Little Green Dress- What Works to Wear While Nursing

While you are pregnant, you hear over and over that you look beautiful and that you are doing something miraculous. Fourth trimester, not so much. The only real impulse we see toward the fourth trimester is to render it invisible- the idea is that infant mothers should stay home, put their boobs away, and get back to their "pre-baby bodies" as quickly as possible.

Well, excuse me for existing. Let me just put on my invisibility cloak.

 If 4th trimester mamas have any kind of fashion profile, I would guess it is old pajamas with baby puke on it and unwashed hair. I can still remember going to our infant care class, and while watching the movie (made ten to fifteen years ago), being horrified at the ridiculous black hole of sexiness that were the women nursing. I mean, nipples take on a new role after you see them in a nursing diagram. Also, God bless all participants for being willing to be filmed in their sad pajamas. Now, the second time around, I know there is some truth to the horrors of the sad jammies, but not as much as you would think.

The fourth trimester is not the sad, banal pass through people make it out to be.

Women in their 4th trimester are still pretty damn miraculous. They made a person, they got that person out, and now their body is healing and changing all over again. Not to mention their body somehow can make enough food to be the only thing their baby needs to start their life. Did you know breast milk can actually help heal the baby? Forget hiding- those things deserve their own parade!

I don't want to spend the next six months feeling like a walking nipple diagram, and I am not going into hiding either.I have done this once already, and I know some of this is inevitable, but I don't think I spent those post-partum months looking like a dirty pile of laundry. That's just a bummer. I also don't want to leave my house looking like I am sleepwalking, even if that isn't that far from the truth.


With all of the writing on what to wear while pregnant, you can't find much at all about how to rock the new mom phase (true for non-nursers as well). I think the general sentiment is that it is ok to give up at this juncture, but I refuse! That being said, most of the last month and a half, I have looked like this:

The trick is to find a balance between that comfort/ convenience and to treat yourself as beautiful, because you still are. If pregnant bodies are beautiful and miraculous, so is the body you have now (maybe even more so).  I have learned some things  about what works for nursing and transitioning other than my eeyore pajama pants (super sad. also, I am wearing them as I write this). Nursing poses all sorts of challenges, so I would love to hear what works for you as well! These are my best tips for dressing in those first few months:

1. Thred Up is your New Best Friend- The first time around, I bought a pile of cheapo clothes from Old Navy in a larger size to get me through. It makes sense- your regular clothes and most of your maternity stuff won't work, but you will be back to something more familiar before you know  it, so why waste a bunch of money? A couple of reasons. First, the phase might go longer than you think (or you could be back here again), so the jeans I bought (and a few tops) fell apart so much that I can't use them again. Secondly, Old Navy's clothes are so cheap because they take advantage of cheap and unethical labor- it's just not worth it.

Instead, I highly recommend buying anything you need for this stage at the thrift store. Don't have a good one nearby? Or (more likely) don't have the time for excessive browsing now? Then try Thread Up. I bought every piece for this phase from them this time. I love what I got, it's well-made, it was cheaper than a lot of what I got last time, and I can feel alright if it comes to an untimely (or pukey) end. Fit is going to be a moving target anyway, so I highly recommend buying your new mom wear used,

2. Embrace the Button Up- In the previously mentioned nipple horror film, the new moms were whipping themselves out from the bottom of their shirts. I refuse to give gravity any help, so my boobs only travel upwards. Because of this, there are two options- low cut tops and button-ups. I also have ginormous unruly boobs, constantly trying to find my babies as if he is Sauron and they are the ring. So I have found Buttons are a nursing woman's best friend, that she can free herself in minutes while flashing slightly fewer people. So far, my favorites are long tunics with buttons and soft stretchy jeans or leggings. I even do dresses with buttons.



3. Belts- Yep, they still help. A good investment that can move through sizes with you. Waists are everyone's friend. Just make sure they are easy to get off so you can be comfy while nursing.

from https://www.etsy.com/transaction/238927482

4. Nursing Covers Masquerading as Scarves- Have you seen most nursing covers? They look like puppet theaters mated with seafood restaurant bibs.I don't want to fight with them,  but I would like there to be at least a few people on this Earth who I haven't flashed. Even just one. I found nursing covers on etsy that on first glance just look like infinity scarves but are big (and thin) enough to make really great covers. I also love these ones from Covered Goods, which have a little more stretch (perfect at certain moments).

Even though I am not new at nursing, the Baby Bear is, so I like being able to see him and help him.Plus, these minimize our baggage, which is the key to active and sane parenting. So, if I want to breastfeed in the middle of Seattle Center while eating a doughnut, I can.

5. Hats and Boots- I don't skip showers often, but they do sometimes land in the evening and both boys have  started his day by spitting up in my hair (and the Mom haircut suddenly makes sense). Hats really help cover that mess up. Both hats and boots can make any outfit look like you did it on purpose.In the right, I am literally wearing pajamas, but I look moderately functional, right?

 

5. Stepped Up Sweats- Modcloth has a series of sweater/ sweatshirts in a bunch of colors called Airport Greeting Cardigan that I swear was designed for nursing.  It has a nice drape so it looks more like you aren't wearing cozy home clothes, the zipper means you can get it off quickly (and it still looks nice open if you aren't quite there yet), and it fasten off the center of your body, so your spawn doesn't get uncomfortable zipper face. It's not cheap, but they always have it in some colors, and lower selling colors are often on sale. I got a charcoal one and liked it so much that The Boy got me an oatmeal one for Christmas.

 6. Long Tank Tops- The last thing you need to mess with when nursing is your butt hanging out. They can also be nice to just feel like everything is held in. I love the tank tops from M Rena; they are soft, extra long, and made in America! Nothing like a practical buy that helps an American business.

 7. Don't Be Too Quick to Turn in your Maternity Clothes- Everybody loses weight in different ways, and there is no shame in getting a little more of your money's worth out of what you bought before digging through what has long been put away. When planning for the fourth trimester, assume you will use the 2nd trimester clothes again (if you are really on point, buy pregnancy clothes that will work for nursing.

Both times in the first few weeks after the birth, I lost more than half of the weight I gained (we'll call this the Baby and Support chunk), the other bit didn't budge (I will guess that is the cookie weight, and it was worth it). This time, I know once I hit a certain point, the weightloss will be slow and just happen as I can be more active. It would be great to bounce back into my normal clothes, but that's fruitless energy to worry about. It turns out that my maternity jeans are way more kind to c-section scars, and a couple of my stretchy, buttoned maternity tops have been the best for yanking out the nunjas. I also like the feeling of my tummy being supported right now. I won't retire my maternity jeans for at least 3 to 5 months.

8. Bras make all the difference- Do not buy anything that looks less powerful than your regular bra. Medela and others sell "Night" bras that basically are built like a training bra. That's nonsense. I had one, it was horrible on all counts. Save your money.

Snaps in the straps (no one needs to struggle here), snaps in the back (don't fall for the sports bra business, because your boobs will resemble James's Giant Peach), and don't have an underwire (ow).  This has been the magic formula for me. I like Bella Materna bras, though I think most are imported now.

9. Maxi Dresses- Comfy and you look put together with minimal effort. I recommend wrap dresses for work or more formal events where your boobs still need an easy exit. I still wear my Breezy Night Stroll dress every week.

10. Bring Yourself a  Change of Clothes- Trust me. Just go get a dark colored maternity t shirt, put it in a bag with back ups for everyone else, and put it in the trunk of your car or basket of your stroller. You will get puked on. Just be prepared.

I hope this helps some poor souls like me who want the internet's help in strategizing their boob cover.  I know I said I am trying to avoid excuses, but if you just had a baby, you just had a freaking baby. If you aren't a celebrity who creepily bounces back into their bikini, or you have a colicky baby, or you just don't care, more power to you- you just had a freaking baby.

You aren't obligated to look pretty or disappear or do anything regarding your looks- you just had a baby for goodness sakes!

 The most important thing, I think, is not forgetting about yourself in all the craziness. I like putting a little thought into this, because it is easy for me to let self-care slide completely. Everybody gets through this phase in different ways, so I would like to hear your strategies!

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Letter to Get Better- Pact

Rocking some adorable Pact socks

Dearest Pact,

In the past two years, your socks have earned my undying loyalty.

Nobody does baby socks as well as you do (so stretchy, so cute), and I love that your company prioritizes being fair trade, respectful of their workers, and environmentally-conscientious. My son has worn your socks more than anyone, and we have started branching out into your underwear selections (now I am eyeing leggings- so cute).  I recommend your socks to everyone on this blog, because you have something genuinely great going on.

Now, this isn't just a lovefest for your fair trade cotton and no sweatshop policy (though I LOVE those things too). Here's the problem. Somebody changed your packaging, and it sucks. You used to have just cardboard (I think recycled) packaging, but a couple of times now, I have received boxes that have plastic in them as well.

What gives?

The plastic packaging might make sense for stores (I know you are at Whole Foods), but I think if you are mailing you definitely don't need the high security of a flimsy piece of plastic.

This little piece of plastic is pretty commonplace, but as you probably know, it can cause big problems. First, if you live somewhere with recycling, they generally can't/ won't recycle boxes with a plastic insert, and not everyone knows to separate them. Even worse, in places where the box just gets thrown in a landfill, it guarantees that it will never biodegrade. Ever piece of that plastic, useless and unattractive, will sit in the landfill when my children are buying socks for their children's children.

 It takes your packaging from potentially waste-free to very wasteful. If I am trying to do the best for my kids with my shopping, I am not sure your socks are it anymore. What a bummer!

Now, I am debating whether there is a way to get your amazing socks for our next baby without the lame packaging. Please consider going back to a more environmentally responsible model of packaging so I can keep giving you money and talking up your sockmazingness!

Sunshine Guerrilla

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Don't Buy Converse Sneakers, Instead Try...

Converse Sneakers

  When I think about sneakers, I definitely think of a sort of All-American look. Casual, like a pair of jeans but tough, sporty, and fun too. Doesn't it sound like an American? Of all the sneakers, Converse has the most All-American, everyday image. People are widely committed to their Chucks, and now they even make tiny ones for babies, so you can be a Converse family from the very start. With all of this brand loyalty, you would think the company still manufactures in America. It doesn't. Let's talk about it.

Converse is one of the most iconic American shoe brands. Their branding leans on this, even their branding is a little star, often in red white and blue. The company began in 1908 making rubber soled shoes, and started making tennis shoes in 1915 (yes, they are that old), but now they are a "subsidiary" of Nike, another seemingly American brand. Converse had a huge share of the shoe market starting in World War II through the mid-century, but they lost ground when new athletic shoe companies was founded. All Stars became popular in the 80's, but by the early 2000's, Converse filed bankruptcy and was bought by Nike. Neither of these brands make any shoes in America anymore. Not one.

Converse is not very impressive in terms of social or environmental responsibility. Their offices are in Boston, and they say they support that community, but there isn't much evidence of that to come by. Converse says they are transparent about their supply chain, but I had a difficult time finding reliable and concrete information about it. It's clear they contract work out to factories in other countries. Look out for companies that contract labor out like this, because it is a way for them to distance themselves from responsibility for the nasty and unsafe conditions their products are made in. Could it be alright? Yes, but it is highly unlikely.

Now, when you get into buying American and shoe-shopping, things can get very depressing. Very fast. I have written about this once before, so you can read more options and ideas here.  I am pointing you to my best finds, and let's hope things improve in the future.

from Sincerely Jules

1. New Balance- New Balance is the one bright light in this whole thing, still making at least 4 million shoes in the US every year. They still maintain a factory in Massachusets, and they are the only mainstream sports shoe brand that can still claim their Americaness.

That being said, not all of their shoes are Made in America, but some of them are. They also are not cheap, so you are really getting one pair of shoes in place of a couple. This may sound bad, but take a look at the shoes- of the Made in America shoes, some are really great looking and stylish, so it may not be the same style as Keds or Converse, but you don't have to wear anything embarrassing either. They have our loyalty from here on out.

from Indulgy

2. Keds (Soon, Not Now!)- Keds are currently manufactured in China (I can't find them made elsewhere), but at their Centennial celebration, the company claimed they were going to begin manufacturing their shoes in Michigan once again. I really hope this is true- I love my old keds, but I refuse to buy any more while they are made in China. You better believe, if they move to the United States, I will be all over it. Keds has a pretty similar history to Converse- founded in 1916, the shoes were one of 16 brands that used US Rubber as the bottom of the shoes, becoming the item we call sneakers. They started making and marketing shoes specifically for women in the 1930's, and in the mid-century, they were worn by sports and music stars.

In 1979, they were sold to Stride Rite, and in 2012, Stride Rite was acquired by Wolverine World Wide, who is based out of Michigan. This year, they announced the move to Michigan, where Wolverine World Wide has its headquarters. If they actually move back, that would be such a momentum-changing step for an American company, and I can continue to buy the same sneakers as my Grammy, so win all around.

If this comes to pass, you know I will be throwing a digital parade, so you will know all about it. But feel encouraged it might be happening!

Frye's from Zappos

3. Frye's- This American-made company is mostly known for their boots, but they do sell a few designs of lace up leather shoes that might be a grown up alternative to the Chucks that a grown man could wear all the time. Still has a slightly playful feel, but a little more mature for sure. Again, not cheap, but they are leather not canvas, so they will probably last a lot longer.

from Soft Star Shoes

4. Soft Star Shoes- Soft Star makes minimal shoes for adults and children out of Oregon (in fact they won one of the greenest workplaces in Oregon, which is pretty impressive since Oregon is all kinds of green). Some have hard bottoms, many have soft soles. One of the best and only places to get casual shoes for kids that are made in America.

from Som Footwear

5. Som Footwear- These shoes, perfect for climbing but great for regular days as well, were all made in Colorado. In fact, if you live near Montrose, you can go and tour the factory! The founder made minimalist footwear for running and hiking. I am not in love with all of the designs, but the simpler ones look great, and they might perfectly fit your style! And lots of reviews say they are the most comfortable shoes the owner has, so that says something too.

A few other companies that may work for you- Evolv, Keen, Munro American,

A few extra thoughts on Fair Trade shoes:

A lot of people have switched out casual shoes like Chucks for Toms, which give shoes one for one every time you buy a pair (right now, they are specifically helping Syrian refugees, which I think is pretty awesome). There are some pretty legitimate arguments against buying Toms over something fair trade (they have some fair trade products, but this is not a fair trade company); if you give a child a pair of shoes but work their family member to death to make these shoes for no money, have you really done them a favor? It's a complex issue, but I have been reading about some progress being made by the company (and you can read up on their factories here), and in general I say Toms are WAY more ethical than Chucks, so you weigh out what is most important to you.

If you want some casual shoes with more developed and ethical approaches to their factories, I would suggest Oliberte or Sole Rebels. Check out their Urban Runners. Natural World prioritizes eco-friendly shoes as well.

When you factor in these fair trade sources and the shift in the tides represented by Ked's potential move, the shoe story may not be as depressing as you think. Converse may have abandoned the American worker, but not everyone has, and you still have options if you want to avoid unethical, environmentally irresponsible, and just unpatriotic shoes for your everyday life. You can do this!

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