Wedding Wednesday- With These Rings...

The engagement ring is the first big purchase on the way to Marriedville, and no matter which partner does it, it makes for a very daunting buy- what if you pick something they don't like? How can you figure out what he or she would wear everyday of his or her life without giving away the surprise?

The ring's symbolic connection to marriage is a long tradition through multiple cultures- ancient Egyptians were buried wearing rings. That's how far back it goes. In 1477, Archduke Maximilian in Austria gave one of the first recorded diamond engagement rings to his lady Mary of Burgundy (the diamonds in this ring made an "M"- well-played, sir). The diamond supply shot up in the 1860's when they are found in South Africa, and DeBeers owned the vast majority of these mines and diamonds by the 1880's. Tiffany's market's their setting in the 90's, and by the early 20's, the diamond engagement ring is completely ubiquitous and expected. The tradition of the ring was co-opted into something very different, and it made some people a lot of money.

Some people point to wedding rings as particularly old-fashioned, marks of ownership and patriarchy. .Of course, lots of people don't follow this tradition exactly anymore, but even if you forego the engagement ring, shopping for rings is probably going to happen somewhere in the journey to the altar. The engagement ring has come under particular fire for good reason, but you can participate in a way that works for you with a little creativity.


So, we all know that diamonds and jewelry are one of the most environmentally friendly and highly ethical industries out there, right? That's why the term "Blood Diamond" exists- to reference how little blood is shed for diamonds? Isn't that what that movie is about? A lot of hugging? Snow White's dwarves?

Alright, so maybe not. Diamonds and jewelry are notoriously unethical and unsustainable. Not only are those giant honking engagement rings totally unwieldy (how do they not get caught on everything?), they also are epically wasteful. Conflict diamonds (or diamonds mined to fund insurgencies and violence) are shockingly common, and the rush to make money on these gemstones means a lot of diamonds come with an ugly history long before a ring hits a finger.

Debeers has a shocking monopoly on the industry, treats their people disgustingly, and definitely belongs at the table of Nestle's evil capitalist villians. I mean, these guys are actively and intentionally despicable, and if you are buying a new diamond without doing your research, you are most definitely giving them your money.

But you want to propose to your partner or you are shopping for wedding rings- what do you do?

You could just not wear a ring- marriage as ownership is certainly outdated, though I can say I still really like wearing rings with the Boy. I feel like it is a symbol of partnership, like a team jersey, but you can do this a million ways, so do what works for you.

You could go the tattoo route, but that is a dangerous game, my friend. Tattoos tempt fate something awful.

Or, you can buy rings, but go about it differently. A big price tag or a big rock doesn't necessarily mean big success in marriage, so you can go about it a different way. Just last week, Mila Kunis said that she and her husband bought their wedding rings on Etsy for 90 dollars each. I am willing to bet they got them at such a great price because the metal was recycled. Other celebrities are starting to boast engagement rings with alternative stones. I have a hunch non-diamond engagement rings are not only on trend, but on the rise.

The diamond ring set is not the only way to celebrate. Be creative and come up with something meaningful to you.

Want to buy rings in a more ethical and eco-friendly way? Stay out of Kay Jewelers, Jared's, all those mall places that are trying to sell you diamonds at the cheapest possible price. When you prioritize new, easy, and cheap as a consumer, you are inevitably sacrificing ethical making and eco-friendly shipping in the process. But every kiss does not begin with K. And most people could care less if you went to Jared's. Skip that nonsense.

You are way better off buying a more original ring with a smaller diamond (because really, that's a pain in the butt) but a less horrible history. That's an investment worth keeping forever.

So, if you want to buy a ring but steer clear of all the nastiness that comes with it, here are some choices.

1. Get Something Used/ Vintage/ Antique

from Brilliant Earth

If you are going to get a diamond, get a vintage/ antique/ or freaking pawn shop one.Just buy your diamonds used, whatever term you want to attach to it.

 DeBeers still owns a shocking percentage of all the diamonds in the world (so much so that they actually hoard them to create scarcity and protect themselves against their grossly mistreated miners), and the best way to get a diamond without giving them their money is to get them used. Bottom line.

These diamond rings have a reputation for lasting forever (thanks James Bond), but people and marriages don't last forever. So at this point, there are SO many rings already in the world, waiting for a spruce and a new finger to live on. There is so much vintage jewelry in the world. Some of it could be heirlooms in your family or you can find jewelry in most antique stores. Start your search at jewelry stores nearby that have antique or vintage options available, in conversations with your parents, even in the jewelry you might already have.

Buying used means that the jewelry hasn't traveled such a far distance, and you can feel confident that you aren't funding the horrors of the diamond industry by buying a new diamond. Metals can also be recycled, so you can find tons of recycled rings out there. It means something is getting re-used, which is always a more eco-friendly choice than others.

from spring thaw

If you can't find something just browsing stores or old jewelry boxes, Brilliant Earth (we will talk more about them later) has the most drool-worthy vintage rings ever.  Etsy also has a huge collection of antique rings to browse through (you can also narrow the search by putting in "solitaire antique ring" etc). This one from Spring Thaw is from the 1800's, and it could be perfect for someone (though they have some gorgeous solitaires as well). If I had it to do over again, I think I would direct The Boy to these rings, because they feel so special and they are so much more ethical. That being said, if you are patient enough to check local sources first, you might find something for an amazing price as well, and you are supporting your local economy.

2. Go for a Different Stone

Other stones come with other problems, so you still need to do some research, but in general, you will do better for price, ethics, and eco-friendliness if you steer toward something more original. Just skipping the diamond can make any choice a little bit better,

This is one of those eco-friendly choices that is also way better for your pocket and your life. If it doesn't really matter a lot to you (or the person you are proposing to- but be clear on that), you can save the money and put extra hundreds or even thousands of dollars into your honeymoon. That's a big deal, and you will have a ring that most likely doesn't look like anyone else's.

Moissanite

Moissanite was discovered in the 1860's and confused with diamonds, and this gemstone has only been in the jewelry market since 1998. It has that clear glassy look and hard surface of a diamond, but it can be made synthetically so it doesn't require any unethical mining. The patents for making moissanite expired in 2015, so now no single company can create a monopoly on it in the United States. This stone is one of your most ethical and eco-friendly choices, and it basically looks like diamonds. Very cool (and affordable) option and it's common enough that you can pick from 13,000 American-made options just on Etsy for this gemstone. Here are three-

from Laura Morgenson

I love a more minimalist piece of jewelry, because it goes with everything (and you are wearing that sucker for the rest of your life). Laura Morgenson sells minimalist engagement rings with moissanite that are only 150-250 dollars. So cheap, so brilliant.

from barzahav

On the total other end of the spectrum, sometimes your partner is just the kind of person who wants some serious wow factor. This ring, if made with diamonds, would be 10,000 dollars at least. With moissanite, you can get something like this from barzahav for 1,300. That's 8,700 dollars difference (twice the cost of the average honeymoon).

from lamore designs

Lastly, even though this gemstone is new, you could buy something with a definite vintage feel like the rings from lamore designs. So pretty and feminine.

Sapphire

If a used alternative gemstone ring was good enough for Princess Kate, what the heck are the rest of us doing? When you look at the sapphire rings out there, it is impossible not to feel awed and inspired. Here are a couple good ones, but GO BROWSE!

from Alea Marie Co

For your best impression of a British royal. I do love that Alea Marie Co makes their sapphires instead of mining them, and they look like the kind of ring a girl would dream of.

from Engaged with Diamonds

This antique ring from Engaged with Diamonds combines diamonds and sapphires in such a unique way. Never thought I'd like something like this, but the ring is winning me over big time.

from okimodo

My favorite of all the sapphires I have seen has to be this peach one from okimodo. I love everything about this ring.

from S Kimd Co

Ahhh! Maybe it is a tie with this S Kind Co engagement ring. I love the color, and it looks timeless and right now at the same time (try this teal one too or this one from Trudy's Gems),

Citrine

from Just Vintage 4 U

Citrine isn't a very common gemstone to go with, but this ring from Just vintage 4 U (horrible name) makes a strong argument for using something a little stranger. Really pretty, bright, and crazy affordable. For a couple who really cares less about material things.

Pearl

This always looks amazing to me, but I do think you should think twice before going this route. Diamond hardness is rated at a ten. Pearls can be as low as three, so they damage much more easily. You have to know the delicacy and lifestyle of the wearer before taking this leap.

from Lux Crown

Lux Crown is a great store for both vintage and gemstone rings. I love so many of their rings, including this beauty. Their pearl rings are only 250 dollars, and they are all absolutely beautiful.They have some beautiful opal, aquamarine, and amethyst numbers as well.

from Belmar Jewelers

This vintage pearl and diamond ring from Belmar Jewelers looks completely timeless and memorable to me. This one from DeKara's Diamonds has a similar look.

Amethyst

from Lux Crown

This ring from Lux Crown really shows off the purple color- it's a high impact ring for 250 dollars.

Emerald 

Emeralds also have a little bit of a mixed reputation for something worn daily because they can crack. On the other hand, that emerald green is classic, timeless, and incredibly memorable. They are pretty popular right now, and for good reason. You should get extra insurance on it if you go this route.

from Valerie K Studio

Valerie K Studio combines a straight lined, almost preppy stone with an organic vine band. I wouldn't expect it to work, but it really does. I don't actually remember people's engagement rings often, but I sure would remember this.

from Rare Earth

Holy Moly, this ring is amazing. Would be classy and unique forever, and every gemstone and diamond is conflict-free. I also love that Rare Earth will make a setting for a stone you already have, so if you have an heirloom ring with a great stone that otherwise isn't quite the style you want, you could take an old gem and turn it into something as gorgeous as this.

Diamond Substitutes

from Tiger Gemstones

Diamond "Simulants" may have a stigma, but guess what? No one can tell the difference, you save a bunch of money (go on a trip instead), and you can feel confident that no one lost their life procuring your diamond. Tiger Gemstones specializes in these kind of rings, and they might be good to partner with a diamond engagement ring if you have a particular idea or don't want to track down antique diamond rings twice.

I also love these rings from Life Spirals, which basically sells vintage fake diamonds. It's a good reminder that diamonds have never been an absolute must (we just put that pressure on ourselves.

This is, of course, just the tip of the iceberg (rubies, aquamarine, opal, etc) so if you have a gemstone in mind, start searching on Etsy to see what is out there! Avoiding diamonds will save you so much money while getting you incredible bang for your buck. At the same time, you are making one of the greenest choices you can as a couple, so you can feel so good about the choice. 

3. Try Brilliant Earth

Brilliant Earth began as a response to the extreme abuse in the diamond industry, and their mission is to make the jewelry industry more transparent, sustainable, and ethical. They use responsible mining practices and don't use child labor (oh yeah, that's a thing in the diamond industry too- nice, DeBeers). They also donate 5% of their profits back to communities that had been ravaged by the diamond industry. This includes restoring lands for agricultural use after the mining destroyed usable land.

As a side note, Brilliant Earth's rings are gorgeous. My favorites are the vintage, but there are so many beautiful things. Some feature non-diamond stones as well, so you can save money and have a more original ring if that is your style. Be sure to browse around the website and see what you find. You can also create your own diamond ring, which I think many people would see as a very sweet gesture.

Lastly, they do have wedding bands as well, so check there before you buy something else. These rings aren't going to be your most cost-effective choice (hello, check Etsy, people!) but you can feel like the ring you are purchasing is at least doing a little good in the world instead of quite a bit of evil.

4, If you haven't yet, fall in love with Etsy

Etsy has about 20,000 options for American-made or antique rings, and I swear I looked through half of that. They are fantastic. You can purchase your rings from the person who made it. If we could do it again, we would be wearing Etsy rings.You can support an American artisan, get rings made from recycled metal, potentially save a lot of money, and wear something no one else in the world has. Plus, you would feel as cool as Mila Kunis, so that is nice. There are so many to go through, and I honestly don't think I can do it justice, but I will just point to a (BIG) handful of my favorites. If you are buying rings, engagement or marriage or anniversary or just to keep your finger warm, you need to browse through here.

For an Engagement Ring- 

from S Kind Co

S Kind Co is my favorite find for engagement rings on Etsy. These rings perfectly ride the line between modern and traditional, feminine and simple. And they are crazy eco-friendly, but no one would guess unless you wanted to tell them. The company uses recycled settings, metals, and gems, and where they fill in with something new, they use moissanite. By re-pairing the old cuts with recycled settings, things look modern while being loaded with history. They also have a great mix of recycled diamonds and moissanite gems, so you can go with the eco-friendly option that works for you. Someone buy this one, because it is the prettiest thing ever.

from Engaged with Diamonds

Engaged with Diamonds is based out of San Francisco, and they have some of the most original and just cool rings I have ever seen. This ring reminds me of a string knotted around a finger, and I just love it.

from Estate Diamond Jewelry

Estate Diamond Jewelry sells some of the most beautiful rings you have ever seen in your life. They are also crazy expensive. I only found a couple under 10,000 dollars (this one is 5,800), so I think this is way out of most of our shopping ranges. On the other hand, if you are a fancypants looking to be eco-friendly, these antique and estate diamonds will be right up your beautiful alley. Need to look at more super snazzy rings that cost more than your car? Check out Antique Jewelry NYC.

from Ferguson's Fine Jewelry

Ferguson's Fine Jewelry sells all sorts of vintage engagement rings, wedding bands, and diamonds from earlier eras, Victorian, Edwardian, Art Deco, and Mid-Century. Lots look surprisingly modern, and you can find ones with alternate gemstones as well. Most are very simple and low-priced as well.

from Art Deco Diamonds

Art Deco Diamonds has one of the largest collections of rings I have seen on Etsy. They have lots of vintage and antique rings, and so many look almost like a traditional contemporary ring, but a little more detailed and a little more special. This is a good one to look at if your partner likes that deco style. For similarly unique rings, check Alistir Wood Tait- they are based out of the UK, so not perfect, but they curate some gorgeous antique rings (I especially love some of their other gemstones)!

from Wilson Brothers

If you are buying rings online, you probably want someone well-vetted. Wilson Brothers has over 2000 rings and over 2000 positive reviews already. With that much, you know you will see some variety so you have lots to choose from.

from Janish Jewels

Janish Jewels out of New York City sells rings with all kinds of alternative gems and conflict-free raw diamonds for rings unlike anything I have ever seen before. The lines are organic and unique, and I want to know the cool ladies who wear engagement rings like these. So different and so beautiful, but it definitely takes some originality to go this route.

from Shop Clementine

I can't finish this section without pointing to one more amazing shop- Shop Clementine. This jeweler, based out of Massachusets makes rings cooler than everything I own combined. Most have a minimalist aesthetic, but a slightly quirky one, and I love the subtlety of even the engagement rings- not everyone has to try to be like J Lo (that lady has knows gargantuan rings... also, divorce). You can also find lots of beautiful alternative gems. They use recycled metal, conflict-free stones, and they do wedding bands as well.

For Wedding Rings-

from Natural Ezanica

If you like wearing your nature-loving heart on your finger (or you just love the look of wood over metal, these rings from Natural Ezanica will be unique and perfect. They make me think of a minimalist wedding in Big Sur or a Hawaiian beach, Plus, the rose gold and other metals is recycled! This store has 600+ positive reviews as well, and they seem to be especially popular for grooms (it makes sense- they do have a masculine look).

from Brightsmith

Brightsmith from Austin, Texas sells woodgrain sets. But totally different from the last store- metal with an organic texture and aesthetic. I especially love the combination of thicker bark rings and the more delicate twig bands This store has more minimalist hammered bands, and they also have a whole "weddings on a budget" folder. The overall feel is rustic minimalist.

from Peaces of Indigo

Peaces of Indigo, from Nashivlle, sells some of my favorite wedding bands ever- these rings are made out of antique silver she has reworked and engraved to make patterned wedding bands. Not as minimal as most of what is popular now, but I love the bohemian feel, like you made the rings yourself out of your Grandma's silver. Just incredibly cool, and she has about 1600 glowing reviews, so you know they look even better in person.

from Mountain Ursus Designs

Want to outdo Mila Kunis? These rings from Mountain Ursus Designs are 27 dollars and made of all recycled copper. I kind of imagine Ron Swanson made them, because they are so straightforward, but copper is such a pretty color. No environmental impact beyond the shipping, and not all that much impact on your wallet either.

from Lilly Emme Jewelry

Looking for something sleek and traditional? Lilly Emme Jewelry from Seattle has wedding sets that match and look both pretty and simple, but they still seem special and kind of sweet. They are also made of recycled metals, so that is awesome.

from Aide Memoir

Aide Memoir sells rings made of 100% recycled metal and conflict-free gemstones, but you would never guess they were any different from any other wedding bands on the market. Minimal and pretty, plus the company sends money off to groups fighting for ethical mining. I love the alternatives they have for both genders, and nothing feels overly feminine or butch. They are also one of the only stores I have seen selling sets specifically for same sex couples, which seems like it should be way more common. Effortless and classic. Sweet Olive Jewelry also sells thin and minimal wedding rings for women. They are made using recycled materials, and they look absolutely beautiful. Nothing fussy and under a hundred dollars, but it might just be perfect.

from VK Eco Jewelry

VK Eco Jewelry makes their jewelry using eco-friendly methods and recycled materials out of Portland, Oregon. Most of their designs are simple and unfussy, but also have a really appealing softness.

Want a recycled ring but didn't find quite what you are looking for? I have a few more places for you to look- Sea Babe Jewelry, 2 Trick Pony, Tiny Sparkle Studio, Metal Wendler, okomido (also great for engagement rings), Torchfire Studio, Silver Smack, Lolide, esdesigns, The Sly Fox (love this store), Melissa Tyson Designs, and metaliscious.

5. Try Another Eco-Friendly Jeweler

Forget "alternative." Jewelers that take a more responsible approach to their work are so easy to find. And start local- ou may be surprised. Maybe because this is a field dominated by artists, you can find tons of creative and thoughtful solutions to the problems jewelry creates for the environment. You might find something right in yoru neighborhood. Maybe you won't be able to afford it, but you just might be surprised. It doesn't hurt to look. A few options I found (very quickly no less, though there is definitely a wide range of price points here); Ken and Dana Design, Monique Pean, Bashford Jewelry (more affordable), Leber Jewelry's Earthwise Collection, DoAmore Rings (part of a clean water initiative),

This is a lot right? And the waking of a certain toddler is cutting me off, so I will add even more later. Stay out of mall jewelry stores or places that aren't outspoken about the ethics of their diamonds' mining. It's a big deal, and you don't need that blood on your hands when you are walking down the aisle. Plus, you can save money, save fossil fuels, even reuse metal or gems this way- so your bands for life can do a whole lot of good!

And check out previous Wedding Wednesdays for more ways to make your wedding better for the world around you!

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Throwback Thursday- 40 Quick and Easy Switches for Earth Day

I updated this slightly, because I originally wrote it with the threat of a dead battery looming (brought the wrong cord on a trip- oops!). All the links should work now. 

Today I was so encouraged to see tons of Earth Day posts and calls to treat the environment more kindly! Amen and Truth! The problem? It can be kind of vague- pictures of plants or watering cans, mentions of Leonardo DiCaprio, etc. That certainly has it's place, but it isn't all that specific, and I find specific goals make a lot more traction than abstractions.

This list isn't perscriptive; it is just a starting point for your own ideas and brainstorming. I started this blog because

1. The problems felt so big that there didn't seem to be a good place to start. The more I research, the more this feels like the opposite of the truth, because almost every decision we make in our daily lives can make a positive difference!

2. The resources for more eco-friendly living and shopping seemed scattered or overly radical, and in the end, if we all do a little, it can do just as much as one person doing a lot. So I want you to feel validated and empowered to keep trying, not to feel discouraged that you aren't doing every thing you could. Maybe someday, but trying now matters.

So here are 50 goals you could set to help clean up this world.  Pick 1. Feeling ambitions? Pick two. Take on choices you can sustain and let it grow!

1. Skip the plastic straw- The worst kind of trash that pollutes the water and hurts the sea life in it. They are also completely unnecessary if you aren't a toddler. Just say "No straws, please" when you are ordering your drink.

2. Get Less, Get it Used, Get it Local- Just buy less. So simple, but we all have way more stuff than we need! Yes that toy looks great- don't buy it. Yes, that top is on sale- don't buy it. Just buy less. And when you do need something, try to find it used. If you can't, find it as locally (or made in the US) as possible. You can do it- choices are available! We waste excessive, massive fuel and energy shipping stuff, most of which we don't need.

3. Go Plant Something- Cleaner air and water, better climate. Plant that herb garden you think about. Volunteer and plant a tree in a park. Nowhere to plant? Skip one meal out and donate the money to the Arbor Day Fountain or Plant a Billion Trees.

4.Small is the New Big. Less is the New More- We get the message over and over that we need the newest, biggest, best thing or we won't be happy. But who says? Change your ambitions about stuff- change the world. Pick one thing you are sure needs replaced and ask how you can make what you already have work.

5. Be Eco-Lazy- Don't run the dishwasher or laundry machine until it is totally full. It's not procrastination- it saves energy and water!

we got this table on buy nothing for free! 

6. Join a Buy Nothing or other Local Sharing Group- Buy Nothing Project builds hyper-local communities by creating a venue where people can ask for what they need or offer what they already have, 4 babies other than our own have used our Rock n' Play. That's 4 fewer sold and 4 fewer in the landfill later. I also know ten times as many of my neighbors as I would without it. Buy Nothing is the bomb, and if your neighborhood doesn't have one, take the leap and start one.

7. Recycled Plastic- They say ours is the "plastic generation" and that by 2050, there will be more plastic in the ocean than fish. Don't add more. You can find many plastic items, from toys to watering cans to pens out of recycled plastic, so don't settle.

8. Collect Water- You can go big and get a rain barrel to catch rainwater, or you can go much smaller and put a bucket in your shower for while our water warms up. Either way, you can water your plants completely with water that would have otherwise gone to waste.

9. Shop the Outside Edge of the Grocery Store- The healthiest and most eco-friendly (see: way less packaging!) food all lives on the outside of your store, where they can keep things cool and not frozen. Healthier than Healthy Choice? Fresh vegetables. Healthier and way less wasteful than the devil's baby snack pouches? An orange.

10. Carpool, Even Once a Week- Do you have public transit nearby? Can you walk to what you need? It may seem silly in less populous areas, but even when you aren't saving time with a carpool lane, you still keep that much less junk out of the air, even if you only do it occasionally.

11. Never Just Throw Away What You Would Buy- If you will spend money on tupperware, why just throw away those plastic yogurt containers? They are the same thing! Why buy cleaning cloths if your used up clothes and towels make perfectly good rags? Try to make the most of what you already have.

12. Quit Impulse Buys- You see it and want to buy it? Don't. It sounds easy, but I know it sometimes isn't. Instead, start a shopping list. When you see something you need "hey, we could use that fan!" put it on the list. You can easily check to see if there are recycled plastic ones (yes, there are) or made in America ones (yep, those too) available. You can also go to your local thrift shops and check there! A better choice is out there if you slow your roll. If an object sits on the list long enough, you know you probably didn't need it- time to move on.

13. Use a Smaller Garbage Can- It sounds crazy, but you throw out less if it accumulates quickly. Sometimes those huge cans make us numb to just how much we toss. What to do with the old can? Make it your recycling! You'll be amazed at how it makes you rethink your garbage strategies.

14. Bring Your Mug to Coffee- Buy a travel mug. Even better, buy an adorable, Made in America travel mug. Then stop getting those little coffee cups that are one time use instant garbage. Most places will put that coffee in your mug, and you could be saving hundreds of pieces of garbage from the landfill a year (depending on the severity of your addiction).

15. Make a List- When you leave to shop, even for groceries, have a plan in mind. This is not my strong suit, but my method of shopping ("hey, this scallop looks good! Hey I think I tried these cookies once!") makes for lots of extra waste.

16. Hello, Vintage- Fast fashion is on its way out. The perfect place to start your clothes shopping is in consignment or vintage stores. Check out Refashionista- you can do a lot with old clothes!

17. Buy Recycled Paper Towels- Why should trees come down for your messes? Try something like Seventh Generation's recycled paper towels instead, and cut down the number of trees that have to be cut down! Need more recycled paper inspiration? Check here.

18. Refurbish Old, Used Furniture- Why does anyone buy a new wood table? You can find tons of them just waiting for a new life. Beautiful, built to last way longer than the Target junk, and it often costs way less. Need a simpler goal? Slipcovers instead of a new couch.

19. Recycle- Seems obvious, but not everyone is doing it. Not available right where you live? Time to check out what your options are.

20. Switch Your Lightbulbs- This blog from Christmas looks into what would be most energy efficient and safe for lightbulbs. Worth it to make the switch.



21. Reusable Water Bottles- Remember when people thought it was a really good idea to build houses out of asbestos? I am certain that's how we will feel avout plastic water bottles- you pay for something you can get for free, so almost cartoonishly evil companies like Nestle (I kid you not, they are really that bad) can steal it, pit it in toxic and wasteful containers, and sell them to the public. Buy one water bottle to hold all your water and kiss one time use plastic bottles off forever.

22.No More Palm Oil- Horrible for the rainforests and our planet's biodiversity, but apparently great for shampoo, because it is in so many of them. Look out for palm oil and help contain the ripping down of the rainforest.

23. Use Natural Light- Don't turn on the lights unless you actually need to. Simple and pretty!

24. Use Reusable Bags! Plastic grocery bags make no sense and create so much of that waste our children and grandchildren will be desperate to get out of the water. Animals are mistaking them for food, and they keep finding washed up whales and other animals with stomachs full of plastic bags. Is the convenience worth it? I don't think so. End the cycle now and get reusable bags. If you forget them (I get it, we all have our days) opt for paper. But no more plastic bags.

25. Skip the Plastic Produce Bags- While we are at it, you are going to wash those asparagus anyway, so just keep one reusable bag open for all of your produce (the one exception might be jalapeno), and wash it all when you get home. I promise your oranges won't get their taste on your apples. Those little plastic bags are ridiculous. If you do want to separately bag your produce, you could use something like these.

26. Stop Your Unwanted Mail- You can do this! Lots of sites and numbers will help put a stop to all of that junkmail, and that's good for your sanity and your household's overall use of paper. Save the Earth, stick it to Oriental Traders, kind of makes sense.

27. No More "Made in China"- Could you go a week without buying anything made overseas? How about a year? Try taking the challenge or at least cut down! Made in China feels inevitable, but it rarely is, and it wastes resources, almost guarantees mistreated workers, and is not so great for our economy. You should get to travel all over the world; your stuff should be from nearby.

28. Cut Down on Your Meat- Meat, especially beef, is responsible for a shocking amount of our water and energy consumption as a country. I would never ask you to give up your hamburgers (The Boy might leave me) but maybe only once a month? Once a week? The less red meat we eat, the better we will feel, so it is a big bonus for you as well.

29. Don't Toss It- Donate It!- Just because it is junk to you doesn't mean it is to someone else! Faded toys, pilled clothes, janky old furniture- they might be just the ticket for someone else. Set a really wide net for what counts as part of your donate pile.

30. Buy One More Food Item Locally- Even better if it is something fresh and seasonal. But much like our stuff, our food is traveling way too far. Every mile it goes, someone takes it there, so whatever you can find made nearby is much better for the environment. Sometimes easier said than done, but you might by surprised at your find and you can definitely save local jobs!

31. No More Dryer Sheets- Use the 1000 times over reusable dryer balls instead. If you have toddlers, they can thank me later.

32. Switch (even partially) to Cloth Diapers- If you do one cloth diaper a day, you will save 365 diapers in a year. Multiple that by the number of years in the diaper, and you have saved 1000 diapers from going to a landfill.

33. Cloth Napkins and Washclothes-Cut down on those paper products that work just as well in a cloth version. We use them pretty regularly at our house, but still have recycled paper napkins for company as well.

34. Write one Business a Letter- Noticed a company, restaurant, store, or business not really up to enbironmental schedules. Stand your ground and let companies know what they are doing isn't right and needs to be addressed. The more they get the feedback that you are paying attention .

35. Turn Your Computer Off at Night-One of the one's I am going to start trying. It sucks energy, you should just turn it off.

36. Pick a Environmental Organization and Donate Something- Can't afford it? Sign up for their mailing list and sign their petitions.They can use your signature as well as your money.

from factcoexist.com

37. Think about How Far your Stuff Travels- Have you seen those maps that chart all the trips someone has taken in a year? Imagine that, but with every item you buy in a year. What would the map look like? Never thought about it? Check out this link.

38. Go meet your neighbors- Fostering community is good for your life, good for everyone around you, and good for the environment. The more we feel we belong to this world, the more likely we are to get involved.

39.Change your Toothbrush- No more plastic toothbrushes! Those plastic brushes are bound for the garbage as soon as you take them out of their excessive public packaging, they are already waiting for the bin. I love Preserve's recycled brushes and Tiny Yellow Bungalow's bamboo option. Simple switch, huge difference! Especially if you stick with it!

40. Travel Sustainably- Bring your own shampoo and conditioner, so you can skip those stupid tiny bottles. Buy all of your souvenirs made in the place you are at. This can be crazy to find, but I am sure you can handle it. I have faith in you.

Is this all common sense stuff? Yes, but it doesn't mean we are doing it! No one can do everything, but everyone can do something. For Earth Day, let's all admit we can do more and pick one more goal to clean this Earth up! And what a wonderful Earth it is!

Want to step up your eco-shoppung? Check out my Mega list of Lists for tons more shopping inspiration.

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Throwback Thursday- 10 Things I've Learned in Two Years of Watching my Amazing Aunt Fight Cancer

from www.cwc4women.com

September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month, and when I started poking around looking for resources to send people to, I was shocked just how sparse and often negative the personal writing around Ovarian and Metastatic cancers is. Breast cancer has the market cornered in a way I don't think is necessarily useful to everyone.

 My Aunt Ann, who I have mentioned many times here, has been living with cancer at different levels since they first found a tumor in her abdomen over two years ago. A lot has happened since then, and I have been struck again and again by how much of it has been positive, how continuously inspiring she is, and how much I have learned from her as she has fought through it. When someone says "cancer" a number of really dark associations immediately pop up, and for good reason, but I want to put it out there that strange goodness comes out of it as well (talk about grace).

I also want to put the disclaimer here that even though Aunt Ann is on my heart and in my prayers everyday, I am not in the first circle of support to her in Tennessee. I consider my role to be a support to my cousin and my mother who are really on the front lines and to be a fresh breathe of air when I can tell any of them need it. Part of this means that when those dark moments have come, I usually hear about the secondhand, especially through the emotion of my mother, and I show up later. Until they get a teleporter, I won't be able to be there as soon as I would like to be. I think being present for those moments would change what I am writing here, but maybe not as much as I would have expected in the beginning. I want to write about this because these things do run so deeply that you feel really exposed, vulnerable, and flippant trying to talk about it.But like so many things like that, hearing other people's experiences can be really encouraging.

So if you have someone you love going through it, feel free to add to my list of things learned/ worth feeling good about. God is strange and wonderful in his ways, and I will never ever be able to say I don't believe in miracles after seeing how much joy can thrive in our family in the face of something so ugly. So with no further ado-

10. Cancer is Just a Jerk- The disease is just the jerkiest disease ever, and Ovarian Cancer is particularly nasty because by the time they find it, it has made itself comfy all through you, like sand in your swimsuit on a beach day. Cancer is sneaky, twisty, and seems to know how to kick you when you are already down. Chemo, and this is perhaps said less often, is also a huge jerk. It gets talked about like a hero, but it's like sending a bully to fight another bully, but they both treat you really badly. You just have to maintain a positive attitude and hope they cancel each other out. Also, every experience with chemo is different, from person to person and chemo to chemo. Just because you have gone through it or seen someone you love go through it doesn't mean you are an expert, or that you can predict another person's experience at all.  Aunt Ann has gone through a number of different chemotherapies, and most of them have had really different effects on her. So if you are going through it, just know that one chemo won't behave like the next one.

9. Everybody has a role to play, and all the roles matter- I basically imagine Aunt Ann being at the center of a target with people occupying different supportive roles in each circle. She has Rob at the center, and Shelly and my Mom probably in that second rung. Some people are further from her, but their consistency of support has made a huge difference. We all have differing levels of closeness and differing relationships with her, but they are all important. It never stops being surprising to just see how far a card can go for lifting her spirit, and she has shed tears to me multiple times talking about mail and care packages she has received. That larger circle, where people really are further away, still makes a huge difference, so I really encourage you to send your loved one with cancer something little. It can be easy to forget, especially when they have been fighting for a long time, but that means they need more support, not less! I know I could always be doing better with this. All kinds of support really do make a difference, and those people right at the center of her support target need loved on too!

8. If you are living with cancer, you are still living, you are still you, and you still have a life- I think this is one I really didn't understand before.When you imagine a very serious cancer, you imagine someone frail in the hospital bed and life coming to a screeching halt. Those days have happened, to be sure, but it is also moving to see the many ways Aunt Ann's life keeps developping forward! It definitely doesn't look like it did before, and I know that is a struggle, but she still does things with her girlfriends. And she is a grandma (Gigi) now! And she still has a great laugh. And she still is just her so you don't even think to say "still." Cancer, I am pretty sure I mentioned this, is a big old jerk, but even if it has slowed her down, it is beautiful and encouraging to see all the ways that it hasn't kept her from living (also, thank goodness these things keep getting better, so she can just go home).

7. Just How Much Family and Love is an Action (And One you just have to Keep Doing)- My mother, in my opinion, is a badass, always late, crazy busy angel of a woman, and I think I have never felt more inspired by her efforts to be a devoted sister than in the last 2 years. She is so committed to her sister, even when she is not there, and Ann is the same to her. If I can't get a hold of Janet (not an uncommon occurrence), I know I can ask Aunt Ann, and she will know what is up. After 50 years of sisterhood, these two women still put the time and effort in to keep their relationship vibrant, changing, and alive. I love that, and I can see that they BOTH need it as my aunt keeps on this fight. My Mom (and her EPIC frequent flyer miles) show me that closeness is about priorities, that love is an action, and that commenting isn't caring (showing up is).

Last Thanksgiving, (nearly) our whole family came together to celebrate and it was an embarrassing gratitude weepfest for all involved. The Moffitt-Guth family is a big strange hybrid octopus of a thing, where we probably won't ALL be in the same room, where lots of people aren't related by blood, and where multiple health issues chip away at our collective mobility. But we are still growing and alive because people take care of the bonds they have and try to keep in touch. And people have stepped it up in some ways in the past few years, I think partially because Ann's illness served as a reminder that this time matters and those bonds matter. Some things cost money, but thoughtful emails and phone calls and skyping don't. Currently, nothing in the world drives me crazier than seeing other sides of my family crown themselves as finished, on to a new phase, mourning the good old days, etc, when staying together is still so damn easy, because everyone is healthy, mobile, and not all that spread out. Everyone has their priorities, and that is fine, but don't think you are kidding anyone by covering up with excuses. If Ann can still be a great sister, daughter, aunt, and mother, then I think we can all step up our game. Family is a thing you just have to keep working at, and the strength, love, and mutual support of my mom and aunt's relationship continually inspires me to keep putting that work in.

6. The Power of Prayer- I believed in prayer before, but now I can really see the awesome power of directed and intentional prayer. I see how the prayer really lifted her spirits and how her name spread around spiritual communities to give her support. I feel that people can really feel when they are being prayed for, and I believe that God has answered a lot of prayers in this situation (not always in the ways we expect, but that seems to be His MO). I feel like this is one of those statements that can be sticky, because so many cancer patients see less positive outcomes (as they have before in our family), but I believe God has provided a lot of healing, hope, and positivity for Ann, and I am super grateful for that.

5. An individual can do really hard things when the situation calls for it- This may seem like a no-brainer, but think about it. How does someone get through waking up from surgery to find out they have cancer? Or how do they bounce back from surgery when they have even more chemo to look forward to? How does someone keep showing up for chemo after 2 years of that miserable junk? She just does it. And this is the sweetest woman with the softest heart, but she finds that strength time after time. She gets less credit than she deserves, because it takes so much courage and power to face what she faces. Total badass. It has taught me that even when things look impossible or insurmountable, if it's what you have to do, you do it.

4. B Level Blessings really Teach Gratitude- This is my theory: we all have tons of blessings we don't notice (and in fact often pick at) like our jobs, our close relationships, and most of all our healthy bodies. Then, when you take one of these things, especially a healthy body, completely away, you suddenly become WAY more appreciative of the smaller blessings that make up for it. For example, I don't know how many times I have cheered on the phone because my Aunt's weight went up over 100 pounds. Or been totally elated that she has better CA-125 numbers, not even good ones, just that number going down. That momentum toward getting something that the rest of us take for granted creates ridiculous gratitude and excitement. Now why don't the rest of us feel elated that we have the privilege of wanting to lose weight or that we don't have to worry about our health in a way that dominates our life and time? Those B Level blessings, when what we take for granted is taken away, are so incredibly precious and valuable, and that gratitude can change everyone's life.

3. Today is a miracle, so there is no reason to think tomorrow won't be a miracle too-I say this one to my Mom every time she is having a down or scared moment, but I really believe it. When you first hear this diagnosis, or people start talking Ovarian cancer, you will hear statistics and stories. They are likely to not be encouraging. Not encouraging AT ALL. People around you (and around the closest family members) will say really dumb, unhelpful, and discouraging things even if their heart is in the right place. When that A Level blessing (which is an illusion anyway) of unlimited time gets taken away, you realize just how precious each day is. You can see where she is defeating odds and taking names. And you know she didn't do it by herself, but with God's help. I believe in remission for my Aunt, because time and time again, things have turned around, they have gotten better, and those odds have not applied. We can't expect God to give us infinite time here on Earth, that's not the deal, but we can appreciate that every day, despite being pretty vulnerable little things, we keep going and have the chance to do better. Aunt Ann is living proof of God's miracles every day, good or bad, and I think it's good to remember that is actually true of all of us.

2. About the True Nature of Sickness (It's a Marathon, not a Sprint)- I read somewhere early on that we think of Cancer as a shock to the system, but it actually is like constant waves against a shore. It keeps moving and changing over time, and its effects are cumulative. My aunt has been so wise to fight for time to emotionally and physically heal throughout her treatment, but this would be my advice to anyone who has a loved one going through it- this isn't going to take a few weeks, or even a few months, it might be years before you get that good news, so take care of yourself too. Succumbing to panic or feeling frustration that things aren't happening fast enough will only work against you, so take breaks when you need them but be sure to keep coming back. That person who is fighting is on a long road, so if you can help carry them or lift their spirits even for a while, you will make a world of difference.

1.The Insane, Miraculous, Amazing Power of Simply Staying Positive (and Having Faith)-  Aunt Ann is ridiculously good to sticking to her priorities, taking it a day at a time, and at being positive. Does she have her days? Hell yes, wouldn't you? But overall, she seems cheerful, grateful, and prayerful. She is also often making plans for the future, which I think is awesome. She has missed a couple of things because of being sick, but I always think about her plans for the future or for other cool things we have to look forward to (Thanksgiving and first birthdays next year in Tennessee? Group trip to Hawaii someday? etc). There have been times where she has made my mother crazy because Janet would be so much more aggressive or fiesty about things, but Ann's calm and positive attitude has served her so well through this whole thing.

You don't have to lie when things suck, but wallowing never helped anyone either, and she is a master at the mental game that comes with this disease. Be positive and focus on the things you love. That is what Aunt Ann has taught me through this, and I have so much love and admiration for her.

So that is what I have noticed, good and bad, about taking on cancer from watching her experiences- who out there has also supported a loved one through cancer? What did you learn? Or if you have cancer, how can people better back you up through it?

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