decorations is an area that with a little creativity, you can make huge impact with a little bit of money.

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