An Earth-Friendly, American-Made Baby Registry- Part Four- Just the Links

This is the Just the Links version of Part Four of the Made in America and Environmentally-Friendly Baby Registry. This will help you find car seats, baby carriers, and all of our favorite toys.

Evenflo from Amazon

car seats

Car Seat- Evenflo
Other Options- Baby Trend and Safety First

Cover- Used
Other Options- Loved Littles, Kids n Such, Caden Lane Gifts, Oh Baby Fargo, Kathy Koveleski.

lugging the bubba

Wrap or Carrier- Used and Solly Baby wraps
Other Options- Happy Wrap, Chimparoo, Tekhni, MJ baby Carriers (perfect alternative to the Ergo), Poe Wovens, Pavo, Golden Thread Mistress, Babyhawk,  Action Baby Carrier, Kinderpack, Cassiope Woven, Emmeline Textiles, Kokoskaa,  Cardbird Baby (some are 100% made in America, and some are America and China), Risaroo Wovens, and Maya Wrap's Premium Wovens. 

Hiking Carrier- Tough Traveler

Stroller- Used or Safety First 

Maple Landmark from Amazon

Toys

Keys- Green Toys 

Outdoor Toys- Used or Little Tikes 

Play Mats- Finn and Emma arch
Other Options- Alluring Co, Fawn Over Baby, Flagship Carpets

Sensory Toys- Baby Jack and Nel Quilts

Shape Sorter- Maple Landmark
Other Options- Green Toys

Stuffed Toys- Used and Bears for Humanity

Teethers- Lifefactory Silicone Teethers and Little Sapling Toys, Honey Bee Toy and Craft
Other Options- Sophie the Giraffe, Seahorse Teethers, Wowie Star, Green Toys Twist Teether, Begin Again, Manzanita Kids, Keepsake Toys, Two Five Tree, Beckman Woodworks, This hippo, The Teething Fairy, Paci Catcher

Things on Wheels- Green Toys and Holgate Toys

odds and ends

Bible- Jesus Storybook Bible

Books- Baby Bug, The Pout Pout Fish, Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes, Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, Green Eggs and Ham, Oh My Oh My Oh Dinosaurs, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, The Monster at the End of this Book, First Word Books and Mercer Mayer

Diaper Bag- Kith and Kin. Tom Bihn,  ika bag tote, Christy Studio, Precious Little Tot , Dainty Bean

Fan- Honeywell

Teething Necklace- Style Hungry, mint sunshine shop, My Sunshine Studio, and Babes and Babies.

Be sure to check out the whole registry! You can get everything you want and make a better world for your baby!

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An Earth-Friendly, American-Made Baby Registry- Part Four- Lugging the Bubba and Toys

This is the fourth part of the Earth-Friendly and American-Made Baby Registry for all the mommas, daddies, guardians, grandparents, and loves ones out there who want to leave the world a little bit better for the tiny person they can't wait to meet.

Most people make their registry by finding a list online or in a store and checking off the items. Lots of parents do research on safety. This registry is asking you to take three steps towards that registry that will cut down on waste, put more money back into local and American businesses, send companies the message you will prioritize ethical labor practices, and save fossil fuels by minimizing shipping (if you have 100 things on your registry, and they all have to take a trip from Asia, how much gas does that needlessly use?). 

This list covers the final touches on many registries. If you have some baby showers in your future (don't we all?), these gifts might be the future parents' favorite. Or offer them a date night. That will make you the favorite. Be sure to check out the whole registry and the just the links page if you want the short and sweet version!

Are you going to have a perfect environmental impact free registry? Eh, probably not, but the goal isn't to be perfect. Let's all try to make some better choices and simple switches, and those smaller steps, taken by many, will have a huge impact on that beloved baby's world.

car seats

Car Seat 

Cover

Distraction Toys

Evenflo from Amazon

The Car Seat (new)- Car seats really shouldn't be bought used (and you know it must be serious if I am telling you only new). It is really hard to know the history of a car seat, whether it has been in a car accident, etc. If offered one by someone you trust, that is one thing, but you need to know the person well to consider it seriously. When it comes to something this important, just go ahead and buy it new. If you need extra bases or something, it might be alright to look into, but this one makes sense to go big on. There are a couple good made in America options for this, though I have yet to see any made with any recycled or recyclable materials.

Our Pick- Evenflo makes their  car seats in the US (from low to high price points too), and the convertible seats can actually last much longer than the infant car seat "system." This will last from 5 to 40 pounds. Sometimes, parents want that infant carrier (no judgement, we have one), but Evenflo's stationary systems will at least save you money in the short  term. This company is generally my pick That being said, some of Evenflo's Infant car seats are made in the US (not all), but the whole system (carrier, car seat base, and stroller) does seem to be made in China.

Other Options- If you want a Made in the USA option for a system you can take in and out of the car (it did help us because we live in rainy Seattle, but maybe not as much as we expected, and we are already shopping again for a car seat and stroller that can grow  with our baby more)- Baby Trend is my winner, because it comes with a stroller that the baby can grow into (minimizing how much you buy). It also has overwhelmingly positive reviews. Safety First also makes their Grow and Go carseat out of Ohio. Just keep an eye out when you browse, because I don't think everything is made domestically.Their infant seat is made in China.

Covers (used)-Good to keep out weather or sun, but a blanket and clips can work, or you can find covers used. We got a coupon for free ones that I think everyone has, so someone has to be willing to part with it. Honestly, I don't think we used ours enough for it to feel worth it. Plus, if you have a nursing scarf that stretches, it can fulfill the same purpose. They always have enough at the consignment store that I don't really get why anyone would get it new.

Other Options- Multi-use ones make the most sense- Loved Littles and Kids n Such both work that way,  You could also go for something more stylish from Caden Lane Gifts or Oh Baby Fargo, But really, the only ones you need to be really classy are from Kathy Koveleski. But really, used or a blanket will work just fine.

Distraction Aids (just wait)- They love to push car accessories for babies- special blankets, hangy toys, etc. You can see how your bubba does in the car before you strategize. Some babies love the car seat as a napping spot, other tiny people just hate it. You won't know who you've got until they get here, so don't prep for challenges you may not have. You have enough to worry about.

lugging the bubba

Carrier

Wrap

Hiking Carrier

Stroller

One wrap and one carrier (new or used)- For the first 8-10 months, we used our wraps and carriers ten times more than our strollers. Wraps and baby-wearing can be an incredibly hardcore enterprise, but like any environmentally-conscientious choice, you don't have to dive into the deep end to make waves. We didn't turn out to be hardcore baby wearers, but I would recommend it to any and all parents. You can wear your baby around the house or out on walks, it keeps them close, and you can use both hands. My philosophy is to minimize your baggage if you want to stay mobile, strollers don't encourage traveling light.

If your heart is set on the two big mainstream carriers- Baby Bjorn or the Ergo, please get them used, You can find so easily in a baby consignment store or used online if you want one. You can also find ergo-similar carriers at a lot from some of the companies coming up. There is no need to get these new and they are made Elsewhere, so you can do better. If you can't find one used where you are, tell me, and I will go get one for you.

Our Pick- We loved our Solly Baby wraps for the first few months (and it would last longer if your baby isn't a squirmy meatball like ours). The stretchiness helped us learn how to wrap, and it kept my hands free during the day while still getting constant cuddles. They also come in great designs and patterns, have mini ones for dollies (so cute) and sell swaddle blankets (if anyone has one, let me know how it is- this seems like a genius idea to me).

Other Options- My wonderful friend Mindy babywraps like a boss, and she was able to give me all the details on wraps and carriers worth knowing about. She made the point that since babywearing is a deeply-rooted cultural practice, you can find great ones from around the world, but we will try to focus on ones that don't have to travel far. Be sure to poke through all the options before you decide for sure, and there are groups for babywearers that you could visit to get information and try lots of these.

Happy Wrap- Not as heavy as a Moby, with a little bit of stretch. It comes in lots of colors, which can be a little tougher to find in the Made in the US category, but these are beautiful and functional with lots of choices. Chimparoo is beloved (and Canadian-made, for you Baby Mounties out there) and that Tekhni is not only awesome, but made out of recycled post-consumer water bottles- my favorite thing! This is the one I am thinking of for Baby #2. Other options from Mindy- MJ baby Carriers (perfect alternative to the Ergo), Poe Wovens, Pavo, Golden Thread Mistress, Babyhawk,  Action Baby Carrier, Kinderpack, Cassiope Woven, Emmeline Textiles, Kokoskaa,  Cardbird Baby (some are 100% made in America, and some are America and China), Risaroo Wovens, and Maya Wrap's Premium Wovens. 

Hiking Carrier (used or new)- This is obviously not for everyone, but we know lots of very active new parents, and a hiking carrier keeps them moving even with a very little one. I would absolutely recommend these baby carriers from Tough Traveler over anything else you will find on the market. Not only are they Made in the USA, they are also absolutely beloved by the people that use them.

Strollers (used)- If you can, absolutely get this used! You will be saving money and doing good. Strollers, in general, are not great news. We received a City Mini Baby Jogger stroller which we wanted partially because it was listed as "Made in America" and the box arrived with a big old "Made in China" right on it. So not great. It's a great stroller, so snatch it up if you see a used one, but that's a lot of money getting sent off elsewhere. Big bummer, really. I am still on the lookout for good options, but for now, I think used is best.

Safety First and Cosco brands still make some of their strollers (and car seats) in the US (though the parts are from a mix of places), so they are your best option from all the research I have done. You can buy a whole Safety First system, though they don't offer many strollers by themselves. That's it. How depressing! If you want an ethical stroller, your best bet is used or open box. If I find anything else, I promise I will pass the info along.

When picking what to get, think about weight. You may only need one if it covers a range of weight, or you might need tow. Many people also end up with "umbrella strollers" on top of the others, to travel with them in the car. You know how active you are- be honest with yourself and plan accordingly.

Toys

Keys
Outdoor Toys
Play Mats
Sensory Toys
Shape Sorter
Stuffed Toys
Teethers
Things on Wheels

Alright, in toys, what you actually need in the first year really depends on your baby, but you will need at least 2 teethers, a play mat, some books, something that makes annoying noises (it's a rite of passage) and maybe three other things (everything they tell you about them liking the box better is true). That being said, there are tons of great options to register for in toys.

Don't feel pressured to get a lot. I know I keep saying this, but your baby will not care about something you are sure is cool now. Boxes, Measuring Cups, and anything he isn't supposed to have are our baby's favorite toys. You really need 5 or 6 things tops for the first 6 months, and by then he or she should be able to show you what he or she finds interesting. And not to get all sentimental, but the thing he or she will most want to play with is you.

Keys (new)- They shouldn't be so beloved, but they are. Our house's favorite is the Green Toys set of keys, which are made of recycled plastic and are our gift to most of the babies we know. Not much is universal, but these keys seem to appeal to most tiny people.

Outdoor Toys (used)- My Nana got one of these Little Tikes Cars secondhand at least 15 years ago for her grandchildren, and it is still hard at work with her great granchildren now. Those plastic toys, mostly better for toddler than babies but people love to buy them early, last literally forever. So go check your Goodwill. Even if something is faded, you can repaint it for less money than buying one new, and save toys from the landfill.

If you have to buy something, many Little Tikes toys are made in America (not all of them are) and last from child to child (whereas Fisher Price are all imported and often come with parts that break). Even though they are made of plastic, these could be great if used by many children (which it will be; kids love that car)! They also have swings, kitchens, and water play tables.

Play Mats (used, Etsy)- These are another one of those things that is great then totally useless in quick succession. If you can find one used and washable (and you probably can, because they really do run out of uses quickly), it's worth it.

If you want to get a new one, I recommend skipping the ones with a mat (it's just a blanket, and you have plenty of those) and getting something more eco-friendly, like a Finn and Emma arch. If I had it to do again, this is the route I would take. You would think babies would rather have the ones with lights and whistles, but I have seen at least half a dozen tiny ones sucked into the mesmerizing glory of simple wood toys hanging from an arch. They love it. If you see one that is used? Buy that sucker right away, and take yourself for ice cream These are pretty popular on Etsy right now, so you can find many options there as well- Alluring Co and Fawn Over Baby have some of the cutest ones while still being affordable.

You can also get a play rug made in America from Flagship Carpets if that is more what you have in mind.

Sensory Toys (new or make yourself)- Small Babies go through long periods where they mostly want to touch and grab. I like small sensory blankets like this one from Baby Jack (made by moms in Wisconsin!) or sensory cubes like this one. from Nel Quilts. If you are registering, gifting, or making something like this, it's in the same period where they can only see high contrast colors, so I would be sure to go vivid!

Shape Sorter (new)- This shape sorter may be the most consistently popular toy we have had in the collection for the longest span. Babies love putting things into things, and then taking them out. Toddlers like figuring out shapes and testing. Shape sorters do the trick, but none are as great as this one from Maple Landmark. A few have come through our house, but this one is awesome; great for figuring out shapes but also for the simple joy of stuffing a thing full of stuff. If you want a slam dunk toy for a tiny person, this is a great bet. If that isn't for you, check the one from Green Toys. Just don't buy from Melissa and Doug, because those guys are shisters.

Stuffed Toys (made, used, or new)- Most of the favorites in our house are gifts from an aunt or uncle. We have a Tigger that was our uncle's and a pikachu that was our aunt's, and we love those. We also have a solid pile of beanie babies I still had, because I was sure they would be worth something? Whatever, they are valuable for hearing my son say "hippo" now. The Bub was also given a used bunny doll from Ebay that is identical to the bunny I adored as a kid. We have also had some kickass Goodwill finds- a Wall-E, an Elmo, and a Woody doll. You may think it is weird to give someone something used as a gift, but for this category, almost his whole collection is made up of meaningful gifts that meant something to someone he loved first. They are really special.

The Bub was also gifted two really adorable foxes by my cousin, and she made them herself! You can find tons of stuffed toy PDF's on Etsy, so you could do something amazing like this too.

Lastly, check out Bears for Humanity. This company assembles the bears in America (not as good as making them completely here, but once you start looking, stuffed animal pickings are slim), uses recycled polyfill, and gifts a bear to a kids charity for every bear they sell. They even employ Welfare to work participants, so you are helping someone in trouble have a job. One of my favorites and it makes for a sweet and ethical gift. Plus, they are clearly gaining steam and adding new styles, which is just what this blog likes to see.

If you are looking for something specific, try Etsy. There are so many stuffed animal and doll options on that site. Will you pay more than at Walmart? Yes. But the toy will be well-made and made in America. Nothing in that Walmart toy section can boast that.

Teethers (new/ used)- So many choices! This is designed to make it into your baby's mouth, so it is a good place to be a little more cautious.There are wood ones and silicon ones, I would get one of each beforehand, see what sticks, and maybe do another one if you have a hit on your hands.

 Our Pick for Silicone - Lifefactory Silicone Teethers- We kept ours in the freezer and gave it to the baby when teething really got him down. When he was smaller, he was pretty content to just test the different textures on the ring. They are also dishwasher safe, so you can throw them in when needed. So nice.

Other options- Freaking Sophie the Giraffe is everywhere (even photobombing my holidays), so maybe you can start looking for her used or donated (she can be easily sanitized as well. She is made in France with all baby-friendly materials, and her design gives multiple gnawing options, making her a favorite of teethers everywhere. Seahorse Teethers- These are so stinking cute, and I love the colors. They remind me of Lamaze toys, which you definitely won't see this list.You could also try a Wowie Star, Green Toys Twist Teether (I recommend the keys as well), and Begin Again's Green Ring Teether.

Our Pick for Wood Teethers-  Etsy has a lock on some of the coolest wooden teethers you can find, so if you are gifting, you can find something perfect for the bub you love there. Little Sapling Toys has the coolest designs (including state teethers!) and 12,000 glowing reviews. 12,000. One of the most successful stores I have seen on Etsy, and just tons of cute stuff to choose from. I also think this teething ring from Honey Bee Toy and Craft is a spot on combination of sensory toys, high contrast somethings to stare at, and a classic teether. It's a big winner in my book.

Other Options- Manzanita Kids have tons of really fun and creative options, but they also have great reviews and a lot of sales, so you know you are getting something good.  I really wish we had a camera-shaped teether like this one from Keepsake Toys, I also love the (very Seattle) Two Five Tree. Beckman Woodworks have little rings on them that would have kept our 8 month old busy for days (they also have jewelry teethers, which sounds crazy, but really works when you are out of the house with an antsy baby).This hippo from Finn and Emma is basically my favorite thing that has ever existed. The Teething Fairy sells wood/silicone combos which look really cute. Paci Catcher sells adorable teethers with the clips so the baby can hold on to them, even when they can't.

Things on Wheels (new or used)- One or two does the trick, but they sure are interesting to tiny people. My favorites? These animals on wheels from Green Toys and some little wooden cars from Holgate Toys (including this Daniel Tiger inspired trolley). Also, if you can find one used (you can) a push toy like a shopping cart is a great find.

odds and ends

Almost all of these don't qualify as needs, but they are a few things we have found that we loved along the way. Mostly they would make good gifts for the right family. 

Bible

Books

Diaper Bag

Fan

Humidifier

Teething Necklace

White Noise

Baby's First Bible (new)- Jesus Storybook Bible- This children's Bible is both whimsical and beautiful. I doubt our very young son can comprehend it yet, but it remains one of the best baby recommendations we were given.

Books (new and used)- You might feel a little silly reading to such tiny people, but it is well-proven to be great for those developping brains (you are also supposed to talk to them at all times, which I hated, so reading felt like a nice break. If you are gifting, I highly recommend gifting a subscription to Baby Bug- they are filled with tiny stories and poems that the parents might hate, but the baby will ask for as soon as they can ask, they also have great suggestions for caretakers on how to put the material to use, and they are printed in the US. They are also perfect for planes, because there is a lot of content but they are light and flexible for a diaper bag/ My Aunt Joanna gifted The Bub this, and we may hate Kim and Carrots, but deep down we love them. 

Other absolute favorites in our house for the first year? The Pout Pout Fish (the first time your baby tries to kiss the fish, you can write and thank me), Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes, Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, Green Eggs and Ham, Oh My Oh My Oh Dinosaurs, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, The Monster at the End of this Book, First Word Books (I really like an Usborne one as well) and Mercer Mayer books. They are almost all available used on Amazon (you could buy this whole pile for like 10 dollars), though some are printed in the US (Yay Sandra Boyton!) and no matter what, it can be great to support the authors. This is one that depends on your priorities. 

Diaper Bag (new)- If you already carry a big purse, it might work, otherwise it is time to get something that can handle your new job as cow and pack mule. They often try to sell you super cutesy bags with monograms and a million pockets- this isn't really necessary, you are better off picking something you actually want to wear for 3 years, because you will get so much use out of this.

 I got a Kelly Moore bag, which doubles as a camera bag, but it is made in China, so maybe not a great choice (especially because there are so many better choices, though they did assure me they have visited the factory multiple times and it stood up well to inspection). Also, for the price, it hasn't really held up that well in the two years I've used it. The most similar bags I found on Etsy were from Kith and Kin.

If you are looking for something sporty and gender neutral, Tom Bihn has a bag I have heard raves  about. This ika bag tote  on etsy is also a little more unisex (though I love this striped one)- and they are from Paris, so you will be one chic momma. Christy Studio also makes a really beautiful but gender neutral bag that can serve many purposes, Precious Little Tot has great bags thoughtfully made, especially if you do want some pockets. Dainty Bean makes bags that can be worn on the side or as a backpack (another highly recommended quality).

A Fan (new or used)-  Keeping babies cool can be as tough as keeping them warm, so be sure to prepare for hot summers. This one, from Honeywell, was made from recycled materials in the USA.

Humidifier (new)- The only ones I see that are made in America look like teapots. May be one, like the baby monitor, where not much exists but bad options. All the more reason to try to do better in nearly every other category!

from Style Hungry

Teething Jewels- Oh, the Bub loves his jewels, and the silicon beads make for an easily portable and clean-able toy when you are on the run, They really look cute too, so I may have them in 3 colors. You can also get wood/silicone ones on Etsy from stores like Style Hungry (love these), mint sunshine shop, My Sunshine Studio, and Babes and Babies.

 A White Noise Machine (just wait)- Many parents love their white noise (myself included), but you can download an app or album on your phone. One of the smaller ones might be good, but in general we haven't needed ours much, because we already have electronics that can play white noise. Getting more is just kind of wasteful.

We made it through! Be sure to check out the rest of the registry. If you want more shopping inspiration (lots more), visit my Giant List of Shopping Lists page!

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We Love the Local List- Murfreesboro, Tennessee

This is a new blog series where we can each sing the praises of our favorite local shops, brands, and restaurants. 



Supporting local businesses does even more than supporting small business owners (though that is great too). It keeps your money local to you (not off wherever the Waltons are vacationing), creates more jobs for your friends and family, and even helps the environment. 



Why is shopping local good for the environment? 



We talk a lot about commutes and how much fuel people use to travel, and the same applies to your stuff. The further your stuff has to travel, the more fossil fuels they use and energy they waste. Large companies and chains pretty consistently show less responsibility and concern for the environment and the communities they are in, so you can effect positive change locally and decrease your environmental impact just by shopping and eating local! 





 This blog intends to encourage us to get out and explore the businesses near where we live. See it as a fun challenge to see what you can support nearby and be surprised what amazingness you may have missed. You can also check out other lists to find the coolest places to go when you travel to new towns and cities!  





Rochelle is my cousin, friend for life, and one of two people I am happy to listen to their stories basically forever (side note, how beautiful does she look at the end stretch of her pregnancy?). She moved down to Tennessee permanently after her college graduation, and has spent 8 years living in the Nashville surrounding area. The whole place is gorgeous, and growing fast, so it is the perfect place to start exploring if you want to spend more of your money locally. Lots of businesses have to be bouncing up (including tiny businesses like Shelly's), but I love that Shelly points us to a couple of Nashville institutions as well. Plus, she is an amazing mom of 2 (about to be 3), so if you need some insight on where to find the best baby clothes, I would totally trust her. Take it away Rochelle!

1. The Pharmacy (Nashville) – This is our standard date night place. The burgers here are amazing and all of the meats are locally sourced. They also have awesome beer here and make their own phosphate sodas to order. Micah always orders the Farm Burger which uses locally sourced ground beef, bacon or ham, and a fried egg. I change it up, but I love the Mission City burger which has fresh pico de gallo and guacamole and crema fresca. So yum!


2. McKay’s Used Books and Music (Nashville) – this is our other date night standard. We pair it with The Pharmacy every chance we get. This place is basically a giant two-story warehouse of used books, music, movies, and video games. You can take the stuff you don’t want and sell it there and use the money to buy more of those things in the store. It’s amazing. And anything that they won’t buy they will put in free bins outside the store for people to take. We have spent a ridiculous amount of money in this store but when you can walk out with a stack of books and cds for just a few bucks a piece you feel like you won the lottery (if you are a nerd like we are).


3. Usborne Books & More (nationally) – Okay, so let’s be totally clear here, I’m a consultant with this company, so I’m already kind of in love with it. But hear me out – I love this company so much. Usborne Books & More sells books for kids ages birth through YA fiction. The basics are that the founder of the company wanted to make educationally engaging books that could compete with the media available – I think they deliver. Don’t get me wrong, my kids still love the tv, but when we need a break from television and movies I automatically pull out these books. There are nearly 2000 titles in the catalog and I’ve watched my kids fall in love with reading thanks to these books. They have lots of educational tools too and schools routinely use Usborne products in the classroom. Usborne Books & More is the American branch of the British company, but any of the books printed in black & white are printed in the United States. For the rest of the books, you can check out their ethical standards here: http://www.usborne.com/about-usborne/ethical-policies.aspx


4. KidtoKid (Murfreesboro & Nationally) – I love some consignment shopping and this is easily the best consignment store I’ve shopped in for my kids. The store is large and the clothes and gear are in great condition (often you can barely tell they were ever worn). The prices are great too. The one here in Murfreesboro even has this adorable separate door for kids to walk through. They sell a handful of new items also, including Re-play plates, bowls, cups, and cutlery. They also sell consignment maternity clothes (huzzah!) and they are current and in good shape.

Want to write your own Loving the Local List? You fill my heart with joy! Just send me a list of your five to ten favorite local brands and stores (it doesn't have to be just around the street- a State specific snack or small chain of restaurants works just fine). Write a few sentences on why you love each thing (and I love pictures if you have them) and send them to sunshineguerrilla@gmail.com.

Would you like to buy more environmentally responsible or Made in America products? I've got you covered! Check out my Mega List of Shopping Lists for tons of ideas for any shopping trip.

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Ten Ideas for Raising a Minimalist Kid

I want my children to have less than I did.

I know this sounds crazy. Who says that? The American Dream includes the idea that we all give our children more than we had. If we are good parents, we dream for abundance for our children. That if we are doing things right, our children have more than we had.

What happens if we want our children to have less?

At the very least, I want my children to have less stuff.

I don't think I have fewer dreams for my children than any other generation of parents did, and I do want them to have more in some ways- more adventures, more stability, more sushi than I did, but I think in the long run, we will do our children a tremendous service if they have less possessions, less spacious living, less baggage.

Before you get offended on my lovely parents' behalf (I am grateful for my upbringing and my husband's), hear me out. We are offered so many conveniences and gadgets to help manage our life, but those conveniences come at a deep cost that our children and grandchildren will have to pay.

-Too much costs our kids their healthy food and water. The (then still relatively new) disposable diapers our parents used for us 20 or 30 years ago still have 400 years on this planet, in the landfills and soil our children will eat from and the water they will drink. These options are way more prominent now- those HORRIBLE snack pouches can't be recycled, so you have saved 3 minutes now, but that pouch will outlive your grandkids. Not actually that great a deal.

- Too much costs our kids the environment. The plastic toys we played with will also outlive our children, and how many do you really remember? Why not only get used or recycled plastic toys for our kids?

- Too much costs our kids their future jobs. Because the market creates a demand for LOTS of toys (more toys is better than better toys), parents are looking for toys that are cheap. To make cheap toys, mainstream companies like Fisher Price and Melissa and Doug make all their toys in China. Those cheap toys mean someone is treated badly, fossil fuels are completely wasted in shipping, and more American jobs that can't compete with the prices fold. So fewer American jobs.

-Too much costs our kids their own happiness. Overconsumption when they are kids set them up for unhealthy habits through adulthood. If something breaks, replace it instead of fix it. More will make you happier (it's proven it never does). We all have to ask when these piles of stuff stop helping us and instead weigh us down.

- Too much costs our kids their time with us. It's well-documented that new American parents are pretty miserable. Some of these problems- like a cultural lack of a support system- can't be solved this way, but other's can. On average, our generation of parents lives in 1000 square foot larger homes than our parents did. What are we doing with all that space? And think of how much time all that extra space (and stuff that fills it) takes- we have to clean all of that! And if you have a toddler, you know life is like 80% cleaning. If we live in smaller spaces, our houses may not scream abundance and variety, but we win a lot of time back to just spend with our kids.

This dream of bigger and better keeps us working that much harder to just survive, when just surviving can be hard as it is. I see these beautiful pictures of children's spaces that look modern and pristine, not overun with toys, books, and clothes. I don't think my house will ever be that minimalist, and I am certainly still new at this. But the idea of effectively giving my children less has been on my mind a lot (especially as I fight the instinct to buy leading up to the birth of my second), so I thought I would share the ideas I have had.

1. Say Goodbye to Cable

Enough opinions are floating around about screen time (it rots your kids' brain vs. screenphobia is just the latest stand against Stay at Home Moms), but my beef isn't with a screen. Pick the amount of screen time that works for your family, Netflix it up, but stay away from media with ads. When you have cable, or you are watching any programming directed at children, you need to weed out these overstimulating and overpromising snippets.

Ads are designed to send a constant message- you aren't enough, you don't have enough, and that you won't be happy until you have this thing.

This is a pretty dangerous game of desire for anyone, much less kids. And before you roll your eyes and think your child is above it, just remember that these people really, really know what they are doing. They get degrees in how to send that message. They do research on how to do it most effectively. They get paid millions of dollars to do it. This is a serious business, and they are good at it. But, there is no law saying your kid needs to watch things that tell them what they want. You get to choose what normal is, and do your kids a favor by keeping cable out of your home.

2. Just Stay Away from the Toy Section

In the same way, kids can't want every toy on the shelf if they don't know what is on the shelf. Stay out of the toy sections of most stores, and they won't know every little thing that is out there. Will this save you from the occasional tantrum in the grocery store? Nope. Does it mean your child will never want toys they see at friends' houses? Nope. Is this guaranteed to save you from Elsa or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Nope. But it does make wanting stuff less a part of their regular life.

When we are at Goodwill, I will let my son pick out one thing to take home. Anywhere else, he can look, even touch, but nothing is coming home with us. The less time we spend in Target's toy aisles, the less I have to have this fight.

3. Slow Your Roll Out

My sister in law taught me this, and it is genius. When her son would get a giant pile of loot from a birthday or Christmas, she just packed a bunch back up and gave them out when he seemed bored with the last thing. After Christmas, let 2 or 3 gifts stay out, and everything else goes into storage. As the previous gifts wear out (over weeks and months), another new object can come out.

We love that feeling of abundance, that fantasy of the super full Christmas tree, but gifting that way isn't very practical and the kids can't appreciate it anyway.

Kids can only process so much at a time, so those big gift mountains seem cool, but lots of toys get lost in the shuffle. Most children do get sick of things. Instead of constantly needing new toys, you just use what they were already gifted and Christmas last much longer! Our son is too little to know the difference, and we can make one holiday last for months.

from Mum in the Madhouse

4. Make Giving a Family Tradition and Habit

At Christmastime, many families have an advent calendar with treats inside. What if this year, each member of your family gave one thing away every day in Advent. You could do it for Lent too! To teach your kids about taking better care of the Earth, you have to illustrate the act of giving. Let them pick toys to gift.every day during the holiday season, then go together as a family to give it away. Have your spring cleaning tradition include a big family day where you drop things off and donate things to charities. Let them participate with you on Buy Nothing once a month. Pick what works for you, but pick something and include your little ones.

 I whole-heartedly believe that we have to model the behavior we want to see from our children, so if you want them to be generous (and non-materialistic), then you have to make giving a regular part of life. It well help your house stay cleaner, help them assess what they really care about, and in the end could be such a fun tradition!

5. Clean Out the Toys and Clothes Every 3-6 Months and Give a Third Away

 Even two years in, I can see how quickly the toy collection flies off the rails.You receive gifts from grandparents or hand me downs from friends, and the pile gets bigger. Man, they can take over everything! The key is not only to buy less, but to clean out more, so get in there and send things off that never clicked with your kid.

Right now, The Bub is too little to really understand what is going on when I do this, but he is always present, and someday he will just think it is normal. It's not about throwing things away, it's about sharing with other people who might enjoy it more. I have gotten some of his favorite toys at Goodwill or on Buy Nothing, so I think it is my responsibility to keep putting back into these resources as well.

6. Don't Buy More Storage, Cut Out Stuff

It can be so tempting when the toys are taking over to think of more storage solutions. I get that, and I am not saying we don't have a plastic tub of toys in the basement, but before you get another toy box, book shelf, or hot wheels shelf, why not just give things away? To have a house that makes sense, you need places for everything to go. If you no longer have enough destinations for toys, maybe there are too many toys. If you have so much storage that your kid can't see all of their toys in a day, you probably have more than they need.

passed to us by a neighbor, passed on to a third child in the neighborhood

7. Swap, Borrow, and Get it Used

The difference between a minimalist lifestyle and a house full of toys is seeing possessions as temporary. Join a library and you always have a resource for new books (and a place to connect with other moms and kids). Join your local freecycle or Buy Nothing groups, you can pass kids stuff around. Just ask friends if they want to do book or toy swaps to switch things up in your house.

 I feel like as kids, we treated our toys and collections like they were essential parts of our identities, and it made it hard to let them go even as adults. But your kid can still love Frozen without having every Elsa and Anna item in the world (is that even possible? God bless Disney and their marketing genius). Only a few things can be precious, everything else should be moved around before it sticks to a spot on the shelf.

Every parent of a toddler is constantly encouraging them to share (it's tough!), but this is a way to push that a step further, treating sharing as a part of life.

8. Have Confidence They Have Enough

This is easy to say but so hard to feel. Parents right now are under constant pressure about how they manage their kids, their time, their money, everything. We can look around and see someone else who is doing a better job in various ways. We feel self-concious because that Stay at Home mom gives them so much time (and loves to talk about it). We feel frustrated because we can't give our kids everything they want. We try to compensate by giving little gifts because we can see how happy it makes our kids, even for a second.

We have to have confidence we are giving our kids what they need. Parenting is so tough, because success can me so hard to define or measure- how do you ever know if you are doing alright? Sometimes shopping is as much about ourselves as our kids, because we can at least feel certain we are providing. A bigger house or well-dressed kid makes us feel like we are filling their needs well, not just enough.

But you are doing more than enough just by caring. There isn't a void that you need to fill. It's a cliche, but your kid really does just want to be with you. Go to a playground instead of a store, and you will give them something worth remembering. Get clothes and toys used and save your money. Your kid doesn't know the difference, and you just have to keep building yourself up that you are  doing great at this job just by caring and getting in there. I don't know how to build this confidence more other than reminding ourselves, but it's a constant battle we need to fight. Buying mostly doesn't make us do a better job, but getting in there does.

9. Use What You Have

We all know kids love cardboard boxes, but it is amazing how far you can make one cardboard box go for play time. Blanket forts make amazing memories too, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.

At my job, people donate all sorts of objects that could be "art supplies" for a shopping space and classes for kids. This includes baby food jars, toilet paper rolls, flooring samples, jewelry boxes, gift wrap, broken crayons- all kinds of stuff we tend to see as junk and throw away. But you reframe that for a kid (turn the jewelry box into a robot, use the toliet paper rolls to make fireworks, make a "home" for a stuffed animal), and you can provide hours of entertainment, conversation, learning, and creativity. This isn't conjecture, it is my job and I see it all the time. Junk, when mixed with creative framing, is always an opportunity. Need a rattle? Clean and fill an old bottle with beans.

 That kind of creative play isn't always easy to come up with, so thank goodness we live in the time of pinterest. You can find so many ideas on there.

10. Slow it Down and Just Be Together

I know I am so guilty of this one. As an introvert parent of an extreme extrovert, I often feel desperate for a minute to just catch my breath (or check my email), and some days I know I don't enjoy the time with my kid as much as I should. I feel sometimes like toys are partially just tools to give parents a minute.

Whenever an older generation parent tells me "Oh it goes so fast," I try hard not to roll my eyes. Really? Because this sleep deprivation is making everything move in slow motion.

But there is a lot of wisdom in the suggestion to let things go and slow down to our kids' speed. It doesn't mean we don't get those minutes or that we don't deserve a break while working and parenting, but when you are going to be there, really be there.

 The Bub and I have literally spent hours (this week) playing with a baseball hat and a pair of kitchen tongs. Even with older kids, you don't need many objects to have a perfectly great time. Go for a walk. Go to a playground. Just listen to them. Children are just tiny human beings, and they just want heard like everyone else. A game of tag (or robot tag) can be more fun than any toy, so the more you can focus when the quality time comes, the fewer things you need.



So there you have it, buy less and give more. Change the goals and you may just raise kids who aren't as caught up in this consumerist minefield we are all trying to navigate right now. We both know it creates a lot more work, a tremendous number of problems, and very little of the happiness or solutions that we are constantly promised. We can protect our children's futures from waste and from that constant want by shifting our attitudes now. Let's give ourselves a freaking break and give our kids less.

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Throwback Thursday- Minimizing and Tackling the Toys

This weekend, it’s time to tackle the ever-feared toy stash. We have had a child for a year and change- where did all this stuff come from? The Bub has so many toys that I don’t know that he could use them all if he wanted to, but so many of them are sweet gifts from loved ones, so it is hard to retire them. 

At the same time, I have enough friends and family with kids to know that the toy stashes grow exponentially, so my goal is to thin it out twice a year, because if it reaches past his toy box and his room, the collection is too much. Not to mention, there are plenty of kids out there in the world who don’t have oodles of toys, so we can donate some of ours and let them actually get good use. So the goal? Toys only live in this toy box and this bedroom. I want everything pared down so there isn’t immediate risk of spillover.

So this is my method.

Step One- Make one giant pile of toys. I have learned something about myself. Very often, things survive rounds and rounds of cleaning for no other reason than they are in their spot. It is easier to keep your spot if no one EVER uses you, so piles and stacks have lasted far too long because they made sense contextually. It’s kind of the difference between cleaning and moving. If you have a condensation point, the best first step I can think of is to remove all that stuff from their usual context. It makes a fresh start so much easier.

Step Two- I am going to split the toys into things played with and things grown out of or ignored. Still played with means he does more than throw it out of his toy box every once in a while. Yes, I recognize some things might be too soon developmentally, we will factor that in later.  If I can’t remember the last time he really used it, it makes the pile. Everything that is still in pretty active use goes in the keep pile, EXCEPT for doubles and triples, which may get pared down (really, how many stuffed octopuses and “Corduroy” books does one baby need?).

Step Three- Pull out the emotional keeps. Gifts from family members make most of the cut here, though I don’t know if that can always be the case. But for now, if it makes us too sad to say goodbye, it can be a sentimental keep. We are only having one bin a kid for this, so this will get to be a more and more exclusive club.

I kept SO many of my own toys for sentiment’s sake (because I am the most sentimental person ever), and as I have been cleaning out my space at my Dad’s house, it made me so sad to see perfectly good stuffed animals and toys that time has eaten through. Someone else could have played with those, and I hope some of them are getting played with as we speak. I will feel sad and sentimental about all of my bubby’s toys, because the time goes so fast, but keeping the stuff won’t keep him young, so I want a limit to keep the archives from getting out of control.

Step Four- What is he not quite ready for? There are some toys, just like clothes, that are meant for a bub further along. Those are going to go into the toyboxes upstairs in his room, where he spends less time but has pulled a number of favorites out of.

Step Five- What’s left? Time to get honest. If I can’t justify keeping it with a GOOD reason (and keeping it for the next baby can only be a good reason so many times), it’s time to make the donate pile. My goal is to shave off at least a quarter, better a third, of the toys to share with other kids who might need them.

I finished this plan, and I would say about a quarter (??) of his toys went up on Buy Nothing (have you joined one yet? DO IT. It will change your life) and some will head to Goodwill. Another quarter went into storage, and all of the toys are contained again! Woot! 

I have had and seen a few other great ideas for toys and how to approach toy collections more ethically (and minimally).

-        Buy or get things used- don’t just donate toys, go in the store and find toys to use. I am not sure anyone ever needs to buy a new matchbox car or Lamaze toy, because we see them everywhere. A quick trip to the laundry machine or wash gets them ready to go again. Thinking of toys as borrowed rather than long term possessions might help the pile up.

-        Sparkbox! My dad got this as The Bub’s gift for Christmas, and I think it is GENIUS. You subscribe to the box and then borrow toys at the correct developmental level, and send them back when they are out of use (like Netflix for toys). If your kid gets super-attached, you can buy the toy for a discounted price. I love this idea so much, and I will let you know how it goes.

-        Do a reverse advent calendar- Rather than just giving your children toys at Christmas time, why not make it a season of giving by having them contribute to a box like this one? They could actually give up toys during the Christmas season! I love this idea and I think we will try it next year.

More ideas?

Do you have a method for keeping toys in check? How much do you keep for sentimental reasons?  How do you teach your child generosity, gratefulness, and that material possessions aren’t everything? Is it even possible? 

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3 Things for Yesterday- Pizza, Tongs, and Looking for Cheap

1. Homemade Pizza- We found another meal we can make at home and get lots of participation from The Bub. He is all about putting the cheese on that pizza. Just very very slowly. I am also pleasantly surprised how much I like our helper tower from Kerf and Kind. I thought it would drive me crazy, and they looked really unsafe, but the Bub is happy to stay right there and help his dad cook. Pretty cool.

2. Tongs and a Baseball Hat- Why do people even buy children's toys? Why am I worried about these things? All my son wants is for me to take his hat off with kitchen tongs over and over again. For hours. It kind of makes me miss the good old garbage days.

3. Swing High, Swing Low- The Washingtonian posted an essay by one of their food critics about how to eat amazing food more often. His answer? Either eat in really low places (hole in the wall family-owned sorts of places) or really high (best places). He says we all spend too much time in the middle, and it keeps us from anything really good.

Agreed!

I feel like that is a key argument I am trying to make with this blog. The overwhelming attitude is that you try to get the nicest thing you can for the lowest price you can get it, and that means most of our stuff is not all that nice and not all that expensive. What if we changed the plot and swung high or low? He does say chains are generally middle of the road, but he doesn't touch on fast food, and I don't want to be that flippant here. I 100% believe that buying/getting things used is better than buying them at the Dollar Store or Walmart, but I know my privilege gives me time to track things down. You have to do what you have to do, but what if we all looked as Used as our other options instead of cheap and crappy but new?

For example, you want to buy a grill. I know what you want. You can get a grill that you know is well-made, contributing to the American economy, and lasting a long time (I am thinking an American-made Weber Grill- and not even the really exorbitant ones)

If you look at those numbers and say "Oh hell no" then rather than trying to parse the middle, full of mediocre, unethically-made grills, why not get something used? Ebay has hundreds of grills. Buy Nothing and garage sales are often selling grills? We think of Used stuff as junk someone else doesn't want, but why not save money and use something like that instead of still spending too much money on something that doesn't work?

In other words, Buy High or Buy Used. Can you do it for everything? Maybe not, but you can do it for most, and much like this guy's food budget, you can make more space for expensive purchases if you aren't always spending so much on the things you don't care about. I think this strategy is really working for our family, and maybe it would work for yours. Something to think about anyway.

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Wedding Wednesday- How to Save on Wedding Decorations

Oy, wedding costs! You go into it with a vision, and then slowly, that vision can be chipped away just by the shrinking amount still left in the budget. Before you are really planning, you spend a lot of time plotting decorations and cool details, but those are often the things that get cut for the sake of the event as a whole. Some of that is inevitable, but I do think there are cool ways to approach decorations that can save you BIG money.

Even better, if you shift your approach to the stuff you buy for the wedding, you can save things from landfills and create less waste. So many of these decor pieces are used one night only, but if they are shared between many couples, they can have much longer and happier lives.

1. Let the Space do the Work- You picked your venues for a reason. Start with that premise and just let the beauty of your wedding and reception spaces shine through. If it's already a good-looking spot, you may not need much. Don't pick a theme that doesn't fit the room, and you have already saved yourself tons of money.

2. Focus on Lighting (and someone can always lend you lights)- If I had to decorate a whole reception with one item, it would be white twinkly lights. Lighting sets the mood, makes everything look intentional (even when it isn't), and adds that magical thing. Even better, you can almost always find lighting as a rental or used. Twice this summer, I have seen brides gifted tons of Christmas lights for their weddings on Buy Nothing. If you do get lights lent to you, be sure to mark who each strand belongs to. Otherwise, you can get this high impact item for very cheap or even free.

3. DIY it- I love browsing the decoration ideas on Etsy, but I am often struck how many of the things on there can just be made- you don't need to buy them! Sparkly branches? Glue, glitter, and a walk in the woods. Tissue paper flowers? Buy some bulk tissue paper and wire. Peg doll cake topper? Paint that business yourself. We made our escort cards from paint swatches- it doesn't have to be expensive to be memorable and fun.

 When you buy decor, you are paying for time and skill. Work ahead so you have the time, and you can self-assess which skills are within your wheelhouse. You can a little bit of money go a lot further this way! Only trick is to plan ahead!

4. Focal Points over Details- I have seen so many weddings where there were fussy centerpiece things at the table but nowhere to look in the room. Make a few spots really worth looking at and don't bother trying to make every corner beautiful. People will only remember a handful of things anyway.

5. Multi-task- Use your favors or cake or guests as decor. You have millions of choices dependent on your favor, but it's a nice way to have something do double duty. I went to a wedding last year where the cakes were the centerpieces, which saves tons of money on flowers, and you get more time with cake, so who can complain? Stepping out of the box even a little might help you figure out how to make what you are already paying for a key part of the room.

6. Everything Doesn't Have to Match Perfectly- Matchy matchy can be great if you are meticulous, but a little variation never hurt anyone. One of my best friends is very detail-oriented and got all the colors to match perfectly at her wedding. And it looked amazing, but it doesn't have to go that way. If you can find 40 free plates that look one way and 50 that look another, and they both fit, just use them both. It's more important to have a set sense of style than an overly particular matching set mentality. That sense of style and vision for the big picture is what will have the impact in the end.

7. And Please Don't Monogram your Napkins- Why. Why. Why. Why is this even still a thing? If you are doing the little cocktail napkins, by all means, get them in a color that resonates with your scheme (even better, get them recycled from a company like Susty). But why is this insta-garbage a good time to remind people whose wedding they are attending? No one has forgotten, and honestly, it is never all that classy. Put your money into other details, and then whatever you don't use can be for another couple or your dinner parties. Put the date on your favors, and skip the rest.

8. Get It Used- This is the most cost-effective AND eco-friendly thing you can do for your wedding decorations. So many wedding decorations become one time use things, and I hate to think of all the perfectly useful objects that get thrown out. But the bright side is you can find so much out there if you just know where to look and don't mind some browsing.

You can find great used decorations:

Newlyweds- We all know these big life events happen in waves. If you have friends getting married before you, check and see what you can get off their hands once they are hitched. We definitely gave decorations away to the Boy's beloved cousin, and our lights to the high school for dances. Your friends will have stuff they are happy to part with. Doesn't perfectly match? Get creative about what you can stretch to fit or change the color of and then offer the rest to others. After your hitched you can pay the favor forward!

On Buy Nothing- Have you joined your local Buy Nothing Project yet? I have seen it all on there- people offering their table runners to other asking for (and receiving) tons of glass vases for their center pieces. Check with your Buy Nothing and you could save 100's of dollars.

Goodwill and other Consignment Stores- Sometimes, this kind of shopping is a bust, but if you know what you need, you might find a steal. Also, lots of cities have craft consignment stores that might sell the ribbon or fabric you need as well.

Online Resale sites- Thank goodness for the internet, because you can now find everything you would ever want to decorate with used. Cheaper, convenient, and keeping things out of landfills? Amazing.

Ruffled is an absolute treasure, and you can find so many gorgeous things on their "Recycle your Wedding" pages. They have at least a thousand items, so it's a lot to go through, but you are sure to find something.  Make sure to check the price against the brand new cost, and don't be afraid to ask them to lower it a little (I mean, what else are they going to do with 100 extra mason jars?) Browse often, because things are going up all the time! You can find a steal on beautiful decorations.I may actually buy some things from them for a non-matrimonial party.

Tradesy- Tradesy started as wedding only, but they have had enough success to branch out. They have all kinds of wedding stuff, from bridesmaid dresses to wedding papers, but their decorations section is especially amazing and well-organized. They have 5,500+ items up right now! Easier to browse than most of the other sites as well. Be sure to join their mailing list so you get even more money off.

Wedding Recycle- This website also has lots of selection (about 3000 items) and they are connected to the Can't Buy me Love Project, where you donate wedding dresses that can be given away to brides who otherwise couldn't afford them. Pretty cool.

So you may be overwhelmed with the amount of money you have already spent nailing down the DJ and planning with the caterer. I don't blame you- weddings are expensive! But decorations is an area that with a little creativity, you can make huge impact with a little bit of money.

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