Fourth Trimester Update- 3 Weeks and Feeling Fine-ish

When I pinterested "fourth trimester," I couldn't help but notice that every single option was either weight loss or breastfeeding related. Really? I am looking for some outfit ideas or cute posts on what the heck is normal, and all it seems a woman in her 4th trimester is supposed to care about is boobs? I know we are boobs to our infants, but are we just a set of nunjas to ourselves too? So much so that we are desperate to whittle everything else down? 

Boo. I say phooey to this. 

So I am going to try doing the Anti-Bumpwatch. The 4th trimester tends to be pretty alienating, because no one wants to talk about it, but does that really help anyone? It also tends to be treated as almost shameful- you hide your breastfeeding, you fight to get back to your pre-baby body, you hermit at home so people don't see you all discombobulated and pajamed. Where a pregnant body is seen as miraculous and beautiful (which it is), our new healing and STILL life-giving bodies don't garner much respect. 

Maybe it would be good to hear how some other people are going through the first months of their new infant. If nothing else, I can use it as a record later, and hopefully I want be too horrified what my sleep-deprived brain found relevant or funny. But know, other mothers are going through it too. You may feel alone, and maybe I won't have the same experiences because they are so individual, but somebody has gone through something similar. 

How Far Along- Baby Bear is 3 weeks old today!

My Weight- Last I checked, I am down 19 lbs from weight at my last doctor's appointment. 7 lbs baby, 12 lbs of all kinds of gross stuff. I am putting this in here because no one ever talks about it, so normal is impossible to figure out.

Baby Cuteness Rating- I would say that super fresh baby cuteness is less glowy, but he is getting curvier and less hairy (plus his stinky umbilical cord is gone) so his cuteness may be headed up overall. Still, I am starting to see hints of the phase where they stare through you and off at ghosts, which is like the sad puberty of infanthood. No one else will say it, but that second month is not the cutest.

And I am Feeling- Mostly good! We still have in-laws here, so I have lots of support. Also, unlike our first Bub, the Bear does not want to chill and watch Top Chef for hours after each feeding, so sleep is more of a thing. The downside is I am still healing and can't do a lot of what I want to, because VBAC's are overrated, and it turns out things don't have the bounceback they are advertised to. I don't like that I am overextending myself so much and so easily, and another 3 weeks of not being able to do what I want is mostly annoying. I am sure I felt this way with the c-section too, but I can't remember, so I am sour about my whole undercarriage now. You are designed to be the exit! Why are you so uncooperative!??

Most Bizarro Quirk of the Week- I got hives after seafood pasta last night. Let us hope that business is a fluke, because motherly sacrifice should not include mussels (even though for my mom it totally did. But come on karma, pick on somebody else).

Best Moment of the Week- My favorite moments are still when it feels like everyone is bonding and our 3 person clique is accepting it's new member. I caught the Bub rubbing his baby brother's feet while we watched Daniel Tiger, four of us to the couch. It was super cute. I couldn't be more pleased and proud of how generally accepting he has been. Also, going to the playground, because being outside is NICE.

Favorite Tool in my Arsenal- I got new baby washcloths from Bamboosa, and they really are super soft and nice, Would recommend for sure.

And We are Watching- Best British Bake Off. English people want everything crispy. They are so wrong about that. Also watched Jaws for the first time, and I liked it way better than I expected. That Roy Schneider and his summer turtlenecks really spoke to me.

And the Boy?- Started paternity leave this week, and he is all the sorts of awesome (even if his male privilege keeps his nips out of danger). He pays for his lack of nipple pain in diaper genie runs, so I can't be all that mad. Have 5th Harmony stuck in my head, because that man is going to be working from home.

Looking Forward To- Doing the Walk to End Alzheimers, because we can. Even if I can't finish it, I can still go. Ready to be a little less hermit-ish, but dreading my MIL leaving.

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Letter to Get Better- Pecado Bueno, Stop with the Plastic Straws!

Dear Pecado Bueno,

First, I would like to thank you for having my favorite pork tacos in Seattle. Are you the most authentic Mexican food in the city? Definitely not, but your pork is no joke, and we love your deliciousness. Even better, you have managed to cultivate an atmosphere where around dinner time there are lots of real grownups having happy hour, but we don't feel unwelcome with our crazed toddler. That's a magical gift to parents who don't want to only eat at horrible chains or at 2:30.

So thank you, for your tacos and your awesomeness.

The problem is this. Anytime we order a pop or a drink at your restaurant, you already have an unwrapped straw in the glass. It makes sense with your bar/ restaurant midpoint style, but it is a total bummer. Plastic straws are a huge threat to our oceans and our sea life. The average American makes a larger volume of waste with straws than with cars, and straws are worse because they are so small they can be hard to clean up. They also get can be ingested by sea life like turtles (have you seen the videos? they are haunting). Despite the ways we know it is ravaging our oceans, American restaurants serve 500 million straws a day. That includes you. You can read a lot more about why this matters here.

Plastic will outnumber fish in the oceans by 2050 at this rate, and restaurants like yours can play a huge role in reversing this trend.

How to do it? Simple, stop serving straws no one is asking for. Studies show that most people won't ask for a straw if they aren't given one (because we all can handle a regular cup), so if you make straws by request only, you can cut down most of your straw use immediately. If you want to do even better by our oceans, switch to paper straws! They are more expensive, but if you are only handing them one when someone asks, the cost might still be less.

It's a big change, I know, and just one more thing for a business to worry about. Other restaurants are starting to take this route, and it is working. You can put up signs so your customers know what is up! Some restaurants are even using buttons. If you want more tips for how to make this switch for your margaritas and fanta (that's what we drink. Not together though, that would be gross), try The Last Plastic Straw.

I do love your tacos, but I know you could make your business that much better (especially in eco-friendly Seattle) by cutting out these harmful and totally unnecessary straws.

Thanks!

Sunshine Guerrilla

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Wedding Wednesday- 10 (Eco-friendly) Ways to be the Favorite Shower Guest

In one lifetime, most women will go to a LOT of bridal showers. Some will be of women who absolutely own our hearts. Others will be for our boyfriend's cousin's fiance where we will awkwardly sit in the corner. Either way, there will be a registry, and there will be a long chunk of shindig where we watch the bride, groom, or both open gifts.

So, how does bridal showering change when you are trying to be eco-friendly or buy local?

It can be a challenge. The couple gets to make an exact list of what they want, and if it turns out to be full of Made in Elsewhere junk that hurts your heart to buy, you can really feel stuck between compromising your own priorities or being the jerk buying decorative birdhouses.

These are my best ideas of how to be an awesome guest, how to break the mold enough to be interesting, but not so much that you are the one they tell stories about later. You can kick ass at bridal showering and stay eco-friendly! Here's how:

1. Pair the Personal with the Practical- Something small and personal makes for the most memorable gifts. One of our friends gave us a little stone with our faces painted on as a wedding gift. It is still one of my favorites. I also received two quilts and a blanket that I love and continue to be in use at our house. If you know the wedding colors or something they might need for the wedding, you could go that route. We received some things that were thoughtful, but not that useful (a lot of decorative platters) and some that were practical but not personal, but if you can combine registry desires with a personalized theme or something you made yourself, you can really nail the gift.

2. Forget Adulting, Put in for the Honeymoon- Looking at the registry and having trouble finding an eco-friendly option? Ugh, that smarts. The couple may be equally happy to accept money OR if you want to go big, ask after their honeymoon and put money specifically toward that. Wedding showers are especially all about practicality, and that can become a drag, so see if you can't invest in a cool memory for them on their trip.

There are registries specific for honeymoon funds, but even if they don't have one, I bet they will love the help. I know one of my friends skipped out on the activity she most wanted to do, because it was too expensive. In retrospect, I wish I could have skipped the wedding/shower gift and put money in for that. Stuff is just stuff, but making new and amazing memories can fuel a marriage.

3. Come Prepared to Have Fun- You want to give your bride a gift? Have a great time. The hosts can only prepare so much- once you get to a party, the fun of the shindig depends on all of the guests. Time to play silly games? Go into it with Olympic intensity to make it awesome. Small talking with the bride's crazy relatives? Lean in, my friend. Don't sit in the corner, only hang out with your people, or worst of all, let someone else be uncomfortable or alone.

At a wedding, in my expert opinion, you are contractually obligated to start the bride and groom's marriage off with a full dance floor and happy faces. Do the shower version of that.

4. Write a Good Note- Showers can be overwhelming events where the bride or groom doesn't get the time they hope for with each guest (I know I felt that way). No matter what you decide to gift, a thoughtful note and some encouragement might be the best gift you can give. Write something personal and genuine, and you could very well make his or her day when they can really go through things without an audience.

5. Skip the Lingerie- No one wants to open something seedy with all of their aunts watching. Maybe someone does, but if you aren't sure that is that bride, just skip it. If you want to do something romantic, buy some gift certificates to local restaurants and invest in some date nights. Seriously, underwear gifts are way more weird than clever.

6. Go in Together for One Gift- Don't hate- collaborate! You may not have the.budget for a really fabulous gift, but you could go in with other guests to go big. We get into this idea that more gifts= better gifts, but there is something to be said for a gift they may not be able to afford themselves. They can go buy a kitchen clock themselves, but a new set of knives might be way out of reach. Not to mention, this gesture might save them from the long, awkward present-opening part of the shindig, which is a lot of pressure.

You can do this two ways- collect money anonymously, and figure out what you an buy with it. Or, pick something first and let people donate with knowledge of the endpoint. Spend less time worrying whether the generosity is equal- it's not a competition.

7. Take Pictures- Ok, maybe this seems silly, but I think one of the best things you can do for a couple on the path to getting married (or having a baby) is to be positive, enthusiastic, and to help document any and all festivities. You get to the other end of things and can feel like it slipped through your fingers, so some pictures from others helps them have a fuller perspective on these days and all of the good stuff happening. It costs you no money, minimal time, and can really be so sweet and thoughtful.

8. Make the Switch or Get out of the Box- Not excited about the registry? You can try to do a switch out using my suggestions on The Eco-Friendly and Made in America Wedding Registry. Don't see anything that speaks to you? What are some other things they will definitely need? What about movie tickets or some other kind of date night? Gift cards for take out places with their menus? A cheese of the month club. Invest in the memories they will make as a couple! Or go a totally different route and cut out a practical concern for them- give them all the quarters they will ever need for laundry with The Simply Co soap and dryer balls. Get them all the tissues they will ever need and a throw blanket for sick days. Get them Amazon Prime or a netflix subscription. By shifting your paradigm to less concrete gifts, you can really come up with something cool.

9. Buy 3 Used Gifts Instead of One New One- This is true for baby showers too- some things on registries (measuring cups, anything glass, kitchen tools) are ALWAYS for sale in consignment and antique stores. Still look at what they want, but get something a little more special and a LOT more cost-effective. You can get 4 kitchen tools at Goodwill for the same cost as one from Bed Bath and Beyond. Way to help them fill up that kitchen AND reduce waste!

10. It's All About Them- Sometimes you know the bride or groom better than others; it is well worth it to keep who they are in mind before you go for it. Maybe they are the kind of people who would LOVE practical gifts like a year's worth of paper towels and toilet paper- think of the drudgery they can skip! Other people would hate it. If you aren't sure, call one of those numbers on the RSVP line and ask them. If it still seems risky, do 60% what they said they want and 40% something a little riskier.

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5 Things for the Last Five Days- Tables, Toothbrushes, and Ending Plastic in France

The election and the discourse around it has really been bumming me out the past few days (really, how did this happen?), but there are actually so many awesome things going on too, so let's focus on that.

1. Another Family Project- Our table and chairs cost us less than 150 dollars in all (Buy Nothing plus Antique Liquidators), but it also costs a lot of time. We have been working on this set off and on for a year (though progress was halted by a pregnant wife and Seattle rain). This week, the Boy's dad got in on the sanding action, and we have some real momentum going again. It sounds silly, but I am happy to have some sanding dust blowing around again, and even if the table has not been our most timely adventure, it will be that much cooler when it is done.

Preserve on Amazon

2. Preserve Kids' Toothbrushes- The Bub has graduated from his banana brush, and lucky for us, you can buy Preserve kids toothbrushes in bulk and save a little money. Even better, they donate money to saving wildlife for every brush you buy! Eat that Oral-B! Happy to be making a slightly better world for him. Also happy he will stop trying to steal our toothbrushes because he has his own. Because toothbrush-sharing is gross.

3.France Bans Plastic Cups and Cutlery- YES! Between this news and Morocco's ban on plastic bags, it is a good time to be a bougie environmentalist. Hopefully within our lifetime, everyone will follow suit so our oceans can start getting cleaner instead of nastier! If you want to join in on avoiding plastic disposables now, check out this post for tons of better options.

4. Okay, No More Buying Things- Holy crow, we bought a car. We have shared the same Dodge Neon that The Boy got for his 16th birthday for years. It will be good, because now we can fit another person in the backseat, so we aren't quite as stranded when we have company. And we got a Prius, so we will cut down on our footprint that way eventually (at least we are moving in the right direction). But having a child, refinancing a house, and buying a car in one month is enough adulting to last us the rest of the year, right? One of the bonuses of buying less is that you literally buy less, so I am done fretting over any adult money-spending for a while.

5. Seventh Generation was Bought out by Unilever- Why would I be excited this company I have loved was bought by a huge conglomerate? Won't I have to switch over a lot of our house basics? Probably, but that is Future Barbara's problem, and for now I am just pumped that eco-conscious companies have enough juice that they look like good investments. This is EXACTLY what this blog is talking about- the more you buy environmentally-responsible items, the more companies get the picture. The first place I read about this saw Seventh Generation as a niche market for hipsters, but I am not a hipster. Just a person who cares. Wrong, sucker! This is important, because it shows Seventh Generation and recycled paper goods and organic cleaning supplies in general have broad appeal. If you aren't on board yet, now is as good a time as any- just switching to recycled paper towels and tissues will save hundreds of thousands of trees.

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Quote of the Week- A Baby

I know I am not posting much! We have reached the end of my pre-posting, and I think I have a lot of weeks of uselessness ahead of me. Please be patient! I know you can barely survive without some straw-ranting!

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Five Favorite Etsy Stores- Recycled Jewelry

I want to keep highlighting amazing makers in the US, and I feel like my Etsy links can get caught in the more mainstream shuffle. So starting a series to focus on the greatest stuff we have found. 

from Twice Creations

Twice Creations (Austin, TX) sells "eco-elegant" jewelry. This is their slogan-

"Diamonds last forever, and so does plastic."

This company uses various plastic forms in their earrings and bracelets. I love these earrings that use recycled waste for simple, clean, and really mod designs.

from Dishfunctional Designs

Dishfunctional Designs (Emmaus, Pennsylvania) makes their jewelry out of broken china and porcelain. Come on, what a cool idea is that? Especially because those designs can be so intricate and lovely, but certainly don't seem to have much use in pieces. You can even take heirloom china and have her make custom pieces (a great way to share an heirloom piece among family members. Want more broken china options? Try Sister Zart, Andi Clarke Jewelry, Modern Garden, or the Artful Sojourn.

from Recycled Beautifully

Recycled Beautifully sells necklaces made out of recycled electrical wire. It sounds kind of cheesy, but when you look at the collection, they are so pretty! Perfect for someone who likes organic motifs.

from Restrung Jewelry

Restrung Jewelry (New Orleans) sells jewelry made out of recycled guitar strings. It's so New Orleans, I can barely stand it. The style is simple and clean, and I don't think you even have to be a musician to find their bracelets and earrings really cool (but it would make an amazing gift for the guitaristor music lover in your life). If you are looking for something more masculine, check out Fox Designs Jewelry out of Logan, Ohio- a little more butch but still great looking.

from Fabtabulous

Fabtabulous (Kansas City, Missouri) makes me smile, because they sell bracelets, necklaces, and other jewelry made out of recycled pop tabs. Genius and they are so cute! I would have never thought of this, but I love it. They also do wine charms and other jewelry out of guitar strings.

Want more? There are so many; look at Refunked Junkies (recycled typewrite keys), Forge to Eternity (recycled change), Double High Five (recycled flip flops), Hooptastic Earrings (recycled water bottles),  Tanith (recycled and steampunk), The Whirlwind (recycled fabric), and Pendent 13 (recycled electronics).

Want even more eco-friendly and local shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Ethical and Eco-Friendly Shopping Lists. 

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3 Things for Yesterday- Snappies, Orchestras, and Baking Puns

1. "Carini" and Snappies- Word of the day. Fun to watch the Bub trying to crack up his Nonno. Also, use his brother's various things as toys. That is some multi-tasking.

2. The Recycled Orchestra- These students in Paraguay play instruments made of garbage, making the most out of the giant landfill next door. It's depressing to see the challenges they face, but it is damn cool to see what they came up with. It touches my heart too, because it perfectly illustrates the connection between being creative and rethinking "waste." This is my favorite NPR story this week, and I am going to track down the documentary- Landfill Harmonic.

3. Mel and Sue- We are watching tons of Great British Bake Off in our post-baby hermiting with the Boy's parents. Sadly, this is paired with the news that Mel and Sue are leaving! Boo! Those ladies (and their awful and wonderful puns) are total gems, so it is such a bummer that they are leaving. We were completely sucked in yesterday, so its sad that it is ending as we are just becoming seriously addicted.

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