A GUIDE TO VINTAGE LACE WEDDING DRESSES Part 2: the story of modern lace

Dear Reader

I didn't realise how much I love vintage lace until I started sourcing the perfect fabrics for my own collection of vintage inspired wedding dresses. 

My search took me to specialist ateliers all over the world, where I became completely absorbed in the beauty of the vintage and reproduction lace I saw.

On my vintage wedding blog today, I'd like to share a little of what I learned and show you some beautiful examples.

The best lace is a blend of cotton and synthetic fibres. Cotton keeps its shape and colour over time and gives a firm feel and structure. Synthetic fibres add strength. This marriage of beauty with strength is perfect for recreating vintage wedding dresses. 

'Audrey' lace cover-up, from the vintage-inspired Heavenly Collection

Lace first became fashionable during the 1500s, when all lace was handmade, and was highly prized for both men and women as it was so labour-intensive. An extravagant gentleman's lace ruff (popular in Elizabethan times) required over 40 metres of lace, which would take one person a whole year to make. No wonder it cost the equivalent of several acres of good land!

Ornate lace ruff, from a painting by Spanish Renaissance artist, El Greco

Fashionable ladies made their own, and the skill of lace-making was a very desirable attribute in a wife! It continued as a rich lady's pastime or a 'cottage industry' for over 300 years, until the Industrial Revolution.

In the 1800s, lace-making machines were invented in England. Suddenly lace was available on a wider scale, and Nottingham became the lace-making centre of the world. My Butterfly and Angel dresses, below, use lace made specially for me by one of the oldest family firms in Nottingham. This original vintage style from the 1930s used to be called 'English Net'.

'Angel' from my Heavenly Collection of vintage-inspired wedding dresses

'Angel' vintage-inspired wedding dress

'Angel' vintage-inspired wedding dress

'Butterfly' from my Heavenly Collection of vintage inspired wedding dresses

'Butterfly' from my Heavenly Collection

By 1809 new machinery could replicate hand-made lace. But in 1813 came the biggest change of all: John Leavers invented the 'Leavers machine' in Long Eaton in the East Midlands. Lace became affordable, and a thriving industry sprung up making 'Leavers lace'. 

Leavers lace is still the kind most used by couture houses, notably Dolce & Gabbana, Christian Dior, Etro, Yves St Laurent, Paul Smith and even Vivienne Westwood. 

Lace dresses c. Dolce & Gabbana

The next development happened when the Leavers machine was smuggled to France - broken up in parts disguised as scrap metal! This made lace even more popular as the French competed with the English lace industry, and created an amazing variety of patterns. 

Detailing on lace dresses, c. Dolce & Gabbana

Today the French lace making industry is still centred around a small area of Northern France, in towns like Chantilly, Valenciennes, Alencon and Cluny. The industry has been kept alive by the passion of its local workers, who have stepped in to buy the machinery themselves when faced with closure. 

In turn, the machines were sold to Far East producers and lace production in France was scaled back. Now the Far East creates wonderful lace too. Amazingly, all modern Leavers lace is still produced on the same machinery, invented 200 years ago!

And English lace has become a luxury once more, with just a handful of small companies producing it. For more on the modern English lace industry, there's an interesting BBC feature here. 

For my Heavenly Collection of vintage inspired wedding dresses, I use lace from all these different sources - choosing the best from ateliers in Nottingham, France and Japan.

I've included some of my original vintage wedding dresses above, too, to show a variety of lace. Some of these are no longer available - but I always have lots of beautiful lace vintage dresses at my studio in West London (as well as my own collection of reproduction vintage dresses). Do come and have a look! To make an appointment, just contact me here. 

Thanks to Abby at Cherished for the loan of her beautiful headwear, to the lovely Robert Lawler for photography. And to you, dear reader, for stopping by today!

Love

Helena 

Heavenly Vintage Brides

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Wedding Wednesday- Disposable Necessities Done Right

Now I know all you unmarried wonderful people are almost tired of browsing ethical engagement rings. Must be time to fantasize about your future eco-friendly compostable wedding plates- right?

My brother and his longtime, lovely girlfriend are getting married this year, and I couldn't be more psyched about it. I have been trying to be helpful (ok, I have been giving wayyyy too much unsolicited advice to two perfectly competent adults). One of the things my soon to be sister-in-law did ask for advice on was plates for the reception that were one time use but eco-friendly.

This is a challenge lots of us face for our weddings (or really any big party we throw)- when you host a party that big, it isn't surprising that some of the wares will be disposable. Maybe you are renting tables, chairs, plates, and silverware, but I bet you have had the cocktail napkin conversation (GAH!!! Do not get monogrammed napkins. Everyone already knows what wedding they are at- what a waste of money). Or maybe you are going to buy straws and cups for the bar.

This topic is boring (no, really!), so it doesn't get much attention on most wedding sites, but your approach to what you throw away might be the singlemost environmentally-conscious decisions you make. How much of this blessed day would you like to go to a landfill?

Disposable is certainly easy to come by (and cheap), but think about your priorities before you go that way across the board. Please, if you can rent any of these supplies from your caterer (or the venue or a local party rentals place), do it. Renting means reuse, which is exponentially less harmful for the environment than any one time use goods.

That being said, sometimes the cost difference is ridiculous, and other times (with things like straws and cocktail napkins), a rentable option may not exist. Maybe you are doing a big potluck picnic or another party where disposable makes the most sense. We used paper straws and plastic cups (would do that differently now), and I think most couples do end up with a mix. If you splurge a little on compostable and recycled goods for even half of these items, your wedding will have a significantly more positive impact on the world you will be married in.

If this isn't for you, but you want to do a little, don't buy any plastic. No plastic plates, straws, or cups. They are incredibly wasteful, dangerous to wildlife, and will outlive our grandchildren. Plastic is a problem, never a real solution.

So if you are doing the world's most boring wedding shopping, let me join you. Here are some things worth looking into:

Plates

Americans throw out a trillion disposable plates A YEAR. Can you even imagine a trillion? At the very least, we can make the ones we add compostable.

Some people use all disposable plates, and others only go that route for dessert or appetizer plates. Whatever you need to do is what you need to do, but I think you can find something classier and eco-friendly all at once. Yes, you can get a plastic plate in exactly your colors, but 100+ plastic plates straight to a landfill? Kind of a bummer, and you might be able to find something just as cost-effective while being much more eco-friendly. Plus, I think the perfectly matched thing only works for particular styles, and you have to be very meticulous to make it work. It's a wedding. White always makes sense.

As a side note, LOOK AROUND and see where you can buy what you want in bulk. If you buy your plates 25 at a time, you will be wasting money. Track those bigger sets down on websites like Eco Party or Webstaurant Store.

Susty Party from Amazon

Our Pick- I think if you are going for an elegant look, it doesn't get much better than the Susty Party square plates. They are sturdy, look so sharp for a table, and cost about as much as any "premium" plastic plates they sell for weddings (around 50 cents a plate). They have a dessert plate as well, and I just think this is an absolute winner if you are having a more elegant or classic wedding.

Leafware from Amazon

If you are doing something more rustic, I love these Leafware plates (compostable, not recyclable) and made out of palm leaves. They are very sturdy and look gorgeous and modern. Plus, they will decompose, so they create no waste. Win! If they don't quite fit your style, check Thynk and CiboWares as well.

Other Options- Susty also sells a more rustic and papery option that still look great and these ones are made in America as well. For any of our regular life parties, this is probably what we would buy. They scream picnic to me, not necessarily wedding (though some colors look more polished than others), but if you are having a more picnicky shindig, this is an awesome option.

Bamboo options, like these plates from Bambu, exist as well! Find an aesthetic that works for yoru style. If you want something even more low key, try these plates from Earth's Natural- still completely biodegradable and only 18 cents a plate!

Cups

Susty Party from Amazon

We definitely used plastic cups at our wedding bar (there may still be some floating around 4 years later). If I could go back, I would put our drinks in something more eco-friendly. Because, why not? If one more good thing (beyond the dancing) came out of our alcohol, who can complain?

Our Pick- I tried to find ones that don't advertise themselves too much, not because there is anything wrong with being environmentally-psyched, but it doesn't always look that pretty. Susty Party sells both clear compostable cups and even more environmentally-friendly paper cups, so they may be the big winner in this category.

Other Options- There are tons of other options, and some like Zilchables are even made in the USA. They all have branding on them, which is a pain in the butt, but if you are less fussy than me and don't care, you can find a great deal and a huge eco-friendly win- Eco-Products, Stalkmarket, World Centric, and Repurpose.

Make sure to to poke around and find the bulk option that best fits the number you were thinking- great way to save some money!

Straws

Tranquilo from Amazon

Who doesn't love a straw in their cocktail? If you want a little something extra at your bar, paper straws are biodegradable and eco-friendly. Plus, they are trendy enough that you can absolutely find something eco friendly AND in your colors!

Our Pick- Tranquilo straws are made from paper, in the US, and money goes to Ocean Clean Up projects. Their stated goal as a company is to eliminate the "needless consumption of disposable plastic products." As you can probably guess, this company is one of my absolute favorites. If you are buying straws for anything, buy these ones. The options on Amazon are limited, but you can find more on Tranquilo's website.

Other Options- Any paper straws are a thousand times better (and classier) than any plastic straw. You do more good if you find ones that haven't traveled far (so maybe not Kikkerland- at least try their subset Green Party Straws that biodegrade). I really love Aardvark straws because they have lots of colors, biodegrade, and are made in the USA. You also do more good if you find ones using recycled paper. Crave sells all recycled ones, so it might be a great option.

Still can't find the perfect straw? Hello, Etsy. "Paper Straws" and the USA filter gets you 16,000+ options. Some of my favorites- Puppy Cat Crafts (every color or pattern you could possibly want), Cherished Blessings (super affordable if you can find your color), The Papered Table (great options all around) and The Party Gnome (crazy patterns, but I like the birch if you are doing a rustic wedding). You can probably get all you would need for 10-20 dollars, and it is so much cuter than those damn cocktail napkins.

Silverware

Brichware from Amazon

Ugh, plastic silverware is the worst, right? What a waste to use a piece of plastic once and then send it off to the landfill. You still have better options than horrible plastic- even recycled plastic isn't great if you are just going to toss them. We will never go back to this- it just doesn't make sense. The wooden and biodegradable stuff looks and feels better too, and the price difference isn't too significant when you buy in bulk.

Our Pick- Wooden Cutlery. They really do look beautiful, and I think they could work with so many wedding styles. I couldn't find a specifically "Made in America" brand, so let's do the best we can. My favorite might be these Birchware wood cutlery- they have clean modernist ones and more elegant choices, so I think it could be great for so many weddings. I also think buying the pieces separately makes sense since you need way more forks than spoons for most menus.

You have more options, some of which cost less, so look around and find the wood (and biodegradable) options that work for you- HUJI Disposable (super cost-effective), Perfect Stix (also well-priced and great reviews), Creative Juice Cafe, and Pretty Sweet Party.

Other Options- Bioplastic. You can get plastic made from plants that still biodegrades I don't think it is nearly as attractive, but you can save money and it still biodegrades! Repurpose has a line of biodegradable silverware and you can get everything you possibly need (maybe for your whole marriage). I love that they are out to replace all those disposables that hurt your wedding's carbon footprint. Transitions 2 Earth has some to look out as well- they are made in China and biodegrade over 5 to 20 years. So mixed bag, but still an improvement on plastic.

Napkins

Now I know I have been pretty secretive about how I feel about decorative napkins at weddings. You probably aren't sure where I stand. Oh you are? Alright, well let's just leave it there then.

If you aren't going to use them as major decor, I say go basic. If your wedding aesthetic works with that recycled kraft color, go that route. If not, white and recycled is still way more eco-friendly.

Our Pick- My loyalty remains with Seventh Generation for eco-friendly paper goods, and you can get 100% recycled lunch napkins (in white or kraft) at low prices. They don't sell cocktail napkins, so for that, I would recommend Hoffmaster kraft napkins which are 100% recycled and made in the US.

Susty Party from Amazon

Other Options- Susty Party sells some cocktail napkins with great-looking designs (you can find them here too). I can't remember one napkin from any wedding I attended, but maybe you love a good napkin. Start with this company then. If you want something plain white, Tree Free cocktail napkins are made of bagasse (sugar cane) instead of tree products. They also donate proceeds to the Arbor Day foundation!

Need more eco-friendly wedding inspiration? It isn't all about one thing- you can take so many routes to make your wedding that much more ethical and kind to the environment. Check the Eco-wedding tag for more ideas.

Need mroe general shopping inspiration? Nice! Check out the Giant List of Shopping Lists.

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Wedding Wednesday- How to Save on Wedding Decorations

Oy, wedding costs! You go into it with a vision, and then slowly, that vision can be chipped away just by the shrinking amount still left in the budget. Before you are really planning, you spend a lot of time plotting decorations and cool details, but those are often the things that get cut for the sake of the event as a whole. Some of that is inevitable, but I do think there are cool ways to approach decorations that can save you BIG money.

Even better, if you shift your approach to the stuff you buy for the wedding, you can save things from landfills and create less waste. So many of these decor pieces are used one night only, but if they are shared between many couples, they can have much longer and happier lives.

1. Let the Space do the Work- You picked your venues for a reason. Start with that premise and just let the beauty of your wedding and reception spaces shine through. If it's already a good-looking spot, you may not need much. Don't pick a theme that doesn't fit the room, and you have already saved yourself tons of money.

2. Focus on Lighting (and someone can always lend you lights)- If I had to decorate a whole reception with one item, it would be white twinkly lights. Lighting sets the mood, makes everything look intentional (even when it isn't), and adds that magical thing. Even better, you can almost always find lighting as a rental or used. Twice this summer, I have seen brides gifted tons of Christmas lights for their weddings on Buy Nothing. If you do get lights lent to you, be sure to mark who each strand belongs to. Otherwise, you can get this high impact item for very cheap or even free.

3. DIY it- I love browsing the decoration ideas on Etsy, but I am often struck how many of the things on there can just be made- you don't need to buy them! Sparkly branches? Glue, glitter, and a walk in the woods. Tissue paper flowers? Buy some bulk tissue paper and wire. Peg doll cake topper? Paint that business yourself. We made our escort cards from paint swatches- it doesn't have to be expensive to be memorable and fun.

 When you buy decor, you are paying for time and skill. Work ahead so you have the time, and you can self-assess which skills are within your wheelhouse. You can a little bit of money go a lot further this way! Only trick is to plan ahead!

4. Focal Points over Details- I have seen so many weddings where there were fussy centerpiece things at the table but nowhere to look in the room. Make a few spots really worth looking at and don't bother trying to make every corner beautiful. People will only remember a handful of things anyway.

5. Multi-task- Use your favors or cake or guests as decor. You have millions of choices dependent on your favor, but it's a nice way to have something do double duty. I went to a wedding last year where the cakes were the centerpieces, which saves tons of money on flowers, and you get more time with cake, so who can complain? Stepping out of the box even a little might help you figure out how to make what you are already paying for a key part of the room.

6. Everything Doesn't Have to Match Perfectly- Matchy matchy can be great if you are meticulous, but a little variation never hurt anyone. One of my best friends is very detail-oriented and got all the colors to match perfectly at her wedding. And it looked amazing, but it doesn't have to go that way. If you can find 40 free plates that look one way and 50 that look another, and they both fit, just use them both. It's more important to have a set sense of style than an overly particular matching set mentality. That sense of style and vision for the big picture is what will have the impact in the end.

7. And Please Don't Monogram your Napkins- Why. Why. Why. Why is this even still a thing? If you are doing the little cocktail napkins, by all means, get them in a color that resonates with your scheme (even better, get them recycled from a company like Susty). But why is this insta-garbage a good time to remind people whose wedding they are attending? No one has forgotten, and honestly, it is never all that classy. Put your money into other details, and then whatever you don't use can be for another couple or your dinner parties. Put the date on your favors, and skip the rest.

8. Get It Used- This is the most cost-effective AND eco-friendly thing you can do for your wedding decorations. So many wedding decorations become one time use things, and I hate to think of all the perfectly useful objects that get thrown out. But the bright side is you can find so much out there if you just know where to look and don't mind some browsing.

You can find great used decorations:

Newlyweds- We all know these big life events happen in waves. If you have friends getting married before you, check and see what you can get off their hands once they are hitched. We definitely gave decorations away to the Boy's beloved cousin, and our lights to the high school for dances. Your friends will have stuff they are happy to part with. Doesn't perfectly match? Get creative about what you can stretch to fit or change the color of and then offer the rest to others. After your hitched you can pay the favor forward!

On Buy Nothing- Have you joined your local Buy Nothing Project yet? I have seen it all on there- people offering their table runners to other asking for (and receiving) tons of glass vases for their center pieces. Check with your Buy Nothing and you could save 100's of dollars.

Goodwill and other Consignment Stores- Sometimes, this kind of shopping is a bust, but if you know what you need, you might find a steal. Also, lots of cities have craft consignment stores that might sell the ribbon or fabric you need as well.

Online Resale sites- Thank goodness for the internet, because you can now find everything you would ever want to decorate with used. Cheaper, convenient, and keeping things out of landfills? Amazing.

Ruffled is an absolute treasure, and you can find so many gorgeous things on their "Recycle your Wedding" pages. They have at least a thousand items, so it's a lot to go through, but you are sure to find something.  Make sure to check the price against the brand new cost, and don't be afraid to ask them to lower it a little (I mean, what else are they going to do with 100 extra mason jars?) Browse often, because things are going up all the time! You can find a steal on beautiful decorations.I may actually buy some things from them for a non-matrimonial party.

Tradesy- Tradesy started as wedding only, but they have had enough success to branch out. They have all kinds of wedding stuff, from bridesmaid dresses to wedding papers, but their decorations section is especially amazing and well-organized. They have 5,500+ items up right now! Easier to browse than most of the other sites as well. Be sure to join their mailing list so you get even more money off.

Wedding Recycle- This website also has lots of selection (about 3000 items) and they are connected to the Can't Buy me Love Project, where you donate wedding dresses that can be given away to brides who otherwise couldn't afford them. Pretty cool.

So you may be overwhelmed with the amount of money you have already spent nailing down the DJ and planning with the caterer. I don't blame you- weddings are expensive! But decorations is an area that with a little creativity, you can make huge impact with a little bit of money.

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Wedding Wednesday- Unique and Eco-Friendly Wedding Invites and Other Paper Goods

from Alison Kate Design in Missouri

I have strayed away from this topic before, because it seems like one of the more obvious choices for greening your wedding- if you care about the environment, you have probably thought about this. On the other hand, I know I thought that recycled invitations all have a very specific look. Like a mason jar wrapped in burlap, but in paper form. Like maybe some granola will fall out of the envelope.

What is surprising is that you can get recycled paper invitations in ANY style. No matter what kind of scene you want to set, you can do it on recycled paper.

Once you know recycled paper invites (and other wedding paper goods- save the dates, thank you cards, etc.) can come in as mainstream, traditional, quirky, indie, or whatever else style you want, it opens up the opportunity to do something good on the sly. You can find anything you need without one tree falling down, and in that way, your wedding is doing some real good.

Here are some of the best options I found for Eco-Friendly wedding invitations that can be as unique or mainstream as you want them to be. Even if this isn't something you ever considered, be sure to take a look, because your wedding is a step into your future, and we all want a future with clear air.

Let's do this!

 Forever Fiances

This ridiculously cool save the date and wedding invitation company gives you two eco-friendly options for your invites.First, you can buy plantable invitations! These are made of recycled paper with plants inbedded inside of them, so your guests can go plant them after the fact. If that feels a little too heavy-handed for your style, they have recycled paper options as well (they call them "new tree free- I love that!). I actually like the plantable designs better than the recycled ones, but there are so many options and you can probably find something that works for your plans.

This is so unique and cool, and I think it sets the stage for a great wedding, whether you want to foreground your eco-friendly choices or let the day be about something else. Their prices are almost identical to shops like Wedding Paper Divas, so you won't be breaking the bank, AND you will be saving trees and even starting new ones! Either way, incredibly exciting. Why don't all companies work this way?

Jealous you can't get married again to use this company? Me too! They also sell personalized business cards, invitations, and other stationary, so check them out.

Your Local Invitation Maker (this includes you)

Lots of communities and cities have local options for calligraphers. It may be easier to get something online, but be sure to look around and see what is available near you, because dealing with an actual person can be more satisfying. You are supporting a local business, cutting down your weddings carbon footprint, and you can get exactly what you want.

If you are particularly talented in this area (and you have a good chunk of time), you could totally make your invites yourself! It would be a special and memorable way to go about it, you could pick recycled paper and soy inks, and you will probably save oodles of money to spend elsewhere. You can find eco-friendly papers at lots of these stores, like Green Field Paper Co.

 If doing the invites sounds like a lot, you can also consider how to use those skills or that beautiful penmanship elsewhere in the events; make the menu (maybe do one standing card per table or a large sign to cut down on paper), make seating charts or placecards or your programs. Paper comes in so many places, and anywhere you can consolidate or do it yourself, you can save money and save trees.

If you are going local, which is awesome, be sure to ask them about recycled paper and soy-based inks. Part of the perk of dealing with a smaller company is that you can talk to them face to face and hopefully work out something that is perfect! This is a cool way to support your community and to help the environment.

Minted

We bought our save the dates from this company, and they looked beautiful and used recycled paper and envelopes. One of the best things about this company is that they have a wide variety of designs coming from many different American designers, so you know your cards will have a style that matches you perfectly. This company always stays just a little bit ahead of trends, and their cards seem cool without trying too hard. They have almost a thousand options, and you can order most with recycled paper for 15-35 dollars extra (pretty affordable). I love them, and I think they are a great option.

Bloomin

Bloomin also sells plantable wedding invites, save the dates, thank you's, seating cards. Basically the whole shebang. I love how broad their paper supplies are, And their designs are mostly simple and timeless (especially considering the whole thing will be buried in the dirt in no time). Waste free and really special, this might still be a great option for one of your other wedding paper needs outside of the invites themselves.

In fact, my favorite might be "Growfetti" which would be a perfect substitute for bubbles (that come in little plastic containers), confetti, or rice. Just make sure it is alright at the place where you are getting married! A church lawn might not be the place, but a country wedding in a big field, it might be just fine.

Green Field Paper

This store sells recycled paper, seeded/ plantable paper, and even paper made of hemp. Before you stick your nose up, be sure to check it out, because they have so many options you might actually find the perfect thing. They don't have a ton of options, and I am not in love with all of them, but some are great and might be just your style. Plus, you can choose which paper your design comes on, so you get to prioritize what matters most to you.

As a side note, this company also sells Christmas cards, including ones made out of 100% junk mail. God bless this company, because that is genius.

Zazzle 

Recycled wedding invitations are becoming common enough now that lots of more mainstream companies like zazzle offer a recycled paper option. Another great option to look through if you aren't finding what you are imagining!

Twisted Limb

This company is on the opposite end of the Zazzle spectrum. They make handmade recycled paper that is stitched into invitations. As someone who has handmade paper before, I can tell you a heck of a lot of time and love went into these beauties. You couldn't get something more precious and special unless you made it yourself. To be totally honest, I am not sure invitations need to be such precious objects; we have kept some wedding invites but they aren't particularly treasured. But if you are having a very small wedding, it might make a really cool splurge.

Wedding Websites

Ok, I am not suggesting you only use an e-invitation unless that suits you (or you are having a pretty informal or tech-savvy wedding), but skipping the rsvp and having people rsvp online is a super efficient and cost effective (see also- free!) way to help the environment. If you send 100 invitations, just skipping the RSVP saves 100 pieces of paper and 100 envelopes. If you skip the whole invite, that is even more. If you are going that route, you can always do something simple like The Knot or wedding Jojo, or if you have the skills, pick something more open-ended, you techie you.

Arbor Day Foundation

Maybe you can't get your invites in these cards, but you could get your thank you cards there! It would be a simple way to have your wedding do some good- every card you buy will pay for a tree. So if you send 50 thank you cards, you also plant 50 trees. That's pretty amazing when you consider how many trees come down a year for wedding invitations.

Etsy

 We all knew I was going to end on this note, but do you know how many gorgeous invitation options you can find there? You can find one made in America (shorter trip, less fossil fuels, lower carbon footprint) and on recycled paper. We bought our invites on Etsy from someone in our state. We loved them so much, and because we were dealing with a real person,  I could just write her and we worked out tablenumbers too!You can also get printables and pick your own recycled cardstock. Here are a few to lust over, but your best bet is to write in "recycled wedding invitations and get to browsing. These are my favorites:

from Cricket Printing

from AMG Design Co

from Casey Snyder Design

from vohandmade

from Eco Weddigs by Cc

This is the tip of the iceberg- be sure to explore the links. I know when I was shopping, I looked for the perfect style that perfectly matched our colors and style and theme, etc etc. I did it, but I still wish I had prioritized differently. You can find that thing that is exactly what you want aesthetically, but we are asking you to This blog is suggesting that if you narrow the field to be "new tree free," you will end up something that may not be "perfect," but you will love it just as much, and you can feel really good about it.

Want more unique and Earth-friendly wedding inspiration?  Check out my Giant List of Shopping Lists!

If you like this post, please share it! This blog is all about making small changes. The more people who make these small shifts, the better the Earth will be!

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Wedding Wednesday- 10 (Eco-friendly) Ways to be the Favorite Shower Guest

In one lifetime, most women will go to a LOT of bridal showers. Some will be of women who absolutely own our hearts. Others will be for our boyfriend's cousin's fiance where we will awkwardly sit in the corner. Either way, there will be a registry, and there will be a long chunk of shindig where we watch the bride, groom, or both open gifts.

So, how does bridal showering change when you are trying to be eco-friendly or buy local?

It can be a challenge. The couple gets to make an exact list of what they want, and if it turns out to be full of Made in Elsewhere junk that hurts your heart to buy, you can really feel stuck between compromising your own priorities or being the jerk buying decorative birdhouses.

These are my best ideas of how to be an awesome guest, how to break the mold enough to be interesting, but not so much that you are the one they tell stories about later. You can kick ass at bridal showering and stay eco-friendly! Here's how:

1. Pair the Personal with the Practical- Something small and personal makes for the most memorable gifts. One of our friends gave us a little stone with our faces painted on as a wedding gift. It is still one of my favorites. I also received two quilts and a blanket that I love and continue to be in use at our house. If you know the wedding colors or something they might need for the wedding, you could go that route. We received some things that were thoughtful, but not that useful (a lot of decorative platters) and some that were practical but not personal, but if you can combine registry desires with a personalized theme or something you made yourself, you can really nail the gift.

2. Forget Adulting, Put in for the Honeymoon- Looking at the registry and having trouble finding an eco-friendly option? Ugh, that smarts. The couple may be equally happy to accept money OR if you want to go big, ask after their honeymoon and put money specifically toward that. Wedding showers are especially all about practicality, and that can become a drag, so see if you can't invest in a cool memory for them on their trip.

There are registries specific for honeymoon funds, but even if they don't have one, I bet they will love the help. I know one of my friends skipped out on the activity she most wanted to do, because it was too expensive. In retrospect, I wish I could have skipped the wedding/shower gift and put money in for that. Stuff is just stuff, but making new and amazing memories can fuel a marriage.

3. Come Prepared to Have Fun- You want to give your bride a gift? Have a great time. The hosts can only prepare so much- once you get to a party, the fun of the shindig depends on all of the guests. Time to play silly games? Go into it with Olympic intensity to make it awesome. Small talking with the bride's crazy relatives? Lean in, my friend. Don't sit in the corner, only hang out with your people, or worst of all, let someone else be uncomfortable or alone.

At a wedding, in my expert opinion, you are contractually obligated to start the bride and groom's marriage off with a full dance floor and happy faces. Do the shower version of that.

4. Write a Good Note- Showers can be overwhelming events where the bride or groom doesn't get the time they hope for with each guest (I know I felt that way). No matter what you decide to gift, a thoughtful note and some encouragement might be the best gift you can give. Write something personal and genuine, and you could very well make his or her day when they can really go through things without an audience.

5. Skip the Lingerie- No one wants to open something seedy with all of their aunts watching. Maybe someone does, but if you aren't sure that is that bride, just skip it. If you want to do something romantic, buy some gift certificates to local restaurants and invest in some date nights. Seriously, underwear gifts are way more weird than clever.

6. Go in Together for One Gift- Don't hate- collaborate! You may not have the.budget for a really fabulous gift, but you could go in with other guests to go big. We get into this idea that more gifts= better gifts, but there is something to be said for a gift they may not be able to afford themselves. They can go buy a kitchen clock themselves, but a new set of knives might be way out of reach. Not to mention, this gesture might save them from the long, awkward present-opening part of the shindig, which is a lot of pressure.

You can do this two ways- collect money anonymously, and figure out what you an buy with it. Or, pick something first and let people donate with knowledge of the endpoint. Spend less time worrying whether the generosity is equal- it's not a competition.

7. Take Pictures- Ok, maybe this seems silly, but I think one of the best things you can do for a couple on the path to getting married (or having a baby) is to be positive, enthusiastic, and to help document any and all festivities. You get to the other end of things and can feel like it slipped through your fingers, so some pictures from others helps them have a fuller perspective on these days and all of the good stuff happening. It costs you no money, minimal time, and can really be so sweet and thoughtful.

8. Make the Switch or Get out of the Box- Not excited about the registry? You can try to do a switch out using my suggestions on The Eco-Friendly and Made in America Wedding Registry. Don't see anything that speaks to you? What are some other things they will definitely need? What about movie tickets or some other kind of date night? Gift cards for take out places with their menus? A cheese of the month club. Invest in the memories they will make as a couple! Or go a totally different route and cut out a practical concern for them- give them all the quarters they will ever need for laundry with The Simply Co soap and dryer balls. Get them all the tissues they will ever need and a throw blanket for sick days. Get them Amazon Prime or a netflix subscription. By shifting your paradigm to less concrete gifts, you can really come up with something cool.

9. Buy 3 Used Gifts Instead of One New One- This is true for baby showers too- some things on registries (measuring cups, anything glass, kitchen tools) are ALWAYS for sale in consignment and antique stores. Still look at what they want, but get something a little more special and a LOT more cost-effective. You can get 4 kitchen tools at Goodwill for the same cost as one from Bed Bath and Beyond. Way to help them fill up that kitchen AND reduce waste!

10. It's All About Them- Sometimes you know the bride or groom better than others; it is well worth it to keep who they are in mind before you go for it. Maybe they are the kind of people who would LOVE practical gifts like a year's worth of paper towels and toilet paper- think of the drudgery they can skip! Other people would hate it. If you aren't sure, call one of those numbers on the RSVP line and ask them. If it still seems risky, do 60% what they said they want and 40% something a little riskier.

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Wedding Wednesday- Eco-Friendly Wedding Guest Wear

In your early 20's, it still feels weird to go to friends' weddings. 

By your mid-20's, it is an established part of your summer routine. Most of us even get into those binds where we are invited to more than one in a weekend. 

By the end of your 20's, you are a pro, and you could probably fill your Saturdays watching people get hitched. 

Wedding Guesting is an art all its own, and it can become a big part of life (and your budget). We may spend most wedding talk on issues of planning, but most of us will go to more weddings as a guest than a participant (unless we are a real badass), so it might be worth it to figure out how to do it well (find that drunken shenanigan line- yes to dancing, no to anything you wouldn't want a professional photographer present for), how to do it with style, and even how to do it in an eco-friendly way. 

I love going to a wedding- how many events do you get to go to where you just get to be excited for someone else, eat cake, and get dressed up? I just like when good things happen to people, and weddings are usually (but not always) really good things. The weddings in our life have picked up from year to year, though this year we are in a lull, and we had to miss a few people we really love due to travel and pregnancy-related limitations (before this year, we always tried to make it, and I think we were only thwarted once due to a nasty case of viral exanthems- sorry Kate!). I would like to believe we have gotten pretty good at guesting, at least as good as we can while still being super awkward dorks. These are the key responsibilities as I see them: 

1. Have a Good Time- Someone spent a bunch of money trying to make this party a good time. So get on board whatever ship they are sailing. Dance even if the dj is not the greatest (or prioritizes taking selfies). Participate in the activity, even if it is dorky. Make small talk even if you truly are the worst at it. You are a collaborator in the good time, so get in there and have fun like it is your job. 

2. Get a Good Gift- A gift's value can come from a lot of things, but gifting is my love language, so I take it very seriously. MORE HERE. 

3. Don't Look a Hot Mess- Don't be the guest they are trying to crop out of pictures. This is a wedding; no camo shorts, nipples, or super fashion moments are needed (these are all things I have seen while a guest). The bride and groom probably indicated to you the level of formality and the general style of the wedding (often the colors too) in the invite. Don't try to dress like a bridesmaid, but you can try to get in the spirit of the event with your clothes. 

But here is the problem. If you are going to be a professional wedding guest, that adds up to a lot of travel, a lot of gifting, and a lot of merriment. It also means you are dressing up A LOT. 

You can green your gifting by seeking out the green items on their registry, giving them honeymoon money, or by doing simple substitutions by using the Made in America and Eco-Friendly Wedding Registry, 

It turns out you can turn your many fashion moments into productive and eco-friendly purchases as well. Let's go through it by formality. Not that I actually understand the different formality levels, because they are impossible, and we are a generation of ragamuffins. I'll split by gender too, but obviously you should ride the line or do whatever makes sense for you. Just gathering resources.

Formal (white tie) and Semi-Formal (black tie)

For Guys-  Rent a Tuxedo! If you think you have enough black tie events in your future, buying one might make sense. Even mainstream stores like Men's Wearhouse have their USA- made selections obviously marked. I saw a few on Nordstrom as well, but they are so expensive! How many times would you have to rent before it is cheaper to buy? Sharing/ renting makes sense to me for your average guy.

For Ladies- I have always hated that men can rent a tux and women are supposed to shell out so much money for a dress. It's not that way anymore! I am all about Rent the Runway, where you can rent formal dresses I know I could never afford. It gives you the chance to switch up your look, and it is more environmentally-friendly than all of us having some formal dresses just collecting dust in our closets. You can get dresses at every level of formality (starting as low as 30 bucks), but it makes the most sense when you are headed to a black tie wedding, because, really, when are you reusing that gown?

If your answer is "all the time, B," you are in luck. Certain designers of more formal dresses- Nicole Miller, Zac Posen, Jason Wu, Jennifer Kroll - have already pledged to make (at least some of) their dresses in the United States. Nordstrom has 46 options for made in America formal dresses. You can even try Amazon (just read the description before you buy. They love "or imported" in the descriptions). Anthropologie sells one line of Made in America dresses that would work for bridesmaids or guests. I tried to aim on the simple side, because you can always switch up the style around it, but that is my best tip- go classic in a simple color, and you might get more years of life out of the dress. 

Informal (Suit and Cocktail Dress)

For Guys- Most men (but not all, so self-assess don't sweat it if this isn't you) should probably own at least two suits: a grey or black one and a navy one. The nice thing for dudes is they can buy one or two really well-made suits, and then wear them forever. It's kind of this blog's dream for all people, regardless of their gender. Most suits aren't cheap, but a good one can last you so long that you really get your money's worth. 

I know Men's Wearhouse carries a brand Joseph Abboud that are sewn in the United States, so you can go pretty basic and still buy something ethical with minimal negative impact. Their dress pants are even on sale, so it can have minimal pocket impact as well. Nordstrom has a whole section of Made in America suits as well, though I cannot imagine ever being rich enough to spend that kind of money. 

I don't have much advice on men's fashion, but I do HIGHLY recommend the American List on the Continuous Lean. They have a massive list of American-made fashion and gear for men. We have had great luck with everything they have recommended. 

For Ladies- First, a lot of the answers for a great cocktail dress are the same- check out Rent the Runway, you might be surprised by their 1127 options. I think I will do this next time, because the dresses look so beautiful and at least at this moment, my body is always in flux, so purchasing something doesn't make a ton of sense. 

Lots of cocktail dresses are made domestically, so if you do want to buy, you can support slow fashion, the American worker, and shrinking the fossil fuel consumption that plagues uneccessary imports. Nordstrom has 400+ made in America options. Amazon has hundreds as well. You can also find beautiful cocktail dresses made by American designers like Nanette Lepore or (my favorite) Eva Franco. (you can also shop for both of their stuff on Anthropologie). You could also browse Modcloth's Made in America pages.  Lastly, try Shabby Apple- this American brand sells gorgeous dresses that would work perfectly for weddings and cocktail events. 

Casual (everything else)

For Guys- My husband would probably still wear a suit, but for most guys, a few button ups and some trusted dress pants are all you need to survive those less formal weddings. Use what you already have and invest in pieces that will last you. My advice? Look for some button ups on The American List from A Continuous Lean. It may cost more at first, but get something classic and it should last you longer. For neckties, I recommend used or something from The General Knot Co or The Hillside.

For Ladies- If you are in a sundress situation, your first good bet is to check your own closet or favorite consignment store. There are plenty of sundresses out in the world, so you are likely to find something great without looking far. If  you are feeling like you need something special, try checking out Shabby Apple, Modcloth, or Nordstrom. Try a new consignment store, borrow from friends, Thred Up, or even Rent the Runway. You can get something amazing for 30 bucks, for goodness sakes! 

Prioritize getting things used, and if not used, made in America. Stop buying things that are ok, and only shell out for dresses you love enough to keep wearing! Bonus points if you can dress it up or down to get more use out of it. I also think doing separates might get you more bang for your buck- you can use different combinations on those wedding-saturated summers. You have so many options, there is no reason to spend money on a dress that was unethically-made and wastes fossil fuels.

A few other Green Habits for weddings-

Turn down the plastic straw or stirrer. You can't stop the train from rolling, but you can get off. They will last a teensy bit longer.

Give an eco-friendly gift. Check the registry, but a few switches might make the whole thing way more environmentally-kind. Consider who you are shopping for, but this may be a good choice. Or buying a "giftless" gift, like movie tickets or a gift card for a museum, might be the perfect gift. Get your card from a foundation like the Arbor Day Foundation. Wrap it in something recycled.

Recycle your program. 

Good luck, guesties! If you need some inspiration for gifts, be sure to check out The Made in America and Eco-Friendly Wedding Registry. If you want more general shopping inspiration, try The Giant List of Shopping Lists. 

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