Thoughts on Fainting

At some point, probably around my 11th grade blood drive, I started passing out from time to time. I would like to blame it on needles, but there have been many shots that have turned out just fine. Today, I had yet another one of these lovely little moments, and this is the first time I ever did it in front of the Boy. He was sitting a nurse cubicle away, and when I woke up he was right there with 2 other nurses and another doctorish guy with phlegm in the title (??). It scared him enough that I got a milkshake AND a cookie over it!

Fainting as a process is really odd, because by the time you realize it is happening, it is basically over. At least for me, I start to feel heavy and light-headed at the same time. Then, my hearing starts to get tunnel-y. I think the tunnel thing is the best metaphor, but its a tunnel where you never notice the walls coming in until after it is all over. My thoughts get louder and suddenly I am really really sure I need water. This is my real problem, because it never fails I try to find some and this is when I pass out, usually on hard bathroom or kitchen surfaces.

There is some transition between that part and the actual passing out that i have no consciousness of and never remember. Then I dream something that is really wonderful and pleasant. I never remember these dreams long after I wake up, but I always wake up feeling happy and slightly annoyed I am back. I don't know why, but I find this part of fainting really comforting. The part everyone worries about actually feels like a relief. I kind of imagine that's what death feels like (the Boy HATES when I say that, but it is always on my mind on days like these).

So the fainting part is actually not bad at all, but the waking up part is the worst because everyone fusses over you. Today was especially bad because they kept checking my blood pressure and made me lay on the floor with my legs up in a dress. I at least had the presence of mind to pray no one from the Boy's job came in, or I'd embarrass him. I just feel guilty because all these people are running around fetching me things and checking my skin color (it's really alright people, I am truly always this pale), when they could just keep checking Microsoft employees and getting on with their day. The program is basically the same whether I am alone or not- you lay there until you feel good enough to get up. Then, you hopefully don't puke. Then you lay around the rest of the day, musing on why exactly you do this in the first place, which is about where i am now.

I kind of think I am just squeamish. The doctors today thought I was maybe anemic and the phlegm guy was concerned I was starting a seizure, but he was just pushing it to the limit. Some mix of anemic (since I don't eat nuts or most red meat) and dehydrated/ squeamish sounds like the answer to me. But I promised Dr. Phlegm that I would get a doctor's appointment to actually check it out, so why not?

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3 Things I Love Today- Bachelorette Pottery, Pedometers, and Chrissy Teigen

 

1. All the pottery from my Bachelorette party! Melissa posted it today and I think it all turned out so cute!

2. My new pedometer- Ok, so I am hoping this serves the same purpose as livestrong did, where I become at least a little more aware of my activity levels. So far it seems to be working. At first, I thought you were only supposed to get 5000 steps a day in, and I felt like a real badass. Still, I am doing alright!

3. Chrissy Teigen- Ok, so this is technically from yesterday, but Chrissy Teigen and Joanna Garcia were on Watch What Happens Live yesterday, and Chrissy Teigen was hilarious and super weird in the most awesome, "Man Girls that Pretty shouldn't also be This Cool" way. She kept shouting to people off screen as if she really forgot she was on a television show. She just seemed like a huge, insanely good-looking dork. She also plugged her blog, which I looked at today, and I think it would be really entertaining if I cared at all about cooking.

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Thoughts on the Walk to End Alzheimer's.

Last Saturday, we woke up at the crack of dawn (seriously WAY too early) to take the train to San Francisco and participate in the Walk to End Alzheimers. I learned about the walk while I was researching charities for our dollar dance, and I thought it might be a cool first goal in our marriage. As I said in an earlier post, The Boy's grandpa passed away last year after suffering from Alzheimers for years, and after experiencing it firsthand, I truly think it is one of the hardest diseases for everyone involved. Alzheimer's has also increased statistically much more than population growth, so it is definitely worth people's attention.

 

So anyway, we got on the train and headed in. Both Mom and The Boy slept on the train on the way there. 

I've done a number of these sort of fundraiser things, but I think have done Relay for Life the most (3 or 4 times). We seriously had no idea what to expect- we knew that the whole thing didn't last that long, about an hour, and the walk was 3 miles long with a 1 and a half mile shortcut. 

First, the walk to the Mission Creek Park was short and easy, and you could hear the music as you got close. The whole event was huge, there had to be hundreds of people walking, but everything was well-organized so it went quickly and we never got cramped. 

 

One of the neatest things they did was give everyone participating the chance to carry these flower fans. They had 4 different colors representing your reasons for walking (Orange is you know someone with it, Yellow is you are concerned in general, etc). We all got purple flowers in honor of Grandpa Shiley. It seemed like a little thing, but I teared up while The Boy made his:

 

How sweet is that!? It was nice to be able to visually represent our motivations (and remember in that way. 

 

The welcome area also had some play stuff for kids, t-shirts, and a stage that had a band and speakers. They also had an area where Elderly homes and Bay Area Alzheimer services could hand out swag and schlep for themselves. My Mom goes to lots of conferences, so she feels pretty guilt-free about collecting swag. The humor in all of this is that we collected all of this stuff, and then we had to carry it all in the walk! Still, I guess this kind of thing is necessary, and it might even be helpful if you are going through it at the time. 

 

More Swag tables. Once you get walking, people mostly stick to their groups. We saw whole families walking in honor or memory of a family member, all wearing shirts with their faces on it and that sort of thing. This is a neat one to do as a group (as opposed to Relay) because everyone was there at the same time. The group meeting area was huge, and some people couldn't even walk, but they were there to support their team. 

 

Blue flowers signified that they were people with Alzheimers, so it was always heartwrenching to see them kind of grouped together. It's an interesting event, because it is a (lightly) athletic event motivated by elderly people. I think Alzheimer's can be more easily ignored because it primarily affects the elderly, but at something like this you can see how powerful and important these people are. That seems significant to me in a way I can't yet articulate, but it is such a different kind of tragedy than other things that get this kind of attention. 

 

Then we got all lined up, and suddenly it became very clear just how many people were participating. The tone of the whole thing was very positive. I saw people get choked up, but there was no weeping. People were happy to be there and shockingly enthusiastic for how early it was. 

 

And we're off! I love all of the flowers in this picture.It was so crowded that at first you sort of babystep along, but everyone was friendly and kind to each other.

 

Trying to give a sense of just how long the line of people was. I think we finished in the top 10% (just walking) but since the walk doubled back, we got to see everyone as we went. 

 

It was also fun to see how people were spirited for it, coming in costume or having purple boas on. So cute!

 

The walk took us up around the Embarcadero, and we even walked around AT&T Park.

My Mom was pretty excited about the Physical Therapy sign. It was also a nice event to do with only three people, because we could move through the large groups pretty quickly.

 

The boat was also honking for us the whole time. The organizers did a great job of having enthusiastic support for their walkers every step of the way. That sort of thing isn't necessary, but I think it makes it more fun. 

 

I don't know where they do the walks in other cities, but it was a really beautiful place to  walk. It would have been a nice walk just on its own!

 

They also had a drum band. The whole walk was marked both by cones and volunteers who were happy to be there and generally very enthusiastic. One thing I thought was strange was that they held signs with facts about Alzheimers, but they only had like 3 facts, so you kept reading the same thing over and over!

 

 They also had a spot  where the groups could take a picture with the Bay Bridge. It is definitely a very walker- centric event, but the focus is primarily fun as opposed to a more solemn thing. I am not sure what that says, but we appreciated it.

 

They also have lots of people right at the end giving pins and cheering on the walkers. The end feels positive, but also a little anti-climatic, but I think that is how these things go, especially since people kind of trickle in.

 

Ugh, there was also a group who constantly tried to push to the front and carried a billboardadvertising their business. It had nothing to do with Alzheimers, it was just self-promotion. That just seemed like it was in bad taste. I will not be living in their condos.

 

Exhausted from the walk. Joking. 3 miles is like a 45 minute walk, so it was perfectly pleasant and quick. It's a good event if you aren't too sporty. 

Victory Jamba Juices! Only in California. But they were pretty good, and we got to feel free to drink them since we had our morning workout!

All in all, it was a great and positive experience that will help end the most depressing disease in the world. It definitely felt like a warm way to celebrate people and fight Alzheimers. They have them EVERYWHERE, they are organized and well-run, and I would highly recommend it.

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3 Things I Love Today- Disney Marathons, Golden Doodle Puppy Pictures, Jacqueline and Caroline on Real Housewives of New Jersey

1. Tweets about the Disney Marathon on ABC Family- People are so happy about it! But, I will admit, it was fun to watch Hercules this afternoon with my Mom. Pretty much my fave, because Meg is the bomb. Still one of the only Disney ladies with a good sense of humor.

2. Goldendoodle puppies!- Yes, I am still obsessed with them. The Internet supports my golden doodle addiction. I am hoping that someday I can have pictures of my own!

3.  Jacqueline and Caroline on J's son Nicholas's autism- all in all, the reunion this year was just DEPRESSING. The toxicity of all the relationships are so sad, but it was very sweet to see Jacqueline talk about her son and her thoughts on going through the season. It was even sweeter to see her sister-in-law support her, and clearly really loves her nephew, because that is what family is supposed to be like. I'll happily admit that I used to love this show as a guilty pleasure, and Jersey was my favorite because I liked the closeness of family relationships, but seeing how destructive reality television can be to those relationships is super depressing. For realsies.

Thing I do NOT love- vodka commercials with super misogynistic renderings of robots. Seriously, disgusting. 

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Quote of the Week- Moms

The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men - from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.- Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Yes, Mother. I can see you are flawed. You have not hidden it. That is your greatest gift to me."

- Alice Walker

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3 Things I Love Today- Walk to End Alzheimer's, Naps, Saffron Broth

1. Walk to End Alzheimers- I will probably write a whole blog on my experience doing the walk, but all in all I was pretty impressed with how it was organized and not overwrought or heavy handed. Getting up this morning at 6:20 was pretty horrible, and I am pretty sure we all took a nap at some point today, but all in all, it was definitely worth it.
2. Naps- seriously, they are God's best invention. A good nap is the best thing for the soul. Now I am super ready to go to bed, but it is still a pretty effective survival tool.
3.Ok, I was going to say my Mom, but I think I basically said that yesterday, so I will say any broth that has garlic, tomatoes, and saffron. Maybe the perfect compliment to seafood, and even better it tastes like it should be high calorie, but that isn't the case at all! Also, I really love spending time with my Mom.

Bonus! My Mother's ability to make friends with absolutely everyone. Also, her exceptional respect for swag. She could tell you all about Alzheimer's care in the Bay Area now, and she has a huge collection of pens, stress balls, and one really nice chip clip. 

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3 Things I Love Today- A PhD is..., Tim Gunn Grouch, and my Mom is Here!

1. This visual representation of what a PhD is-the colors represent knowledge- the blue is elementary school, the green is highschool, the pink is college (where you learn a bit of everything, but also spacialize) and then you push out further out into your specialized direction, until you reach a gap in knowledge. You push that limit out a teeny bit, and that little nubbin' you added to the world of knowledge is a PhD. Whoa. If the big red phallus was a lot skinnier, this would be a perfect representation, I think.

2. Tim Gunn on the set of Sesame Street- If this photograph doesn't warm your heart, you are the worst person in the entire world.

3. My Mom is visiting! She's so fun and laid back, and right now she is weirdly stubborn about sleeping on the couch in our living room rather than in our guest room. I don't get it, and I clearly cleaned for nothing, but there you go! Also, we are getting up at the crazck of dawn to do the Walk Against Alzheimer's tomorrow, so we should go to sleep for realsies!

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Fall Clothes Inspiration

Ok, I am trying to sort of round up clothes ideas through the beauty of pinterest. I am not above loving clothes- I love color and pattern, so pretty much everything I like is usually multi-color and covered in polka dots. I am trying to thoughtfully transition that into something I can use long term. I am not sure how you do this, and spending a ton of money on clothes has never been my thing. So when I do buy something, I usually love it. Which means it is covered in polka dots and bright red.

So I am trying to use pinterest to learn about balance and the beauty of neutrals or whatever. I will never go as beige as a lot of these girls, but it is kind of fun to see what I have accumulated this month, so I thought I'd share.

 I guess there is some hair stuff in here too. And a couple of movie stills. Whatev, I am not a fashion expert yet.

 Ok, so I haven't given up my serious love of polka-dots, but these two dresses look like things you can wear for a long time (or at least on the left that supermodel could wear for a long time!)

 LOVE the 40's makeup on the left and the necklaces on the right. Not sure they would go together, but I like the idea anyway.

 So, the two things I am noticing by looking at stuff is an awareness of your own form really helps (of course, a lot of these people are just too skinny for me), and that if you keep things mostly neutral, than your color really pops. Anyway, this all feels a bit like make-up, where it only comes in useful in a blue moon, but I don't think there is anything wrong with doing whatever it is that makes you feel pretty or feel a little bit of joy in how you were made. 

 I think both of these are gorgeous, and I am pretty obsessed with how the girl on the left is working that colorful outfit and short hair. The woman on the right has a bit of a 1940's Katherine Hepburn thing going on, but you have to be totally curve-less to wear something like that.

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