Wedding Wednesday- 10 (Eco-friendly) Ways to be the Favorite Shower Guest

In one lifetime, most women will go to a LOT of bridal showers. Some will be of women who absolutely own our hearts. Others will be for our boyfriend's cousin's fiance where we will awkwardly sit in the corner. Either way, there will be a registry, and there will be a long chunk of shindig where we watch the bride, groom, or both open gifts.

So, how does bridal showering change when you are trying to be eco-friendly or buy local?

It can be a challenge. The couple gets to make an exact list of what they want, and if it turns out to be full of Made in Elsewhere junk that hurts your heart to buy, you can really feel stuck between compromising your own priorities or being the jerk buying decorative birdhouses.

These are my best ideas of how to be an awesome guest, how to break the mold enough to be interesting, but not so much that you are the one they tell stories about later. You can kick ass at bridal showering and stay eco-friendly! Here's how:

1. Pair the Personal with the Practical- Something small and personal makes for the most memorable gifts. One of our friends gave us a little stone with our faces painted on as a wedding gift. It is still one of my favorites. I also received two quilts and a blanket that I love and continue to be in use at our house. If you know the wedding colors or something they might need for the wedding, you could go that route. We received some things that were thoughtful, but not that useful (a lot of decorative platters) and some that were practical but not personal, but if you can combine registry desires with a personalized theme or something you made yourself, you can really nail the gift.

2. Forget Adulting, Put in for the Honeymoon- Looking at the registry and having trouble finding an eco-friendly option? Ugh, that smarts. The couple may be equally happy to accept money OR if you want to go big, ask after their honeymoon and put money specifically toward that. Wedding showers are especially all about practicality, and that can become a drag, so see if you can't invest in a cool memory for them on their trip.

There are registries specific for honeymoon funds, but even if they don't have one, I bet they will love the help. I know one of my friends skipped out on the activity she most wanted to do, because it was too expensive. In retrospect, I wish I could have skipped the wedding/shower gift and put money in for that. Stuff is just stuff, but making new and amazing memories can fuel a marriage.

3. Come Prepared to Have Fun- You want to give your bride a gift? Have a great time. The hosts can only prepare so much- once you get to a party, the fun of the shindig depends on all of the guests. Time to play silly games? Go into it with Olympic intensity to make it awesome. Small talking with the bride's crazy relatives? Lean in, my friend. Don't sit in the corner, only hang out with your people, or worst of all, let someone else be uncomfortable or alone.

At a wedding, in my expert opinion, you are contractually obligated to start the bride and groom's marriage off with a full dance floor and happy faces. Do the shower version of that.

4. Write a Good Note- Showers can be overwhelming events where the bride or groom doesn't get the time they hope for with each guest (I know I felt that way). No matter what you decide to gift, a thoughtful note and some encouragement might be the best gift you can give. Write something personal and genuine, and you could very well make his or her day when they can really go through things without an audience.

5. Skip the Lingerie- No one wants to open something seedy with all of their aunts watching. Maybe someone does, but if you aren't sure that is that bride, just skip it. If you want to do something romantic, buy some gift certificates to local restaurants and invest in some date nights. Seriously, underwear gifts are way more weird than clever.

6. Go in Together for One Gift- Don't hate- collaborate! You may not have the.budget for a really fabulous gift, but you could go in with other guests to go big. We get into this idea that more gifts= better gifts, but there is something to be said for a gift they may not be able to afford themselves. They can go buy a kitchen clock themselves, but a new set of knives might be way out of reach. Not to mention, this gesture might save them from the long, awkward present-opening part of the shindig, which is a lot of pressure.

You can do this two ways- collect money anonymously, and figure out what you an buy with it. Or, pick something first and let people donate with knowledge of the endpoint. Spend less time worrying whether the generosity is equal- it's not a competition.

7. Take Pictures- Ok, maybe this seems silly, but I think one of the best things you can do for a couple on the path to getting married (or having a baby) is to be positive, enthusiastic, and to help document any and all festivities. You get to the other end of things and can feel like it slipped through your fingers, so some pictures from others helps them have a fuller perspective on these days and all of the good stuff happening. It costs you no money, minimal time, and can really be so sweet and thoughtful.

8. Make the Switch or Get out of the Box- Not excited about the registry? You can try to do a switch out using my suggestions on The Eco-Friendly and Made in America Wedding Registry. Don't see anything that speaks to you? What are some other things they will definitely need? What about movie tickets or some other kind of date night? Gift cards for take out places with their menus? A cheese of the month club. Invest in the memories they will make as a couple! Or go a totally different route and cut out a practical concern for them- give them all the quarters they will ever need for laundry with The Simply Co soap and dryer balls. Get them all the tissues they will ever need and a throw blanket for sick days. Get them Amazon Prime or a netflix subscription. By shifting your paradigm to less concrete gifts, you can really come up with something cool.

9. Buy 3 Used Gifts Instead of One New One- This is true for baby showers too- some things on registries (measuring cups, anything glass, kitchen tools) are ALWAYS for sale in consignment and antique stores. Still look at what they want, but get something a little more special and a LOT more cost-effective. You can get 4 kitchen tools at Goodwill for the same cost as one from Bed Bath and Beyond. Way to help them fill up that kitchen AND reduce waste!

10. It's All About Them- Sometimes you know the bride or groom better than others; it is well worth it to keep who they are in mind before you go for it. Maybe they are the kind of people who would LOVE practical gifts like a year's worth of paper towels and toilet paper- think of the drudgery they can skip! Other people would hate it. If you aren't sure, call one of those numbers on the RSVP line and ask them. If it still seems risky, do 60% what they said they want and 40% something a little riskier.

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5 Things for the Last Five Days- Tables, Toothbrushes, and Ending Plastic in France

The election and the discourse around it has really been bumming me out the past few days (really, how did this happen?), but there are actually so many awesome things going on too, so let's focus on that.

1. Another Family Project- Our table and chairs cost us less than 150 dollars in all (Buy Nothing plus Antique Liquidators), but it also costs a lot of time. We have been working on this set off and on for a year (though progress was halted by a pregnant wife and Seattle rain). This week, the Boy's dad got in on the sanding action, and we have some real momentum going again. It sounds silly, but I am happy to have some sanding dust blowing around again, and even if the table has not been our most timely adventure, it will be that much cooler when it is done.

Preserve on Amazon

2. Preserve Kids' Toothbrushes- The Bub has graduated from his banana brush, and lucky for us, you can buy Preserve kids toothbrushes in bulk and save a little money. Even better, they donate money to saving wildlife for every brush you buy! Eat that Oral-B! Happy to be making a slightly better world for him. Also happy he will stop trying to steal our toothbrushes because he has his own. Because toothbrush-sharing is gross.

3.France Bans Plastic Cups and Cutlery- YES! Between this news and Morocco's ban on plastic bags, it is a good time to be a bougie environmentalist. Hopefully within our lifetime, everyone will follow suit so our oceans can start getting cleaner instead of nastier! If you want to join in on avoiding plastic disposables now, check out this post for tons of better options.

4. Okay, No More Buying Things- Holy crow, we bought a car. We have shared the same Dodge Neon that The Boy got for his 16th birthday for years. It will be good, because now we can fit another person in the backseat, so we aren't quite as stranded when we have company. And we got a Prius, so we will cut down on our footprint that way eventually (at least we are moving in the right direction). But having a child, refinancing a house, and buying a car in one month is enough adulting to last us the rest of the year, right? One of the bonuses of buying less is that you literally buy less, so I am done fretting over any adult money-spending for a while.

5. Seventh Generation was Bought out by Unilever- Why would I be excited this company I have loved was bought by a huge conglomerate? Won't I have to switch over a lot of our house basics? Probably, but that is Future Barbara's problem, and for now I am just pumped that eco-conscious companies have enough juice that they look like good investments. This is EXACTLY what this blog is talking about- the more you buy environmentally-responsible items, the more companies get the picture. The first place I read about this saw Seventh Generation as a niche market for hipsters, but I am not a hipster. Just a person who cares. Wrong, sucker! This is important, because it shows Seventh Generation and recycled paper goods and organic cleaning supplies in general have broad appeal. If you aren't on board yet, now is as good a time as any- just switching to recycled paper towels and tissues will save hundreds of thousands of trees.

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Quote of the Week- A Baby

I know I am not posting much! We have reached the end of my pre-posting, and I think I have a lot of weeks of uselessness ahead of me. Please be patient! I know you can barely survive without some straw-ranting!

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Five Favorite Etsy Stores- Recycled Jewelry

I want to keep highlighting amazing makers in the US, and I feel like my Etsy links can get caught in the more mainstream shuffle. So starting a series to focus on the greatest stuff we have found. 

from Twice Creations

Twice Creations (Austin, TX) sells "eco-elegant" jewelry. This is their slogan-

"Diamonds last forever, and so does plastic."

This company uses various plastic forms in their earrings and bracelets. I love these earrings that use recycled waste for simple, clean, and really mod designs.

from Dishfunctional Designs

Dishfunctional Designs (Emmaus, Pennsylvania) makes their jewelry out of broken china and porcelain. Come on, what a cool idea is that? Especially because those designs can be so intricate and lovely, but certainly don't seem to have much use in pieces. You can even take heirloom china and have her make custom pieces (a great way to share an heirloom piece among family members. Want more broken china options? Try Sister Zart, Andi Clarke Jewelry, Modern Garden, or the Artful Sojourn.

from Recycled Beautifully

Recycled Beautifully sells necklaces made out of recycled electrical wire. It sounds kind of cheesy, but when you look at the collection, they are so pretty! Perfect for someone who likes organic motifs.

from Restrung Jewelry

Restrung Jewelry (New Orleans) sells jewelry made out of recycled guitar strings. It's so New Orleans, I can barely stand it. The style is simple and clean, and I don't think you even have to be a musician to find their bracelets and earrings really cool (but it would make an amazing gift for the guitaristor music lover in your life). If you are looking for something more masculine, check out Fox Designs Jewelry out of Logan, Ohio- a little more butch but still great looking.

from Fabtabulous

Fabtabulous (Kansas City, Missouri) makes me smile, because they sell bracelets, necklaces, and other jewelry made out of recycled pop tabs. Genius and they are so cute! I would have never thought of this, but I love it. They also do wine charms and other jewelry out of guitar strings.

Want more? There are so many; look at Refunked Junkies (recycled typewrite keys), Forge to Eternity (recycled change), Double High Five (recycled flip flops), Hooptastic Earrings (recycled water bottles),  Tanith (recycled and steampunk), The Whirlwind (recycled fabric), and Pendent 13 (recycled electronics).

Want even more eco-friendly and local shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Ethical and Eco-Friendly Shopping Lists. 

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3 Things for Yesterday- Snappies, Orchestras, and Baking Puns

1. "Carini" and Snappies- Word of the day. Fun to watch the Bub trying to crack up his Nonno. Also, use his brother's various things as toys. That is some multi-tasking.

2. The Recycled Orchestra- These students in Paraguay play instruments made of garbage, making the most out of the giant landfill next door. It's depressing to see the challenges they face, but it is damn cool to see what they came up with. It touches my heart too, because it perfectly illustrates the connection between being creative and rethinking "waste." This is my favorite NPR story this week, and I am going to track down the documentary- Landfill Harmonic.

3. Mel and Sue- We are watching tons of Great British Bake Off in our post-baby hermiting with the Boy's parents. Sadly, this is paired with the news that Mel and Sue are leaving! Boo! Those ladies (and their awful and wonderful puns) are total gems, so it is such a bummer that they are leaving. We were completely sucked in yesterday, so its sad that it is ending as we are just becoming seriously addicted.

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10 Things for this Week- Welcoming Baby Bear

This week, we brought home our second baby, so life is 100% about getting everyone settled right now. I try to go lighter on the personal stuff, but this is my life right now. If you aren't interested, I promise there will be more posts about plastic straws in mere hours.

1. Brotherly Love- Not to get too saccharine, but I cannot imagine this whole "bringing a baby home to your toddler" thing going better. Bubba does call his brother Succulent, and he does talk a lot about how his brother is "eating boobs again," But all in all, this is hard to top.

2. Amazing Nurses and Doctors- We lucked out with our nurses this time, and even better, my actual doctor within the practice was on call that day, and that was awesome. It was a good reminder of how much someone who really cares about their job can make a difference, and I am seriously sending this nurse a card, because she was so amazing.

3. VBAC's are Overrated- Ok, maybe I am still too close to have much perspective, but now I have done both a vaginal birth and a c-section now. They both are solidly sucky and great in relatively equal measure. I am glad I did it, just to prove to myself I can, but beyond that, I don't think I gained much from the experience. You don't get a special medal for going through it, and in fact in my case, they took the Bub away for two hours, so my c-section felt a lot more about our bond than my vaginal birth did. What am I saying? You do what works for you, but like so many Mommy things, people's insistance that one route is infinitely greater mostly turns out to be a bunch of nonsense. Do what works for you, and let the rest go. If you have a healthy baby and momma, you have succeeded.

4. Top Pot Victory Doughnut- Alright, a few things about vbacs are way better. One of the biggest perks is that you can eat very soon after. It doesn't have to be a doughnut, but it certainly doesn't hurt. God bless my Mother for bringing me this doughnut. And on that note...

5. My Mom- She changed her flights last minute and flew the day after surgery to be there when the Little Bub was born. The day after surgery. At a moment's notice. I have to be one of the only laboring women in history who was asking her doctor to slow things down however possible. So grateful for this amazing person who springs into action when we need her and who really shows that when you care, nothing can get in your way. I have often said she is a badass angel, but this took it to a whole new level. Thank you God for putting such a wonderful person in our lives and in the delivery room with us.

6.Laura Linney, Patron Saint of Birth- What kind of cool is it that PBS was having a Downton Abbey marathon through Labor Day weekend while we were laboring? It was almost more Edith than we could stand, but it made everything a little more fun. And if it hadn't have been on, we really would have been in trouble. Or at least bored. We did watch something else while they killed off Sybil, because that just seemed unhelpful for childbirth.

7. Reusable Nursing Pads- Nursing moms everywhere, I beg of you, skip the disposable nursing pads and get something like these from Love your Reusables instead. I love them- way more comfortable, easily cleaned (I mean, really, it's just breast milk) and I can use the same small stack for the whole time instead of constantly creating more landfill-filler. It may seem more expensive, but the per use cost is so much lower.

8.A Semi-Sleeping Baby- I don't want to jinx us, but I am currently so excited to have a little one who will go back to sleep after he eats, rather than staying up for hours on end every time. Again, a lot of optimism at play here, but I am hopeful we might stay closer to human this round!

9. Etsy Going Home Clothes- I mean, it's dancing dinosaurs for goodness sake! I love this outfit from Little Beans Baby. If you want a great outfit for a little one at any age or moment, be sure to check Etsy first.

10. Roy Schneider in Jaws- Why do I find his giant glasses and turtleneck to be so on point? This movie is making me really think about things. Not so much sharks, just 1970's male fashion mostly. Also, why is his wife not wearing pants? Also, never turn your back to the ocean, people. Overall, I like the film way more than I thought I would, so that is interesting, but not as interesting as the strange appeal of Roy Schneider's face.

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Don't Buy Plastic Straws, Instead Try

from The Vinyl Visionary

If I have learned one thing from the blog's September Mission to Cut Out Plastic Straws, it is that people really love their straws. LOVE their straws. And that there are lots of times where a straw makes a whole lot more sense than not. Though I can dream of a perfect world where no one uses straws, that would also have to be a world without toddlers, hospital patients, and people with super sensitive teeth, among many things. And this blog advocates for a lot of things, but eliminating toddlers is not one of them.

So, if you are a big straw user, what do you do?

My mom carries a cup while she works, and she says that now she tries to use the same plastic straw for the week to cut down on her plastic usage. That's awesome! Except that sometimes these straws grow mold. Not awesome. Those bendy spots on the straws may save us from the agony of moving our head or our glass, but they are also liquid traps, so the longer you use them, the grosser they get. 

But Mom wants to cut down her straw use, so we looked at what other options she has to keep in her office and use during her work day. 

Most "Don't Use" posts can point to a specific company who is profitting off of poor labor practices, wasting fossil fuels, and taking advantage of Americans while marketing their "Americaness." This may seem different, because straws are free! 

Right? Wrong. 

Restaurants pay for straws, and that cost is factored in with all the costs in prices. Every time you use one, you speed up the time until the restaurant has to order more straws. So they are absolutely making someone money. But they have to sell a lot to make money, which might be part of why straws seem necessary/unavoidable now.

Need more proof that straws are making someone money? Let me introduce you to the plastic lobby- a gaggle of shockingly tough gems who are actively fighting to keep plastics in the mix, no matter how destructive and toxic they are. They fight plastic bag bans and straw initiatives like this one all over the country. Companies like Dow Chemical (one of the largest creators of plastics) fund the lobby to fight government initiatives, and they are surprisingly successful. This doesn't even include the horrors of bottled water and its advocates, but we can cut these companies off at the knees by just refusing their product. 

Some kickass people are turning down straws at every turn, and I love that. Amazing people like my Mom are cutting down their straw-usage by reusing- that is so important too. But I would rather my mom doesn't get mold-filled Diet Coke every day, so what other options exist? 

A plastic disposable straw might not cost you money, but that massive pile you will throw away is going to cost you, the environment, and future generations. The good news? At relatively low cost, you can cut out the straw forever. 

1. Just Say No- When you can, just pass on the straw. Saying no costs 0 dollars, and you may just get used to it. I will grant that there are people and times that really call for straws, but self-assess- is this really one of them? Are you suffering without a straw? We are all used to cheap and easy, but we also know it is costing us, so sometimes it's better to just pass.

ALSO, I have a toddler, so I understand that kids drinking out of glasses is a (very messy) pipe dream. At the same time, I now own a small army of sippy cups at home. When we go out to eat, I try to bring one with me so we can turn down the cup for him. We just pour some of our water in and throw it in the dishwasher when we get home. BAM! One less straw headed to the landfill. It's a weird habit to start, but it catches on easily enough. 

If you need straws, think about reusable options so you can still turn down that disposable plastic straw:

Hummingbird Glass Straws on Amazon

2. Glass Straws- I will be honest with you- I didn't even know this was a serious thing, but here they are! And they are eco-glorious. Made with glass, in America, these Hummingbird Glass Straws are total gems and a perfect fit for someone like my mom, who just needs a stash of straws at work for her diet coke. Might be great if you are a smoothie drinker at home (because nothing says "healthy breakfast drink" like sipping it out of a toxic chemical straw).

They have a bunch of options (including bent straws) and groupings, most of which include a cleaning brush, so look around before you buy. You can also look at options from Glass Masters Glass Straws (also amazing), Icosa Living, Straw Grace, or Alink (not as great, but still!).

Tranquilo from Amazon

3. Paper Straws-  Will they last you a week? No, probably not, but if you want to throw a party with milkshakes or you are a restaurant that wants to replace your plastic (God bless you if that is the case), paper straws are biodegradable, create no more waste, and are 100% the answer. I dream of a world where my kids think paper straws are the norm, and plastic straws are weird. My favorite paper straws are these ones from Tranquilo- not only are they biodegradable and made in the USA, the company also supports efforts to clean up our overpolluted oceans. Also, they have pirate straws.

If you want disposable straws, buy these ones! Are they as cheap? No, but they do 10000 times more good per straw, so I think this is a spot where it is worth it. 

Zicome from Amazon

4. Metal Straws- The best thing about these is that you can get one with a cute little brush that keeps these bad boys clean. So we ordered some of these Zicome metal straws that still have the bendy neck and come with a straw cleaner she can keep at work too. I also like that these would be tough enough to live in a purse. Simple and easy without adding to landfills.

Lots of options here too! Try Ehme, Accmor, Eco at Heart, and Chuzy Chef.

5. Silicone Straws- They do have reusable plastic straws as well, but honestly, I wouldn't recommend them. If you are going to go with a reusable straw, at least get something that won't be leaching chemicals into your drink and your mouth in a month or two. I couldn't find domestically-made silicon straws, but they are still a better option than plastic. Some options? Softy Straws, Housavvy Straws, and Green Paxx straws. 

And you thought plastic disposable straws were the only answer! Clearly there are all kinds of other amazing straws to use, and even if you love straws, you don't have to support the plastics lobby to enjoy your drink. You got this. Be sure to check out the other "Don't Buy, Instead Try" posts and all the other eco-friendly shopping ideas on my Giant List of Shopping Lists! 

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