50 Ways to Do Good on September 11th

Aren't you sick of hearing about how horrible America is? This election year has been depressing for oh so many reasons, but nothing is worse than listening to people antagonize others for where this country is going. We are all co-authors of this country, and tomorrow, more so than any other day, it feels right to focus on what is good and what unites us as a people.

Every year on September 11th, at least one person puts up images or film of the two towers which are absolutely crushing. To these people, it is important that we continue mourning the catastrophic event, and I don't think they are wrong to mourn, but I choose to think about the holiday in a different way. When I go back and read the newspaper articles, watch the news clips (some of which I did earlier this summer), or even watch the late night show returning monologues, I am moved to tears by the amount of compassion we have for each other, our gratitude towards fireman and police,  and our willingness to put our sympathy and gratitude into action.

 In that moment, which people are right to remember as dark, eventually showed the best of who we are as Americans, our willingness to help each other, and our collective and active authorship of our country. You could see that light clearly in that moment, and that is what I choose to focus on for this day of remembrance.

We can still show each other compassion, contribute to our communities, and take care of our country.

For this reason, I LOVE the 9/11 day observance, which encourages Americans to do good deeds in remembrance of the events (this is so much more productive than posting a picture on facebook- commenting is not caring, people! Don't add to the noise, just do something). I love that they allow you to share what you did to potentially inspire others. It is a National Day of service, so how can we step up our serving? I posted this list a few years ago and have even more ideas now of things you can do even with a little one in tow:

1. Share what you have, donate things you don't need. It's going to get cold- donate old coats, socks, and hats. If you can't get out tomorrow, just clean out your closet and donate it.
2. Call a local public school or PTA to see how you can help support the new school year.
3. Go for a walk where you smile and say hello to everyone you see. Make small talk, make the world feel smaller.
4. Buy something local. Support the businesses that employ your area.
5. Sign up to volunteer somewhere new (let's just all do this)-you can find organizations here.
6. Take treats or bread to your local firehouse or police station.
7.  Commit to having a conversation with one new person a day. When you hear there is a protest somewhere this year, go and make an effort to hear what they are saying.
8. Organize a group to fix something you didn't break.
9. Take public transit (and give up your seat!), use reusable bags, and turn off the lights in rooms you aren't in.
10. Go visit a nursing home. Be somebody's company for the afternoon. If you are raising little ones in a city, they actually have programs where you take them to visit. Your toddler can be a massively helpful volunteer.
11. Build something. Sign up for one day with National Rebuilding Day, Habitat for Humanity, or another non-profit that provides homes and labor to people who need them.
12. Get to know one of your neighbors. Can you name all of your neighbors? If not, set it as a goal.
13. Write your local congressmen. Write about what you care about, to encourage them to make a move, or to thank for the job they are doing, but write them.
14. Donate blood. Muslims for Life do a blood drive every year on this day.
15. Write 20 thank you notes- who could you thank?
16. Start a tradition in your neighborhood.
17.Do a service project with the kids in your life. Teach future generations about our responsibilities to serve one another. Go clean up a street or help someone you know needs it.
18. Plant flowers or a tree. Weed a public area that needs care.
19.Stand up for someone who is in a vulnerable position, who has less money, power, or privilege than you do.
20.Pick up litter. Adopt a highway.
21. Stay involved in the issues you care about. Stand up for our veterans and follow initiatives that get them the medical and mental health care they desperately need. Speak up for National forests and parks. Stand up against systematic and unnecessary police violence.Fight the plastic bag lobby. Get as far as signing petitions and knowing what is going on.
22.Go get to know someone who is nothing like you. Promote tolerance within yourself.
23. Donate money- do it to help get people clean water or to feed their family (yes in the United States- we still have lots of people who need help)
24.Let someone else go first.
25. Support the victims' families through organizations like Peaceful Tomorrows.
26. Write to Words for the Wounded.
27. Share your creativity- look into ways to contribute to local public art, or small theaters, museum events, or city bands. Make things with others,
28. Give up using straws! Do you know how much waste we make as a country just from plastic straws? If you don't need one (and seriously, most of us don't), don't use one. It's the theme this month.
29. Learn how to start your own organization or event at CreateTheGood.org. If you can identify a problem or gap in your community, it is also your responsibility to do something about it.
30. Go to a remembrance service. Be there for someone.
31.Volunteer to tutor or mentor someone who needs it. Have one volunteer commitment you do every week (many of us are already there- Millenials are one of the most volunteering generations in history.
32. Take the time to really listen.
33.Support teachers and their classrooms. Ask them what they need and go get them that.
34. Turn off your tv and computer for the whole day.
35. Smile at everyone. Since we live in the US, it is not that suggestive.
36. Create jobs by buying American- it is definitely more expensive, but some of it just works. No one wants to fund unsafe conditions or child workers, so don't support these things with your money. Give an American company who is ethical your money.
37.Carry a bag in your bag to collect trash in.
38. Be kind in airports. Actually talk to people.
39. Leave your cell phone in your pocket. If someone you love is on fire, they will call you. No need to check facebook to kill time. Why are we all living our lives like we are killing time?
40.Recycle. Compost if you can. To be America the Beautiful, we need to stop treating our country like one giant landfill.
41. Join Team in Training or participate in an athletic event for a cause Sounds horrible to me, but I bet someone who reads this would kick ass at this!
42. Serve a meal at a homeless or youth shelter.
43. Get involved in campus treatment of sexual assault. Write your alma mater and their alumni association. Put your money where your mouth is and don't support organizations that protect the mistreatment of women.
44. Travel somewhere else in the US, even if it is the next town over, and talk to people there. Experience the difference.
45. Stand up for someone online- Online harassment is crazypants. When you see it on one of the sites you read, say something,
46. When you see a police officer, always say thank you. Don't feel like you have enough chances? Write them a card and send it.
47. Sign up for emergency training, so you can give CPR to someone who needs it if the time comes.
48. Acknowledge someone who you know already does so much for other people. Show gratitude and encouragement.
49. Ok, everyone do this too- invite someone new over for dinner. Feed someone and get to know them.
50. Do something, anything, on purpose to make your world a little better.


Ooooh, baby, this is just the tip of the iceberg, right? I am curious if people really do volunteer on this day, because posting a meme really doesn't seem like enough. What are you going to do tomorrow, even if it is small? Let me know what you come up with!

Read more

Letter to Get Better- Panera Bread

from mayefairtown.com

Hello Panera Bread,

We have been seeing a lot of each other lately; my mom lives on an island with no Panera, so when she comes to town, your salad and bagels are big treats for her. She love you so much that it is cute. Our family mostly avoids chain restaurants, but you are doing some things worth getting excited about- you have removed a ton of chemicals and fake coloring from your food, and hopefully other chains will follow suit. You talk a lot about "clean ingredients" and "transparency" in your menu, which can be rare to find at other chains. Honestly, I think things like your "No No List" is amazing for making your food look better (and your competitors' food look bad).

 I also love that when you eat there, you use real silverware and plates. That dishwasher is an awesome environmental investment, and you prevent tons of the waste other "healthy" fast casual options create. You even have compost and recycling bins (at least at our store in Seattle). You use paper bags too! In other words, most chains could learn a lot from you in terms of environmental responsibility in your everyday practices. And that is awesome.

That being said, I think we both know you could do better. Your biggest problem? Plastics

If you really want to promote "clean" eating, you have to start with the water. Do you know that by 2050 there will be more plastics in the water than fish? Gross. Do you know that plastics and the chemicals in them are probably already having an effect on our water and our health? Gross, right?

The good news is that companies like yours have real power to blaze a trail and make a difference. A few examples:

Baked goods- Your individual baked goods mostly come in paper bags (though I don't see it being recyclable), but your boxes have those little plastic windows. Why? Someone knows what they bought, and boxes without that flimsy plastic piece actually look more classy and "wholesome." If you lose the plastic, you won't lose much at all, but you will keep that much out of landfills.

Plastic Cutlery- When you get take out food, no matter what, they put plastic silverware in little plastic bags in every order. Well, we take ours home, so we don't need any of that, and I bet we aren't alone. When I specifically ask they don't include it, I throw them off, because there isn't even a button for that option, so they walk over to the kitchen to tell them.  Why not employ the "unless requested" policy suggested by the Last Plastic Straw? When I order, your employee asks me about my card, my sides, my preferences- why not just throw in "would you like plastic silverware?" at the end?

Plastic Straws- We all know that plastic straws are epically bad for the environment- the average person will make more waste with plastic straws than their cars in a lifetime. Straws are small enough that they are very difficult for clean ups, and they are horrible for sea life. Why not switch your straws out for something biodegradable like recycled paper straws? You could also do more compostable cups, but even the straw switch could profoundly improve your environmental impact as a company on the day to day.

Thank you for what you are doing, and I hope you keep it up. It's good for other companies to see you can be responsible and profitable, and your company can only benefit from pushing these goals further by eliminating or greatly minimizing the plastics you use everyday.

Read more

Fourth Anniversary Inspiration- Fruit and Flower Inspiration and Fun

By your fourth anniversary, it sure can be easy to phone it in. Just head out to dinner and call it a day. I know we did that here way more than I would have liked, but we are also 9 months into a pregnancy, so I forgive us. Some years you just aren't going to nail it.

On the other hand, I think this anniversary (and it's fruity theme) actually lends itself to TONS of cool and fun ideas for activiities and decorations. You can do this one WELL, my friends. Do better than we did.

 Make this year a fun memory, not just a throwaway.

What to Do

The ideas on Pinterest for this anniversary are particularly lame. Basically, just fruit puns. I have nothing against fruit puns, but its no inside tent or leather den or really anything fun. But clearly, they have missed the boat here, because I think so many great ideas are waiting to happen!

1. Berry-picking- I know it sounds cheesy, but we have had the best time doing this. Living in Northern California, we could actually go pick strawberries right by the beach. Can you hear the sea lions when you look at this picture? Needless to say, it was cool. Lots of areas, rural and urban have picking farms nearby, and dependent on your anniversary date, you could do whatever is seasonal and available. Then go home and make something with it. It's an activity that is out of the ordinary, but it won't break the bank either.

2. Start a garden- Are you a late-spring/ early-summer couple? You got this. Plant something. Plant a bush or a tree in the anniversary's honor, and every year you can see how much it grows. Don't have a yard? Plant an herb garden you can use at home OR look and see if there is any planting that needs done in your neighborhood. You could even volunteer together for replanting somewhere or to work for a day in a community garden. It can be so fun to get your hands dirty, and isn't it always somehow better to do this kind of thing for someone else?

A good way to revise the flower/ fruit theme is "Growing." Your marriage isn't new anymore, but now we all know the secret that things don't stop growing just because they aren't saplings. Think about things that grow in your life and build your anniversary plans around keeping things growing.

3. Go to (or Make) Dinner Together- We went out for a fancy dinner this year, and when food is part of the theme, a dinner makes sense (otherwise, it can feel a little bit like the easiest possible answer).But I do think food in general makes sense, and if you have a fruit that especially resonates, you could pick it as a theme for food for the week!

Do a fun fruit salad. Or carve something out of fruit? I want to see some anniversary- themed watermelon sculptures!

I mean, come on. From Seasons of Joy

Maybe try a whole week of new recipes? Could you make a whole week of mango meals? Or try all the weird fruits in the grocery store you never go near? I think there is a fun adventure here waiting to happen. On that note...

What to Eat

This anniversary screams cake, so I am kind of freaking out that I haven't picked a cake (or its toppers yet). How do you pick when there are so many good options? Two years ago I made a lemon cake, and I will be honest with you, it wasn't that good. I obviously didn't pick the right thing. So this year I am looking for some fruity inspiration:

from Design Sponge

Pie! I love this anniversary pie from Design Sponge. So simple and chic, and it might be a good choice if you aren't a cake couple. I love this heart pie crust as well.

from Eat Spin Run Repeat

Fruit Cake. You can do an actual fruitcake for a Christmas anniversary, but how cool is this for summer anniversaries? I love Eat Spin Run Repeat's step by step tutorial, but you really could make an amazing cake with whatever fruit you like (or matches your wedding colors).

Just a Regular Old Amazing Cake. There is infinite pinteresty goodness around cakes with fruit. This is a goldmine, so you only have to find what idea fits you best. I had all sorts of ideas, and our cake was jank. I mean, really jank. Such a mess that I won't even put it up here, which I am never above doing. So let's look at other people's successes and ignore my 4th year failure:

from Baker by Nature

Baker by Nature has a recipe for a seriously beautiful lemon and blueberry cake. So nice, and it looks so pretty.

from Dagmar's Kitchen

This chocolate cake by Dagmar's Kitchen was the vision I had in my head when I thought about the cake. So pretty with the chocolate and the berries. Someday later I will make this cake. This one from Tastes Better from Scratch looks like a nice combination of the two.

from Plain Chicken

Lemon Sour Cream Pound Cake from Plain Chicken looks less fussy but still very pretty. Might be a good route if you don't have a ton of time.

Ok, these are my best fruit and flower ideas! What did you do for your 4th anniversary?

Read more

Throwback Thursday- 10 Things I've Learned in Two Years of Watching my Amazing Aunt Fight Cancer

from www.cwc4women.com

September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month, and when I started poking around looking for resources to send people to, I was shocked just how sparse and often negative the personal writing around Ovarian and Metastatic cancers is. Breast cancer has the market cornered in a way I don't think is necessarily useful to everyone.

 My Aunt Ann, who I have mentioned many times here, has been living with cancer at different levels since they first found a tumor in her abdomen over two years ago. A lot has happened since then, and I have been struck again and again by how much of it has been positive, how continuously inspiring she is, and how much I have learned from her as she has fought through it. When someone says "cancer" a number of really dark associations immediately pop up, and for good reason, but I want to put it out there that strange goodness comes out of it as well (talk about grace).

I also want to put the disclaimer here that even though Aunt Ann is on my heart and in my prayers everyday, I am not in the first circle of support to her in Tennessee. I consider my role to be a support to my cousin and my mother who are really on the front lines and to be a fresh breathe of air when I can tell any of them need it. Part of this means that when those dark moments have come, I usually hear about the secondhand, especially through the emotion of my mother, and I show up later. Until they get a teleporter, I won't be able to be there as soon as I would like to be. I think being present for those moments would change what I am writing here, but maybe not as much as I would have expected in the beginning. I want to write about this because these things do run so deeply that you feel really exposed, vulnerable, and flippant trying to talk about it.But like so many things like that, hearing other people's experiences can be really encouraging.

So if you have someone you love going through it, feel free to add to my list of things learned/ worth feeling good about. God is strange and wonderful in his ways, and I will never ever be able to say I don't believe in miracles after seeing how much joy can thrive in our family in the face of something so ugly. So with no further ado-

10. Cancer is Just a Jerk- The disease is just the jerkiest disease ever, and Ovarian Cancer is particularly nasty because by the time they find it, it has made itself comfy all through you, like sand in your swimsuit on a beach day. Cancer is sneaky, twisty, and seems to know how to kick you when you are already down. Chemo, and this is perhaps said less often, is also a huge jerk. It gets talked about like a hero, but it's like sending a bully to fight another bully, but they both treat you really badly. You just have to maintain a positive attitude and hope they cancel each other out. Also, every experience with chemo is different, from person to person and chemo to chemo. Just because you have gone through it or seen someone you love go through it doesn't mean you are an expert, or that you can predict another person's experience at all.  Aunt Ann has gone through a number of different chemotherapies, and most of them have had really different effects on her. So if you are going through it, just know that one chemo won't behave like the next one.

9. Everybody has a role to play, and all the roles matter- I basically imagine Aunt Ann being at the center of a target with people occupying different supportive roles in each circle. She has Rob at the center, and Shelly and my Mom probably in that second rung. Some people are further from her, but their consistency of support has made a huge difference. We all have differing levels of closeness and differing relationships with her, but they are all important. It never stops being surprising to just see how far a card can go for lifting her spirit, and she has shed tears to me multiple times talking about mail and care packages she has received. That larger circle, where people really are further away, still makes a huge difference, so I really encourage you to send your loved one with cancer something little. It can be easy to forget, especially when they have been fighting for a long time, but that means they need more support, not less! I know I could always be doing better with this. All kinds of support really do make a difference, and those people right at the center of her support target need loved on too!

8. If you are living with cancer, you are still living, you are still you, and you still have a life- I think this is one I really didn't understand before.When you imagine a very serious cancer, you imagine someone frail in the hospital bed and life coming to a screeching halt. Those days have happened, to be sure, but it is also moving to see the many ways Aunt Ann's life keeps developping forward! It definitely doesn't look like it did before, and I know that is a struggle, but she still does things with her girlfriends. And she is a grandma (Gigi) now! And she still has a great laugh. And she still is just her so you don't even think to say "still." Cancer, I am pretty sure I mentioned this, is a big old jerk, but even if it has slowed her down, it is beautiful and encouraging to see all the ways that it hasn't kept her from living (also, thank goodness these things keep getting better, so she can just go home).

7. Just How Much Family and Love is an Action (And One you just have to Keep Doing)- My mother, in my opinion, is a badass, always late, crazy busy angel of a woman, and I think I have never felt more inspired by her efforts to be a devoted sister than in the last 2 years. She is so committed to her sister, even when she is not there, and Ann is the same to her. If I can't get a hold of Janet (not an uncommon occurrence), I know I can ask Aunt Ann, and she will know what is up. After 50 years of sisterhood, these two women still put the time and effort in to keep their relationship vibrant, changing, and alive. I love that, and I can see that they BOTH need it as my aunt keeps on this fight. My Mom (and her EPIC frequent flyer miles) show me that closeness is about priorities, that love is an action, and that commenting isn't caring (showing up is).

Last Thanksgiving, (nearly) our whole family came together to celebrate and it was an embarrassing gratitude weepfest for all involved. The Moffitt-Guth family is a big strange hybrid octopus of a thing, where we probably won't ALL be in the same room, where lots of people aren't related by blood, and where multiple health issues chip away at our collective mobility. But we are still growing and alive because people take care of the bonds they have and try to keep in touch. And people have stepped it up in some ways in the past few years, I think partially because Ann's illness served as a reminder that this time matters and those bonds matter. Some things cost money, but thoughtful emails and phone calls and skyping don't. Currently, nothing in the world drives me crazier than seeing other sides of my family crown themselves as finished, on to a new phase, mourning the good old days, etc, when staying together is still so damn easy, because everyone is healthy, mobile, and not all that spread out. Everyone has their priorities, and that is fine, but don't think you are kidding anyone by covering up with excuses. If Ann can still be a great sister, daughter, aunt, and mother, then I think we can all step up our game. Family is a thing you just have to keep working at, and the strength, love, and mutual support of my mom and aunt's relationship continually inspires me to keep putting that work in.

6. The Power of Prayer- I believed in prayer before, but now I can really see the awesome power of directed and intentional prayer. I see how the prayer really lifted her spirits and how her name spread around spiritual communities to give her support. I feel that people can really feel when they are being prayed for, and I believe that God has answered a lot of prayers in this situation (not always in the ways we expect, but that seems to be His MO). I feel like this is one of those statements that can be sticky, because so many cancer patients see less positive outcomes (as they have before in our family), but I believe God has provided a lot of healing, hope, and positivity for Ann, and I am super grateful for that.

5. An individual can do really hard things when the situation calls for it- This may seem like a no-brainer, but think about it. How does someone get through waking up from surgery to find out they have cancer? Or how do they bounce back from surgery when they have even more chemo to look forward to? How does someone keep showing up for chemo after 2 years of that miserable junk? She just does it. And this is the sweetest woman with the softest heart, but she finds that strength time after time. She gets less credit than she deserves, because it takes so much courage and power to face what she faces. Total badass. It has taught me that even when things look impossible or insurmountable, if it's what you have to do, you do it.

4. B Level Blessings really Teach Gratitude- This is my theory: we all have tons of blessings we don't notice (and in fact often pick at) like our jobs, our close relationships, and most of all our healthy bodies. Then, when you take one of these things, especially a healthy body, completely away, you suddenly become WAY more appreciative of the smaller blessings that make up for it. For example, I don't know how many times I have cheered on the phone because my Aunt's weight went up over 100 pounds. Or been totally elated that she has better CA-125 numbers, not even good ones, just that number going down. That momentum toward getting something that the rest of us take for granted creates ridiculous gratitude and excitement. Now why don't the rest of us feel elated that we have the privilege of wanting to lose weight or that we don't have to worry about our health in a way that dominates our life and time? Those B Level blessings, when what we take for granted is taken away, are so incredibly precious and valuable, and that gratitude can change everyone's life.

3. Today is a miracle, so there is no reason to think tomorrow won't be a miracle too-I say this one to my Mom every time she is having a down or scared moment, but I really believe it. When you first hear this diagnosis, or people start talking Ovarian cancer, you will hear statistics and stories. They are likely to not be encouraging. Not encouraging AT ALL. People around you (and around the closest family members) will say really dumb, unhelpful, and discouraging things even if their heart is in the right place. When that A Level blessing (which is an illusion anyway) of unlimited time gets taken away, you realize just how precious each day is. You can see where she is defeating odds and taking names. And you know she didn't do it by herself, but with God's help. I believe in remission for my Aunt, because time and time again, things have turned around, they have gotten better, and those odds have not applied. We can't expect God to give us infinite time here on Earth, that's not the deal, but we can appreciate that every day, despite being pretty vulnerable little things, we keep going and have the chance to do better. Aunt Ann is living proof of God's miracles every day, good or bad, and I think it's good to remember that is actually true of all of us.

2. About the True Nature of Sickness (It's a Marathon, not a Sprint)- I read somewhere early on that we think of Cancer as a shock to the system, but it actually is like constant waves against a shore. It keeps moving and changing over time, and its effects are cumulative. My aunt has been so wise to fight for time to emotionally and physically heal throughout her treatment, but this would be my advice to anyone who has a loved one going through it- this isn't going to take a few weeks, or even a few months, it might be years before you get that good news, so take care of yourself too. Succumbing to panic or feeling frustration that things aren't happening fast enough will only work against you, so take breaks when you need them but be sure to keep coming back. That person who is fighting is on a long road, so if you can help carry them or lift their spirits even for a while, you will make a world of difference.

1.The Insane, Miraculous, Amazing Power of Simply Staying Positive (and Having Faith)-  Aunt Ann is ridiculously good to sticking to her priorities, taking it a day at a time, and at being positive. Does she have her days? Hell yes, wouldn't you? But overall, she seems cheerful, grateful, and prayerful. She is also often making plans for the future, which I think is awesome. She has missed a couple of things because of being sick, but I always think about her plans for the future or for other cool things we have to look forward to (Thanksgiving and first birthdays next year in Tennessee? Group trip to Hawaii someday? etc). There have been times where she has made my mother crazy because Janet would be so much more aggressive or fiesty about things, but Ann's calm and positive attitude has served her so well through this whole thing.

You don't have to lie when things suck, but wallowing never helped anyone either, and she is a master at the mental game that comes with this disease. Be positive and focus on the things you love. That is what Aunt Ann has taught me through this, and I have so much love and admiration for her.

So that is what I have noticed, good and bad, about taking on cancer from watching her experiences- who out there has also supported a loved one through cancer? What did you learn? Or if you have cancer, how can people better back you up through it?

Read more

Teal Tuesdays- How to Support Someone Living with Cancer

Cancer is really freaking scary, and it can be hard to approach when one of us faces it firsthand. We all have our own instincts and emotions when someone close to us is diagnosed with cancer, but I hope this list helps us cut through what is helpful to those surrounding the person and what the person battling cancer actually needs. Aunt Ann, who has been living with cancer since 2012, and her sister (My Mom) wrote an amazing list of advice for how to best support someone living with cancer. Some of their suggestions might surprise you, but they can be great tips to remember for Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month!

1. Pray for the person diagnosed with cancer. God is in the miracle business. Ask your friends and family to pray.

2. Grieve the unavoidable life changes for the person with cancer; and don’t assume that cancer is a death sentence.

3. Get your head around your own grief and concerns before you make yourself available to assist the person with cancer with his/her grief. While grief can and should be shared, your grief should not cast a shadow over your relationship with the person with cancer.

4. Understand that there are many decisions to be made; and most of the decisions are grey, not black and white. Be prepared to listen as the family dealing with cancer discusses multiple options for managing the disease.

5. Always be honest with the person with cancer.

6. Resist the urge to make predictions or provide medical advice. Keep the knowledge that you have gained through your medical explorations on the Internet to yourself. Eating avocadoes for 5 days while standing on your head in the sun may have worked for someone, but the best medical advice will come from the qualified professionals caring for the person with cancer.

7. The person with cancer is still interesting and has interests outside of cancer. Don’t forget to chat about these things, too.

8. Cancer is not contagious, but a negative attitude can be. Be positive; be there.

9. Encouragement is key. Send positive messaging, like “Fight like a girl.” Send cards, letters, pictures, flowers (but not real smelly ones!), and tokens of love, especially during rough treatment times. Laugh. Tell jokes and funny stories. Live life together.

10. Call, text, email… communicate… Don’t over-think your communications. If the person with cancer pops into your head, call or text. Then keep your conversation short checking frequently to see if the person with cancer needs to go.

11. Fighting cancer is a marathon, not a sprint. Don’t forget to pray for and encourage the person with cancer all along the course.

12. Take care of the caretakers. Give them breaks from the important role of caretaking by sitting with the person, driving the person with cancer to a treatment or doctor visit, etc. Send the caretaker encouragement and praise for the essential work that they are doing.

Hope this gives you some insight on what you can do to best support someone you love! What can you also do? Wear teal every tuesday this month to raise awareness for Ovarian Cancer, which is one of the most deadly but least discussed cancers facing women! Together we can bring more attention (and hopefully early detection and research) to this horrible cancer!

Read more

Five Favorite Etsy Stores- Eco-Friendly Phone Cases

I want to keep highlighting amazing makers in the US, and I feel like my Etsy links can get caught in the more mainstream shuffle. So starting a series to focus on the greatest stuff we have found.

I don't have an i Phone, so my biggest concern is just finding ANY cover that fits my Windows Phone, but one of the weird perks of an iPhone is you have millions of choices for covers. Within these many, many choices are some that are both Made in America and environmentally-conscientious. It can be easy to just pick whatever is at the store, but most of these are plastic, and they don't do much good. I tracked down some better options on Etsy.

from Carved Products

Carved Products sells phone covers made of recycled skateboards. They look really cool, and I just think this is a great use of materials that might just be discarded otherwise. Plus, there is something sweet about a grown man carrying his fancy phone in a skateboard. It's ok, buddy, you are still hip.

from I Make the Case

I Make the Case has a HUGE selection of bamboo cases that are more eco friendly than plastic, Also great because they last a long time. The longer one case lasts, the fewer cases you send to the landfill, so picking one with a great reputation makes a lot of sense.

from Wrecords by Monkey

Wrecords by Monkey sells a recycled record phone case. These also look really graphic and sharp. Such a cool choice, and it might make a great gift!

from Wild Weka Designs

Wild Weka Designs makes all kinds of everyday household objects (I like their make up brush rolls) out of discarded fabric, saving it from a landfill. They also sell cute little pockets for iPhones. I have never used a pocket cover like this, but if one is your thing, this one helps the Earth AND looks good!

from The Eco Owl

The Eco Owl is based out of Ireland, but I wanted to highlight them anyway, because they do sell eco-friendly phone cases with a lot of beauty and style. Another one that looks really chic and functional to me, which is really the goal, right? Finding environmentally-friendly stuff that people would want even if it wasn't eco-friendly!

Want even more eco-friendly and local shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Ethical and Eco-Friendly Shopping Lists. 

Read more

Throwback Thursday- Everything You Might Want for an All-American (and Eco-Friendly) Backyard Barbeque

Every 4th of July, my Dad throws a picnic in his backyard that is one of my favorite times of the year. His dixieland band plays by the river, I see lots of people I genuinely love, and then we sit by the water and watch fireworks. I also eat a hot dog, which I know is probably some environmentalist abomination (is there plastic in it? Who knows), but it is also delicious. I don't eat them all the time, but damn I love an excuse for a hot dog.

My dad and his wife's approach to this party is pretty laid back, and people bring dishes and chairs. The chill is part of the appeal, but now that I am a bourgeois environmentalist, I am wondering if you can switch out some of the "easy" elements of a barbeque for something a little more ethical. Take care of our beautiful summers! And, if it is 4th of July, shouldn't your party be All-American too? It sounds crazy, but a little research shows me this goal is completely possible.

There is a general assumption about outside parties that you want cheap so you can just throw it all away. There's wisdom in that- who wants to put out the fine china for your hot dogs? If you are having a big crowd over, who wants to wash all those plates?

But if you want it to be truly disposable, SKIP PLASTIC COMPLETELY!

 It will last just as long (if not longer) than your regular wares, and you are just adding to a landfill future generations are going to have to deal with.

At the very least, we can all switch out the easy option for the better option in a place or two. It can save money, save American jobs, and save the planet. That's a lot of good to set your hot dog on!

Don't want to go all out? Plastic-free picnic, my friend.

Also, this blog doesn't address actual food items much, because the real rule of thumb is whatever you can get locally (from your farmer's market, roadside stand, local grocer, etc) is the most eco-friendly choice you can make. Probably the most healthy for you as well. The best way to answer that question is to get out there and see what you can find. You might be surprised and, better yet, inspired!

 Let's talk about all the great options that are out there for an Eco-friendly or All-American Picnic!

Anchor Hocking from Amazon

Drink Dispensers- One time use plastic water bottles are the bane of my existence (loyal readers know that Nestle Pure Life is my sworn enemy), but I can't remember the last time I went to a picnic without one. Why? Because lugging water can be a real pain. I get it, this one is annoying, but cans are actually more easily recycled and plastic bottles are an abomination that makes the angels weep. Instead, why not try a drink dispenser filled with water and give out cups? You could even do a couple and have a few choices for your guests other than pop or bottled water. Drink Dispensers will also save you big money in a relatively short time. A case of bottled water is a lot more expensive than the tap water you can filter in your own house.

Our Pick- We have a drink dispenser made by Anchor Hocking that we really love, and it weirdly makes things feel more summery. We have mostly put strawberry lemonade in ours but water would work perfectly well. I like this one with a chalkboard as well, but I will say it may depend where you are having your picnic. If it isn't right in your backyard, that might be a long way to lug a glass dispenser!

If you do have a further distance to take your dispensers but still want to make a more ethical choice, I did find a Made in the USA and BPA-free version from Buddeez. Yes, it is still plastic, but you can reuse it for all of your picnics. here is a set of 2, where it looks like you can put fruit and other fun stuff at the top (just skip those plastic glasses). Think of how many one-time use plastics you have side-stepped!

Coolers- Ok, so you still want some pop there. I get it. Pop is delicious- go can not bottle. Cans are still cheaper and more efficient to recycle, so they are the better choice by far. If you need a cooler, I can cover you on that too.

Our Pick- Used! Coolers mostly last forever, and lots of people have more than they need. I see them on Buy Nothing pretty often, so you might just try asking around for coolers. I bet some of your picnic guests have coolers at home- have them bring it with some ice as their contribution to the party. You could also try something a little less traditional if you are going for looks- I have seen metal buckets on many a pinterest post for wedding drinks. You might also be able to track one of these down used.

Both Coleman and Rubbermaid coolers are still made in the States; in fact, the coolers were the only thing in Target's 4th of July section that were actually made in the US! Gah, I still can't get over how embarrassing that is. Coleman sells a steel cooler if you want to skip the plastic, and honestly, it is so pretty! I had no idea, but I love the retro feel, and it could add a little style to your picnic while minimizing the plastic you use. New favorite in my book.

Grizzly Coolers look a little tough for your average picnic, but these plastic coolers are also made in the US, so it might be the right option for you!

Susty Party from Amazon

Cups- Ok, this is one lots of us don't even buy anymore- you just buy cans and bottles, but it is worth it to eliminate some of this waste, because they can be hard to recycle. If you want to have a more environmentally-friendly party style, you have two great options- buy something you can reuse, or buy something that biodegrades easily, so they don't make any waste.

Our Pick- Honestly, we mostly just use our regular glasses. We have enough, and it seems fine to me. We have never hosted any really big parties though, so if we did, I think we would probably get something like this. We would probably buy clear, biodegradable cups if need be. Swirly Twirly sells paper cups that look fun and biodegrades easily. Want to get something really patriotic? Sur La Table is selling cups that really commit (and are made in the US with biodegradable materials- so great).

Green Point (maybe made in the USA? Mixed feedback on that, which is usually not a good sign) and Eco Products sell a clear corn-based cup, but they are a bit of a gamble because reviews say they melt in direct sun.  Susty Party also sells clear biodegradable cups, but they are made in China, and I honestly like the designs of their paper cups more (especially for a 4th of July picnic).

If you want to go very country and classy, you could buy a bulk set of mason jars for your outside drinking. Both Ball jars and Kerr jars are made in the US, and you could keep the big box they come in to just pack them up for the winter. I feel like this idea works perfectly if your life belongs on Pinterest. Still, washing them and putting them back in storage would be pretty easy, and you can use them for every picnic for the rest of your life, no problem. Just make sure you get an 8 or 16 oz jar. Nothing too big or with too narrow a mouth! You can get 12 for 9 dollars, so they are actually cheaper than plastic tumblers in many cases.

Seventh Generation on Amazon

Napkins and Paper Towels- We have mostly switched to cloth napkins in our house, but even if you can get that eco friendly, who wants to deal with a big party's worth of napkins? Who even owns that many?!? Paper napkins make more sense, and you can buy a bulk set of something recycled and made in America. There is basically no reason to get anything other than recycled napkins anyway.

Our Pick- Seventh Generation napkins are recycled, unbleached, made in America, and still really soft! Are they the prettiest napkins you have ever seen? No. But people's party obsession with napkins is frankly pretty stupid. When have you ever said "Oh that party was so fun. I really loved the napkins"? Oh, never? Yes, that's true for everyone, so recycled makes perfect sense, and you can get them in bulk for crazy cheap (and probably never have to buy napkins again). If you want that crisp white napkin, Seventh Generation sells some bleached versions that are still 100% recycled. 4

Love a pretty napkin but still want something pretty? Check out the Susty Party napkins- made in the USA, 100% recycled, 20% post-consumer.

Still haven't found what you are looking for? Check out Natural Value for Made in the USA and 100% recycled. Green Forest and Marcal have great options too!

Preserve from Amazon

Paper Plates- This is a category where you don't even have to deviate far from the mainstream. Chinet makes some of their paper plates out of recycled material that can be composted. They are also made right here in the United States!

Want something a little more stylish or a little more tree-friendly? I have got you covered on both fronts! Susty Party makes square compostable plates out of sugar cane biproduct. Some of their party supplies are made in the States, but I don't think this is one of them. My pick would probably be MV Trading's Tree Free plates, which are made from sustainably harvested bamboo and are completely compostable! Earth's Natural Product also makes plates from sugar cane, but they are made in China, so it is a trade off.

If you do love plastic plates, Preserve (one of my favorite Made in the USA companies) sells plastic plates you can clean over and over again. When you are all done with them, the company will take them back and recycle them- so cool!

Silverware- Sure, use up the lifetime supply of spoons and knives you have sitting around. But there are better options for this.You can go three ways with this, and they are all way better than the plastic silverware we grew up with.

 First, you can pick a biodegradable material, so when those forks (and spoons and knives, but who are we kidding, just forks) get thrown away, they can be composted or will at least break down with time. Emerald sells a cornstarch set- I have used the cornstarch cutlery before, and it is a little rougher than plastic, but they are sturdy and you can reuse them before you have to compost them, so they might be a good fit! Transitions 2 Earth also sells a biodegradable set they claim will break down even in the landfull- they have solid reviews, and most say they sneak by like normal disposable cutlery. Repurpose makes plant-based silverware that has a good reputation for standing up to hot food while still being compostable and biodegradable. They are made in Taiwan, so not perfect, but a pretty good option.

You can get wood utensils like these from Pretty Sweet Party that will obviously break down with time (I also think they look much cleaner and more stylish, if that is a thing you care about). You can just get forks as well. These are very smooth (though a little short?), and they are made in the United States! Creative Juice Cafe and Olia Designs sells a really lovely set as well. If you just like to picnic with your family, let me recommend these rePeat utensil sets made of wood and recycled plastic bottles.

The other option is to get recycled plastic cutlery and then reuse it. Preserve makes recycled and foodsafe cutlery that you can use over and over. And they make them here in the US! You can also buy the things you need (forks) in bulk as well, and if you reuse, it should set you for life (unless you throw some massive picnics). When you decide you are done with it, you still don't need to throw it away! You can mail used products back to them and they will recycle them for you. In my opinion, there is really no reason not to use something like this, and just have a separate bun for people to throw their cutlery in, no more trash!

Tranquilo straws from Amazon

Straws- Paper straws can be a cute way to add to the spirit and decor of your event, and they can have a mostly positive environmental impact! Woot! My pick, forever and always, will be Tranquilo paper straws. Not only are they biodegradable and made in the US, they also donate a portion of their proceeds to The Ocean Cleanup Project. There is absolutely NO reason to buy plastic straws EVER again, and these are the best of the best. If you are planning an event of any kind, including a barbeque, you can check their huge selection and find the perfect straws. If you wanted another option for being amazing, Susty Party sells FSC certified paper straws that are also made in the US! I love that you can get them in BULK, because restaurants could switch over too. This set might be my favorite for the 4th of July.

Aardvark also sells paper straws made in the US, but according to reviews, they don't hold on as well in liquid. For our wedding, I think we used Kikkerland- the straws are sturdy and biodegradable, but they are made in China, so it depends on your priorities. I found some 4th of July-themed paper straws from Creative Juice Cafe as well if you want to be really spirited!

Picnic Blankets and Chairs- At Pagmanda's picnic, people mostly bring their own seats. Mostly, this means folding chairs and blankets. Chairs seem to always already be in someone's closet, but they had to get there somehow. I don't think people buy these often, and our picnic blankets are almost always just blankets that we have already gotten a lot of use out of. It doesn't get it's own blanket.

If you do want a picnic blanket that is a little more special than your well-worn blankets, Etsy seller Sewn Natural sells some of my favorites, but these blankets come at a pretty steep price. Modern Cabin sells really pretty ones as well.

Need some serious and stay put lawn chairs? My favorite are Polywood chairs, which are made in the US from recycled plastic. They are getting so popular that you can buy them from Target, and you can find other brands, like Eco Poly Furniture, doing the same thing, so you might check your local garden or outdoorsy store. They absolutely aren't cheap, but if you want something that stays in your yard and the color lasts forever, these could be your (very eco-friendly) chairs. To put it in perspective, you can buy similar "synthetic" but good looking furniture out of all new plastic for the same or more money, so boo on you, Highwood.

Looking for something to fold up and bring with you to picnics or parades? Telescope Casual makes those exact chairs (in lots of versions- some open box and cheaper, so poke around). I researched the chairs people bring to sports games or camping now (you know, the ones with armrests with cupholders and mesh), but I didn't find any definitive answers. When I figure it out, I will let you know.  Need some to pull out just for special events? Glo Dea makes pretty wood folding chairs that look really stylish and comfortable, but are still made in the USA!

from Lot 450

Citronella Candles- The trick to being eco-friendly when buying a candle is to avoid paraffin. It's another petroleum-based product and it does not burn clean. So you are breathing in a bunch of nastiness. Almost all mainstream candles, from Yankee Candle to most citronellas, are made with paraffin wax, but you don't have to look too hard to find great candles in soy wax, beeswax, or other substitutes (at about the same price too). You can also actually clean out the jars they come in, so they can get reuse.

Our Pick- We just bought two citronella candles from Etsy stores- Lot 450 Store and Zax Beeswax. I can say they look great and the smell isn't quite as rough, but I will have to update this to let you know how they work. But I am excited to have cut this needless chemicals and non-renewable resource out of our home.

Candle options have exploded in recent years, so you have lots of options. Bite Lite sells soy candles that uses essential oils to repel bugs away. A year ago, I would have thought that was too crazy and granola, but we started using peppermint oil to keep ants and spiders out of our house, and it works so well! Sugar Creek sells a paraffin-free candle as well in a 16 oz jar, so this should last you a long time. You can find tons, and if you don't care about paraffin, you can still keep an eye out for Made in the USA candle choices.

Yard Games- In case your party needs some games (ours don't always go that route, but it can be really fun for somebody when it does), you can find them made in America way more than you might expect. You can find anything on this list Made in America on Etsy or Amazon, or you can use someone else's idea as an inspiration and make your own:

Giant Jenga (this looks so fun! And you can find lots of options)
Frisbee (I really like these ones from The Wright Life as well)
Cornhole Boards (tons of these on Etsy, some made of recycled wood)
Cornhole Bags
Horseshoes (St. Pierre has a set too)
Ring Toss
Badminton (only assembled in the US

This is one that I feel like I am missing lots of things- try going to your local sports store and ask what is made in the US still. Or make some games! It might be fun!

Hefty Trash Bags on Amazon

Trash Bags- Yep, we may not think about it, but at a picnic, don't you feel like you always have to look and find the garbage bag hanging off the corner of some table? Your best option would probably be PAPER grocery bags, but if that doesn't make sense for you, then always use recycled trash bags. Right now everything that is described as biodegrading plastic (in this case) doesn't cut the mustard (if you actually want biodegradable bags, I highly recommend Biobags, but they are mostly for green waste, not regular garbage). They basically break up into tiny pieces that will be impossible for our children and grandchildren to clean up someday. Instead, look for garbage bags with a high percentage of post-consumer plastic.

Our Pick- Hefty sells a recycled garbage bag made of 65% recycled plastic. I love this because it sends a mainstream brand the direct message that their recycled initiatives are worth it and will sell.

Other recycled bags that still have solid reviews- Seventh Generation (55%, 16% post-consumer recycled), Earthsense (60% recycled), Pride Green (100% recycled, but they do have lower reviews, so may not stand up as well to party use), and the best is If You Care (97% recycled with glowing reviews).

Lodge at Sur La Table

Grill Gear- Most of the time we aren't really buying a new grill. If you are, Weber makes some of theirs in the United States, and you can buy them from Sur La Table- if it isn't worth it to you, you can also find TONS of used grills on Ebay- used and US, treat them like the only choices! Even if you aren't buying a grill, you might need a tool or two for your planned menu, so here are a few ideas.

You can find most anything you would need made nearby- Grill brush, grill pan, grill basket. Serious about your grill pans? Lodge sells a cast iron one, and like everything they make, it is no joke. If you are going to do a lot of grilling this way, Lodge is an investment.

LA Linen from Amazon

Tablecloth- This is the kind of thing you just sort of throw in the cart while shopping for other things, and often we settle for something disposable, because it seems a lot easier. But these are usually plastic, which means you can throw it away, but as a planet, we are still stuck with it. Basically, forever. And if you can use the same cloth (even vinyl or polyester) one over and over, the cost might be higher up front, but in the long run, you can save money over those disposable table clothes year after year.

You could very well be able to find something perfect for outdoor use at your neighborhood Salvation Army or Goodwill. I always see lots of tablecloths there, and if you don't have to worry about size, this could be the ticket.

My other pick? LA Linen makes a bunch of outdoor tableclothes in different sizes and fabrics (though mostly polyesters). Everything is made in Los Angeles, and they are also washable, so you can just throw them in with other laundry. Want one like your grammy has? Blue Hill sells those checkered vinyl-y ones that remind me of grandparents. The upside is that they repel stains, the down side is if they do get dirty, they are harder to clean.

If you wanted to take on a craft project, these tablecloths made of sewn-together bandanas look patriotic and cool, and you can buy bandanas made in America for pretty cheap. Essma clothing sells their Made in the USA bandanas in packs of 12. It's a great deal, and you can made a really fun and memorable tablecloth quickly.

Valley Forge Flags from Amazon

Decor- I just posted a blog on amazing 4th of July decorations that are made here and could definitely take your 4th of July picnic to another level. If nothing else, you might want an American flag this summer. You would think all American flags are made here. You would think wrong, because that isn't the case at all. So if you want to get an ethical (and actually patriotic) flag, Valley Forge Flags are one of your best bets (look locally too, just check those tags!).

Ok, Paggy, what barbeque stuff am I forgetting? These are just the kinds of things we would never think twice about just picking up whatever at the store and tossing it when we are done. But that doesn't work anymore, and we know better. No picnic is worth that much more headed to the landfill, and since you are feeding more people than usual, you can make a bigger impact with one meal! Score!

Want more shopping inspiration? Check out my Giant List of Shopping Lists here!

Read more