Dissertation Progress- Proposal Revisions and Big Decisions

So, now that I have gotten married, given my American Moon presentation, and gone to see my Aunt Ann, there is really nothing left to do but to finish this freaking proposal, so that is what I am working on nonstop now. I am frustrated, to be quite honest, with the process, because I just feel stuck. It feels like you know someone wants something from you, but you really don't know what it is or how to give it to them. Plus, I just want to get to work (and start applying for fellowships, or I am going to be one poor grad student next year!).

The other big issue that has come up is that I have an opportunity to go to DC to do research for 10 weeks in the spring. But then I have to be in DC for 10 weeks! It certainly doesn't seem like the best way to start out my marriage, but every time we sit and have a logical conversation about it, the more it seems like a good long term choice. It will help get the dissertation done more quickly. It will force me to reunite with my focus. It had become a should do, but it certainly isn't a want to do. My attitude about graduate school, in general, has become progressively worse, so I am really trying to turn it around. It's hard to love something that consistently just tells you you aren't really worth loving back or that the things you think you have to give are just quaint and not particularly worthwhile. But I know I am finishing the stinking degree, so maybe making the process go a little faster would be wise. Can you tell how I am bouncing back and forth? Alright, the pomodoro tomato says it is time to work again!