Five Favorite Etsy Stores- Halloween Costumes for Baby

I want to keep highlighting amazing makers in the US, and I feel like my Etsy links can get caught in the more mainstream shuffle. So starting a series to focus on the greatest stuff we have found. 

As a side note, you can find costumes for little ones in all sorts of consignment stores, and it makes so much sense, because especially when they are this little, costumes can't get much reuse. If you are going to buy a super original and adorable (and probably expensive) Etsy costume this year, get something in consignment next year. Alternating between these routes will even out to be comparable to buying those plastic bags filled with polyester from Target, K Mart, or Walmart. It's a different approach, but it might reap some cool rewards.

from Creative Dragonfly

Creative Dragonfly (Florida) makes crotchet costumes, but the clear bread and butter here is little mermaid tails for newborns. I mean, come on. This business is cute and actually takes advantage of your child's immobility AND their inability to say no. Bwahaha. Enjoy it, because you gave them life! Don't have a merperson in your household? How about a hungry little caterpillar? They have this too, and it is so genius and cute.

from The Wishing Elephant

If you are looking for cute, but you want to see a lot of options, try The Wishing Elephant (New Hampshire). And its clear they have amazing designs and tons of positive reviews. They have such a wide bunch of baby costumes- the Staypuff marshmallow man, a pineapple, C3P0, and a swan tutu (it's so good. Somebody dress their baby at Bjork). Lovely choices and sparkling reviews! My favorite is their flamingo dress. The fatter the baby, the better.

from Boo Bah Blue

Boo Bah Blue (Washington) sells the kind of costumes you imagine you would make if you actually sewed things. They kind of look like costumes from old 70's Halloween pictures, and in the best way. Plus, a toddler dressed as an ewok can't be denied.

from The Costume Cafe

The Costume Cafe (Austin, TX) is popular enough that they are done taking orders for Halloween a month in advance (crud!), but if you want to dress your spawn as food (and who can blame you?), I would start here. Their costumes sometimes look simple, but they have really thoughtful and funny details sure to make their getups a huge hit. Plus, the hats. The hats!

from KidHub

Last year, I bought one of these dinosaur hoodies from KidHub, and it is so well-made and adorable. The Bub wore it out all the time. Even better, the costume is incredibly low key and non-fussy, so if you have an uncooperative toddler (or very cold weather) this could be the ticket. Also, I think it would look damn cute with a tutu, which is really the best part of having a little girl.

Want even more eco-friendly and local shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Ethical and Eco-Friendly Shopping Lists. 

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9 Things for the Last 9 Days- Starting the Fall with the Bub

 1. Baby Handprint Ornaments-  We did these with the Bub too, and what I like most about them is that when I look at them, I can still hear the screams. I kid, sort of. Wow, my children hate doing them, but I didn't much enjoy labor, so it seems fair. They both produce something cute, and I like that these are basically the first of many sentimental art projects they will hate doing. Sorry boys, I am your mother and you are stuck with me.

2. Show me your Mumu- I am in a wedding later this year and have been on the hunt for a flattering dress, Made in America, of a certain length and color. Easy right? Well, I have found a bunch that fit the bill thanks to this company Show me your Mumu that still manufactures in the USA and has dresses so flattering and chic your bridesmaids might actually love them. I wish they had been around when we got married,

 3. This Year's Walk to End Alzheimer's- I didn't think I would be able to go, so I was especially glad to be there. I was also happy to do the walk with my in-laws, because the tradition is really about my husband's family, so it made it more special to share in the chaos with them. I also thought this year was in the nicest spot so far in Seattle, and it felt like it had a really enthusiastic and positive energy (last year didn't, but it was a much wetter and greyer day).

4. Breastfeeding in Seattle Center Surrounded by People- Just add it to my list of weird places where the boobs have been out. I don't think people cared, and I love my covered goods breastfeeding cover for being a nice scarf to just wear as well as a cover for everything. I can already see how people with 2 children lose steam for getting out in the world, but I want the new baby to keep getting out there too, so tools like these really help.

5. Fall- I could not be happier that fall is here. For me, this season feels like a fresh start, everything smells good, and the world is covered in color. I get to wear layers and put decorations up, so I can't complain about life right now. Seotember October, and November are the best. Excited for The Baby Bear's first fall, because his bright eyes just drink everything in.

6. Wall-E- You hear a lot about little ones liking Finding Nemo or Cars, but The Bub has just been captivated by Wall-E. You know that Pixar rocks what they do when a two year old is totally enamored from the first minute. I love that movie in general, but I love it even more now.

7. Green Onion and Recycled Plastic- Who would have guessed we would have a kid so granola that he likes sitting, eating his garden green onions, on that all-recycled plastic bench. Different than the life I thought my kids would have, but I like when things are happy and slow like this. 

8. Our First Homemade Pesto- The Boy made it with his mom, and it makes my life. I feel excited and proud that at the end of this summer, we weren't totally defeated by the "growing your own food" garden experiment. We certainly aren't self-sufficient, but it is still cool to make applesauce, pesto, chimichurri and more with the plants from our own yard. If nothing else, everyone should have a herb garden. It has saved us so much money!

9. Barb- Yes, we are finally watching Stranger Things. Yes, it is as good as everyone says. We are only halfway, but the third episodes is one of the best episodes of any television show I have seen ever. People talk about the show in terms of Spielberg and nostalgia, but you could also bring iconicity into the conversation. How do you choose details that are striking enough that they stick immediately? Because that is what is happening here, and the icon of my heart is Barb. In a world full of Nancies, be a Barb.

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Little Green Dress- What Works to Wear While Nursing

While you are pregnant, you hear over and over that you look beautiful and that you are doing something miraculous. Fourth trimester, not so much. The only real impulse we see toward the fourth trimester is to render it invisible- the idea is that infant mothers should stay home, put their boobs away, and get back to their "pre-baby bodies" as quickly as possible.

Well, excuse me for existing. Let me just put on my invisibility cloak.

 If 4th trimester mamas have any kind of fashion profile, I would guess it is old pajamas with baby puke on it and unwashed hair. I can still remember going to our infant care class, and while watching the movie (made ten to fifteen years ago), being horrified at the ridiculous black hole of sexiness that were the women nursing. I mean, nipples take on a new role after you see them in a nursing diagram. Also, God bless all participants for being willing to be filmed in their sad pajamas. Now, the second time around, I know there is some truth to the horrors of the sad jammies, but not as much as you would think.

The fourth trimester is not the sad, banal pass through people make it out to be.

Women in their 4th trimester are still pretty damn miraculous. They made a person, they got that person out, and now their body is healing and changing all over again. Not to mention their body somehow can make enough food to be the only thing their baby needs to start their life. Did you know breast milk can actually help heal the baby? Forget hiding- those things deserve their own parade!

I don't want to spend the next six months feeling like a walking nipple diagram, and I am not going into hiding either.I have done this once already, and I know some of this is inevitable, but I don't think I spent those post-partum months looking like a dirty pile of laundry. That's just a bummer. I also don't want to leave my house looking like I am sleepwalking, even if that isn't that far from the truth.


With all of the writing on what to wear while pregnant, you can't find much at all about how to rock the new mom phase (true for non-nursers as well). I think the general sentiment is that it is ok to give up at this juncture, but I refuse! That being said, most of the last month and a half, I have looked like this:

The trick is to find a balance between that comfort/ convenience and to treat yourself as beautiful, because you still are. If pregnant bodies are beautiful and miraculous, so is the body you have now (maybe even more so).  I have learned some things  about what works for nursing and transitioning other than my eeyore pajama pants (super sad. also, I am wearing them as I write this). Nursing poses all sorts of challenges, so I would love to hear what works for you as well! These are my best tips for dressing in those first few months:

1. Thred Up is your New Best Friend- The first time around, I bought a pile of cheapo clothes from Old Navy in a larger size to get me through. It makes sense- your regular clothes and most of your maternity stuff won't work, but you will be back to something more familiar before you know  it, so why waste a bunch of money? A couple of reasons. First, the phase might go longer than you think (or you could be back here again), so the jeans I bought (and a few tops) fell apart so much that I can't use them again. Secondly, Old Navy's clothes are so cheap because they take advantage of cheap and unethical labor- it's just not worth it.

Instead, I highly recommend buying anything you need for this stage at the thrift store. Don't have a good one nearby? Or (more likely) don't have the time for excessive browsing now? Then try Thread Up. I bought every piece for this phase from them this time. I love what I got, it's well-made, it was cheaper than a lot of what I got last time, and I can feel alright if it comes to an untimely (or pukey) end. Fit is going to be a moving target anyway, so I highly recommend buying your new mom wear used,

2. Embrace the Button Up- In the previously mentioned nipple horror film, the new moms were whipping themselves out from the bottom of their shirts. I refuse to give gravity any help, so my boobs only travel upwards. Because of this, there are two options- low cut tops and button-ups. I also have ginormous unruly boobs, constantly trying to find my babies as if he is Sauron and they are the ring. So I have found Buttons are a nursing woman's best friend, that she can free herself in minutes while flashing slightly fewer people. So far, my favorites are long tunics with buttons and soft stretchy jeans or leggings. I even do dresses with buttons.



3. Belts- Yep, they still help. A good investment that can move through sizes with you. Waists are everyone's friend. Just make sure they are easy to get off so you can be comfy while nursing.

from https://www.etsy.com/transaction/238927482

4. Nursing Covers Masquerading as Scarves- Have you seen most nursing covers? They look like puppet theaters mated with seafood restaurant bibs.I don't want to fight with them,  but I would like there to be at least a few people on this Earth who I haven't flashed. Even just one. I found nursing covers on etsy that on first glance just look like infinity scarves but are big (and thin) enough to make really great covers. I also love these ones from Covered Goods, which have a little more stretch (perfect at certain moments).

Even though I am not new at nursing, the Baby Bear is, so I like being able to see him and help him.Plus, these minimize our baggage, which is the key to active and sane parenting. So, if I want to breastfeed in the middle of Seattle Center while eating a doughnut, I can.

5. Hats and Boots- I don't skip showers often, but they do sometimes land in the evening and both boys have  started his day by spitting up in my hair (and the Mom haircut suddenly makes sense). Hats really help cover that mess up. Both hats and boots can make any outfit look like you did it on purpose.In the right, I am literally wearing pajamas, but I look moderately functional, right?

 

5. Stepped Up Sweats- Modcloth has a series of sweater/ sweatshirts in a bunch of colors called Airport Greeting Cardigan that I swear was designed for nursing.  It has a nice drape so it looks more like you aren't wearing cozy home clothes, the zipper means you can get it off quickly (and it still looks nice open if you aren't quite there yet), and it fasten off the center of your body, so your spawn doesn't get uncomfortable zipper face. It's not cheap, but they always have it in some colors, and lower selling colors are often on sale. I got a charcoal one and liked it so much that The Boy got me an oatmeal one for Christmas.

 6. Long Tank Tops- The last thing you need to mess with when nursing is your butt hanging out. They can also be nice to just feel like everything is held in. I love the tank tops from M Rena; they are soft, extra long, and made in America! Nothing like a practical buy that helps an American business.

 7. Don't Be Too Quick to Turn in your Maternity Clothes- Everybody loses weight in different ways, and there is no shame in getting a little more of your money's worth out of what you bought before digging through what has long been put away. When planning for the fourth trimester, assume you will use the 2nd trimester clothes again (if you are really on point, buy pregnancy clothes that will work for nursing.

Both times in the first few weeks after the birth, I lost more than half of the weight I gained (we'll call this the Baby and Support chunk), the other bit didn't budge (I will guess that is the cookie weight, and it was worth it). This time, I know once I hit a certain point, the weightloss will be slow and just happen as I can be more active. It would be great to bounce back into my normal clothes, but that's fruitless energy to worry about. It turns out that my maternity jeans are way more kind to c-section scars, and a couple of my stretchy, buttoned maternity tops have been the best for yanking out the nunjas. I also like the feeling of my tummy being supported right now. I won't retire my maternity jeans for at least 3 to 5 months.

8. Bras make all the difference- Do not buy anything that looks less powerful than your regular bra. Medela and others sell "Night" bras that basically are built like a training bra. That's nonsense. I had one, it was horrible on all counts. Save your money.

Snaps in the straps (no one needs to struggle here), snaps in the back (don't fall for the sports bra business, because your boobs will resemble James's Giant Peach), and don't have an underwire (ow).  This has been the magic formula for me. I like Bella Materna bras, though I think most are imported now.

9. Maxi Dresses- Comfy and you look put together with minimal effort. I recommend wrap dresses for work or more formal events where your boobs still need an easy exit. I still wear my Breezy Night Stroll dress every week.

10. Bring Yourself a  Change of Clothes- Trust me. Just go get a dark colored maternity t shirt, put it in a bag with back ups for everyone else, and put it in the trunk of your car or basket of your stroller. You will get puked on. Just be prepared.

I hope this helps some poor souls like me who want the internet's help in strategizing their boob cover.  I know I said I am trying to avoid excuses, but if you just had a baby, you just had a freaking baby. If you aren't a celebrity who creepily bounces back into their bikini, or you have a colicky baby, or you just don't care, more power to you- you just had a freaking baby.

You aren't obligated to look pretty or disappear or do anything regarding your looks- you just had a baby for goodness sakes!

 The most important thing, I think, is not forgetting about yourself in all the craziness. I like putting a little thought into this, because it is easy for me to let self-care slide completely. Everybody gets through this phase in different ways, so I would like to hear your strategies!

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Five Favorite Etsy Stores- Keeping Warm

I want to keep highlighting amazing makers in the US, and I feel like my Etsy links can get caught in the more mainstream shuffle. So starting a series to focus on the greatest stuff we have found. 

It's getting colder! Yay! If you are like me, you have been dying to get back to your fall clothes, layers, and warm blankets. If you are looking to replace something, or you need to buy a gift, Etsy has you covered. Let's do this.

from The Knot and Chain

The Knot and Chain (Portland, Oregon) sells adorable knit hats with bear ears on them. Maybe too cutesy for some, but I think it is just the right amount of adorable. I would wear this, because I think the neutral colors help them ride that line. I love Yokoo knits as well, because they are also highly stylized and modern. 

from Iris Mint

There are so many gorgeous knits and crotchet pieces available on Etsy, so I won't possibly be able to point even to all of the great ones. I do especially love Iris Mint knits out of Boston. Their scarves have the perfect balance of coziness and style. They look consistently chic, and I don't know how I would pick one!

from Mad about Mittens

Mad About Mittens (Montana) sells really adorable mittens made from reclaimed knits. The style of these are really cute. They look great and use recycled materials, double win! Perfect gift. You can also try Made Again Mittens (from Minnesota) or Miracle Mittens (Pennsylvania) for more styles and maybe a shorter shipping distance.

from Lily and Peabody

Lily and Peabody (San Diego) sells gorgeous chunky knit blankets that look perfect for a cozy netflixy day. I feel like throw blankets are the kind of thing you can buy kind of willy nilly, but finding one with great style can make a space. These ones from The Prairie Boutique (from Arizona) is less stylish, but looks just as cozy. Check Nursey Knits and Colorways Gallery as well. '

from ABC Crochet

Lastly, I love the cozy ABC Crochets, though it's hard not to recommend the crochet bikini tops in their store, because they just make me smile! I want to meet the ladies who have warm nunjas and cold everything else!

Want more warm and fuzzy? Of course! Check out these stores as well- Designs by Elena, Knitting Wonders, Unique Knit Designs, Smitten Kitten Originals, Rosehip Lane Knits, Avaneska, Gypsy Street Stuff, and Knit Couture Co.

Want even more eco-friendly and local shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Ethical and Eco-Friendly Shopping Lists. 

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Fourth Trimester Update- 3 Weeks and Feeling Fine-ish

When I pinterested "fourth trimester," I couldn't help but notice that every single option was either weight loss or breastfeeding related. Really? I am looking for some outfit ideas or cute posts on what the heck is normal, and all it seems a woman in her 4th trimester is supposed to care about is boobs? I know we are boobs to our infants, but are we just a set of nunjas to ourselves too? So much so that we are desperate to whittle everything else down? 

Boo. I say phooey to this. 

So I am going to try doing the Anti-Bumpwatch. The 4th trimester tends to be pretty alienating, because no one wants to talk about it, but does that really help anyone? It also tends to be treated as almost shameful- you hide your breastfeeding, you fight to get back to your pre-baby body, you hermit at home so people don't see you all discombobulated and pajamed. Where a pregnant body is seen as miraculous and beautiful (which it is), our new healing and STILL life-giving bodies don't garner much respect. 

Maybe it would be good to hear how some other people are going through the first months of their new infant. If nothing else, I can use it as a record later, and hopefully I want be too horrified what my sleep-deprived brain found relevant or funny. But know, other mothers are going through it too. You may feel alone, and maybe I won't have the same experiences because they are so individual, but somebody has gone through something similar. 

How Far Along- Baby Bear is 3 weeks old today!

My Weight- Last I checked, I am down 19 lbs from weight at my last doctor's appointment. 7 lbs baby, 12 lbs of all kinds of gross stuff. I am putting this in here because no one ever talks about it, so normal is impossible to figure out.

Baby Cuteness Rating- I would say that super fresh baby cuteness is less glowy, but he is getting curvier and less hairy (plus his stinky umbilical cord is gone) so his cuteness may be headed up overall. Still, I am starting to see hints of the phase where they stare through you and off at ghosts, which is like the sad puberty of infanthood. No one else will say it, but that second month is not the cutest.

And I am Feeling- Mostly good! We still have in-laws here, so I have lots of support. Also, unlike our first Bub, the Bear does not want to chill and watch Top Chef for hours after each feeding, so sleep is more of a thing. The downside is I am still healing and can't do a lot of what I want to, because VBAC's are overrated, and it turns out things don't have the bounceback they are advertised to. I don't like that I am overextending myself so much and so easily, and another 3 weeks of not being able to do what I want is mostly annoying. I am sure I felt this way with the c-section too, but I can't remember, so I am sour about my whole undercarriage now. You are designed to be the exit! Why are you so uncooperative!??

Most Bizarro Quirk of the Week- I got hives after seafood pasta last night. Let us hope that business is a fluke, because motherly sacrifice should not include mussels (even though for my mom it totally did. But come on karma, pick on somebody else).

Best Moment of the Week- My favorite moments are still when it feels like everyone is bonding and our 3 person clique is accepting it's new member. I caught the Bub rubbing his baby brother's feet while we watched Daniel Tiger, four of us to the couch. It was super cute. I couldn't be more pleased and proud of how generally accepting he has been. Also, going to the playground, because being outside is NICE.

Favorite Tool in my Arsenal- I got new baby washcloths from Bamboosa, and they really are super soft and nice, Would recommend for sure.

And We are Watching- Best British Bake Off. English people want everything crispy. They are so wrong about that. Also watched Jaws for the first time, and I liked it way better than I expected. That Roy Schneider and his summer turtlenecks really spoke to me.

And the Boy?- Started paternity leave this week, and he is all the sorts of awesome (even if his male privilege keeps his nips out of danger). He pays for his lack of nipple pain in diaper genie runs, so I can't be all that mad. Have 5th Harmony stuck in my head, because that man is going to be working from home.

Looking Forward To- Doing the Walk to End Alzheimers, because we can. Even if I can't finish it, I can still go. Ready to be a little less hermit-ish, but dreading my MIL leaving.

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Letter to Get Better- Pecado Bueno, Stop with the Plastic Straws!

Dear Pecado Bueno,

First, I would like to thank you for having my favorite pork tacos in Seattle. Are you the most authentic Mexican food in the city? Definitely not, but your pork is no joke, and we love your deliciousness. Even better, you have managed to cultivate an atmosphere where around dinner time there are lots of real grownups having happy hour, but we don't feel unwelcome with our crazed toddler. That's a magical gift to parents who don't want to only eat at horrible chains or at 2:30.

So thank you, for your tacos and your awesomeness.

The problem is this. Anytime we order a pop or a drink at your restaurant, you already have an unwrapped straw in the glass. It makes sense with your bar/ restaurant midpoint style, but it is a total bummer. Plastic straws are a huge threat to our oceans and our sea life. The average American makes a larger volume of waste with straws than with cars, and straws are worse because they are so small they can be hard to clean up. They also get can be ingested by sea life like turtles (have you seen the videos? they are haunting). Despite the ways we know it is ravaging our oceans, American restaurants serve 500 million straws a day. That includes you. You can read a lot more about why this matters here.

Plastic will outnumber fish in the oceans by 2050 at this rate, and restaurants like yours can play a huge role in reversing this trend.

How to do it? Simple, stop serving straws no one is asking for. Studies show that most people won't ask for a straw if they aren't given one (because we all can handle a regular cup), so if you make straws by request only, you can cut down most of your straw use immediately. If you want to do even better by our oceans, switch to paper straws! They are more expensive, but if you are only handing them one when someone asks, the cost might still be less.

It's a big change, I know, and just one more thing for a business to worry about. Other restaurants are starting to take this route, and it is working. You can put up signs so your customers know what is up! Some restaurants are even using buttons. If you want more tips for how to make this switch for your margaritas and fanta (that's what we drink. Not together though, that would be gross), try The Last Plastic Straw.

I do love your tacos, but I know you could make your business that much better (especially in eco-friendly Seattle) by cutting out these harmful and totally unnecessary straws.

Thanks!

Sunshine Guerrilla

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Wedding Wednesday- 10 (Eco-friendly) Ways to be the Favorite Shower Guest

In one lifetime, most women will go to a LOT of bridal showers. Some will be of women who absolutely own our hearts. Others will be for our boyfriend's cousin's fiance where we will awkwardly sit in the corner. Either way, there will be a registry, and there will be a long chunk of shindig where we watch the bride, groom, or both open gifts.

So, how does bridal showering change when you are trying to be eco-friendly or buy local?

It can be a challenge. The couple gets to make an exact list of what they want, and if it turns out to be full of Made in Elsewhere junk that hurts your heart to buy, you can really feel stuck between compromising your own priorities or being the jerk buying decorative birdhouses.

These are my best ideas of how to be an awesome guest, how to break the mold enough to be interesting, but not so much that you are the one they tell stories about later. You can kick ass at bridal showering and stay eco-friendly! Here's how:

1. Pair the Personal with the Practical- Something small and personal makes for the most memorable gifts. One of our friends gave us a little stone with our faces painted on as a wedding gift. It is still one of my favorites. I also received two quilts and a blanket that I love and continue to be in use at our house. If you know the wedding colors or something they might need for the wedding, you could go that route. We received some things that were thoughtful, but not that useful (a lot of decorative platters) and some that were practical but not personal, but if you can combine registry desires with a personalized theme or something you made yourself, you can really nail the gift.

2. Forget Adulting, Put in for the Honeymoon- Looking at the registry and having trouble finding an eco-friendly option? Ugh, that smarts. The couple may be equally happy to accept money OR if you want to go big, ask after their honeymoon and put money specifically toward that. Wedding showers are especially all about practicality, and that can become a drag, so see if you can't invest in a cool memory for them on their trip.

There are registries specific for honeymoon funds, but even if they don't have one, I bet they will love the help. I know one of my friends skipped out on the activity she most wanted to do, because it was too expensive. In retrospect, I wish I could have skipped the wedding/shower gift and put money in for that. Stuff is just stuff, but making new and amazing memories can fuel a marriage.

3. Come Prepared to Have Fun- You want to give your bride a gift? Have a great time. The hosts can only prepare so much- once you get to a party, the fun of the shindig depends on all of the guests. Time to play silly games? Go into it with Olympic intensity to make it awesome. Small talking with the bride's crazy relatives? Lean in, my friend. Don't sit in the corner, only hang out with your people, or worst of all, let someone else be uncomfortable or alone.

At a wedding, in my expert opinion, you are contractually obligated to start the bride and groom's marriage off with a full dance floor and happy faces. Do the shower version of that.

4. Write a Good Note- Showers can be overwhelming events where the bride or groom doesn't get the time they hope for with each guest (I know I felt that way). No matter what you decide to gift, a thoughtful note and some encouragement might be the best gift you can give. Write something personal and genuine, and you could very well make his or her day when they can really go through things without an audience.

5. Skip the Lingerie- No one wants to open something seedy with all of their aunts watching. Maybe someone does, but if you aren't sure that is that bride, just skip it. If you want to do something romantic, buy some gift certificates to local restaurants and invest in some date nights. Seriously, underwear gifts are way more weird than clever.

6. Go in Together for One Gift- Don't hate- collaborate! You may not have the.budget for a really fabulous gift, but you could go in with other guests to go big. We get into this idea that more gifts= better gifts, but there is something to be said for a gift they may not be able to afford themselves. They can go buy a kitchen clock themselves, but a new set of knives might be way out of reach. Not to mention, this gesture might save them from the long, awkward present-opening part of the shindig, which is a lot of pressure.

You can do this two ways- collect money anonymously, and figure out what you an buy with it. Or, pick something first and let people donate with knowledge of the endpoint. Spend less time worrying whether the generosity is equal- it's not a competition.

7. Take Pictures- Ok, maybe this seems silly, but I think one of the best things you can do for a couple on the path to getting married (or having a baby) is to be positive, enthusiastic, and to help document any and all festivities. You get to the other end of things and can feel like it slipped through your fingers, so some pictures from others helps them have a fuller perspective on these days and all of the good stuff happening. It costs you no money, minimal time, and can really be so sweet and thoughtful.

8. Make the Switch or Get out of the Box- Not excited about the registry? You can try to do a switch out using my suggestions on The Eco-Friendly and Made in America Wedding Registry. Don't see anything that speaks to you? What are some other things they will definitely need? What about movie tickets or some other kind of date night? Gift cards for take out places with their menus? A cheese of the month club. Invest in the memories they will make as a couple! Or go a totally different route and cut out a practical concern for them- give them all the quarters they will ever need for laundry with The Simply Co soap and dryer balls. Get them all the tissues they will ever need and a throw blanket for sick days. Get them Amazon Prime or a netflix subscription. By shifting your paradigm to less concrete gifts, you can really come up with something cool.

9. Buy 3 Used Gifts Instead of One New One- This is true for baby showers too- some things on registries (measuring cups, anything glass, kitchen tools) are ALWAYS for sale in consignment and antique stores. Still look at what they want, but get something a little more special and a LOT more cost-effective. You can get 4 kitchen tools at Goodwill for the same cost as one from Bed Bath and Beyond. Way to help them fill up that kitchen AND reduce waste!

10. It's All About Them- Sometimes you know the bride or groom better than others; it is well worth it to keep who they are in mind before you go for it. Maybe they are the kind of people who would LOVE practical gifts like a year's worth of paper towels and toilet paper- think of the drudgery they can skip! Other people would hate it. If you aren't sure, call one of those numbers on the RSVP line and ask them. If it still seems risky, do 60% what they said they want and 40% something a little riskier.

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